#looking for art references and inspo is actually impossible now

[chloeangelic]

Heyyyy I just wanted to say I absolutely love your writing and if I had to pick one (which lbr is fucking impossible because everything you write is a work of art), "Seeking what is desirable" is it.

I love the way you write esp the unique world you build in each fic - I feel so connected to the "unhappily married teacher reader from NJ but now in Texas" despite the fact I have nothing in common with her except a gym membership and a lust for Joel Miller.

Also I've recently started watching Sopranos which I saw you mentioned before is partly an inspo for "Seeking" and I totally get it esp Jeremiah's mum being Ro inspired! Are there any other Soprano influences you've sprinkled into the fic?

Anyway, happy holidays (if you celebrate?) and I'm looking forward to your writing/next chapter, with zero pressure, whenever you're ready to share with us humble fans because we're happy to wait ❤️

hiii thank you so much 🤍🤍 congrats on starting sopranos, you are in for a RIDE hahaha its my fav show in the world. gwen is 100% janice inspired, like every time i write her i imagine janice saying her lines as a quality check hahahaha

jeremiah is tony inspired, though less... tony, haha. ladybug was supposed to be more carmela coded but i found the story more effective she didn't fit into her environment, and in that way she's slightly more adriana coded, considering she's sacrificed herself for jeremiah. their dynamic is a little bit chrissy/adriana tbh. otherwise, jeremiah and vivian being from NJ is a big one, but that was actually sort of an arbitrary decision, i was debating on whether he should be from NY or NJ.

actually, when i think about it - the interactions between ladybug, gianna and isabella later on are sort of sex and the city inspired. i'm very much a samantha irl and i think isabella is a lot like that too haha

since you clicked my ask button - the way it's formulated is a sopranos reference in itself; johnny sack always answers the phone by saying SPEAK !! love him haha

and ty! i do celebrate christmas haha though scandinavian xmas is very not-religious and is more like pagan xmas

ch 4 of seeking is coming on dec 26th!!!

[hexfloog]

2021 - 2022 - 2023 - 2024 - 2025

Here's my art summary for 2022! In 2021 I had hoped that the inspo kick would last well into the new year, and... here we are. I produced WAY more this year than I initially thought and actually ran into the strange dilemma of having too much to choose from for this template :0

What a year for art.

I think because of the slow speed at which I produce-- and the relative stylistic consistency of what I do make-- I tend to fall into this trap of thinking I'm not actually going anywhere with my work, but looking back at my portfolio... this really isn't the case.

To put it bluntly, I see improvement from last year to now in the form of risks.

I hit a lot of milestones and firsts since January: I drew another comic, dabbled in several projects in grayscale, drew plenty of complicated backgrounds (or "whole pieces," I suppose), put together at least one .gif sequence, made mockups for merch, made real merch, zine entries... And even beyond 2D work, I wired up my first custom model kit, experimented with new materials, archived an entire TCG set, put together another cosplay, and (maybe most significantly) started writing fic again!!

I'm genuinely surprised by my output. While this year was creatively fruitful, it was maybe one of the worst on my health-- and by extension, my funds-- all around (an ER visit, COVID, some Mystery Issue with my feet... still a mystery to this day, actually) so I am pretty stunned that I managed to tap as far as I did into my creativity overall, especially when compared to 2021, a year I also thought went surprisingly well for art. Deadlines and community events and contests all pushed me into making more than I would on my own terms, so challenging myself a little definitely paid off... who would've thought? >___<

(while shoving my 2022 body of work under the bed) On the flip side, it turns out that throwing my dignity to the wind and shamelessly indulging pushes me to create, too! How many Evil Conans can one person depict in a single year??

...On a more personal level, aside from challenging myself with external motivators I think I was only able to produce as much as I did on account of simply learning to love what I make the way I make it. The vast majority of what I drew this year falls into what I've been referring to (to myself) as "drafts." But they're not drafts as most people would think of them - they're just not fully-polished works. March/November are good examples - contrast against June/August, which are definitely "polished."

It's probably not that big of a deal to other people how I refer to my work in my own company, but this year I seem to have realized that thinking of it in this way-- dismissing the time and effort spent on any one piece as merely "unfinished"-- is actually quite harmful. I have a habit of being harsh on myself and to call these works "drafts" undermines the amount of effort I put into them, and for what? Because they're not "clean" enough for (my own, self-imposed) impossible standards? That alone implies that there's only one way a work can be for it to be good enough, when the truth is that no-one would be none the wiser if I called them "finished" instead.

That's not really to say that I would stop trying to achieve this high-effort "finished" standard since I can get the same amount of mileage for lesser effort or whatever. I don't operate that way, there's a lot of pride and self-esteem tied to my art and I subscribe pretty unconditionally to delivering something that I'm proud of. I guess the key here is that "high" standards should not be "impossible" standards.

Starting from March (probably right around the time of the first DCMK FF Server Exchange), as year the progressed I slowly started warming up to this idea that I don't have to make something perfect to "get credit" for creating it. Perfectionism is an itch I'm still learning not to scratch every time it calls for my attention. And, relating to the exchange, there's something about a gift well-received that puts my guard down, and maybe it's because I'm always bracing for the worst (some imagined rejection of effort, perhaps) that I don't really expect people to so plainly like things I don't consider "good enough" for myself.

I guess what I'm saying is it's probably not an epiphany I would have just had for myself one day. I really don't think I would have realized the inherent hurt in my system if people didn't indirectly point it out to me time and time again, whether that gushing over artwork to my face or in tags or whatever, so... for that I am very grateful T___T

On that note, it has been a rough year for me so I want to express my deep appreciation for everyone who has supported me, whether you're just an art appreciator or an internet buddy, whether you came for ponies or animal mecha or ducks or detectives, whether you've donated at any point or bought something from the shop, commissioned me, etc ;___; I appreciate you all very much and truthfully I would not be creating so much if I didn't think I had an audience who could enjoy it with me. Thanks from the bottom of my heart <3

Wishing everyone a creatively fruitful and healthy 2023!!

if you've gotten this far tysm for reading i'm very stingy about good feelings and being this saccharine about anything takes effort, capital E

[sleepgarden-archive]

✨ 🌹 5, 11, & 21 🦇 ✨

Hello! 💐!!!

5. favorite little detail in a drawing you did

This one is hard I think umm! I was happy with the "hidden" detail that my snake on the dagger illustration for mitya/teodoro is supposed to look like a rib cage with clavicle/sternum and spine. Here is it beside a wip screenshot I had taken that explains better lol:

Some other actual details I like are the heart from my "nursing a cavity" illustration, the 'lace' armour detailing on my knight illustration, how I drew the fine fur on my oc Miluše's face, and ummm Judeth's bum with little sting marks from Dana 🤭 (I think it's so cute I couldn't help but include it!)

11. artist(s) that influenced/inspired your art style

It's hard to say specific artists who have influenced or inspired my *style*. I reference real people (or marble statues) if anything, and textiles are usually referenced from historical techniques etc. I also save vintage/antique botanical, classical, medical, etc art for inspo generally. I'm really blanking trying to think of someone ;_; it's obviously impossible to never be influenced by what we see and like, and I don't mean to claim my style is 100% original. But I would say it's simply evolved this way bc of the things I surround myself with and engage with. My interest in vintage/antique illustration, dolls, fashion, exposure to other artists in general etc... is what has shaped my style. Sorry it's a bit of a lame answer ;_;

I will say style aside, over the past year I've discovered many trans artists through Twitter, and a few who draw trans masculine figures in a delicate way..? Which gave me confidence and comfort in my own art. Being able to actually connect and engage with some directly too was really special ;_; I miss twitter a little now talking about it lol.

Again sorry its a little lame of an answer! But in regards to my actual style, its really hard to say!!

21. what do you want to work on the most next

Well I've got a lot of gift art in progress atm, and an ongoing commission! But after im finished I really need to find my spark again. This time last year I was drawing constantly, and I was filling sketchbooks passionately with 0 problems. I have become emotionally dependant on drawing- but due to some extreme stress irl right now it's become nearly impossible. Not to get all gloomy ^^;; I desperately want to revisit my characters and create art for them, and to resume some illustration work again. (I have about 4 emotional illustrations I will probably have to scrap bc of my art block) another lame answer 😐😑... but it is what it is sometimes. Put bluntly I want to work on "getting back into it" 🤭

Thank you for sending! I got a little wordy there ahah o<-<