#looking through the amount of art I've made during the different months is embarrasing
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This christmas continues draining all joy out of me leaving me feeling lazy, uninspired, dysphoric, envious and self-loathing all at once.
I just want to not be bored and tired and hate my guts.
Please, just for one minute.
#I am so tempted just to go to bed now so to end this miserable day#not talking about how much I've already slept for half a week#I feel like all I do rn is eat being moody and sleep#I feel bored yet unmotivated#putting on a brave smile for my mom so she doesn't see#and hating myself for that and for other reasons#I don't like who I see in the mirror rn#I wish I could just get the appointment with the gc doctor already so we can up my testosterone again#I don't like who I am articially either#I don't seem to draw anything great#or that anybody cares enough about what I do as well#looking through the amount of art I've made during the different months is embarrasing#close to nothing of substance since september#together with us now having reached the point I see mistakes in all art I've made as well#pathetic#sorry for the rant in the comments#I really dont know what to do about this mood#do I want a distraction or do I want some purpose back in my every day life?#please no existential crisis before the new year#micahs thoughts
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