#look...some days....it's just Tuvok and that's all there is

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvoktober Day 18: It's Tuvok [Patreon | Commissions]

[janeway-or-the-highway]

My entry for the @25daysofvoyager ! A little part 1 of a J/C fanfic. Fluff. Action/Adventure. Angst. Aliens mistaking JC as married again. Enjoy!

“Chakotay, please!”

Kathryn dodged another blow and stumbled backward.

“Chakotay! This isn’t you!” She shouted at him, still struggling to put any distance between them on her sprained ankle, before it finally gave out.

He strode toward her, but paused when he saw a large branch on the ground. He reached down and grabbed it, then seemed to test it in his hands.

“And how do you know this ‘isn’t me’?” Chakotay said, his voice deep, and dangerous.

“I know you!”

“No. You don’t,” he said, closing the distance between them and swinging the branch down on her.

THREE DAYS EARLIER

Captain’s Log:

“It is our second day in orbit around the planet Caldar. The Caldari are a very pleasant people and trade negotiations have gone well so far. The Caldari have graciously opened their planet to the crew for shore leave. Tuvok didn’t find anything to suggest bad intent and didn’t have any objections, which I guess is as close to a compliment as you can get from a Vulcan. It is nice to be reminded that the Delta Quadrant has just as many friendly species as dangerous ones. Everyone is in desperate need of some R&R. Myself included, as Chakotay is always reminding me. Being stuck in negotiations, Chakotay and I have only seen the government centers of Caldar, but I look forward to getting to explore this rich planet more. Chakotay mentioned hearing that the twin sunset over the cliffs of Rohem was worth exploring, and I am hoping to take him up on that. Tom and Harry keep coming back with stories to keep us entertained in the meantime. A personal highlight was Tom’s retelling of Harry’s failed attempt to ride, what Tom described as a horse-sized mix between a pig and a hippo. The Doctor says that Harry needs to be off-duty for 24 hours. I had to elbow Chakotay to keep him from bursting out laughing at the Doctor’s report; Harry’s already embarrassed enough as it is. However, that doesn’t mean that we won’t be enjoying those holo-photos later.

On the business side of things, Caldar continues to impress. The planet might as well be one giant ball of dilithium. You should have seen how fast B’Elanna made it to the bridge when the planet showed up on sensors. Their entire economy is built on the sale and trade of this material that we so often find ourselves scrounging for. At first, I worried about what they were going to ask for in exchange, but what the Caldari are most interested in are the various cultures of the Alpha Quadrant. Their people collect different cultures and integrate them into their own society. I recognize some bits and pieces of cultures from throughout the Delta Quadrant, while some things are completely new. However, the custom that is of the utmost importance is their one unique tradition. The Caldari take partnership very seriously. Their society includes partnerships of all kinds; males with males, females with females, and male with female, etc. Regardless of the type of partnership, once a pair has chosen each other, they become part of one another. This “sacred partnership” is at the heart of their civilization and they champion it above all else. However, from what I understand, they do not believe in the concept of soulmates, rather that they are all on a path that will one day lead them to their missing piece. It is a society built on the idea of the peaceful pursuit of love. It is quite beautiful.

Anyway, I am hoping to exchange our cultural database we will get enough dilithium to keep B’Elanna happy for quite some time.

Despite everything that this planet has given us, I find myself still apprehensive. The Delta Quadrant is rarely this kind and I…”

The chime to the ready room interrupted Kathryn’s log.

“Computer, end log” she said while pushing the console to the side,

“Come in.”

Chakotay walked in.

“Good morning, Commander,” a soft smile spread across her face.

“Good morning, Captain. I have the crew rotations for the next month.”

“Thank you. Have I missed any more of Tom’s stories since I’ve been off the bridge?”

“No, but you did miss Neelix’s rousing report promising ‘new and improved’ recipes for leola root” Chakotay chuckled as Kathryn’s face turned into a grimace.

“Hopefully they are better than his last ‘masterpieces.’ I’m still low on replicator rations from last time.”

“Me too. Mostly from you convincing me to get you more coffee,” Chakotay said with a knowing look.

Kathryn smirked, “Captain’s prerogative. Plus, you have to admit that his latest attempt at ‘better than coffee’ coffee was unbearable.”

Chakotay chuckled. “Well, if Caldari food is anything like their hospitality, I think that we will be alright.”

“Yes,” Kathryn stood and made her way over to the viewport. She clasped her hands behind her back, “The Caldari have been extremely welcoming to us.”

“But you’re worried,” Chakotay joined her at the viewport, “worried that they are too good to be true”

Kathryn gave him a sideways smile,

“Have you been reading my log?”

“No, I just know how you think”

“I feel like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. We’ve been in trade negotiations for over a day and all they’ve asked for is Picasso and Kadis-Kot! My gut is telling me there is something more,” she sighed.

Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder, “We have one of our last trade meetings today. Whatever comes our way we have always been able to make it through. Today will be no different.”

Their eyes met and Chakotay couldn’t help but get caught in those pools of blue. Their relationship, after so much hardship, was finally starting to settle down again. Their weekly dinners were the highlight of his week and recently Kathryn was starting to let him in a little more. Not beyond anything that couldn’t be brushed off as close friendship, but still.

Chakotay knew that he had fallen for Kathryn a long time ago, from the moment they locked eyes on the bridge, but it was the shared moments like these where he recognized the depth of his feelings for her. He would wait for her. The angry warrior would stay by her side, for as long as it took.

Spirits, I’m lost.

“Thank you, Chakotay,” she said softly.

“Of course, Kathryn.”

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway.”

He dropped his hand from her shoulder.

Tuvok and his timing.

“Go ahead.”

“Captain, the Caldari ambassadors have arrived to begin negotiations. They are waiting for you and the Commander in the briefing room.”

“Thank you, Tuvok. We are on our way”

Chakotay moved towards the door, but Kathryn continued to stand looking out the viewport. Chakotay’s voice interrupted her worried thoughts,

“Are you coming, Captain?”

“Yes, I am right behind you”

Chakotay flashed her a smile and exited. Kathryn shook her head and followed after him.

Oh, I am so lost.

“Captain, I am glad that Voyager found its way to our corner of the galaxy. I think both of our people will benefit from these negotiations.” The Caldari ambassador, Turin, sat at the end of the briefing room table. The color of his skin reminded Kathryn of lilacs. The soft texture of his light purple skin was accompanied by small streaks of green that accentuated his humanoid cheekbones and jaw. His cheekbones stuck out on his face but seemed like they wrapped around his head towards the back of his skull, giving his face a sleek appearance.

“Thank you, Ambassador. I agree. I hope you find Alpha Quadrant culture as interesting as we do”

“Yes, there is much to explore. You have an extensive database on so many species! It will keep our scholars busy until the next Dual Eclipse!” The green streaks of his skin gave a soft glow with his excitement.

“I hope so, and if I may, I would recommend Dante. He is a philosopher from Earth’s history, and a personal favorite of mine.”

“Thank you for the recommendation. Now, Captain, I have a few formalities before we begin. Requirements from the High Council. You understand?” Turin said.

“Of course”

Turin reached into the satchel that sat on the floor next to him and brought out a beautifully bound book filled with greenish pages. When Turin opened the book, Kathryn realized that the pages’ green hue was similar in color to the streaks on the Caldari’s faces. She wondered if this was due to choice, or something in the planet’s biology that affected both of them. She suppressed the urge to ask as he began to speak.

“Captain, as you are aware, our society values partnership over everything else. You assured us that your culture assumes a similar view to the importance of partnership, which is what allowed us to begin this fruitful relationship between our two peoples in the first place. However, we are concerned, and frankly somewhat… off put, that you have yet to introduce us to your partner.”

Kathryn paused and tried to absorb what Turin was saying, “I’m sorry, Ambassador. I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Turin’s mouth twitched, “We do not interact, or much less conduct trade, with peoples whose leader is unpartnered. It is an unspeakable offense. Furthermore, if we were to be led into an arrangement under false circumstances regarding one’s partnership status, we would consider that an act of aggression against our planet.”

Kathryn’s typically quick-witted diplomatic mind felt like it stalled out. A partner? She was the Captain! A relationship out here could never be a partnership. Not when every available person was someone under her command. “Ambassador, you have to understand, as Captain, I don’t -“

“You don’t what?” The threat was clear. Turin’s jovial attitude was long gone and his streaks shifted to a deeper green as his mood shifted.

“I-“ Kathryn started, but Chakotay’s hand coming to rest on hers stopped her. She resisted the urge to yank her hand out from under his as she locked eyes with him. As it often was with him, she needed no words to understand what he was saying:

Trust me.

And she did.

“Ambassador Turin,” Chakotay started, “I am the Captain’s life partner.” He moved his hand on hers to interlock their fingers. Kathryn let him, since all of her energy was being spent actively trying not to have the panic she was feeling on the inside show on her face. “You have to understand,” Chakotay continued, “the Captain is not used to sharing the status of our relationship since our job’s put us in a tricky position, considering that it could be taken advantage of by our enemies. If our feelings and commitment to one another were to become common knowledge, any number of species could use that to their advantage. And, sir, as you said, our culture values our partnerships, and you’re right. If anything were to happen to Kathryn, I would stop at nothing to get her back, including putting others at risk.”

Turin visibly calmed down, but seemed wary. “But why keep this information from us. We have shown nothing but hospitality to you!”

“We apologize and don’t mean to offend, but it is just something that we’ve gotten used to protecting.”

Turin seemed to accept this and clapped his hands together. “Oh, great happiness! We are glad to keep you as friends. Now, we must discuss the Three Trials.”

“The Three Trials?” Kathryn found her voice again, but still struggled to stay focused with her hand intertwined with Chakotay’s.

“The Three Trials are three tasks meant to prove your love and commitment to one another.”

Kathryn shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“This serves a dual purpose: one, to confirm your partnership, and, two, to determine if you are tjaasaktic. Will you comply?”

The universal translator faked to pick up the last word, but all Kathryn could think of was their desperate need for the Caldari’s friendship and trade. “When do we start?”

Should I do a part 2?

[thresholdbb]

Can we talk about The Dying Swan moment in Coda? As someone who was once a very serious ballerina, I need to talk about the Dying Swan. Here's your context --

CHAKOTAY: Harry's clarinet solo was okay. I could have done without Tuvok's reading of Vulcan poetry. But the highlight of the evening was definitely Kathryn Janeway portraying the Dying Swan. JANEWAY: I learned that dance when I was six years old. I assure you, it was the hit of the Beginning Ballet class.

Have you seen The Dying Swan? It is dramatic.

Here, take a minute:

First of all, this dance is much too advanced for a six-year-old, even if they’re doing it in demi pointe. (Six-year-olds emphatically should not be in pointe shoes btw.) The dance is almost entirely bourees and arm movements done to very subtle musical cues, not the foundational ballet moves typically taught in Beginning Ballet.

This is a very vulnerable, dramatic dance that is effective because of its subtleties. The performer would need to embody that vulnerability in some way for a convincing performance. It's short, but it's a solo piece -- all eyes on you. I mean, it was choreographed for a prima ballerina, BUT THAT'S NOT MY POINT

Can you imagine our unflappable Captain Janeway willingly getting in front of her crew to do this ballet? I get that it’s thematically relevant to the plot of Coda, but since Janeway is only vulnerable in front of her crew when it means putting herself in harm’s way, it seems like a wild decision. She tends to hold herself apart from her crew, maintaining the professional distance of the captain. Further, when she does any creative pursuit, it is almost always in private, since her sister was the artist in the family and she was the scientist. As a captain, she commands Voyager in a much different way than she would as a dancer with this piece. I'm not saying she never shows vulnerability because she definitely does, but not necessarily in this way. Then when she talks about it with Chakotay, she just casually brushes it off with a laugh like no big deal.

There’s also the question of costume – would she have gone full tutu? Done it in her Starfleet uniform? An impeccable yet flow-y white suit? She does get into costume and command a performance in Bride of Chaotica!, but Coda is still kind of early days for our captain. Arachnia aligns more with what we know about Janeway's character.

Granted, it is Chakotay laying down these complements about her dancing ability and he is clearly biased. To be fair, Neelix does too before they leave in the shuttle. If she did this dance and performed it poorly or amazingly, I feel like the crew would look at her a bit differently afterwards.

Canonically she did The Dying Swan, but I certainly have trouble picturing it happening.

[worflesbian]

it was a couple days ago now that i watched it but ultimately my thoughts on endgame were that it was a good episode but not a good finale. did i have fun watching it? absolutely! do i feel like it was a good conclusion to seven seasons of television? not really.

partially bc we'd already seen a version of the story play out before in timeless, it didn't have the weight of a finale to me, and the way they opened the episode by showing us voyager's homecoming celebrations (retroactively in the future timeline that got erased) really undermined the impact those scenes could've had if they'd happened for real, and the impact of the episode overall. it reminded me of how we saw tom and b'elanna's wedding, only for it to be revealed this was an alternate version of them, and then when the real tom and b'elanna got married it happened entirely offscreen. voyager ends up treating these really impactful moments as if theyre something to skip past rather than linger over, which results in this pervasive underwhelming feeling.

i don't think they could have shown much in the way of what happens once they're back in the alpha quadrant because that would demand a whole episode if not season of its own, but a few shots of a vague group of civilians gathered in a space port with some recognisable faces thrown in and idk one of voyager sweeping in and everyone cheering and crying and a zoom out on the crowd rushing to greet the crew at the airlock would've been fine!! just to give us some emotional closure!! normally i complain about gratuitous montages in a finale (do not TALK to me about stp) but a montage of the voyager crew reuniting with family members would've been perfect in the finale -- they've waited seven years for this and we don't even get to see it happen?? literally just show me harry kim running to hug his parents or tuvok's family assembled with only a tiny hint of emotion on their faces or something like that. and janeway looking on and smiling at them. anything at all. please.

[leohtttbriar]

beyond the creativity of the whole starship being accidentally pulled into some sort of space-rut with space whales, all because evidently the starship and the giant space squids move about with like warp technology or something (always hard to figure out what star trek characters mean by "signatures"), beyond the way they first try to participate in the rut like an elk digging his antlers in the dirt to make himself seem bigger and then attacking some other elk-guy, beyond the way they're only participating in this sexual behavior as a collective organism in a ship that the first episode has already explained is in some way composed of biomatter is because they don't want to kill any of their weird alien suitors, beyond the way tuvok gets to say "guess we're not cute anymore" all while the other plot of the episode is kes being just so goddamn gross and secreting all sorts of nonsense all because the horny space-creatures and also because she wants to have a kid with neelix of all things, beyond the fact that the thesis statement to this episode is just attenborough aggressively explaining how weird sex is, beyond all that: the fact that chakotay says this straight-faced and sincere while looking up at janeway is wild.

chakotay frequently gets to be the character to acknowledge the particularity of the perspective of whatever creature the crew happens to be dealing with that episode. giving narrative utility to the character's sensitivity. in this very weird episode, they block it so when he offers the right solution to the plot, he's standing below janeway who mostly just seems to be frowning in confusion the whole of the episode and being somewhat useless but for listening to her crew. which seems significant.

and like two episodes later they have a plot be resolved through the logic of surrender. a strange mini-plot in the overarching one of trying to get back home: the power of yielding, of submitting, in a way that only undercuts dignity if one isn't choosing it. and chakotay speaks of biological behavior on a ship he never intended to be on, in a part of the galaxy he has no connection to, in a uniform he'd set aside very deliberately before being tossed thousands of light years away, second-in-command to someone who seems constantly caught between fighting and giving up, depending on who/what she's facing on any given plot-day.

like the participation in whale-alien sexual rituals is funny. but whoa.

[insanewaykathy]

CHAKOTAY: It's not every day we go looking for the Borg. What's up? JANEWAY: Seven needs a new cortical node. TUVOK: Captain, need I remind you the Borg often return to salvage damaged cubes. JANEWAY: It's a risk I'm willing to take. CHAKOTAY: I want to help Seven as much as anyone, but if we're not careful we'll all end up with cortical nodes.

If there are moments that support the NON-RELATIONSHIP between C7, these are the ones. I really don't know how people can ship the two of them. It would be the same as shipping Tuvok and B'Elana, in other words, it makes no sense at all.

Chakotay never showed affection for Seven, nor she for him. And some people might simply say that he changed his opinion about her, and in fact, over time he began to respect her and even consider her part of the crew. But there was never the slightest sign of affection. I'm rewatching Voyger and paying more attention to the details, I'm already in the second episode of the seventh season and I noticed that there was no flirtatious interaction between them. He's nice to her, but that's it. At this point they could have developed a greater interest if it was meant to be, and I think this statement of his proves that there is not even the slightest bit of affection. Would he say this if the person in question was B'Elana or Tom, or Harry? I don't think so. Unlike Janeway, he was concerned about the ship and not her, he would never risk the ship or his own life for her. So in ENDGAME they create a sudden passion for her, which they obviously got out of their asses (probably from Beltran and Braga's asses because of that ridiculous bet). And just like that, you destroy two excellent characters, and traumatize thousands of fans. HOLY SHIT!

Not to mention that I never imagined Chakotay agreeing to participate in a relationship research of an ex-Borg! Who was he after all? A lunatic? A needy person?

I will never forgive the writers, Braga and Beltran for this nonsense!

And did they really want to shove down our throats that Seven and Chakotay got married and that he died of heartbreak because she died? Please!

[hortaheart]

Been puzzling over Tuvok and Chakotay's dynamic, why they still have such a frosty, poor relationship five years into the journey, and what a flashback into their Maquis days would look like, and I've come to my own personal interpretation.

I believe that Chakotay sees Tuvok as having a deeply flawed moral character, and Tuvok sees Chakotay as the epitome of the foolishness of emotion.

For background, this started when I saw @bumblingbabooshka 's tags the other day on this post, about how Tuvok has no ability to purposefully endear himself to others. This really struck me as a true and concise statement that reflected what I had been thinking about Tuvok during my rewatch. I've also been thinking that Tuvok is very different from the other main Vulcans in the various series, because while he is a Vulcan in Starfleet, he is very much not a Starfleet Vulcan.

What I mean by that, what I think of as a "Starfleet Vulcan", is a Vulcan who, no matter how much they may be appalled or frustrated or confused by human and other species emotionalism, they also have a specific enjoyment of their antics and an appreciation for their alternate way of being.

Tuvok is not like that. He respects and appreciates Janeway utterly, as well as a few others in less intense capacities, (Kes comes to mind), but he never shows a single hint that he finds emotions anything but frivolous, irritating, and Incorrect.

I was thinking about his positive relationships and why they are different, and I've come to the conclusion that it is because Janeway, despite a light teasing every once in a great while, generally takes him as deadly seriously as he wants to be taken. Kes, also, takes him and everything he says deeply seriously. Seven, too, takes just about everyone and everything seriously, which is why they have such a good dynamic. Part of why those three are so partial to him, in return, is that all three of them have a prominent desire to be taken seriously, which Tuvok can always be relied upon to do. (His dynamic with B'Elanna is more complicated and I won't get into my interpretation of that in this post.)

This also explains why he has such a dislike of Paris, and partly Chakotay, and never seems to let Harry that close. (Despite having some nice moments with him, due to Harry's earnestness and open meticulous care for his job, in my opinion.)

It's not just the way that he wants to be in the universe, it is also the way he wants the universe to be around him. The totality of this trait makes for a pretty unique character, in my opinion. It's also what makes him so suited for Voyager over the other Treks, the series that most consistently puts it's characters in horrific action situations that require a serious military tactician.

Now, how did he get close to Chakotay during his time spying on the Maquis? How did he learn the name of every single crewman on board, when surely there is nothing so foolish for criminals to have as a crew manifest on board, and he is not an adept conversationalist to put it mildly?

Here's what I think: Tuvok has absolutely no ability to purposefully endear himself to others, when he is being himself. For the majority of the series, there is no situation that convinces him to act as anything but himself. (This causes many problems.) Despite having little ability to improvise, I think he made a good spy simply by accurately aping Maquis moral stances and language. With prior research and attention to detail, I think this is well within his capabilities.

Most importantly, I think he would hardly need to do much else. By virtue of being Vulcan, a species most people tend to trust and take at their word. If he convinced them that he believes that fighting with the Maquis is the logical thing to do, they would trust him. It reflects what they already believe, and he is Vulcan, so why not?

I think it is very interesting that in Resolutions, Chakotay describes himself as someone who, before Voyager, was always fighting with the people around him, even those within his group. Now, Tuvok doesn't take offensive emotional outbursts personally, as he sees them as utterly illogical, (as in, he'll probably think less of you, but he won't stoop to reacting pettily, very pointedly) and he especially wouldn't if it would interfere with his mission.

Due to their lack of formal training to work in groups, their constant dealings with treachery and oppression, their dire personal circumstances, the necessity of a band of rebels to be full of people who readily stand up for their beliefs, and the culture of the Maquis, the Maquis crew are generally shown to be quite argumentative and disagreeable. Tuvok would be a stark stand-out as someone always patient with their antagonism, trustworthy, and not to mention an exceedingly capable officer that you can rely on in a fight. I believe this is the crux of him getting close to Chakotay, and the rest of the crew.

Then, he betrays them, and is revealed to have never shared their convictions.

Chakotay understands Tuvok was just doing his duty as a Starfleet officer, he might even stop holding the betrayal against him at some point, but the abrupt, horrible transition of thinking of him as someone who shared the same morals, who cares about the same people Chakotay cares about, into knowing he does not, well. I don't think Chakotay's opinion of Tuvok ever recovers from this. Tuvok makes no effort to help it recover! Whatsoever! At any point! I believe his military mindset is at direct odds with Chakotay's high valuation of life, an interesting opposite of the dynamic between Spock and the human crewmen in The Galileo 7.

Of course, despite being quick to fire phasers, Tuvok does value life, but he is not in anyway a diplomat, even within his own crew. I believe the constant irritations this causes on the ship, (thankfully less and less as the series goes on and they accept him), are constant irritating reminders to Chakotay that Tuvok is not the person he used to think he was, and wanted him to be. Tuvok never does anything to soften this impression using what he learned, because Tuvok is incapable of being anyone but himself unless under orders to do so. He is constantly, harshly different. I think it drives Chakotay crazy.

MEANWHILE! Tuvok worked much more efficiently with his Maquis crewmates before the betrayal. When they liked him, they listened to him more. Despite the wisdom of his logic and his orders being the same if not greater now. There were even turbulent discoursive times when they worked better with him, ever patient, correct, and steadfast, than they did with Chakotay, who was apparently not as much those things as he is now. For them to come to Starfleet, to Janeway's command, his domain, and suddenly work better with the teasing, unserious, emotional, Chakotay, over him! Well. Despite the facts of the betrayal, and his powerful emotional suppression, I believe this would grate. Perhaps cognitively rather than emotionally, but grating all the same.

This is how Tuvok's subconscious conception of the crew's emotional irrationality, (the WORST thing in the UNIVERSE, with NO UPSIDES), gets utterly tied up with his subconscious impression of Chakotay. Whenever the crew or Chakotay fail to be utterly serious and logical actors, it adds to the irritation. Whenever Chakotay succeeds with wrangling the crew where Tuvok fails, it adds to the irritation. This of course happens constantly. Tuvok is too adept at following the teachings of Surak to hate.

But he fuckin' hates that guy.

And the feeling is mutual!

[pilots-and-protons]

Had a crazy idea the other day, when I was thinking about how Tom Paris is one of the only main crewmembers who didn't have some kind of Borg stuff happen to him (other than the Doctor, of course).

Obviously Seven is already borg, but Chakotay briefly experienced the mini-collective in "Unity", Neelix and Harry were both cured by Borg nanoprobes (plus Harry had started to be assimilated by the Borg children), and of course Janeway, Tuvok, and B'Elanna were briefly assimilated too.

But because I'm me, I started pondering about "Threshold" and the fascinating potential of Tom being everywhere in the universe simultaneously, but how it all "slipped away" when he tried to remember - to process it after the fact. Because surely, a human brain simply can't comprehend something of that magnitude.

But what if it all was still there - just inaccessible, in a way. I imagine it would be like trying to run a game on a computer that isn't powerful enough - the basic game can download (barely), but if you actually tried to play it, nothing would properly load or function. What if everything Tom experienced at Warp 10 was in there somewhere, but just too vast and incomprehensible for him to access?

And then what if a Borg drone tried to assimilate him?

I like to imagine a scenario where Tom gets caught on an away mission during some Borg fiasco - but when those tubules go into his neck, when the drone links into Tom's mind to bring him into the collective, that Borg gets the surprise of a lifetime. Suddenly it's not one human brain unable to access this vast expanse of experience and memories - it's millions of species, working like one giant super-processor, and suddenly that "inaccessible" part of Tom's mind comes flooding out.

It would be like sending a feedback-loop through a machine to short-circuit it. Suddenly every Borg on the ship (maybe even others close enough within the collective hivemind), are flooded with more information and memories than they can possibly process at one time, coming from a singular source. Every cybernetic implant in the drone who initiated the assimilation overloads, and it collapses in an unresponsive heap.

Of course, Tom would hardly be much better off. It's like his brain exploded, first forced to try and comprehend the expansive collective of the hivemind, then flooded by memories and experiences he thought were all lost. Everything he saw, everywhere he was - all mixed in with the terrified screams of thousands of voices being overwhelmed and dying. When the drone collapses, Tom follows suit - his poor human brain unable to comprehend it all and shutting down to save itself.

When the others find him, he's unconscious, blood oozing from his nose and the injection sites in his neck. He's pale and clammy, but not the ashen color of a freshly-made Borg. The drone is lying beside him, dead - yet signs of struggle are clearly minimal. No one is sure what actually happened.

Tuvok and whoever else are in the away team are all completely perplexed. One moment they were trying to fend off the Borg in other parts of the Cube, then they heard Tom's screams echo through the ship and suddenly one by one, every drone seemed to fritz out and collapse. B'Elanna and Harry try checking the Borg systems, but they can't understand what they're seeing. All they can tell is that it looks like something burnt out every system, spreading from the inside out - both in the ship and the drones themselves like some kind of cascade failure.

Taking their chance to escape, the away team beams back to Voyager, with Tom sent straight to sickbay. When the Doctor gets ahold of him, he's shocked to see that the assimilation process had been started - but something had halted it. Nanoprobes have to be removed from Tom's body, but the interlink node that should have connected him to the collective is completely burned out even before the Doctor removes it. After surgery to remove the Borg tech and to repair some damage done to Tom's brain, they have to wait for him to wake up.

In the meantime, the other senior staff share what they know and what knowledge they gained from the Borg cube. B'Elanna and Seven come to the conclusion that there was some kind of cascade failure, and that the interconnectedness of the Borg meant that when it hit one, it hit all the rest. Janeway is excited by the prospect - that the Borg's greatest strength, their hivemind, could become their downfall if they can only figure out how to recreate what happened. Seven takes what scans she can from the Cube's systems before they depart, but it will take time to reconstruct all the damaged and fragmented data.

Of course, when Tom wakes up in Sickbay, he's initially pretty disoriented. He doesn't remember exactly what happened, too confused by the voices from the collective, and once more unable to comprehend the Warp 10 experiences. He explains that he remembers feeling the injection tubules piercing his skin, feeling terror and disgust at the idea of losing himself as a Borg, but then it's like... static in his brain. Just a faint memory of pressure and pain that he can't understand. When the Doctor assures him that there's no longer anything physically wrong with him, Tuvok suggests that perhaps a mind-meld will be able to help them. Tom's memories may be fragmented due to his injuries and the trauma of the experience, but Tuvok may be able to parse out what happened with the Borg.

The Doctor is, as usual, skeptical of the dangers of such a thing - especially so soon after Tom's recovery. But when he hears what the others experienced and why Janeway wants to know what happened, Tom agrees to the meld anyways.

Meanwhile, I also like to think that this strange occurrence was felt by the Borg Queen. Due to the time it would likely take for information to reach the center of the collective, I imagine only the drones closest to the away team's Cube would have been destroyed or otherwise incapacitated. Because of this, the Queen would have some knowledge of what happened - gleaned from fragments of the dying drones' collective consciousnesses. Mostly, she just felt hundreds of drones inexplicably ceasing to function and knew that, at the heart of it, somehow the crew of Voyager were involved. So she sends out a sort of scouting party, to find the ruined cube and to gather more information. Whatever had created this unknown threat - it has to be eliminated.

Back on Voyager, the meld doesn't exactly go as planned. Tuvok had melded with Tom once before after the Banean incident - but this was entirely different. He sees, experiences the sensations, as Tom is captured and the tubules are injected. But then everything becomes... almost incomprehensible. There is pain, fear - and the voice of the collective, their multi-faceted mantra of "resistance is futile, prepare to be assimilated". But intercut with this is something else entirely - space, a shuttlecraft, a feeling of inexplicable freedom. Then Earth, Starfleet headquarters, and a Klingon battle cruiser - voices from the Romulan high counsel, and the inside of an abandoned Cardassian station. Even more flood his mind - some arguing Kazon, though it seems to be a sect unfamiliar to them, a planet unknown to Federation star charts, creatures and places and people that Tuvok has no point of reference for. The images and sensations keep overlapping and coming faster, more intense, until Tuvok can also feel the screams of the Borg, feels the pain pain pain - and he has to force himself to sever the link before his own mind is drawn asunder.

In Sickbay, he stumbles back, caught by Janeway and Chakotay. Tuvok is surprised by the toll such a meld had on him, and even more so at the blood dripping from his own nose. Janeway kindly brings him a tissue and asks if he is alright. The Doctor is hovering, going back and forth between scanning Tuvok and Tom - the latter of which is only just coming around. He eventually asks what happened, trying to sit up but being overcome by a wave of dizziness. The Doctor insists he lie down, and for once Tom doesn't argue. He does admit, however, that partway through the meld it was like his mind just hit a wall and he must have passed out. He doesn't really remember anything.

After much fussing and a few hyposprays, the Doctor tells them that both Tom and Tuvok will be alright - but that they both need to rest for at least the next twenty-four hours. Whatever happened put a great deal of strain on their bodies both physically and mentally, and he once more chides Vulcans on their "recklessness in playing with the humanoid brain". He also give Tom a mild sedative to ensure that he doesn't try to overexert himself.

While Tom sleeps, Tuvok takes the time to meditate and regain his bearings. Afterwards, Janeway brings him some tea in her ready room and asks if he can try to explain what he saw. Tuvok says that the experience was quite disturbing, but that after familiarizing himself with Tom's records, he has begun to come up with a plausible hypothesis. He says that many of the things he saw in Tom's memories shouldn't have been possible - such as the unfamiliar Kazon sect, and the various worlds and humanoids that they have no record of. When Janeway asks if this could have come from the Borg, Tuvok says that it is unlikely - each person's perception leaves a sort of imprint on their own memories, like an artist's signature or the codes used to denote a federation signal in a communique. While the thoughts of the collective were briefly present in Tom's mind, as soon as he became linked to it, these other memories exploded out. The only explanation Tuvok can offer forth is that Tom's brain retained some encoding of his experiences with transwarp flight, which were previously too vast for him to consciously comprehend. The capacity of the humanoid brain to process information must have expanded exponentially with the aid of the collective, and these experiences were once again accessible. However, the onslaught was too much for even the Borg to handle, which completely overloaded their inorganic systems.

He expresses that it seems, Tom unintentionally became a living, breathing Trojan Horse for the collective - without anyone being aware of it. The supposed "weapon" that Janeway was hoping for is, unfortunately Tom Paris himself.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time! wednesday we watched voy's "displaced" and ds9's "children of time" AAAAAA from which i will. never recover

displaced (voy):

this one was truly so fun. i loved the mystery of what was going on, i loved how janeway was (i felt) unnecessarily hostile and then it turned out she was RIGHT, i loved when chakotay gave up on winning and decided to simply do as much sabotaging as possible before the same was up because i loved watching him cause problems on purpose

similarly the scenes in the biomes/tunnels were fun not only because janeway had a blast bargaining with that one guy but because and and tuvok were ALSO having fun creeping around causing problems on purpose

the final moment of joy was janeway willing to leave those aliens to freeze to death in their own fake biome if they didn't let everybody go. prime directive? we don't know her. sometimes it's annoying how trek only remembers the prime directive when it's convenient, but this was so much fun that i don't really care

shoutout also to tuvok for vulcan nerve pinching that one guy. not nearly enough vulcan nerve pinches lately

and, all right, look. tom and b'elanna are cute. i'm not going crazy stupid over them or anything but it was really special to me when he didn't fuck her. you can overlook so much annoying buffoonery from a guy when you begin giving him the benefit of the doubt (because he didn't fuck her) instead of being instantly annoyed every time he opens his mouth. tom paris maybe earned his redemption. i only wish i could have had a turnaround like this for picard instead

i was really glad they didn't Talk About It at the end. they both opened their mouths as if to say more and then decided not to and that was PERFECT. like the fact that she came and sought him out was apology enough. well done.

children of time (ds9):

girl, help

never in my life...

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS. i read we were due for a season 6 get together

AND HJE JUST STROLLS IN AND

like.

ok. like. ok. she's by the bucket rip odo back in the bucket so she's by the bucket smiling fondly at it and then THE OTHER ODO. WALKS IN. AND JUST SAYS IT. I HAD TO ADJUST. PRESENT DAY ODO IS SICK RN I KNOW IT

the way he almost touched her face without actually touching it. the way he says it because he's had 200 years to regret not saying it

also, the way that he can love someone for 200 years and not have it diminished in any way. like i'm not saying offing 8k colonists was the way to go but for someone whose body can change shape his will and the way he loves people is so steadfast and UNchanging and that is very. wow. what a situation that is

HIIIII THEY HELD HAAAAANDS. did i have to pause the episode and recover from hysterics and maybe also tears? don't worry about it

he makes hands to touch people with and when he woke up that morning for the first time in 200 years he made hands to touch her with.........

also, kira praying over her own grave. insane.

THE KISS!!!!!!! she was very much like giving that to him as a one time goodbye thing but AAAUGHGHGH

i kind of wish she'd asked WHY he loves her - that it had had a little more substance - but we gotta save some goodies for modern day odo

also aw he's still bad at shapeshifting even after linking with his other self...

also, i had odo vision this entire episode. kira has never looked more beautiful

anyway, sorry, the ethical dilemma. i don't think erasing 8k people from history is quite the same as killing them. they don't know they were erased and no one grieves them. it's more existentially horrifying, worse in some ways, but also not the same as murder, because again - what about the people on ds9 who exist right now and need their families? keiko and molly and yoshi and jake and kassidy? what about the people who would be born because they go back? the people who need sisko especially in the war efforts?

there's really not a clear right and wrong answer and it kind of sucks that the episode painted staying behind as like "the right thing to do even though it's very difficult to make such a sacrifice." like maybe the colony is miserable. struggling to survive. and that thickens things up a little

i read that dax was originally supposed to be the one to redo the autopilot because of his guilt over the accident which would have made lots of sense - i think we could have swung it to dax getting helped by odo, because dax's dedication to keeping the colony alive makes less sense the more you think about it, and then kira's slightly less horrified? maybe that removes some of the teeth, idk

also, imagine being bonded to your grandma's trill. like you'd remember her sex life. wack

AND I NEARLY FORGOT BUT SISKO BABY TALKING HIS LITTLE DESCENDANT!!!!!!!! please please PLEASE somebody give that man a baby he loves babies so much

anyway, 10/10, blew me away, i can't believe that really happened

TONIGHT: voy's "worst case scenario" and ds9's "blaze of glory"

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Tom Paris

By Ames

Strap in and get ready to go fast! A Star to Steer Her By has Tom Paris in the driver’s seat for this week’s character spotlight. Tom is a solid character throughout all of Voyager, with many faults that leave him room to develop over the seasons. He starts off as kind of a badboy with a heart of gold and grows into a good friend, loving husband, proud father, and designer of the Delta Flyer… who occasionally still dabbles into badboy with a heart of gold for fun.

Lt. Paris has a ton of hobbies (perhaps too many hobbies) for the show to mine for plots, but deep down, he’s just a guy with a ton of pressure on his shoulders, looking to redeem himself from past mistakes, and I give Voyager some credit for the Best Moments we’ll explore below, and even for some of the Worst Moments too. So pick a character from The Adventures of Captain Proton and hop in the holodeck with us as we highlight all things Paris below and on this week’s podcast episode (speed over to 55:35). Invaders! Invaders!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Am I discerning a personal problem here, gentlemen? We can’t be the only ones who hated the childish love triangle between Neelix, Kes, and Paris, and clearly the writers were sick of it too because they knew enough to fix it. Watching Paris and Neelix putting aside their differences in “Parturition,” while predictable and a little obvious, was exactly what their characters needed to get rid of that jealous rivalry no one asked for.

To infinity! And beyond! I will always defend “Threshold” … up until the last five or so minutes of the episode, which go off the rails. But up until then, we get so much great character work from Tom. His speech alone about how much pressure his father put on him to make something of himself and that’s why he needs to be the one to break the warp 10 barrier makes up for all the lizard babies out there.

Always make a pilot your wingman Paris is also just a good guy to all his friends on the ship, even the Doctor, with whom he’s constantly butting heads. So when the EMH is seeking advice for how to progress his relationship with Danara Pel in “Lifesigns,” Tom is there to suggest a trip to makeout point in the back of a Chevy convertible, which definitely does the trick!

There has been a spy aboard Voyager, but it isn’t Tom Paris While I was quick to give Tuvok some sass for how convoluted, dangerous, and bad his plan in “Investigations” was, Tom is what made it work in the end. He plays his part so well that he is able to foil Seska’s plan, expose the true traitor on the Voyager, and save the ship from attack by Kazons. And it is nice of him to apologize for all the insubordination part of the plan.

The cavalry’s here! Speaking of foiling Seska’s plans, Tom gets to save the day from her and the Kazons yet again in “Basics”! Where Chakotay was always too trusting of that secret Cardassian, Tom knows exactly where to tell Seska to shove it. His efforts allow him to escape the commandeered ship to bring back Talaxian reinforcements, sneak a message to the EMH, and thwart the Kazons for good!

I’m telling you again, he’s mine The friendship between Tom and Harry starts all the way back in the premier and comes a long way throughout Voyager, but it is on special display in “The Chute.” Tom protects Harry when he first arrives at the Akritirian prison, even getting stabbed to try to get them a chance at escaping, all while resisting the clamp that was agitating all the inmates’ minds.

Sexy, in a Howdy Doody sort of way You either enjoy or get fed up with the antics of an episode like “Future’s End,” but you’ve got to admit that Tom had chemistry like whoa with Rain Robinson. Watching two B movie fans geek out in the SETI lab was just endearing, and it makes me kinda wish we could have kept Rain around a little longer if only so she and Tom could play something silly on the holodeck.

If you let these instincts take over now, you’ll hate yourself We’ve scolded both Tuvok and Torres for their rapey actions in “Blood Fever” (and here’s an extra scold for Vorik, that dick), but the crew member who treats the situation correctly is Paris. He rightly declares that he will not take advantage of a person who has no ability to consent due to the pon farr, which should be a bar low enough for most people to easily clear.

You’ll miss the whole point of what it means to have a family Again we see Paris being a supportive friend in “Real Life” when the Doctor declares he’s shut down his holo-family program. Tom provides the human perspective that the Doc has needed and convinces him to let the rest of the story play out in a really lovely little peptalk. EMH really seems to get something out of experiencing both the good and the bad sides of real life.

Does the name Captain Bligh mean anything to you? While we were torn in our assessment of Chakotay’s handling of Annorax in “Year of Hell,” we know exactly where we stand on Tom’s approach: a standing ovation. Tom sticks to his guns in refusing to help the Krenim mess with the timeline, getting more blood on their hands. Instead, it’s his provoking Obrist to mutiny that ends up allowing Janeway to take them out in style!

Heavy is the chest that wears the puppet Though we’ll see in a moment that Tom does a lot of dumb things in his relationship with B’Elanna, they’re also a great match and truly love each other. We see this in “Nothing Human” when Torres is stuck under a puppet the entire episode, and Paris is at her bedside pretty much the whole time, being with her and keeping her spirits up.

I hereby reduce you to the rank of Ensign We, and many many fans apparently, have a jaded view of the Prime Directive sometimes. Tom is fully for breaking it in order to save the Moneans’ water planet in “Thirty Days,” standing up supportively for the little guy. So we frankly applaud his efforts, even if certain captains ensured they’d fail, when he tries to do what was morally right even if it breaks a frequently stupid rule.

—

Worst moments

At least he’s a step above Nick Locarno When we first meet Tom Paris in “Caretaker,” he’s in a Federation penal settlement in New Zealand, serving time for covering up a pilot error that caused the deaths of three other officers, which is a coward’s move even if he eventually fessed up to it. This sets him up for a character redemption arc, which I’ll at least say other Robbie McNeil–played characters don’t deserve.

Isn’t there some Indian trick where you can turn yourself into a bird and fly us out of here? What’s less forgivable is this line from “Caretaker” in which Tom makes some racist comment about Chakotay’s indigenous heritage that just comes off as crude. This line insinuating that Chakotay can turn into a bird comes absolutely out of nowhere and probably only serves to remind the audience that his character is Native American, and also that Tom is a tactless pig.

Birds of a feather, stick together On the subject of birds: whatever relationship Tom had with Lidell in “Ex Post Facto” was a terrible idea. Janeway talks so much smack to Harry when he has a consensual adult relationship with Tal in “The Disease,” when really she should have gotten on Tom’s case for having an affair with this molting bird woman who acts like a femme fatale out of a noir.

A whole crew full of women and I have to fall for the one I can’t have Another woman whom Paris really shouldn’t have gone for was Kes. We really don’t know what the writers were thinking with this love triangle, as it makes Tom look like a sleaze and Neelix look like a brute. Tom buys Kes a necklace in “Twisted,” when it was inappropriate as hell. And then “Parturition” starts with him moaning about his crush and being a big baby about it.

The house always wins Tom continues to look like a sleaze when he starts a sort of gambling ring for replicator rations in “Meld.” Tom’s sure got a lot of room to grow in this show because he does start off as this ne’er-do-well character, who is clearly taking advantage of his crewmates and pocketing all the replicator rations for himself because there’s never a winner of their little lottery pools.

Go, grease monkey, you’re burning up the quarter mile At some point, the show just decides Tom is going through a perpetual midlife crisis: adopting more hobbies than any other crewman; neglecting his duties, friends, and girlfriend; and generally seeming like a douche. And the episode that exemplifies this is “Vis à Vis,” in which he gets so fixated on fixing up a ‘69 Chevy Camaro that he becomes insufferable to everyone.

Building a new vessel from scratch, that’s an engineer's dream come true As I said last time, I mostly like Tom and B’Elanna as a couple, but every so often you wanna smack him for how oblivious he is. So while he does create the Delta Flyer in “Extreme Risk,” Paris ends up so distracted it makes him look like a buffoon because he hasn’t noticed that his partner has been having a crisis ever since learning months ago that her Maquis friends died.

The rain in Spain falls mainly in my brain This one’s mostly on the Doctor, but in case we don’t bring it up in a couple weeks when we spotlight his character, let’s blame Tom a little bit for this one too. The two of them make that inconsiderate bet about Pygmalion’ing Seven into a lady in “Someone to Watch Over Me,” and ya know what: she’s already great! Why these two men feel they need to fix her is frankly brutish.

Go ask Alice when she’s ten feet tall... and also a ship We remember from earlier in the show (and in this list!) how fixated Tom tends to get on his hobbies, bordering on obsessive behavior especially when it comes to cars and ships. So even though the eponymous ship in “AIice” is messing with his noodle a little, it’s still a bad look for Paris to get so fully infatuated with yet another piece of technology vying for his attention.

Party until the cows come home This is just a little moment, but I feel like including it. It’s just kinda mean for Tom to trick Harry into kissing a cow in “Spirit Folk.” Not only is it disrespectful to eavesdrop on his date, even if it is with a hologram (especially if it is with a hologram!), but Harry is making himself vulnerable for Maggie the Irish lass only for Tom to point and laugh at him. Be a better friend, Tom.

I didn’t think you liked the mushy stuff One more example of Tom being a dick to his girlfriend (I swear, I do like them together!) is how he constantly neglects her in “Drive.” They’re having a visceral fight about their future as a couple and B’Elanna has been earnestly planning to break up with him. So when Tom proposes, it really does feel like it’s just to get out of the argument and not because he really wants it.

The silent treatment The whole show, Tom’s character arc has focused on his desire to make his father proud of him. So you’d think when they’re finally onscreen together in “Pathfinder,” this’d come up. But no. The two characters have exactly no lines together. Even in the series finale “Endgame” when Voyager gets home and Tom has a daughter to introduce to her grandfather: still nothing! WHY?

—

We’re coming in for a landing in shuttle bay. Thanks for joining us on that little joyride around the Delta Quadrant. We’re back next week with more character spotlights here on the blog, and more Enterprise watchalong episodes over on the podcast (which you’re surely following on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast). You can also hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and remember: two Delaney sisters are better than one.

[procrastinatorproject]

WIP Folder Game

I wasn't actually tagged, but I saw this on @beautyofsorrow's blog and just... couldn't resist.

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

The problem, of course, is that my "WIP folder" is in fact four different Scrivener projects with a sum total of over 100k unpublished words, so this is gonna be LONG 😅���� But in the past, I have found great inspiration in looking through all my wild ideas and wip's that mostly consist of a couple paragraphs or a screenshhot of a discord conversation with friends. So I'm gonna do this anyway :D

WIPs that are only notes or snippets of conversations with friends where I tell them about My Great Fic Idea

Breathe

Field Medicine

5+1 holos

Moriarty

Bashir & Soji

All in a Day's Work

Kidfic

Merged

Sugar Rush

Circuit (Dark Academia)

S1 Agnes POV

CYOA/Scavenger Hunt

The Train Job

Regency AU

Holo-Admonition

He Never Gets Any Nicer (meta)

WIPs that are mostly notes (sometimes very long, elaborate notes) but do have a bit of actual writing attached

Conference Emails

Calluses

A Day at the Faire

Cosmic Detours (one unpublished chapter)

From the Mouths of Babes

Mittens on a String

Squad

Rescuing Dahj

Podcast

WIPs that are a single paragraph (or sentence) or two with not a lot of notes or context

ricepudding

Nostalgia/Nerdiness

The Quiet Spaces in Between (Raffi & Tuvok)

Kestra (Holoween)

All Aboard

Bed Rest (Seven)

Dino Hunt

Ready Room

Cosmic Detours (one unpublished chapter)

Valkriss Tales

Brainwashing

Choose Your Path

AI Malfunction

WIPs that are quite substantial already but still need a lot more work (or for me to sit down and JUST WRITE THE THREE MISSING SENTENCES ALREADY MY GOODNESS!)

Virus

Check-Up

Raffi Whump

Game Night II (Holoween)

Snapshots

Bed Rest (Rios)

Bed Rest (Picard)

Bed Rest (Agnes)

Homecoming

Dynamic Chaos

Meadow (two unpublished chapters)

Baby on Board

Space Shark

CMO's Log (some notes and a couple unpublished chapters)

Favouritism

Four Cakes

Sleep-Deprived

In the Shallows

In the Palm of his Hand (couple unpublished chapters)

Mittens on a String (5 + 1)

Institutional Knowledge

Kestra & Rios

The Cake Is A Lie (Findings and Conclusion)

And finally: WIP's so big they are their own Scrivener Project and will never be finished because they'd be the length of a novel. Or two. (Though I usually only have a few paragraphs/chapters written, the rest is wild ideas and notes)

Star Trek: La Sirena, Episode 2 (and notes for five or six more episodes)

Star Trek: Second Chances

Post-Rusker [semi-disqualified]

Synth Ban Thriller

Star Trek Holo Novel

And I'm not gonna tag as many people as I have WIPs, because that would require me to count them. And even though I rationally know the number of WIPs is morally neutral, I still have deep shame about Not Finishing Things. I'm working hard to dismantle that and have come a long way, but I'm not there yet 😅

(Also, I may not have enough mutuals for the number of WIPs 🙈😅)

So, if you, too, would like to stroll through your WIP folder and have people ask you about some of the stories that live in your head rent free, take this as permission to go for it! 😁🖖

[bumblingbabooshka]

The Doctor turning into women and having romantic dalliances with men is every kind of queer...to me.

[suckerforcate]

Minefield

Pairing: Kathryn Janeway x Reader

Word Count: 1500

Warning: kind of battle, wounds, internal wounds

A/n: I'm so sorry that I am posting so few things atm. This story alone took me three weeks, cause I have zero time. My exams are this and next week. I hope to write a bit more after that!!! Hope you like it, I know Janeway stories have few readers🥲

"Red Alert" the Captains voice echoed through the bridge. Immediately the familiar sound started and the light changed into an alarming red. Everyone on the ship took their battle stations and waited for Captain Janeway's orders.

It had been quite an uneventful morning and the chattering and laughing on the bridge had made it seem like a break. A break from fighting, from dying and chaos. But, as they say: never praise the day to early.

Tom had picked up something on the long range sensors. A possible distress call. So, of course you followed it. Getting closer, you noticed that it wasn't just one distress call. There were dozens of them, overlapping each other.

Soon it became clear, as to what the reason for the calls was. A large ship uncloaked and attacked Voyager without warning. Everyone was shaken thoroughly, some even falling out of their chairs. They were much stronger and heavily armed.

"Fire!" Janeway didn't hesitate to defend her ship, even though it was clear that you wouldn't get through their shields so easily.

Another shake. "Hull breach on deck 3 and 7, Captain." Harry announced. Janeway's eyes flickered towards Chakotay and up to Harry Kim. She knew you didn't stand a chance, yet she wanted to help. The other ship were smaller. Already half destroyed, some close to destruction. They weren't able to flee anymore.

Anther hit. A console next to you exploded, Ensign Miller falling back. Janeway's head turned to you.

"B'Elanna to the Captain." Kathryn's hand flew onto her communicator, answering.

"Captain, the warp engine won't hold much longer. We had a direct hit. Shields are down, and I won't get them up again so fast."

"Hull breach on Deck 6. Thirteen wounded and 3 dead." Chakotay looked at Janeway, his face saying: Please, Kathryn. You know we can't win.

With the next hit, Captain Janeway stumbled forward, missing the step and falling down. Desperately trying to catch something to hold onto. Her rip banged against metal, an unpleasant sound. Accompanied by groaning she tried lifting herself up. Her hair was a mess, strands having fallen out everywhere. Her forehead had taken a beating, a thin trace of blood flowing down.

"Tuvok, can you try to beam as many off the destroyed ships? The wounded directly onto Sickbay." He nodded slightly, getting to work.

"As soon as Lieutenant Tuvok is done, you turn around and go to warp. Get us out of here." Janeway stood up, knees seemingly still wobbly and turned to look at Tom.

"Ai, Ma'am."

Kathryn nearly crawled back to her chair and fell into it. You had to hold everything inside of you together to not stand up and run to her. To not check if she was alright. Hesitantly you turned away from her and proceeded to work on the environment control.

"I've got as many as I can, Captain." Tom took that as his cue and flew the ship out of the literary minefield. Right before he jumped into warp, another hit made the ship shake. Somewhere on the bridge a console exploded and someone cried out.

Environmental controls started to fail, first on the lower decks and then slowly on decks all over the ship.

"Captain, were losing environmental controls." You turned, looking at the command team. Janeway's face stayed stern and collected.

"Take power from the holodecks and if needed from the transporter controls. That should suffice. Provide the decks that are still intact first, the evacuated ones are secondary." You nodded, and started the job.

Kathryn looked at Tom questioning. "No one's following us, Captain."

"Alright, I'll be in my ready room." With that she gave the bridge to Chakotay and left. Walking unsteady, a hand holding her rip. You could see her fall against her desk right before the doors shut behind her.

Quickly you rerouted the needed power and got the environmental controls up again. Hesitantly you looked around, no one was looking. Fast you stood up and made your way over to the Captain's ready room.

"Come in" Her voice was weaker than usual, and it was accompanied by a light groan.

Stepping in you saw her, leaned against a wall. She was holding her rip with one hand, the other hand held her steady on the wall.

"Lieutenant." She looked a little surprised, trying to hold composure and failing miserably. She groaned, and you thought you saw her knees shake slightly. Carefully you approached her and took her arm, your own arm fell around her waist. Together you went over to her coach, and you gently put her down.

Taking out a medical tricorder, you started to scan her. Your brow furrowed, and she knew something wasn't good.

"You have a broken rip and...my god. Kathryn, you are bleeding internally." Your hand practically flew onto your communicator.

"(L/n) to engineering." B'Elanna was quick to answer.

"Do you think you can manage emergency transport to sickbay. The captain is bleeding internally. I don't think I'll get her there by foot." You saw Kathryn opening her mouth to argue, but you immediately shushed her. This wasn't the time to be stubborn.

"I can try. Give me a minute."

"Acknowledged."

In the meantime you took out the dermal regenerator and started to heal the cuts and bruises that marked her forehead and arm.

"You called me Kathryn." Your eyes slowly wandered up. She didn't look mad, just surprised.

"I'm sorry, Captain. I was worried." Kathryn had no chance to say anything, as B'elanna's voice cut her off.

"Ready for transport?"

"Yes."

"She has a broken rip and is bleeding internally. You need to help her." The panic you tried to hide earlier now found its way to the surface.

The next second you found yourself in the Sickbay. Kathryn sat on a biobed and groaned in pain. The Doctor came rushing immediately. On the other beds were aliens you hadn't seen before. One seemed to be asleep or unconscious, one dead.

"Where are the others, Doctor?" The Captain looked around, surprised to see just these two aliens.

"They were fine, just minor injuries. Commander Tuvok has accompanied them to quarters to rest."

You thought it was wonderful that Kathryn cared for them and worried. Still, she was hurt and needed help.

"No need to panic, Lieutenant. The Captain will be just fine. If you could give me some space to work now, that be quite helpful." Kathryn gave you a gentle smile and slightly nodded. Before you could say something else the Doctor shooed you away.

"Yes, I will inform you."

With that you left and went to your quarters. The next hours were torture. You were pacing around like a wild animal, walking a hole into the floor. With every second more and more panic flooded through you.

"Doctor to (L/n). She is awake and well. You may visit her now." Relief washed over you, hurriedly you made your way to the sickbay. The doors opened, and immediately you saw your Captain smile at you.

You couldn't contain yourself anymore and practically ran to her, embracing her in a hug. She let out a surprised yelp and shared the hug.

"Careful Lieutenant. I'm not quite patched up yet." You pulled away and smiled apologetically. Slowly your hand cupped her cheek and stroked her cheek. The cheek that had been bleeding just a few hours ago. Her eyes grew wide at the sudden contact, and yet she seemed to lean into your touch. It was now or never, so you leaned forward, and your lips found hers. Gently, careful not to hurt her any more, you pulled her closer and intensified the kiss.

"Lieutenant!" She panted right after you pulled away. Her voice was weaker than usual, still it held a certain warning.

"I'm sorry. I was so worried, and I just thought: what if she had died and wouldn't have even known that I love her." Her eyes grew wide, shock graced her face.

"I- Lieutenant. (Y/n), I'm flattered. But I can't-" You put your finger on her mouth, stopping her from finishing that thought.

"Yes. Yes, you can. You have denied yourself love and companionship for far too long. And why? Because you think the crew wouldn't respect you anymore? Because it's against protocol? To hell with that! We are so far from home and the crew won't care a bit. They'll be happy. Their respect won't change, it'll never change. They love you way too much. Admit it, you're lonely. And face the possibility that we won't get home so fast. Do you want to stay lonely for the next twenty years? If you don't love me, that's ok. But don't break this off because you think you don't deserve it. You do." Lightly she pushed your hand down and crashed her lips onto yours. You knew you had to talk about this some more. It would take time to convince her of those things. But this was a nice start.

[myfaveisfuckable]

Tuvok:

Ok, first off: real world standards, he's not normal passing. Apart from the ears, he's just too autistic (sorry, "Vulcan" 🙄) to be considered "normal looking". He went to 1990s earth once and Did Not Pass as normal. But in universe, he would on the surface seem like a model Vulcan. And he is, kinda. But he's also so gd weird. (/aff)

Not even gonna get into how badly he wants to be Will Graham because obviously that's there too but we don't have all day. Anyway.

Obvs the emotions struggle is real as it is for any Vulcan worth paying attention to, if only because they were all only ever written by humans.

But also, tangential to him being Will Graham coded (but still separate enough) he is a total mind slut. You know how some characters will go "when I have a problem, I set it on fire" or shit like that? When Tuvok has a problem, he mind melds with it. Homoerotically if it's an option. Dude even got a mind std one time, despite the fact that's not even a thing.

And then whatever the fuck kinda thing he has going on with Janeway. Not even necessarily in a shippy way ("not romantic, not platonic, so devoted the lines blur") but like... not only is he unreasonably loyal to her but he does shit like not only letting her touch him whenever she wants but *deliberately offering her HIS HAND to hold* to comfort her when she needs it (reminder that hand touching is very intimate to Vulcans and can be likened to human kissing) and again, they're never even stated as romantic or anything, they're just friends and yet he is more loyal to her than he is to his own code of ethics.

Obviously part of all of it could be because Janeway (or possibly Kate Mulgrew) is simply Like That, she does do shit like tell her platonic subordinate "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in a tone that makes me lose it, but it's not all her, Tuvok is also extremely not normal about it. I should submit Janeway too actually, I'll do her next.

Also, afaik Tuvok is the only crew member of Voyager (who makes it back) who had a romantic partner before the ship got lost in the Delta quadrant and remained loyal the entire seven years they were lost. I *think* Samantha Wildman also did but she's a minor character (so she could've been getting it off screen) and she started out pregnant so once born Naomi both kept her busy and was a living reminder of her husband's love. So in that regard, Tuvok is very much not normal but like in the most positive way. He literally didn't cheat on his wife even when his life was in danger (they *were* out there for seven years so of course he hit pon farr eventually) and I think that's really cool of him. But also very not normal.

I'm very tired rn but once the polls come out, simply check out the blog of Bea @bumblingbabooshka (wanna clarify, I'm not him but he is THE Tuvok blogger in my opinion) who has written much on this already.

There's also the whole stuff that happened around his monestary era but I'm not even at that part yet but it must've been wild.

Anyway. Vote Tuvok

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

[giffingthingsss]

Neelix and Nebulas

NEELIX: Now look what she's gotten us into! KES: Do all nebulas look like that? NEELIX: I wouldn't know. I'm smart enough to go around nebulas when I encounter them....This ship is the match of any vessel within a hundred light years, and what do they do with it? 'Well, let's see if we can't find some space anomaly today that might rip it apart!'

...

TUVOK: May I ask when you became morale officer? NEELIX: Oh, just a few minutes ago when I sensed crew morale might be especially low. Mine certainly was. We were in a free fall at the time. KES: Cooking always helps Neelix to unwind. NEELIX: Yes, and after we stabilized, I certainly needed to unwind.

...

NEELIX: The crew seem a little on edge. TUVOK: Oh? They don't appear particularly anxious to me. NEELIX: They're very good at hiding their fears. Starfleet training. I was wondering how soon we might be leaving this nebula. Knowing could help me assure them. TUVOK: It's difficult to say. The Bussard Collectors are running at maximum, but it's a slow process. We could be here for several more days. NEELIX: Days? TUVOK: Mister Neelix, are you certain it's not you who is on edge?...I can assure you, a J class nebula is no cause for alarm.

NEELIX: I know it's illogical, but staring into this murky cloud for hours on end can be a little unsettling. When I was a child, an immense plasma drift passed through the Talaxian system. The stars and the moons were blotted out for months. From horizon to horizon all you could see was this enormous, menacing cloud. Ever since then I've found it a little disturbing to be in nebulas.

TUVOK: Perhaps the Captain might give you permission to install curtains. NEELIX: That's an excellent idea. And I have just the right material.

[leohtttbriar]

of an olden tone

Tuvok seeks something, even in the cell in which he and B'Elanna are locked. (Missing scene from "Resistance.") Written for trektober 2024: Day 16 Mint

It took fifteen minutes for Tuvok to start singing. He echoed in the cell. His voice was strained, the given result of being violently choked. 

“What are you doing?” asked B’Elanna. 

Tuvok stopped singing and looked to his side, where she sat, brimming with frustration. She was wringing her hands with more concentration than normally accompanied the human gesture. She did not meet his eyes.

“I will not be restrained from peace, as well,” he said. And went back to singing. 

Through storms he crossed the Voroth Sea / To reach the clouded shores of Raal

The dusty yet damp cell was reminiscent of deliberately resonant architecture on Vulcan, in the way it extended up, in the way it was made of stone. Tuvok sang and could hear many voices, compressing waves of air touching his body in as real a way as he had just been beaten, minutes before. He reached into the organized images of his memories and re-witnessed the face of his children and the face of his wife and all the faces of every person he might never be with again. The drop in his stomach and the chilling of his body temperature indicated some reaction to this, a strong one that was able to be sensed outside the extensive conscious controls he possessed on sensation. 

He would need to accept this if he was going to continue. 

His first son he placed on his left palm, his daughter he placed on his throat, his second son he placed on the back of his right hand, his third he placed in the crease between his shoulder blades. His mind, as ever, was his wife’s. 

“Is it helping?” she asked. B’Elanna, lonely child that she was. “To endure?”

“Is what helping?” 

“The singing,” she said, she shrugged, she mumbled, both curious and frustrated, into her folded arms. “The praying you do. All that. Does it help you to endure?”

Abruptly, she turned and frowned up at him.

“If Vulcans do feel pain then ‘endurance’ must be the same for us.”

Tuvok said, “What do you mean?”

“It’s a…it’s an extended struggle. That’s what enduring is.”

“Perhaps.”

“Perhaps?”

“I am no philosopher,” said Tuvok. “All I know is that the separation from my family is real. It would be illogical to let the present immutability of this separation shape the way they yet exist for me. They are still of me.”

B’Elanna looked away. 

“I don’t think I get that,” she said. 

Tuvok thought: this girl might make a family with her own hands of raw materials before concluding the normal shape of one in a person. 

“My daughter I have put on my throat,” he said. “That is what she is to me. I cannot think of my throat or touch it or use it without thinking of her.”

“Your throat is bruised.”

Tuvok closed his eyes and leaned back against the cell wall more heavily, enduring the ache in his ribs and upper back and the strain around his skull. 

He started singing again. His voice was sore.

B’Elanna shifted and said soft enough that he knew she did not mean for him to hear: “Some mint tea and honey will help with that, probably.”