#lorelai had to look after rory at 16 and figure it all out

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 24

I try not to get too personal here, but this month it’s hard not to reflect when given an outlet. 

This month I turned 32. I celebrated my first year at a job, and I'm months from a completing 10 years of grown-up work. Kyla and I are planning to record our final bits of our Gilmore Girls podcast SO IT’S A SHOW? after seven years. Pending nothing falls through, I’m about to move out of my first home into a new one. And through exactly zero effort on my part, I achieved my dream of becoming an aunt when my first nephew was born.

Because of that little guy and because I’m now the age of Lorelai at the start of Gilmore Girls, I’m thinking about what I would tell my younger self. (I’m also going through my annual Gilmore rewatch at the moment, so forgive me as, like the Gilmores, I can’t help but think about my life through a pop culture lens sometimes. And like Kathleen Kelly, I often ask, “So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?") When I started Crowd vs. Critic, I was closer to Rory’s age at the start of the series (16), and I identified with her through much through my 20s. I knew one day my responsibilities would look more like Lorelai’s, but I had no idea how much I’d identify with her personality and character arc. I’m sure you’re questioning nature vs. nurture here—is this because I’ve spent more than a decade watching and analyzing the show? Or because the Palladinos and series writers were keen observers of women between the ages of 16 and 32? I imagine it’s a bit of both.

A few things I’d tell my teenage self: 

You won’t leave mean girls behind when you graduate. Even decades later, you’ll be haunted by the moments you crushed others, and your heart will swell remembering people who invited you into the circle.

You’ll figure out how to fix your hair, touch up your makeup, and paint your nails, though by the time you’ve gotten the hang of it all, it won’t feel as important as it does to you now. 

Not that you have everything figured out. You’re still working on body image, finding your voice apart from others, and work-life balance, just to name a few. 

You don’t realize it yet, but you’re an anxious person. Loosening up doesn’t mean you’re slacking, making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re failing. Your life doesn’t look like you expect it will at 32, but you’ve worked to make a lot of it joyful, and I think you’d be proud of a lot of it.

Follow what brings you joy and energy. Trust your taste even if it feels too idiosyncratic or too “girly.” You’ll still love Audrey Hepburn, John Hughes movies, and Taylor Swift when you’re 32 and still growing up now.

Drop what feels like a burden, even if it feels like something you “should” be interested in. Except for your taxes—definitely do your taxes.

Speaking of taxes, adulting sucks sometimes, but your heart won’t die like you fear it might. Long before 32, you realize you wouldn’t trade the freedom of adulthood or that you like yourself better every year to be 16 again. 

SLEEP. Dear me, if you don’t remember anything else on this list, this one piece of advice will improve every area of life, especially during your freshman year of college.

The rest of this post is going to look much more like a typical Round Up, though I’d be remiss to skip one final reflection. In these 5 years of Round Ups and 12 years of Crowd vs. Critic, I've become a better writer, largely because I just keep doing it and hitting “publish” even when I’m not sure each piece is perfect. (Actually, I’m sure—they’re not perfect.) I’m less generous in my reviewing, though I hope it's because my knowledge of film is deeper and my watching is more adventurous, not because I’m a snob. I haven't tired of the concept of Crowd vs. Critic, either. Who knew I'd still be writing about movies and making pop culture recommendations all because of one afternoon at the theater to see Snow White and the Huntsman?

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. The Paris 2024 Olympics

The ‘lympics are back, baby! After a lackluster pair of games muted by a pandemic, they returned with a vengeance narrated by Snoop Dogg’s dulcet enthusiasm. As I’m not qualified to discuss the athletic performances—though, you know, they seemed pretty good to me—I’ll focus my Olympic Round Up on, yes, the memes.

Trying to capture all of Snoop Dogg’s moments of brilliance would be like trying to funnel all the grains of sand on Earth into a trinket dish, but these are a good start:

“Here Are All the Things Snoop Dogg Is Doing at the Paris Olympics,” complex.com

“Watch Snoop Dogg Freestyle to 'Gin & Juice' While Horse Trots Out for Olympics Event,” EW.com

“Snoop Dogg's Badminton Highlights Are Exactly What the Olympic Sport Needs,” NBC.com 

“Pure Gold: Snoop Dogg’s Best Moments at the Olympics So Far,” RollingStone.com

“Fans Can't Get Enough of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Adorable’ Reaction to Meeting a French Bulldog,” Parade.com

But Snoop Dogg wasn't the only highlight. This was the Olympics of memes: 

“These Memes Are Winning The 2024 Paris Olympics,” forbes.com

“How Paris 2024 Became the Most Memed Olympics Ever,” TheConversation.com

“Tom Cruise(d) Into the Olympics Closing Ceremony,” Esquire.com

“Breakdancing Raygun, Tom Cruise's Closing Ceremony Stunt and the Most Meme-able Moments from the 2024 Paris Olympics,” Yahoo.com

And these are a few more Olympic insights sans memes worth recommending: 

“Inside the Creation of the U.S. Gymnasts’ Paris Olympics Leotards,” WashingtonPost.com

“‘Our Billion-Dollar Olympic Lab’: What NBC Is Taking From Paris to L.A.,” HollywoodReporter.com

“Hosting the Olympics Costs Billions. What Does a City Get Back?” NYTimes.com 

2. Trap (2024)

We need more guys like M. Night Shyamalan who make mainstream movies weirder by just doing whatever they want and not caring if anyone else thinks they're cool. (Baz Luhrmann is also great at this.) Don’t think too hard about the plot mechanics here—just go along for the ride as serial killer Josh Hartnett (cooking!) watches the stadium walls closing in at a concert. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

3. It Ends With Us (2024)

I didn't know I had 1000 words in me on this weepy, but here I am mentioning Douglas Sirk and Spitgate and 2007's Waitress all in one breath in my review for ZekeFilm. I also did my best to quickly sum up the red carpet drama in my review for KMOV. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

4. Honey by Isabel Banta (2024)

Inspired by Ashlee, Backstreet, Britney, Christina, Destiny, Hilary, Lindsay, Jessica, Kelly, Mandy, Mariah, NSYNC, and insert-your-fave-pop-act-of-the-late-‘90s-and-early-‘00s here, Isabel Banta’s debut novel examines how the music industry consumes and destroys young people (especially women) in the pursuit of another Top 40 hit. It’s more salacious than I prefer, but I couldn’t stop thinking about its insight into how women’s bodies are reduced to their elements both for publicity and to be jeered at—you might call it stripping them and selling them for parts. Though women have greater agency on the Billboard charts now than they did 25 years ago, it will make you remember Taylor Swift couldn’t buy back her catalog from Scooter Braun and Sabrina Carpenter getting slammed for love triangle gossip.

5. Double Feature - 2024 Streaming Romances feat. Middle-Aged Women Falling for Famous Men 16 Years Younger Introduced to Them by Their Daughters: The Idea of You + A Family Affair

In romantic drama The Idea of You (Crowd: 8.5 // Critic: 6.5/10), Anne Hathaway falls for a thinly-veiled Harry Styles (Nicholas Galitzine), which would be perfect if her insecurities weren’t making her second-guess every step of their May-December relationship. In romantic comedy A Family Affair (9/10 // 7/10), Nicole Kidman falls for an A-list movie star (Zac Efron), which would be perfect if he wasn’t her daughter’s (Joey King) demanding boss. Idea doesn’t stick to its own plot logic and Affair leans into clichés, but they’re both a good time if you come with an open heart. Both should have been theatrical releases!

MORE AUGUST CROWD-PLEASERS // The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) proves Guy Ritchie can't return to the stylish espionage well too many times // Tommy Boy (1995) is the platonic ideal of a Saturday Night Live cast movie // Why did this rom-com fan wait so long to watch the charming Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)? // The Secret of Us by Gracie Abrams (2024) shows a promising future for an up-and-coming singer-songwriter // I wonder if we’re all going to agree we slept on the fun action-comedy The Instigators (2024) in a few years

August Critic Picks

1. Sing Sing (2024)

Each year there is one film I dub the Official Ugly Cry of Taylor Blakes Everywhere, and I hope this is it because I don't think I handle another until 2025. (Previous recipients include The Father, The Iron Claw, tick, tick...BOOM!, and Women Talking.) This prison drama made me think of The Shawshank Redemption and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I’m not sure if this will be an all-timer like those, but it’s a good sign we won’t be forgetting Colman Domingo’s incredible lead performance through Awards Season. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

2. The Hollywood Hack Podcast Series (2024)

Remember when North Korea hacked Sony because of a James Franco/Seth Rogen comedy? This three-part series covers one of the weirdest pop culture moments of my lifetime that I had also almost completely forgotten about. Like all of Brian Raftery’s reporting for The Big Picture, it’s full of thoughtful interviews and analysis on how it paved the way for the next decade of pop culture. 

3. Hollywood Black: The Stars, The Films, The Filmmakers by Donald Bogle (2019)

This book from the Turner Classic Movies library chronicles the history of African-American cinema decade by decade, listing more than 800 films that chronicle the progress and setbacks for Black Hollywood. Bogle tracks evolving stereotypes, career opportunities, and thematic depth starting with the dawn of moving pictures in 1903. All have improved greatly—and the book ends on an optimistic note with its publication just after Black Panther, Get Out, and Moonlight—but a book like this provides phenomenal context for issues and criticisms we still discuss today. Another must-read from TCM!

4. Double Feature - Hollywood Black Recommendations: Stormy Weather (1943) + To Sir, With Love (1967)

I have a lot of titles left to watch mentioned in Hollywood Black, but I’m glad I prioritized these two before they expired on my DVR. In Stormy Weather (Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 8/10), Lena Horne and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson fall in and out of love as they pack in the musical performances with major Black performers of the day (like Fats Waller and the Nicholas Brothers). In To Sir, With Love (8.5/10 // 8.5/10), Sidney Poitier wrangles a rambunctious classroom of London teenagers, inspiring them to treat others (and themselves) with respect. Both are susceptible to corny genre motifs, but their lead performances are radiant. 

5. Double Wedding (1937)

Because Myrna Loy and William Powell are still chemistry GOATs! As per usual, Powell and Loy are meant to be in this romantic comedy, but first they have to restore her sister’s (Florence Rice) relationship with a mild-mannered nice guy (John Beal) after she decides she’d rather be with the caddish, charming Powell. An underrated ‘30s screwball rom-com! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

MORE AUGUST CRITIC PICKS // Even a lesser Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers feature like Follow the Fleet (1936) is filled with phenomenal dance sequences // Even a lesser sequel like Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) is filled with phenomenal stunt work // Even a lesser version of The Thin Man like Star of Midnight (1935) is filled with wit when William Powell is paired with Ginger Rogers

Also in August…

In our (probably) penultimate episode SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I researched the inspiration for Rory Gilmore’s journalistic aspirations, Christiane Amanpour. And to do this research, we go to the most important primary sources we could find: sub-par Hollywood sequels! What inspired Amanpour to become a journalist? Is she a good role model for Rory? And what did she think of the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix? Listen to ep. 142 to find out.

I stopped by KMOV for a Fall Preview to share four September and October films I’m excited for: 

Photo credits: Olympics, Honey, Hollywood Hack, Hollywood Black. All others IMDb.com.

[yeaahishowedupatyourparty]

ANDERSSON COUSINS

- I enjoy these posts too much but remember, these are just my canon ideas. obviously people who play the andersson sisters might develop different ideas for their children. this is jus the kind of dynamic I imagine. josie’s children aren’t listed bc she gives me fun, single aunt vibes so i dont think she’d have kids in canon verse.

TALULLAH.

daughter of clara

thirty-two years old 

bisexual

pisces 

oldest of the calloway cousins 

co-owns her own size inclusive fashion brand 

sharp-tongued, keeps everyone in check, straight talking and takes no shit 

makes her own jewellery for fun 

loves being single, anti-men for the time being 

always the cousin who makes funny jibes at gatherings and bullies everyone into wearing christmas jumpers for dinner 

ELOISE. 

step-daughter of anthea

twenty-seven years old

you know who she is 

CONNOR.

son of thalia

twenty-six years old 

heterosexual 

capricorn 

thalia’s oldest son 

plays semi-professional football but also works at his dad’s company (investment and property) 

he has his head on his shoulders and is a hard-worker but also a big party boy 

was engaged when he in his early-twenties but it didn’t last, going with the flow 

very protective over all of his cousins and likes everyone to be ok 

AMBER.

daughter of anthea

twenty-six years old 

you know who she is 

RORY (LORELAI).

daughter of elli

twenty-five years old 

pansexual 

aquarius 

elli’s only child 

doing her master degree in computer science. she’s always loved coding and anything to do with computers when she was young. 

she dropped out of high school at 12 because of severe anxiety and was home-schooled by elli for the next for years 

very family-orientated, loves her mum 

it’s always been her and elli. she was an accident and knows it, even though elli never used those words :’) 

the most awkward of the cousins but loveable in her own way 

FELICITY. 

daughter of anthea

twenty-five years old 

you know who she is 

FINN (FINNLEY).

son of daphne 

twenty-four 

heterosexual 

cancer

daphne’s oldest child and only son

in his final year of university studying music and lives and breathes his band but lowkey feels like it’s not going to work out 

went on a gap year at 18 and had the time of his life, has been to a ton of countries and is really knowledgable about different cultures 

can be quite sensitive and emotional at times 

loves praise and stresses too much about being liked/pleasing people 

doesn’t have a backup plan if music doesn’t work out, it stresses him out.

SAM.

son of thalia

twenty-four years old

sagittarius 

thalia’s second oldest son 

diagnosed with ADHD from about four years old and was always labelled a “problem child” throughout his school career. he was also diagnosed with dyslexia and struggled with education. 

he left school at 16 and found work in construction and trained in both plumbing and electrics and completed an internship 

is absolutely a serial dater and always has a new girlfriend at every family event, it’s becoming a running joke 

loud but also loveable and would do anything for anyone

VIOLET.

daughter of anthea

twenty-three years old 

you know who she is 

NOAH.

son of julia

twenty-three years old 

scorpio 

bisexual 

julia’s oldest child 

very shy and reserved, tends to keep himself to himself but was always close to his mum growing up. 

he hasn’t really figured out what he wants to do with life yet but has had a scholarship at UCLA for basketball and has been doing that. he’s not sure he wants to do sports though.

struggling with his sexuality and isn’t feeling confident to tell his family yet.

laidback and very intelligent 

DEJI.

son of emery

twenty-three years old 

aries 

adopted at birth, he doesn’t know his biological family and doesn’t really want to 

pansexual 

takes after emery in the sense that he’s always looking on the bright side of things. he’s definitely best connected with tallulah. they’re both pure extroverts and the party-starters when it comes to the cousins 

studying english at university and is debating becoming a teacher 

obsessed with cars, knows everything about them 

taught himself japanese during lockdown 

he has a ton of followers on instagram and is like semi-insta famous 

MEGHAN.

daughter of thalia

twenty-one 

libra 

the older of the two twins 

an absolute drama queen, loves to be centre of attention, always working on her image and aesthetic 

dreams of being famous but has no clue how she’ll do it 

heterosexual 

super unlucky with love, she’s never really been shown a good relationship other than the one her parents have had. all of her boyfriends have treated her like crap and she internalises it 

even though she’s out there and loud, she is very insecure 

wasn’t very liked in high school - a mixture of her being “too much” but also jealousy. teenage girls hate to see confidence. 

more chilled when she’s around family. 

RONNIE.

son of thalia

twenty-one 

libra 

the younger of the two twins 

so laid back that he could be horizontal, loves surfing and works at his city’s zoo for £££. 

100% a stoner even though he’s always promising his mum that he isn’t. meghan has ratted him out a billion times for smoking. 

heterosexual 

once got involved in a jet-ski accident which caused him to have a shoulder injury, he has no feeling in the fingertips on his left hand but got off pretty easy other than that 

no fear response, is permanently throwing himself into dangerous situations 

LOVES his mum a lot and is very protective of her, even though he’s the bane of her life 

nobody actually knows how he got a job anywhere because he’s irresponsible asf. 

LACEY.

daughter of anthea 

twenty years old 

you know who she is

ZARA.

daughter of anthea

twenty years old 

you know who she is 

AUDREY.

daughter of julia

twenty years old 

taurus 

julia’s middle child 

organised, type A, perfectionist just like her mother. she strives on academic validation. 

always the top of class and is naturally good at just about everything 

has never had a boyfriend and doesn’t like to talk about it 

heterosexual 

definitely the mom friend in most situations, wise beyond her years 

loves any subject that involves hard logic and facts like science and maths, she struggles with more open concepts like philosophy, art and english. 

sometimes wishes she was more reckless like some of her cousins but can’t get herself there, it isn’t in her nature

always living in the past/wondering what if/feeling like she’s wasting time 

ALICE.

daughter of daphne and the youngest child

twenty years-old 

leo

finnley is her half-brother, they have different dad’s but are still as close as anything and have been raised to treat each other as siblings. daphne  would hate them to think having different dad’s matters. 

heterosexual 

alice is half-hispanic and has spent a lot of her young adult life learning spanish and trying to re-engage with her roots. she definitely feels more connected to her peruvian heritage before her swedish roots. she definitely thinks this comes down to looking a lot different from the other girls in her family. 

she and deji have a really good bond, especially because they’re in similar situations in their families 

inherited her mum’s love for disney films but definitely feels a bigger love for films like Moana, raya and the last dragon, mulan, brave, tangled, rather than the classics 

she dreams of becoming an animator one day 

is a bit of a trend-setter, always knows what’s going on in the world of social media and stays on top of looks. 

was in the popular group in high school but was the funny one, not the queen bee or anything. has a dry and funny sense of humour. 

FLORA.

daughter of marissa and an only child

literally suffers from only child syndrome, she’s crap at sharing and has the people skills of a black rhino 

nineteen years old 

aries

heterosexual 

she’s just started university and is into theatrical make-up. she’s obsessed with the idea of working on film sets or in grand theatres in london 

she’s marissa’s daughter in the sense that she’s unapologetically herself and a lot of people mistake their angelic/girlish looks for being weak, when in reality they often just say it as it is 

she’s a player and absolutely talks to men too old for her on tinder because she finds it hilarious 

has a good head on her shoulders, not easily manipulated 

has a bit of an attitude problem but her cousins just make fun of it/don’t take it too seriously 

the best gift giver of the lot 

plays dumb to avoid responsibility but is seriously smart 

MELANIE.

julia’s youngest daughter and the baby of this generation

nineteen years old 

asexual 

cancer

very attached to flora seeing as they’re so close in age, it’s taken/taking her a long time to truly come out of herself 

classic introvert. loves her alone time, reading, being left with her thoughts and is easily drained from too much socialising but also never wants to be left out 

there’s a lot she wants to do - travel, date, change up her look, get a cool job, make new friends - but she lacks the confidence to do it, which leads her to feeling stuck 

goes to the same university as flora but is studying fine art 

worries a lot...about everything 

is a real sweetheart, like nobody ever has any problems with her 

has an amazing intuition, even though she’s the youngest, she can read people the fastest (and 9/10 is correct about people) 

enjoys baking 

can get shy whenever she gets attention that goes further than platonic 

BIRTH ORDER USING REAL TIME. 

TALLULAH - march 1990 

ELOISE - may 1995 

CONNOR - january 1996

AMBER - february 1996 

LORELAI - january 1997

FELICITY - november 1997

SAM - december 1997

FINNLEY - june 1998 

VIOLET - september 1998 

NOAH - november 1998 

DEJI - april 1999 

MEGHAN AND RONNIE - october 2000

AUDREY - may 2001

ALICE - august 2001

LACEY AND ZARA - december 2001 

FLORA - april 2002

MELANIE - june 2002

COUSINS WHO WOULD HAVE POTENTIALLY BEEN IN SCHOOL TOGETHER.

 eloise would’ve started school the year after tallulah graduated

 connor would have been in the year below eloise

 amber would have been in the same year as connor 

lorelai would have been the year below amber & connor

 felicity would have been the year below lorelai & in the same year as sam and finnley

violet, noah and deji would have all been the same year at school and the year below felicity, sam and finnley. they would have started high school the same year eloise entered her final one. 

meghan, ronnie, audrey & alice would have all been in the year below violet, noah and deji. by the time they got to school, eloise would have graduated and connor would be in his final year.

lacey, zara, flora and melanie would all be in the same year below meghan, ronnie, audrey and alice. lorelai would’ve been in her last year of school when they got there, amber and connor would have graduated.

MOST EXTROVERTED TO INTROVERTED

tallulah

sam

flora

meghan

lacey

felicity

deji

ronnie

zara

amber

alice

violet

connor

audrey

finnley

eloise

melanie

lorelai

noah

[thejollyroger-writer]

Mixed-Up Metaphors, Messed-Up Makeup

a/n: this is the post-revival Gilmore Girls AU that nobody asked me to write (except Devon), written specifically for her birthday. so, @shireness-says​, this is for you. happy birthday, friend. 

Summary: Rory is pregnant, lost, and looking for something deeper to tie her to Storybrooke. (surprise: it’s Jess Mariano)

Rated G // 7K // also on ao3

(Thanks to @hollyethecurious​ and @let-it-raines​ for helping me figure this out and giving me someone to chat with about writing it, since I obviously couldn’t go to Devon this time) 

WEEK TEN

Jess Mariano never asks anything of her. Some days, Rory can swear that he’s the only person who wants nothing from her. And it is simply for this reason that she invites him to sit with her in her office as many days as he’s allowed, after meeting him for breakfast at Luke’s. Because, unlike everyone else in Stars’ Hollow, Jess seems content sitting in the corner of her office, reading his next book or tapping away on his laptop, working on his own novel, or on something else. 

Sometimes, when she knows she is going to have a particularly boring day, she asks him to come with her. Usually, she does not, and it is just another unspoken agreement for him to show up a few hours after breakfast, toting a to-go bag and a cup of coffee.

Usually, they sit in almost-silence, one of them playing some music softly in the background, every once in a while asking a question about word choice or the order of a sentence, or Jess reading a sentence or a section from that day’s selection. 

And then, the morning sickness starts. Usually, she is able to control it before she leaves to meet him for breakfast, hoping that he doesn’t realize her change in appetite. 

(He does. He just doesn’t say anything.) 

It’s not like she doesn’t want to tell him. Hell, there is the slight possibility that the baby is his anyway, after one of the few nights they spent together when she came back to Stars’ Hollow, nights that they have wordlessly decided to completely ignore but that sometimes still happen when she finds herself in his arms late at night, sometimes even forgetting how she got there. 

She just… doesn’t know how to tell him. Because what if it’s not his, which is just as likely? It’s not like she needs anything from him, expects anything from him, even if it is his. Though, she knows deep down, that no matter what the case is, if she told him that she wanted him to be a part of this child’s life — which she does — he would do it. 

That’s part of the reason she lo —

She cares about him so much. 

These are the thoughts swirling through her already-chaotic mind when she feels her stomach begin to churn, a feeling that she can sometimes control. 

This does not seem to be one of those times. 

Jess, of course, notices the change in her almost immediately — the way she is breathing, the redness of her face, her straighter posture, the moments of fear that pass through her eyes when she fears she may not be able to control it. 

“Are you alright?” he asks, finally breaking the thick silence that has fallen around her. In her chest, her heart pounds wildly, hard enough for her to feel it in her stomach, and all she can do before pushing herself out of the office chair and crossing the room, hoping to at least make it into the bathroom, is shake her head, trying to combat the tears that always come with her failing gag reflex. 

Shit. 

“Do you want my help?” he calls, and though she did not hear the pounding of his boots against the fake hardwood, he sounds much closer to the cracked bathroom door than his usual perch. 

“No!” 

(Didn’t people always say that they loved being pregnant? How is that the case when she has been starting every morning by losing the contents of her stomach? When she has felt nauseous non-stop for the last eight weeks? She thought this was supposed to be fun.) 

Her bathroom stay is short-lived, at least. (On the bright side of getting sick all the time is her stomach’s — the baby’s — ability to pick and choose what it wants to keep and what it wants to get rid of, and this morning is only seems angry about the apple she ate on her way over here. 

Ironic.)

She gives herself another minute to calm down, to splash cold water on her hands and her face and try to get her heart rate back to a normal human’s number. She’s so overwhelmed by making herself feel better that she almost forgets that he’s waiting for her outside the door, silent and patient and — why does he have to be like that? 

Slowly — oh my god, so slowly — she opens the door to the bathroom, as if putting off the action will somehow stop the conversation she knows she is about to have. (Maybe if I spend enough time in the bathroom, he’ll just… leave, she tells herself, but even as she has the thought, she shakes her head with the ridiculousness of it.) 

For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. She can’t even bring herself to look at him, putting all of her attention instead on her feet as they cross the worn-down floor back to her desk, left, right, left, right. 

And then… he still doesn’t say anything. He sits, silently, in his chair, and she can feel that his eyes never leave hers. But he says nothing, which manages to drive her absolutely insane, stuck with only her own thoughts and the pounding of her heart and that stupid rattling pipe in the corner, the cars on the street outside, the chattering of passerby, her blood rushing through her ears, that damn pipe — 

“I’m pregnant,” she says finally, the words practically exploding out of her. 

Silently, he nods, but she doesn’t miss the slight widening of his eyes, the gentle parting of his lips. 

She can swear that her heart actually stops beating. What if this is too much for him? What if I’ve just totally screwed up absolutely everything, and he’s going to pack up his things and leave, leave the office and leave Stars’ Hollow and never talk to me again— 

“Okay.” She almost doesn’t catch the word, barely more than a breath on his lips, but it is the brightness of his eyes that really catches her attention, suddenly, all at once. “Are you okay? What can I do to help?” 

She is useless against the way her jaw falls slack. “What?” 

He narrows his eyes at her, as if he doesn’t understand her confusion. 

“I mean, you’re sick, right? Is there anything I can do? Do you need some water, something to eat? Do you have a stash of Saltines somewhere?” 

She’s… 

Speechless. Shocked. In awe. Dumbstruck. Without words. 

Alright, so maybe with words. But certainly not the right ones. 

He’s… has he always been like this? Has he always cared so much? 

She knows the answer, though she also knows that she’s been trying to avoid the same knowledge for almost as long as she’s been back in Stars’ Hollow. Honestly, (though, really, she hates being honest with herself), it shouldn’t surprise her as much as it does, his heartwarming, caring demeanor, his immediate jump to help her, to be there for her. 

If there wasn’t a large wooden desk between them — if she even had the energy to jump up in the first place — she may have even found herself quickly crossing the room to kiss him. Maybe. 

For now, though, all she does is smile, reaching down to open the bottom drawer of her desk, where she pulls a water bottle and a pack of saltines from. 

He smiles back — warm, genuine, glad that she seems to be content at the moment. “Good,” he says, his attention moving back towards the book resting in his lap. “Let me know if you need my help.” 

It’s a loaded statement, and even as his eyes begin moving across the words on the page, Rory sits in her chair watching him, slowly eating a few saltines from the open pack. Does he know just how much that one question could mean? How many of those meanings did he actually mean? Is she overthinking this? 

Of course she’s overthinking this, and she knows that — and something about the shadow of a smirk that grows on his lips, his eyes still on the book as he turns the page, makes her pretty sure that he knows she’s overthinking it, too. 

WEEK 16

She’s been trying to ask Jess for help for two weeks now, since she decided this is something she wants to do. She just… doesn’t know how. Will he even want to do it? Will he be mad at her because she wants to do it? 

What will her mother think?

What will Logan think?

She’s taken to spending most nights with Jess in the apartment above Luke’s instead of back in her old bedroom, constantly under the watchful eyes of both Lorelai and Luke. Jess asking her if she’s eaten today is caring, done in a much less agitated tone, while all she gets at home is nagging and food shoved in her direction. 

“It’s almost as if your mother has forgotten what it’s like to be pregnant,” Jess tells her very helpfully one night after she came to the apartment with her laptop, her pajamas, and a brown paper bag full of vegetables that she knows her mother never ate while pregnant. 

“Well, I need her to remember,” Rory had huffed, falling backwards onto the couch, her hands on her stomach — a poise she’s found herself in more often lately, with the small human growing inside her just starting to make itself more obvious. 

At the moment, Jess has settled in at his spot at the counter, tossing together some sort of chicken stir-fry with ingredients that he found in the back of his freezer and the pantry. Rory never would have guessed just how much he liked to cook, especially wouldn’t have assumed that he’s so good at it — but she supposes it’s also something she’s never been able to take for granted, since everyone knows Lorelai is certainly no master chef. 

Can you help me with something? The words are on the tip of her tongue, begging to be released as she watches him expertly cut the chicken breasts into strips, a few strands of his now-longer hair falling away from his forehead. 

(She’s not sure how she feels about his hair, though she does appreciate the fact that he looks older, unsure of whether it’s because of the hair or the stubble or just his overall older-feeling aura. She hasn’t mentioned anything to him — it’s certainly not her place, as his… 

What are they, anyway? On the nights when her loneliness has been the strongest, she’s spent the night sharing his bed with him, not complaining when he rolled towards her in the middle of the night, wrapped his arm around her stomach, his breath on her back. But they haven’t discussed it, Rory not even sure that she wants to. Would it ruin the content feeling that washes over her when she walks into the apartment, when he smiles at her from across the room, when she secretly wakes when he does, much earlier than she needs to in order to help open the restaurant, and feels the hitching of his breath when he realizes that he has once again unconsciously wrapped himself around her?) 

“It’s hard to concentrate when you’re staring a hole through my head,” he says finally, not even raising his eyes from the cutting board as he breaks the almost-silence of the apartment. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles, but he just smiles. 

“Obviously you’re thinking about something.” 

It’s not a question, she can tell that much. He’s not really asking her to divulge whatever she is obviously thinking about, but she takes it as an invitation nonetheless. 

“I think I need to tell Logan.” 

This makes him stop working, set the knife down on the cutting board, turn his eyes up to meet hers. “Yeah?” 

She just nods. 

“If that’s what you want to do, I’m not going to talk you out of it.” 

“He’s going to want to know if it’s his.” 

Just as the words pass through her lips, she realizes that this very subject is something they haven’t discussed yet. Jess takes a deep breath, stepping away from the counter. For a moment, Rory fears the worst, that he is going to leave her with her spiraling thoughts — but instead he washes his hands in the sink before walking to her, reaching out to take her hands. His are cold, a side effect from the chicken that the hot water didn’t manage to wash away entirely, but Rory doesn’t really care — just the feel of them in hers warms her from the inside out. 

“He has a right to know that,” he says, trying not to let his own disappointment reach his face, Rory can tell somehow. 

“Do you want to know?” The question falls from her lips without her permission, but once it’s out, she almost feels a sense of relief. 

He squeezes her hands. “For me, knowing changes nothing. I’m here for you, for this one, for as long as you’ll let me, but the genetic makeup means nothing in relation to how I feel about you. You have to know that.” 

“He’s going to make me find out.” 

Now, it’s not affection that passes across Jess’ face, but something much darker. “Rory, he can’t make you do anything. If his desire to have anything to do with this kid’s life is dependent upon a genetic test and not—” 

“I kind of want to know, though,” she admits to someone beside herself for the first time. 

Jess nods. “If that’s what you want, then I’m not going to stop you. Make the appointment, I’ll go with you.” 

WEEK 20

“Now what do we do?” Rory asks, holding the paper loosely between her fingers. 

“It’s up to you, you know that,” he says, his voice as gentle as the hand placed on her lower back. She knows that he said he won’t be upset either way, knows that it doesn’t change the way he feels, but she can tell that he’s at least a little let down. 

“We decided that if it confirmed Logan was the father, I would tell him.” 

“It’s your decision, Rory,” he says, his voice soft, caring — more than he has the right to be. “Seeing the results of the test don’t change the fact that it’s still completely up to you.” 

I love you, she almost says. The words tickle the tip of her tongue, which she quickly clamps between her teeth, almost hard enough to draw blood. It’s not the first time she’s had the thought, but it is the closest she has come to actually speaking the words. 

It doesn’t help that they’re still avoiding the subject of what exactly they want from each other. Okay, maybe avoiding isn’t the right word, because Rory is pretty sure that he’s not doing it on purpose. What she thinks he’s doing instead is giving her space, time to think, not pushing her by asking what she can only hope spends as much time on his mind as it does on hers — but it’s also, simultaneously, driving her absolutely insane. He wants to be with her, he’s made that obvious enough more times than she can count — has been doing so for almost as long as she’s known him — but has always let her take the lead, always made sure that she was the first one to make the move. 

She just… doesn’t know how to do it. She does know that this moment specifically is not the time for it. 

“He still deserves to know.” 

Jess just nods. Takes half a step back from her, his hand still ghosting against her back, so light that she would forget it was there if not for the intense heat that he is always letting off. 

“Then let’s call him.” 

The words set a weight on her shoulders that she doesn’t know what to do with, make her back hurt a little more than it already has been, somehow. 

“I need—” she says, her breath suddenly much harder to catch than moments before. “I need to sit down,” she manages, maneuvering through the kitchen and into the living room before plopping herself down on the couch. 

“Do you want some water?” 

She just nods, hoping that he is paying enough attention to catch it. Either he does, or he just gets her a glass anyway, appearing beside her what feels like moments later with it in his hand.

I love you, she almost says again, but what really comes out of her mouth is, “I can’t do this.” 

“Of course you can,” he responds, resting his hand on her knee — again, gently, with more care than he needs to, and, again, somehow radiating heat, even with her own body heating with her inability to catch her breath.

“No. No. What if he— what if he refuses to stay out of it? What if he insists on coming here, on leaving his pretty little princess fiance and his high class life and moves to Stars Hollow just to spite me, just because he insists he deserves to be around when it’s very literally the very last thing I want?” 

“Rory, listen to what you’re saying. This is Logan we’re talking about, a man who never compromised anything for anyone—” 

“But he’s changed since you last—”

“Changed enough to leave behind everything he knows, his entire holier-than-thou world, to move to this shitty little town?” 

“Jess!” 

“I’m serious! When was the last time he has ever sacrificed anything for anyone, done something for anyone other than himself?” 

She takes a breath, coming slightly easier now, and releases it slowly. Then another. 

“He has no right to be here with you in the first place, Rory,” Jess says finally. “He wouldn’t change his plans for you in college and wouldn’t leave his fiance for you now. He may fight to see this kid every once in a while, to at least not be barred completely from its life, but in every other sense of the word, it’s ours, okay?” 

This is the first time he’s said that. Said anything even remotely like that. Every other time it’s been hers — her baby, her decision, her comfort. It may not be the words she’s been wanting to say, the questions that have been keeping her up at night, even when she’s wrapped in his arms, but it’s something. And even that feels huge. 

Nodding, she takes another breath and pulls her cell phone out of her back pocket. She places her other hand on top of his, still resting on her knee. “Let’s do this.” 

He answers on the second ring, moments after Rory realizes both that time zones are a thing and that she has absolutely no idea which one he’s in. 

“Rory?” He has the audacity to almost sound excited to hear from her. 

“Hey.” For a moment, it’s all she can muster, thinking about just hanging up instead of going through with the rest of it. Her fear must be painted across her face, because when she turns to Jess, he just ticks one side of his lips up in a smile, squeezing her knee gently. 

“Is everything okay?” Logan asks, at the same moment Rory manages, “How are you? Did I wake you up?” 

“No, no,” he says, “I’m in New York right now, weirdly enough, and I was--I’m gonna be honest with you, I was just thinking about you.” 

“Oh.” 

“Are you okay?” he says again, after a beat passes. 

“Well, no. I mean, yeah, but— listen, Logan, can you—can you just let me talk for a minute? Please?” 

“Uh, yeah. O-okay, sure.” 

She sighs, loudly, through her teeth, which she’s sure Logan heard on the other end of the line. She doesn’t really care. 

“I’m pregnant. Five months. There’s a chance that it wasn’t yours, that it— happened after I got home, but we did all the tests and stuff and it — well, it is, it’s yours, and I just felt like you had the right to know, even though I don’t want or expect or— whatever — anything from you. I’m staying here, with—” somehow, her brain makes the snap decision not to mention Jess. “In Stars Hollow, at home with my family where I’m comfortable, and you don’t — there’s nothing you have to do, I don’t even — you don’t even have to come meet it when it’s born, but I just thought that you should know.” 

Silence. Long, devastating, heart-pounding silence. 

When he finally speaks, it’s quiet, though Rory has the feeling that it’s to hide the words from someone around him and not because he’s been rendered speechless: “And you don’t… want to be with me?” 

“God, Logan, seriously?” She half-wishes he could see the way she rolls her eyes at his question. Maybe he can even hear it in her voice. Jess lets out a breathy laugh. “You’ve spent years not choosing me, not even believing that I could be your first choice, you’ve hurt me more times than I could count, have chosen yourself and others over me since we were young, and you think this is suddenly going to erase all of that? Finally, I’m doing something that makes me happy, doing something for myself, I’m with someone who accepts my decisions and wants what’s best for me, for the baby, and not for himself — do you even know how to do that?” 

Silence. Again. 

“You’re with somebody else?” 

She sighs. That’s the part he’s caught up on? She wants to be surprised. But she can’t. “Yes.” 

“If you hadn’t done the tests, hadn’t decided to figure out if it was —  would you still have called me?” 

“No.” 

Silence. 

“How did you expect me to respond?” 

“I told you, Logan, I’ve learned not to expect anything from you. We just felt like you had the right to know.” 

“Mm-hmm,” he hums, enough anger behind the sound that Rory can feel it in her bloodstream. “And who is we? Do I have the right to know who will be raising my child?” 

She expected a few things from this phone call. She expected to be overwhelmed. She expected Logan to ask her a few questions. She even half-expected to get upset with him. But what she didn’t expect was anger. 

“You know what? No, I really don’t have to tell you that, do I? I really don’t have to tell you anything, actually. I’ll make sure someone contacts you when it’s born, because you have the right to know that, I guess, but until then? Goodbye, Logan.” 

It’s one of those moments that she wishes phones still had the ability to slam, because angrily pressing the little red “end call” button doesn’t adequately portray just how angry she is at him. Tossing the phone onto the couch next to her makes her feel a little better, though not quite enough. 

“See,” Jess says after a moment, taking his hand off her knee just to wrap his arm around her shoulder. “I knew you had it in you.” 

It’s as if the phone call has awakened some sense of fearlessness in her, and between the adrenaline rush and her new-found freedom, she feels unstoppable: 

“Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” 

Watching the collection of expressions that pass across his face manages to pull a smile to Rory’s face. 

The stuttering that follows, even moreso. 

“I just — I wanted you — to make sure — I didn’t want—” 

“Jess,” she says, turning her shoulders to face him more head-on, and his words stop when she places her hand against his cheek. “Please, just stop talking.” 

First, he smiles, stretching the arm he has laying across her shoulder to run his thumb across her cheek. And then, finally, he does it. Softly, sweetly, gently — everything he has proven himself to be over the past few months. Everything Rory needed him to be. Everything. 

WEEK 21

“So, I, uh, talked to Logan a few days ago,” Rory says, stirring the sugar into the cup of (decaf) coffee sitting on the table in front of her. 

Lorelai almost loses the sip that is in her mouth, covering her face with the back of her hand, eyes wide. “Rory! You can’t just drop a line like that on someone with a mouth full of coffee.” 

Rory lets out her own laugh, taking another bite from her plate of chocolate chip pancakes. “Sorry! But look, I— I just thought you should know. Man, what was the last thing I updated you on? Did I tell you that we decided to do the paternity test?” 

“Uh, no!” she says, her eyes growing wider still. “How did you not tell me this?”

She shrugs. “I mean, I probably decided to wait until we got the results to tell you, I guess, so now—”

“Wait, wait, let me guess,” she says, holding her hand up between them. Rory rolls her eyes, but gestures for her mother to continue. “If you had to call Logan, then I’m assuming that means Jess is not the father.”

Rory sighs, and, taking another bite of her pancakes, nods. “Bingo.” 

“And how does Jess feel about all of this?” 

Heat rushes to her cheeks, but even that doesn’t stop the smile from forming on her lips. 

Her suddenly-trembling lips. 

“He says it doesn’t change anything,” she says, trying to swallow the lump that’s risen up her throat. “That he still, you know, wants to be with me, wants to help raise the baby, but, I mean, it had to have at least brought his spirits down a little.” 

“It’s a true sign of his feelings, though,” she says, as if it’s not something Rory’s been obsessing over since… 

Since when? Since they got the test results in the mail? 

Since they decided to get the test done in the first place? 

Since she told him she was pregnant in the first place? 

She knows that all of these are wrong, though. She knows that she has been obsessing over Jess’ feelings since the first time she saw him when she came back to Stars’ Hollow. 

“Can we change the subject? Please?” she asks, just in time to hear the door at the back of the restaurant open. By now, it’s a sound that she would know anywhere, followed by the knowing pound of Jess’ boots against the hardwood floors. 

“Your grandmother wants to throw you a baby shower,” Lorelai says, trying her best to ignore the way Rory’s eyes follow Jess through the restaurant, but the way she smiles as he approaches the table, as he presses his lips against her forehead, still pulls a smile to her face. 

“Did you hear that, Jess?” Rory asks. “Mrs. Emily Gilmore is going to throw us a baby shower.” 

“When?” 

Lorelai finds herself surprised by his lack of a sarcastic comment — though, she supposes, maybe he has grown up a bit. 

“That’s what we were about to figure out, actually.” 

“Well, she wants to have it on a Sunday, she says it’s more proper that way.”

“Is she going to let us be in charge of the guest list, or is she going to want to invite her friends?” 

“She seemed to sound like she wanted you to make all the decisions, maybe let her feel like she’s in charge of a few things, and she’ll foot the bill.” 

“Good ol’ Emily Gilmore,” Rory mumbles, taking a sip of her coffee. “But yeah, that sounds — I can do that, I’ll give her a call later.” 

 Between Emily’s other proper Sunday events and the few that Jess has to spend in video calls with the publishing company — the agreement he was able to bring them to after the weekends on the road became too much for him (for Rory, really) — they decide on a Sunday two months down the road, Emily being surprisingly lenient with Rory’s wanting to have it at the Dragonfly Inn, and to have it catered by Sookie. 

(“Whatever you want, dear, it’s your baby shower,” she kept saying, though Rory could almost hear the passive-aggressive smile that she knows was spread across her face.) 

WEEK 24

“Would it be weird if I read to him?” Jess asks one night, Rory’s head in his lap as they both type away on their laptops, Jess’ current favorite indie British band softly playing from the speakers of his. 

Instead of answering the question, Rory asks one of her own: “What makes you so sure it’s a him?” 

He shrugs, pausing his work to place his hand on Rory’s ever-growing stomach. “I just have a feeling, you know?” he says, spreading his fingers wide. 

Rory can’t help but smile. 

“I mean, I don’t think it would be weird at all. I’m pretty sure that’s even one of those things that — I don’t know — that you’re supposed to do?” 

“But, I’m talking about, like, Ginsberg. Plath. Frost. Short stories from the New Yorker. Atwood.”

“You can’t just read, you know, normal baby things, huh?”

“All we’re going to be able to do once they understand what we’re reading is read nursery rhymes and Dr. Seuss. Let me enjoy something exciting while I still have the time.” 

“What, you’re not a big fan of Fox in Socks? What about Guess How Much I Love You? The Very Hungry Caterpillar?”

“Rory, come on, I’m serious.” 

“Yeah, me, too!”

For a moment, they just stare at each other. I love you, she thinks again, less surprising every time she tastes the words on the tip of her tongue, but she’s still biting them back. Jess has let her take the lead for everything else, she wants to give him this one. Instead, she decides on, “Oh, my god, you’re impossible.” He smiles first, though, and she is quick to return it. “But fine, yes, okay. If the thing you want the most is to start introducing this baby to American beat poets early, then I suppose I won’t stop you.” 

They start with Frost — “He still rhymes, you know,” Rory teases him as he pages through his worn copy of Mountain Interval to find what he’s looking for — but Jess has only made it through the first few lines of “Birches” before Rory finds herself nodding off, both exhausted and lulled by Jess’ reading voice: 

“When I see birches bend to left and right

Across the lines of straighter darker trees,

I like to think some boy's been swinging them.

But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay

As ice-storms do. Often you must have seen them

Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning

After a rain. They click upon themselves

As the breeze rises, and turn many-colored

As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.”

But even with Rory’s eyes closing, with her quickly approaching unconsciousness, he doesn’t stop. He even goes back to his work for a while after the second poem, letting her sleep soundly next to him on the couch until he finds himself unable to keep his eyes open, and he rouses her only to move her to the bed. 

 After a week of Frost, next comes is Plath: “The Moon and the Yew Tree,” “Letter in November,” “The Munich Mannequins.” Unlike Frost, though, Plath does not put Rory to sleep. 

 For a few days, he reads pieces of a story from the New Yorker called “The Largesse of the Sea Maiden” — a piece that he was, ironically, supposed to write a review for but hadn’t yet found the time to focus on enough. Rory doesn’t particularly like it, but she does feel the little person inside her more often when Jess reads, though it’s not to a point where he can feel it yet, even with his and pressed against the taut skin of her stomach. 

 And then, finally, Rory lets him start Ginsberg. “A Supermarket in California” — “What thoughts I have of you tonight, Walt Whitman, for I walked down the streets under the trees with a headache self-conscious looking at the full moon.” Somehow, it just works so beautifully with his voice, really makes her feel Ginsberg in a way she never had before. In a way she never really needed to, honestly, but one that she certainly isn’t upset about. 

“Cia Dope Calypso”: “In nineteen hundred forty-nine / China was won by Mao Tse-tung / Chiang Kai Shek's army ran away. / They were waiting there in Thailand yesterday. Supported by the CIA. Pushing junk down Thailand way.” 

“Cosmopolitan Greetings” — Rory’s favorite, if she ever needed to have one — “Stand up against governments, against God. Stay irresponsible. Say only what we know & imagine. Absolutes are Coercion. Change is absolute.” 

It’s a week before she lets him break out Howl — and she doesn’t tell him right away, but she can already feel the baby ready itself for their almost-nightly poetry slam, as if they already know what is about to happen. She made him agree that they would split Howl into three nights, three sections, the way it is supposed to be, but that doesn’t stop the hypnosis that takes over as soon as he cracks the book open. 

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, / dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix, / angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night, / who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,” he says, his voice picking up every syllable as if he wrote the words himself, and Rory is caught. 

There’s no going back now, either with Ginsberg or with Jess. 

“... who were expelled from the academies for crazy & publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull…”

“... who chained themselves to subways for the endless ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine until the noise of wheels and children brought them down shuddering mouth-wracked and battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance in the drear light of Zoo…”

“... who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving behind nothing but the shadow of dungarees and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago…” 

“... who wept at the romance of the streets with their pushcarts full of onions and bad music, who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts, who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded by orange crates of theology…” 

“... who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of the subway window, jumped in the filthy Passaic, leaped on negroes, cried all over the street, danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed phonograph records of nostalgic European 1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and threw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans in their ears and the blast of colossal steamwhistles…” 

And then, it happened. 

One kick. Jess isn’t even sure that’s what he felt. 

“... who barreled down the highways of the past journeying to each other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude watch or Birmingham jazz incarnation, who drove cross country seventy two hours to find out if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had a vision to find out Eternity,…” 

Another. Okay, he’s more sure now. Especially as it happens again.

“... who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes—” 

“I don’t know, Jess,” Rory says, stopping him from continuing, and though he isn’t sure why she stopped, he’s very sure that what he’s now feeling is the movement of the baby. “I think maybe they like Ginsberg as much as you do.” 

But his mind just keeps going back to that last line he read. Instead of responding, he reads it again: “who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who came back to Denver & waited in vain, who watched over Denver & brooded & loned in Denver and finally went away to find out the Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,” — and, yes, the baby kicks again. 

An almost-violent movement, pushing some of the skin of Rory’s stomach around with the movement, but she doesn’t seem to care, her attention focused solely on the smile that continues to spread wider across his face. 

“Not only that,” he says, setting the book spine-up on the arm of the couch so he can run the fingers of his other hand through Rory’s hair, not daring to move his hand from the spot that the baby seems to be targeting, “But I think they may have just chosen their name, too.” 

“What? Allen? Certainly not Ginsberg, that’s how you destin a child for a life of torture—” 

“No, no, none of those,” he says, shaking his head. “Besides, I may have a feeling that it’s a boy, but that doesn’t mean the name choice needs to be so certain.” 

“Jess, just tell me what you’re thinking.” 

“Denver.” 

Surprisingly — really, he certainly didn’t expect it to happen again — he feels the push against his hand, the movement of the baby just as he says it. 

“Denver,” she repeats — and they do it again. 

She smiles. “Do you need to finish reading the poem, or can you just kiss me now?” 

WEEK 30 

“So, Rory, can you tell us about Denver?” She’s actually a little surprised that the question comes from Miss Patty and not from the prying mind of Emily Gilmore. “How did you guys come up with the name?” 

Of course, she had the thought a moment too soon, and this is when her grandmother decided to speak up: “How they picked a name without even knowing the gender is beyond me.” 

“Mom,” Lorelai says, turning towards Emily with her eyes wide. 

Jess rolls his eyes, doesn’t even try to hide it from the other guests at the shower. 

Lane laughs from her seat on the other side of Rory. 

“It’s from a poem,” Rory says, trying to ignore everything else going on around her, her hand on Jess’ knee. 

“Now there’s a surprise.” This time, it’s Paris with the sarcastic comment. 

“A famous poem?” Liz asks from across the room, where Jess was sure that she wasn’t actually paying attention, sitting on her cell phone. He’s surprised, but thankful that she actually seems to care. 

“Depends on who you ask,” Jess says truthfully. 

“You guys can’t just pick a normal name from a normal poem, can you?” Paris asks — and this time, Rory rolls her eyes. 

“Why, what’s the poem?” Luke asks, his patience cut short by the collection of women (plus Christopher, who everyone knows is far from his favorite person) around him. 

“It’s called Howl,” Jess answers. 

Paris scoffs. 

Jess rolls his eyes. 

“Seriously, Gilmore?” Paris asks, completely ignoring Jess’ pointed glare. 

“What?” Emily and Rory ask at the same time, but in very different tones. “Is there something wrong with that poem?” Emily asks, already judging Jess before she’s even given the answer. 

“No,” Rory and Jess say together. 

Paris rolls her eyes. “I wish I was surprised.” 

“Lorelai,” Emily scoffs, turning to her daughter as if there is something she can do in this situation. 

“What? What could I possibly do that would make you happy about this? They’ve already picked out the name.” 

“It’s just not the most appropriate for children, that’s all,” Paris adds, possibly seeing that argument that she almost started. 

“What, you expect me to start reading nursery rhymes before the kid can even understand what I’m saying? I would think you would be smart enough to know that’s wrong, Gellar.” 

“Maybe I’ll just start calling you Ginsberg.” 

“What does that mean?” Emily asks, either trying and failing to whisper to Lorelai, or knowing exactly how loud her voice is.

“It’s the poet, grandma,” Rory answers. 

"Maybe you should just read us the poem, honey," Liz suggests, rather unhelpfully. 

"Good idea," Like agrees. 

"That's a terrible idea," Paris (unhelpfully) argues. 

"Well, is it long?" Michel finally speaks up, simply enjoying the banter from the sidelines to this point. 

"It's published as a novel," Rory tells them all. 

Jess, of course, has to argue for Ginsberg. "Yeah, but not, like, a full-length novel." 

"That doesn't mean you need to read it at the baby shower," Lane agrees. 

"You're naming your child after this poem, the least you could do is share it with us," Emily argues.

And that's how Jess wound up reading all of Part One of Howl at the baby shower. 

When he's done, no one speaks for a moment. 

Emily is, of course, the first to speak. "Well, that was awful." 

"Mom!" "Grandma!" 

"I mean, she's not wrong," Luke — unhelpfully — agrees. 

"For once, I agree with the man," Michel — unhelpfully — adds. 

Thankfully (Rory supposes), that's the most chaotic part of the shower. 

 As people start leaving, Luke pulls Jess aside away from the crowd, stopping from loading the new gifts into the trucks parked by the side door to the Inn. 

"What are you doing?" He seems angry, which confuses Jess. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Why haven't you asked her to move in with you yet?"

Jess is, to say the least, a little flabbergasted. "Is that what you want?" 

"Come on, Jess, you know this isn't about me. It's about you, it's about her, and it's about this baby." 

"I mean, she hasn't said anything about it." 

"Listen, I know you're letting her take the lead on everything, but sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith." 

Jess runs his hand through his hair — a little shorter than it's been recently, at Rory's request. He's only gotten compliments about it in the two weeks since it's happened, though, so he's assuming Rory isn't the only one who prefers it this way.

She's the only one that matters, though. She always has been. 

"What if she doesn't want to? If she thinks it's too much?" He almost doesn't ask the question — because it really is the main reason he hasn't asked her yet, despite all the times he's wanted to. The fear of denial. 

Luke almost laughs. "Then she'll continue to spend every night with you above the restaurant while still refusing to believe that she's not really living with us anymore." 

Jess contemplates this for a moment, silent. It's not that he doesn't want her to move in, doesn't want to raise the baby together, hopefully affording something more exciting than the apartment over the restaurant in the near future. 

Is it really what's best for the baby? 

"It would be easier to take everything there now than to have to move it all later," Luke comments, then slides his hat back over his slowly-greying hair. "I'll just leave you with that thought." 

But there's nothing more for Jess to think about, looking across the room to where Rory is standing between her mother and Paris, a smile spread over her face and her hands over her growing stomach. 

In just a few large strides, he crosses the room, pausing for a moment to let Sookie snap a picture of them with Lorelai's cell phone. "Rory, can I ask you something?" he asks, gesturing for her to walk with him. 

Smiling, she nods. "Of course. What's up?" 

He just goes for it. Rips off the band-aid in one fell swoop, or something like that. 

"I think it would be easier if we just took all of Denver's stuff to the apartment." 

"But there's more room for it at the house." She doesn't pick up on what he's trying to say. (He's not really surprised.) 

"We can make room for it." 

"But why?" 

"It would be much easier to just have everything in one place, don't you think?" 

"Some of my stuff is at the house, though." 

"Then we move what you need to the apartment, too." 

Finally — finally — she seems to understand, a huge smile spread across her face once the realization gets to her. 

"Yeah, okay," she says cooly, trying to hold herself together.

[archivestoriescrafted]

MUSE INFO   —   LORELAI VICTORIA GILMORE.

formerly found at: lorelaithesecond && infinitebabbler.

all information outlined below is based in the latest possible information,  and can vary by verse.  some of it is headcanon based,  and has developed over the last 2+ years of me writing lorelai.  anything noted with a * is based on personal headcanons.

FACECLAIM(s):  lauren graham,  joey king,  raffey cassidy,  &&  kaya scodelario. PLACE OF BIRTH:  hartford,  connecticut. CURRENT RESIDENCE:  stars hollow,  connecticut. DATE OF BIRTH:  april 26th, 1968;  age  —  50. HEIGHT:  5′8″ EYE COLOR:  blue. HAIR COLOR:  brown. PARENTS:   richard gilmore  (father,  deceased).   emily gilmore  (mother).   SPOUSE:  christopher hayden (divorced),  luke danes. CHILDREN:   lorelai ‘rory’ leigh gilmore. EDUCATION:   ged,  harford business college. PAST OCCUPATIONS:  maid,  front desk manager,  executive manager;  independence inn. CURRENT OCCUPATION:  co-owner,  executive manager;  dragonfly inn. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  heterosexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  heteroromantic.

IMPORTANT CANON RELATIONSHIPS:  rory gilmore (daughter),  mia bass (friend, maternal figure),  luke danes (husband),  emily gilmore (mother),  richard gilmore (father),  sookie st. james (best friend, business partner),  michel gerard (friend, co-worker),  christopher hayden (childhood love, ex-husband),  max medina (ex-fiance),  jason stiles (childhood friend, ex-boyfriend),  alex lesman (ex-boyfriend),  lorelai ‘trix’ gilmore (grandmother),  jess mariano (they’re friends and i’ll fight everyone on this, nephew by marriage),  doula danes (niece by marriage),  april nardini (step-daughter),  babette & morey dell (next-door-neighbors),  kirk gleason (basically her son-figure tbh),  the entire town of stars hollow (friends).

IMPORTANT PORTRAYAL BASED RELATIONSHIPS:  josh lyman (childhood best friend, sometimes boyfriend, @gcsticulatingwildly​),  maggie rhee (apocalypse bud, @gritblood; exclusive to twd au).

her daughter,  rory,  was born when lorelai was 16.

at 17,  lorelai left hartford with rory,  and they ended up in stars hollow.  cut off contact with everyone from her ‘past life’ at this point.

was taken in by mia bass,  owner of the independence inn,  who gave lorelai a job,  and a place to live.

worked her way up from maid to executive manager over 10 years.

at 26,  lorelai bought an actual house in stars hollow,  and became more participant in town events.

undiagnosed,  but on the autism spectrum*.

until the age of 32,  lorelai only visited her parents for holidays.  when rory began private school,  lorelai had to borrow money for tuition,  and as a condition of the loan began attending friday night dinners.

at 32,  she dated && became engaged to rory’s teacher, max medina, though she called the wedding off.

bitter about the fact that she’s never won the stars hollow 24 hour dance contest,  and regularly comes in second place (this is super important ok shh).

coffee and junk food enthusiast.  a source of contention with local diner owner,  on-and-off boyfriend, and eventual husband luke danes.

talented seamstress / generally great at art.

idk there’s a Lot i’ll add more later but this is all that seems even semi important right now?

VERSES UNDER THE CUT!

childhood!

a verse that encompasses lorelai’s childhood,  from ages 5-12.  fcs:  joey king & raffey cassidy.

teen!

a verse that encompasses lorelai’s teenage years,  from ages 12-19.  fcs:  raffey cassidy & kara scodelario.

pre series!

a verse encompassing anything that occurs before the show begins.  fcs:  kaya scodelario & lauren graham.

main 001!

a verse encompassing seasons 1 to 7 of gilmore girls,  default main verse.  fc:  lauren graham.

pre revival!

this verse encompasses anything that occurs post seasons 1-7 of gilmore girls, but before the revival. tends to be somewhat canon divergent.  fc:  lauren graham.

revival!

this verse encompasses anything that occurs during gilmore girls: a year in the life,  though i’ll only use it on request,  as i’m Mad about a lot of things.  fc:  lauren graham.

post series au!

a verse that diverges from ‘canon’ following season 7,  and contains some divergences from s7,  to be elaborated on later.  link to post will be added once added.  main verse for post series interactions.  fc: lauren graham.

hogwarts au!

lorelai comes from a long line of pureblood slytherins, so it’s certainly no surprise when she’s also sorted into slytherin. she’s always been ambitious, with a sharp wit, though she feels like a bit of an outsider among her housemates. fcs: raffey cassidy & kaya scodelario.

stranger things!

the gilmore family are among the more elite in hawkins, but that doesn’t mean their daughter’s any less bored living in such a small town. she doesn’t care for the high-class life, choosing rather to spend the majority of her time at the arcade, or listening to the latest music. rebelling is her forte, and lorelai can often be found sneaking out at night, getting into any trouble she can to make her life more interesting. of course, there are whispers of strange things happening around town, and she’s determined to learn more. ages: 15 -17.  fcs:  raffey cassidy & kaya scodelario.

au w/ struckstars!

a verse in which luke and lorelai meet soon after lorelai moves to stars hollow, and fall for each other almost immediately. within months, they’ve moved in together, and within two years they’re engaged and expecting a kid of their own.  private w/ struckstars.  fc:  kara scodelario.

the walking dead!

things aren’t great in the beginning. how can they be, when the world’s falling apart around you? when friends and loved ones are dropping like flies, only to rise again and try and eat you. lorelai gilmore has always preferred to keep horror inside the movies, thank you very much. at first she refuses to accept the new reality of the world —- no one really knows what’s going on, anyway, so maybe it’ll all be fixed soon enough. it doesn’t take long, though, to realize that it’s not going to be fixed. and a small town like stars hollow? while safer than most, it isn’t going to be secure forever. so a small group sets out: lorelai, luke, rory, a few able bodied others with a desire to seek out someplace safer. but it’s no secret the gilmore girls have never been those for ‘roughing it’, and without the promise of a lasting supply of coffee, or even a decent sized wardrobe, it’s a wonder either is able to survive for long. months pass, their numbers dwindle, and the small group crosses paths with another in virginia. while lorelai’s begun to truly adapt to the realities of the world now that it’s practically ruled by the undead, it’s soon made clear that she’s got nothing on this new group of survivors, but maybe they’ve got plenty to teach. with danger lurking around every corner, it doesn’t seem like it’s ever too late to learn.  fc:  lauren graham.

au 001!

early 1984,  she’s not even 16 yet,  but things are changing quickly.  it doesn’t take long to realize she’s pregnant once her jeans start feeling a little tighter,  and the constant sick feeling sets in whenever she’s in a room with a woman wearing too much perfume   (   she’ll insist that’s always been the case,  particularly with her mother’s favored chanel number five,  but….  never to this degree   ).  

she begins to plan the moment she finally convinces herself to look at the test she’d bought only moments prior at a drugstore several miles from hartford   (   she can’t take it at home,  or anywhere nearby  —  people talk in hartford,  and she knows there are those in her mother’s employ who go through the garbage,  so she can’t risk it   ).   she can’t stick around.  her parents barely tolerate her as it is,  and christopher’s parents rarely try to mask their blatant distaste.  she’s different.  she always has been,  and she knows it.  maybe she’d dreamed of going to yale once,  but those dreams had faded a long time ago.  it’s not what she wants.  she’s smart,  sure,  she could get in.  even without her family’s name backing her up,  she could get in.  but now she wants to even less than she had before.  it’s like a weight is lifted from her shoulders the moment the decision’s made.

she slips away in the evening,  a week later,  while her parents are out.  with two suitcases packed with her favorite clothes,  and a backpack filled with the allowances she’s saved up for years,  she’s ready for independence.  she finds it in a little town:  stars hollow.  she finds a job,  a home,  a woman who treats her more like a daughter than her parents ever did.  several months later,  she gives birth to a daughter and she knows she’d made the right choice.  her life is full,  her heart is full,  and while things are hard,  lorelai never once looks back.

[falkenscreen]

Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is better than everything else that’s out now, so let’s talk about it.

The show, still deservedly a favourite among very many, has a conspicuous and especial place in the lives of many a Gilly, this author no less. Having watched the now classic (non-sequentially) following its release, when I was just a few years shy of Rory, I returned to it in 2019 to watch it the whole way through, now a few years shy of Lorelai.

The difference in perspective, and all that which still resonates to boot, is astounding.

Somehow the ending wasn’t ruined for me, nor A Year in the Life which we’ll get to later. I’m far from the first guy to write about or fall madly in love with Gilmore Girls and if you’re not listening to Kevin T. Porter’s and Demi Adejuyigbe’s Gilmore Guys then you’re really missing out. Take these as the reflections of a most ardent fan who came to the show relatively afresh, did a Luke, went all in and found something that still sets a standard in scripting, character-building and female-driven storytelling, for which we are sorely lacking and still so grateful to Amy.  

Spoilers herein for Gilmore Girls and A Year in the Life and, just so it’s out of the way; Jess, obviously. Dean quickly became a one-note boyfriend (who cheats), Logan (yes he did grow as a person) never near actively enough supported Rory in furthering her aspirations unlike others around her and Jess was the only partner who both held a candle to her intellectually and didn’t let Rory coast on her least forgiving qualities. I’m not counting Marty.

First thing’s first – story and plot. More often forgotten than not, they’re two different things. Gilmore Girls, as it was hurriedly pitch in a last ditch attempt to sell a show to the network, is about a mother and daughter who are more like best friends. Whenever it’s just the pair interacting the show was at its far and above best and never got tiring, not once, and was never as strong when Yale split them up or the revival, atypically and so consequentially, chose to see Rory and Lorelai apart for whole stretches.

Exceptionally cast, as good as Alexis Bledel was its Lauren Graham who ultimately drove the show and she never gets near enough credit for her nuanced portrayal of one of the most complex characters in modern television. Just look at the wordless despair, affection and resolve that passes across her eyes in the seconds before she steels herself for the proposal and season 5 cliff-hanger. Ask yourself how many performers can achieve such a range of emotion without dialogue in so few beats; there are few.

Significantly, mother and daughter besties are actually not what the show is about. What’s really going on is the tragedy of intergenerational disharmony as the mother who rejected her wealthy upbringing for a more regular life sees her daughter in turn rebel against her for the elite world she abandoned. With story and plot elements as strong as this, there was much to work with.

The spectre of a 16 year old Lorelai with a little bundle rocking up on the porch of the Independence Inn pleading for any job hangs over the show’s entire run. There’s been a fair few critiques over the years that Gilmore Girls is elitist or insular for its focus on small-town Connecticut which for many who haven’t been there can appear like a privileged haven.

Gilmore Girls is more accurately about a young woman and mother who didn’t get the support she needed from her family and set out to make a life where she wasn’t reliant on anyone but herself. The show, thankfully absent hackneyed flashbacks to supplement a narrative which didn’t need padding out, did however proffer us one glimpse into Lorelai’s early years establishing that Richard, amidst a great disdain for what was then very scandalous, insisted Lorelai marry the useless Christopher.

Anyone who thinks Lorelai’s circumstance or Rory’s for that matter reflects a privileged position needs to check it and on the matter of Connecticut there are many families who arrived there far from being a Richard or Emily, this author’s included; it being as diverse a place as the show’s myriad of characters suggests.

Now to Rory. Many (most) viewers were disappointed in the arc she undertakes and continues well into A Year in the Life. Yes it’s frustrating when you see characters you love take paths you’d rather they didn’t (those hoping for a happier end to Jaime’s story can relate) but her simply being on this trajectory as disappointing as it is isn’t a fair criticism of the show in and of itself and is one it has been unreasonably burdened with. For those who hate to see elitist Rory, it bears acknowledging the subtle parallel the series draws with Lorelai’s own (if more widely relatable) snobbery; think just how many times she judged or forewarned of someone simply for their being rich.

Those who were sad to not see Rory (or Lorelai) grow in key respects at least until the very end of season 7 point to this as a flaw in the series. This mistakes however the important distinction, one drawn as rarely as between story and plot, as regards character building and character growth. For the volumes we come to learn about Rory and Lorelai they conversely (and uncommonly for a character-driven series and moreover one of this length) don’t grow very much. We may not like it but hey, it’s a fact of life and often people don’t change, sometimes even after 10 years. It’s an unusual, dramatically refreshing theme befitting a drama and yes, Gilmore Girls is a drama. Like The West Wing given the volume of dialogue and hilarity it remains funnier than most comedies yet is still at the core a coming of age drama.

It is a nominally rare thing to see sustained character growth in this most distinct of series, later rendering Emily’s arc in the four most recent instalments all the more resonant. When Lorelai cautions Lane in season seven (the only era of the show when overwrought story beats infamously overtook character-driven drama) that she had best prepare for a circumstance where Lane’s children embrace the religiosity Lane rejected, it could fairly be highlighted as an unnecessary meta intrusion or an annoying ‘state the moral’ moment. It is however one of the only occasions emblematic of explicit character growth, coinciding as it happens with Rory having to contend with her most consequential instance of professional rejection. For being distinctive it resonated all the stronger in a series that would rather grow its characters and their world than the characters themselves; in modern terms a relatively novel and here welcomely idiosyncratic approach to storytelling emphasising bittersweet and very relatable aspects of our lives and interpersonal relationships.

The realm of Star’s Hollow being invested with a great deal more personality than most fictional settings, Lorelai and Rory’s narratives notably ground to a halt in Summer to see a musical tableaux of the town. If admittedly outstaying the welcome, it was a nice opportunity to say a farewell to the only significant character herein which didn’t get any dialogue. An affectionate ode throughout to small town life, it was well to remind us that every stop on the highway has a Taylor and Kirk, though rarely ones so lively and repeatedly entertaining; even if Kirk towards the end did go over the top.

Who never went over the top was Melissa McCarthy; it being a special pleasure to see her in pre-mega fame mode sharing her best moments alongside Yanic Truesdale, as well as a few hints at the more exaggerated roles she would later take on in some of Sookie’s most strident moments. The pop culture references were too a joy for any junkie; with the show (take note modern cinema) graciously never skipping whole beats to let one-liners or hark backs sink in, instead trusting that we’d get it or appreciate the resonance nonetheless.

This was conversely one of the flaws of A Year in the Life; but for allusions to Game of Thrones and a couple of other tidbits there wasn’t much acknowledgement in the scripting choices that this world had aged at all. There still being the ‘no cell phones’ sign in Luke’s after all these years, as fond a recall as it is, was just too much a stretch; on par with the infamous Game of Thrones-esque (yes Gilmore Girls did it first) roll credits moment when Rory delivers her manuscript.

For all its flaws and clustered cameos the addendums did however bring back Jason Stiles for a dignified farewell. A character very short-changed by his series’ conclusion (and lack thereof), when written out there was never a sense of closure like that proffered his contemporaries which fans indeed got ten years later.

And this brings us to the much touted ‘last four words.’ “Mum,” “Yes,” “I’m pregnant.”

It’s both a lacklustre and exceptional end in respects. Sure it would have had more of the intended resonance those ten years ago when Rory, mirroring Lorelai’s earlier experience, found herself at a stage of her life still yet to realise many of her goals that a newborn child would then and here implicitly affect. It still bears its impact but like much of A Year in the Life’s recurrent storytelling and character motifs it doesn’t resonate as desired and as it would have that era ago within a world and set of people who have now inevitably aged.

The theme and consequences of unplanned pregnancies has also already been widely explored in the series between the experiences of Lorelai, Christopher, Lane and, most unnecessarily, Luke. It’s far from improbable that any one or all of these figures, including Rory, would experience an unplanned pregnancy, yet when it came to introducing April the familiar story beats had already been well played out, as distinct from the more intimate and procedural arc with which Lane’s pregnancy is treated.

Rory’s announcement does however reflect the core theme of the series in children and parents, despite intentions and efforts made, replicating their forebear’s cycles. Despite it being foreshadowed that Logan is the father, he being evidently modelled on Christopher, here the show does not go for a bittersweet note but a heartfelt, cautionary one. As the series repeatedly reminds us, it’s far from unfortunate that children have similar experiences to their parents, or indeed that families continue to procreate. It’s just that, as when Rory dropped out of Yale, whatever happens in children’s lives may or very likely will still happen in spite of anything and everything a parent may want or try, and we’re all just along for the ride.

A Year in the Life’s highs and lows notwithstanding, it was well worth the hours to spend that much more time with our girls and loved ones (the most hilarious Paris’ return was probably the highlight) as it was over so many months and years. If you’re craving the qualities and depth that so much modern storytelling is so lacking, look no further.

Gilmore Girls is now streaming on Netflix

[kitgilmore]

TWO // I WILL FOLLOW.

"So you're just leaving," Thomas said, Thomas Knight was her piano partner, on more than one occasion they had been forced together during a concert, and sure he was a great piano player and often kept up with her, but he was also a minute man. Track to be more specific. Thomas was typically handsome they kind of guy when his hobbies are described you think sure that sounds right. It wasn't in until one night both high from the spring recital, the two shared a very heated kiss that Kit began to notice the finer details about Mr Knight that he could quote blade runner backwards or how he always smelt like the ocean, that he hated being called Tommy. Beginning the first romance of Kit Gilmore, as her mother had grown to call it, short as it was only lasting 3 months before they both agreed, their professional relationship was far more interesting.

"I'm moving school, Thomas not countries, I'll promise you'll survive." She told him, grabbing the notebook, textbooks, an old sweater and makeup bag out of her locker and dumping them into the box the tall boy was holding.

"Yeah I know" he replied, Kit just raised her eyebrows at him trying to be cool, slamming the red rusted door shut for the last time. She tried to take the box from him but he just shook her head and motioned her forward.

"I'll still be around for Miss Patty and recitals and we can even do that Christmas Hanukkah Winter medley you were talking about the other night," she told him as they walked down the hall and out the door, Kit turned when she heard the sound of her sister's voice.

"30 Minutes with traffic." Rory was walking towards the town centre with the new boy, Kit remembered someone mentioning he moved here from Chicago during her French class.

"Okay, then I guess it alright that you're leaving," Thomas said, returning her attention to the dark haired boy beside her she sniggered, wondered if he heard what he just said.

"Thank you, kind sir, for your permission, how will I ever repay you." Kit said with extreme gestures.

He just shook his head at his friend and the two of them made their way towards her house.

❊❊❊❊

That night, at Luke's dinner the three of them we're all picking their food, Kit was worried about her cello audition, about catching up in her classes, while Rory was now unsure whether she wanted to move schools and Their mother, her big secret was, that she'd asked her parents for the money to pay the tuition of the girls new school.

"I forgot to tell you both, that we're having dinner tomorrow night at your grandparent's house," Lorelai told them, breaking them out their own thoughts the twins exchanged a look.

"We are?" Kit asked

"Mhmm" she replied before taking a sip of coffee.

"But, it's September," Rory asked her.

"So"

"So, there are no national holidays in September, expect National fortune cookie day but i don’t think grandma knows that." Kit told them with a smile, taking a sip of her own.

"Look, it's not a holiday thing. It's just dinner, okay?" Their mother told them.

"Fine, sorry," Rory told her sheepishly.

Luke brought their burgers to the tables and conversation stopped, pulling the check of the pad he said "Red meat can kill you. Enjoy."

"So, I finished hemming your skirts today"

"Thanks, mom" Kit said as she started to enjoy her food, while her sister was stabbing her burger with her folk.

"A grunt of acknowledgment might be nice," Lorelai said, directed at Rory.

"I don't understand why we're going to dinner tomorrow night. I mean, what if I had plans? You didn't even ask me." Kit couldn't help but snort at her sister's words which earned her a slide glance, boy her sister was in a mood tonight.

"Well, if you had plans I would have known." their mother said completely missing the point Rory was trying to make.

"How?"

"Well, you would have told me." She stated

"I don't tell you everything. I have my own things." Rory snapped back.

"Fine, you have things".

"That's right. I have things."

"Hey. I had dibs on being the bitch tonight" Their mother said, Kit watched as she took a breath and tried to calm herself it was a habit Kit herself had picked up, I didn't always work.

"Just tonight" Rory muttered.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kit joined raising her voice slightly.

"I'm not sure I want to go to Chilton," Rory told them, her eyes refused to catch theirs.

"What?" Kit roared, where had this come from.

"The timing is just really bad." She began to explain.

"The timing is bad?" Lorelai repeated.

"And the bus ride to and from Hartford, it's like thirty minutes each way."

"I can't believe what I'm hearing."

"Plus, I don't think we should be spending that money right now. I mean, I know Chilton's got to be costing you a lot."

"Oh, you have no idea." Their mother said Kit knew it was a loaded statement but was too shocked by her sisters change in attitude.

"All of your money should be going toward buying an inn with Sookie."

"Except the part that's paying for me to go to Chilton because I'm still going". Kit said turning to her sister who just let out a breath.

"What about college? What about Harvard?"

"We don't know that I can't get into Harvard if I stay where I am, you don't even want to go Harvard." she said to her sister.

"You don't have enough diversity for that, and maybe I don't but how about I take your spot." Kit retorted.

"Okay, enough. Enough of the crazy talk, okay? I appreciate your concern but I have this covered."

"I still don't want to go." She said with a huff.

"Why?"

"Because I don't."

"Rory!" Kit exclaimed.

"I have to get out of here," Lorelai explained, getting up from her sit in the dinner and starts to leave, Kit followed after her opening the door into the cool night streets.

"We have to pay first," Rory stated as if that was the problem.

As they walked home in silence they saw, Lane on her awkward hayride date, sandwiched between two Korean boys, when they reached Miss Patty's dance studio, Kit was recreating not finishing her dinner.

One-two-three. One-two-three. One-two-three. It's a waltz, ladies. Susie, do you have to tinkle? Then uncross your legs, darling.

"Oh, Rory, good. I think I found a job for your male friend." Miss Patty said standing the door way, light silhouetting her, as she smokes a cigarette, looking as fabulous as every.

"What male friend?" Lorelai asked, and now Kit understood. STUPID LEATHER JACKET BOY.!

"They need a stock boy at the supermarket. I already talked to Taylor Doose about him. You just send him around tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks."

"What male friend?"

"Oh, he's very cute. You have good taste."

Miss Patty turned back to her dance class she said.

"Hands in the air, not in the nose"

For someone who wasn't athletic Rory sure moved fast, Kit was so mad at her sister, maybe it was more disappointment than anger. Why would she do this?

"Oh, you're gonna have to walk faster than that. You're gonna have to turn into friggin' Flo Jo to get away from me."

Once they reached their house Rory walk in and slams the door, not caring that her mother and sister were behind her.

"This is about a boy, of course. I can't believe I didn't see it. All this talk about money and bus rides. You got a thing going with a guy and you don't want to leave school." The mother said as she walked through the house into the living room, normally if one twin was arguing with their mother the other was stay out of it but this was the exception.

"I'm going to bed."

"God, I'm so dense. That should have been my first thought. After all, you're me."

"I'm not you," Rory said gathering her book bag from the sofa.

"Er yeah you are, turning in to some high school cliche, throwing away your future for a boy, that doesn't sound like my sister." Kit said, before turning to her mother and saying "No offences."

"Whatever."

"So who is he?"

"There's no guy!"

"Dark hair, romantic eyes? Looks a little dangerous?"

"No.. His move the boy next door type right?" Kit said.

"This conversation is over."

"Tattoos are good, too!"

"I don't want to change schools because of all the reasons I've already told you a thousand times. If you don't want to believe me, that's fine. Goodnight.." Rory closed her bedroom door, their mother continued.

"Does he have a motorcycle? 'Cause if you're gonna throw your life away, he better has a motorcycle!"

"He was carrying her books." Kit scoffed her eyes widen before she shook her head. "I have to go figure out what piece I'm going to play for my audition at.. Chilton". she said a little too loud, her mother kissed her forehead before she followed Rory into her room.

"Well, I think that went pretty well, don't you?" "Thanks for the knock."

Once in her room Kit kicked off her boots, pulled out her journal from her book bag, before she began to shuffle through her closest looking for an appropriate dress for dinner at her grandparents.

All three Gilmore's were standing outside their grandparents house, They were all nervous, not Kit so much she liked her grandparents, she didn't think that they were unrealisable for them to want, Lorelai and Christopher to get married then they got pregnant at 16 but also understood why that was the choice her parents took. In the end, she went with a peace blouse and black shirt, tights and ballet flats.

"So, do we go in or do we just stand here reenacting The Little Match Girl?" Rory said she was still sulking, about Chilton.

"Rory, stop."

"Okay, look, I know you and me are having a thing here and I know you hate me but I need you to be civil, at least for dinner and then on the way home you can pull a Menendez. Deal?"

"Fine."

"You guys are ridiculous" Kit breathed out as she rang the door bell, and her grandmother opens the door right away. Kit wondered if she heard the conversation they previously had and blushed slightly in embarrassment.

"Hi, Grandma," The twins said in unison.

"Well, you're right on time." Their grandmother said as she leads them through the door into the foyer.

"Yeah, yeah, no traffic at all," Lorelai explained as she took off her coat, looking for a place to throw away her coffee cup.

"I can't tell you what a treat it is to have you girls here." Their grandmother looked nothing but elegant with her silk blouse and pearls, she took the girls coats and hung them up.

"Oh, well, we're excited, too." Kit said, she didn't feel the same discomfort regarding her the 'Gilmores' that her sister had, he mother had her own reasons but in Kit's eyes her grandparents had always been nothing but kind and generous to the twins.

"Is that a collector's cup or can I throw it away for you?" Emily comment.

"Oh." Lorelai begins to toss her empty coffee cup into the trash can located next to the door frame. Kit wondered what if would ever be used for.

"In the kitchen, please" her grandmother retorted, before turning to the twins and saying.

"So, I want to hear all about Chilton."

"Well, we haven't actually started yet." Kit said as walked the twins through the house, through the hall way and into one of many sitting rooms in the Gilmore's grand Hartford home.

"Richard, look who's here."

"Rory, Kit.... You're tall." their grandfather said looking up from their paper to view the twins properly, both girls were the hair down so it framed their face, the blue sweater Rory was wearing brought out her eyes. Kit had convinced her to add some blush to her usual makeup.

"I guess," Rory said, Kit looked at her grandfather and thought he was adorable.

"Well, what's your height?"

" 5'7"." the girls said again in union

“That's tall. The girls are tall." he said to himself and their grandmother, Kit didn't think that she had grown that much since Easter but maybe they had.

"Hi, dad," Lorelai said, entering the room behind them.

"Lorelai, your daughter's are tall."

"Oh, I know. It's freakish. We're thinking of having them studied at M.I.T." Kit shook her head slightly she knew she mother was nervous, her witty commentary was proof of that.

"Ah" he responded slightly deflated.

"Champagne, anyone?" Emily asked, bringing a silver tray, with crystal glasses, each of the girls took one.

"Oh, that's fancy." Kit said.

"Well, it's not every day that I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open," Emily said slightly bitter.

"A toast - to entering Chilton and an exciting new phase in your lives."

"Here, here. " Both Kit and Richard said together, Kit smiled, before she sipped her champagne, oh how sweet those bubbles are.

"Mmm. Well, let's sit everyone." Rory sat next to her grandfather, while Kit took the seat next to her grandmother, taking another sip of her drink.

"This is just wonderful. An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family."

"I couldn't agree more grandma" Kit said looking at her sister, who quietly looked down.

"And pie," Lorelai said, and no one laughed.

"Joke, joke."

"Ah," Emily said, Kit finished her champagne, as her grandfather handed Rory a section of the paper.

An hour later the Gilmore family was seated around the dining table, candle light filled the room as they ate of china plates. Rory sat next to her sister, opposite their mother.

"Rory do you like the lamb?" Emily asked her granddaughter trying to fill the silence with polite conversation.

"It's good". Rory answered taking another bite.

"Too dry"

"No, it's perfect."

"Kit?" Emily turns her attention towards her youngest grandchild.

"Lamb's my favourite grandma, the gravy is wonderful."

"Potatoes could use a little salt, though." Their mother commented. Kit just tilted her head as if to say was that really necessary.

"Excuse me?"

"So, Grandpa, how's the insurance business?" Rory asked and Kit was thankful for her sister's good timing.

"Oh, people die, we pay. People crash cars, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay." he said sounding rather crass. Kit just continued to eat her dinner, it really was rather delicious.

"Well, at least you have your new slogan."

"And how are things at the motel?" Richard grumbled at his daughter, Kit could feel the tension that was building in the dining room.

"The inn? They're great." Lorelai said proudly, hating that she had to remind him of her career path.

"Lorelai's the executive manager now. Isn't that wonderful?" Emily said, both the twins smiled at their grandmother as she gushed over her daughter's success.

"Speaking of which, Christopher called yesterday," Richard stated, taking a sip of his red wine.

"Speaking of which? How is that a speaking of which?" the conversation of the twins Father was slightly awkward one, their mother never denied them their father, and every time she spoke of him or saw him there was nothing but love and warmth.

"He's doing very well in California. His Internet start-up goes public next month. This could mean big things for him." Richards returned before turning to the girls.

"Very talented man, your father."

"He's also got a new motorcycle" Kit said under her breath. Kit had a stronger bond with her father than Rory did, the two of them talked all the time at least once a fortnight, he was more honest with her than with her sister. They were both wanderers, wanting to try lots of things before deciding what they wanted, what they liked.

"They know." Their mother said slightly more angry than before.

"He always was a smart one, that boy," he said "You girls must take after him." added quickly, "Speaking of which, I'm gonna get a Coke....Or a knife." their mother said leaving the table, after a minute Emily went after her while the twins and their grandfather sat in awkward silence, the conversation behind the wall a little too loud to be private, started out well enough with her grandmother trying to calm down her daughter but soon took a turn.

Why would he bring up Christopher? Was that really necessary? He likes Christopher. Isn't that interesting? Because, as I remember, when Christopher got me pregnant, Dad didn't like him so much. Oh, well, please, you were sixteen. What were we supposed to do - throw you a party? We were disappointed. The two of you had such bright futures. Yes. And by not getting married we got to keep those bright futures. When you get pregnant, you get married. A child needs a mother and a father. Oh, Mom. Do you think that Christopher would have his own company right now if we'd gotten married? Do you think he would be anything at all? Yes, I do. Your father would have put him in the insurance business and you'd be living a lovely life right now. He didn't want to be in the insurance business and I am living a lovely life right now. That's right, far away from us. Oh, here we go. You took those girls and completely shut us out of your life. You wanted to control me. You were still a child. I stopped being a child the minute the strip turned pink, okay? I had to figure out how to live. I found a good job. As a maid. With all your brains and talent. I worked my way up. I run the place now. I built a life on my own with no help from anyone. Yes, and think of where you would have been if you'd accepted a little help, hmm? And where the girls would have been. But no, you were always too proud to accept anything from anyone. Well, I wasn't too proud to come here to you two begging for money for my kids' school, was I?

The Twins exchanged a look at that piece of information, Kit saw a look on Rory face that she knew meant she changed her mind about Chilton, knowing how difficult it must have been for their mother to ask her parents for the money to provide an education for her children. After saying goodbye to their grandmother, they walked out the door.

"Mom?" Kit said as they stood outside in the doorway

"I'm okay. I just. .do I look shorter? 'Cause I feel shorter." she joked, leaning her head on the shoulder of her youngest.

"Hey, how 'bout I buy you a cup of coffee?" Rory said pulling her coat to stay warm or because she was nervous about the upcoming conversation she knew she needed to have. "

"Oh, yeah. You drive, though, okay, 'cause I don't think my feet will reach the pedals.”

Kit drove them back to Stars Hollow, parking at the house before they took off towards Luke's

"So, nice dinner at the grandparents' house," Rory said breaking the tension.

"Oh, yeah, her dishes have never been cleaner." the mother replied.

"You and Grandma seemed to have a nice talk." Kit asked nudging her mother slightly.

"How much did you hear?" she asked her children.

"Not much," Rory said

"Snippets," said Kit.

"Snippets?" Raising her eyebrows, the three of them stood in the doorway of Luke's this was becoming a habit of this evening.

"Little snippets."

"So basically everything?"

"Basically," Kit said opening the door.

"Well, the best-laid plans." the mother said taking off her coat and sitting down.

"I think it was really brave of you to ask them for money," Rory told her.

"Completely" Kit added.

"Oh, I so do not want to talk about it." she dismissed.

"How many meals is it gonna take 'til we're off the hook?" Kit asked.

"I think the deli spread at my funeral will be the last one." Lorelai looked at her eldest daughter who just smiled.

"Hey, wait, does that mean..."

"Can't let a perfectly good plaid skirt go to waste." she smiled.

"oh.. We're private school girls." Kit exclaimed, raising her eyebrows suggestively at the sister, who sniggered in response.

"Oh, honey, you won't be sorry."

Just then Luke Danes arrived at the table both Kit and her mother had to do a double take, instead of his usual backward baseball cap and plaid shirt, he was wearing slacks and a blue collared shirt.

"Wow, you look nice. Really nice." Their mother commented.

"I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. ... You look nice, too." The twins exchanged a look, both laughing lightly.

"I had a flagellation to go to."

"So, what'll you have?" he asked the table.

"Coffee, in a vat."

"I'll have coffee also. And chili fries." Rory ordered.

“Yes coffee and do you have any pie, cherry maybe." Kit asked.

"That's quite a refined palate you got there." he said before walking away.

"Behold the healing powers of a bath....So, tell me about the guy?" Lorelai asked Rory.

"You know what's really special about our relationship? The total understanding about the need for one's privacy. I mean, you really understand boundaries."

"So tell me about the guy."

"Mom!"

"Is he dreamy?" Rory blushed while Kit just nodded slightly.

"Oh, that's so Nick at Night."

"Well, I'm gonna find out anyway."

"Really? How?"

"I'll spy. Kit will tell me" she said as if it was the most obvious thing.

Minutes later Luke returned with their order

"Coffee. .fries... pie"

"Thank you, kind sir." Kit spoke politely.

"...I can't stand it. This is so unhealthy. Girls, please, put down that cup of coffee. You do not want to grow up to be like your mom." Luke commented look at the twins who smiled at each other.

"Sorry, too late." The twins answered before tucking into their food.

[darklingichor]

Gilmore Girls Season Two: Ep. 1&2

I was so pissed by the end of the last season that the only thing that made me want to watch the next one was that I got a new TV. I have really liked the way the show looks. Stars Hollow is really pretty. So, I figured even if I get pissed it will be nice to look at.

The first episode was good. I know Luke is supposed to be being a bit of a jerk by bringing up all of the things Lorelai and Max don’t know about each other, but he does make a point! Never been engaged, but isn’t “Where are we going to live?” a discussion that takes place in a relationship before you decide to tie yourself to someone legally?

I will say this, it is amazing how much better the chemistry is between Lorelai and Max is when they aren’t talking about why their relationship is a bad idea. I actually liked Max talking Lorelai down when she was freaking out. I liked the easy back and forth between Max and Rory. Don’t get me wrong, I think there still should have been a “Heyyy, yeah, I really shouldn’t have tried to make points by butting into your private life at the end of First Period. That’s really more of a Lunch Break chat” conversation. I guess, like all of the M&L relationship development, it took place off screen.

Rory and Dean are back to being cute, which is a nice reprieve, as was Emily actually being pleasant.

Of course a pleasant evening at the Gilmore mansion can’t happen often so we have Richard being a jerk to Dean and then getting angry at Rory for sticking up for her boyfriend.

You know Richard must be angry when Emily is the voice of reason.

I get the whole “Flashback” thing, from a writing perspective. Of course he’s going to get upset. “My daughter got pregnant at 16. Now my granddaughter is 16. She has a boyfriend, therefore she will get pregnant” it’s fiction logic.

Fiction logic works most of the time. Like how Monica can illegally sublet her grandmother’s apartment for over a decade or how Indiana Jones can survive falling from a plane in a lifeboat. However,if you think about it, Richard ragging on Dean for being an average student and not being Ivy League bound makes no sense. Christopher was poised to go to Princeton. All of his grades and potential didn’t keep his swimmers from hitting the egg. Was it just because Dean looks a little like a teenage Christopher? Well, if that was the problem, the fact that Dean doesn’t have a wrecked convertible and glowing transcripts should have tipped him off that this particular teenage boy is not the teenage boy from 1984 Connecticut that knocked up his daughter.

I felt a little bad for Emily when Sookie told her about Lorelai’s engagement. She realized that she and Richard have alienated their daughter to the point that she didn’t tell them about a huge milestone.

Wonder how long this will last. I also wonder how long Dean and Rory will remain cute. I like them cute, but I might miss Asshat Dean.

Can we talk about Lane? What the fuck is going on?!

I would say that she was being an overreacting teenager but it really does seem like they are shipping her out of the country! Anyone else find it weird that Mrs. Kim seems happy about sending her away?

Jeez, if you didn’t want a teenager you shouldn’t have had a kid! Babies turn into teenagers and do stupid things before they become adults and you can marry them off. It’s sort of biology.

This is a strange storyline and to be honest, even if the whole main cast turn into Screech from Saved by the Bell I will keep watching to find out where it goes.

The second episode. Still good.

I liked Lorelai and Max’s engagement party. I like that they did the bitter-sweet part with Luke coming to the party. The joke of him sitting next the little kids dressed as brides was great.

Again, Max and Lorelai are much better now that they’re actually talking to each other where we can see it. Incredible, it is almost as if TV is a visual medium!

Max’s parents sound adorable. Can Sookie and Jackson move next door to them because they sound like the wacky neighbors that a Sookie and Jackson show needs! Their interaction at the party was so cute

I liked that Richard apologized to Rory. In that vein, I think I get Richard and Emily now. They can apologize to anyone, except Lorelai. And they can accept an apology from anyone but Lorelai. Must be a rich character thing. First generation descendants only get one shot and if they fuck up, that’s it. Forever after they must always be aware of the disappointment they are. Eventually, she’ll thank us…you know after we give her a stroke.

I LOVED Lorelai confronting Emily!

Also, apparently being faced with the consequences of her own jackass behavior makes Emily cranky. And who could blame her? Self righteousness is probably what she uses in place of face cream. That moment of introspection almost gave her crow’s feet!

Fuck, I completely understand Lorelai’s explanation to why she didn’t want to tell her. If a person smacks a dog every they come close then they end up with a dog who won’t come to them. People can be the same way. Emily has been verbally smacking Lorelai for her whole life so she doesn’t willingly go to her.

I did like that they sort of start to negotiate about how to build a bridge. The way things are going though, she’s going to get pissed about Lorelai’s choice of dress and that’s going to bring up the fight about the debutante ball and that will lead to a discussion about what a failure Lorelai’s existence is. The material for the bridge will be burned before the contractor can gas up their truck for pick up.

Please, Gilmore Girls, prove me wrong.

Rory and Dean are still cool. They’re talking things out after having a fairly normal argument, it works.

Good start for season two.