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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years ago

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we are our family, even if we don’t want to be.

Titans 3.07

a bit over halfway through the season, and we still don’t have all of our main characters on the board! i love this show.

as always, typing this up as i watch. live reaction, baby! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. i don’t think i’ve mentioned this before, but i kinda miss the old ‘dc universe’ intro. it was cool! the whole idea of it was wild and waaaaay over-ambitious, but also very very on-brand because of it.

2. this is... the third time we’ve seen dick sleeping this season? that’s a record! checking another thing off my s3 wishlist...

2.5. i guess i rag on titans all the time for its wafer-thin plotting and bad pacing, but i have to admit that this season has been a step-up from the last one in this regard. titans has very reactive rather than proactive protagonists, and a lot of the last season seemed to be: x happened, the team reacted badly, then y happened, they reacted badly, etc. this time around, it’s not a huge leap up by any means, but at least they’re doing something about it.

i do appreciate the focus on character arcs over everything else. and when i say everything else, i mean it: arcs that started two seasons ago with no big cathartic moments, intermittent payoff and multiple relapses. big bads have ranged from interdimensional demons to superpowered assassins to whatever in the world scarecrow is, but trigon’s big weapon against the titans was to... use their worst fears against them. slade’s was to... use their fears to break them up. crane’s is to... use red hood to use their fears to break them up. even the threat of gotham’s citizens being in danger doesn’t feel real: gotham is mythologised into an entity of its own, infecting our heroes like a parasite. like. this is not to say that most other superhero media aren’t big character arcs intertwined with the main plot, but titans doesn’t even make pretend that it’s anything but.

anyway. that’s my entry #2345 to ‘give a grand unifying theory for titans’. thanks. i’ll be back with more.

3. “anger is just fear in a little black dress.” god I HATE HIM

(what’s he doing with barbara’s likeness? oh... oh god. a terrible thought just occurred to me. what if they introduce hush at the very last minute for plastic surgery shenanigans? would you put it past this show?)

3.5. jason, nooooooooo

3.75. i mean, they’re making it very clear here that scarecrow is the one in control--the one who’s always been in control--and is manipulating jason and literally poisoning him, but i hope it doesn’t end up erasing nuance or jason’s autonomy. if jason’s to reckon with the issues that brought him here, then the lines of responsibility will need to be set somewhere.

(this applies to dick as well but more on that later, i guess.)

4. just--the phrase “40% loss of income” is so funny to me. like, gotham is full of these larger-than-life characters who are idiosyncratic beyond belief, colourful and dramatic and creating chaos just for the sake of chaos, and then there’s the regular criminals and their henchmen who just want to make a quick buck sitting down with pie charts and graphs, griping about the joker reducing their returns or debating high risk investments in, i don’t know, two-face’s next scheme.

“yyyyeeeeeaaah, my financial advisor is telling me that going all-in with a guy who literally makes decisions on the flip of a coin is probably not the greatest idea.”

4.5. god i hate smug!smarmy!scarecrow so much

4.85. as big plans to “control” gotham go, it’s pretty bog-standard. clearly scarecrow has some bigger plan in mind but it really feels like we’ve got no clear insight into him and he’s this generic creepy mystery-man who knows more than he lets on and springs a twist/cliffhanger every now and then. i liked the scenes with him and dick in 3.04 where it seemed like he was genuinely on the backfoot and things weren’t going as he predicted. for all of his faults, dick is at least familiar with scarecrow’s bullshit and knows not to give what he wants.

5. i mean... i see where dick is coming from with the “he’s not jason anymore; he’s red hood” because his immediate glaring concern is scarecrow’s drug and the damage it could potentially cause gotham? i do not doubt that it’s something batman drilled into him, too, but when you’re expected to take point on a situation where the lives of an entire city weigh down on your shoulders, it’s better to simplify things and prioritise. i’m not saying it’s great or healthy! gar is absolutely right to consider this facet of the situation. it’s just dick can’t.

6. hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMMMMMMM.

i don’t know that i’m super fond of this iteration of oracle???? it looks like a cross between cerebro from x-men and jarvis from iron man. it’s giving me second-hand embarrassment. somebody help me.

(at least they remembered dick’s middle name is actually “john”. i like to think bruce printed D in that contract because for a while he genuinely thought richard “dick” grayson was his full name. duck duck goose, dick dick grayson, i don’t know alfred, the kid was in a circus, maybe they thought it was funny. or maybe it was a test in anger control, who knows.)

6.5 “maybe you two would like some time alone?” even AI can’t help hitting on dick grayson in this universe.

“oh mr grayson, if i only had another eye to see you better...”

6.8. on one hand, it’s a bit disconcerting that the title of ‘oracle’ has gone from barbara herself to this gigantic machine; from my impression of the comics-verse, barbara had an extensive computing and surveillance system, true, but she was very clearly the brains behind the operation. on the other hand, i’m kind of glad that the ethical boundaries that this kind of surveillance violates is a sticking point for barbara. (tho let’s be real, the nsa would kill to have this in their arsenal).

6.9. also it’s now obvious that scarecrow’s big plan is to take control of oracle itself. it’s why he had lady vic take that picture of her eyes, or why he’s meddling around with it on his computer.

6.95. if only i could ‘command sleep’ anybody overstepping their boundaries re: personal information...

7. “you can just sit back and watch as the titans destroy themselves.” i mean... he’s not wrong

8. “dick’s parents were killed by a criminal mob; he won’t work with them.” it’s wonderful that you have this insight into dick, kory, i just wish we could’ve watched some of these conversations actually happen on-screen.

8.5. i’m glad that kom’s being treated with such nuance and understanding, though it’s obvious that she definitely has a Plan of her own. (and did i entirely imagine her ability to mimic other people flawlessly at the end of s2? or is that going to come into play at some point?) i think her story has the potential to be genuinely poignant, and in a universe where being Different, either because of mental health or physical differences or whatever else, leads a straight line to Evil, it’s important to acknowledge and then emphasise that the mere fact of your existence as a Different Person doesn’t predispose you to evil. maybe your act of destroying a system that has destroyed you and not scrambling to “fit in” is only evil as defined by that system.

8.8. “you’re trespassing, i should call the authorities, i feel unsafe.” now this is a villain lady who’s definitely aware of her privilege.

8.85. kom smirking knowingly at her sister is everything.

“oooh that’s the kory i remember”

9. conner and dick working together woo!

9.25. god i hate a villain who’s always just a step ahead, no matter what. so crane anticipated dick using oracle to track his personal communications and set him up? how did he know when exactly dick would get to do this? how long did he have that poor man tied up in that van?

(the “save me, grayson” is a nice touch, tho. send dick spiralling even further! because if there’s one thing dick will do, it’s take responsibility for every goddamn thing that goes wrong.)

9.5. ahem. i’m going to need a million gifs of conner yeeting dick across that yard, fandom, thankyouverymuch.

(i understand conner is invulnerable to explosions, but how do his clothes survive??)

9.8. oooh crane is already in oracle! i’m just sitting here laughing helplessly because they’re overpowering this goddamned guy so much. he can build a lab in arkham’s basement! he has access to lazarus puddles! he has minions working across gotham, including a fully functional chemical laboratory staffed by chemists who only answer to him! he has the crime families of gotham quailing in his very presence! he has assassins at his beck and call! he’s enough of a manipulative bastard to have red hood under his thumb! and now he has enough of a tech know-how to not only be aware of oracle, but know how to hack into it! i’m sick of exclamation marks! i’ll shut up now!

9.95. dick leaving behind that smouldering grave for a person he failed to save without taking a second to process how he feels about it and running towards his next plan to corner scarecrow: a microcosm of where his head’s at right now.

10. really hammering in the themes of this season, aren’t we.

10.25. the interesting thing is the titans repeatedly call themselves a family this season (none more so than dick) and while that found family has helped encapsulate and put away their traumatic experiences with their ‘original’ families, it’s meant that they’ve not really dealt with those issues. and dick and gar and jason come from ‘found families’ of their own: they are twice removed, traumatised two times over. they still cling to this identity however, and because of it they’re losing each other. a family isn’t static. it’s an ever-evolving dynamic and you have to put in work constantly to keep it healthy.

10.5. anyway, that’s entry #2346. i’m here aaaalll night.

11. lookit gar the detective! half-transforming and using his powers to deduce things! what a hero! i’ve said this for a long time, but gar is the bedrock of this team, and an unsung one at that.

11.25. i’m confused about him calling this room jason’s though. it seems to me that this is dick’s room that jason later used, and one that dick’s using now. so the unmade bed isn’t really jason’s fault; dick was woken by barbara that morning, and in his hurry, he left without making his bed.

(it still confounds me that bruce didn’t find jason another bedroom in that gigantic mansion of his. you really didn’t give this kid a chance, did you?)

12. oh well. so much for the oracle.

13. ... sorry, wait. you didn’t think i wasn’t going to address the bit with dick right now, did you?

12.5. i honestly don’t think it’s very complicated: dick’s been reeling from one traumatic thing to the next, and just when it seemed like at the beginning of the season, he felt happy and secure with his team and his place in the world, bruce ups and leaves gotham to him, specifically naming him a successor and calling him a ‘better batman’. he’s lost garth and jericho and donna and jason and now hank and dawn. he’s not even sure where rachel is or what she’s doing. after being told that batman was a psychopath for moulding him into a weapon, he’s also been told that his failure to be a ‘better batman’ lead to further disaster. of course he’s going to get batman-goggles. of course he’s going to be a prick.

12.8. i don’t know what to say. i feel his frustration acutely. i don’t think he should’ve said what he said to barbara (can people stop pushing her around this season????) but that pressure to step in where your parent fails? to clean up their messes and try to think like them? to fall into habits drilled into you when you developed them as coping mechanisms growing up? I FEEL THAT.

every step he’s taking he’s putting 110% of himself in it and scarecrow’s still playing mindgames with all of them: i absolutely feel his desperation to take control of that game and turn it on scarecrow, no matter what it takes.

and he did apologise almost immediately, and finally--finally--actually works with barbara.

12.9. again, not excusing him! but i get it. and i think that’s a sign of great character writing.

“did you know i just reminded emmram of all of her daddy issues? what the fuck????”

12.95. i love that dick&barbara, kory&kom, and gar are all approaching solving this mystery from different angles, each as valid as the other. also, conner is there as... emergency bomb defuser man?

13. it’s like all fancy rich people in fancy rich houses do is pour fancy rich alcohol into fancy rich glasses on pristine, untouched tabletops. i wonder what it’s like to live like that.

13.25. I KNEW IT! poor michael. it was nice knowing you.

13.5. man, kory is contending with a lot of issues that she’s successfully bottled up and compartmentalised until now. the cold reality that a child can seek out their parents as refuge and they can view the child as a piece to be moved in a greater game (never out of cruelty, though, never, and somehow that makes it worse), that truth of blackfire’s treatment on tamaran because she’s different, and her own culpability in what happened. she exchanged one family for another, after all, and left that family to die and her sister to suffer. like dick, like gar, kory’s being forced to reckon with what the titans are meant to be, the larger implications of creating their found family in their own space.

14. it’s probably because it’s one in the morning and i’ve had two glasses of wine but i did not follow that bit of exposition at all and victor freeze??? what?

anyway. look at them solving things! together! go team!

“you made a deal with the mob?” oh the sense of betrayal on his face! fuck off, dick, your issues aren’t kory’s.

15. conner is really sweet and a bit of an awestruck crush on kom is to be expected. especially after that power rangers-esque transformation (i say this as a former huge power rangers fangirl. i’ve seen every series until 2007 including the original japanese versions and written fanfic for all of them. so i love a cool costume transformation, is what i’m saying.)

also?

FUCK YEAH

16. i love the gotham crime families just chillin’ around eating ice cream. I LOVE THEM

16.5. that was a fun fight sequence, if marred slightly by that bit of awkward flirting between conner and kom. i wonder if she’s really planning to use him in a larger scheme to get kory back to tamaran, or maybe something else.

16.75. so i’m assuming that scarecrow has jason either so paralysed by fear that he can barely move, or jason’s withdrawing from the drug that he’s been sucking in every few minutes.

17. it’s nice to see them chill after a successful mission! and it can be awkward, but conner’s crush on kom and him striving to impress her is also, well, uh... cute.

17.5. i guess the dick/barbara scene was inevitable, especially given the... unresolved nature of their relationship in the flashbacks? and they’ve been through a rollercoaster together this episode, discovering and then destroying an incredible tool within a matter of hours, re-discovering just how well they work together as a team. dick’s swimming in the nostalgia. i don’t expect it to last as a long-term relationship, but i totally get why this is happening now. and hey, they’re cute!

i have a weeeirrrrd feeling that kory is going to leave to tamaran at the end of the season and that dick and kory will rekindle--or rather realise--their relationship just before that. it’s going to be devastating and beautiful and painful and i will be writing essays about it which would be me just wailing into the screen.

18. gar found molly!!!!!!! MOLLY’S BACK! \o/ gar is the BEST

19. that was a fun episode! i love this silly show, even if it does destroy me sometimes <3

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #dick grayson #barbara gordon #koriand'r #komand'r #garfield logan #jonathan crane #conner kent #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years ago

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one expensive can of easy cheese

crack head hours my kids

also inspired by a hot guy i saw at walgreens today

the walgreens chaos returns

______

ship: ralbert

genre: crackhead angst

words: who knows, not super long

warnings: mentions of a twine kink, easy cheese, concussions, walgreens, race thinks another guy is hot, uhhh, hot men in scrubs, minor bits of violence, new yorkers been new yorkers, albert is a dumbass, race is more of a dumbass

editing: nah

_____

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese.

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do). So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place.

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat, he was able to dislodge the duct tape.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?”

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick. “Hmmmmmmm. No.”

“But-!” He wriggled around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!”

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell.

“Can you at least untie me then?”

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time.

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?”

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists.

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.”

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.”

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.”

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!”

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all.

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese.

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when-

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled around to see Mr. Man Candy himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!”

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese.

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?”

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!”

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.”

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick. “Buy some fucking vegetables!”

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame.

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?”

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.”

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.”

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.”

______

that was a ride

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rawiswhore · 5 years ago

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JJ Feild x Fem Reader- “Rainbow Party” Part 4

Your legs and the upper half of your body lifted up from the ground, your legs standing straight, so did the upper half of your body (i.e. your head and torso).

It was time to move onto the next man.

The next man you wanted to pleasure was the JJ Feild in "Turn: Washington's Spies" lookalike.

When you walked towards him, you noticed the way he looked now.

His hair was completely hanging down, not tied up in a bow, and his shirt and vest were completely unbuttoned.

He looked even sexier with his hair down than when it's tied up, but you already know that, considering you've fucked him before.

Women were surrounding him and all over him, running their hands all over his bare chest, kissing his chest and his lips.

One woman was in between his knees giving him a blowjob.

And speaking of women, your eyes looked around at the room, looking at all the men in the room.

Some of the women previously in the room had left, they're all finished kissing these men by now.

You don't know what to do to him now that there's these women busy being all over him, one woman's kissing his lips while another woman's giving him a blowjob.

Guess you'll just have to sit there and wait until a woman leaves.

Even though you would love to make out with him and do other things with him, you want to save the blowjob for later.

You just stood there, right next to him, your arms folded across your chest, watching these other women pleasure him.

One of these women kissing him, his chest at least, looked at you.

"Do you want to join us?" she asked, trying to sound loud for you to hear her.

"I do, yes" you replied. "But...one woman's already kissing his lips, another woman is performing fellatio on him, I don't know what to do".

The woman giving him a blowjob and the woman kissing his lips heard what you said.

They both paused at what they were doing.

"Did you just start kissing him?" you asked the woman kissing his lips.

"No" she replied, and went back to kissing his lips, one of her hands holding the side of his chin while the other hand was running through his fingers.

Even though there were women all over him, you noticed his neck, especially the middle of his neck, seemed to be empty.

You did want to kiss him there.

Meanwhile, the woman who was sucking his dick ended up leaving, lifting herself up and his cock eventually left her mouth, where she moved on to the next man to pleasure.

One of the women who was kissing the side of his neck and rubbing his chest with her hand then moved herself down in between his legs, where she put some more lipstick on and proceeded to give him a blow job.

Now's my chance!

But...to put on lipstick or to not put on lipstick?

Hmmmmmmm...

Maybe there might be a lipstick kiss on his neck when you kiss him there.

Your neck pulled your head and face closer into his neck, where your lips slightly opened.

Once your lips touched the top and bottom of his Adam's apple, you began to gently suck on his Adam's apple.

The tip of your tongue poked out of your mouth, where it began to tease his Adam's apple.

Your lips were kissing his Adam's apple like you kiss men's lips.

This was very sexually arousing for him, he moaned in the woman he was kissing's mouth, the hair on his arms was standing erect, although you couldn't see the hair on his arms standing up due to him wearing long sleeves.

Meanwhile, the woman who was kissing his lips now stopped kissing him, where she moved herself down from his lips to one of his nipples, where she began sucking his right nipple.

Once he noticed there was a woman no longer kissing you, he tapped your shoulder with his finger.

You suddenly jolted and paused at kissing his Adam's apple.

"She isn't kissing me now" he said to you. "Do you want to kiss me now?"

"Me?" you asked, pointing to yourself and pulling yourself a few inches away from his neck.

Your eyes looked at the middle of his neck where his Adam's apple is.

A faint kiss mark on his Adam's apple, that kiss mark was yours. You basically marked your territory there.

"Yes, you" he replied, looking at you.

A smile spread across your face in excitement and happiness.

"I take it as a yes" he said, smiling back. "Looking at the smile on your face".

You nodded, a smile on your face.

Your face pulled into his face, where your lips landed on his lips, enclosing his lips in a kiss.

His lips tasted like lipstick, so did your lips, for that matter, which wasn't the best taste ever.

One of his hands moved behind your head, where his fingers wove through your hair, his hand pulling your head and face close into his own face.

And speaking of hands, one of your hands went behind his head, where your fingers wove and ran through his dirty blond locks.

He moaned in your mouth while you were kissing him, all thanks to some chick giving him a blowjob in between his knees.

Your tongue snuck into his mouth, where your tongue tried teasing his tongue.

He felt your tongue in his mouth, his tongue was in your mouth and your tongue was in his. Can I make it any more obvious?

Your tongue and his tongue clashed together, just like your lips did with his, touching and wrestling each other.

Your lips made lip smacking noises once they parted, only to be joined again.

Meanwhile, the girl below him giving a blowjob, his penis left her mouth eventually, where she lifted herself up from the ground and moved onto the next guy.

While she might be finished giving fellatio to him, that doesn't mean it's your turn to suck his dick.

Besides, a woman who was previously kissing him now crouched down on her knees in between his knees, where she put another coat of lipstick on and began sucking his cock.

You then pulled your face away from his face, breaking the kiss.

"Would you like to suck my breasts?" you asked him, putting one of your hands down your corset and pulling one of your breasts out.

His eyes grew wide seeing one of your breasts out of your corset.

He hasn't really done this to any women yet, but he could give it a try.

Judging by his facial expression, he definitely wanted to do this.

A grin spread across his face, and that grin indicates "yes".

"Yes" was the words out of his mouth.

You figured he'd agree to this, looking at his eyes grow wide and smiling.

One of your hands held that breast that "crept" out of your corset, where you pushed that breast towards his mouth.

He opened his mouth and wrapped his mouth around your nipple, sucking and enclosing your nipple with his mouth a bit tightly.

Your clit was buzzing and your areola felt tingles, courtesy of him sucking your nipple.

One of your hands moved behind his head, where, while it was lifting up to the middle of his head, your fingers wove through his thick, dirty blond hair.

Your hand pulled his head closer into your breast, where he sucked your nipple like a baby breastfeeding.

Although, he was about to do something that isn't something babies usually do.

His tongue crept out of his mouth, where it landed on your areola, and licked around in circles over and over again.

The hair on your arms stood up, your eyelids shut, shielding your eyes, and your mouth was slightly agape.

Endorphins traveled through your body, especially towards your clitoris.

He moaned on your breast, especially on your areola, where his breath smothered your areola.

His breath was so warm, and his hot breath warmed your clit even more.

He was kissing your areola and nipple like he was previously kissing your lips.

His lips were enclosed tightly on your nipple, bobbing his head slightly up and down while sucking your nipple.

Some other women had joined this JJ Feild lookalike, where they began kissing his neck and chest, leaving their kiss marks on his chest.

Meanwhile, the woman in between his legs sucking his cock, his cock left her mouth, where she lifted herself up from the floor.

She got behind you and tapped you on the shoulder.

Your eyes suddenly opened and looked at her.

"Sorry, but I'm finished giving him fellatio" she said. "Would you like to fellate him next?"

Is that even a question? Hell yeah!

I know this JJ lookalike is enjoying sucking your breasts, but maybe he can suck another woman's tits while you give him head.

"Yes" you replied, smiling at her.

You pushed yourself away from his face, where his nipple left your mouth.

His eyes suddenly opened.

"That woman is done giving you fellatio" you said, pointing to the woman who previously gave him head. "And I'm next to fellate you. Sorry if you were enjoying sucking my breast so much, maybe you could suckle one of these other women's breasts".

One of the women perked up when she heard how this JJ lookalike could suck her breasts.

"You have to tie her corset before you suckle one of her breasts" you said. "Or maybe one of these women could untie her corset".

"I'll help untie her corset!" cried the woman who previously gave him head.

She then walked to this woman who was next to have her tit sucked, where her hands, specifically her fingers, were untying her corset.

Meanwhile, you walked over to in between his knees, where you lowered your body all the way down to the ground, your knees crouching down on the ground.

Even though you left a kiss print on his Adam's apple, you need to put another coat of lipstick on your lips.

You opened your purse and looked inside for your lipstick.

Once your eyes found your lipstick, you pulled that lipstick out of your purse and popped the cap open.

Your index finger and thumb twisted the lipstick tube over and over again, until the red lipstick rose out of the tube.

You directed your hand toward your lips, where you dragged your lipstick across your upper and top lip, recoloring your lips again to a fuller red.

The type of red where you can completely see a full lipstick ring around his dick.

You could put lipstick on even without looking in a compact's mirror or in front of a mirror.

You then twisted the lipstick's tube over and over again downwards, until the lipstick crawled back into its little hole again, and putting the cap atop of it shielded the lipstick.

You then put your lipstick back in your purse and locked your purse.

Now it's time to get to business!

Your face moved slowly closer and closer into his penis, where your mouth slowly opened as your face got closer to his dick.

His cock entered your mouth, where you enclosed your mouth above a ring of lipstick on his shaft.

With that, you then began sucking his cock, but without bobbing your head up and down his shaft.

His cock didn't taste like lipstick, at least the upper part of his dick that didn't have lipstick rings around it, but did taste a bit salty.

Maybe some woman gave him head and sucked the cum off of his dick.

He moaned while you gave him head, he was busy sucking some chick's tit, his breath warming her areola and nipple.

Tingles were traveling through his body, and he could nearly dig his fingers into something while you fellated his cock.

The skin on his body felt so warm and hot under his clothes, he could nearly take his clothes off from you sucking his cock.

One of his hands, specifically his fingers, were gripping into the chair's arm rests.

Your breath was warming the upper part of his cock up.

This made him feel so good, so good, he could nearly cum.

Your mouth suddenly opened and widened more and more, where your face and head pulled away from his cock, his penis leaving your mouth.

You did this so your lipstick won't smear the top of his penis.

A new ring of your lipstick was now added around his shaft, that ring being yours!

#jj feild #fanfiction

0 notes

sanctferum · 7 years ago

Text

Investigation time...Deadly Life chapter 2!

So, at the beginning I made some predictions about who would make it to the end...so far, half of the people I thought would survive till the end are dead. Rantaro, Kaede, and Ryoma...this is bullshit, I tell you. If Maki is the culprit, that’d leave only Angie and Gonta from that initial list...but from a meta perspective, Kaito seems to be the likeliest blackened. From a non-meta perspective, he mentioned Ryoma being famous, with the word famous emphasized in yellow text, and then that wasn’t brought up again, which is suspicious. And if Monodam did what I think he did, Kaito could have checked the Kub Pad in his room and obtained a motive. Kaito buddy-copping with us could be part of an effort to misdirect us.

Gonta blames himself for not being able to save Ryoma...but Shuichi points out that Ryoma was already dead by that point. Strangely enough...Gonta didn’t see Himiko OR Ryoma inside the tank when he went up on stage.

Gonta first saw Ryoma in the tank at the same time as everyone else...so how did Himiko get out, and Ryoma get in?

There’s Kokichi, and a light panel, but nothing useful from either of them. Tsumugi has some fictional backstory that she’s thinking of, so no help there.

Miu wants to know what the deal with Gonta capturing people last night was. If I remember correctly, Gonta implied she flashed her privates at him and escaped while he was blushing. Kaito also managed to evade Gonta somehow. Kokichi imprisoned the first captured group in the bug lab, and later, at around 8:55 PM or so, Gonta brought in Angie and Himiko. Everyone in the lab had an alibi between 9:00 PM and 11:00 PM. Which leaves Kaito, Kirumi, Maki and Ryoma without alibis...though Kokichi shouldn’t have an alibi either, when you think about it. And Miu has no alibi either.

So, in that case, the ones without an alibi at that time are Kaito, Kirumi, Maki, Ryoma himself, Kokichi, and Miu.

Angie doesn’t know how Himiko’s trick worked. Kaito and Keebo helped her move the water tank and stairs from the Ultimate Magician Lab to the gym. Kirumi sewed the curtains. And Atua did nothing but gets all the credit anyways.

The tank had a pulley system, and Angie considerd the show a success, despite Ryoma’s corpse showing up and being eaten. The piranhas were Angie’s idea, to spice up the show...

The piranha tank and the timer were from the Mage Lab as well, and were synced up.

After everything was set up, it was time to rehearse, but then Gonta grabbed Angie and Himiko and a rehearsal became impossible.

You can’t enter the gym at night-time...and we would have noticed if the window to the pool was broken, right?

How would anyone have been able to get into the gym in between night-time starting and Angie and Himiko arriving right after night-time ended?

Himiko is depressed because her show was supposed to make everyone smile...

She refuses to tell anyone how the trick worked...but it couldn’t have been magic, so...

Tenko won’t let us interrogate her. Oh well.

Keebo’s worried about what time Ryoma was murdered at...If it was during the show, like Kaito thinks, then everyone watching the show had an alibi...either way, Kaito does not have an alibi.

Kiyo ponders if the show was ruined by a murder to make people panic. Shuichi thinks that the magic show taking place and the murder taking place having something to do with each other. But what? The culprit must have found out what Himiko’s trick was in order to pull this off, right?

Backstage...a rope in a puddle. Kiyo recounts a tale of a village of ropes with implied rope bondage and this sounds like a Miu story to me

The puddle on the ground isn’t from the tank breaking. Part of the staircase leading from the ground to the top of the tank is wet. Hmmm. And the tank has no hidden doors...no other clues here, though Kaito rushing us back to the rest of the gym has me concerned.

On top of the stage next. The piranha tank...it’s open at the bottom, and has no lid on the top. The front side is glass, the other three sides are wood. It seems to have been hung using the stage lighting.

There’s a curtain above the piranha tank...I wonder if that could have been covering up a broken window to the pool area?

The window is open, as I thought. Not broken though. I guess it’s an openable window. The window frame has weird marks on it, as if it was scratched...beyond the window is indeed the pool.

Now the tank. Ryoma’s skeleton and the remains of his clothes...Kaito wasn’t there, but Shuichi remembers all too well...but he didn’t see every detail. The water filled with blood, and the most gruesome bits were therefore obscured.

Ryoma didn’t care about living, but he didn’t want to die either. He was jealous of the people who had that will to live...

Ryoma’s monopad and key are both intact. We can use the key to look inside Ryoma’s room, and see whose motive video he had...

The curtain was meant to hide the water tank while Himiko was performing her escape. The culprit must have relied on it for their own trick.

The piranhas are all piled up in a bucket...Gonta gathered them up with is bare hands for some fucking reason.

Angie butts in to talk Atua nonsense again...wait what? There were more piranhas in the tank than there were yesterday evening? Or at least they looked more crammed together. With the water being as murky as it was, it was hard to tell whether there were actually a lot more piranhas. Was...something in the tank with them? Couldn’t have been Ryoma’s body or he’d have been eaten already.

A glass panel at the bottom of the water tank? Is that where Himiko escaped from?

There’s also a pair of handcuffs...a pair of locked handcuffs with scratches on them. Stainless steel, too. But where did they come from? No one’s seen them before in the school...

“Could it be...he’s a prisoner?” Who? Ryoma?

Why would Ryoma’s lab have handcuffs? Him being a prisoner before all this doesn’t relate to his Ultimate talent. What the hell is an Ultimate Prisoner?

Inside the pool area, we have the window again, but how would someone reach it from this side?

There’s an inner tube in the water, and some rope tied to it.

The Monokubs show up. Monosuke is being disagreeable...and then he starts to worry he’ll end up like Monokid if he acts out in front of Monodam.

Anyways, they had nothing to do with the inner tube. Which means one of the students put it there. Kaito thinks it’s unrelated to the case, but Shuichi knows better.

A piece of fabric in the pool...from Ryoma’s uniform, I’m guessing? Kaito again thinks it’s unimportant. I trust him a little less every time he says that.

Inside the equipment shed next to the pool is an electric air pump. You could use it to fill the inner tubes.

Besides the pool specifications, the rules list still has that weird night-time rule...Monokuma shows up to clarify it. If someone even touches the water at night, a siren would blare, the students would be gathered, and an Exisal would make an example of the rules-violating students by murdering them. But if a student is already dead, the rules probably don’t apply to them.

Kaito still doesn’t think much of the inner tube. The culprit could have just fished it out if it was important...Shuichi reminds him that there’s nothing here to fish it out with, and even touching the water could lead to your death if it was night-time.

Time to check out Ryoma’s room! 100 Monocoins on the possibility of him having his own motive video, that reveals some of his backstory.

The video is nowhere to be found. Kaito can’t help but wonder if maybe they should have watched the videos after all...and helped each other work through them...

Could Kokichi’s plan have prevented this, then?

Up to the building’s third floor...Maki is still guarding her lab from anyone else entering. She was apparently in her lab the past several days...she only goes back to the dorms at night, to shower. Maki also avoided being captured by Gonta...by threatening to choke him with his own tongue? Shuichi can’t help wondering what Maki’s been up to all this time. Her lack of an alibi added to our truth bullets, Maki turns her back on us.

Kirumi is asking around to determine the time of death. The last time anyone saw Ryoma...as far as we know, it was when Shuichi met up with him...and was then knocked unconscious by Gonta...but it looks like someone saw him after that as well. Gonta, after knocking Shuichi out, chased Ryoma, who used his “Shukuchi method” flash-step to escape. Miu saw Gonta chasing Ryoma around thirty minutes before that. Ryoma must have been killed after 8 PM, then.

Inside Ryoma’s lab, something feels different. But what? The tennis net, or something?

Well, those are handcuffs in the shower room all right...it’s like instead of being the Ultimate Tennis Pro’s Lab, it’s...the Ultimate Prisoner’s lab.

The window has no barbed wire. I think I know what might be on the other side...

A big stone sink...you could fill it up with plenty of water. Ryoma was a small guy, this could be where he was originally drowned, right?

There’s scratches on the stone...HMMMM. Made by some kind of metal. HMMMMMMM. (Handcuffs. It’s the handcuffs.)

Sure enough, Shuichi deduces that on the other side of the window is the pool. And opening it confirms it.

You could theoretically make it from the window to the pool if you jumped. Not at night-time, though. Still, no one who’s dead can be considered to break the rules. Could someone have...?

Weird scratches on the window frame? HMMMMM.

Someone laid some kind of object across the window frame, and walked across it to the window frame on the other side, the one near the gym?

And finally...the empty handcuff hook. Three hooks with handcuffs, and one without.

As we leave the shower room, Kaito trips over a cable. One meant for the tennis net. Which I’d thought looked strange.

Kaito was in the tennis club in grade school, and he knows tennis cables are 50 feet long. He also knows of Ryoma from his tennis days...he never met the guy till now, but he admired Ryoma as a tennis star of his own age. Which is why he was so pissed off at Ryoma before...

To Himiko’s lab, then! Himiko herself isn’t there. Tsumugi and Kokichi are, however. Tsumugi is keeping an eye on Kokichi to make sure he doesn’t get up to anything.

The water tank in here is a backup one. But this tank is weird...there’s part of it that opens up near the top. Hmmmm. I wonder...

Kaito feels bad about revealing Himiko’s tricks. Her belief in magic reminds him of his own belief that he’ll travel across the galaxy and meet aliens. It isn’t rational, but it’s something he wants to believe in...just like Himiko wants to believe that she’s really a mage. Kokichi proceeds to thoroughly mock him.

Kokichi snuck into everyone’s rooms to steal their motive videos last night...but he ended up running into something else that delayed him by an hour from coming back. What was he doing?

He was caught by Kirumi as he headed out to the dorms. Kirumi started interrogating and lecturing Kokichi...attempting to fulfill his earlier request of “be my mom”. I’m pretty sure Kokichi said that as a joke...but Kirumi didn’t take it as one.

She lectured him for an entire half hour. Then they played tag. By which he means, he said “catch me if you can”, and Kirumi took it as a maidly request.

That gives both of them alibis. Kaito, Maki, Miu, and Ryoma have no alibis during night-time. And I doubt Ryoma would go to such lengths to commit suicide. So the culprit is likely Kaito, Maki, or Miu...either one of the first two seems likely.

But that’s during 9 PM to 10 PM. From 10 to 11, Kokichi has no alibi, right? But even if no one saw him, he saw someone...a half naked girl, wandering aroudn the courtyard in her underwear. There’s only two people that could be, and Angie was trapped in the bug room. Which means, Miu has an alibi...and if Miu can confirm that she stripped to get rid of Gonta, Kokichi has an alibi as well.

Kaito spent that period of time hiding from Gonta...

Before Kokichi can say anything else, the trial bell rings.

Monokuma goes on some shpiel that compares investigations and trials to searching the internet for porn and watching that porn. Then he commands us to go the Shrine of Judgement once again.

Shuichi is worried...Kaito’s reassurances aren’t helping. Shuichi points out that he’s a possible culprit, and Kaito tells him he believes in Shuichi because he wants to believe in Shuichi. No other reason but bro-ship. Even if the situation turns out to be like with Kaede...the risk of believing in people doesn’t outweigh the reward.

Shuichi! Now is the time to believe! The time to believe in yourself! The time to believe in your friends! The time to believe that you’ll survive this! The time to...flashback to that weird memory of you wishing you could die with the rest of “everyone else”...?

No! That memory is irrelevant! No dying! Just living! We must survive!

To the shrine of judgement!

Kokichi suspects Himiko...everyone else is unsure of what to think yet.

The courtroom wasn’t redecorated this time around, huh?

Monokuma has a strange response to Kokichi’s comment...that the courtroom had a lot of work put into it, almost like it’s for show. Despair entertainment, right? Someone’s gotta be watching this killing game...Kirumi thinks so too, and Monokuma seems to confirm it...the people who are watching this are...

...no longer with us? How can dead people watch something? Weird...

“In other words...you 13 are the only ones left in the world.” But at the beginning of the chapter, we heard people mourning Kaede and the Ultimates. If they weren’t alive and in the world, what state were they in, and where?

Kaede’s wish will go to waste if everyone dies here...so Shuichi must uncover the truth. No more turning away from the truth...

And not just for everyone else. Shuichi promised Kaede he’d make it out of here alive. So he can’t lose now. He can’t die...he must fight!

Next time, that is!

#Dangan Ronpa V3 #Danganronpa V3 #Dangan Ronpa

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scithemodestmermaid · 6 years ago

Text

okay so i’m taking notes on microsoft’s conference

watching it here

so i have that aperture science core plushie i made next to me for this, because i was doing some restitching on her, just wanted to set the stage anyway

prepare montage pictures

outer worlds, right off the bat! are we still mad at outer worlds? idk and idc.

october 25th release date for outer worlds...except for steam, but let’s not mention that part....

outer worlds still looks dope, don’t get me wrong.

i don’t know what is going on with bleeding edge, but i’m terrified. also intrigued.

THE ONE PERSON WHO “WHOO’D” FOR ORI, HIGH-FIVE TO YOU

were there actual boss fights in the first ori? i don’t remember, it’s been a real long time since i played it. i just remembered it being like a disney.

someone in the live chat just said, “it’s fallout 5!”

....wait, is this minecraft 2?

a minecraft dungeon crawler?!

minecraft dungeons looks fun, but i’m only just now getting back into og minecraft and i prefer its pacing and the ability for housebuilding so i think i’m sticking with that.

phil spencer is getting todd howard levels of cheering right now.

just noticed he’s wearing a psychonauts shirt. HMMMMMMM

oh its the droid boi

jedi fallen order right now, they got one of those big four legged mechs and its covered in vines and you get to pilot it apparently and that right there hypes me up.

DOOOOOOOOOPE STAR WARS

ooh a scaries?

a dog in a scaries, that does not bode well it better not die.

ITS A BLAIR WITCH GAME

CYBERPUUUUUUUUUUUNK 2077, BOYOS

don’t stick your gun in your buttcrack, kids, that could end terribly

NO NOT JACKIE. i liked him in the 48 minute thing.

whoa the other guy was a backstabber, who’d a thunk it

bawss friggin fightin

KEANU REEVES????

HOLY CRAP IT REALLY IS KEANU REEVES

hello i may or may not have a crush on keanu reeves, but that’s basically everybody

i already was gonna get this game but if he’s in it, then absolutely must buy.

he’s even wearing a cyberpunk 2077 shirt, <3

seriously, he’s a cyberpunk king, friggin neo is in this game.

he is having so much fun right now.

YOU R BREATHTAKING

APRIL 16th, 2020, BOYOS

wow no cheers for an official release date, screw you guys too.

is this animal crossing?

is this animal crossing with permadeath?

spiritfarer is animal crossing with permadeath, pass it on

BATTLETOADS MUSIC

a new battletoads game, and it is NOT 3d? props.

legend of wright has a cool art style, but idk seems a bit too artsy for me, and thats saying something

okay the camera needs to stop pulling away from the screen cuz when it does that i cant see crap

wait theres a pathologic 2?

everyone in live chat is making this joke so i will too...the name’s bond, sarah bond.

people are also begging for keanu to come back.

xbox game pass for pc is available today, so that’s nice.

okay so you mentioned master chief collection, when exactly is it coming out? not gonna say, okay then.

ten bucks a month, not bad.

xbox game pass ultimate puts them all together at no additional cost, so thats cool.

if you start today, it’s one dollar, extremely impressive.

wait so this is actually a game? i thought they were just bsing it and showing real world footage for something.

the only flight simulator i will play is the one at the local historical museum, sorry.

everyone in the live chat is too distracted by that song that was playing during the montage, the one that was like “are you game game game, are you game game game,” except it was easy to mishear “game” as “gay” so they’re taking that and running.

this is exactly what i imagined colorado to be like.

is this fallout colorado?

oh its wasteland 3. so i was pretty close.

matt booty? HMMMMMMM

no one is listening to mr. booty, they’re just cheering his name.

well double fine productions has finally sold out. well, i mean they sold out a while back, but now its literal.

they’re gonna show psychonauts???

tim schafer is one of those rare humans that has never changed physically, he looks the same as he did ten years ago.

they are indeed showing psychonauts 2, did any of yall get your backing rewards yet?

why are they pushing loboto so much? did the fans really care about him so much back in 2005?

MORE STAR WARS?

ITS STAR WARS LEGO YAAAS

over 9000?

thats literally all i know about dragonball, is that theres a guy and his power level is over 9000.

is frieza mewtwo?

what am i lookin at here, is this top-down alan wake?

12 minutes is top-down alan wake, pass it on

deer with light up antlers

i have a feeling way to the woods is symbolism

who is this girl and why is everyone cheering?

gears of war, ah yes, the game so controversial that conservatives stopped harassing halo. that’s all i know about the franchise.

all of this is french to me, i have no idea what any of this is.

what in the heck is going onnnnnn?????

wait is that dave fennoy?

wrestling superstars to play the new game mode? que?

the terminator is just casually in gears of war. okay.

car game. great.

oh wait no, i was bamboozled, its a controller commercial. for their new controller that looks a heck of a lot like the steam controller. HMMMMMMM

people are still begging for keanu to come back.

never played the first dying light, but that sequel looks spiffy

oh, HERE is the car game. complete with a random car just chillin on stage.

WAIT ITS LEGO AND THEYRE PLAYING EVERYTHING IS AWESOME, YOU NOW HAVE MY ATTENTION

and the random car just chillin on stage is made of lego, so i’ll take it back thats astounding.

.....but i just wanna kick that lego car’s door and watch it fall apart, i’m chaotic evil apparently.

funko pop, oh i can tune out then.

state of decay 2, i will not trust these devs after the moonrise fiasco so piss off with this game.

sega?

what is this, where is sonic?

phantasy star online 2, k

who tf is smilegate?

what tf is crossfire x?

(i took a break here but i don’t think i missed anything that i would’ve cared about)

oh borderlands, woooow. another anticipated title brought low with epic games anti-hype.

but it had claptrap and leg gun in the same scene so that makes it good.

look claptrap is the only part of borderlands that i like so lets move on.

miyazaki and rr martin???

let me give you a hand. i’m not even apologizing for that joke.

some in the chat pointed out there’s not been gameplay so far in this conference, and thats interesting.

anyway elden rings or whatever.

is this it? no halo or banjo?

oh new gaming console, optimized for gaming....didn’t they just release a new xbox?

developers taking about we totally get gamers, we are going to get rid of loading screen because no one is patient.

i know i sound bitter but do understand, i am totally interested right now with the specs and the construction and all that, tis related to my major so yeah.

scarlett? what a weird name for a console, but i genuinely hope that’s not just a placeholder i want a console with a human name.

next console is project jeff.

people in live chat are already confirming skyrim for the scarlett.

xbox is 18 years old?

also HALO NOW. and its releasing with the scarlett.

plot twist: this is the master chief without his suit, just a dumpy white guy.

he aged ten years in five minutes, are we sure this isnt death stranding?

CHIEF

guys i found a master chief, he was sitting outside my window and he looked sad, like no one had fed him or anything in a long time, can i keep him?

yo i am hyped okay, i was big on halo when i was an obnoxious teen, my friends used to do halo 2 parties and i’d try to keep up.

and i guess that’s the end of the conference. good selection of games, interested in that project scarlett, and all in all okay with it all.

still no banjo. :-/

#sci's e3 experience

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years ago

Note

I have literally no clue how to do this, but director’s commentary on your ‘One expensive can of easy cheese’ fic?

hell yeah!!

all comments will be in bold

______

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, race only knows how to sit on counters lets be real, he can't sit in a chair to save his life a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine KINKYY. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese. okay so its mac and cheese cause if you read spies mac and cheese is Literally the Only thing albert knows how to cook, other than coffee, and he's Really Fuckin Good At It (he's the mikey of mac and cheese okay this is my hc)

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food is it though, r a c e r?. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house i was gonna make it rock paper scissors, i do not know hot to play mariokart, but it sounds more heated than rock paper scissors. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder race be quiet you literally love alberts mac and cheese its a known fact.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do) he did. So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere albert sounds real kinky in this, why did i make this so kinky, wait when did i even write this.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place. CAUSE YOU LOVE HIM THATS WHY

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat who the fuck uses the word spat huh saph??, he was able to dislodge the duct tape d i s l o d g e thats some karen bs right there.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?” yeah albert let him help jeez he's the one who actually knows how to cook

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick note to self, all licks should always be thoughtful. “Hmmmmmmm. No.” dumbass. if only you knew what was coming.

“But-!” He wriggled w r i g g l e d around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!” damn albie why so mean? o wait i wrote this wait...

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta okay but i did a good job making race salty i gotta give myself that. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good hELL YEAH IT IS. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell. okay real talk tho, no one eats good mac and cheese in college, its the instant microwave shit cause were all broke so thats a lie race

“Can you at least untie me then?” ;)

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time. albert this is gettin Real Kinky..

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie HAH YES I KNEW I PULLED SOMETHING WEIRD, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?” i gotta tell ya life without ya has been hard. hard? has been bad. bad? has been r o u g h. k i N kY

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists. LIKE HECK HE WAS CAUSE ALBERTS ACE AND HE DONT WANT THAT REPUTATION!!!

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.” hehe u go race

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink yeah albie has a twine kink, he licks it, no this is a joke, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.” W A L G R E E NS. this whole fit was an excuse to write another part of the walgreens au

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face. okay maybe albert wasn't ace in this particular fic...

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” yeah definitely not scratch that. i write a lot of fics. Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!” GO AWAYYYY. IM A MAN OF GOD. mikey and my sister have subjected me to too many tik toks im sorry

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? albert does. but its actually a plot point just to get you to walgreens and if anyone puts easy cheese in mac and cheese i will fite you. He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store he did, actually, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking he was not. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all. you can buy easy cheese at a lot of places tho...i don't actually know if you can buy easy cheese at a walgreens

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese. walgreens remains a mystery indeed. my only experience was the one that my best friend and i would go to at lunch during senior year. also have you ever noticed that most walgreenses are on corners? cause their slogan is at the corner of happy and healthy??

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life a true chef, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs. oh my god the most questionable villain I've ever written.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one indeed he could. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy M AN C AN D Y that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese. oh just you wait racetrack

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” my best friend and i spent much time looking at the mac and cheese in walgreens He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it athletics before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when- B R E T T

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled whirled? saph please get a better vocabulary around to see Mr. Man Candy hA himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs oh my god Wait i wrote this cause one time when i was in a walgreens i Did see a hot dude working the pharmacy and decided to write a fic about it!! i remember texting mikey about this hjfhgjhg, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. and mikey came up with that name And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.” brett is an obnoxious millennial in case you can't tell

“I’m sorry, what?”

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things subway pizza rat, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese. easy cheese has no health benefits. and if you'd stopped annoying your boyfriend maybe you wouldn't be there

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?” yeah its nyc people love to have Opinions. and so do millennials

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” man brett has his work cut out for him. New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!” this is so weird why did i come up with this idea. what possessed me.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.” but it won't stop brett...

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life Thats for sure. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key god why you can't even get on the roof of dorm buildings i know, I've tried, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt by Who??. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame in a walgreens don't forget. how did you forget that saph.

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables as he should be. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert. no one d i a l s anyone saph. its the 21st century. i have like maybe 8 phone numbers memorized, half of them belong to my family the other half to people i knew in middle school.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?” for Once al isn't the one who gets injured in a walgreens. bet you didnt see That coming

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.” hehe bet al used to date him

“Wait, you know him?”

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed. this was definitely one of the times i asked mikey about oddly specific concussion symptoms and then proceeded to forget everything he told me and do my own stuff

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor he should still buy it. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.” get it? cause race has to pay urgent care for his consultation? and they're also Very Very late to thanksgiving. cause al insists on finishing his mac. jack is not impressed. he eats all races pie.

anyway thats that hope you enjoyed

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