#looking at my old school reports. i really couldve been something. im a husk of myself

[eggthew]

mum bought a bag full of old shit, mostly documents, to give to me last time she visited and I started going through them. there was a few old notebooks, for the most part empty, just some shitty highschool sketches

but one of them had sticky notes on the cover, with information about cdw studios. the fucking. studio that I did my work experience at during year 10. my highschool was this shitty small rural town school that didnt give a shit about arts, and didnt give a shit about its students, but baby me pushed and shoved and begged to get work experience at an art studio OVER EIGHT HOURS AWAY because it was literally all I wanted, I fantasised about it and planned travel there and stayed a week there away from my parents in a city I'd been to maybe once before, when I've lived in tiny country towns all my life

idk. I pushed so hard for it and it was everything I wanted and I wanted to study there after I finished school. I knew what I wanted and I wanted it bad and I had such high fucking hopes for myself. I have fucking nothing to show for it how did I end up here what happened