#looking at the post again it's less restrictive and more 'maybe making hating sports an identity is actually limiting yourselves'

[morayofsunshine]

Okay but what if you care about Kpop not in a competitive way, but in a "Whoa they just had a guy backflip off the squad's arms" way.

It's like when I watch ice skating. I have no idea who these people are but that was a sick pirouette

Yeah, pretty much. I follow some skaters but I mostly watch ice skating to be amazed at what they do, and it's the same for Kpop!

I do have favorites in both and am happy when they do well, but I'm also super happy to see great performances from people that I don't really know much about.

So big mood, watching very skilled people pull off amazing feats of athletics and performance is fun, and I don't need to compare their entire scoring record to those of other professionals to enjoy the sport and/or art.

[bearificationtransformations]

Michele and Fransiscu were young, uninhibited, and in love. The couple met online and quickly fell for each other. Franciscu was new to Milan. He had grown up in the mountains of Sardinia and it took time for him to get used to life in urban Milan, but Michele helped him adjust.

The two went everywhere together. They moved in together after only a few months of dating and shared everything. Michele had their occasional fights but it seemed fairly smooth sailing.

The two would exercise at the gym together, and Michele especially wanted to build more muscle. Fransiscu was less enthusiastic but went to support his partner. Despite his lack of interest in lifting weights, Franciscu was remarkably strong and had a fair amount of solid muscle. Farm work, he explained, but Michele wasn’t so sure. There were aspects of Franciscu’s family that were a little... mysterious. For one thing, there was an outstanding rumor that the people in his Sardinian village still practiced witchcraft. It was a story Michele only came across when reading up on his partners home town.

Franciscu did have some odd habits and rituals. His affinity for herbs and candles went beyond a regular passing interest. He also sported the supposed the “mark of a warlock” on his arm. A myth maybe, but with all the talk online about the town Franciscu was from, Michele kept this in the back of his mind.

Michele also knew not to take any of that too seriously. Michele was beyond thrilled to have such a warm, passionate man in his life, even if he came with some odd rural traditions and a sometimes strange way of speaking.

After a year together the Michele had fallen deeply in love with his boyfriend, and yet he couldn’t resist the attention other men sometimes sent his way. The mood in their relationship went sour after Michele recieved a text from his ex. When Franciscu found out his boyfriend was texting with his ex, he was furious. His full blown hot blooded Mediterranean jealousy came into its own.

Michele relented and agreed not to chat with his ex anymore. Three weeks after the fight, while Michele was showering Franciscu saw another flirty text from Michele’s phone pop up. Enraged, Franciscu barged in and screamed at his boyfriend. “ Its over!” he yelled, and “you’ll regret this!” And stormed out.

The two split. Michele tried to make amends but Franciscu wasn’t having it He moved out that night and Michele’s texts went unanswered.

It was a week later that Michele noticed something odd. His clothes felt a little snug. He had a lot of energy when he went to the gym before, but now he was positively bouncing off the ceiling. Despite his grief over losing his relationship, Michele was hitting the weights harder than ever. Soon he could see changes in the mirror. He was starting to fill out... everywhere. All of a sudden his body was starting to pack on weight. His ass, his legs, his belly were all thickening up. He stepped on the scale, only one week since his breakup and instead of the 75 kgs he expected, he was up to 80kgs. That was 5 kgs in around a week... there was no way that was possible. He hadn’t changed his eating habits...

In the next few days the weight continued to pile on at an alarming rate. Four days after he first noticed the new weight, he had baloooned to 90 kgs. Every morning he could see he looked a little bigger in the bathroom mirror. By the time he would get to the gym the mirrors there would show him a little bigger still.

Michele hit the gym harder to try and compensate for his sudden and extremely rapid weight gain, but it didn’t slow it down. His strength and energy was high at the gym, and he could feel muscle was growing, but his body fat was increasing fast. It was less than two weeks after the breakup and suddenly Michele had developed a belly. His clothes were getting very tight and his pants and shorts were impossible to button.

Each morning then routine became to examine his body for the changes and growth from the night before. Each morning he saw new weight, and more mass added to his frame. As he sat up from his bed Michele now felt a belly in his lap. His thick legs and ass now could barely fit even in his athletic shorts. He approached the mirror in shock at his enlarged reflection. Every day was bringing more changes, more fat, more bulk, more weight. He had to buy new clothes to fit over his new size.

And that next morning, Michele looked himself over again. 100 kgs and growing. He pawed at his increasingly rounded belly and thickening arms. He was blowing up. Day by day, hour by hour. Even his two hour lifting, cardio sessions and restrictive new diet were doing nothing to stop the weight from piling onto his body. It was relentless. Part of was terrified by how big he would get. Another part of him was excited by how he had bulked up into one of the biggest men in his gym.

In less than two weeks he’d gained 25 kgs and had to buy an entirely new wardrobe. He was getting huge. His face was filling out, growing chubbier. He was ashamed to meet with his friends when going out, so he just stayed in. Wouls they even recognize him now that he was growing into such a thick chunky bear?

Michele continued to hit the weights in hopes of building more muscle and combat the fat gains. It worked, his arms and shoulders broadened, his pecs rounded out with thick brawn and a layer of chub, and his legs became huge and powerful. Suddenly Michele was benching 100 kgs with ease, then 120, the. 140... and he grew stronger still. He looked like a rugby player, or even a powerlifter. Anxious and self conscious as he was, he had to admit his newfound strength in the gym and thick powerful arms were bringing him a surprising new confidence. He didn’t hate how wide his shoulders were getting. He filled out his shirts in a way that seemed to emphasize his powerful build.

A few days later when he saw the scale turn to 110 kgs, Michele recieved a text from Franciscu “you said you wanted to get bigger, well I hope you enjoy getting bigger then”

Michele’s mind raced. He looked at his thick build in the mirror. Has Franciscu actually done this to him? Had his rapid weight gain been some kind of curse? There was no way his transformation was natural. Were the rumors about that town true?

Michele didn’t respond. He ignored Franciscu. Maybe he had been watching him. Still, he was getting self conscious of his growing size.

Finally, around the time his weight hit 120 kilos it the gains seemed to slow down. It had been a hell of a transformation over the month. 120 kilos on his 1.75m frame was a lot. He started to get used to aspects of his new bearish body. He felt heavy, thick, chunky, but strong as hell. He could bench 200 kgs without much help! He curled 25 kgs easily.

A few more days passed, now at 123 kgs, Michele braved the world of scruff and posted his profile with his updated picture, weight and profile.

Much to his surprise men hit him up from all over much more than before. Texts like “sexy bear” and “fuck me big boy” started coming in. It turned out that a lot of men online really appreciate his new muscle chub build and he began getting together with men who loved his bearish body.

Michele embrased his new bearish identity and powerlifter like build. He was probably the strongest man in his gym now, and frequently pressed weights that grabbed the attention of other gym goers. Franciscu may have tried to get revenge on him, but it backfired. Michele.

And Michele has no idea to what degee it had backfired until a few weeks later. He recieved a text from someone identified as Franciscu’s sister, who urged him to see Franciscu. Apparently his ex had returned to Sardinia to the village for a time after they broke up. As his sister told him, Franciscu’s spell had rebounded shortly after his trip home and franciscu was now back in Milan and scared to leave his house in his new size.

Lonely, and eager to know if this was true, Michele finally wrote back to Franciscu and asked him if he was ok. Franciscu surprisngly wrote back. Asked Micheles forgiveness and if they could see each other.

Michele paid a visit to Franciscu at the new address. The wooden floors of the hallway creaked against Michele’s 125 kilo bulk. When he walked into the darkened apartment he was shocked to see his former lover.

Franciscu had blimped up enormously! He was more than fat, he sported a new enormous gut. Unlike Michele, who had built muscle by his agressive weightlifting, Franciscu looked like he had just grown rounder and rounder with fat. Instead of going to the gym as he gained, Franciscu had just moped around in self pity. He should have known that spells like that would rebound.

“Wow Michele” Franciscu began “you look... good!”

Michele just stood there in silence at this fat man with Franciscu’s face. Motionless.

“I’m sorry I did this to you Michele” Franciscu said in a sorrowful tone. “You can see I did it to myself. It... bounced back on me. It was wrong. I know it was wrong. I’m so sorry”

There was silence as a Michele looked on stunned at the fat bear his ex boyfriend had become.

“Look at you, such a sexy bear now” Franciscu continued. “Look at those arms. You’re huge! But in a good way! Not like me... I just got fat. Goddamn, I’m so fat” he continued.

“I swear to you I will never do anything like this again. I know it was wrong” Micheles fattened ex continued “can you ever forgive me?”

Despite his hugely overweight new frame, Michele still found himself lost in his former boyfriends eyes. He was still in love with this man, even transformed. Even after the transformation he had put them both through.

“I don’t hate you Franciscu” Michele finally said “I’ve missed you” he continued. “And... I don’t... I don’t hate what I’ve become” he said. Franciscu smiled.

Franciscu was the first to embrace Michele, but Michele didn’t resist. Michele pulled off Franciscu’s tight shirt to get a good look at the fat man Franciscu had become.

Soon the two were together again, only much, much larger. Their huge bodies pressing against each other in a new sensations. The bed creaked in protest at the 300 kilos rolling around on top of it.

The two now huge men had found each other again. Michele woke up the next morning to find his fat bear of a boyfriend laying in bed next to him. He realized with a certain satifaction that he could definitely get used to Franciscu’s new fat body, just as he had already gotten used to his own new beefy musclechub frame.

“You still love me, even like this? “ Fransiscu asked in a self conscious tone.

“I love you like this” Michele replied quickly.

[blogulianatish]

Manager

When you were in junior high school, you saw the Japan women's national volleyball team play on TV. Your old man loved this sport, because of this, when the matches were played on TV, he did not miss the opportunity to watch.

Their strong pitches and graceful bunches that took your breath away and tightened every minute; their strong blocks that kept the ball from falling like an iron wall, were so amazing that it took your breath away and you wanted to play like them. Because of this, you went to the volleyball team in elementary school, with the intention of being one of the best in the team and getting into the volleyball team.

Every year you improved your skills in sports more and more, but there were always people who were stronger, more technical, faster and more resilient than you. You, of course, understood that you need to try to be better. But above the head, as they say, you can not jump.

By the end of high school, you decided that you would no longer play volleyball, but would do something else, but, fortunately or unfortunately, the love of volleyball did not go away, and you definitely decided to link yourself to this sport.

On the first day of school, you applied to the volleyball club for the post of manager, but the women's team rejected it, citing the fact that they are doing fine without him. Without thinking twice, you went to the men's club with your head held high.

Having described to the coach all his knowledge and skills in volleyball, plus why they should take you, he agreed.

So you became Inarizaki's manager for the entire year of your training.

At the end of school, you went to the Sports Institute at the Faculty of Management (management in the field of sports). After finishing it, you began to submit resumes to different volleyball teams, go to interviews and get calls that they would not regret if they took you.

And in the end, your prayers were answered. You were taken to MSBY by the Black Jackals, and you became the official manager of this club.

On the first day you met with the entire team, which already consisted of the Shugo Meian . When you met him, he wasn't a captain yet, he won't be a captain for another year, but you've already remembered him as a reliable, responsible and strong player, with fine features and a strong masculinity.

As a player, he was amazing, as well as a lover, but you'll find out later. His strong serves, powerful blocks, concentration and calmness during the game excited all the time when you watched the jackals ' matches.

When you started working together, Meian was married, but after 2 years of dating, he divorced. The reason was banal, he did not give his wife the time she so wanted, which served as the end of a 5-year marriage.

You don't remember the exact day and time when the chemistry started between you, but it definitely didn't happen after he got divorced. Your communication, and soon your intimacy, was gradual. At first, just socializing, then getting together in hotels during away games, and then, after one of the victories, you drank to the winnings and talked so much that everything ended up in your apartment.

You didn't advertise the relationship, because there's nothing to advertise. As such, you did not have a relationship. You just slept together.

For you, it wasn't just a hookup, you realized that you felt much more for the captain of the Jackals than just the need for intimacy. You've learned this during conversations, press conferences, and games. His blocks were breathtaking, and his punches on the ball made him squeeze the fabric of his pencil skirt and bite his lip to keep from making a squeak of admiration.

Once, you dared to talk to Shugo about a relationship, but he was unwavering.

— What's the point?" Meian shrugs. — If you're afraid I'm sleeping with other people, I'm afraid to upset you, but you're the only one."

You nod your head and smile. Lifting your head from the man's chest, you get out of bed and start picking up your things to go home.

Maybe, under other circumstances, you would have scored and agreed with him enjoying it, but your relatives expect a husband and children from you.

— Do you have someone?" — asks the mother.

"Yes," you said, picking at the salad with your chopsticks. — But I'm not sure.

— In what way is not sure?! Whether or not there is a man next to you! Honey, I don't want to remind you, but at your age, I already had my first child.

"Mom —" you froze and looked up, praying to all the gods that she'd drop the subject. - It's difficult there. I don't want to talk about it, let's change the subject.

You hated the subject of your personal life because you hated uncertainty. And with Meyan, there was only ignorance. 

***      

The match with Schweiden ended with a victory for the Jackals and a new serve for Atsumu, whom he had coached for a long time.      

Everyone on the team was happy to beat those pompous Eagles, and you were no exception.      

You went into the locker room and congratulated the team on the victory and a job well done. Shugo, as always, pretended that there was nothing between you but a business relationship.      

On the way out of the locker room, you were stopped by Atsumu. You turned your head and raised an eyebrow, waiting for his question.       

— Still valid?" As agreed?— What is it? " he asks excitedly.   

—When did I ever go back on my word?"  you cover his hand, calmly answering the question with a question. "A deal is a deal. So I'll be waiting for you at 18:00 near my house. And without delay.       

"I won't let a single minute go to waste," he drawled sweetly, and with his trademark smile, Mia lets go of your hand.      

You looked up from it and met the captain's displeased gaze, which was still asking:  

"What's going on?"      

You tossed your head and walked away from the locker room.      

With Atsumu Mia are you familiar with since high school when you were a Manager at Narazaki and studied in the second year of training, came the famous brothers Mia. And from that day on, the ambiguous suggestions from Atsumu began. You usually ignored or rolled your eyes and said no to his suggestions. It's not that you don't like Atsumu, no, he's a good player, he has amazing charisma and looks are not inferior to her, but for you he is an eternal child who is in love with volleyball.

When Mia came to MSBY, his suggestions continued. 

***      

- Can we go somewhere? "blocking your way," he says, smiling slyly.

"I have a lot of work to do," you say without looking up from your phone screen and walk past.

***

— I have two movie tickets, but I don't have a pair, " he said, holding up the two tickets, the corners of his mouth starting to curl up.

— I have a headache, " you sigh, already tired of these suggestions.

***

"Come on, let's go somewhere, Y/N -chan," Atsumu begins to whimper.

"No," you say less often than you'd like.

— You're breaking my heart."

— When will it finally break, Tsumu?!"

"That's rude!"

You look at Atsumu's sad face, and you feel terribly sad. You feel like a beast that had hurt that the ladder.

"All right —" you sigh miserably and look at him. - Let's make a deal.

He looks up at you and starts actively nodding his head.

— If you win the match and you master the hybrid serve, we'll go on a date, and if you don't, you can stop talking about spending time together."

A sly smile appears on his face, and a twinkle of excitement appears in his eyes. You knew he could do it, he just couldn't not do it.

— Don't make any plans on this day, because we're going on a date, " he chuckled and walked towards the exit.

And what? You are a free girl, no one restricts you, plus Tsumu has been offering to meet for a long time, why not, there is nothing to do at home anyway.

***

Satisfied, the guy went to his seat, simultaneously taking off his T-shirt. He was drinking something under his breath and shaking his head.

— Why are you so happy? - the captain decided to ask, - it's just amazing.

"Just going on a date." "Don't miss the opportunity to brag," Atsumu says.

At this moment, Shugo was numb, his entire appearance was not visible, but he was boiling. When he came to, he decided to find out more.

"Really?" — What is it? " he asks in a calm and confident voice, not looking at his teammate.

"Anyway, we had a bet with Y/N-chan that if I mastered the hybrid serve and we won the match, she would agree to go out with me, and if not, I would never ask her to go out with me again."

"Well, congratulations," he says, forcing a smile, and slaps Tsuma on the shoulder, then squeezes and shakes her a little.

"Thank you, Meian-san, but now I need to hurry so I won't be late."

"I understand.

Atsumu ran to the shower, still smiling with 32 teeth.

The muscles in Shugo's face tightened, and he began to squeeze the bag down to the white bones.

"What do you want to prove with this?!"

A thought flashed through Meian's mind.

He put down his bag and began to change.

***        

The next day, as if nothing had happened, you were walking down the corridor, looking at the documents that were handed to you. While reading the orders and various accounts, you didn't notice the jackal captain passing by.

"Hi," Shugo says calmly.

"Oh —" you say, not expecting to see Meian, " hi."

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at you seriously. You were unaccustomed to the captain's penetrating gaze.

- How was the date? "What is it?" he asks unexpectedly.

Smiling, you grabbed the bridge of your nose with two fingers and closed your eyes, remembering yesterday's date. Mia was emptied by a pigeon, and then to get the droppings off his head, he ran to the first car and stopped near the side mirror. While he was cleaning up the litter, the tinted window in the car rolled down, and from it the girl handed Tsumu a new napkin.

You started laughing, covering your mouth with papers and remembering the date.

"I see," he says, adjusting the strap of his bag.

There was a moment of silence, and he began to squeeze the bag, not daring to ask anything.

You look at him expectantly, seeing that he wants to say something, but doesn't know how. You opened your mouth to ask what was wrong.

— How about in bed?" looking up at you with his brown eyes, he asks.

— I don't know, " you say, raising one eyebrow in utter confusion. — I didn't keep a candle under his bedroom door.

— You didn't have anything?"

- No, but should it?

At this moment, it's like a weight is being lifted from Shugo's shoulders. He takes a sharp breath and realizes that he has said something stupid. Biting the inside of his cheek, he turns his head away from you.

— Do you care at all?" - folding your hands in front of your chest, you ask. — We are still not together, we are free people and have the right to do what we want. I told you about the relationship, and you said it didn't make sense. If you want, you can sleep with anyone you want.

There was another silence. You dropped your hands and shook your head in different directions, not understanding what all these questions are for, since he himself does not want to. Realizing that it's over, you move away from the captain, continuing to read the lease agreement.

— I don't care…

You paused, your eyes fixed on the documents, but you were no longer paying attention. Starting to turn to him, dropping the papers and opening her mouth to protest.

"You're right," he said calmly. — You don't owe me anything, and neither do I, and we can do whatever we want, but when I found out you were going with Mia "- he ran his hand through his black, spiky hair, which you knew was very soft, though it looked tough — " and knowing how he felt about you, damn it, like a jealous boy, I got angry, realizing that I didn't want you to be with anyone but me." And I'm afraid to start a relationship, most likely because I'm afraid that you will refuse or leave because I pay you little attention or am very busy with volleyball, and so we are free and do not owe each other anything.

— I'll tell you that Atsumu, that now you - I see you more often than with my family, and given the fact that we meet even after hours, it is simply impossible to think that you will push me away or not spend time with me. After all, am I your manager or not?!

Shugo threw his head back and laughed in a velvety voice that was maddening and made his legs wobble. Lowering it, he licked his lower lip and looked at you.

"Then," Shugo began to move closer. "Can we go out tonight?"

Her heart was pounding, and her cheeks were flushed. You turned away from him and walked to the office, and when you reached the door, you said:

- I'll meet you at my house at 19:00. If you're late, I'll go to Atsum's house to cool your curiosity.

Going into the office and simultaneously closing the door behind you, you lean on the wooden surface, covering your face and starting to smile with happiness, not believing that this has happened.

The captain grinned and walked towards the locker room, smiling and greeting everyone.

[kindabraveandlittlestupid]

Why Tumblr Chooses Censorship

It’s a strange day to jump online and suddenly hear about a major policy change on Tumblr from a few people I talk too. Words like “Total Bullshit”, “End of Tumblr”, “Burning Garbage Heap” and so on tossed among them to describe the policy change. Curious enough I logged on began reading over all the purposed changes and I admit I am a bit disheartened. Usually when a digital institution like AOL, Yahoo, Napster, or MySpace falls it because they didn't evolve and became stagnant in what they were providing the internet. I can’t think of a time where a site willfully regressed its own freedom of speech on a broad scale and basically swallowed a poison capsule that destroys their user base (perhaps deservingly so) but here we are.

That point aside, I am trying to have insight and hindsight to understand how/why they were pushed to this reckless conclusion (I will be leaving foresight out because I think Tumblr lacks foresight, the exodus from Tumblr will dramatically change the culture of this site likely for the worse). Tumblr like any social media medium is struggling in the current age of the internet; Bots, Far Right Extremists, Fake News, Illegal Porn, Data Theft, and so on. Many companies are walking this fine line between trying to combat these problems while preserving freedom of speech.

I struggle to find my own footing on this topic because I believe that society with LESS censorship historically does better. You look to countries in the past that repressed sexuality, individual thought, and so on; those countries were often the ones to invite the rise of repressive groups doing atrocious acts in history. While on the other hand because of this open and free social media platform we all see the echoing of those same repressive groups (who are also on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and Youtube) and to simply say/do nothing about their posts will inevitably allow them to rise still. This is where I struggle as I believe in that concept of a free society but I do feel that removing fake new stories is essential for the health of democracy.

I imagine the reason why sexual images are the target is that Tumblr makes things so easy to post. It's not hard to imagine pictures of minors getting liked or reposted from one blog or another happening. The problem is many of those pictures will circulate for a long period of time not being flagged as underage and there is good chance that every user has knowingly or unknowingly looked at an image like this on the web. I explore the porn side of Tumblr and have once or twice encountered a Tumblr full of these images at which point I couldn't close that tab fast enough and get the hell out of dodge. So Tumblrs solution of handling this problem instead of playing whack a mole with these underage accounts? Ban all adult content.

I can understand this motivation being a foolproof way of making sure there is no underage porn because there will be no porn. I imagine the result will be very effective, so effective that the various members of the community be they straight, bi, or gay who had their own private collection of legal adult material on Tumblr will stop visiting the site. A slow-moving exodus of users from Tumblr this site to perhaps a new blogging alternative that isn't so restrictive. I don’t suspect Tumblr will be closing its doors the week after the policy kick in (though they will see a HUGE decline in traffic) but even the PG accounts will likely move on because a sizeable user base shifted away and people want to be where the party is at. And much as I love Tumblr, it will not be here (sadly).

PC Culture VS Censorship Culture

One thing I noticed on the various posts is some people attempting to blame this policy change on the PC Culture. I am not sure I believe that as a valid argument. While I don't get along with PC Culture all the time (part of my free society is believing that humor is apart of it and PC Culture doesn't always like humor), I do think PC Culture has a broad/accepting view of orientation and sexuality. Just important is people having the right to explore those thoughts and feelings of their own free will. Tumblr has been one of those sites allowing emerging gay men and women to find others like them but also explore their sexuality with images/gifs/videos. What Tumblr might have not noticed is that the site itself is kind of a cultivation of the best images from the web, sure you can find some pretty hard porn on occasion but of all the adult sites on the web, Tumblr provides an almost artistic lense to the images that come thru the site.

Censorship can come from various political/social/religious groups but this sort of censorship against the human body, sex, and sexuality, in general, comes from a very conservative mindset. People who don’t wish to see nudity in any form on any medium; people who think a woman's nipple is lewd, that breastfeeding publically is disgusting, and that anything remotely sexual is a sin. And by the nature of Tumblrs policy change their beliefs align themselves alarmingly close to these individuals.

There is a thin veneer of progressive views on the site that remains where they say they are ok with this and that like gender orientation surgery but its just that a veneer. Once a person has transitioned anything that is shared of their new body (nudity or sex wise) beyond the initial transition falls into the realm of ‘smut’ by Tumblrs policies. I imagine the perception they are trying to sell us is “Hey we are still the same progressive safe haven for LGTBQ community! Stay with us!” but secretly thinking “Everything you enjoy in the bedroom is horrible and we fucking hate you.”

Perhaps I am being hyperbolic in that statement but damn if it doesn't feel like a vast policy of censorship on the human body. And whenever this happens (historically) it always comes from hyper-conservatives.

A General Attack On Expression and Orientation

I touched on this topic a little bit above but I feel it's worth stating again that Tumblr might be losing its safe-haven status for gender expression and sexual orientation. When scrolling through Tumblr you will likely see those new expressions of genders that is beyond that of ‘traditional’ male and female definitions. And while I don’t have any attraction to some of these new expressions, I understood why they are there and don’t get upset if/when the cross my feed. Like two men having sex my mind thinks “Not for me but I am sure that will make someones day”. I view sex (in all its forms) as natural, I don’t have to be into it for me to be ok with it (if that makes sense). It’s visual participation if that image you see isn't a turn on for you and does nothing for you, simply move on.

Tumblr’s policy doesn't seem to care about this concept of visual participation and while it is taking away my straight/lesbian porn I enjoy. It is also sweeping up all these new forms of expression and orientation in the process.

I am not sure what else to say... I am a straight male and I try to have a deep empathy for other people when I can. I feel this argument can be better structured but I also come from a position where I don’t know all the details. I add this to the post because Tumblr seemed to go out of their way to suggest that they would protect this community but from a long view that doesn't seem to be the case.

A Lessons To Be Learned

I am not going to say fuck Tumblr. I don’t want to see them fail. I liked what this space was about and what it provided. I prefer they reconsider changing the guidelines and consider a different course of action but I also understand why they want to do this. It’s “The Easy Way” to do things. If they ban all porn then it simplifies managing underage nudity and allows the site to have less criticism drawn to it.

I do, however, think this broad censorship approach will ultimately hurt the site and the community though. People will leave, alternative websites will arise and Tumblr will eventually become no more. I am not going to tell anyone to boycott or delete their accounts. I plan to collect my writing and images, backup my favorite adult gifs (might need to buy a hard drive) and settle into this new reality. I know I will personally be visiting the site less as I used to look at porn here at some of the better cultivated Tumblr archives. That lack of traffic by me and all the other users will hurt the company. I hope they understand eventually I won't show up at all and over time, eventually, no one else will either. Maybe the site will survive and change into something else but right now under these conservative policies of censorship, Tumblr won't last.

Sad Regards, Michael California

Update: Posted this originally with a woman in a shower with large censorship bars over the naughty bits. Flagged despite the fact she was more covered than most Sports Illustrated models. I know I just wrote above I am not advocating leaving the site... but after all this and the fact that Tumblr Support finally responded to a far-right Tumblr blogger photoshopping/doctoring a PM conversation we had before posting it to his blog. I feel as though Tumblr A) hates sex and sexuality B) not only enables but protects racism and harassment on this website. I think it’s time to move on.

[beyainica-blog]

Guess who’s in the 230’s?

A bit bittersweet considering I could have been this weight monday. But I will take it and stop beating myself up.

I am literally 9lbs away from the 220’s. 13 days left until valentines day.

My goal is to get to 220 on valentines. I mean I want to be lower but I will take that. I’m 18lbs away with 13 days left. I need to lose 1.4lbs a day for 13 days to get there. I think I can do it.

Lets start with the bad.

Heart?

Even though I only workout 7-14 mins every day I have been STRUGGLING to get through my workouts. Like it takes me an hour at the gym to complete 14 min workouts. I have no idea what it could be. It honestly could be a whole host of things. I had pneumonia last week, even if the virus is gone. I read that you will feel fatigue for weeks after. Also, I’m on a liquid diet, I’m going to be tired anyway. And on phentermine. My heart is literally racing which it didn’t before, just after pneumonia. Like during my workout I can feel my heart beat out my chest. I guess the caffiene doesn’t have a buffer because I don’t eat

I am extremely weak. At work I try my very best to hold it together. But I feel faint. Luckily it hasn’t been so busy so I don’t have too much to do but still. I’m lucky I have my powerade, it gives me a LITTLE energy and there is enough sugar to keep me standing. I honestly think I’m burning too many calories for not eating anything. Like I don’t count the calories I burn at work standing, I only count when I work out. But yes I do burn calories standing everyone does. Idk if I should shorten my workouts on days that I work. It would be pretty dumb of me to drive to the gym for a 4-5 min workout. It’s already stupid of me to drive there for a 7 min workout. But I will do it. Maybe not workout days I’m working. Idk. I’m losing weight rapidly. I don’t want to give up working out because I want to be toned by the end of it. All of this stress I’m putting myself in is taking a toll on my heart so I need to take it easy.

Take little steps to make it better.

1. Take phentermine AFTER my workouts. See if my heart beats less

If that works thats how I’ll do it. I only took phentermine before because it helped my energy. Thats when I was restricting with food not liquid.

To help with energy. HONESTLY. I don’t drink enough. I think I’m cute and dainty when I don’t finish my powerades because I never do. Like not on purpose I just dont feel like it. Powerade is the only source for electrolytes for me. So I HAVE to drink it. Electrolyte imbalance can also affect heart rate. Honestly I don’t drink powerade or enough electrolyte water which I special order and have been since my water fast. My regime should be to drink a litre of electrolyte water and a whole powerade. Thats enough electrolytes I feel. Tommorow, I’m bringing my 50fl ounces Assentia water that I got for .79 cents which is normally $3. I am drinking that entire thing. You know what I can start doing drinking my water in the car. On my way to work start on it. Don’t start at work. Its less stress to finish. Start finishing my water before I even touch my powerade.

I have to bear with the weakness. I’m fine somewhat its not unbearable yet. I feel the most exhausted after work. I feel like because I’m in a public setting my body just knows to keep it together. I hope I don’t faint until I’m in the 180’s at least. I won’t be THAT heavy but still a complete fat ass.

I plan to keep this liquid diet going. If I become overwhelmed the first thing I will stop is exercise. Even though the workouts are short af. Thats the first thing to go. On days I don’t work. If the problem continues I may have to alternate. One day liquid. One day 500 calories + exercise. I want to be skinny but I want to be alive with minimal damage. Eating isnt binging. Binging is ordering 16 tenders and an X large pizza from Papa Johns with chocolate and a litre of coke. I didn’t plan to eat at all during feburary, but you bet your ass I will if I ABSOLUTELY have too. Honestly I feel like it would make the weight loss faster. Eating 500 is higher than what my body is accustomed to now, so my metabolism will get faster. Like I said, only when I feel like I HAVE to I will eat. The worst thing is having to exercise everything off. Thats what I hated the most about restricting. I love on this liquid diet I only have to workout 7-14 mins a day. Imagine. 14 mins of exercise to burn off a powerade. 5 chicken tenders at 108 calories each would take 32 mins. Thats insane. But at least I’ll have the energy for it.

I am addicted to this FAST weightloss though. I woke up at 240lbs honestly. After work I was 238lbs exactly. We love flunctuations.

Sweating

I have always been a sweater. Like this is genetics. Even when I was younger and skinnier I sweat. But as I’ve gotten bigger I notice that I sweat ALOT more. Its so fucking emberrassing. I’m so scared at work. Literally was getting slight vagina sweat. I can’t even think about it. Everyone will think my vagina is diseased. Its just sweat. I wear a waist trainer. 1. To hide my belly. 2. So it can catch my back sweat. It only goes to my back so I have to wear a tank top under neath. I don’t have a good one because I refuse to spend money on it. Maybe I should start wearing my sports bras and tank until I lose a bit of weight. I started wearing a long sleeve to hide my bat arms but I get so over heated its not even funny. Like I start to sweat everywhere. Yeah having three articles of clothes will make anyone sweat. Of course the heater is on in the resturant I work at because its winter. Mix that with running around to tend to guests you have a sweaty bitch. Being fat doesnt help at all. Neither does being gentically proned to sweat. It makes it 10x worse. So I had to take off my longsleeve at work today because I just clocked in and vacuumed and could already feel the sweat accumulate. AND I JUST GOT THERE. I said nah.

But I guess good news my work shirt is a lot bigger on me, hides my bat arms better than before. The only thing I hate is you can still see my stretch marks on my arms. But they have cleared a bit, it use to be deep ridges in my arm but I lost almost 70lbs. When I get to 200lbs I don’t think they will be there anymore. I’m certain by 180lbs they won’t I bet my life.

My work uniform is black so that makes it worse though I’m thank ful. Today I had to shave my vagina and armpits to stop the sweat some what. Only to wear polyester under wear because again. I don’t wear underwear and I refuse to buy them unless they’re a medium or small. Right now large gives me wedgies so maybe I can fit into a M/L idk but I gotta get more under wear don’t have a choice because I can’t work without underwear. You know Idk if its because I had pneumonia, or if its the phentermine, or if its the liquid diet. But weeks before I didnt sweat this much. I went to work frequently without underwear. I wore my long sleeve shirt no problem. Now its a problem. Sweat can also be caused by fighting an infection. Maybe I’m still fighting the pneumonia. The thing about pneumonia is even after the virus is eliminated by antibiotics its still going to kick your ass for a few weeks. Fatigue and cough

Another thing is I move so fast at work by the time I get back to my post I’m sweating its good but, bad at the same time

Weight is still an issue and why I sweat so much so this is just an incentive to lose more weight.

Goals

I see my doctor on the 22nd or 23rd a week after valentines. I hope to be 209 or lower. By then and if I can keep on this diet I think I can. Last time I was there I was 254 (260 on their scale) so 209 will be a PLEASANT suprise and they will be very happy. Thats a 51lb weight loss and thats ALOT of weight. They will literally worship my feet and give me more phentermine they’ll give me anything I want. Though I gotta do blood work so thats like $168 but its okay it has to be done I understand. I made alot this pay period and the only thing I have to pay is, registration, tax, inspection, gym $10, mom and buy more water and powerade. I should have like $200 left. If not I deffo get paid again the 15th of this month. The 2nd of March. (The day after my cheat day) so my cheat day is on a thursday. Good. Maybe I’ll push it to saturday. Or the day I’m off. Definetly want to be out of the 200’s by the end of feburary thats my top goal.

Valentines day

I hope I’m not hyping it for nothing. I hope I get something from someone.

If I lose 2lbs for the next 13 days I’ll be 212lbs on valentines. (Could have been 207)

If I lose 1.5lbs for the next 13 days. I’ll be 218lbs (could have been 213)

If I lose 1lb a day for the next 13 days I’ll be 225lbs (could have been 220 exactly)

I hope I lose at least 1.5lbs a day consistently. So far I been losing 2-3lbs everyday. 3lbs mostly I would love to lose 3lbs a day for 13 days that would be EXCELLENT. That would put me at 199lbs exactly (could have been 194) imagine if that actually happened. I would DIE. I’m 39lbs away from getting out of the 200’s I’m excited. I just hope I’m losing weight for a reason. Honestly lose 1kg a day is reasonable I eat less than 300 calories a day, and I bet you my starting weight was more than this girl whoever she is. If I get to 199lb by valentines. Bitch. I will be 180lb by the end of feburary. Plateau nor metabolism will stop me.

Boss

Lately I noticed that every time I go to work I work with my one manager that likes me. I can tell he likes me because the other manager which is his friend is always around. They giggle and stare at me. He makes the schedule so that I only work with him. Its kind of cute. I like how I make him shy. But sometimes I get flustered. He catches me off guard. He walks REALLY slow towards me its kind of nerve racking. I purposely dont look at him because its emberrassing. He keeps coming up to me but saying ABSOLUTELY nothing. Adorable.

Jeans

I really wanted to wear size 9 jeans, on valentines. But it wasnt because of my binge. I dont think I was going to fit in them anyway until I get to 180’s but its okay.

My size 16 wide are so fucking loose. The day they fall off my body is the day I stop wearing them period. Until then we gon wear it sis.

Belly

Despite the weightloss I don’t think my bell has been affected at all granted. I’ve only lost like 15lbs I just dont see it in my stomach which is my first problem area. I hope by valentines day at, atleast 212lbs it will reduce. Seriously I’m tired of looking at it. When I was in college at 22, I was 213 and my stomach was FLAT. I remember because I weighed myself. So these next 26lbs better be fucking good to me or I’m FIGHTING. A pound of fat in terms of physical is huge. On the scale its nothing. I’m tired of having a pouch in my jeans. I’m tired of looking at it hang. It needs to go. Arms next. At 180lb I better not see a fucking bat wing in sight.

[boardkingsguide-blog]

Board Kings Cheats

Board Kings Guide

Board Kings guide has been released. No, i'll never improve in the sport, but i won't be throwing cash away both. Wait until you take gain of a so-known as bonus buy! Non existent custom carrier. Do not want to believe it? Take a look at out the comments on their fb web page at some point of an occasion. I will be taken aback if this overview gets posted due to the fact many,many customers are taking advantage of their bonus packages and getting nothing but a receipt. Me covered. I in no way would have given this type of cute sport one megastar however they deserved it this christmas. Your turn is coming lower back and you must thru the cube to recognise your subsequent vacation spot. Every time you'll be throwing the cube, matters will start to trade and we're certain which you are not aware of the modifications and feeling that everything is complicated. Each time you'll be throwing the dice; your wide variety could be indicating the quantity of movements your character could be transferring. In addition, every block will reward you with some of Coins. So after contacting customer support, they answered per week later asking me to send a receipt of my purchase because it wasn't in their gadget? Bizarre, it changed into on my bank statement and apple account. I speedy sent them my receipt and nevertheless haven't heard lower back. Perhaps in any other week they'll reply? Ok so i re downloaded the game and got my development returned ——————————————————————————————normal fantastic sport but i got here back to this game and it logged me in as a new char meter known as "mike" i deleted the sport and i am approximately to re download it and notice if it helps but to date i am mad and concerned approximately getting my account back also i used to be a truely a excessive lvl.... it is so worrying motive why give them to me if i can't even use them??? I use to like this recreation however at this factor i just play it from time to time to okay*** some loose time over again, i amassed over 125 (saves) and become never given my reward rolls. Smh. Thoughts you, i paid $5 to get them. All of this is a advertising and marketing ploy on the way to get you to spend money. I fell in love with this sport when i first began playing, however now i am not so positive. This game may be very addictive!! My fiancé and i play and visit each different's boards and scouse borrow Coins. The handiest downfall we see to this point is that the rolls take for all time to construct lower back up. Attempted twice to improve a building: the sport takes Coins and does not upgrade something. Learn to code! This has been taking place to me more than one instances when i try to do in app buy. It shows $3.ninety nine in app, but on my card it shows $14.forty two each time i tried to get it!! I have no different troubles with any of the other video games i play, but there is usually something incorrect with this one. With the santa occasion coming to an cease soon i've been looking to do my forty rolls. I can not stay on the sport long enough to even get half manner through. Also very dissatisfied with the reality that i reacted santa however now i have to acquire extra carrots to refill his bag!? Impossible, mainly on the grounds that i can't even play the game. I've tried to contact the sport builders but it appears to move no in which. Maybe a negative evaluate will get interest. After the current replace, it deleted all my facts. I spent tons of cash in the sport and purchased many land marks and leveled up to the museum board. Got here returned to the sport to finish the bunny easter task and the game might not open in any respect. Consent crashes and when it does load it takes me through the tutorial and first board. If there may be handiest one roll of the dice on the way to s**** you be assured you may roll it each unmarried time. A reasonably uninteresting game initially, it doesn't need to hide you continuously too. I roll 60+ times and may not land at the tile designed for the mini game sufficient to even get midway to the prize. This is with hitting the right spot once i do land of the tile. But i will hit some random nothing tile over a dozen times. They're shown as houses, and every unmarried one of them can be upgraded. Now, although a few ask greater Coins for an upgrade, all of them give you the equal quantity of Coins. For example, upgrading normal tiles to level 2 will supply five extra Coins for stepping onto the tile. So, improve inexpensive tiles first, and only after all the reasonably-priced ones are upgraded proceed with upgrading the relaxation. This way, you'll earn more Coins considering that there will be greater upgraded tiles at the board, and could, at the long run, upgrade all everyday tiles faster. I emailed and messaged on facebook and nothing changed into ever constant. I think there must be a restriction on how many Coins you may scouse borrow. I used to be saving up Coins, than some one stole 73,000 Coins from me. I was essentially only left with more or less 5,000. i locate this very unfair, i was so close to deleting the app after this. It might be fine if whilst you had an problem and had to contact "assist" that they in reality were given lower back too you! This game isn't worth it. The developers can not even get the sport to load for days on give up. Do yourself a desire- download another game. This game become a laugh however now it is now not. I don't like the reality that people can thieve your cash because i had one hundred,000 stored up to repair my board and when i logged on i best had one coin left. It's not amusing to me because of that and if i shop up again they'll simply steal it once more and that frustrates me loads. So sad :( like the sport it is a first-rate time passer however one it looks like it takes for all time to gain your cube four in an hour appears sluggish but maybe it's carried out that way so you purchase extra. What i hate maximum about their game and i assume others have touched on is that why is it viable to your Coins to be stolen so normally in this sort of short time. I am no longer sure why you have to be robbed with the aid of four unique human beings inside the spans of an hour. But after i go to do so, i can only upgrade two homes bc i failed to land on some thing unique. I simply think including mini video games could add a new detail on how you can gain more of the critical gadgets you need to transport forward :) code:380-709-706 on multi participant when i visit a pals base after the 2d or 3rd roll you instantly land on a cop. Aside from that it is a decent sport. I lost my previous board when they had little glitch the other day, now i have to start all over, i have spent a lot of time on this game and i was connected with fb it had my picture and everything, i'm really annoyed, this is ridiculous, i have spent countless hours on this game and have spent money... stay clear of this game and if you do play do not spend money, their little so called glitches seem to happen when an event is ending so the people super close to winning the prize don't get it because when the glitch is fixed the event is over! The fact that your Coins can be stolen while actively playing. If a player occupies a tile you have to land on that tile and there is no other way to unlock it. The last two issues prevent progress at points. Love the game! A bit obsessed with it actually . Already spent my real money! I'm a bit upset about the update though. No matter how much i roll i almost like never get any christmas cards. If i were landing on more then i would purchase rolls. I was enjoying this game when all of a sudden i had to start all over again. It's frustrating when you have to go back from the start! So i lost my interest in playing it. 😒😩 i try to login and play this morning with my morning tea, after having won a boat load of rolls, Gems, and Coins during the night for being in the highest upgrade tier, only to see the "server isn't responding." Fix it. This is reeaaallllly disappointing. While the game is fun to play, it steals your Coins. My daughter was playing and i came up on her coin king twice in a row. It told her she stole about 78k from me twice. But it told me she stole 1.57m and 457k. Where did my Coins go if she didn't get them???? I don't mind if someone steals them a a part of the game but this is not what is happening!! The developers are just stealing the Coins in hope that you will buy in their store. It was a timed event and i knew right away that i needed to get ahold of someone. Well my 2 claim tickets about the same glitch were never responded to so finally i had to contact apple for my refund because not only am i frustrated that i never received day 2 but i was completely blocked from day 3 sale only for the event to end before anybody tried assisting me. I will not be purchasing anything anymore from this developer. Please fix! Thanks for such a great game. It's amazing. Fun and time consuming. The only problem is i never have enough rolls. And i can't get anymore. It's making me upset. This game is the best game ever! Not super time consuming, fun to play with friends, and a great way to relax after a long day! There's no game that's similar either! Make sure to like their facebook for giveaways too! Love this game! So easy to catch on and much faster than monopoly!! This game doesn't deserve a full 5 stars but if possible i would give it 4 and a half stars. Board Kings is awesome, but there is one problem your run out of "rolls". Almost every game now has "energy" or "hearts" or "rolls" etc... so you have to wait to get the "rolls". Some people on these reviews say 1 star because you run out of rolls but it's not that bad they are over exaggerating. Somebody also said i spent $50 dollars on this game and it didn't really make a difference. Also, the chase continues after our exciting sticker album, with new and super exclusive prizes for completing sets! Also, the chase continues after our exciting sticker album, with new and super exclusive prizes for completing sets! Are you an avid tiktok user? Or perhaps a business owner interested to use tiktok for social media marketing? Here are the top 8 tiktok stats you should know in 2020: warning, they'll surprise you! In this video, professional skater bri, for appgrooves, tells users about an app called riders that lets skateboarders make impressive tricks learnable, such as this fakie bigspin performed by bri. My wife and 2 kids that play the game thinks it's so funny because they play the game to and can't believe how unfair it is towards me. Which i have to admit sometimes it's funny to me to. That's the only reason i gave 4 stars. 1 star for the unfairness on me but added 3 more stars for the humor my family is getting. Gotta laugh love this game. Would give it five stars if it wasn't for the ads glitch. ✴decide a card, any card! Win free rolls and prizes while you draw playing cards from the thriller pile. ✴issues get actually attention-grabbing when mates present up and attempt to steal out of your board. ✴don't surrender! You'll be able to journey to your mates' boards, too, and wreak havoc! Steal their cash, injury their buildings, and occupy their tiles. ✴ your metropolis will change into the discuss of the city with well-known locations just like the empire state constructing and the eiffel tower. This helps create a fun sense of tension within the gameplay. Will we be able to spend our Gems before another player invades your board? Wise spending is the key here. Later on in the game you will have the opportunity to buy landmarks. These buildings can take up the blank spaces on your board. Landing on a landmark will give the player a bonus. There are different landmarks with different bonuses, such as extra Coins. The progression of Board Kings seems fairly standard as far as mobile games are concerned. For example 3,5, or 10. There are also other ways to improve it but my main concern is improvement to make the game more interesting. If the game improves i will add more stars but if it doesn't i will also write the other problems i'm having. Thank you. I would like to report a problem here in trying to play and it won't let me it keeps saying something went wrong can we fix that cause i really enjoy this game and would like to play today is there going to be a new update or something cause it keeps saying something went wrong it's a really fun game when you can play it... unfortunately i haven't been able to since it logged out from my facebook account. And along with that, comes with the lack of Gems and Coins to upgrade your buildings when you're out of dice rolls. When i'm out of rolls, i like to upgrade everything. But when i go to do so, i can only upgrade two buildings bc i didn't land on anything special. I just think adding mini games would add a new element on how you can gain more of the essential items you need to move forward :) so i started playing this game so i could earn some points on money app. Its amazing features and multiplayer option enhance the fun in the game. Hii i'm not able to download the latest version of Board Kings. I downloaded the app from the above link but when i opened the app it asked me download the latest version. Please help Board Kings (mod unlimited Gems Coins) is the best game for having a lot of fun. You can download it for free from our website. With this mod, you will get unlimited Gems, unlimited Coins and infinite dice rolls on your game account. Won a tournament and didn't receive any of the prize package. Emailed support twice and received no reply. I have made 3 separate in app purchases and haven't gotten anything from them. I message the support team and all i get is an automated response. The game is fun to play when you're bored but for the love of g** do not make an in app purchase.... I really hate how you have to buy packs in order to get good things i'm not a fan of pay to play i wish more apps catered to people for it to be a simple fun game.. but 10 hours for 12 rolls like seriously!!? So now i have two boards that went wrong and out 1,000 ruby's. Is someone going to fix this glitch or people going to keep having this problem? If so i am going to stop spending money and delete the game. Was playing daily for last few months and enjoyed the games and new boards. Updated to latest ios 2 days ago and lost all progress. Get the following message, game retries 2-3 times then reverts to original board. Bad news something is wrong, reconnecting 1140502 thank you, fixed today. Couldn't get into the game all day yesterday (12/23/18), it kept saying it couldn't connect. I uninstalled/reinstalled today. I can finally get into the game, but now it crashes every time i try to get a free card. I don't know what changes you made yesterday, but it wasn't an improvement at all! Board kong's used to be fun, but after they keep adding all these events it's turned into a glitch fest. Game takes forever to load even on perfect internet, keeps unconnecting itself from a connection, keeps not rolling, the current event you roll to go down the sidewalk and it takes forever to land on a number and if you do land on a number it doesn't even bounce along the sidewalk nd you wasted a carrot. And i didn't get any of my rewards. I love this game. Please help :( would rate 5 but didn't get my landmark, rolls, Gems or Coins. So sad. It's a really fun and addicting game but i have one problem with it. When you are rolling and rolling and you are so close to unlocking the next building someone will land on steal and take all your money and you have to wait till the next set a rolls to try again. Man, i love this game. Such a good way to waste time. It's so easy to play, yet is so addicting! Only reason i can't give it 5 stars is that it takes so long for more dice. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️ great game love to play it, my biggest issue is not being able to attack people who steal money on the steal space and the diabolic part of this game that absolutely needs to be removed and changed is this i can get money stolen from me-as im on my board playing the game!!! I've had over 10 million stolen from me in the last 24 hours because i can't progress. It's been almost 4 days now of trying to get my buildings released and i'm about to just quit. It's a shame really because i really enjoyed the game but now it's just become frustrating. I was enjoying the game until i left fb. It seems Board Kings centres everything around fb. Had to delete the app. I'm not gonna start over this game is so much fun and i really enjoy playing. I've used real money in this game and totally unsatisfied that they want me to start all over. Where is the fix for this?? With the recent update i get several pop ups saying something went wrong and then it puts me back at the beginning of the game. I don't want to start over. Please fix this soon. With this past update. I'm unable to log in to my board and it's asking me to start a new game after multiple errors well i gave bk two days to respond to me before writing this, yet they have not responded to multiple emails that i have written to support. So like in 2017 i got a board and then i clicked on the first one you start off with and i still had the circle board but when i clicked the other board it said i didint have th 2nd board anymore please fix it thanks i give this a one star ⭐️ because of this .-. For some reason i am on my fifth tome on the same board and it is getting very boring.also not getting prizes and i have spent lots of money on this game.i contacted tech support with no answer,not the first time.good game but no longer a challenges,spend what i have left and be done. Now i can finally upgrade all my buildings and get a new board!" Nope!!! Why not? Well, that was the first board i was stuck on due to these annoying golden bricks. So, i not only used all my new dice and got maybe 6 of 180 bricks, but in less than 24 hours, the entirety of my 5m plus everything i had earned with my dice rolls was stolen from me. I wrote to the developers and got no response. The minute i start playing i'm immediately pulled in and before i know it, i'm out of rolls. I wouldn't mind waiting if it didn't take at least an hour to get four rolls. Either way i do enjoy the game. Very addicting game! I just wish you could have more then 60 friends for rolls and Gems like go to 300 friends. Really fun game but i got to the second board and almost every time i get enough money it take a more than half away i just wrote a review about 'no cap on stealing?' Remember, these regular tiles can be upgraded indefinitely and higher levels will ask for Gems. So, once you notice that regular tiles ask for Gems in order to be upgraded, finish leveling up other tiles (the ones that ask only for Coins) before leveling up gem-hungry tiles. When you start Board Kings, you'll get a certain amount of freerolls. After you spend them there are two options. You can either pay Gems (which can be won by playing or bought for real money) for new rolls or you can wait for your rolls to refill. The fines usually cost just a couple of hundred of Coins, which you can earn again with just a few rolls. It's certainly better than spending precious rolls in order to get a double. Board kinks will offer you to watch ads in order to get additional rolls. Watching ads to get prizes is helpful in most other games offering the option since the prizes can be quite helpful. Sadly that's not the case in Board Kings. You see, the ads usually last half a minute, and the prize is just one additional roll! I love this game! But i can't log in. It's crashed. Keeps saying something is wrong with my internet connection but there's not. Something is wrong. Calm lake has a huge amount of multiple accounts. People like that hit you with all of their accounts and completely drain you of cash, and destroy your buildings. After latest update. Game doesn't load. I loved this game. My daughter loved this game. We were inviting other family members to join us and were planning to play all through christmas. However it has a good concept to the game i play it when i'm bored but starting to play it less and less because how frustrating it gets i collected all the pieces to get a new dice and it says collect and win 100 dice after but i never got my 100 dice. This my 4th board of me not getting it. Help!! If you'd like some easy rolls add me! Have a few more spots open. With that done with, liking the game so far! Step 1. Before you go to the download section and begin to play the game. It is recommended that you have to uninstall any previous version of the board king (if installed). Step 3. Again, before installing the game, you have to make sure that you have enabled the unknown sources option from the settings of your device. To allow installation from unknown sources go to settings> security option> unknown sources> enable it. The point to keep in mind is that this option can be found in different sections of settings in different devices. Also, i know the whole "random roll" thing is totally fake because you can clearly see the pattern of going around the board five or six times, falling just one tile short of the important stuff, then suddenly landing on things. Please fix soon, thanks i enjoy the game to a great extent, like 5 stars. However, i think being able to steal other's Coins is unacceptable. You wait hours to build your elixir and earn currency, all to have it taken away. Please make this right. I enjoyed playing the game as something to look forward to in the evening as, it takes quite a while to fully reload. I was almost up to level 20 and found that all my progress was lost and it tried to start me off at the very beginning. I decided it wasn't worth it. No way to recover my progress and no way of knowing if it would happen again. 😏 thanks for the help. You totally figured out the problem and everything is as it should be. When we started upgrading the board my game crashed so that was really stupid and sad but its fine now!!! I really hope you all enjoy the video!!! By adding your company profile to digital.nyc your startup becomes an active part of the city's official hub for technology. Startup listings for digital.nyc are powered by gust.com, the world's largest platform for startup funding. You can update your free profile at any time through the gust dashboard or even take things a step further by using your profile to leverage all the benefits gust has to offer. No where does it state that the prize is a competition and a chance to win the prize. So many people spent real money to get 50 building upgrades. Only to get either 1/10 of the prize or no prize at all. Contacted game support, only for them to claim its from a winners list even though the challenge ad claimed otherwise. Any company that tries to trick you should be avoided. Fun and addicting 6/5 stars man this game is awesome though i'd rather not wait for dice but this is so fun i had a level 7 board with 200k money(was about to level up) and rare idol pieces and i turned my game on today and it started me over. But i have a suggestion make it to where you can roll more downloaded and played this game as an offer for cash points on another game. They took the offer down knowing it would take longer to reach level 3 than the offer would be up leaving everything bill and void. If they are that dishonest and skeezy to get you to even download the game- don't be surprised when the game itself starts getting dishonest and skeezy also. I warned ya. Anyways i've been doing really well, not sure what level i was on, but i had made it to the inferno board. Then suddenly i opened up the game yesterday and it had reset back to the beginning, asking me to pick a starting character, etc.... I have never had that happen on a game before. I have reached out on their facebook page and now here. If they don't respond then i am done playing Board Kings. Posting this as a warning to anyone else who may be tempted to spend real money on this game.... apparently they have a glitch that could possibly cause you to lose everything! The concept is simple and to the point, which keeps my short attention span lol. I appreciate this game and all it has to offer. Add me 640-983-305 :) why the h*** are you allowing a conspiracy theorist and alt-right hate monger advertise on your app? It's disgusting to think kids might see this crap. Shame on you. This game can be a lot of fun. However, after months of building up my board, i logged on one day to find the game had reset, and all my progress was gone. The Board Kings consist a little hard gameplay. In the starting of the game, players need to select a story among various types of stories which are present in the game. The game includes all types of stories like romance, stories, drama, and horror, etc. After selecting the story, one needs to create a character according to their choice. There are two main currencies in the game that are Gems and rolls. It takes a long time which is near about 3 hours to create currencies in the form of Gems and rolls. This game is a joke! If you have money to waste then its your loss because there is no win to this game!!!!! This game is capital-r retarded, as is anyone who plays it. There is, literally, no objective in this game. It's just pay-to-play stripped down to its absolute most basic premise. You can pay to roll dice more often, so you can roll dice, so you can move a game-piece around a board. That is it. That's the entirety of the game. I don't wanna start over! I was really enjoying the game- it auto updated and now it won't let me long back in and the one time it let me it had booted me back to the beginning. I hope it won't stay like that since i made it pretty far, it would be such a pain if i had to start the game from the beginning all over again. I'd probably delete it if that happens. Love the game, but yesterday morning my game refused to open. This all needs to be fixed. Make the events fair to those of us who can't buy rolls and Gems to play. Fix the login issue. At first i loved this game then, as i upgraded things became a little irritating because now im being stolen from or robbed faster than i can get my money back. I've started to become stagnant in the game because i finally have money to upgrade then, and even as i'm playing the game, someone robs me of 132,000. All the challenges are unrealistic to achieve unless you actually put money into it. Even the mini games on the boards have been hard to finish. Don't expect getting much from this game unless you put into it. The animation is adorable and the gameplay is so fun and addictive! One complaint though: four rolls per one hour?! Ridiculous!! A reasonable thing would be like two rolls per ten minutes or something?? Like seriously you would have to wait seven hours to actually refill your roll bar also one more complaint: the fact that some random stranger can steal all your money is just super annoying. 😭😭😭 fix this! 😭😭 not sure what's going on, but one minute i had over 2k Gems and the next minute it was down to 200 after i used the train. Same with the rolls. I won the 4 of a kind event and my rolls went from over 1000 to 2oo+. Granted, i haven't spent any money on the game but what the heck. Be consistent. Maybe it will glitch again and i'll have a bunch of Gems again. I'll spend the heck out of them because they will be gone if i don't... I've been playing everyday for over a month. I constantly get on and play every few hours. Lately i've been very frustrated though. 4 rolls every 60 minutes. Is nothing. I feel like i have no changes to make any progress unless i abandon my favorite game for servers hours. The makers should be giving every player 5 rolls every 30 minutes. This would make players much happier and keep smiles on their faces while playing. I hate getting onto my game and seeing 4 rolls and having to wait 1 hours for 4 more. I promise you if you spend even $10.00 dollars on this game it will make a difference. I really liked it in the beginning but its like i only play it for 5 minutes and i'm out of roles. And it's super annoying how the same person comes back to my board literally everyday and they always always destroy my buildings and own them! I will no longer be playing this game. Love the game. The visuals. The icons you get to buy with Gems. I only downloaded it to earn points for another game. I was supposed to just reach level 2 and my job was done. I have no idea what i'm doing in this thing and just kept rolling the dice. Just as i was about to hit the next level, it wouldn't let me advance unless i paid for extra rolls. What a scam. So played for five minutes thinking this was easy and then a give us your money type of loop. -when you save up your Gems to 500 to purchase a new board, you should be able to preview it first. I spent 500 Gems on a board i ended up disliking and don't even use and Gems are so hard to come by, so 500 was a lot to waste! -the rewards you get for watching ads are minuscule, i don't mind watching ads, i do in a lot games, but with this game i feel like it's not worth the 30secs. This makes it impossible for you to advance in the game. Forcing you to spend your own money i refuse to do that because i've already spent enough. Make adjustments please, i refuse to keep playing if adjustments are not made. Also i spent a good amount of Gems on the vending machine and didn't get any items. I love the game but the support is terrible. I've put in tickets and no response. I decided, like an idiot, to make a purchase. Other than tha it is a great game i love this game and have played it for a while. However, there are a couple of things that irk me. The contests, like santa's sled, are easier for some people than others. The pieces have shorter distances to go but the rewards are smaller between players. I can probably get over that. My real question is why my husband got four rolls per hour and then five and now six rolls per hour when i'm at a much higher level than him and still only get four. Then the christmas update came and after getting my beginner stickers, i've gotten no random roll stickers since. Idk if i'm doing something wrong (mindful i've been playing constantly since i got the app about a week ago) or if it's a bug. Either way i will gladly add another star if y'all fix this. I loved this game and as a result have spent actual money on this game.... welp wouldn't you know it after spending real money the game started to glitch out and steal my rolls!! I really hope the developers start looking at these comments and actually improving instead of writing back "please give us 5 stars". I am absolutely addicted to this game! So much fun! Although it's a little confusing at first, it's so easy to figure out i was looking in the app store for some new games and that's when i cam across Board Kings!i really liked its concept so i got it.after starting i was really happy because i like playing board games but my sisters never play with me.its super easy and i love the little town and the bunny's!although the 1 thing i don't like is i realized that i end up using up my dice rolls super fast and it takes pretty long for the to come back.so when i run out of dice i just get off of the game because there is nothing to do anymore.so i would love if jelly button made the dice come back faster this game is amazingly addictive and i love it. We don't facebook and don't want to have to create fake facebook accounts and log in that way. We just want to enjoy this cute little game on our phones. I've restarted my phone. Restarted the app. Checked that i'm logged into the game center. Updated the app. I still can't get my board back and have lost all my progress. I was almost at level 10 and had made it to the second new board. I'm not starting over. I'll just delete this junk and find something else. However, they never replied, never fixed my issue, never even attempted to pretend to care! Very disappointed. Since this last update i can't be in the game for more than 2 minutes before getting kicked out then can't get back in. They claim to be working on it but i don't know. Giving up for now i have restarted the game and my phone multiple times. I also reinstalled the game and it refuses to connect. The app is now just taking up space on my phone. I had 163,172 Coins (used all my spins for that) and 113,741 stolen which left me with 49,431. ((edit: out of the left over 49k i got stolen 3 more times and was left with 1k)) i've also had a time where i got stolen two minutes apart which left me to hardly any Coins, just really? That's more than half of what i struggled to earn. Another thing on the events, maybe for them to be held a little longer they seem rather short and quick, or have more events more often. I started this game because i love playing board games! Now i can honestly say i'm addicted! I wake up check my rolls! Middle of the day check my rolls before bed i check them again! I love that they keep adding new boards and i love collecting all my idols and messing up my friends boards!!! Keep this game going strong! Earlier i was angry for what happened to my save file but now it can back and this game is better than ever!!!!! Please help you will love to play it with your friends. This time the game is fully unlocked with the new features and advanced levels. However, the gameplay includes a traditional board on which you can play with your friends. Added with different colors of dice and social media platforms, the game becomes quite amazing. The game is made so easy that even a kid can play it. Well, you can also give them their entertainment and there is nothing any unwanted online stuff that can harm them. I've never even been given the option to steal that much from any other players who had that amount. It's not even just to steal that amount from someone. You guys are con artists. This game is pretty great i decided i'd buy more rolls and everything on one of their "specials" but i didn't get the rolls or anything!! It made me extremely angry. So the game is good and all, fun and ive spent my own money to collect cards and more rolls but once i collected another set it gave me my rolls and then they disappeared so it was all for nothing, rip off on the game. How can i reclaim it??? Ive landed on it, increased cash, Gems, & happiness-i'm stumped? When i land in jail, the only "release " i have is to spend Gems... I thought we were supposed to have the choice of either paying a cash fine or rolling doubles? Also, i have the maximum amount of cops allowed, how do i reposition them? Yes, the only options you have after being arrested is paying the fine with Gems or going home. I'm not sure where they got rolling doubles from. But, with every up there is a down. The only problem is that i have to wait sooooo long for the next batch of 4 dice and i think Board Kings could fix how long until the next die or make more die for the amount of time we have to wait. Other than that, i really enjoy this game! The problem with this game is that it costs way to much to upgrade buildings. Also, when there is an event, the game becomes rigged it seems like so that it is impossible to win anything. Trusted and commonly accepted libraries (e.g. Google sdk, facebook sdk, signal sdk) are not displayed. Specific sast test reveals all remote hosts present in the source code of the mobile application where the application may connect to send or receive data at occurrence of a specific event (e.g. User action). Specific dast test provides a comprehensive list of all http/s requests sent by the mobile application without interaction with user. For continuous monitoring purposes, we suggest you exploring our award-winning immuniweb® discovery offering tailored for continuous monitoring with flexible 24/7 notifications. Dont spend your money. They do a great job of reeling you in at first. They make dice rolls, Gems, and Coins seem much more attainable than they truly are, especially as you get farther into the game. It isn't necessarily pay to win, but it just isn't fun anymore unless you want to shell out some money every day. To put things into perspective, i'm on the final board at the moment. That isn't a problem at all because they actually are very prompt with releasing new boards. Have you ever wanted to own your own board game, all along with houses, hotels, interesting tiles to step on, and other players that can come to your board and play on it a bit? Well, Board Kings does all that, and more. The game lets you build your own board game, expand it by adding more tiles, build and upgrade house tiles in order to get more Coins by stepping on one, and visit other player boards to get huge rewards, destroy their buildings, and steal their money! What a load of crap. Deleted. I just love playing this game !! It's addicting and fun for all ages! The bunnies are also cute as can be ☺️ i love it 😊 because of how we can go to random people or to friends or get revenge on somebody who has beaten you! 😉😉😉😉 don't listen to the haters because the haters gonna hate. For a long time it said i had 2 more landmark spots but it would not allow me to place them. My 11 million Coins were stolen overnight, leaving less than 100,000 of what i had purchased. After reading some of the comments, i'm convinced that the developers construct the game so that they can s***** your Coins and boosters away hoping you'll just fork over more to to play. I play several other games and your purchases remain for your gameplay only. Fraudulent i didn't know what to expect at first, but once i started playing i figured out that it is a lot of fun, i just started a couple of days ago and haven't stopped. I rarely make in app purchases, but i did for this game . I made 2 purchases of bundle 4 for 3.99 but was only given 1 , however, my card was charged twice . I've tried to contact support but i don't even see the option of actually speaking to or contacting a real person, only faqs. For that and the run around i quit and give it 1 star the game steals your Gems. You have he option to supplement building with Gems, however it does not ask if you want to use them, the game will just take them if you click too many times. Plus i haven't come across any legitimate problems yet. I actually love this game, but it really made me angry that when i spent my money to buy extra rolls and cash, that as soon as the transaction was complete, someone stole $13m from me. Freaking ridiculous. And why do i never see the 10 free rolls cards anymore? Game is pretty fun, a bit frustrating. Got ripped off on my award but i think it was a fail on the other app. I hope they will fix the number of rolls you get. I mean why 4 rolls per hour. You want to make the game more interesting and fun. We want more interactions and more chances to play this game. The major problem is the simplicity of the game and the amount of time people invest in the game since there aren't much stuff you can do once you run out of rolls. I believe changing the hour to a few mins will make this game a game friends will be able to play a lot so that they can steal each other's Coins. Now, the events amazed me, they were great! Was a little unhappy you had to adventure to different boards instead of just picking one, but it was a neat concept. New boards and idols were neat to see. But today also showed me some of the major flaws in this game... for instance while trying to collect board pieces i had gained a ton of Gems that i was pretty happy to spend when i got to the new board, i had like 500,000 and something. Or when you need just a few extra rolls in order to send a couple of more cop cars out before exiting the game. Remember, this can be of huge help but use it only when really need to. This way you'll be able to spend all of your Coins before leaving the game, making your board less interesting for other players to invade it. Thank you for reading our Board Kings guide. We really hope it has been a helpful reading, and we hope you learned something that will aid you while you build a perfect game board. Sometimes it's hard to earn the carrots or other objects required for the current promotion. But,playing the game is fun. This game has been fun, but ever since a few days ago i can't enter the game. The loading bar is full but it won't let me enter the game. If you fix this i'll gladly give 5 stars. Edit: a new update seems to have fixed this! A fun game this game is fun when you are playing with friends, but when my friend spent money to get millions of Coins, i decided to rob him. I had 40 rolls and got 73,000 cash, the game let some steal 46,000 cash. I was going to upgrade all of my buildings but after i l

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

URGENT!!! Please! My body gets all anxious and my hearts starts pounding really fast when I look at my binder to put it on! I also don't breath PERFECT and I sometimes get anxiety attacks from my binder:( but I want to wear it because I'm dysphoric! What can I do?

Devon says:

It sounds like you’re having an anxiety attack when you go to put on your binder. Before putting on your binder, you could try a deep breathing exercise. That’s what helps me, personally, the most to prevent anxiety attacks.

If you don’t breath well wearing your binder, it could be from your anxiety or from an incorrect-sized binder. I would recheck your binder’s size and your chest measurements. It is possible that your chest has grown if you’re young. Wearing a properly sized binder can make it harder to breath, but not in an unsafe or painful way.

Here is a guide to see if you have a physical problem from binding.

I think you should try to think about some of these things: What makes you anxious about your binder? Are you not out, or recently out, and afraid of peoples’ reactions? Does the restriction/pressure alone make you panic? Does thinking about transitioning make you anxious?

If your anxiety is about getting a binder-related injury, following this advice might help you feel better.

Writing in a journal (or just in a word document) about your anxiety might help you to think more clearly about it. You could also talk it through with a friend or family member who you’re out to– especially a trans friend/ family member.

If you find anxiety affecting your life in other areas, on a daily basis, I would definitely recommend looking into starting medication (see a psychiatrist first of course) or meeting with a therapist regularly.

I am unable to bind because I get anxiety attacks when my chest is compressed. I see a therapist and take an anti-depressant (I’m also depressed) that lowers my general anxiety level. 

Over the past couple years, I’ve gotten to a point where I get anxiety attacks from physical stuff a lot less often (I used to get anxiety attacks almost daily from tight sports bras, hot weather, a tight shirt touching my neck, etc). But, I’m still not at the point where I can bind without panicking.

My situation is probably an extreme. Since you only sometimes get anxiety attacks while wearing your binder, it definitely seems possible to overcome that and be able to bind when you want to.

Everyone is different, and I know a ton of people with anxiety disorders who bind without it being a problem. You’ve got this!!

Let me know if you (or any other followers) have more questions about anxiety and trans stuff!

Lee says:

You might also want to consider taking your binder off if you find you’re having an anxiety attack that you’re unable to manage or cope with, and then put it back on after if possible. 

Like Devon said, your binder may be too small which might be contributing to the problem if it’s the physical feeling of the compression that makes you anxious. If that’s the case, then getting a binder in a size up that only compresses your chest and not your stomach might help.

My binder is less tight than a sports bra and a lot more comfortable than a sports bra, but when I had a smaller binder I found it more stressful to wear and I could only wear it for a few hours before it became overwhelming. If your binder is more tight than a sports bra or less comfortable than one, then maybe it’s too small. Basically, getting a binder in a size up could help even if your current binder doesn’t make it hard to breathe apart from the anxiety because a larger binder might be less constricting and therefore less anxiety-inducing to wear. 

Binding for shorter periods of time to let yourself become acclimated to the sensation can also help because it’s like exposure therapy which is backed up by scientific evidence as helping anxiety. Since you said you become anxious just looking at your binder, you can try leaving it out on your desk chair or somewhere so you get used to the sight of it and it isn’t an unusual experience seeing it. That may help desensitize you so you get adjusted to just having it as a part of your daily life.

When you bind for only 30-40 minutes and do your breathing, you can see that nothing bad happened to you and you didn’t get hurt. Then you can try to counteract your anxiety by reminding yourself “I did this last week, and nothing bad happened to me so I know that this time I’ll be okay too”. As you get used to what it’s like to bind, you can increase the time from 1 hour a day to an hour and a half, and then 2 hours, and so on. You may want to spend a week at each time interval but you can move faster or slower depending on your comfort level.

You can also try only binding while you watch 1 episode of your favorite TV show at first, because watching a show you like will help you associate binding with pleasant activities. When I first tried Nutella I always ate it when I watched Stargate: Atlantis, and then after I wasn’t able to find a link to watch the next season I stopped eating Nutella until one day I saw it and had it as a snack and it reminded me of the show instantly. 

Associations like that are also known as triggers, which can be positive or negative emotional reactions in response to some stimuli, and one trigger you may have is the association of binding with anxiety. If you can re-write the trigger so you associate your binder with being happy watching your show and with being happy because you look flat, things may be less stressful. 

Now I’m going to address the second part of your message- the dysphoria. Our dysphoria page has info on coping with dysphoria, and some of the advice may help you manage your dysphoria in other ways if you aren’t able to bind at certain times. 

If you find that you have anxiety about more things than just binding and it’s impacting the quality of your life we really recommend Telling your parents you struggle with mental illness/anxiety and want to see a mental health professional like a therapist. You don’t have to mention that it’s trans related if you’re closeted- you could just give the general symptoms that impact you. We have more info on Getting a therapist and being in therapy in that post that might help there.

I’m not always able to bind, usually related to sensory issues and not anxiety (Although I do have anxiety disorders) but doing other gender-affirming things like packing really helps me then. Everyone who knows me IRL knows I love packing because it doesn’t give me anxiety like binding does and it’s less physically intensive so you can wear it for longer periods of time. We have info on getting a packer and packing in our Packers and STPs post, or packing without a packer. 

Our transmasculine resources page has info on getting masc clothes, and that could also be something you could try doing if you haven’t already. When I can’t bind, knowing at least I’m wearing men’s clothes can help my dysphoria. Even just wearing men’s underwear is a good option if you’re closeted because nobody knows you’re wearing it. Again, check out the dysphoria page for more coping tips!

Not being able to bind feels awful when you have a big enough chest that it’s pretty noticeable to others and they’ll misgender you if you don’t bind (oh, how I hate that my chest automatically gives me away as AFAB from a distance!) but it isn’t the end of the world. Hopefully you’ll be able to get acclimated to binding, but you’ll make it through the days you can’t bind, and you can try to do other things to cope and address your mental health. You may be able to get top surgery one day, and researching and planning and saving for that can help you feel like you’re doing something to step in the right direction. Plus, sweatshirts are man’s masc’s best friend. Who cares if it’s summer! Again: You got this. Below are all the links I’ve gathered on anxiety and panic attacks, some of which should prove useful for you.

Anxiety:

Anxiety Masterpost

Introduction to anxiety

How to calm yourself during an anxiety attack

Coping statements for anxiety

Cognitive restructuring for anxiety

Anxiety guide

Worry self-help

Worry tree

Worry zones

Mastering your worries

How to handle worries

Facing fears

Decatastrophizing: The “What If” Technique (Worksheet)

Theory A/Theory B

Anxiety and intrusive thoughts

Challenging anxious thoughts

How to Combat Your Anxiety, One Step at a Time

Panic attacks:

What are panic attacks?

Surviving panic attacks

How to cope with panic attacks

Information on panic attacks and coping

Panic attacks workbook

Panic self-help

How to calm yourself during a panic attack

Panic stations

7 steps to managing panic attacks

7 steps to cope with panic attacks

How to cope with triggers you can’t avoid

Followers, any advice on binding with anxiety?

[galacyan-imagine]

Worries [ENG]

Pairing: Pietro Maximoff x Reader Summary: You are one of those people addicted to adrenaline, you don’t experience pain in a normal way, which brings some dangers. You aren’t afraid to take risks or put yourself in harm's way. This worries Pietro more than it should but for what reason? Genre: Fluff / Love-Hate relationship. Warnings: Angst and dangerous behaviour, but don’t worry folks, I'm a happy ending girl… at least today. Word count: 2956 N/A: So I wrote this to @quicksilverslover on the last Brazilian Valentine's Day (12/06), and it took a while but I'm posting the English version. Thanks again for the request Nikki. Finally, Georgia (@greeneyedgirls4), thank you so much for being my beta.

They say that fear and pain are two of the main feelings responsible for the survival instinct of human beings. But when your genes cause you to experiment both in a different way, probably some of your instinct will amplify or restrict. This dynamic undergoes inevitable changes when you have a faster healing factor than a normal human being, a relationship not so aversive to pain, and a sense of equilibrium close to a feline. With these characteristics, it seemed natural for Y/N to look for experiences that would challenge her. An exhaust valve, and at the same time a way to recharge her adrenaline. Thus the practice of some more challenging sports seemed the ideal option. Parkour was her gateway, the introduction to adrenaline. Truly dangerous experience in fact, but when completed provide an enormous satisfaction. That was the beginning, its evolution, nevertheless sought ecstasy, the choice of BASE Jump didn't seem unexpected as it allowed the heady, intoxicating and unforgettable sensation supplied by the combination of adrenaline, endorphin and dopamine. Perhaps, at that moment in her life, the only thing that came as a surprise to her was the fact that she had been recruited for these abilities. In addition to raising her thirst for intense emotions to another level, being in the midst of the Avengers was an out to test her to the fullest. But of course these trials were not always beneficial, and she did not resent bruises. That was the easy part, the complications were on people's minds. In her case: the Maximoff twins, who took it seriously whenever they had a chance. — If you want to continue this insane attempt to kill yourself, be my guess, but next time try not to do that in the middle of a mission. — That was the last of the constant implications of the blond speedster. A great way to thank her for covering their back. Not that she cared about the injury from a badly calculated free fall. It wasn't very serious, at least not for her. Y/N’s body would take a maximum of three days to get back to full functions. She would heal as if nothing had happened. Of course, that didn't stop Pietro from being annoyed, he showed his scowl as he watched Clint, who in Bruce's absence took care of the injuries and immobilised a fracture. Y/N even understood the fact that Wanda was around, they got along very well after all but Y/N kept wondering what the hell Pietro was doing there. Her momentary justification was a bad taste for unspoken discussions, as for during the whole procedure, the two had been facing each other both wearing an unfriendly expression. — Try not to force that leg, at least until tomorrow, okay? — Barton warned as he adjusted her orthopaedic boot: — you can even heal easily, but that doesn't leave you free of regenerating your bones wrong. — Don't let her get tempted by a brand new free fracture. — Pietro murmured, gaining an icy look in reply. — I'm going to behave, Clint. — Assured the young woman, smiling as sweetly as she could for the older man, then questioning. — Am I dismissed, sir? From Barton's expression he didn't fully believe the first part, but as he had learned for some time, Y/N’s persistence eventually triumphed over everyone. — Of course, and Wanda, please, try to keep her away from the outer top of the tower, please. The witch smiled, nodding at Clint, in the meantime her brother was rolling his eyes for the eleventh time that afternoon. Y/N got up leaving the room, yet for her most unpleasant surprise, merely managed to get to the door. She had barely taken three steps when the Sokovian was already on her side. She turned ready to counter any injury he might throw, but instead, Pietro decided for an opposing approach. Without even tell anything, or giving a signal of what he would do, the silver haired man wrapped an arm behind her knees, giving Y/N the momentary sensation that she would fall, but soon being supported by the other arm of the speedster around her waist. The unexpected movement caused her to snort. And though that mild cold in her stomach was a kind of micro sensation of the emotion she sought in her jumps, she compelled herself to label it negatively. — Put me down! — She demanded stiffly. Pietro lifted his chin, not even staring at her, but amused himself internally by the situation. The effect of the supposed rage considerably softened by the fact that she was holding onto his shoulders to avoid a fall. — No. A single word in a tone of petulance. Typical. — Pietro, what the hell do you think you're doing? He sighed, this time deciding to look at the girl, which only served to irritate her: — Keeping your foot away from the ground. — Oh, really, don't tell me!? — she countered wryly. Wanda and Clint watching the scene and tried their best not to laugh. — It doesn't take many neurones to understand that you need to rest as much as possible. — Despite his blunt tone, his eyes were serious, but of course, Y/N was too furious to notice that. — I was on my way to do that ... — she snorted, fidgeting. — In the footsteps of a crippled turtle. Y/N opened her mouth, red faced with such anger. Hawkeye, fearing for another long round of epic argument resolved to intervene. After all, the last one had taken a good part of the night. And as much as he loved betting on the girl for those, there were still more things to do. — As much as I don't like to agree with him, — he said, couldn't resist teasing the blonde just a little, — Pietro isn't wrong. It would be good for you resting for today. Y/N shoot him with her eyes. Traitor! Clint shouldn't be in favour of Maximoff in any discussions, after all, even with their background, she well knew that the boy still irritated him with his jokes and pranks. The convinced smile on Maximoff's face only made him more irritating. Y/N clenched his fists around the boy's arm trying to induce some effect, but he promptly ignored it. — See? Even the old man knows when I right. Barton ignored the part that concerned him, shook his head, and left the resentment. Wanda, trying to comfort the girl, said: — Relax, Y/N! Enjoy while Piet is willing to play a slave or horse and transport you wherever you want. — Huff! — The sound came out in unison from both of them, which only served to make everything even funnier. But for the merit of the speedster, he was pleased just for winning this battle. But of course, Y/N would never admit defeat. Stubborn? Probably, but obviously wouldn't be the only one.

-x-

She hated being sick, well maybe sick is a very strong word, but you can understand the idea of forced rest. In other circumstances, she wouldn't complain about having a personal assistant to help her with everything she needed, but professionals didn't judge or make inconvenient comments, and that was definitely not what was happening. The whole problem began with the fact that most of the team members had plans for that night. Rogers had finally given into Nat's advice and called Sharon for a date, Stark had disappeared somewhere in the world with Pepper, Banner had been gone a few days, and Barton decided to go home. Even Wanda, who said she would not leave had disappeared to God knows where with Vision. So she only had one 'volunteer' for the job. Of course, the situation could always get worse: the reason for the massive evasion was the date in question, Valentine's Day. She had made plans herself, not with anyone specific, but she always found a way to attend some Valentine's Day Singles Party. She still considered going but was immediately barred by Barton. — But it’s already "tomorrow"! — She tried to argue, reminding him of what he'd said the day before. Vainly, he just stared at her with disdain, replaced the velcro of the orthopaedic boot and added: — Who plays the doctor here? Y/N, pedantic as possible rebutted: - Bruce. That even made Clint laugh, but nothing worked for her cause. — Nice try! Now you... — Barton pointed at the blond who was inconveniently there, — take care of her. And simple as it seemed, Pietro had no choice but to do what he was asked. Well, at least that was he kept repeating to himself. No way he wanted to be alone with her, mostly if you just take the timing into account. No way! This was just a matter of letting his friends and sister enjoy their dates, whether casual or not, without any obligation. A burden he could fulfil because he was not interested in relationships at this current time. Obviously, this did not please Y/N at all. The idea of being alone with Pietro, even on missions, left the hair of her nape stand up. Her instincts were screaming that it wasn't safe, much less a good idea, and she associated it with the fact that he was a professional prankster. That's why she was nervous, just for that, right? Forcing herself to answer this question made her swallow hard. Better to change direction. Thinking too much always made her anxious, even claustrophobic. The speedster hadn't given a sign of life for the last hour. Since she had thrown him out of her room to concentrate on a book. But now she was starting to get bored. She could feel her body tingle from the abstinence of movement. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the bed, sharpening her ears in an attempt to get some clue about Pietro's whereabouts. Nothing. Okay, maybe she could take the time the man had given her to get some fresh air. The terrace of the building was always a good option. And, she didn't need a bodyguard to get there. It took a little longer than usual because she wanted to walk slowly so as not to arouse suspicion. The delay was at least rewarded with the view. The edge of the building automatically caught her attention, making her walk up to the parapet and sit on it. Her legs casually on the outside, hanging in the air. The feeling was good for a few seconds, and then it seemed to her as if they had shown her with a box of sweets, and gave her only a small piece. A clear side effect of having increased your doses of adrenaline. It was driven by the release of this hormone, she admitted. The curiosity to know if she could already walk the wide edge of the parapet was almost instantaneous, and even if it wasn't a good decision she got up. The foot, in her opinion still unnecessarily immobilised, was making this a little difficult, but nothing that would stop her from trying.

-x-

Inertia: for a speedster, this is probably one of the biggest impossibilities. Soon it was not long before Pietro became annoyed. Y/N had locked himself in the room, and he had already wandered through the house. Oddly, he'd discovered that his sister had disappeared. Seeing the intimacy between her and the sintopoid he decided not to look for them. So Pietro ended up in the Y/N room but was banned from there as well. This definitely hampered his hobby of provoking her teammate. Pietro grinned, mentally replaying how 'sensible' she was when she was nervous. Her face turned slightly red making the tone of the girl's eyes intensified, looking even more vivid. And of course, when she was fed up with her pinpricks, she would step off hard, clenched fists and tight arms. And as hard as he tried not to notice, the hips swelled sharply. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the mental image. Maybe he should take a walk, being locked up was not giving him much coherence. Pietro left for the outside area just to relax, not looking to observe anything specifically. But the day wasn't so bad, he thought, watching the sky, and then almost had a heart attack; Y/N was balanced on one leg at the top of the building, her hair hanging in the breeze. As he watched, she opened her arms, letting the wind through, and he was sure she would crash on the floor. In less than five seconds he reached her, dragging her off the edge and stopping in the centre of the terrace. — What the hell, Y/N!? Did you lose your mind? — He was breathing heavily, not from exhaustion, but from a deep feeling that had seized his being. — Does your ability to regenerate nullify any value you give your life? Y/N felt confused. In a second it seemed almost like she was flying. The wind around her enveloped and gave a wonderful feeling. In the other, a glow of speed and then nothing but Pietro was upset. It was not like in the fights for pranks, besides the anger, she could distinguish a deep hurt that she did not understand. This made her feel a little distressed. — Pietro ... — Y/N tried to pull away, the grief making her angry too. She didn't like these strange feelings, even in her jump she tried to keep as much control as she could. — Shit! I was just ... — You're an addict! An addict with no regard for the people around you! — He interrupted in an angry accusation. — So what if I like adrenaline? That's what brought me to the group in the first place, — she raged, then put her finger on his chest. — Of all people here you should understand that the most! Are you going to tell me that you don't enjoy your super-speed? Whenever you can, you boast of it, you boast of the sensation, the energy of what you feel as you run around. And don't come to me with this consideration discourse after Sokovia! Okay. She was not intending to touch that last point, but for some reason, she had no filter to hold it back. — That was different ... — he countered furiously as she turned her focus to him. — Different my ass! if you even considered that you would be hurt, almost turning yourself into a sieve, you accepted to take the risks in same way! Wait, did she resent it? — But... — But nothing! It was the same thing, I did the same in the last mission. And every time I get hurt you got pissed off, like it that was not a risk from the work, as if it wasn't a risk that each of us accepts from the moment we decided to join the team. — The words came out in a spurt, she had not planned them, but they were all there. Pietro turned red, the colour was very strange in the features always marked by light tones. The crimson was a great contrast to the platinum hair but made the blues of his eyes even denser. He took a deep breath, the irritation turning momentarily to himself. Y/N absorbed all those details, it felt strange, almost like something was throbbing. — I ... I get pissed because I don't want you to get hurt! — Pietro almost snarled the phrase, which became even more peculiar in his accent. — As if you had a fight with everyone on the team who got hurt, right? Damn it! Pietro didn't want to admit that even to himself, however obvious, but if he had already begun to go down to hell, so then let him dance with the Devil: — I care about you more, okay? He would not say more than that, he was not ready for that. — You ... care... you what? Pietro ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. Was it that hard to understand? The blonde bit one lip, taking less than a second to decide the next move... he approached her, more slowly than he ever did. Pietro took her face in his hands and then gently brushed his lips against hers. Y/N's eyes widened at first, she could feel his breath, and then the unexpected, soft contact. She closed her eyes, feeling his approach, her body reacting with a hormonal discharge, shivers. It was almost like one of her jumps. She returned the kiss; Avid, voracious, thirsty. It was a free fall. When they finally parted, he smiled, a sagacious smile completely natural to him. — Is that clear enough to you? She rolled her eyes but smiled. She bit her lip, feeling surprisingly peaceful, but her pulse thudded in her ears. A feeling very much like what she was looking for in calculated danger, but her feet were firmly on the ground. — Maybe ... I'm not sure yet. She came up to him and put her arms around his shoulders. Y/N wanted to try it again, and Pietro had no objection to it. Her subconscious has registered a likely new source of dopamine. She didn't know if he could completely obliterate her adrenaline addiction, but at the moment the advantages seemed promising. And at the end of the night, it turned out that the singles Avengers enjoyed their Valentine's Day very well.

_____ Request are Open: Marvel, H5-0, DC (Lucifer, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow or Constantine), Elementary, Sherlock, Q (007), TGW, Assassin’s Creed, etc. I can try to write about any character/celebrities as long as you give me a lot of information about it and have a little patience ('cause I'm a non-native English speaker so it may take a while before your request is posted). P.S. I don’t accept requests with: Lemon/Dark Lemon, self-destructive, Self-harm, Suicide and Abuse content. Sorry guys, but I'm not always psychologically prepared to write things like that. And when I write I generously obey my limits, so no request in that area. | Smut and NSFW prompts/request are welcome 😈😎  | More Pietro Maximoff (MCU) Imagines | My other imagines. |

[science-fiction-is-real]

The Search, It’s problems, and how to fix it,  PART 3: THE REWRITE

The Search comics, which tell the much anticipated story of what happened to Zuko’s mom, were met by the fans with... uhm... mixed reactions.  And for me personally, whenever I find a story disappointing, my first instinct is apply my writer’s hand to see if I can do it better.

In my first post I talked about Ursa, and how she goes from being a badass Lady Macbeth in the show to a wimpy and whiny Desdemona in the comics.

In my second post I talked about Ozai, and how Bryke really had a chance to let him shine as a villain, but they flushed the opportunity down the toilet.

This post I’m going to focus less on Analysis and more on how I actually would retell the story myself. I’m focusing on this point only on Ursa’s story, I’ll deal with how ATLA comics mishandle Zuko and Azula later on.   But in the mean time,  I present to you a summary of The Search 2.0

In my rewrite of “The Search,” I will attempt to address problems I've disgussed earlier in terms of how both Ursa and Ozai are characterized. Problems including:

>The fact Ursa is given very little agency by the writers

>The fact Ursa misuses the agency she is given, behaving in a way contrary to how we are supposed to interpret her.

>The fact Ozai's actions don't do much in terms of being an effective antagonist.

>The fact that Ozai's actions don't match up with any set of motivations.

>The fact Ozai is flat, and emotionally monotone.

I talk more about these problems in my previous two posts.  

Search 2.0 starts out again with Ursa and Ozai meeting and the beginning of their courtship.  But this time, Ursa isn't a peasant from a farming village anymore.  She's a firebender, and a young member of the royal court.  This makes sense considering she is a descendant of the Avatar, which lends itself to bending abilities, and also carries some weight in some social circles.  It also makes more sense for the story.  The fire nation royal family, who are a little obsessed with firebending, wouldn't allow a non bender to marry into the family. Also because I'm upset about how Ursa was constantly depowered and pushed around in the original comics, I want to make her more on an equal playing field with Ozai and her in laws this time around.

The other big change.  Ursa and Ozai do not meet through their parents arranging their marriage.  I always thought the arranged marriage was a cop out plot device to make Ozai seem as unlikable and unappealing as possible.  Completely forgetting that people who are assholes also have raging hormones that allow them to fall in love naturally.  No, In my version, they meet and fall in love voluntarily.  This kills two birds with one stone.  It gives some agency back to Ursa and some control over her own fate.  It also solves Ozai's problem of being annoyingly one dimensional, because now we get to see him do an uncannily human things like kiss girls and blush and show emotions that don't fall between crabby and spiteful hate.  Both of them are fire benders in this version, both know how to kick a little ass, and both have a passion for Fire Nation culture and heritage.  So I'm going to say they met at Fire Bending competition, I'm sure they have Fire Bending sports among the Capitol City Elite.  Maybe they got paired up to spar or something.

During this sparing match, Ursa is overwhelmed by the young princes charm and wit.  He's obviously impressed with her abilities as a fire bender.   And he lays the sugar on her over a period of time.  Pressure mounts from her family and his to accept his courtship.  But what makes her truly attracted to him is his big talk.  This isn't nasty, cynical Ozai we meet in the show.  This is young, sprightly Ozai.  The ten year old Anakin Skywalker version of Ozai.  He has big ideas about how he's going to make the Make America Great Again (TM).  He's going to fix corruption among the Fire Nation Court.  He's going to get shit done (unlike his brother, the care-free prodigy child who has everything handed to him on a silver platter).  Ursa also happens to be an idealist.  And she decides she wants to join him, and take on the responsibility of being a member of the royal family.

That's another thing I want to change.  I want to take a little bit of time to talk more about Ozai. Villains are important.  And Villain origins are literally the most interesting thing ever, in my important.  So over the course of New Search, we're going to watch young idealist Ozai become corrupted by his own ambition and eventually destroy everything he has while he gets everything he wants.  So we don't start with evil Ozai this time.

They get married. It's nice.  They like each other.  Look at that.  But Ursa soon realizes her new life isn't what she thought it would be.  As a B-tier princess, she is relegated to the “stand behind me and smile and make me look good” roles, the ceremonial role.  Also there are a fuck ton of rules she has to follow now.  Because anything she says or does can be used against her husband.  At least, she thinks, she's helping her husband do great work, but no, he's a B-tier prince, who isn't allowed to speak out at war meetings and whose ideas are constantly ignored by his father in favor of his brother.

Oh yeah.  Ozai is insanely jealous of his brother.  Iroh, the prodigy, Iroh the first born, Iroh the war hero.  Firelord Azulon either is criticizing Ozai, comparing him to his brother, or ignoring him completely.  Ozai responds to this by busting his ass off and trying harder to work for his father's approval.

However, Ozai soon realizes his wife has a political prowess he does not.  Ursa can get people to listen to her.  She can rally support among the members of the court, and then petition Azulon.  Ozai starts to ask her for help.  It works.  But to her disappointment, he doesn't let her take any credit for it.

Ozai and Ursa bust their tails.  Ozai builds his own confidence.  After one big thing that Ursa helped to create, Ozai finally gets a glimmer of praise from his father.  He clings to it like a rope.  He pushes harder.  As Ozai's confidence grows, a pattern starts emerging.  Ozai gets pushier and pushier for the things he wants from the politics. And some of it is actually kind of shady.  Ursa starts having second thoughts.  And that's the first time we see him turn dark toward her.

Around this time, they're children are born.  Ozai is not a good father.  Critical, skeptical, and uncomfortable around his own children.  But it also causes him to think differently about himself.  He has heirs now, and if for some reason Iroh didn't become fire lord.... Ursa reprimands him.

Eventually Ozai earns a place at the front of the table at the war meeting.  Ursa does not suspect he earned this legitamately.  She learns he backstabbed one of the generals, and had them arrested, so he could have that place.  Ursa finds out.  She confronts Ozai.  He begs her to think about all they have worked for, how they are going to use that power to clean up the fire nation and the court.  She tells him he IS the dirt at this point.  Ursa makes a fatal mistake of comparing Ozai to Iroh.  “Your brother may be only half as hard working and intelligent as you, but at least he's honest, and its a good thing he's the heir and you are not.”  And he actually strikes her.

At that point he tells her she isn't allowed to know the goings on in the court.  He decides he's gunna play the big man and lay down some law.  “If you're not with me you're against me.”  During this argument he terns and screams at Zuko for interrupting, letting fire escape from his fists.  He sends Zuko to his room and tells him to stay there until he is willing to act honorably.  (Foreshadow Zuko getting banished for interrupting a war meeting).

Ursa has no one to turn to for advice at this point.  She wants to talk to Iroh, but he's at war.  Ursa decides that it has gotten bad enough she wants out.  She packs her bags, packs the kids, and is preparing to leave, when Azulon stops her.  He tells her that the divorce would ruin Ozai's reputation, and that to take his heirs away from him would destroy all standing he had in the court.  When Ursa decides that she doesn't care.  Azulon threatens to have her arrested.  He banishes Ursa and restricts her to the royal quarters and places guards on the doors.

Ursa agrees to stay.  Ozai butters her up, lays the sugar on her.  We get to see him use charm and affection to guilt her as well as intimidation.  We also see that he is a man falling apart at the seems, trembling with ambition, getting a taste of power, and its changing him.  He enjoys it.  He especially is starting to enjoy it at home over his wife who has been essentially depowered by Azulon and the gaurds.

And then BAM! Lu Ten dies.

The family spends a day or two in dark, silent shock.  Zuko asks what happens, but Ozai responds negatively and aggressively.  “Don't trouble yourself with what doesn't concern you, boy.”  Ursa suspects something aweful is about to happen, because her husband is itching to have an audience with Azulon.  And seems rather excited.

Ozai asks for the throne.  Azulon punishes Ozai by demanding the death of Zuko.  We have been given previous examples before that Azulon is unhinged.  He once ordered a general to slit his own throat for a military failure.  (Or maybe a more family friendly version of the same thing)

This is when Ozai realizes he has crossed a line. Ursa scolds him for his ambition, which he attacks her for.  Ozai has overpowered every single member of the court at this point, but he still trembles at the knees at the sound of his own father's voice.  Ozai is actually really messed up about this.  Whether he cares for Zuko or he just doesn't want to lose his bloodline, he doesn't want to do it.  But he knows that if he doesn't Azulon with imprison him, and kill Zuko himself.  Ursa believes that Ozai can stand up to Azulon, but Ozai refuses.  He flatly refuses.

Ozai is actually going to do it.  He has a knife and he is outside Zuko's room, shaking with emotion.  Ursa stands in front of the door.  At this point they have a fight.  A real fire fight.  They are both fire benders after all.  It is epic and badass.  Ozai at that point begs Ursa for things to go back to how they used to be when they worked together.  Ursa refuses to back down.  She doesn't defeat Ozai.  But she does manage to pull the knife away from him, but not after suffering injury herself.

Ursa makes the decision that Azulon must die.  It is the only way.  She takes the knife into Azulon's room, and we see come out with it.

She tells Ozai what she did.  He doesn't forgive her.  He nearly kills her for it.  But she holds her ground.  “You're son is alive.  And the stars will be blinking long long after you make it out of here.  Or not.”

He tells her he has no choice but to send the guard after her.  But remember, in my version, they actually still have feelings for each other.  So they have some dialogue about how the fire nation has turned both of them into despicable people.  She tells him he was dispicable on his own, and he had choices all the way about the bad things he did, he tells her, “Uhm, well, you did too.”  They say goodbye.  It is actually a really sad scene.

Ursa considers taking the children with her, but makes the choice not to.  She is a fugitive and it is safer for them to stay there, even though she knows she can't trust her husband to treat them well.

Ozai is at a crossroads of destiny at this point.  He sees the consequences of his actions at this point.   At this point it is revealed that Ozai was the one who orchestrated Lu Ten's death.  Ozai, by asserting his own ambition, he has disrupted the balance of power and destroyed his family.  His wife, whom he actually had feelings for in my version, is gone.  He cannot bear to face the consequences of this.  So he blames Zuko.  After all, if Azulon hadn't called for Zuko's death, Ursa wouldn't have killed Azulon and had to leave, so this is all Zuko's fault.  He is smart enough to know this is not logical, but he is too emotional to care.  He would rather blame an eight year old kid than look inward.  We get an explanation that actually makes sense as to why Ozai targets Zuko over Azula.

However all this suffering and loss doesn't stop Ozai from enjoying the power he gains from the fall out.  He gets to be fire lord now.  He gets to rule his family with impunity—without his wife staying his hand.  He gets to be out from under his bastard father's thumb. He chooses, actively and deliberately and in a way that is made explicitly clear to the audience, to live a life with an examined conscience because it is less painful and it allows him to enjoy his new power.

He never stops missing Ursa though.  All trace of her is removed from the house.  He bans his children and servants from ever mentioning her.  He directs all that loss and rage for her loss onto Zuko.  But he still has a picture of her he keeps secretly.

Ursa in the mean times has to reinvent herself.  She doesn't do anything idiotic like give herself amnesia.  She has to live forever with the fact she actually killed a man.  She has to live with the fact her children are being corrupted by the horribleness that is Ozai and the Fire Nation court.  The fire nation tainted her, corrupted her. And she works from the sideline to make it right.  She spends her days working an underground railroad, helping political refugees escape the Fire Nation.  She knows the only hope she has of ever seeing her children again is for Ozai to be dethroned.  Eventually her work takes her somewhere isolated, to a refugee camp in the Earth Kingdom. She doesn't get the news that Ozai is dethroned when it happens, though she does hear rumors that the Avatar has returned.  This is why Zuko has to actively search for her and she doesn't come back right away when he becomes king.

Things that are gone from this retelling.  Ursa’s old theater boyfriend.  Ursa doesn’t need a man to make her happy.   She can get remarried if she wants, but I hated how the Old Search made that the focus of her story.  Fuck you Ikem.  Other things that are missing:  The poison.  No, Ursa can kill Azulon with Fire bending.  Because she’s a bad ass.

Of course.  This retelling only focuses on Ursa and what happened to her.  It has very little to do with Zuko, Azula, and how the comics poorly mishandle them.  A topic of a different post.

So that’s it, that’s my Search 2.0, at least for the parts dealing with Ursa and her backstory.  Please feel free to comment if you have anything you think I should add.

[collintcyv653-blog]

Kingsdown Mattress

"Congratulations, you're pregnant! Through all the delight and anticipation you're feeling, there may be some apprehension. What type of stroller and safety seat is best? Where to purchase a baby crib and how to embellish the baby's space? While purchasing and registering for these items can be exciting, it can also be tiring. You wish to do finest by your child however all the research you're doing attempting to choose out the finest product has your head spinning. On top of this, you may be on a budget (who isn't these days?), having a little shower, or not having a shower at all.

Do not fret! Here are 10 things you can do to get everything you require, save money, and feel great about offering your new bundle of happiness.

1) Craigslist is your friend. There are lots of things you require or desire for your baby that you'll only use for a couple of months. You can get these items at half cost or less on Craigslist. Examples are a Bumbo seat, vibrating baby bouncer, Exersaucer, Child Bjorn and so on. There is no need to buy these products new and by purchasing them used and passing them on, you're assisting to conserve energy and waste.

2) Wait till you understand your baby much better to run out and purchase something. You might feel like you require to have a space equipped loaded with everything for the first year, however you truly do not. My child enjoyed her vibrating bouncy chair and it put her to sleep like a charm, however the mild rocking swing did absolutely nothing for her. You do not need both and perhaps you got one at your shower (if you had one) so see if what you already have works. We didn't even think about a walker for her since she hated being restricted or strapped down

3) You don't require a wood baby crib and a Pack n Play. I utilized the Load n Bet my daughter and it worked splendidly. It included a bassinet she slept in for the very first 3 months, a raised pad, and an adjustment to floor level. I then purchased a personalized comfy bed mattress for the bottom (this was well past susceptible SIDS age) for about 40 bucks and put a natural cotton sheet over it. It also included a removable changing table that tidied up quickly and was excellent for midnight diaper changes. They come in stylish designs and have to do with $150. Compare that to buying a bassinet and different traditional baby crib.

4) Avoid the crib completely and co-sleep. This might not be for everyone, but if it works for you, purchasing a baby crib is not an issue. The pros and cons of co-sleeping warrant a different post, but there is a lot of totally free literature on the subject.

5) Look for out baby swaps. Some are totally free or charge a small charge and they can be a cash cow of carefully utilized clothes, books, and toys. Again, there is nothing incorrect with getting utilized stuff for your child! She or he won't know the difference and will be finished with them in a couple months anyway. I got one of my child's preferred toys at a swap and of course, this toy also has actually become old news.

6) Do all you can to make breastfeeding work. I do not say this to pressure you or make it appear easy, because the very first month is draining. Nevertheless, as soon as you and your infant have it, it's rewarding and FREE. You will conserve a ton on formula, not to discuss it's better for your baby and for you. You reduce weight much quicker when breastfeeding - extra incentive!

7) As soon as your baby begins consuming solids (around 6 months) make your own infant food. It's more affordable and MUCH healthier. Cook a great deal of one vegetable, for instance sweet potato or squash, puree it, put it in ice cube trays and freeze.

8) Do not go to the shopping mall while on maternity leave. That's just asking for trouble. Maybe it's hot/cold or you wish to leave the home. Go to the local complimentary public swimming pool, neighborhood center or coffee house. You know the establishments in your location. Also, wait as long as you can to buy brand-new clothing. You may keep diminishing, especially if you're breastfeeding!

9) Use the library instead of buying new books. This provides your child excellent range.

10) Don't purchase or feel the requirement to purchase a brand-new car. I see numerous new households sporting lorries they can't pay for since they feel it's ""safer"". If your current car runs well and is safe, you do not need something new and glitzy. Paint is dull or has a damage? Your infant will not understand the distinction and will value the lighter mood due to less financial stress.

The essential thing to remember is that the better you are, the better child is so don't sweat the little stuff and enjoy your time with your child as much as possible. You'll remember those valuable minutes far more than the designer diaper bag or top of the line stroller."

[maliciousunicorn]

hi i dont know why but i love being annoying so if you wanna see me expand on my tag rant from earlier and talk about fat characters please click under the cut. skinny or even average weight writers take a look, it aint personal but please,

[also im going to be using the word ‘fat’ quite liberally, a word i dont love but its easiest to apply. in this post its referring to all body types that are heavier (have more room for love ❤︎ ) than average]

holy fuck im gonna make this  a Big Deal because i just downed a whole mug of coffee in about two minutes so heres some things that need to be destroyed

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, rude demeanor, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the fat one

Big hulking powerhouse

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

y’all know i’ll add more if i think of it but lets just start because i have literally nothing better to do with my time

fat characters being the Doofy Sidekick to the Competent Hero

holy fuck....hoooooollyy fuck!! this whole??? thing!! where fat characters are the dumb sidekick needs to STOP!!! i mean, you’ll never see a main character thats not either skinny or buff anyway(usually, female and male, respectively) ((also steven universe is the exception to pretty much this entire post because they do multiple fat characters well, with diverse personalities and interests. crazy.)) and they usually just slap a sidekick on for a supporting role, comic relief and The Obligatory Weight Representation all in one for simplicity but. thats can stop any day now. constantly the Main goes off on some big quest to a magic world where the Sidekick can’t follow, and more than often they are, to use a particularly relevant phrase, ‘fat and happy’ and rarely question it. if they do, its a one-episode arc.

i mean i understand if theres only supposed to be one main character, but at least present it that way. dont kind of tease at a partnership if you arent going to develop the partner, fuckass. dont have fights and then make-ups where they bump fists and go “partners???(/equals/bros/team,etc)” “yeah, partners! :) (etc etc etc)”

its worth noting that this dynamic is mostly in male&male friendships because a girl who isnt pixie thin, heaven forbid, and a girl who has one best friend but not, also, a group of 2-4 other, less close but still “besties!!!” friends, ever comes to exist.

and then, in the same lines, we have

fat characters helping the main character by accident 99% of the time

where, whoops, and a ha-ha, the Fat Sidekick drops their Food Item!! and, haha, oh look, ew, haha GROSS !! theyre still gonna try to get it back!! but? whats this, by accidentally throwing/grabbing at the Food Item, they defeat the Villain of The Hour and save the day!!!!! ahhah what wacky hijinks!

yeah, im sure you’ve seen it, or minor variations of. and can i just say? fuck this trope with a red-hot iron poker. seriously. its disgusting. theres other ways the Fat Sidekick Accidentally Helps, but its mostly by knocking something over, or sleeping. so, moving on,

fat char is friends with skinny/avg char, and both are ‘uncool’ but the skinny one is the kind of ‘uncool’ that wears beanies and is actually fashionable/smart, while the fat one is our definition of uncool with ugly clothes, questionable social skills, and the whole relationship just looks like its the ‘cool’ uncool(skinny) taking pity on the 'uncool’ uncool (fat) one

i pretty much wrote all of this in the title. don’t do it.

Big hulking powerhouse

fat people can be nimble, fluid, and elegant. thank you. goodnight. *drops mic*

*runs back to pick up mic* on a side note, skinny people can be clumsy but stop the trope where the clumsiness is cute and only lands them in the arms of their crush. clumsiness knocks shit over. clumsiness can cause damage and hurt feelings resulting from honest mistakes *sets mic gently down on the floor this time*

fat characters being good at cooking/good with food*(more on this, there are exceptions)

obviously, cooking/food talent is an applicable trait that can come from their background. say a parent was a chef, or they grew up having to cook for themselves. if you give reason and background as to why they talented in this area (which, frankly, you should do with every quality), it can be fine! but when your Fat Character (i mean, if you;re writing the trope im discussing rn, im assuming you’re dull enough to only have one chubby/fat character) is just, good with food. when your fat character is just, a good cook. when your fat character is just, able to tell ingredients by smelling something, FOR NO REASON, then you need to back up and fucking stop.

we may eat more than average but that doesnt mean it comes from just, wanting to eat. for me personally i eat when im stressed, bored, or sad, which i am almost always one of. its different with everyone though. many lorge people wont mind if you message them asking for advice on why they eat the way they do. some will. please just be sensitive.

fat characters being one-dimensional comedic relief with like four minutes of feelings sprinkled across three episodes to make it seem like the writers actually cared

this is. probably the worst. i see it most in younger audience targeted shows, granted, but the fact remains that when some character needs to make a crude remark for the sake of the plot, 90% of the time or more its the fat one.

and to the second part of this trope, fat characters are overused so much for dumb jokes they get abused to the point of disuse, to which the show/book writers respond with a single episode/scene/whatever where they show Real Depth™️ (usually over the loss of a burrito or some fuckery, but its connected to dead relative or some shit so they can be emotional without losing that Important Quality Where Food Is King), which is the equivalent of the writers picking up a dropped piece of steak that the dog licked, rinsing it off in the sink, and putting it back on your plate with a smile and a “here, kiddo. ready to eat again.” but if you were paying even a smidgen on attention you can see all the hair and dust still on it. and it looks thoroughly unappetizing. as it should.

here are some fun tips!!!!!!!

---fat people can have interests in athletics. like. jesus christ. i know this might blow some of your minds, but fat people can enjoy sports. and, even crazier, you dont absolutely have to make a joke about their being out of shape every time they take a step

try this: FUCKING SUBTLETY. if your characters go to a high school, maybe the fat character(s) and their friends all walk together when they technically should be running laps, and you dont make it look like an act of pity. (I.e., instead of ‘oh, F.C., want me to slow down and walk with you? :)’ try ‘oh man, F.C., running sucks and i dont wanna. may i walk with you?’)

---fat people can obviously also have sedentary interests. sewing, drawing, math, board games, i can go on. they can have all the interests all people have in real life

---fat characters dont always have to be motherly, give big soft warm flab hugs (though those are nice) and be protective. fat characters can be upfront, a bit mean, but still a good person/liked.

---fat people can be wanted!!! a character can have a crush on a fat person and have it not just be a comedy joke thing!! crazy i know!!!!! fat people can be involved in real romance where the arc doesn’t center around how great the skinny one is for loving them *despite* their body!!!!!!!! i fucking hate when it implies a fat character is loved *despite* their body!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

---ideally, their eating habits can be subtlely portrayed as part of their character. maybe they have a little more for lunch, or take two dessert. maybe in the background of their room theres a few extra food wrappers than their friends. (note these are things i, personally would support). If you’re feeling nervous about it, its better to not write any ‘signs’ of it than overdo it, but 99% of the time the key is it existing, but no one comments on it in the story,

---seriously, stop making every kind interaction about FC’s weight from a skinny character an act of pity. i think this is one i react especially strongly too because of my personality, but its important overall.

here are some horrible Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed disgustingly overall, maybe there’s a scene or two exception, but mostly. these fuckin suck.

Howard (Randy Cunningham, 9th Grade Ninja) <this show is pretty garbage overall tho so

Toby (Trollhunters)<this show is actually worth a watch, if you can stomach his portrayal at certain times

here are some lovely Fat™️, in the generalization of the term, characters that I think are portrayed pretty darn well to end this post on a good note

Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)

Hunk (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Steven (Steven Universe)

<<yeah there’s not a lot to go on for either side because fat characters that are actually relevant to the story are a rare find indeed>>

TL; DR!!!! FAT PEOPLE CAN BE LITERALLY ANYTHING!!! THEIR BODY TYPE IN NO WAY RESTRICTS THEIR INTERESTS, TALENTS, OR CHARACTER TRAITS

[ecotone99]

[AA] Keep the Change Kid

WARNING: Contains swearing and sexual references.

Introduction: This is a chapter from a mostly finished novel I wrote 10 years ago. Time restrictions and especially a huge amount of editing yet to be done have prevented me from completing the project, though I do fully intend to finish it before my time on planet Earth is up, which may well be sooner than I would prefer. At any rate, the plot of the novel is as follows; after shooting Condoleeza Rice (remember her?) in the head with a sniper rifle, a lone and expert assassin is being hunted by the dark forces of one government or another. These hunters are led by an individual going by the cover-name of “Mom”. Mom is a British ex-secret service operative with SAS and a “diplomatic” background in South-east Asia, among other locales. He is a very tough and capable individual (picture someone like the actor, Charles Dance, perhaps best known for playing Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones). He employs a band of Russian/Chechen ex-military/FSB operatives, particular in their capacity for violence and ruthlessness. The assassin they are hunting is a young half Asian/half Caucasian woman of exceptional beauty and grace, as well as cold-blooded focus and precision in the trade she has assumed for herself. She goes by the cognomen of “The Angel of Death”. A tacky cliche of a name to be sure, but this was not intended to be permanent, but rather only a working handle for her as I developed the plot. She is being protected by a type of guardian angel named Aidan. Aidan is a wise-cracking smart-ass type, unique in that he was brought back from the dead by the “Heavenly Powers That Be” (whomsoever those might be), for the express purpose of protecting the life of our lovely assassin.

The novel’s plot is set in and around Vancouver, British Columbia during the unfortunate reign of George W. Bush, one of my favourite whipping boys at the time. This chapter (and the following one) deals with one of Mom’s operatives named Anton. Anton is a hapless Russian of limited intelligence and unlimited violence. On orders from Mom he is trailing a couple travelling north from Vancouver on the way to Pemberton BC in a pick-up truck during a lengthy and ferocious summer storm. Anton thinks this couple are the assassin and her guardian angel Mom and his crew have been tasked to take out. He will discover many things during this long, stormy night and the following day.

If any readers of this story indicate a desire to read the next chapter in this drama, please comment to that effect and I will post that under the title of “For Morons Like You” forthwith.

Hope you enjoy the read. Cheers, Popeye Le Pew.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

‘Come on ya prick… hurry-up fer chrissakes… I'm gettin soaked here, eh!?’, a woman’s raspy voice, punctuated by a burst of desperate, phlegmy coughing, calls out in the night.

‘Yeah, yeah. Keep yer friggin panties on will ya, I gotta piss’, a man’s booze-slurred voice barks back.

Anton, lost deep in a dream of perplexing dimension, is rudely awakened from an uneasy sleep by the loud drunken voices just outside his Pathfinder.

‘I ain't wearin no panties.’

‘Well then keep yer bra on.’

Disoriented and groggy, Anton looks around trying to blink the sleep out of his brain and trying hard to figure out where in the Hell he is.

‘I ain't wearin one of them neither. Let’s go Stud, its takin ya longer to piss than it did to blow yer load, eh?’

It comes to him after a moment or two and he curses the one that put him here: MOM! Fucking Mom!! Ублюдок!!! Anton is in fact in the parking lot of the Chieftain Pub in Squamish, BC. ‘If is not asshole of world, is sure smell like”, he’d scowled as he drove into town earlier that day. The paper mill just across Howe Sound bestowed “a certain something” to the Squamish air. Though he doesn’t realize it, he's been fast asleep for the past couple of hours… with the truck’s engine idling.

The wind is still howling like a troop of drunken banshees and the torrential rain that was falling when he’d arrived hasn’t let up, but rather seems to have increased in intensity. The voices are coming from the right and, leaning across the passenger seat, Anton wipes a narrow strip of condensation from the window. He can see a man and a woman by a pick-up with “Pemberton Spud Farms” on the driver-side door. “Is where cell-phone signals come from, for sure.” In the downpour, he can’t quite make out if they’re the same two people in the photos Mom gave him, but it is the truck he’s been looking for.

The man finally finishes relieving himself, opens the driver’s door and climbs into the pick-up. He rolls his window down and spits before leaning over to unlock the passenger door. The woman climbs in saying, ‘about friggin time, eh! Couldn’t ya have pissed before we come out?’

‘Couldn’t you shut the fuck up?’

‘Close yer goddamn window, I'm friggin cold.’

‘Ah quit yer bitching,’ he says, lighting a cigarette and tossing the match out the window.

‘I wanna stop at the Mickey D’s to get some grub.’

‘Fuck that, I ain't stopping till we put some miles behind us.’

‘Come on ya cheap prick, I’m hungry and it’s a long ride to Mount Currie, eh? Be nice to me and maybe I’ll blow ya on the way up.’

It was an offer he wasn’t about to refuse. It’s a long drive up to Mount Currie after all.

‘Yeah, yeah OK, we can stop at the slop-shop up on the highway.’

‘Alrightee then Stud, but yer buyin, eh?’

‘Sure. That’s me, last of the big-time spenders,’ he says as he fires-up the engine and drives to the parking-lot exit, spitting out the window again and planting a large gob on the hood of the Pathfinder as he drives by.

Anton waits for them to get ahead a bit and then pulls out after them, staying half a block behind the pick-up. Is not matter with the raining like this, they are not seeing nothing. They are the goddamns drunk anyways. Fucking shit, he thinks, wishing he were off somewhere, drunk himself with a hooker to take the edge off his blues instead of following these two through the driving rain in this god-forsaken stinking dump of a town. Anton does bad moods rather well.

Taking out his cell-phone he tries calling Mom again, but doesn’t make a connection. ‘Is the bullshits’, he snarls. The pick-up stops by the intersection at the highway and turns north. Anton comes up to the flashing traffic signal, waits for a couple of cars to go by and then follows. Up ahead, just past the main intersection, the pick-up slows, turns into a McDonald’s lot and lines-up in the drive-thru lane. He pulls the Pathfinder over to the side of the highway and waits. Is going to being the long goddamns night, he thinks, watching as the driver gets out, walks around to the back and rummages around in the pick-up’s box. He removes something and deposits it in a garbage container by the take-out window. ‘What’s in fuck he is doing now?’, he mutters. The man then takes a sports-bag from the box, looks the cargo over and gets back into the cab. Though Anton can’t get a good enough look to compare him to the man in the photos, he thinks, must be is guy. Mom is saying he is having the sports-bag with him and is tall.

The cloying odour of hot grease and fried food wafts in through the heater blower and Anton’s stomach starts to growl. Though he hates American fast-food, Anton realizes he’s famished. He hasn’t eaten since before he left Vancouver and thinks, I am gotting to eat somethings, anythings.

Waiting until another car drives in behind the pick-up, he shrugs his shoulders and pulls into the McDonald’s lot, lining-up in the drive-thru lane and calling his order into the mike on the menu board when his turn comes up. Sitting there, compulsively cracking his knuckles, he sees the pick-up’s order being handed out from the take-out window. It then pulls ahead to the road, stops to let some traffic by and turns onto the highway. Shit!! Is better I not am losing this prick in pick-ups, Anton thinks and puts the transmission in reverse to pull out of the drive-thru line himself. Checking the rear-view mirror he curses seeing that two more cars have come up behind his, boxing him in. He’s stuck there and fidgets nervously, waiting for the car in front of him to get its order and get out of the way. Ahead, a hand holds a large fast-food bag out of the take-out window and remains suspended in mid-air, waiting for the driver of the car to take it. But the man appears to be having some kind of a problem with the transaction. He’s dropped his money on the ground.

‘Come on fucking motherfucker, you are hurrying ups. I don't am having all the fucking nights to waiting for you’, he calls out his window.

A man’s head emerges from the car’s window, completely ignoring the bag plainly being held out to him, and turns to glare at Anton. It is a large, curiously deformed head, perhaps the product of foetal alcohol syndrome. The head sticking out of the car window bears an exceptionally ugly face, sporting an exceedingly belligerent expression. And it looks only too eager for trouble. Anton has seen a number of unfriendly faces in the course of his life, starting with the band of mujahedeen fighters who came to kill his father, uncle and older brother when he was seven years old. That face in the car in front of him is even uglier and less friendly-looking than that of the FSB drill-instructor who made Anton’s already miserable life a living Hell. One of the most satisfying moments he ever had was when he put a bullet between the bastard’s eyes. The eyes on this guy’s face are having considerable trouble focusing. He’s obviously very drunk.

‘Eh!? What the fuck’s goin on buddy? Ya got yerself some kind of problem back there or what?’

Anton sticks his head out the window and looks at the guy, thinking, oh shits, now what is!!?

‘Who, me? You are meaning me? I not am was speaking at you, I am calling the friend who is go to washrooms for the pissing.’

The face continues to glare at him, it’s mouth hanging open and it’s eyes each looking in a different direction. It’s not buying Anton’s contrite explanation.

‘Zat right, eh? Sure sounds like yer having a little problem with me.’

‘No, no. Is cool, is completes cool.’

‘I could maybe fix that problem for ya… howboudit pal… ya wanna go, or what?’

‘No, no, is not the necessary, is not the problems with you. Is with the friend I am was calling. At washrooms. Not you. He is pissing the long times.’

‘Yeah? Well yer startin ta piss me off, pal!’

‘Is all the big mistakes. I am not here for the pissing-offs to you, I am come for Bigs Mac and fry, like you.’

‘Ya sound like yer some kinda foreigner. Zat what ya are, some kinda goddamn foreigner?’

Anton reaches over and takes his M88 from the glove-box and screws the silencer onto the barrel. He considers firing several rounds into that ugly drunk face glaring him right away, but remembering why he's there in the first place, puts the pistol on the passenger seat and pulls his jacket over it. He pokes his head back out the window, smiling with as much meekness as he can muster. Not an easy feat for Anton.

‘No, no I not am the goddamns foreigner like you are say, I am tourist. I not am being here for having the problems with good guys like you. Nice to be meeting you and visit your great city.’

‘What the fuck…? Yer a tourist? Ya sure you ain't got yourself no problem with me? Cuz if ya come looking fer one… I’m the guy fer ya alright!’

Fuckings Hell, this prick is not wanting to gives up, Anton thinks.

‘No, no, is no problems, you can believing to me. Is everything cool. Only with friend at washrooms, he is taking really long times for the pissing. You are the friendly Canadian guys, I am not having the problems with you. Really.’

‘Oh Yeah? Ya sure bout that?’

‘Yeah, is no problems, for sures.’

‘I mean, if ya wanna go… ya wanna go or what?’

‘Look mister guy, there is being your Bigs Mac and fry, they are wait for you. You are enjoying delicious hamburgers and having the nice evenings.’ You are fucking-offs now or I am shoot you in goddamns face, you prick, he thinks as his hand reaches for the locked and loaded M88 next to him.

The face looks at him, still trying hard to focus with limited success and then, somewhere in the remnants of his tiny pickled brain, the penny drops and he abruptly turns toward the hand holding the bag out to him. His head collides with it and he exclaims, ‘what the fuck!? Oh yeah right, my burgers.’ He looks down at the bills he dropped a moment ago, opens his door and reaches down to pick them up, grabs the bag the hand is holding and hands the hand his money. He takes his change and drops it on the pavement and says, ‘aw fuck-it!’, and closes the door again.

‘Hey… awright then buddy. So yer a tourist eh?’, he says looking at Anton again with a crooked grin on his stupid face.

Anton smiles and nods his head enthusiastically as he takes out a pen and paper. He jots down the car’s license-plate number thinking, I am fixing you later you сосунок петуха, you just are waiting.

‘Sure, you are rights-on, I am the tourist to you fantastics country Canada and I am visit you beautiful city Squamish this nights.’

‘Zat right? Huh, well whaddya know, a tourist!? Hey, I don't got me no problems with no tourists.’

‘OK mister guy, this is good… I don’ts gots the problem with you too.’

‘Aw that's great, that's just great!’ He turns to his companion beside him and says, ‘Ain't that just great baby? Guy’s a goddamn tourist.’ He sticks his head out the window once more, blinking his eyes as he tries to focus on Anton. ‘Well you have yerself a real nice time in our town there buddy, we gotta get goin now… welcome to Squamish, eh?’

‘Fucking crazy whacks-job,’ Anton says as the car pulls out to the exit and drives up the highway in the same direction the pick-up went earlier. He considers ignoring his own order and leaving immediately in pursuit of the pick-up, figuring it must be quite a ways up the highway by now. Screwing it, he thinks, pick-ups is not can be that far and I must am eating something, even if is this shit of McDonald, and moves up to the take-out window.

‘That’ll be twelve dollars and sixty-three cents please,’ says a skinny teenager with bizarrely pointed ears, buck-teeth and coke-bottle glasses somewhat too large for his face. He looks like a rabbit who’s parents could well be closely related, too closely perhaps. And, possibly being that particular fine dining establishment’s number one best customer, has really, really bad acne.

Holy cows, is the fucking Canadian mutant, Anton thinks, recoiling. He shakes his head, reaches over to take the bag the kid is holding out and hands him a fifty.

‘Oh, a fifty,’ the rabbit-kid says, holding the bill up to his glasses and squinting. ‘Don't you have anything smaller?’

‘No, is all I am gots. Make it fast kid, give to me the changes, I am in the big hurry.’

‘Well I don't have change for a fifty sir, you'll have to wait for my manager to come and break that bill for me.’

‘Where this goddamns manager is?’

‘He’s just in the men’s room.’

‘What he is does in there? Is jerks-off?’

‘I’m not really sure but I think he’s taking a long du…’

‘Is OK kid, I don't are needing to knowing of detail.’

‘If you’d like to pull into one of those parking slots off to your left to wait, he’ll be out to change that as soon as he’s done, sir.’

‘No! I not am having times for waiting of fucking manager to wiping asses of he. You are keeping of changes kid, buying yourself new head,’ Anton says and pulls out to the highway. He peers squinting through the driving rain, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding a soggy, dripping burger on which he munches while trying to keep the Pathfinder steady in the howling wind. After several kilometres he finally sees the car that was in front of him at the drive-thru and what looks to be the pick-up’s tail-lights beyond it in the distance.

The weather has turned from really bad to atrocious. Anton finishes the now cold French fries and second triple burger and, feeling like he’s just been horribly violated, belches loudly. ‘Fucking Americanski garbage’, he scowls. Throwing the wrappers and bag out the window in disgust, he takes out his cell and tries calling Mom again but still can’t get a connection. He watches as the car from the drive-thru pulls out to pass the pick-up and smiles. Flipping his cell-phone open again, he dials 9-1-1 thinking, you wait Canadian cocksucker prick, is shits hitting the fans for you soon, and is connected after half a dozen rings.

‘This is emergency services, what area are you calling from?’

‘Yeah, I am driving on 99 Highway to the Whistlers.’

‘Exactly where on Highway 99 are you sir?’

‘Sure, you are right. I am exactly on 99 Highway.’

‘What part of Highway 99 are you travelling on at the present time?’

‘I am not knowing what is part, but is… you know, on way to the Whistlers, just north at Squamish.’

‘Do you have an emergency to report? What is the nature of your call please.’

‘Yeah sure is emergency, is why I am call you. What you are think, I am being lonely?’

‘Could you please tell me what is your emergency sir?’

‘There is the car just now, is passing really fast, is swerves like the crazy guys, almost crashing to me. I am seeing this car is passing of pick-ups ahead and almost is crashing to pick-ups too. Car is nearly drives in ditches.’

‘I see. And what would you like us to do?’

‘What kinds of question this is!!? I am thinking you are better to sending somebody for stopping this crazy guys before he is kill somebody.’

‘Were you able to get the license-plate number of the car sir?’

‘Yeah sure, I am getting. I am writing this down, just the minute, I am telling you number… OK, here goes… is VNG 642. You are getting this?’

‘VNG 642. Did you happen to take note of the make and model of the car as well sir?’

‘Is looking like the Chevy Blazer, old shit-box, lots rust. Brown maybes, yeah, colour is for sure brown.’

‘An older model Chevy Blazer, brown in colour with lots of rust, is that correct sir?

‘Yeah, that’s it, is what I am say to you. The old shit-box Chevy Blazer. Is the goddamns rusty buckets.’

‘And the vehicle is northbound on Highway 99, north of Squamish at the present time? Is that correct?’

‘Uh-huh, this is right. The 99 Highway, past of Squamish. Is driving north.’

‘What type of vehicle are you in sir? Are you the driver of this vehicle or are you a passenger?’

‘No, I am driver for sure. I am being all alones, is not no passengers here. And is the Pathfinder I am driving. Nissan.’

‘Is this your own vehicle sir?’

‘Vehicle of me? No, I am renting.’

‘A rented Nissan Pathfinder. Which year would that be sir? And what is the colour?’

‘Why are you ask me questions like this about car I am driving? Is the fucking pricks in goddamns shit-box Chevy Blazer who are drunks you must are worry for, not car of me.’

‘I require the information about your vehicle for my report sir. And I would appreciate your not using foul language when speaking to me.’

‘OK, I am being sorry for to say fucking at you and pricks and goddamns too, is no personal, I just am being nervous with this kind of dangerous drivers. I am scare he is killing me. Sorry lady.’

‘I understand sir. Can you tell me the year of the vehicle you're driving?’

‘What year is!? Is 2002! You don't are knowing this? Month is September in cases you don't are knowing this too.’

‘The vehicle sir, I am inquiring as to the age of the vehicle you're driving, not what the current year is. What is the year of that vehicle please?’

‘I don't am knowing. I am not asking guy at renting place what is year. Is not making the difference for me as long as is running. But colour is black.’

‘I see. Do you know the license-plate number of the vehicle?’

‘No, I don't am knowing. What this is, the fucking quiz-show? Oh sorry, I am forgets, you don't are liking the fucking. But OK, I can stopping car to having looking at plate numbers if you are wanting this.’

‘That won’t be necessary sir.’

‘Good, because is raining like the dog and cat. I am not wanting to gets wet like the duck.’

‘I understand. I’ll need to get your name sir.’

‘Name? Why for you are needing name of me?’

‘For our records sir, we require your name for our records.’

‘You are telling my names to the drunks guys in Chevy shit-box Blazer!!? I am rather you not are telling this. I not am want to having troubles with this drunks guys.’

‘No sir, you won’t be having any problems from that driver. Any information you give us will be kept strictly confidential.’

‘What this is meaning, strictly confidential?’

‘It means we do not give out the information that you provide us with.’

‘OK, if you are being sure.’

‘Yes sir, I'm sure. What is your name please?’

‘My name? You still are wanting to knowing name of me?’

‘Yes sir, what is your name please?’

‘Is Josef.’

‘Is that your surname or your given name sir?’

‘Giving name? I am just giving you name of me? Is Josef. You not are understanding my English?’

‘I can understand you perfectly sir. I just need to get your name.’

‘Josef, I am telling to you already.’

‘I will need to get your surname as well sir.’

‘What this is meaning, how you are saying? Sir-name?’

‘Surname refers to your second name, given name refers to your first name.’

‘I am already giving to you first names. But I am having four names. What you are calling other names?’

‘I need you to tell me your name, sir.’

‘Which names you are wanting first?’

‘Your first name sir.’

‘I am telling to you already, Josef. Is first names.’

‘I will need your surname as well sir.’

‘What name? Sir-name?’

‘Your family name.’

‘You are not wanting other names first? They are coming before the family name.’

‘Just your first name and your family name is all I require. What is your family name please sir.’

‘Stalin. Like Great Hero of Soviet Union who is squashing Hitler like the cockroach.’

‘Have you been drinking this evening Mr Stalin?’

‘Yeah sure. I am drinking delicious super-size Coca-colas with eating triple lousy cheeseburgers of McDonald and shitty fry. Is diet Coca-colas. Why you are caring what I am drinking?’

‘I meant have you been drinking any alcohol this evening Mr. Stalin.’

‘No, of courses I am not drinking no alcohols. I do not drinking the alcohols. Besides, is against law for drinking the alcohols and driving of cars. You are not knowing this!!?’

‘Yes Mr. Stalin, I am familiar with the law.’

‘Well I am sure hoping you are being familiar about drinking the alcohols and driving cars law. Is very big problem in my country. So, you are wants to knowing something elses?’

‘What is your address sir?’

‘I am visitor to your country. I am living at Moscow. You know in Russia? Used to be Soviet Union, but now we are calling Russia agains. Same places but name is different. You are wanting address in Moscow, Russia?’

‘Do you have an address here in Canada Mr. Stalin? A hotel or friends you're staying with perhaps?’

‘No, I am just flying at Vancouver today. I am not yet having time for to checking in hotels.’

‘What is your address in Moscow then sir?’

‘You are not telling address to drunks guys in car? I am not wanting to having no troubles. I am telling you this before. You have listen to me when I say this to you?’

‘Yes, I am listening to you Mr. Stalin. I promise you, you won’t have any trouble. Your address will remain in our confidential files. There's no need for you to be concerned. I only need it for my report.’

‘Is happens all times in Moscow. Guy I know is get shoot last year because he is giving address to police. In fucking head. Oh sorry, I am keep forget you don't are like fucking. Sorry lady.’

‘Yes well, we do things a little differently here in Canada Mr. Stalin. You don't need to worry about that happening.’

‘OK, you are sounding like the nice lady, I will trusting you. But oh boys, I am hope is not nobody waiting to shoot in head of me when I am comes home.’

‘If that should happen Mr. Stalin, you may rest assured it is not in any way connected with this call or the information you provide.’

‘Yeah sure. OK, I am giving to you address now. You are having the pens to write this down?’

‘Yes sir, I have a pen. You may go ahead and give me your address.’

‘Is Kremlin Apartments, number 622, 1942 Red Square Moscow. You are getting this?’

‘Kremlin Apartments number 622, 1942 Red Square Moscow, Russia, is that correct sir?’

‘Yeah sure, that’s is it.’

‘Is there a postal-code for that address?’

‘Of courses is being the postal-codes, but I am not remembering. I just am movings in.’

‘Well thank you very much for calling this in Mr. Stalin. We really appreciate it.’

‘You welcome. Is nice country this Canada you are having here. Maybe I am buying couple house in the Whistlers for girlfriend of me. Listen lady, I am hoping you are not minding for me to saying this, but you sure spending lots time asking the question to me. You don't think you should be getting off from phone now and catching drunks guys in shit-box Chevy?’

‘Yes sir. Enjoy your visit to Canada. You drive safely now. Good night Mr. Stalin.’

‘Yeah so longing lady.’

Several minutes later, two police cruisers come tearing up the highway behind him with their lights flashing and sirens blaring. Anton chortles with glee and pulls-over to let them pass and then resumes on down the dark highway. They should is taking cares of drunks prick from drive-thru of McDonald. It is not long before he comes up to the Chevy Blazer and cruisers by the side of the road. Slowing as he passes, he sees a couple of constables struggling to put a large hand-cuffed man into the back of one of the cruisers. ‘Is what you are gets for piss-off to Anton, you stupid fuck,’ he says laughing as he drives by.

Trying Mom again, he still cannot get a connection. Well, at least drunks prick from drive-thru back at Squamish has getting whats is comes to him. Is too bads I am not having the chances to shoot this prick in face of him, he thinks, I can trying Mom later, after fucking storm is finish. Is must havings to stops sometimes. Maybe is being the phonebooths on this bullshits highway to nowheres and I can call to Mom from there. Anton emits a sigh of dejected resignation and settles down to what he figures will surely be a long and uneventful drive down a dark deserted highway. (Just you wait Anton my lad, just you wait - ed)

submitted by /u/PopeyeLePew [link] [comments] via Blogger http://bit.ly/2Ypq0aF

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON NIGHTMARE’S VOCAL, DANCE NAM YURA...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: N/A CURRENT AGE: 25 DEBUT AGE: 23 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 22 COMPANY: Koala T. SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): N/A INSPIRATION: None other but the old man himself for raising her with an impeccable work ethic, even if he hates the line of work his only daughter is involved in. It’s managed to get her this far, and if that isn’t something, she doesn’t know what is.   SPECIAL TALENTS:

Can shove her whole fist into her mouth.

Take perfectly angled selfies with her feet.

Demonstrate various taekwondo moves.

NOTABLE FACTS:

Her father is a high ranking officer of the ROK Air Force. 

Particularly skilled in sports as a child: Yura received her first rank black belt at the age of 15; outside of her martial arts focus, she dabbled in track and field as well as basketball.

Graduated from the Korea National Sport University with a Physical Education degree in 2015.

Knows a couple of the well-touted members of the performance demo group, K-Tigers. 

Has her motorcycle license.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Increased exposure of Nightmare as a whole through their sub-units. They’re not her cup of tea, but at this point, it’s no brainer that KTM is sharpshooting in hopes that something, anything, will stick and hit bullseye. Once it does, there’ll be relief in going back to the original game plan because that’s what Yura has become comfortable with. She’s been going with the flow since debut, and has no plans of going against the current for now.

Quit sittin’ pretty, because the rest of her members are beginning to make moves into other areas, while she has nothing more but Nightmare activities on her repertoire. Insecure? Hardly, when it only guarantees more free time, but the job description says girl idol, not girl idle, and she signed up for this to do something different, and not nothing at all. Can girl group members moonlight as stuntswomen? She’s beginning to consider it more by the day lately.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

To ride out Nightmare’s name until she has nothing more but her own to rely on, then fade out into the blissful obscurity that is life away from the stage. Being an idol has never been her first, center, or last resort, not when she’d accepted the offer only as a chance to weasel her way out from a restricted, rigid sort of life for however long she can. The idea of eventually being billed as an “action star” down the road started off as a joke-to-self, but with her athletic abilities and with her idol lookalike now cushy in the Chungmuro film industry, maybe it can amount to something a little more serious than that. Safe to say though Yura hasn’t decided just yet, and if all else fails, there’s no problem in working up to finally receiving her 9th rank in taekwondo and / or marrying the model air force officer Daddy Dearest will pick out for her.  

IDOL IMAGE

Knifelike. That’s a good word. The proper word. Down to the teeth of something animal, the line of her jaw, to how her gaze can cut through crowds. Precision, glint, and edge all wrapped into two syllables. Being raised by a military man did her well in that respect, discipline with the square shoulders and a straight spine. Smoke and mirrors are nonexistent in the face of the cold, cold metal. She prefers to leave that up to the other members anyway, as the oldest, and the most unconcerned.

This translates on-stage to: a piercing gaze, sharp moves, a woman unsettled rather than some soft, wicked thing. Power and aggression in each pulse that is impossible to look away from. At the same time, it’s intimidation in spades that can create a sharp divide between themselves and the ones they want to draw in. Which is why show performances and variety appearances are two vastly different rodeos. It’s during the latter, free from dark makeup and costumes, when the comments resurface ( “From that idol group-” “You look just like her, she’s beautiful-” ), which, eerie sense of impostor syndrome aside, she takes without question. For the questions that are raised her way however, Yura keeps things pointed and to the point. Nothing more, nothing less, not because she’s shy, but she knows action always speaks louder than words. So where they cease to exist, she goes above and beyond in being a doer, be it through physical stunts or her avid participation in activities ( no matter how ridiculous ) without complaint.

Off-stage, there isn’t a lot of deviation. She talks little, works more, cruises the most. Doesn’t actively seek people, but takes initiative in leaving some bite of an impression, then doesn’t do much to keep them around. Desperation, hunger, for any of these things the others strive for ( fame, attention, money, love ) feel terribly insignificant; more distractions than direct pathways to a solid destination. Coming from a girl who’s only here for a good time, and not a long one, she’s fairly content with simply seeing this to the very end.

Some noted characters quirks include: Being inactive on social media ( to the point where even their manager has to remind her to post things come promotion time ), never seen to slouch or soften up, and seemingly having an odd aversion to skirts.

IDOL HISTORY

I.

There’s little to life but family. Correction: family is all there is to it. Appa, oppa and baby girl in their well-to-do house in a well-to-do neighborhood in Haeundae-gu, contained and without contempt in the countless ways they mean the world to each other. Ironic, what with a wide ocean view from their windows and a patriarch who’d made a living solely off of flight, but one’s scope is always small from the start. Lullabies, plucked strings, film reels, none of these are woven into Yura’s childhood. Square and center in all early memories sits a round table made of dark elm. As plates were passed along, so were lessons. Shoulders level. Hands crossed over the lap. Chin at that angle. That’s my girl.

II.

A fine line exists between control and discipline. At first, she only learns this because she has to, but soon embraces it in body, mind and spirit. For over a decade, athletics is the forefront of her focus—not dream, mind you—and with the way she pushed forward, the chances of it becoming a formidable future were high. Pressure mounted, never all at once, but just enough for her to feel it with each passing year. Apparently love and passion is supposed to be part of the picture, but all Yura ever feels at the end of each match is the hard pounding in her ears and the wet sheen of sweat at her brow as gold is pressed into her hands. Devotion is practically sewn into every nerve and muscle, but it’s all it ever is. Skin-deep. Physical.

With age, the word “beauty” remains skin-deep as well. Puberty and good genes does wonders, but the pool of pretty people is only so wide. Overlap is expected in hindsight, then, but she doesn’t expect it to include her. The first time someone tells her, Yura admits she doesn’t think the same. The second, that she’s heard that before. It only multiplies and expands from there, with a dash of sweet talk and awe, to the point where it’s deemed fact for her. And of course, there’s the staring. Little does she know that this is  only prep-work for what it’s going to be like all the time.

III.

Inertia stays for as long as one allows it to. Physics allows that much. A uniform, routinely life is fine for the first ten, fifteen, and even twenty years, but somewhere the monotony of it all brings out the first swell of exhaustion. Family, school, sports, then family again; with each rotation, the impulse is harder to fight. Indifference to losses by the first year. A switch to the Phys Ed. department by her second. Trysts found a dime a dozen by her third, through people, places. Positions. An early existential crisis, or a belated attempt at teenage rebellion? Neither actually, not even close. She just wants to move differently, feel what it’s like because it’s all starting to get a little old and she craves a change of pace. It’s that simple.

Luckily for her, the first opportunity wasn’t anything less questionable but a recruiting offer from Koala.T, who’d seen her face on the street in her post-graduated state and conjured the same thought that countless others have made. Of course, making an impulsive decision is always the easy part. Explaining it later that night would be the uphill battle none of the Nams would have seen coming.

IV.

No, she’s not the best. The important thing here is that she’s not entirely the worst, either—for someone who doesn’t have a single artistically inclined bone in her body, that’s not too shabby. Having physical strength, agility, and reflexes has its positives; channeling those assets into dancing, then continuing to improve with time has her getting favorable marks during trainee evaluations eventually. Singing ( to this day ) remains passably decent—so long her voice stays well within its lower range.

It helps that she’s not here to win, not when she’s led a whole twenty-something years dedicated to the idea. It also helps there’s no sweat in being watched, criticized with every blink of an eye. She’s been there too. Despite it all being intense and laborious like trainee life is touted to be, it’s the newness of it Yura marvels at. Everything else is only a matter of adjustment.

V.

When the concept is first introduced, it’s perhaps the most emotion anyone has seen on her face because it’s so damn pretentious. Sopretentious Yura couldn’t help the small snicker that had escaped her lips at the time, incredulous. That this won’t sell is practically written all over, plain as day; then again, she’s not really here to sell anything, really, remember? Instead, she merely bites her tongue and simply goes along with it, because the code of conduct is to be grateful for even a sliver of the spotlight at all, irregardless of one’s intentions. She didn’t expect to come to this point, and not certainly this soon. So let’s take what we can get and make something out of it, shall we?

[13thsongbird]

I tell myself I won’t apologize every single time I post on this blog after a long hiatus, but I grew up a Catholic in Ohio – we apologize for everything! So to anyone who might sometimes read this, I apologize for my incredibly long absence. One of my resolutions for the new year is to post more regularly here, so hopefully there’ll be more content showing up more regularly.

(I know this is my second post of the new year – Happy 2019! – but I started writing it first, so I figured I’d leave this all in.)

So! The thing that convinced me I needed to write again – it wasn’t a particular pattern, or make (although I would like to do a post on my family’s Christmas presents soon), but rather a life choice I made in early December. Almost my entire life, and certainly my entire adult life, one of my identifiers has been my hair. I’ve heard myself summed up as the tall girl with the super long hair more times than I can count, and after 27-plus years it had become a major part of my identity. This year, though, I started feeling disenchanted with my hair. It just… sat there. I hardly ever knew quite what to do with it, and so it spent a lot of time in ponytails and messy buns, the latter especially on days when I couldn’t get its texture quite right. I always hovered somewhere between straight and wavy, with annoying levels of frizz for the constant lack of volume. I love the color of my hair, but the days on which I loved my hair itself were growing less and less frequent. Time for a change. The problem was, the few times I’ve gone short, I’ve been less than impressed, and none of the shorter hairstyles I was finding were giving me any sort of thrill – there was no feeling of, wow. I bet I would rock that. Then one day, I can’t for the life of me remember why, I started looking up Instagram hashtags like #baldgirl and #buzzcutgirl and fell down a rabbit-hole of one thrill after another. These women looked badass. They looked large and in charge and incredibly free. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and slicked my hair back into the smallest, tightest bun I could and studied the shape of my head. Could I? Did I dare?

I figured it was best to talk it out. I asked a small circle of friends, including one who was a genius with hair and could give me a professional opinion, and was overwhelmed with the positive response: apparently, everyone else thought I could rock a buzz cut too. (I didn’t want to go full bald – like I said, I like the color of my hair, and I didn’t like the idea of going all the way to the scalp. Not for me.) While I initially toddled off to a salon, thinking it would be better to let a professional make the first chop, I was appalled by the price of a haircut in New York – even in Astoria, I’d be looking at between $65 and $85 to have someone whack off all my hair and then cut it all the same distance from my scalp, and it was even more expensive the closer I got to Manhattan. In hindsight, and after talking to my sister who also sports a short and semi-androgynous haircut, I could have gone looking for a unisex barber shop and probably gotten a much better deal, but instead I returned home and looked up every video and tutorial I could on buzzing your own head. It looked simple enough. I just wanted everything one length.

And so, I took a “before” picture. I knocked on my roommate’s door and asked to borrow his clippers. I sectioned off my hair into four pigtails, pulled out the scissors, and tried not to hyperventilate as I snipped through each pigtail between the hair tie and my scalp. And then – I ran my hands through my hair. It was so easy to ruffle it around, in its strange, short, ragged strands, and I easily spent ten minutes just fussing it around in the mirror and laughing at myself. It wasn’t an anticlimactic moment exactly, but I think somehow I’d expected to be overcome by such a huge shift, and instead it made me feel both physically and mentally lighter. A much longer time later than I expected (buzzing hair for the first time takes a hot minute), I’d used the clippers to trim everything as evenly as I could to 3/8″ from my scalp. I then spent the next half hour alternating between running my hands back and forth over the short bristly texture of my head and running to my roommates’ rooms to make them do the same.

Before…

…and after!

I don’t know if I’m just incredibly lucky in my friends and family, or if I really was just meant to have a buzz cut, but the response to my new look has been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve had a lot of people tell me how much they admire and respect me for making such a bold choice, and nearly as many sigh and say they wished they had the balls to do something similar. I’ve been told I have a well-shaped head (phew!) and that I carry it off very well. As for my own response, I absolutely adore it. I’ve had a few wistful moments when I see a very cool hairstyle and remember that I can’t try it on myself anymore, and I had a distressingly discontented streak when I was home over Christmas when I worried I was having second thoughts until I realized I just needed to start trimming everything down to my 3/8″ sweet spot on a weekly basis, but on the whole I’ve been super happy with my shorn head. It feels so nice! And it makes me look like Furiosa!

The steepest learning curve aside from my new haircare duties (daily washing is pretty much unavoidable if I want to look kempt, and weekly trims are a must) has been figuring out how the new proportions of my head affect how I look in my clothing and jewelry, which in turn is influencing my sewing plans for the new year. Strangely, removing two feet of hair that used to frame your face, neck, and shoulders changes your look. Who knew?? One thing I’ve discovered is that I’m not crazy about how traditional shirt collars look – I don’t know if it’s because adding bulk around my neck makes me look pin-headed, or if the full collar just feels needlessly fussy next to the sleek minimalism of my hair, but I’m leaning more toward a mandarin collar finish on button-up shirts and the like. For a long time, I was obsessed with making myself more button-up shirts, and constantly guilting myself for not having made up the Grainline Archer even though I’ve had the paper pattern printed and put together for nearly a year. I was also wild to make the Deer&Doe Bruyere shirt, and as many Alder shirtdresses as my closet would hold. Now, though, I’m trying to decide – if I make them now, will I even wear them?

On the flip side, I’m loving the proportions of a bulky scarf or cowl/turtleneck, maybe because they frame my neck and shoulders better? A bulky green infinity scarf a friend gave me has been getting a lot of play in my wardrobe this winter, so I’m looking at adding some oversized cowl necklines to my winter makes where possible – my Make Nine 2019 includes a Colette Moneta with just such an added cowl neckline. Or maybe I’ll just make a bunch of scarves so I can mix and match! I’m still analyzing and working things out re:collars, but those two discoveries have been huge so far.

I also much prefer a less girly silhouette, since I personally find the buzz cut both more grown-up and more androgynous than my long locks, and I’m looking towards tailored, clean details and more… mature colors? Mature isn’t the right word, but where before I could count on two feet of dark brown hair to tone down a Rainbow Brite-esque color scheme, now I have to temper bright colors within the outfit itself. I’m looking to add more strong neutrals to my wardrobe, especially in darker tones since it’s winter now, and I’ve already started playing with the way I put together the color palette of an outfit. I’d like to move towards having my beloved jewel tones as strong accents, rather than the entirety of an outfit – or, if they are the entirety, then maybe just focus on one, rather than cramming in as many as I can stand.

One of the strange but awesome perks has been discovering that my long-time aversion to pullover sweaters is gone, since the thing I hated was having to finagle them over my hair without destroying it with static. I discovered this when I tried on the Finlayson sweater I made my little sister for Christmas and realized I loved both how it looked and how it felt, and I immediately started scheming over which fabrics in my stash would make a good lightweight sweater. New York City in the winter absolutely demands layers, as I rush from warm apartment, to frigid streets, to drafty subway stops, to overheated subway cars, and back out into the cold, and being able to take a pullover on and off easily is a game-changer. Bring on the pullovers!

Obviously, these revelations are unique to my experience – not everyone thinks the same things look good, which is one of the things I love best about fashion! I’m definitely still getting used to the new look, but overall I’m really happy, and I’m excited to keep exploring the options I have in front of me. Going into a brand new year, I feel optimistic that I can shed past negativities and restrictions I put on myself just as easily as I chopped off all my hair, and move towards new projects and dreams without letting anything hold me back. Am I putting too much faith in a haircut I love? Maybe – but I learned a long time ago not to underestimate how the way I look can change the way I live my life.

The Chop: When, Why, How, and How It’s Influencing My Sewing I tell myself I won't apologize every single time I post on this blog after a long hiatus, but I grew up a Catholic in Ohio - we apologize for everything!

[atakportal]

How to get the best price

New Post has been published on https://idealz.cloud/2018/07/13/how-to-get-the-best-price/

How to get the best price

Pinning down the exact right time to buy a flight is a complex science, or maybe it’s more like an art form: An elegant combination of planning ahead, sensing the trends, and knowing the ideal time, day, and alignment of the planets to hit “buy.” Or is it more like gambling? 

The truth is that the right time to get those tickets varies greatly depending on a number of factors. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some tips, tricks and general know-how that won’t make it easier. 

1. Search in “private mode.” 

As with most flight-buying strategies, there is some controversy as to whether using incognito mode to search for flights is actually an effective money-saving tactic. But if there’s a chance there’s validity to it, why not give it a shot, right? The theory is that online travel agencies and booking sites (like Expedia, Hotwire, or Kayak) use cookies to track your search history, and therefore might jack up the price on tickets they know you’re planning to buy. Research on the subject has been largely inconclusive, but a large part of buying plane tickets is knowing you’ve done everything possible to keep costs down. If it makes you feel more comfortable, do it! One thing is for sure: It can’t hurt. 

2. Consider the off-season

The bad news about travel, particularly for Americans, is that we all try to go places at the same time. Peak travel times include summer and winter breaks, and around major holidays, because those are generally the dates when we’re able to snag some coveted time off. The other major fare-driving factor is seasons, meaning we tend to avoid places with severe weather conditions, like Southeast Asia during monsoon season and Canada in the winter. 

Avoiding those high-priced times can result in big savings on everything from plane tickets to accommodations, including both hotels and Airbnbs. Traveling in the off-season also means there will be fewer people to contend with, so major sites will be less clogged with selfie-sticks and knee-sock wearing dads. (No offense to selfie sticks or dads, of course.) 

That said, there’s a reason people tend to travel when they do. If you’ve got kids, your travel times will likely be more restricted to school breaks. If you hate the extreme cold or heat, you might not be happy traipsing around Moscow in February or New Orleans in July. Also be aware that depending on where you’re going, some attractions might be closed or inaccessible for several months out of the year. Do your research, and figure out what you’re willing to put up with. Your diligence will be rewarded. 

3. Let’s talk about award travel

Booking a flight with credit card points or air miles is an entirely different matter than using cold, hard cash. 

In most cases, you’ll want to grab your fares the moment they become available, before everyone else starts sniffing around them. One number often bandied around is “331,” which is the number of days ahead of time several major airlines (like American, Delta, and Alaska Airlines) release their booking calendars. But every carrier creates its own calendar, and furthermore, while some allow you to view the calendar for paid fares, it doesn’t necessary apply to award travel. (If you’re looking for a rewards card, I think Chase Sapphire Reserve is by far the best travel card.)

Another wrench in the process is that award availability fluctuates constantly, rising and falling as airlines add and remove space. Is that cruel? Yes, but if there was one easy answer about when to book flights, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. One excellent hack is to use , which will alert you when flights or upgrade awards become available on a number of flights and dates. Sure, it’s a pain, but it’s better than checking availability each and every day. And you want to get the most bang for those points, don’t you?

Keep in mind also that some airlines charge an additional fee of around $75 if you book your trip using points within 21 days of traveling. On the flip side, if you’re booking several months in advance, be sure to check the airline’s cancellation and rebooking fee, in case something comes up. 

4. Can you just tell me when to buy my plane ticket, please?

Okay, so you’re buying a ticket the old-fashioned way: With money. While we must remind you, once again, that there are no hard and fast rules about when to buy, the folks over at CheapAir.com did put some real effort into coming up with an answer that doesn’t require divine omniscience. 

The site looked at a total of a million international fares and arrived at some helpful conclusions. First, it identifies a “prime booking window” for different regions around the world, which offers the range of dates where you’re likely to see the lowest fares. (That said, it’s a generalization, so keep things like major festivals, sports events, and holidays in mind when considering your dates.) Based on their research, here’s the breakdown for flights originating from the U.S:

Canada

For flights to Canada, try to book your ticket three weeks to five months ahead of your departure. That’s obviously a pretty serious range, so the site advises that the best time to buy is an average of 66 days from your travel date. The cheapest month to visit is October; the most expensive is July. The least expensive days of the week to fly are Tuesday and Wednesday, as is the case with most on this list. 

Mexico/Central America

Book your tickets to these parts between two weeks and six months before your departure, though the average best time is 70 days out. The cheapest month to head south is September, and the most expensive is, unsurprisingly, December, since who doesn’t love a beach Christmas? Once again, the cheapest days to fly are Tuesday and Wednesday. 

Caribbean

This one is a surprise: The cheapest flights to the Caribbean should be booked an average of 207 days before you leave — that’s almost seven months! That said, the prime window is also huge, with little deviation one month to eleven months beforehand. Fares will still jump in the last month, so try to plan at least a bit ahead. Good news for those angling for a winter escape: The cheapest time to travel is January. (The most expensive is December.) 

Europe

So you want to head across the pond? The best time to buy is, on average, 160 days before departure. Another nice perk of Europe is that in addition to Tuesday and Wednesday, Monday is also one of the best days to travel. July is the most expensive month; March is the cheapest, with an average savings of $371 per ticket. Finally, the full prime window is between 1.5 and eight months ahead of time. Not bad! 

The upshot

There are a lot of factors that go into when you buy a flight, and one of them should be your own peace of mind. If you’re someone who just wants to get the thing over with — even if it will cost you a few extra bucks — keep an eye on prices for a few days and just go for it. If you’re a more obsessive type who considers fare tracking to be a competitive sport, start watching around five to six months ahead of international travel. 

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[usatrendingsports]

Spurned by Shohei Ohtani and Giancarlo Stanton, Giants can rebuild in a giant method

Suffice it to say, this week has not been sort to the San Francisco Giants. First got here information that the Giants misplaced out to the Angels for Shohei Ohtani regardless of being one among seven finalists for the Japanese two-way star. Then got here this assertion from the workforce concerning its pursuit of Marlins slugger and reigning NL MVP Giancarlo Stanton: 

Our settlement with the Marlins to amass Giancarlo Stanton topic to his waiving of the no-trade clause is not going to transfer ahead and it’s our understanding that the Marlins and Stanton are exploring different choices. 

In order that’s two vital losses for a workforce that badly wanted some needle-moving additions this offseason. 

Let’s keep in mind that the Giants are coming off a 98-loss season and a last-place end. To compound grim issues, they completed totally 40 video games behind the hated Dodgers. Sure, the Giants can financial institution on some enchancment in 2018, thanks partially to considerably stronger underlying fundamentals and the belief of a wholesome season from Madison Bumgarner.

Nonetheless, heading into the meat of the offseason, the SportsLine (@SportsLine on Twitter) Projection Mannequin tabs the Giants for simply 75 victories, which might have put them 12 video games out of the second NL wild-card spot this season. Including the likes of Stanton and Ohtani clearly would’ve improved that baseline by fairly a bit, however that is now not a risk for the Giants. Now they seem to be a dangerous workforce with a foul farm system — i.e., not a lot to commerce — surveying a shallow and flawed free-agent class. 

As an illustration … 

#Brewers’ Santana is one various for #SFGiants if they can’t purchase Stanton. A free agent equivalent to Jay Bruce could be one other. Many choices in play.

— Ken Rosenthal (@Ken_Rosenthal) December 8, 2017

That is Domingo Santana, and I am simply undecided the Giants have the younger expertise wanted to amass him from the Brewers, who’ve their very own designs on competition. Jay Bruce could be an enormous downside defensively within the spacious AT&T outfield, and the identical goes for J.D. Martinez. Once more, nobody plausibly obtainable to a workforce just like the Giants improves them practically as a lot as Stanton and Ohtani would’ve. 

All of this bodes in poor health for the Giants, insofar as 2018 is anxious. Nevertheless, in the event that they select to tear it down and rebuild, then they may see such straits as a possibility. This may be very out of step for the Giants, who for a few years have angled to contend each season. Finally, although, each workforce should face the teardown, and maybe it is the Giants’ flip. In the event that they did determine to go such a route, think about what they may do … 

Commerce Madison Bumgarner

You already know he is a playoff legend, and over the previous three seasons he has improved his regular-season efficiency by a big margin. For the reason that begin of the 2015 season, MadBum has pitched to a 2.93 ERA/136 ERA+ and 5.19 Ok/BB ratio. That is ace-level stuff. As properly, he is signed to a contract that is team-friendly within the excessive: He’s beneath workforce management for the following two seasons at a complete price of simply $24 million (incentives may push the value of these two membership choices a bit larger). 

He is nonetheless simply 28, and it a was non-pitching damage that laid him up for a big chunk of 2017. For sure, a controllable, reasonably priced ace like Bumgarner would internet the prospect-starved Giants an enormous return. Bumgarner does have a partial no-trade clause of as much as eight groups, however that is simply labored round. 

Commerce Buster Posey

Posey is coming off yet one more extremely productive season on the plate, and he additionally caught greater than 800 innings in 2017. Given Posey’s helpful bat and his elite defensive abilities behind the plate, he nonetheless stands as some of the helpful all-around performers within the recreation. The listing of aspiring contenders he may assistance is essentially an extended one. He is going into his age-31 season, and sooner or later decline will take maintain. For now, although, Posey nonetheless profiles as a serious near-term asset. 

The nine-year deal Posey signed in early 2013 features a full no-trade clause, and as we have seen with Stanton that is a serious consideration. Nevertheless, Posey’s deal features a $22 million possibility with a $Three million buyout for 2022. If the workforce working to amass Posey ensures that possibility — thus including nearly $20 million to the worth of his contract — then Posey could be inclined to go chase a fourth World Collection ring on another person’s watch. 

Commerce Brandon Crawford

Why cease there? Crawford’s struggles on the plate in 2017 are famous. Nevertheless, he was nonetheless stable on the plate general by shortstop requirements, and he was principally in step with expectations save for a foul June. Crawford additionally stays a real difference-maker with the glove. He is additionally obtained a full no-trade clause, and the Bay Space native might desire to train it. Nevertheless, transferring Crawford is much less important to this hypothetical rebuilding course of than is dealing Bumgarner and Posey. 

Commerce Brandon Belt

Belt has a considerably on-again, off-again relationship with the entrance workplace, so this one in all probability would not be a tough promote at HQ. He is productive and locked up by means of 2021 with a restricted no-trade clause. He’d make sense for doubtless contenders in want of assist at first base. The Mariners and Purple Sox come instantly to thoughts, as do, probably, the Indians.

Commerce Jeff Samardzija

Groups as of late are past eyeballing ERA of their assessments, and so they take a look at Samardzija they will see a man who paced the the NL in innings final season and made huge strides on the command-and-control entrance. In different phrases, they will see a sturdy mid-rotation piece who pitched a lot better than his four.42 ERA would lead you to imagine. The Giants may kick in some money and enhance their prospect haul in a Samardzija deal. 

Gradual-play it with Mark Melancon and Johnny Cueto

Melancon struggled in his first season with San Fran, and forearm and elbow points have been largely responsible. He underwent surgical procedure to handle these points in September, and he is eyeing a return to well being and type in 2018. The Giants could be clever to let him show he is as much as doing simply that. The commerce prices for closers are usually inflated main as much as the non-waiver commerce deadline, and meaning the Giants may money in if Melancon bounces again. Cling onto him for now. 

The identical goes for Cueto, who in 2017 endured his first subpar season since he was a 23-year-old with the Reds. Even a modest rebound within the first half of 2018 may make Cueto a helpful commerce piece heading as much as July 31. 

There’s an apparent case towards all this. Perhaps the Giants decide that, even with out Stanton and Ohtani, an energetic winter may put them inside vary of playoff competition. There is a case to be made to that finish, not less than should you squint on the proper instances.

On one other degree, possibly they decide that, even when competition is a longshot, that buying and selling beloved franchise icons like Bumgarner and Posey could be too damaging to the franchise’s picture. That is a really defensible place and one of the best post-Stanton/Ohtani argument towards an entire rebuild. 

All that stated, the Giants have earlier than them the chance to develop into this offseason’s reply to the White Sox — i.e., develop into the workforce who turns one of many very worst farm techniques into one of many best possible, nearly solely by way of trades of veterans. It is doable, and it is an method that is in all probability in one of the best long-term pursuits of the franchise. That is a tough set off to drag, although, contemplating how a lot a few of these guys imply to the Giants’ historical past and the Giants’ followers.   

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