#lord save meeeeeeee

[seiwas]

@soumies @sashimiyas

pov onigiri miya sponsors a beach volleyball tournament

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyy... would you like some pretty t-dick art? :3

CAS!!!!!! YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES AND YES🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[2leggedshark]

I'm really bored and cannot stop thinking about things I shouldntttttt lord save meeeeeeee

[m3nyas]

idk how its possible to have ur stomach so achey your legs feel fucked up for the entire day idk if its nicotine hangover or just plain bad eating but lord ill never do it again if you just heal me tonight i will go on a cleanse SAVE MEEEEEEEE

[uweiy]

Lin Yu & Anderson Cheng content (Love is Science?)

If you want to watch Love is Science? content in these dire times and you don't speak mandarin, I highly recommend xuemaojiao's channel (Tumblr user @autumnsxxangel) where they've translated some of Lin Yu and Anderson Cheng's lives as well as some interviews and behind the scenes :

Lives

• 210518 Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) IG live part 1

• 210518 Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) IG live part 2

• 210528 Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) IG live

• 210615 Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) IG live

Interview/Variety :

• Love is Science? cast NewShowBiz interview

• Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) Top Movie Picks Interview pt.1

• Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) Top Movie Picks Interview pt.2

• Lin Yu(林禹) & Anderson Cheng(鄭暐達) Dice game

Behind the scenes :

•Ep 1 / Ep 2/ Ep 3/Ep 4/ Ep 5/ Ep 6/ Ep 7/ Ep 8/ Ep 9/ Ep 10

• End Credits Behind the Scenes

• Character Photoshoot Behind the Scenes

• Joanna & Mark cas scene Behind the Scenes

[charlotte--kensington]

Guess who is starting a new thing because she totally doesn't have like 5 WIPs anyway? Meeeeeeee

Anyway, this will have multiple parts, but aside from some minor stuff there's no true chronological order I'm planning or anything.

"You can't seriously expect to keep me here."

The expression of complete and utter annoyance that adorned the face of the God of Death was one to behold. His eyes followed the movement of the deity beyond the set of bars separating them, but his arms remained where they were, folded across his chest as he stared the other down.

There was a mirthful smile on that sun-kissed face, a glint of mischief as the God of Spring eyed him with a mix of interest and marvel and pride, a combination that brought about naught but hybris, that had brought about the demise of Icarus and Bellerophon alike. A slight smirk played around his lips, and the eyes of the caged god narrowed farther yet.

"And why should I not? You have neither escaped nor tried to, have you?"

He continued his path along the living cage that had sprung up around the God of Death by virtue of the other's power alone. Bright blue eyes and wheat-blond hair, tanned skin and the muscles of a man, a God, who spent each and every day on the field and in the gardens.

The picture of a simple man, and yet he'd managed to trap the Lord of the Underworld so easily.

"As long as you are here, why should I expect anything less than for you to stay?"

The God of Death grit his teeth, fists tight around the trunks of what should have been decade-old olive trees, when really that living and growing cage that surrounded him had sprung up in a matter of seconds. A wide canopy of leaves had formed above him, a soft blanket of daisies and violets beneath his feet.

And yet, nothing was as pretty as it seemed.

He was trapped, at the mercy of a young, impulsive god, cut off from any source of power as the cage kept him bound to the mortal realm and as deep-running roots separated him from the black earth and the minerals it held.

He was bound, the King of the Dead trapped above ground as though all his power and subjects had lost value.

"Somebody will notice," he replied at last, "Somebody will notice, and when they do, they will apprehend you, foolish God-"

"Alfred."

The God of Spring had interrupted him, uncaring for his words or the danger they told of.

"Call me Alfred."

"Why should I, we're not-"

The God of Spring - Alfred - rolled his eyes, taking a step closer to that cage that had grown upon his wish, with little more than the wave of a hand and a wish on his lips. He reached out for him, a tanned, calloused hand reaching through the branches as though to caress his cheek.

At the last second the God of Death retreated.

Something flashed across the other god's face, but he couldn't quite name whatever emotion it was.

"You'll be here for a while," the other insisted after he'd regained himself. "I'll be the only one for you to talk to, so you might as well save both of us the time of using titles. So what will it be, Arthur?"

Arthur, God of Death, Ruler of the Dead, King of the third realm, had never been a devotee of making things easy, much preferred order and structure over the simplicity of chaos. He frowned, trying to force the other deity to join his subjects by virtue of his expression - the proverbial death glare - alone.

"It's funny of you to assume I'd wish to talk to you at all," he retorted curtly, "I live among the dead, it's not like I make a habit of talking to them either."

"And yet you talk to me."

Arthur folded his arms, leant back against the trees that formed the back of that little bit of green he was confined in, lips pressed together in a fine line as he remained silent.

The other god merely laughed.

"Is the silent treatment really how you want to convince me to release you?" Alfred questioned, still snickering to himself, as he charmed a small ivy tendril to climb up the stem of one of the trees, snaking around the stem and the branches and higher yet.

"Guess I'll just have to decorate your new home with sunflowers and daisies all over."

"Don't you dare."

"Oh, you bet I will."

[loneswaggingranger]

Imma be that cringe post gushing about how good-looking people look good because I think the cheat code to my attraction radar is basically razor-cut jawlines + soulful piercing eyes.

Here, let's play spot the pattern.

Exhibit A: Henry Cavill

(we all know this guy. just look at him??? See how his jawline can basically cut diamonds? Those lilting blue eyes? Right now from a brazen "watch all the henry yt content you can" crisis so um. yeah person good look good also. )

Exhibit B: Zendaya

(her smile!!!! her dimples!!!! her smile accentuates her jawline!!!!!! i like sharp jaws clearly- no srsly this woman can rock any style and make it hers obviously cz um Fashion Award Icon at 25??)

Exhibit C: Keira Knightley

(my forever lizzie, but also can I please dive straight into those beautiful eyes and all the period pieces that they star in)

Exhibit D: Xue Bayi (薛八一)

(boy has STUNNING eyes what can I say, like the SOUL in those gorgeous orbs help me im drowning)

Exhibit E: Tom Hiddleston

(I mean, are you a marvel fan if you haven't melted when Loki popped on screen at least once? eyes, jaw, silky sultry voice, beautiful actor um)

Exhibit F: Xiao Zhan (肖战)

(lord save me from pretty faces and playful head tilts GOD - featured here playing the VERY iconic Weiying in the Untamed he's just beautiful ok)

Exhibit G: V, BTS (Taehyung)

(I don't even listen to that much kpop, I just saw the guy and went, yeap, that's some solid bone structure and his voice is just 👌👌)

Exhibit H: Anya Chalotra (hhheeeeeellllllpppppp meeeeeeee, another head tilt but this time with a totally opposite vibe - sharp jaw and menancing slicing eyes)

Exhibit I: Wang Ke (王柯) (captivating drummer with great stage presence but ALSO look at her smirky smile!!!! Again, the jaw!!!! the eyes that know that her team played well ahhhhhhh the amount of screenshots I have of this lady in my album im not a stalker i swear)

Exhibit J: Mike Faist

(again the solid bone structure, happy tucked in dimples, naturally handsome smile I think my tastes are getting ridiculously predictable and you get the idea but HE LOOKS GOOD. AND HE ACTS GOOD. AND SINGS GOOD. AND DANCE GOOD. mike faist good.)

Like we all know these people are talented, skillful in their trade, worked hard to get to where they are, but also why do they look so darn great???? ... or am I just attracted to carbon prints of the same features with slight variations on the diversion scale.

...who knowsssss,,,,,,

[yet-another-jjba-imagines-blog]

HCs of Bruno's gang falling in love with a fem teammate who saved their life, please! (Welcome to the community ❤❤❤❤)

As always, than ya for the warm welcome, dear! Now let us continue.

Bruno:

-This gorgeous fallen angel brought him back from the fuckin brink you can bet yer ass he’s gonna do everything in his gotdamn power to repay her and then some.

- Like, are you in trouble during battle? Zip zip bitch now you’ve been teleported to a nearby hiding place to recover. Are you extensively injured after a fight? Swoop swoop he’s carrying you to the ER.

- Don’t even try to protest against it he’ll just quietly sush you then give ya a lil smoochy-smooch and then take you to cuddle or somethin.

Abbacchio:

- “Wtf why’d you do that I had it under control.” “Abba you were shot five times.” 

- Starts really showing concern for her well being during missions tho. He WILL NOT let her do inspections of suspicious activity. (“Hmm what’s going on with this pressure valve? Lemme take a closer look.” “NO YOU GET YOUR ASS RIGHT BACK HERE BY ME. Have Giorno do it.”)

- If she says something about it he’ll be all like “What? The hell you talking about? I’m not protective I just don’t wanna clean up the mess if you die. butiloveyoupleasedon’tdoanythingstupidok.”

Mista:

- “Oh dear Lord above thank you for creating this gorgeous being that has saved my life I’d do fucking anything for her.”

- Not only does he become incredibly protective, but he also practically starts to wait on her hand and foot. (“Oh I’m getting kinda thirsty I think I’ll grab some water fr-” And he immediately just like fuckin makes a mad dash for the kitchen. “Tap or filter, principessa? Would you like ice or a dash of lemon? OH SHIT WAIT WE DON’T HAVE LEMONS! DON’T WORRY, I’LL GO OUT AND GRAB SOME, CARO!”)

- Protest? He’ll either just ignore it or just - put a finger on her lips and be like “I’d fucking die for you amore.” With a smile on his lips.

Narancia: 

- “Oh my god. OHGMY G o D YO Ur’e a fUCkInG SAI N T? WhaT d  iiiiD  I dO     tO DeseRVE YOU?”

- Starts hanging around her A LOT more. Very close. Very attached. Like, attached at the hip kinda close. Always happy to see her and practically starts bawling if she goes on a mission without her, with the typical leg grabbing. She has to drag him for like a good thirty feet or so before he lets go. (”Y-you better come back a-alive or-or! Or no kisses for a week!” “Narancia I can’t kiss you at all if I’m dead.” “Don’t remind meeeeeeee!!!”)

- He’ll basically insist on paying whenever you go out. Even sometimes suggests going to the more expensive places. (“Hey you wanna go out and get some gelato with me?” “Oh yeah sure! Which place!” “That one downtown with the cool designs on the windows!” “...Doesn’t that place charge like, 10,000 lire for a single scoop?” “Yeah but don’t worry I’m paying!”)

Fugo:

- “Why do I feel so weird about this? We’re in the mafia, we save each others’ lives all the time...”

- Doesn’t change so much in outward behavior as his thoughts. He imagines what kissing her would be like, thinks about them watching the stars from the roof, that kinda stuff. But he will subconsciously become more affectionate. More subtle touches here and there, hugs last longer, etc.

- It takes him a while to tell her how he’s feeling, and when he does, he flounders about it BIG TIME. But he’s hella sweet about it and gets flowers and all that.

Giorno: 

- “That was... so sweet of her... to do that for me... but why did she do it?”

- He observes her more. Watches and analyzes each of her actions. Provides through this he can pinpoint how she’s feeling and act accordingly to make her as happy as he possibly can. Makes lots of animal friends for her.

- A very affectionate boy. Huggles, smooches, hand holding are all to be expected both in private and public. He becomes very VERY protective of her. And will do whatever possible to enact justice if someone hurts her.

[queennicoleinboots]

Mr. Thor, Murphee, and Joebear React to a video Peter Parker Made Called "Fuck This House", part 2

--------------------------------------

(continuation of Joebear's reaction)

I was laughing, falling on the ground, and beating the floor with my fist. He was filming me.

Joebear cracked up. "Gee bae. You lost your mind," he said.

I was howling with laughter because I still found it funny Peter fell off the roof that day.

"I was screaming in pain. But they were laughing. Everything I do is a fucking joke!" Peter said loudly.

I was snickering, lying on my back, kicking my heels, and clutching my stomach. Scheudenfreude was real.

Scheudenfreude was still real. I continued to laugh at the video and Peter Parker.

He pointed the camera to the woodburning stove his parents had in the corner. "Anyway, onto my parents' woodburning stove. Very nice, but I have to clean the thing. No one else cleans it so I have to clean it! I-I-I gotta get the brushes. Clean this shit out!!! All the fucking time because the creole builds up and it could cause a fire. Sigh. I gotta go on the roof again. I gotta live on the roof. Brush out the shit!" Peter was making dramatic faces at the camera.

Joebear laughed and said, "Mhm!!!'

Peter took a deep breath before continuing to rant. "Assemble the brush, go down the chimney, be Santa Claus!!!!" He was imitating using the brush with the hand that wasn't holding the phone camera. "I look like I'm jacking off or something Jesus Christ!!! It's a lot of work! Everything is work! It's nice it's nice but it's a lot of work!" Peter sounded like Smeagull from Lord of the Rings when he said "but it's a lot of work!"

I laughed again off and on the video.

"MONEY AND LABOR AND BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS AND AGGRAVATION AND STRESS AND IRRITATION!" Peter screamed into the camera.

I laughed on and off the camera again. Laughing at Peter was my purpose in life.

"Wanna see my parents' kitchen?!" Peter asked with a smile as he showed the camera his parents' kitchen. "Here's where we eat... when we actually DO eat. It's rare that I eat with my parents I have to work most of the goddamn time anyway. Ha! Ha! And my mom wants to redo the kitchen! Why?! I'm trying to fix the God-forsaken gutter outside! I-I can't win! It's-It's-It's always something!!!! You go from one project to another, especially in my goddamn house. This is my life when I'm not at work. I get to fuck around with this fucking place! I want to kick something right now!" Peter spoke loudly.

I really cracked up then off and on the video. Joebear chuckled.

"FUCK THIS HOUSE! REALLY!!!!" Peter screamed into the phone with eyes that couldn't get any wider if they tried. "I'd rather live in a cardboard box somewhere out in the middle of Atlanta!!! I hate the system! I don't want to pay into it, ANYMORE!!!! I don't give a shit! Give me a cardboard box and a glass of water and I'm happy!"

I was crying as I was laughing off and on the video. Joebear was howling with laughter.

"Let's go in here! Let's go in here! Let's go in my part of the house where I broke all my ceiling fans and have blades coming out every which way because I was an ape!!!" Peter screamed.

I was cracking up and trying to catch my breath on the video .

"Haha. He never took the ceiling fan blades out of the wall, did he? Ahhehe!!!" Joebear said with a laugh.

"Nope. He hates his house and the ceiling fans," I said.

"...I hate this shit. I'm 7'4" and I get whacked by my fucking ceiling every goddamn day. I have to look at this bullshit every single day. I hate it. We just recently replaced my toilet because it somehow broke. Low flow bullshit toilet. Gotta flush the thing two times to get even a piece of toilet paper down," Peter continued to rant.

"Three if you're a bear," Joebear said with a bear growl.

I giggled at the growl.

"Low flow toilets don't save water. That's another bullshit lie they tell you. The water company saves money. You have to pay to fix the flusher from overuse. The PLUMBERS MAKE MONEY!!!! The Chinese invented these toilets. Again, fuck them. There is no water shortage anywhere. That's another bullshit lie they tell you so that they can charge more for your water bill. It's all bullshit," Peter continued to rant.

I was perpetually chuckling and agreeing with what he was saying on and off the video.

"Very true," Joebear said. Kissy, our one-year-old orange cat, came up to sit in Joebear's lap.

"We had to go to three home depots to fix the several issues this piece of shit house has and has had since the nightmarish day I fucking moved here. And we all know what Home Depot is like. Let me get into that!!! My parents spent $15,000 on this furniture, repairs, and services. Jesus. My parents bought more furniture from Ikea. GUESS WHO HAD TO PUT IT TOGETHER?!" Peter said with a dramatic hand gesture. "MEEEEEEEE!!!!" Peter was singing through his big smile.

I was snickering hardcore in the background.

I continued to snicker in real life.

"Ugh. I hate Home Depot fuck Home Depot," Joebear said.

"...when I found my desk in Grayson, I kidnapped an old woman and made her refurbish it..." Peter explained before showing the camera the indentation of where he slams his fist on said desk every single solitary fucking morning, afternoon, and evening.

Joebear whined before he laughed. "Ahhehe!!! Jeez! Peter destroyed that desk. Then again, one of my gaming mice is through the wall," Joebear said. It was true. One of Joe's old mice's cord was hanging from the back wall. Kissy sometimes jumps up to play with the cord.

Peter continued, "I gave her $2, and of course I spill coffee all over it every chance I can."

Peter is a funny, mental mess. I couldn't help but continually chuckle on and off the video.

"What a jackass," Joebear said. "You are silly, bae!"

"It's a nice desk, but it's a lot of work. A lot of time. I have a regular fireplace," Peter said as he showed the camera his normal fireplace. "But when you aren't using it. You have to make sure it's closed or a squirrel will come in like Christmas vacation."

"It's true. He was one of my brethren who came to troll you that day, Peter," I said on the video.

"Oh God. Yes. You were a squirrel in your previous life. Jesus," Peter said.

"I remember! Meanwhile, I was a warthog in my past life!" Joebear announced.

"Hoohoo yes BaeWhuhh. I remember," I said before I chirped in squirrel language.

Peter showed the camera the front of the house. "Sigh. More toilets. More grass. Ughhhhh!!! It just never ends!!! It's work! You never have a day to yourself. Every day my parents want me to do something just to keep up with the house!!!!! And I say YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! I can't take-YOU KNOW WHAT?!!! My parents are doing whatever! They need a yard person that's why I say fuck this house!!!! I'm leaving right now. Let them deal with it. I don't give a shit. They don't even thank me. Unappreciative old fucks. I hate them. I hate this house. I hate the Chinese."

Joebear and I laughed.

Peter walked out of his house, and I followed him. "I'm just going to walk out of here. I'm going to walk until I don't feel like walking anymore. Fuck this house. Fuck everybody. Let them deal with it!!! Let the grass grow. Let the house explode. I don't give a shit. I'm just gonna walk."

The video ended with Peter walking away from his house.

Joebear laughed. "Ahhehe!! Wooooooowwwww!!! He's fucked up!!!" Joebear continued to laugh. "NoBODY's gonna help him!"

"Yeah I know!!! I have watched it four times, and it is still fucking hilarious," I said with a laugh and a big fart.

"Hoowoo!!! We have to show this video to everyone at the meeting tomorrow," Joebear said.

"Why not? Everyone at that meeting has severe mental issues. They won't even be phased by Peter screaming through half of it," Kissy said.

"True, Kissy, you beautiful bitch," I said as Joebear and I pet her.

Joebear and I burst out fucking laughing.

She purred.

[tormentedbythirst]

Dream job?

Game tester maybe.

Favourite subject at school?

I had a genuine connection with my history teacher, who also did psychology so...

What sports do you play / have played?

Hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahah

How tall are you?

5'6

Do you have any pets?

I used to. TvT Bonkers was my chillaxed cat. Mia was my terrier chow mix, dignified af.

What are your hobbies?

Gaming, writing, daydreaming

Where were you born?

Under a blood red moon

Any special talents?

Sure, everyone has special talents.

Scary movies or happy endings?

........eehhhhh.......depends on the quality tbh

What’s your eye color?

Brown. :(

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Smash or pass. Hot or not. Clothing.

Do you have kids?

1 named Stormaggadon Dark Lord of All Dorian.

Are you named after someone?

My father's mother (first name) and my aunt (middle name)

When was the last time you cried?

Before xmas

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Meeeeeeee? Noooooooo.

@songofproserpine @lonelywanderingstars @wholelottagin @castiel-saved-me-from-myself and whoever else is still active on this hellsite. I was tagged by @the-kryomancer

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 22.01.18 lb

ugh let’s get this shitshow on the road. at this point, entertainment kam, homework waali feeling zyaada aati hai.

shivaay, bruh you srsly need to get over your fucking parivaaar already. like focus on omru, and that’s it. the rest of them can choke. they don’t deserve this kinda commitment from you. just ignore them enough and they’ll fucking go away. like prinku. 🙃🙃🙃

ok don’t even get me started on the “hum dono ek saath hai” nonsense. meeting you was the worst thing that could have ever happened to this girl. if only i could “kuch samay pehle” all back to june 2016, and prevented you two from ever crossing paths. 😑😑😑

OMFG SVETLANA HI I MISSED YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE WHAT A GORJUSS COME HERE 😍😍😍

shariffudddinnn!!!! looks confused and perplexed. as per usual. bro you’ve made a career of NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, whether it be in the mughal era, or in present-day “chennai”. by now you should be used to it.

“tu karne kya waali hai?”

tu.... meaning veer is bade bhaiyya? hmm... 

lololol also loving their sibling-ly fist bump. i guess veer is svetlana’s sibling of choice. tia who?

these two take their dushmani so seriously that they have a special framed photu of the ppl they hate to glare at. nafrat ho toh aisi! 😚😚😚

ugh not here for dadi’s nonsense. fwding!

UGH ANIKA KA YEH BEDSHEET WAALA OUTFIT. BURN IT ON THE LOHRI BONFIRE PLZ. 🤢🤢🤢

where’s om? i don’t wanna stare at these two chilgozas.

ugh ok this scene is getting on my nerves, fucking FWD!!!

....  no srsly what’s the deal with them stressing heavily on bhavya’s lack of family these days.... i feel like it’s foreshadowing that she’s the third nafratbaaz sister and is kinda dropping hints that the oberois fucked her over, family-wise. 🤔🤔🤔

coz my heart eternally hopes that sumo is eventually gonna come back to save rudra’s ass and ruMya is end game.

BTW WHERE THE F IS SUMO????? SHE WAS LIKE “GONNA SEE A FRIEND, BRB” AND HASN’T BEEN SEEN FOR OVER A WEEK. SOMEONE FUCKING LOOK INTO IT???? 😣😣😣😣😫😫😫😫

oh. police. 😬😬😬

waah, goa police is as nikkami as mumbai police. good to know standards are maintained all over the country in these matters. 😌😌😌

meanwhile the murder sibs are staring down at... komal?? is that her name??? a veryyyy dead komal.

who btw, has zero nishaan of a person who DROWNED to death. or indeed any of the signs of being dead. her corpse has better skin than my bloody zinda body fml. 😓😓😓

lmao veer is typical domineering bade bhaiyya who’s like just shut up and work. and svetlana is typical bratty younger sister who is rolling her eyes in bg. i think these two might be my new brotp for the show. 😆😆😆😆

this police officer looks like discount sukhwinder singh no?

ok anika’s mental health is at the fucking brink and it is breaking my fuckingggggg heart. this girl needs extensive therapy. like... MASSIVE amounts of it. 😣😣😣

shivaay is suuper excited to introduce dadi to his crush. i haven’t seen him this enthu about ANY relationship in his life ever, till date.

dude no really i need some vital stats on nikitin dheer, coz he looks THE MOUNTAIN (from GOT) type massive. is he that gigantic, or is nakuul just that miniscule????? I NEED ANSWERS. GIVE ME DIMENSIONS FOR BOTH MEN, DOWN TO THE LAST CM. 😫😫😫

pfffffffft rudra thinking that bhavya’s talking about him. lord just give me 1% of his confidence.

gauri be like idk man i don’t see it. my hubs is more normal proportioned and hotter.

pft gauri, she’s getting married, not entering the convent. she’s still allowed to appreciate beauty where she sees it. taj mahal apne desh mein hai toh kya hum eiffel tower ko khoobsurat na bulaayein?

“woh samosa thodi hai jo HOT HOT keh rahi ho.”

lmaooooo gauri. 😂😂😂

also i am 86% certain that given the choice between a shirtless om and a samosa, she’d pick the latter. 😋😋😋

bhavyaaaaa is meeeeeeee. #1 creeper when it comes to beautiful ppl (irrespective of gender and/or mauke ki nazaakat. hot hai matlab hot hai. 😚😚😚)

rudra you’re not really kaabil-e-tareef. esp. compared to dr. veer here.

LMAO I AM REALLY LOVING BHAVYA’S APPRECIATIVE FACES 😆😆😆

hahaha awwww the bhaabis and their hausla-afzaai of rudra. so cute.

lmao bhavya reallllllllllllllly getting carried away with the thirstttttt. never has her character been more relatable to me. ever 🤤🤤🤤🤤

khee khee khee anika and gauri’s smirks and giggles.

snort. bhavya really rubbing it in. i love it. it’s the least she can do after all the crap rudra put her through.

aaaand rudra is being an idiot again.

rudra just got bumped up to the top of shariffuddin!!!!!’s murder list.

wow for once, shivaay is holding one of his brothers accountable for bad behaviour. sun rose in the west, pigs flying, etc.

BUT BUT BUT BHAABI-MOM TO THE RESCUE!!!! 😧😧😧

lmao “main bhaabi ka bhai hoon.” *tiniest tentative step in her direction*

lol i can’t get over how mad shivaay is rn. anika should def. feel a little threatened by this crush of his.

lololol anika frustratedly blaming her freudian slip on rudra. 😆😆😆

snort ruvya finally decide to go check out handsome hunk TOGETHER. now that’s a relationship goal. someone to check out hot ppl with together. find yourself a freak like that. 🙃🙃🙃

“haryana ka sher” lololololol bande ka confidence toh dekho. i like it.

i really like bhavya’s skirt.

snort, bhavya be like BITCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH OF A PERV I AM, CONSIDER THIS YOUR OFFICIAL NOTICE. 😎😎😎😎

my god rudra is the most persistent and annoying little brat.

waaah, shivaay has dhol playing skillz also. matlab, is there no end to his talents? what next, does he also do crochet?

ugh karwachauth waale kapde repeat kar diye. what a gareeb production house this is. 🙄🙄🙄

who are all these rando guests???? like, shivaay and anika literally know nobody here other than veeer and fam????

OMFG KHANNA AND CHUBBY ARE HERE TOOOOO HIIII YOU GUYS OMG I MISSED YOUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭

snortttttttt, dadi calling her bahuein “patola”, and gauri’s reaction:

ALSO OMG MY GIRLSSSSSSSS. TOGETHERRRRRRR. LOOKING SO GOOD AND SYNCHRONIZED AND OH MY HEARTTTT *clutches chest* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

WHEN WILL I GET THE DAMN ANIRI TRACK LORDDDDDDDDD. 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 I JUST NEED TO WATCH THAT AND I CAN GET MY CLOSURE AND QUIT THIS FUCKING SHOWWWWW

god shivika, get a damn room. lookin at each other with such gandiiiiiiii nazrein out here, pffffft. 😏😏😏😏😏

lolllllllll anika trying to bring gauri into this whole thing but apni chirraiyya be like PLZ DON’T INVOLVE ME IN YOUR WEIRD KINKS. 😆😆😆

yupppp. moving outta that fucking hellhole has def. worked wonders for these two and their boinking. 12/10, recommend. (ARE YOU LISTENING RIKARA????? GET YO OWN DAMN PLACE AND GO TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 📢📢📢📢📢📢)

[rottingmelon]

god help me

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz lb: 2 - 6th january

i thought i’d be all caught up and back on schedule by now, but somehow i find myself behind by more than a week’s worth of episodes again. oh well.

maybe this week’s my week. in the mean time, here’s the second installation of liveblogs.

2nd january

preview: whut the whut???? is shivaay drunk again? is he dreaming this? is anika dreaming this? am *I* dreaming this???? 😯😯😯

lmao these three sisters are rudra's nightmare come alive; the bhaabi he never wanted, HIS FATHER'S MISTRESS, and the cult leader who kidnapped him. 😂😂😂

this bloody house and family is so fucking big, they should implement whatever technology uber implements in its cars, to keep track of what family member is where. 😒😒😒

rudra's denim shirt/trackpants outfit is pushing the limit on "athleisure" methinks. 😕😕😕

GOD DADI YOU AND YOUR SCREECHING. JUST... SHUSH.

they should really get someone else to dub for the dadi actress, coz her voice. lord above. 😬😬😬

oh no shivaay thinks anika's playing. 😟😟😟

dadi looks downright horrified at the thought. dadi, it's ok. it's how billu and biwi do foreplay. stay out of their sex life.  🙄🙄🙄

lololololol the fridge is about to start ringing.  😂😂😂

give it up tia. you're not gonna win.  🙄🙄🙄

FIGURE IT OUT FASTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.  😑😑😑

lmaooooo "bhaabi fridge main kaisi pohunchi???"  😂😂😂

there's a sentence no one ever plans to say in their life. ever. 😂😂😂

PLEASE NOTICE THE FACE OF THE FRIDGE MOVING DUDE. ZERO REACTION. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR HIM. he must move a lot of rich ppl's fridges with bahus in them. 😐😐😐

i was like "ok she's cold but not THAT cold that you need a bonfire in MUMBAI" before i realised tht this was a prinku scene.  😶😶😶

ok, acp is like... RIGHT UP in their damn group now, and no one's like "who's this weird, fully grown man who's appeared out of nowhere and staring intently at one of our friends? 🤔🤔🤔"

what the hell does he even want??? 😒😒😒

yes priyanka, leave the group and isolate yourself, while you're being stalked. that's the smart thing to do right now. for fucks sake, this chick has the survival instincts of a fucking dodo. 😒😒😒

oh great. three MORE rapey boys. just what the show needed. MORE RAPEY BOYS.  😤😤😤

(lemme save you all the trouble of wondering how this is gonna go - acp is gonna save her, she's gonna be indebted, he's gonna be all conflicted coz omg why did i save her i hate her and they'll angstily marry each other and be the most boring-ass couple ever. 🙄🙄🙄)

i need to know what makeup primer/fixing spray anika uses that's waterproof, crying proof, torture (by shivaay + daksh) proof, freeze proof... like... what sorcery is this????? 😯😯😯

ok rudra, if you think of her as your wife, why don't you just ACCEPT it, and TELL HER? why is this plot still where it was 2 months ago????? 😑😑😑

i want sAumya's jammies. they look comfy af. 😊😊😊

oh look. husband was here all along! 😚😚😚

aaaaand he's yelling. ouff. give a girl a second to wake up properly! 😒😒😒

ok relax my man, you're in mumbai, not the north pole, that a hand outside the blanket will make her get the chills. 🙄🙄🙄

aw, he's "snug as a bug in a rug"d her! 😚😚😚

"akduuuu!" 😂😂😂

honestly boys, you can find better porn on the net, you don't have to get your jollies from watching priyanka change into a nightgown ffs.  🙄🙄🙄

romi's outfit is cute af! i want! 😊😊😊

i don't like this new YELLYYYYY svetlana. 😑😑😑

wow ok yeah that plan sounds CLEAR AF, thanks svetlana, for being so precise and detailed. 🙄🙄🙄

A+ eyeliner though. if only you lent that laser focus on explaining the plan.  👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh this... credo, and hand gesture thing is... here to stay? not a one time thing from that reveal scene? 😬😬😬

it's reminding me of a hateful version of the thing the planeteers do to summon captain planet. 😂😂😂

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAINNNNNN NAFRAT!!!! 😋😋😋

acp is shocked to learn that someone else is moving in on his "make priyanka feel violated with rapey harkatein" niche. THAT'S HIS CURB, DAMMIT, AND HE'LL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE TAKES IT FROM HIM!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

just once in my life, i want someone to be as excited about me as rudra is about anika. 😪😪😪

"aap fridge mein kyun chupi thi? aap waisi hi itni cool ho!" 😂😂😂

dadi: don't do anything that can get you killed, lololol!

seriously, dadi??? is that how you warn someone??? is the actress playing her wrong, or is she being written weird? either way, i can't fucking stand this character since shivaay and anika got married. 😒😒😒

@ ruMya: can you two just bang and get over it? 🙄🙄🙄

"hum risk sirf tabhi lete hai jab humein yakeen hai humaara prince charming humein bachaane aayega."

the day i risk anything in hope of a MAN coming and saving me is the day i die. of disappointment. 😑😑😑

headline of tomorrow's oberoi times: 30+ year old man gets his kicks from eavesdropping on youth and their discourse on romance; forces wife to participate in chichori harkat as a means to feel her up under the stairs.

why's he hugging her to his chesttttt? like cute af and all, but... lol, why? 😂😂😂

aw rudraaaaaa. 💗💗💗

aaaaaaand, there. you had to ruin it. asshole.  😒😒😒

waah, seediyon ke upar bhi romance, neeche bhi romance. 😏😏😏

where's my boy ommmmmmmmm? why isn't HE feeling up a PYT somewhere in the vicinity of this staircase???????? god knows if anyone deserves it the most, it's him! 😐😐😐

play a romantic song from this decade maybe???? 🤔🤔🤔

ok shivaay, she's your wife. you can seduce her in your room, ya'know. 😶😶😶

ok fine, i won't be such a unromantic grouch. carry on. continue fondling your wife under the staircase, like a horny high school kid. 😌😌😌

what do you mean "roka kisne hai?" YOU WERE ON HER LIKE WHITE ON RICE BRUH. pfffffffft. 🙄🙄🙄

the bad dubbing is ruining this scene for meeeeeeee. i'll have to watch it again on mute to get my kicks. 😫😫😫

wow. so this is what it's like when shivaay is romantic. nice. why couldn't you have just persuaded her to marry you her like this?????? 😐😐😐

shivaay, back in his room, googling "help i think i love my wife" and "how to make my wife love me". 😂😂😂

tia's hereeee, looking extremely becoming.😚😚😚

LMAO that HUGE step back he took when she mentioned the baby. 😂😂😂

oh i think tia's in that phase of her pregnancy when women get super horny. 😶😶😶

lol, i've never heard of the word "rest" as a euphemism for an orgasm, but this show has been so ~~~pathbreaking in so many ways so sure, why not? 😕😕😕

*while being seduced* "... i need to finish my emails!" 😂😂😂

lmao what an ISHQBAAZ. truly amazing. dadi, come take a look! 😂😂😂

anika strolling into that room like, BITCH STEP THE FUCK BACK, THIS WORKAHOLIC ROBOT IS MINE!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

3rd january

preview: I KNEW THE NEW HUNKY SERVANT WOULD BE SHADY! I KNEWWWWWWWWW IT! 😬😬😬

tiaaaaa was notttttt expecting anika to be so ferocious after being frozen like an bag of peas. 😂😂😂

shivaay's deep resigned sigh + "tia, you brought this on yourself" face lololol 😂😂😂

"nakhre noor jahan ke" hee hee 😂😂😂

"kasam shivaay BABY ki" LMAO 😂😂😂

shivaay's enjoying this smackdown too much lol, he's intervening soooooo reluctantly.  😋😋😋

"ACHAAR KE DAAG KI TARAH DHEET" omfg appropriating this for daily use irl 😂😂😂

might as well hang a sign around shivaay's neck saying "property of anika" 🙃🙃🙃

for that matter, tia's too, coz anika just OWNED HER ASS 😎😎😎

damnnnnnnnnnnnn anika, is this what being cold does to you??? i just get very angry and miserable and eat a lot of carbs. 😐😐😐

lololol the instant disappearance of her giggles. 😋😋😋

patidev is taking full faida of display of haq. 😚😚😚

MAIN ROZ BRUSH KARTI HOON HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay's not interested in your dental routine right now anika, he has lurrrrrrrve on his mind! 😚😚😚

(that look he gives her teeth tho, lol) 😂😂😂

it's weird that he's being SO romantic all outta nowhere. with a woman he served divorce papers to THIS MORNING.

(yes, this is the same day. god. i'm exhausted just thinking how long their damn days are. 😫😫😫)

bruh, parde toh bandh kiye hote. the whole house is getting an eyeful of your seduction game. 🙈🙈🙈

which is suddenly A+ btw. looks like googling "how to make my wife love me" gave him some fucking amazing results. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

such cute how they can't control their silly smiles and giggles at each other. adorable idiots. 💗💗💗

lol she literally jumped out the window to get away. 😂😂😂😂😂

relatable af. i woulda done the same. 😶😶😶

yes shivaay, what's happening to you? your constant smiling and being all romantic and shit is freaking meeeeeeee out. 😬😬😬

ouff, from that cuteness to this rapey nonsense. 😒😒😒

LOL ACP'S PUNCH. 😂😂😂

acp toh shivaay ka bhai nikla in phone tod department. 😐😐😐

where the fuck is everyone, did they just leave prinku alone? 😒😒😒

why doesn't the third dude deserve a name? 🤔🤔🤔

TUJHE CHAHTE HAI JAANEMAAANNN. abhishek and sumit have been watching too many b-grade 80's bolly movies. next they'll reply "bhagwan ke liye tujhe chod denge toh hum kya karengee?" 🙄🙄🙄

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. honestly, i am so fucking done with this acp and prinku track. i could honestly not give less of a fuck about them. 😑😑😑

yes acp, keep watching as they tear her dori and violate her. best. 😒😒😒

anika, pay attn to hunky servant. he just gave you a clueeeeee. 😐😐😐

anika, you need to get a job. 😗😗😗

pft. acp ki herobaazi. mujhe nahi dekhni. fwd. 😒😒😒

can shivaay enroll prinku in some damn self defense classes ffs???? while he's at it, some personality development classes as well. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooo TUM MERE HO. 😂😂😂

what the hell is with this show and songssss from the fucking 90s. can they not afford copyrights to anything newer??

such dramatic dupatta odh-ing was unnecessary. hand it over like a normal dude, bro. 🙄🙄🙄

prinku's feeling the angsty lau feelings right on schedule. 😒😒😒

since when is there this giantasss plate glass window in shivaay's room? 🤔🤔🤔

snort. hunky servant's evil smile. lololol. 😂😂😂

lol what the hell is he doing with the pointer toy i use to irritate my cat? 🤔🤔🤔

what in the world is shivaay wearing? 😟😟😟

lmaooooooooo. the cat toy is being used to melt whatever's holding the glass. 😂😂😂

yeah honestly anika, why do you ask? 😐😐😐

tia speaks the truth. get a job, anika. a hobby maybe. 🙄🙄🙄

like, i love anika and all, but god, i love tia so much more. she's a cold hard bitch who gets hers. 💗💗💗💗💗

or tries very hard, at least.

by this time, you could have run back home to save him by now. 🙄🙄🙄

looking at the angle the glass was falling, he was out of the danger zone. but yeah, the flying shards... oh well. 😐😐😐

TELL ME WE GET SOME AWESOME HURT/COMFORT SHIT OUTTA THIS, WITH ANIKA NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH. *smoochy noises* 😚😚😚

4th january

preview: idc what these ppl are yelling about all i care about is that OM IS BACK OM IS BACK OH HAPPY DAY OM IS BACK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE REASON TO LIVE AGAIN MY LONG HAIRED ARTIST BOY IS BACK!!!!! 😇😇😇

ouff, move slower shivaay. 😒😒😒

UM HOW THE FUCK DID THE GLASS JUST SHATTER SPONTANEOUSLY??? WHAT NONSENSE. 😒😒😒

GIRL, HONESTLY IN THIS TIME YOU COULD HAVE RUN THERE. 🙄🙄🙄

pft. he's fiiiiiine. just has some glass in his hair. nothing that tadi waala hair gesture of his won't fix. 😎😎😎

what's om screaming about? boy stand still and smile so i can drink you innnnnnn. 😐😐😐

what logic. there's just one paraaya, compared to allllll these apne. 🙄🙄🙄

tej, again, he's a self made billionaire. he doesn't need your money. 😑😑😑

ouff. men and their egos. 🙄🙄🙄

shivaay's been shook out of his near death experience stupor thanks to all the yelling. ouff, this fucking family. can't you let a man ponder his mortality in peace????? 😒😒😒

rudra, maybe have less selfish reasons... like, something more compelling than a fucking SANDWICH????? 😒😒😒

anika's brain be like OH BETE KIIIIIIIIII 😂😂😂

this should be a rasm for the new bahu too, witnessing the first bullshit fight that occurs in this family on a near-daily basis. 🙄🙄🙄

for once, shivaay's angry grabbing is justified and not icky. 😶😶😶

god stop being such an angsty emo bunny, om. such a drama queen you are. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff this damn new servant. 😑😑😑

yeah we got that, om. give us the REAL REASON. 😒😒😒

ooooh i think tej's trying to marry om off to some richhhhh heiress??? 🤔🤔🤔

CALLED IT!!!!!!

why's pinky making that self righteous face? it's what she was doing to shivaay too. 😶😶😶

arre bas itni si problem? nothing a little google-fu and facebook and instagram stalking can't solve! such baat ka batangad. 🙄🙄🙄

i mean, i gotta agree with tej here, arranged marriage really isn't a revolutionary concept. why's om getting so hyper like a damn white kid who's never heard of the concept? 😐😐😐

um, that's so not the reason to have kids????? 😒😒😒

he wants lurrrrrrrrrrve, tej. he wants LURVE. 😗😗😗

god this fucking murdery servant dude is getting even more footage than OM and it's pissing me offfffff. 😒😒😒

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i mean if this argument came from anyone other than shivaay. 😂😂😂

to play devil's advocate though, he was in a relationship with tia and THINKS he knows her though. 😕😕😕

lol tej has the same idea as me. 😙😙😙

LMAO OM'S BRAIN LITERALLY SHORTCIRCUITING BEHIND TEJ, I AM LOVING IT LEMME REWIND 😂😂😂

lololololol even better the second time. 😂😂😂

bro, someone explain the structure of the oberoi businesses to me. please. i don't get it. what does shivaay do, what does tej do, how does any of this shit even work????? 😕😕😕

they're really modelled on the ambanis, i guess. 😗😗😗

tej, maybe don't disclose your petty so openly? 😬😬😬

ouff, dadi, why do you even bother? just go back to tirupati or whatever. take om with you. live in peace. 🙄🙄🙄

yeah shakti. just shut up. let a mom defend her son. 😑😑😑

what's wrong with this fucking servant, he's just going around the house tampering with everything shivaay touches. 😦😦😦

ouffffffff, jungle waala chutiyapa abhi tak khatam nahi hua. 😒😒😒

lol that weird scream. 😂😂😂

god, that's one determined rapist, going to attack prinku IN THE MIDDLE of getting his ass kicked. finish him offffff, acp. 😑😑😑

um acp??? large knife being aimed at ya girl... 😕😕😕

of course... of course acp is the one who gets slashed. 🙄🙄🙄

i wanted a shivika hurt/comfort scene. ouff, looks like i'll have to settle for this off brand nonsense instead. 😒😒😒

no? prinku's just letting him walk away? cool. 😗😗😗

ouff tej, you're like a dog with a bone, om don't currrr about your damn business. 😑😑😑

god how many times will we have to watch the same fucking argument between om and tej. i'm so bored. 🙄🙄🙄

ok tej, just stfu. THEY WERE JUST STARTING TO GET ALONG AND BE ALL CUTE AND FLIRTY AND SHIT. WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ITTTTT????? 😑😑😑

ouff pinkyyyyyyy, shushhhhhhh.

this episode is so fucking boringgggggggggggg. ouff. 😑😑😑

oh no is svetlana back in tej's life now?????? OH NO. 😬😬😬

thank god at least one sister in the kapoor fam has a strong seduction game. watch and learn from di, tia + romi. 😎😎😎

who is svetlanaaaaa gunning for om to marry????? 😐😐😐

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE 😯😯😯

i have this teeny tiny feeling that maybe om may end up marrying the chaddha girl, through some tej + svetlana dhokebaazi, and he's gonna hate her, but she's gonna turn out to be super nice and shit and worm her way into om's heart. #tellywoodtrashKiBhavishwyawaani 😇😇😇

dadi about to keel over from a heart attack. 😐😐😐

i feel zero sympathy tbh, coz dadi kinda deserves a tiny heart attack from the way she handled the shivaay/anika thing. 😒😒😒

the oberoi kid deserving bachpan-waala slapping is behind you, tej. he's less slap-worthy these days but give it a week or two, he's going to do something to deserve it. 😕😕😕

anika be like lord almighty i miss my bua. she was easier to handle than these ppl. 😮😮😮

calling it already, jhanvi is #bestMom2k17 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

good riddance. bye tejjjj.👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

precap: shit, i thought my "bye tej" straight off dispatched him into the afterlife. 😬😬😬 nope. just some rando chick. om's girl? 🤔🤔🤔

oooh, shivaay making anika some mighty big promises. 😚😚😚

5th january

lol @ tej's hissy fit. 😆😆😆

this servant seems to have a damn phd in killing ppl. 😐😐😐

LMAO, pinky is meeeeeee. 5ever interested in the drama, but super side eye-y of it. lolololol. 😂😂😂

anika, honestly, i mean, i get your urgency, but is this the time? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

gaaadi hai, underwear nahi, that two people can't use one anothers'. just give him the damn keys, driver. 🙄🙄🙄

oh the plan was to kill tej all along? i have no issues with that. carry on, kapoor sisters. 🙃🙃🙃

GOOD LORD. RAPEY DUDES ARE ALSO KAPOOR SHILLS. WHAT NONSENSE. OUFF. 😒😒😒

also how the f did they send the mms to romi when acp smashed the phone last night???? 😑😑😑

anika, girl. you soundin' cray. 😶😶😶

lol the scenery chewing that this servant actor is doing. amaze. 😆😆😆

i want jhanvi's earrings. 😊😊😊

svetlana's super nonchalant "what?" at tej's impending death, i love it.

i've changed my mind, i think i love svetlana. i'm modeling my 2017 personality after her. 😍😍😍

tia, stop being such a weak bitch.  😐😐😐

OH NO JUST WHEN I GOT ON #TEAMSVETLANA, she's about to go do some suicidal stunt?!?!!! GODDAMNIT, WHY???? 😩😩😩

tej should have read @phati-sari‘s post on how to deal with failed brakes. 😊😊😊

yeah no one who takes an airbag to the face emerges looking completely fine like that. that shit deploys at like 300 kmph. 😒😒😒

oh shit u ok svetlana???? 😯😯😯

guessing this is svetlana's plan to make her way into the oberoi mansion. please don't let this end up with her marrying om tho. that's just super yucky. 😬😬😬

anika, you need to learn to communicate better. no one would believe what you're saying, the way you're saying it. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “dimaag ki dahi” what an un-shivaay like phrase. 😂😂😂

@ruMya: could you two kids just kiss alreadyyyy? 😐😐😐

ugh acp ka ott filmy dialogue. hope those big words are antiseptic and save you from catching some kinda nasty-ass infection. 🙄🙄🙄

“bohut khoon” my foot. 🙄🙄🙄

"main bura hoon, par gira hua nahi."  

LMAO WHAT NONSENSE, HOW IS YOU FORCING HER TO MARRY HER IN ORDER TO TORTURE HER ANY BETTER THAN MAKING THE MMS? IF ANYTHING, IT'S WORSE. 😒😒😒

can you two get off my screen already????? 😑😑😑

thank you.

CAN YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FIGHTING ABOUT THIS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS???????????? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

oh boy, om's gonna fuckin' loseeeeee it. 😬😬😬

lol his crossed arms + "both of you shoulda died" expression. 😋😋😋

god tia, TOUGHEN UP. nafratbaaz my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

svetlana doesn't even look thaaat injured tho? like she's just got a few scrapes... 🤔🤔🤔

BREATHE, SVETLANA, I JUST STARTED LIKING YOU!!!! 😩😩😩

why is no one (anika even) noticing tia losing her shit while seeing svetlana like this? 😐😐😐

LMAO TRUST THE OBEROIS TO KEEP THEIR FIRST AID KIT IN AN ORNATE GOLDEN FILGREE EMBOSSED WOODEN BOX. 😂😂😂

loving jhanvi, pinky and om's #idgaf expressions. 🙃🙃🙃

fwding to when svetlana finally wakes the f up, coz we all know she's gonna. 🙄🙄🙄

om asking all the real questions. 🙃🙃🙃

ok that answer doesn't make sense, tej. 🙄🙄🙄

nothing gets me more heart eyed than when om calls ppl out on their shit. 😍😍😍

what “jaan par khel kar”???? she just happened to be in the way with her car, there were zero allusions that she did it intentionally. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, tej lending some credence to anika's story. 😶😶😶

pft, i only watched today's episode for the shivika scene i was promised in yesterday's precap, and instead i had to watch a whole episode of them bickering and have to wait until the next ep. 😒😒😒

6th january

preview: yay, team's all here and on a mission!!!!!! 😊😊😊

lmao the knife still in the tyre. looks like murder servant isn't that smart after all. 😆😆😆

lmaoooooo no pointtttt calling security, come on shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

sup khanna? new year, new facial hair! 😏😏😏

lol you know khanna is here only to make fanmixes on his otp. i bet he has a thriving youtube channel filled with footage of you two. 😆😆😆

why's he calling tej when he's just indoors???? 🤔🤔🤔

says the person who whatsapps her mom from the next room about how the cat is chewing on my leg. 😶😶😶

um shivaay, please to notice that your wife is currently having a breakdown? 😶😶😶

this moment is coming across as super fake on anika's part. the whole stumbling around and talking to self thing. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap BHI mujhe chod ke chale gaye toh?” awww. baby. *pats her hair*

god shivaay, why is YELLING your go-to for everything? you didn't even try to reason with her normally, before going to yelling. 😒😒😒

bad writing/shitty editing or shitty acting on nakuul's part? 🤔🤔🤔

"main kahin nahi jaunga. na main khud jaunga, na tumhe jaane dunga."

aw. but also, kinda creepy and dakshy-sounding. depends on what mood you're in while watching. 😕😕😕

HUG!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗

oh come on, you could have totally hugggggggged. why's shivaay having sudden commitment-phobia??? 🙄🙄🙄

lol jhanvi, why so obtuse? how can someone so smart, be so fucking stupid? 😑😑😑

LMAO PINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FUCKING LOVE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

never let it be said that true love doesn't exist in this show. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽 offering to murder your sister-friend's husband's mistress is the GREATEST ACT OF LOVE that has ever been displayed in the 170-odd episodes. 💗💗💗 #female relationships mean everything to me

pinky's disappointment at jhanvi not taking her up on the offer = the best. 😂😂😂

"naagin ko full fats creams ka milks pilaao" amazing. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

also, subtle meta reference at svetlana actress's gig on a naagin show? 🤔🤔🤔

does anika even know the whole deal with svetlana? how????? 🤔🤔🤔

kanji aankhein be shocked at...?

oh. murder servant's game is up. bye boo. it was fun watching ya overact the fuck out of everything for 3 days. 😙😙😙

rudra's brief for this episode: make an exit within 30 seconds of scene and take sumo with him. 😑😑😑

170 episodes too late, but yes, please change the security staff. 🙄🙄🙄

oh god, time for anika to maarofy heavy sanskaari statement about patni protecting pati from blah blah blah. 😑😑😑

my expression, exact same as tia's. 😒😒😒

oh boy, anika's leading tia into a phone throwing type moment. the wily minx. 😬😬😬

ooh, is this the first time tia didn't call shivaay SHIVAAY BABY? 🤔🤔🤔

lol shivaay, not much of a date if she goes alone. 😐😐😐

oh boy shivaay, don't piss tia off. she's gonna ramp up the attempts to murder you. 😬😬😬

i thought she was gonna snap his neck right there and then. 😂😂😂

lololol anika's face. 😂😂😂

methinks the shivaay doth protests too much. 😚😚😚

snorttttttt, idk if she's enjoying this or not, but I CERTAINLY AM ENJOYING THIS. 😂😂😂

nakhra is not a very hard word. neither is noor jahan. are you just stupid, shivaay? 😕😕😕

this is a silly, quite badly written scene, but they're so cute when they're unable to stop grinning around each other. 😘😘😘

tho shivaay is unusally happy for someone who almost got murdered twice today. 😕😕😕

time for oberoi mystery inc. to convene and discuss. 😎😎😎

in the most open, obvious fucking location in the house. amazing. not a single bright crayon in this box. 😒😒😒

^^^^ ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE OBEROI BOX OF CRAYONS. 🙄🙄🙄

when will my om get a girl to walk with, who loves him the way he deserves to be loved? 😞😞😞

"laser". pfffffffft. IT WAS A CAT TOYYYYY COME ON. 🙄🙄🙄

where did all the furniture in this room go? 🤔🤔🤔

lmao AJAY VERMA. might as well be named john smith. 🙄🙄🙄

also, of course he didn't come from the agency you fucking idiots. 😑😑😑

DRAMATIC TADI WAALA POSTURING! 😎😎😎

i'd be downright disappointed with tia if she wasn't eavesdropping rn.

NOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE! LISTEN TO THEM PLANNING WHATEVERRRRRR! FFS TIA, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS WITHOUT SVETLANA HISSING AT YOU AT ALL TIMES???? 😩😩😩

may i remind you all that they were making out like svetlana was almost in a fucking coma. still, not a single person watching over her to find that tia is visiting her and calling her "di". 🙄🙄🙄

lol svetlana's giant hair eclipsing her head bandage tho. 😂😂😂

i'm bored with this scene so here are the oberois as mystery inc. team members:

anika = velma 🤓🤓🤓 (because orange. and she's ultimately gonna be the one who solves everything.)

shivaay = fred 👦🏽👦🏽👦🏽 (requisite cis male eye candy; mileage may vary depending by case.)

sAumya = daphne 👧🏽👧🏽👧🏽 (occasionally does shit, but mostly here to fulfill the cute quota.)

om = shaggy 🙇🏽🙇🏽🙇🏽 (coz i'm sure 87% of his chill personality comes from the fact that he's 420 blazin' it up in that studio of his.)

rudra = scooby 🐶🐶🐶 (self explanatory.)

I WANT TO BURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY FUCKING VESTS THEY PUT ON THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

ooooooooh anika sleeps in the room now! progress! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

"anika? hi? good morning? 😶😶😶" lol. awwww. 😊😊😊

goddamnit shivaay, why the fuck are you always yelling??? honestly, that too so early in the morning. 😒😒😒

"you sleep like a log." "kaun log?"

snort. 😂😂😂

"dhang ke kapde"? you rather liked this outfit the last time she wore it. couldn't stop feeling her up every two minutes. 😏😏😏

"breakfast banane jaa raha hoon, TUMHARE LIYE."

NOW i'd say my man’s on track to redemption. 😚😚😚

what can i say, i'm a hungry bitch. feed me and i'll be yours forever. i'm very much like a raccoon that way. 😇😇😇

OOOOOOOOH A GIFT. 💖💖💖💖

wait, should i be worried? 😟😟😟

coz y'know, the last time he handed her a gift wrapped box, it had divorce papers. 😕😕😕

OOOH AN IPHONE. ANIKA FINALLY JOINS THE IPHONE FAM.

inaugarate it by dirty facetiming each other. 😏😏😏

sahil is a 7 year old. AT BOARDING SCHOOL. he doesn't need a fucking phone. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooooh. "pyaar se." girl, watch what you're asking for. you couldn't really handle his pyaar a day back. you jumped out the window coz it was too much. 😋😋😋

goddamnit, this smooth motherf... where's he suddenly getting these moves from???? 😯😯😯

ok it's an iphone. not that there's a lot of variety to CHOOSE from. calm down, shivaay. 😑😑😑

his smiley romantic mood makes me both awwwww, and also be a little freaked out. 😬😬😬

mostly freaked out. i'm really not used to it. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😕😕😕

"toh yeh pyaar se tha, ya dobara koshish karoon?"

holy shit. i... uh... 🤐🤐🤐😯😯😯

*loses my damn mind for a second*

ok i’m back... BUT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SHIVAAY WE KNOW AND LOATHE????? 😮😮😮

GODDAMN HIS SEDUCTION GAME... JUST... NO WORDS. 😶😶😶

i nearly jumped out my damn skin just like anika when he came back.  

"phir se blush kar rahi ho."

GET OUTTA HERE, ANIKA AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THESE FEELZ. JUST GO MAKE THE FOOD. GO. SHOO. 😩😩😩

"yeh blush kya cheez hai???? main kar bhi rahi hoon aur mujhe pata hi nahi hai!" haha awwww 😂😂😂

sAumya looks cuddly af man. i wanttttt a hug from herrrrrr! 🤗🤗🤗

why is she not dancing in her own room tho? 🤔🤔🤔

the fuck is this???? 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh, it’s an ad for some shit. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

also, why is it suddenly night if shivaay just woke anika up? 🤔🤔🤔

bloody hell, what a waste of screen time, this is an extra minute i could have spent staring at om's face. #respectOmkara2k17 😩😩😩😩

[queennicoleinboots]

Mr. Thor, Murphee, and Joebear React to a video Peter Parker Made Called "Fuck This House", part 1

-------------------------------------------------

"FUCK THIS HOUSE!!!!!" Peter starts screaming on the video.

Mr. Thor chuckled. "Here we go!"

In the video, Peter laughed. "Hey how are you this is Peter W. Parker not to be confused with Spiderman Peter Parker. And welcome to Fuck This House. That's right! Fuck this house. There's so much bullshit in this house. Too much fucking work. Everything's work. Been like that since I fuckin' moved here."

Mr. Thor nodded. "I know that's right. Felt that way 10 years ago about my other house," he said.

"You see this toilet garden?" Peter asked in the video.

"Yes. Jesus Christ, that's disgusting," Mr. Thor responded.

I cracked up at Mr. Thor's comment.

"...I want to break every one of these goddamn toilets again and again until they don't have the NERVE to come back!!!" Peter yelled in the video.

"Don't blame you. You really are a shithead, Peter," Mr. Thor said.

I burst out laughing.

"And this goddamn backyard. More toilets. Grass grass grass everywhere. I'm allergic to grass. Fuck grass. I hate this green shit! I'm not fuckin' mowing it." Peter continued to rant before he threw his neck in the direction of the grass. "Fuck you, you green pieces of shit!!! And another thing, my parents got a hot tub in the backyard. WHY?! They never use the goddamn thing!!! They used it once since we got it a month ago. It's a lot of work. Why?! I don't fucking use it because I hate being outside! I'm allergic to the goddamn water. GUESS WHO HAS TO CLEAN IT?! I DOOOOOO!!!!" Peter sung the "I DOOOOOO!!!!" part.

Mr. Thor shook his head and just stared at Peter on the video.

"It uses up the goddamn electricity, and they complain about the light bill. Jesus Christ my parents are illogical!!!!" Peter continued.

"You and your parents are illogical. That's why you're related," Mr. Thor said as he chuckled at his own comment.

I, too, was giggling.

Peter sighed. "Then there's the bills! Jeez. Utility bills go up. Gotta pay property tax! Gotta deal with the Housekeeping Association," he said as he pointed the camera to me.

I waved in the video. "Hi. I'm an extra bill you have to pay every month JUST SO YOU CAN CONTINUE TO EXIST IN YOUR HOUSE," I said enthusiastically.

Mr. Thor and I laughed at my comment.

"Oh fuck you!" Peter said before he moved the camera away from me and continued to show the house. "Haha. It's ridiculous. Let me show you the inside. I'm not ready to deal with my obliterated duct hose and beyond-fucked gutter yet."

"He didn't want to mention his rotting roof, either," I said to Mr. Thor.

Mr. Thor laughed heartily.

"Here's my parents' side of the house. Very relaxing. Very presentable! Very pretty. As you can see, there's a lot of woodwork, crown moulding, my parents have very nice taste... If a termite came in here, he would have an erection in two seconds. In fact, that's what happened at our last house. A termite had an erection and ate my house. Mother fucker," Peter ranted as his face was contorting into several expressions of rage and disgust.

"Are you serious? I'm GLAD a termite had an erection and destroyed my house a few months ago. It wasn't worth the stress and aggravation. I should have NEVER left my apartment in Alpharetta. Bad life decisions. This video brings back bad memories," Mr. Thor said.

"As you can see, my parents have two skylights that THEY MAKE ME CLEAN BECAUSE OF THE BIRD SHIT AND THE TREE SAP... they hate me," Peter said with a defeated expression on his face.

My phone dinged in the background of the video.

"Goddamn classic. Your phone goes off in the background," Mr. Thor said with a huge smile on his face.

"I even FELL OFF THE GODDAMN ROOF AND THIS BITCH AND MY MOTHER'S VENUS FLYTRAP LAUGHED AT ME!!!" Peter said as he pointed the camera at me again.

I at this point started laughing to the fullest extent. He flicked me off in front of the camera.

Mr. Thor and I were laughing, beating the arms of our chairs, and almost on the verge of tears from laughing so hard.

"I was blowing leaves like a jackass. Fell off the fucking roof onto the wet muddy ground, and this bitch just continued to laugh at me," Peter continued.

I was laughing, falling on the ground, and beating the floor with my fist. He was filming me.

Mr. Thor and I continued to laugh hysterically. He could barely breathe.

"I was screaming in pain. But they were laughing. Everything I do is a fucking joke!" Peter said loudly.

I was snickering, lying on my back, kicking my heels, and clutching my stomach. Scheudenfreude was real.

Scheudenfreude is still real. Mr. Thor about fell out of his chair. I was clutching my stomach again.

He pointed the camera to the woodburning stove his parents had in the corner. "Anyway, onto my parents' woodburning stove. Very nice, but I have to clean the thing. No one else cleans it so I have to clean it! I-I-I gotta get the brushes. Clean this shit out!!! All the fucking time because the creole builds up and it could cause a fire. Sigh. I gotta go on the roof again. I gotta live on the roof. Brush out the shit!" Peter was making dramatic faces at the camera.

Mr. Thor was doubled over in pain and laughing hysterically.

Murphee walked over. "What the hell are you watching?"

"MURPHAY!!!!" I greeted.

"We're watching Peter complain about his house," Mr. Thor answered.

"That bastard complains about everything," Murphee said.

Peter took a deep breath before continuing to rant. "Assemble the brush, go down the chimney, be Santa Claus!!!!" He was imitating using the brush with the hand that wasn't holding the phone camera.

"Santa Claus? This guy does everything!" Murphee exclaimed.

"He'd make a good Santa Claus! Haha!!!" Mr. Thor said.

Murphee barked again.

"I look like I'm jacking off or something Jesus Christ!!! It's a lot of work! Everything is work! It's nice it's nice but it's a lot of work!" Peter sounded like Smeagull from Lord of the Rings when he said "but it's a lot of work!"

I laughed again on the camera.

Mr. Thor, Murphee, and I laughed. Mr. Thor was on the verge of tears.

"MONEY AND LABOR AND BLOOD AND SWEAT AND TEARS AND AGGRAVATION AND STRESS AND IRRITATION!" Peter screamed into the camera.

Murphee was howling with laughter. Mr. Thor was laughing without sound. I was chuckling and trying to continue breathing.

I laughed in the video.

"Wanna see my parents' kitchen?!" Peter asked with a smile as he showed the camera his parents' kitchen. "Here's where we eat... when we actually DO eat. It's rare that I eat with my parents I have to work most of the goddamn time anyway. Ha! Ha! And my mom wants to redo the kitchen! Why?! I'm trying to fix the God-forsaken gutter outside! I-I can't win! It's-It's-It's always something!!!! You go from one project to another, especially in my goddamn house."

"Ain't that the truth?" Mr. Thor asked.

Peter continued to speak loudly, "...I get to fuck around with this fucking place! I want to kick something right now!"

I really cracked up in the video.

"FUCK THIS HOUSE! REALLY!!!!" Peter screamed into the phone with eyes that couldn't get any wider if they tried.

Mr. Thor, Murphee, and I howled with laughter.

"I'd rather live in a cardboard box somewhere out in the middle of Atlanta!!! I hate the system! I don't want to pay into it, ANYMORE!!!! I don't give a shit! Give me a cardboard box and a glass of water and I'm happy!" Peter announced in the video.

I was crying as I was laughing in the video.

"Let's go in here! Let's go in here! Let's go in my part of the house where I broke all my ceiling fans and have blades coming out every which way because I was an ape!!!"

Murphee barked. "What the fuck?! Why are there ceiling fan blades sticking out of his wall?"

I cracked up. "He hates ceiling fans," I answered.

"Goddamn that's unusual," Mr. Thor said.

I was laughing hysterically at him in the video. My laughter seemed to be permanent background noise at this point.

"You see this shit?! I hate this shit. I'm 7'4" and I get whacked by my fucking ceiling every goddamn day. I have to look at this bullshit every single day. I hate it. We just recently replaced my toilet because it somehow broke. Low flow bullshit toilet. Gotta flush the thing two times to get even a piece of toilet paper down. Low flow toilets don't save water. That's another bullshit lie they tell you," Peter started to rant.

"True true true true true! My low flow toilet is ABSOLUTELY useless," Mr. Thor commented.

"The water company saves money. You have to pay to fix the flusher from overuse. The PLUMBERS MAKE MONEY!!!! The Chinese invented these toilets. Again, fuck them. There is no water shortage anywhere. That's another bullshit lie they tell you so that they can charge more for your water bill. It's all bullshit," Peter continued to rant.

I was perpetually chuckling and agreeing with what he was saying both in and out of the video.

"We had to go to three home depots to fix the several issues this piece of shit house has and has had since the nightmarish day I fucking moved here," Peter was speaking.

"Three Home Depots? Why?" Murphee asked.

"And we all know what Home Depot is like. Let me get into that!!!" Peter shouted.

"I know what it's like. Went through it 10 years ago. Skip that part," Mr. Thor said.

Murphee and I chuckled at that part.

"My parents spent $15,000 on this furniture, repairs, and services. Jesus. My parents bought more furniture from Ikea. GUESS WHO HAD TO PUT IT TOGETHER?!" Peter said with a dramatic hand gesture. "MEEEEEEEE!!!!" Peter was singing through his big smile.

I was snickering hardcore in the background.

I snickered again in real life.

"Oh, and when I found my desk in Grayson, I kidnapped an old woman and made her refurbish it..." Peter explained before showing the camera the indentation of where he slams his fist on said desk every single solitary fucking morning, afternoon, and evening.

"Jesus Christ. What the actual fuck?" Murphee asked.

"I did that to an antique piece Wynona bought for $50. Fuck that thing," Mr. Thor said with enthusiasm.

Peter is a funny, mental mess. I couldn't help but continually chuckle.

"It's a nice desk, but it's a lot of work," Peter continued.

"I know. I know. You're speaking to the choir," Mr. Thor said.

"I have a regular fireplace," Peter said as he showed the camera his normal fireplace. "But when you aren't using it. You have to make sure it's closed or a squirrel will come in like Christmas vacation."

Mr. Thor laughed. Murphee barked.

"...He was one of my brethren who came to troll you that day, Peter," I said on the video.

"Oh God. Yes. You were a squirrel in your previous life. Jesus," Peter said.

"Really, Xara?" Mr. Thor asked.

"Yes," I said. "I was a squirrel in my previous life."

"Gee. That explains a lot," Mr. Thor said with a chuckle.

Peter showed the camera the front of the house. "Sigh. More toilets. More grass. Ughhhhh!!! It just never ends!!! It's work! You never have a day to yourself. Every day my parents want me to do something just to keep up with the house!!!!! And I say YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! FUCK THIS HOUSE!!! I can't take-YOU KNOW WHAT?!!! My parents are doing whatever! They need a yard person that's why I say fuck this house!!!! I'm leaving right now. Let them deal with it. I don't give a shit. They don't even thank me. Unappreciative old fucks. I hate them. I hate this house. I hate the Chinese."

Mr. Thor, Murphee, and I laughed. My abdomen was literally killing me at this point.

"Yep. Houses are a bitch," Mr. Thor said with a snort laugh. "I hate the Chinese, too."

"Same here. I hate everyone," I said.

Peter walked out of his house. "I'm just going to walk out of here. I'm going to walk until I don't feel like walking anymore. Fuck this house. Fuck everybody. Let them deal with it!!! Let the grass grow. Let the house explode. I don't give a shit. I'm just gonna walk."

Mr. Thor and Murphee were rolling on the floor laughing after the video ended.

"That poor bastard! Hahahahahaha! Haha!!!!!" Mr. Thor said with a super hearty laugh.

"Wow. WTF did I watch?" Murphee asked.

"A man who hates his own home," I answered.

"Apparently," Murphee said with a laugh. "Gee. I couldn't imagine!"

-------------------------------------------------

I went home and showed Joebear Peter's video.

"FUCK THIS HOUSE!!!!" Peter continued his video with a laugh. "Hey how are you this is Peter W. Parker not to be confused with Spiderman Peter Parker. And welcome to Fuck This House. That's right! Fuck this house. There's so much bullshit in this house. Too much fucking work. Everything's work. Been like that since I fuckin' moved here."

Peter walked outside and showed the camera his mother's extensive toilet garden. "You see this toilet garden. It's a monstrosity! It's an eye sore. It stares at me every fucking day! I hate it. I want to break every one of these goddamn toilets again and again until they don't have the NERVE to come back!!!"

"Gee! That toilet garden is bigger than ever," Joebear said.

"And this goddamn backyard. More toilets. Grass grass grass everywhere. I'm allergic to grass. Fuck grass. I hate this green shit! I'm not fuckin' mowing it." Peter continued to rant before he threw his neck in the direction of the grass. "Fuck you, you green pieces of shit!!!"

Joebear laughed. "Oh God..." he said.

"And another thing, my parents got a hot tub in the backyard. WHY?! They never use the goddamn thing!!! They used it once since we got it a month ago. It's a lot of work. Why?! I don't fucking use it because I hate being outside! I'm allergic to the goddamn water. GUESS WHO HAS TO CLEAN IT?! I DOOOOOO!!!!" Peter sung the "I DOOOOOO!!!!" part.

I chuckled and covered my mouth on and off camera again. Peter randomly singing when he is angry is always entertainment.

"It uses up the goddamn electricity, and they complain about the light bill. Jesus Christ my parents are illogical!!!!"

I shook my head and laughed for a second before stopping in the video.

Joebear and I giggled.

Peter sighed. "Then there's the bills! Jeez. Utility bills go up. Gotta pay property tax! Gotta deal with the Housekeeping Association," he said as he pointed the camera to me.

I waved in the video. "Hi. I'm an extra bill you have to pay every month JUST SO YOU CAN CONTINUE TO EXIST IN YOUR HOUSE," I said enthusiastically.

"You're an asshole, bae. Ahhehe!!" Joebear said with a bear chuckled. He kept smiling.

"Oh fuck you!" Peter said before he moved the camera away from me and continued to show the house. "Haha. It's ridiculous. Let me show you the inside. I'm not ready to deal with my obliterated duct hose and beyond-fucked gutter yet."

"He forgot to mention his roof rotting," I pointed out.

"Here's my parents' side of the house. Very relaxing. Very presentable! Very pretty. As you can see, there's a lot of woodwork, crown moulding, my parents have very nice taste... If a termite came in here, he would have an erection in two seconds. In fact, that's what happened at our last house. A termite had an erection and ate my house. Mother fucker," Peter ranted as his face was contorting into several expressions of rage and disgust.

I chuckled again off and on the video.

"As you can see, my parents have two skylights that THEY MAKE ME CLEAN BECAUSE OF THE BIRD SHIT AND THE TREE SAP... they hate me," Peter said with a defeated expression on his face.

My phone dinged in the background to notify me of life.

"I even FELL OFF THE GODDAMN ROOF AND THIS BITCH AND MY MOTHER'S VENUS FLYTRAP LAUGHED AT ME!!!" Peter said as he pointed the camera at me again.

I at this point started laughing to the fullest extent. He flicked me off in front of the camera.

I was cracking up in real life.

"God bae," Joebear said.

"... Fell off the fucking roof onto the wet muddy ground, and this bitch just continued to laugh at me," Peter continued.