#looking back at our conversations got me crying since i talked so weird 💀💀

[q1ngqve]

waaf lannie ur selfship w zhongli looks so so adowable . . 🥺 would you tell me a bit about you two ?? how you met , how you fell in love . . :3 i hope ure having a sweet wednesday so far 🩷💞 i wub u so much !

i got carried away with this :( thank you for asking coco hehe ilysm (also not us sending each other selfship 💌 at the same time)

we met for the first time at the lantern rite festival! i was one of the performers (i play the pipa) during the performance i felt like he was staring at me so i looked and we made eye contact ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა thought he was weird though because he had an odd look on his face and his eyes were practically piercing through my soul

accidentally bumped into him when i was leaving backstage to meet up with ningguang and almost dropped my pipa (i was so angry) but when i looked up, it was him! apologized and asked if my pipa and i were okay (which made me giggle inside a little like who asks if the instrument is okay except for musicians) told him i was fine and he said my performance was really good and was wondering when he can listen again :( told him i wasn’t a full time performer and i only do it when the elders from the group ask me to for special events

bumped into each other for the second time on the streets while i was walking around with ningguang and she officially introduced us! which is where he found out that my father is the top general of the millelith 😋 met again when he came over to our house because my parents invited him over, and i found out that they’re friends??? had a long conversation with him when both my parents passed out from all the baijiu they had with him (while he looked completely fine 💀)

because of them being friends, i get to see him almost every week and my parents would try to set me up with him as a joke ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎ eventually the joke turned into me developing real feelings for him and i would avoid him whenever he came over to our house (i gave so many stupid excuses)

i wasn’t sure if he liked me back and i wasn’t ready to risk it :( i just know that he says weird stuff about the past to me and tells me it’s okay if i’ve forgotten (???) and sometimes he looks at me weird (not in the bad way) overhead him talking to a short green haired guy one day while i was out at wangshu inn…didn’t mean to though but that’s how i found out that he’s THE morax. a GOD. OUR GOD. the god that i pray to every morning. the god that i’ve been obsessed with since i was a kid.

and then i ran because who wouldn’t in this situation 😭 but of course they heard me and the green haired guy ‘dragged’ me back and i was trying so hard not to cry like please i don’t wanna die 😭 he made the green haired guy leave us because he was also looking at me weird and then i realized that he was an adepti lmao 😜 asked me what i heard and i said i didn’t hear anything but he sat me down and told me it was okay, he wanted me to know sooner or later anyway

explained everything to me but i was confused because why did they both look at me weird and why does he keep bringing up things i don’t understand from the past (╹ -╹)? told me i looked exactly like his lover from back in the pre archon war days (shocking!) deduced that i am probably reincarnate because i’ve appeared at least 5 times throughout his life and said he’s been searching for me :(

also asked me about why i was avoiding him and i told him that it was because i had feelings for him and i was afraid he would reject me :( and the only reason i told him at that moment was because he told me he has been searching for me for his whole life so i felt like that was the best time to tell him! asked him if wants to be with me again in this life (the most confident i’ve been) and he said yes (hehe)

[slytherinshua]

Sorry I meant to reply to your last message (I have a terrible habit of being social and then go radio silent for like a week after ahaha). I listened to a few of Hyunsang's songs and oh my goodness, genuinely is he ok?? They were really good and I loved them, but all the ones I heard were so sad?? Does he need a hug?? Who do I have to beat up?

Your post about people is so true though, it's honestly so hard to make friendships (or even just be nice to some people tbh). Sometimes you just don't vibe with a person, but I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean irl, there is someone in my friend group who I just don't vibe with at all, but all of my friends really like him and enjoy hanging out w him. It is quite hard sometimes to be friendly ahaha (it does make me feel like a horrible person tbh, but what can you do? But I think the whole thing of how he got into our friend group is a bit strange. Without context it sounds bad, but I promise it is genuinely kinda weird lol). But definitely if you ever find that our convo is too dry or weird, don't hesitate to tell me!! I think sometimes you have to prioritise your comfort and if the other person is willing to change, then that's probably a good sign!

I hope you are doing well! (I watched another clip from a Lucy concert and got jealous of you again 😡)

lol don’t worry at all!! LMAO STOP IJBOL 😭😭😭 it’s so true whenever i listen to hyunsang im like WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS BOY?? imagine debuting with an ep titled “my poor lonely heart” AND EXPECTING PPL TO THINK UR FINE DIDJKS 😭😭 and if you watch any live performances or his covers HIS EYES LOOK SO SAD WHILE HE SINGS LIKE HE COULD CRY AT ANY MOMENT ☹️☹️☹️ so literally when he smiles I melt so much cause I’m not used to it anyway he’s so cute and I love him and his emo music and pretty voice 🥹🥹

yeah I feel it a lot lately cause I always want to be nice to everyone especially if they talk to me on my blog but if we don’t click after a bit of talking I feel awkward 😭😭😭 and they’ll keep messaging me and then idk what to do cause the conversations are literally like “hi hru” “I’m good wbu” AND THATS IT 💀💀💀 damn that must suck I’m sorry that’s a thing 😭😭 it’s even harder when it’s a friend group situation cause you can’t just stop talking to one person if they still have connections to all your other friends and you also can’t bring it up with your other friends cause they won’t see the problem :( but don’t worry our convos have been anything but dry since you first sent me an ask 🥹🥹 I love talking abt lucy or anything else with you I could do it all day lmao

I’m doing pretty good!! I have my first piano lesson in like 2 days.. I’m really nervous for it because it’s my first one in over a year since I took a break and it’s with a new teacher. I had lessons with her for a bit in 2020 but they were mostly over zoom because of covid. these ones are in person and I haven’t had in person lessons since 2019 🧍‍♀️ I also haven’t practiced piano since last year when I was taking lessons and even then I feel like I didn’t practice at all between lessons cause I was losing motivation.. so realistically I probably haven’t practiced properly and consistently for 2 years fml 😭😭 but hopefully everything will go well. I’m hoping I’ll like this teacher again I don’t really remember having an opinion on her when I had her 4 years ago, but I remember switching back to my old piano teacher who had moved to England since I was doing online lessons anyway. I’ve had her for around 6 years total so I’m very comfortable with her she’s basically made me the pianist I am today lol. but I think in person lessons would be beneficial which is why I’m trying this out instead.

I have nothing to help you about the jealousy but I did get the group photo back recently (kinda sad they didn’t give us 2 cause we did take 2 and I was so nervous when the first pic was taken that I didn’t have a pose and sangyeop was telling me that he was gonna do a flower pose and I didn’t know wtf a flower pose was until a day later when it clicked in my head LKSJSKS) but I am the one w the pink heart and yes I was RIGHT next to sangyeop and wonsang aka my bias and wrecker skdjsksk how did I survive

[korojoika]

Hey koro! Its keopi! Im glad that updating ur blog sometimes! Sorry btw for the times I was weird in a bad way. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I was thinking, maybe my dumb 16 self was more confident and more respectful, I would have been still very good friends with you... You're a good friend. Byebye! God bless you!

OMG KEOPI IS IT RLLY YOU?

Its been so long since we last talked, i really miss those times. Also please dont apologize, I probably should've been the one to apologise since i was a rlly weird kid.

Plus i do still consider you as a friend, i just don't know how to contact you anymore. Maybe we can talk sometimes like before? If you want.