#loooots of firsts for me in this drawing i hope it looks alright

[marrarts]

Here is my entry for @magicmooshka 's DTIYS challenge!!

I looked forward to reading the new GO GIRL GO! panels every day, it is such a funny, sweet, cute comic 💗 so I really loved participating in this challenge.

CHECK OUT THE ORIGINAL COMIC HERE !!

[krreader]

BTS scenario → inspired by without me by halsey - the aftermath.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; some have an open ending genre: angst previous: x

a/n: I’ll just yeet myself out of here now (: (masterlist is in my bio)

kim seokjin

“Doctor (Y/L/N)! You won't believe who your next patient is!” one of the nurses came running, then another, until three of them, all younger than you, were standing in front of you with the biggest grins ever.

“Is it.. an idol?” you smiled as well as you put down the file of the previous patient, knowing only all too well that the only time these girls reacted that way was when an idol was sitting in the emergency.

“Not just any idol, though! It's..-”

“No, don't spoil the surprise!” one of her colleagues nudged her, then turned her head to look at you, “Let us know if you need someone to draw blood or something.”

And while these three were arguing over who would be the one to get to touch the incredible idol that was apparently here, you just walked into the room he was in with a grin.

Maybe you should have read the fucking file first, though.

“Sorry it took so long, I'm Doctor..-”

“(Y/N)?”

Wow. Life must really hate you.

You had only cried in your car because of him last week and now he was sitting in the fucking hospital you were working at? Fantastic.

“Jin,” you blinked a couple of times, but tried to stay friendly, even if he could tell that the smile you showed him was fake, “How can I help you?”

“You.. became a doctor?”

“I did,” you opened the file and tried to focus on that instead of him, “So.. why are you here?”

He wanted to ask you so many questions. Wanted to know how you've been, how life had been and what you were up to nowadays. He wanted to know so much, but he felt like you weren't really interested in talking to him.

He couldn't blame you for it after what he had done.

So he quickly described his problems instead.

For a moment you thought about asking another doctor to come in here and take a look at him, but you didn't want to give him that. You wanted to show him that you were over it.

Yet, as you were walking closer to him, you realized once again that the promise you once made him to always love him was still standing.

“Breathe in,” you whispered, pressing the stethoscope against his naked chest. The first thing you realized was how fast his heart was beating. Probably just as fast as yours was. And you doubted that was because of a medical condition.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered back, staring at your face.

“Don't talk,” because it'll bring back all those memories. Because it'll break me again. Because it'll make me do something I might regret, “Just breathe..”

So he didn't say anything else. At least for now.

But once you figured out that everything was alright with him and that he just needed a break for a day or two because he was so exhausted, he couldn't help himself anymore.

“Can you please look at me?”

“I'm busy, so if there's nothing else,” but when you wanted to walk past him, he quickly stood in your way and made you look up at him. Finally.

“Please.. let's.. talk.”

“There's nothing to say, Jin. You left me for this life you are now leading.”

“I left you because I didn't want to drag you into this life with me. I wanted you to be happy.”

“Well.. didn't really work,” you tried to walk past him again, but he took a step to the side once more.

“I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped loving you, (Y/N). And.. I think you never did either.”

“You broke my heart, Seokjin,” you said straight away.

“And I'll never forgive myself for it,” he carefully cupped your cheeks and looked directly into your eyes, “But.. maybe I can heal it again.”

You knew it. You knew talking to him would make you do something you shouldn't do.

Because when the nurses from the ER knocked and peaked into the room, they found you and Jin kissing, all three of them staring at you with open mouths and disbelief in their eyes.

min yoongi

“We're very pleased it all worked out this way, Mister Min,” the previous owner of the apartment gave Yoongi the keys with a huge grin, “We hope this apartment will give you as much happiness as it gave my wife and me.”

“Thank you,” Yoongi bowed respectfully and waited until the old married couple was gone before he stepped into his new, luxurious apartment.

It was big, it was bright, it was everything he once wanted to own when he didn't have anything.

“We'll have this really big and fancy apartment one day,” he heard you laugh in the back of his mind, quickly shaking his head to get rid of the image, “And then we'll marry and have a loooot of children.”

“I think one will be enough,” Yoongi had laughed as he had pulled you closer in this tiny bed he and you used to sleep in when all you two had was each other.

'I did it, (Y/N),' he thought sadly as he walked into the bedroom and stared at the huge bed, 'I got our dream apartment.'

And even though he had been excited before, he sank down on the foot of the bed and started crying.

Because this was never what he wanted.

Not like this..

“Don't cry, baby,” Yoongi turned his head and looked into your eyes, knowing damn well that his mind was playing tricks on him again.

“I'm so sorry..”

“I always told you you'd make it, didn't I?”

“It wasn't worth it, though. I should have.. I should have just stayed in that shitty apartment with you and I should have married you and..-”

But when he blinked, there was nobody next to him. 

There never was.

Just an empty space that you used to occupy.

jung hoseok

“Hyung? We're going out to eat.. do you want to come with us?” Taehyung asked carefully, standing in the doorway to the balcony.

“No, I'm good. Enjoy yourselves, guys,” Hoseok grinned, trying his damned hardest to make it look convincing. And even if it didn't convince him, Taehyung decided to go either way.

Whatever it was that Hoseok had been dealing with these past days, he felt like he didn't want to talk about it.

And as soon as the apartment was empty, Hoseok pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, calling someone from his past that he never thought he’d talk to again.

“Hello?”

“Kira? Uh.. hey, this is.. Hoseok.”

A moment of silence, before Kira started laughing, “Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Please, I just need a minute.”

“You dump my best friend, don't talk to her for years without even giving her a reason and then you call me?”

“I saw her.. last week at the airport.”

“Yeah, she told me. She also told me how you just walked right past her like she was thin air.”

“What was I supposed to do? There were cameras everywhere!”

“What you were supposed to do was not break her heart, you fucking idiot. She did everything for you, she's the fucking reason you're where you are right now and you just leave her without a word! Do you know how long she cried about you? How often she called me in the middle of the night and bawled her eyes out? How often she stood in front of your fucking company and begged them to let her in because she needed to talk to you?”

Hoseok closed his eyes and let out a sigh, “I never wanted to hurt her.”

“You didn’t hurt her, Hoseok. You broke her.”

He knew he had, but hearing her say that made him almost let out a sob.

The thought of you lying in bed and crying over him, the one that he loved so much and the one that he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with once.. maybe still did.

“I want to apologize. To her.”

“I won't give you her number.”

“Kira, please..-”

“No. She almost fell back into that hole when she saw you last week, I won't let you drag her in there again. She worked so hard to finally get over you, I won't let you ruin it all again just because you finally realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life. (Y/N) will find a good guy one day, one that will see that she's the best thing he could ever have and will have a wonderful and happy life. And you're not that guy anymore, Hoseok.”

“I understand, really, I just want to..-”

“You don't have any rights anymore when it comes to her. She suffered enough because of you,” and with that, she ended the call.

And when he wanted to call her again a few minutes later, she had already blocked his number.

“Who was that?” you asked as you walked out of her bathroom, still drying your damp hair.

“Wrong number, I think,” she looked up at you with a smile, “Some weird guy.. I don't know.”

“Hm.. okay,” you smiled as well and walked into the kitchen, completely oblivious to who she had just talked to.

“It’s for the best,” she muttered to herself as she watched you make yourself some tea, still smiling.

kim namjoon

This was probably a really stupid idea and he would either cause you only more pain or would get slapped.

But he had to try.

And so with shaky hands and a bouquet of flowers, he pressed his finger against your door bell and waited a couple of seconds before you opened the door.

You looked confused at first who would show up at your doorstep so late, but when you saw who it was, your expression quickly turned into something else.

Hurt. It was always hurt.

“What do you want here?”

“I'm.. flying back to Seoul in three hours.”

“Good. Enjoy your flight.”

But when you wanted to close the door again, he quickly put his foot in between, “Please.. I need to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because.. I want to explain everything to you. Please, just let me say what I want to say and I promise that I will go straight away after that.”

Maybe it was that foolish girl inside you that you thought had died when he left you that opened the door a little wider after a few moments, or maybe it was just that part of you that finally wanted the closure you never got.

Whatever it was, Namjoon and you ended up sitting on your couch and you listened to him attentively.

“When BigHit decided that I would be the leader of our group, I knew that things would change for me. They told me straight away that if I agreed to it, I would have to put family and loved ones behind me. They would never come first again, because it would always have to be BTS that would have to be my number one priority. That's when I realized that I had to end things with you. Not because you weren't good enough anymore or whatever it is that you think, but because I loved you too much to make you not my number one priority anymore. The thought of you sitting at home and waiting for me to make an appearance hurt me so badly that I decided it would be better to break up with you. I figured that you would find someone better than me eventually that would treat you like I treated you before BTS.”

You blinked a couple of times before you said, “And why weren't you honest with me then? Why didn’t you tell me all that when you broke up with me?”

“I don't know,” he said honestly, “I would like to blame it on the fact that I was young and stupid and didn't know what I was doing half of the time, but.. the truth is that I just don't know.”

Just when you wanted to say something else, his phone started ringing.

Since it was on the coffee table you could see that it was his manager and you fully expected him to pick it up and just leave.

Instead, Namjoon declined the call and turned his phone on silent.

“I don't think you realize how much you hurt me, Namjoon,” you whispered.

“I do. That's why I'm here today. Because even if you'll never be able to forgive me, I wanted you to know that I never left you because I didn't love you enough or because you weren't worth it. Because, (Y/N), you were always worth more than anything else in my life and.. you will always be the only woman I'll love.”

He didn't expect you to jump into his arms and forgive him, even if he would have liked that.

But instead, you two talked for as long as you could and you didn't kick him out in the end, but waved him off instead.

And when he got a text from you about three weeks later asking him if he was doing okay, Namjoon felt like it was a good start.

park jimin

Before, Jimin enjoyed all of this. Touring, fan signs, talk show appearances. Everything that was part of the idol life.

But ever since he met you at that New Year's party, his life was a lot duller.

“I loved you so much,” he still remembered how you had cried when you had said that. And every time he remembered it, tears of his own started pooling in his eyes.

“Jimin? Are you okay?” Namjoon sat down next to him on the private jet, a worried look on his face.

Nobody knew about you. Not even his brothers.

Maybe it was time to change that.

“Do you ever regret this life, hyung?”

That worried Namjoon even more. The second his band members started talking about this topic was the second his alarm bells were going off, his mind already drifting to disbandment or one of the members leaving.

“Why?”

“I mean.. do you ever think about what your life would have been like if you hadn’t made certain decisions?”

“Sometimes,” he answered truthfully, “But then I remember how lucky I am to be here with you guys.”

Jimin turned his head to look out the window, the early morning sun shining into his face, “I had a girlfriend before all of this, you know? (Y/N).”

“You.. never mentioned her,” he mentioned a few other girls he was dating or interested in, but never (Y/N).

“Because.. she was the reason I became an idol. I was so self-conscious before her and she made me see that I could do it. She made me realize that I was good enough,” Jimin lowered his head and brushed his fingers over his knuckles, “When we became popular I let it get to my head. I broke up with her without even giving her a proper reason, because I thought that she wouldn't fit into my idol life.”

“Why are you thinking about all of this now?”

“I ran into her at the New Year's party we were at and I realized just how badly I hurt her. It.. made me realize how much I really loved her. How badly I once wanted to spend my life with her and how much she wanted the same,” Jimin laughed humorlessly and threw his head back against the seat, “And I just dropped her like she was nothing.”

“You had an opportunity, Jimin. She has to understand that.”

“But she did, hyung. She continued to support me throughout the first year after my debut, even if I barely had time anymore. And then when we started getting our first wins..-” Jimin shook his head, “For the first time in my life, I wish I could turn back time and not audition. I wish I had just turned around to look into her eyes instead, smiled, grabbed her hand and told her that I didn't need this. Because I only need her. I wish I had just chosen her.”

Namjoon got more alarmed by the second, but wanted to support his friend, not band member, more than anything, “Maybe you could find her when we get back? See if you can talk to her again.. maybe you can fix things between you two..”

He doubted it, honestly, but the thought of a possible happy ending between you two made him search for you and call you in the end.

It was worth a shot.

kim taehyung

“Why did you have to get a new bed again?!” Jeongguk moaned in exhaustion as he tried to move Taehyung's old bed to the side.

“Because the old one wasn't comfortable anymore. Now push!”

It took them at least fifteen minutes to push it to the side and then even longer to disassemble it.

And while Taehyung was busy with that, Jeongguk's eyes fell on a box that he found beneath the bed. A box that looked old and dusty and like it hadn’t been opened in a long time.

At first he wanted to laugh, wanted to tease his hyung about having found Taehyung's old porn stash, but when he opened the box it wasn't porn that he found.

“Kookie, can you get me..-” Tae turned his head around and found Jeongguk holding a picture of you and him in his hands.

“Who's that?”

“Nobody,” Taehyung quickly snatched it out of his hand and put it back inside the box, getting up to hide it in his closet like it was the most precious thing in the world, “And don't snoop around.”

He was too defensive. Jeongguk could immediately tell that there was something wrong.

“You.. looked happy in the picture.”

He was. The happiest he's ever been, probably.

“I'll marry you when we're older,” he had said with a grin that day.

“When you're an idol and we have a lot of money and can pay for a really fancy wedding?”

“Exactly!” he had grabbed your hands and kissed your knuckles, “Only the best for you.”

A sad smile spread on his face when he remembered the day, “I was.”

“Who.. is she?”

Taehyung had never talked about you. To anyone. But now he was sliding down his closet doors, the picture still between his shaky fingers.

“Her name's (Y/N),” Jeongguk didn't really know how much he should ask, but Taehyung opened up all on his own in the end anyways, “She was.. my first girlfriend. The reason that I auditioned.”

“You never mentioned her..”

Tae's fingers gently brushed over the picture, more specifically, over your face, “I wanted to marry her. I wanted to wait until I've had enough money to buy her a really expensive engagement ring and then I wanted to ask her.”

“She.. said no?”

“No. She would have said yes,” he smiled sadly, “I broke up with her. The company.. didn't think that (Y/N) would be good enough for me.”

“What?”

“They made me choose. Her or BTS.”

“You chose.. us?”

“There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, you know? About.. what she's doing, if she's okay.. if she's happy,” a lonely tear rolled out of Taehyung's eyes and dropped onto the picture, “I wanted to spend my life with her so badly, Kookie.. but back then.. I thought choosing BTS was the better option. I thought that I had worked too hard for it to ignore that opportunity. When in reality..-”

Jeongguk was by his side in an instant, pulling him against him and holding him as he was crying against his chest.

It meant a lot to him that Taehyung had told him all of this.

So much that he tried his damned hardest to find you over the next couple of weeks, just to make sure you knew how much Taehyung regretted his decision.

And finally...

“Hello?”

“Uh.. hi! Is this (Y/N)?”

“It is.. who are you?”

Jeongguk grinned from ear to ear, “A friend.. hopefully.”

jeon jeongguk

“I don't understand.. why did you never tell us about her?”

“I tried to forget about her as much as she tried forgetting about me,” Jeongguk said honestly, “I thought that it would be easier that way.”

“But you loved her!”

“More than you can imagine..”

Jeongguk had ran after you earlier, but you were too quick and you didn't want to talk to him anyways.

Unfortunately though all the feelings he once had for you came back now like a wave hitting him straight in the face.

Seeing you again made him realize that he never stopped loving you for even just a second.

“Maybe we can find out her number!” Jimin said, “You could call her again!”

“Or maybe you can ask her if she wants to come over! I'll cook for you guys!” Jin offered.

And it was kind of them to want to help like this, but this wouldn't be something that could ever get fixed as easily as they thought.

Jeongguk broke your heart and he doubted that he could piece it back together.

“I don't think that's a good idea. She deserves to be left alone after everything that happened.”

“She deserves the truth,” Yoongi said, “It's not like you dropped her because you didn't think she wasn't important anymore after we became successful and that's what she seems to think. You left her because you were afraid.. afraid of what might happen if people found out.”

“Doesn't matter now. It's been years.”

“I agree with hyung. She deserves the truth, Jeongguk. What she does with it is her decision.”

Maybe they were right.

Maybe it was worth a shot.

But it still took Jeongguk more than a month to finally find the courage to call you and ask you if you could see each other.

And even he was surprised when you had agreed.

“Why did you never say that? Why did you let me think you didn't love me anymore?” you asked when he told you the truth behind your break-up.

“Because I'm an idiot,” Jeongguk shrugged, “If I could do all of it again, I would be honest with you. All I can do now, is be honest with you now..”

And you appreciated that.

Even if it might not change anything.. but only time could tell..