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wangxianficfinder · 2 days ago

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Fic Finder

Jan 4th

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1. Hello! I'm trying to find what I'm fairly sure was a threadfic, though I could be mistaken. It had single dad wwx dating lwj, but a-yuan hated his dad's new bf, to the point that wwx ended up breaking up with lwj. But then a-yuan felt bad and schemed to get them back together. Thanks!

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2. Hi everyone can someane please tell me the title of one fanfic of modao zu shi i seaching. A long time ago i discovered a fanfic of mo dao zu shi wich containe this infos :The plot vaguely is :after being taken under a curse lan zhan and wei ying spend the night in the cave and see know what they did ~~. Wei ying due to the curse was able to get pregnant and left to hide and raise her child (black hair but golden eyes like her father lan zhan). Wei ying and her child are taken care of by ghosts or a ghost I don't know anymore. After more twists Wei ying died like at the beginning of the original novel. After several years despite all these efforts Lanzhan was not able to call the soul of Wei Ying. Her son who became a little older then worked every day in secret on the dark spells like his mother did and tried to bring his mother back and succeeded etc...please if someone know about the title please tell me i read it in wattpad but today as i didn't know the title and as there are lot of fanfic i couldnt find it. @foxfel

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3. Hello once more! Again thank you for finding the fics. This time there's this fic: WWX doesn't die cause Baoshan Sanren saves him after he throws himself off the cliff and he's tended to by her and Lan yi (who's BS's cultivation partner) and is in coma for 10 years. After waking up he doesn't have his memories and is thus named Genxin(Gengxin?)(he's names sth!) and can finally have the life he was denied as a child for the next 6 years. I also remember he wears beautiful clothes with different colors and cuts and this was the aspect that caught my eye. Also Nie Mingxue if found alive when he joins the mystery solving band. Sooo it'd be good if it can be found since all my search didn't bear fruit @raven-hale

FOUND? Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, no pinning, LWJ learns how to speak, WWX is not oblivious, Established Relationship, wangxian are married and have a son, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, Canon-Typical Violence, LSZ is LWJ & WWX's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canonical Character Death - WWX, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts)

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4. Hi! I'm looking for a fic in where cultivator lwj gets zapped into modern times right in wwx's apartment. He says there for a while before retunifn back to his world to investigate some mysterious illness with lxc. Meanwhile, the Wens destroyed wwx life in the modern world and he got kicked out. Lwj doesn't know what happens to hum when he went back but wex switched places with mo xuanyu in lwj's reality and lwj is trying to piece together what happened to wei Ying as they both investigate the qi disease. There are also no duplicates across both worlds. The Wens run a health company called Wenquish. They were trying to ge Wen Ning on it too.

FOUND? take me back to a time by DizziDreams (T, 143k, WangXian, College/University, Modern with Magic, Time Travel, Sharing a Bed, Fish out of Water, Man Out of Time, WWX questionable decisions, LWJ lizard brain, Angst with a Happy Ending, WWX's lack of self-preservation, Student WWX, Time-Traveling Wizard LWJ, Slow Burn, Character Death, reference to abuse, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Abuse, Canon LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Mutual Pining, Chronic Illness, Not A Fix-It, WWX be like "i should be scared but instead im just horny", feat: lwj horny grip, Case Fic, Russian Translation Available, Transmigration, America, Spanish Translation Available, [Podfic of] take me back to a time by dreamhazer)

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5. Hello! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope you can help me find this one fanfic! Lan Wangji was in a meeting i think and Wei Wuxian was walking around the cloud recessess then the lan juniors or juniors in general decided to follow him around (like little duckling following their mother) thankyou!

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6. Hi! So there was this fic which I remember only reading the summary of, I don't actually start it (I think cause it was a WIP or maybe I didn't like a tag??) but it was basically that WRH had a list of all the future oracles, and the last one on the list was WWX

hi! I'm #6 on the fic finder and id like to add that WWX was the last oracle on the list after WRH(??), so WRH wanted to keep him, I think that was implied

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7. Hi! This is fic finder. Set in modern era. A-yuan lives in orphanage. He and the children there is not treated kindly by the matron (? I dont know what they are called) but a-yuan gets the worse treatment. I think the matron is Wang Lingjiao. And then the Lan comes and wants to adopt him. There are trial time i think for a-yuan to decide if he wants to be adopted or not but in the end he accept. Then the Lan announced that they are searching for someone (WWX). I think its because a-yuan asked them? I dont remember why. And then WWX comes using a bus but when he arrived he saw that a-yuan is happy so he go back. I think Su She who work as security for the lan noticed him and chased WWX away. I think he followed WWX too. After that Su She noticed a pendant that WWX wears and accused him for stealing. Something happen and then WWX lives in the Lan estate. Wangxian falls in love. And then it was revealed that WWX wants to adopt a-yuan but WLJ does something that males WWX cant adopt a-yuan. I dont remember if WWX tells LWJ or he found out that a-yuan is the late WRH grandchild. Thats all i can remembeer. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

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8. I had it bookmarked but can't find it. Please help! Ai remember the fic had wwx in the demon slaughtering cave but it wasn't a real cave it was modern au I think and he snuck into the demon slaughtering cave for comfort i think i don't fully remember?

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9. Hello! For fic finder: modern setting, wei ying didnt know about aftercare, so after hooking up with lan zhan he gets confused by his dom trying to take care of him and tries to leave, confusing lan zhan in turn. wen qing had been looking out for him after his hook ups previously. despite not usually hooking up with the same person more than once, he keeps seeing lan zhan. wei ying is scared of being too clingy, but lan zhan explains the concept of aftercare, leading to wei ying wondering why his previous doms never bothered and if he had done something wrong, which lan zhan refutes. they end up deciding to date.

FOUND! try a little tenderness by ilip13 (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, BDSM, Dom/sub, Aftercare, Subdrop, Reference to bad BDSM etiquette in wwx’s past, Reference to wwx’s self-worth issues, Cuddling & Snuggling, Getting Together, Little bit of miscommunication in the beginning but they get better at it, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Reference to BDSM scenes)

NOT FOUND! like it's the only thing i'll ever do by quothhh (M, 5k, WangXian, WWX/Other (Offscreen), Modern AU, Pre-Relationship, Aftercare, Sub Drop, Pining)

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10. Hello! A good while ago I read a fanfic (modern au) in which wwx had a depressive episode in which he couldn't even get out of bed, I haven't been able to find if and I was wondering if lt sounded familiar to anyone? ♡ @menimimimeni

Hi! I'm #10 in the last fic finder, unfortunately that wasn't the fic I was talking about 😞, that said I read it and it was very lovely

On another note I think it might have been an arranged marriage au, however I'm not sure, what I'm sure of is that lwj was really worried about wwx

NOT FOUND!🔒your heart is mine to fortify by sunflowersfield (G, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bakery AU, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Neurodiversity, Anxiety, Insomnia, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Pining, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Domestic Fluff, Slice of Life)

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11. Can you help me find s fic that was i think a/b/o, but im not quite sure, and it was a mafia au and wwx was pregnant?

FOUND? Baby, You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by TriviasFolly (E, 177k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Omega LSZ, Mafia AU, Modern AU, Sects are Clans, Feral WWX, Feral Omegas, Nurse WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Possessive Behavior, Possessive LWJ, feminine WWX, wwx's cannon desire to be a sugar baby/trophy wife, Breeding Kink, Mpreg)

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12. Hello! Good morning/afternoon/evening! I'm asking for fic finder :D Looking for the fic where the entire nie sect traveled back in time except for Nie Mingjue and he's very much confuse on why everyone is treating him differently. specific scenes like the cooks preparing his favorite meals, his cousins/nie disciples taking turns to guard him

thank you!!

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13. Hi! I'm a big fan of your work. Thank you for compiling lists of recs and finding fics!

I've been looking for a specific cannon divergent fic. I remember everything mostly going the same up until the end of the Sunshot campaign.

For some reason, the wens aren't killed off. A new original character is put in charge. Either NHS, WWX or JZX thinks something is up with the new wen clan leader an sect leader Jin.

For some reason WWX ends up in cloud recesses. Marriage or healing?

There are also two memorable sect conferences in the story where JGS uses demonic cultivation (either WWX's work or help from the new wen sect) to control people. The first one is used to upset the sect leader's and get them angry. WWX finds out about this one and tells people. For the most part it backfires, and JGS tries to blame it on him then uses someone else as a scapegoat. JYL is pregnant with JL, and the array makes her feel sick and leave. I don't think NMJ was affected though.

The second time, an array is hidden in JGS bedroom and is like some kind of aphrodisiac/compulsion array for JGS to assault some young woman.

In the end, JGS next victim kills him publicly and the Jin and Wen sects are exposed. Wen Qing is the next Wen leader and the Jin sect has a lot of restructuring to do. @hopesteapot-blog

FOUND? Back To The River (So Learn To Swim) by kalany (M, 83k, CSSR/WCZ/JFM/YZY, XuanLi, WangXian, Fix-it fic, self-reincarnation, autotransmigration, time travel adjacent Pregnancy, access to appropriate obstetrics care, Childbirth, Unplanned Pregnancy, Polyamory, Polygamy, survival sex, unwanted pregnancy ending in termination, on-page death of a child, Murder of a Child, non-explicit discussion of sexual assault, Sexual Coercion, brief glimpse of sexual assault, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Sexism, background asexual JC, bisexual JFM, bisexual YZY, Bisexual CSSR, bisexual WCZ, Sect Heir JYL) the conference stuff is from this fic

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14. Hi! This is a request for a 3-Jun centric fic. Really hoping you will find it...

It’ set with Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue as assassins, working under Jun Guangshan and Wen Ruohan respectively. Lan Xichen is a teacher in some kind of a politically cordoned off sensitive place and holds the secret to access the Yiling patriarch through his brother, LWJ. MY NMJ get assigned to LXC, being forced to work together to get their hands on some weapon or something… WWX is rumoured to be dead, but actually is the elusive Yiling patriarch, secretly working for the Jiang siblings. It is a complete story, and sooooo good and I wanna reread it, but i cant find it 🥲

Thanks so much!!!

FOUND? The Man From Y.I.L.I.N.G. by Eleanor_Fenyx, little-smartass (Linxcat) (M, 123k, 3zun, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JC & WWX & JYL, The Man From U.N.C.L.E AU, Spies & Secret Agents, Modern, but make it mid-1960's cold war China, JGS's A+ Parenting, The homoeroticism of falling in love with your mark, and also your unwanted mission partner who irritates the shit out of you)

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15. Hello i'm looking for a fic where lwj was an emperor, the kingdom held a concubine selection and wwx was forced to participate by yu ziyuan, and unfortunate for him he was chosen. The wen siblings became his servants. In the fic i think he tried to be kicked out of the palace/harem but emperor lwj was quit smitten,and i think lwj already knew wwx, but wwx didn't know him. In one of the scenes lwj found out that he got treated poorly from the other servant/concubines, and wangxian where intimate real fast. @ahiku-chan

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16. happy new year, mods! looking for a fic: I'm not sure if it might have been in a modern setting, but it's one where there are multiple versions of wwx from the past, including a child, that the present wwx buries in his garden and has to kill (?) over and over. lwj initially doesn't know but eventually finds out about this secret. thank you! @potatokunst

FOUND! Howling by MimiSpearmint (E, 40k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mortal Instruments Fusion, Horror, Eldritch, Domestic Fluff, Single Parent WWX, Witchcraft, Getting Together, shifter!lwj, yllz!wwx, Intercrural Sex, Hand Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Switch WangXian, a bit of a degradation kink, anti-STI sex talismans, Anal Sex, Oral Sex)

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17. hello, I'm looking for a fic where a young LWJ meets his older self multiple times during the canon timeline. The first time the younger LWJ sees him, it is around the time of the cloud recesses study arc, and he mistakes his older self to be his father. He has multiple conversations with his older self. Thank you as always for your help! @classygreydove

FOUND? 花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie (M, 29k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It of Sorts, Case Fic, Spells & Enchantments, Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, It’s about the emotional catharsis, If you have ever laughed at WWX clowning himself for the 'no one will marry you’ scene, This fic is: for you) I’m pretty sure 17 is the flower that withers, it’s from adult LWJ’s perspective, but the description otherwise feels right.

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18. Hi I’m looking for this fic where lan wangji and Wei wuxian are already together post canon. Wwx is messing around with his talismans and accidentally curses lan zhan to kill him. The rest of the fic (3-4chapter I think) is wwx trying to undo the curse and lan zhan trying to kill him. There’s an explicit scene and wwx uses that as a distraction to escape and there’s a river I think?? Anyway thank you!!

FOUND? all the broken things that I made by ilip13 (E, 43k, WangXian, Post-Canon Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Lovers To Enemies, (then back to lovers I'm not a monster), Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Consent, But mostly not in the way you might expect - see notes for details, Explicit Sexual Content, Bondage, Flirting, Competence Kink)

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19. Searching for a fic that I read a along time ago on archive and any help in locating would be appreciated.

Wei Yings a god and he meets kid Lan Zhan one night. He drops some sort of Wen artifact that helps Lan Zhan save Gusu when the Wens attacked. Wei Ying is punished and doesnt see LanZhan for a long time. Next time they see each other Lan Zhan is grown and Wei Ying fondly calls Lan Zhan his little light bearer. Lan Zhan falls in love but Wei Ying does not understand human feelings. Push and tug, Wei Ying seals with powers as a god within bells to experience human emotions. Cant remember anymore details. Any help is appreciated @katwkay

NOT FOUND! Flaming Gentians by Honey_and_Chocolate (T, 28k, WangXian, WIP, Immortal WWX, Fox WWX, Dragon LWJ, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Child LWJ, Burial Mounds, Attractive WWX, YLLZ WWX, Soulmates, Self-Indulgent, Fluff and Humor, WWX likes to wear accessories, earrings mainly, WWX has been friends with almost every important figure of the cultivation world, presumed engagement, heaven is just another world, one that WWX has made scared shitless of him for eternity)

FOUND! classygreydove: 19 is "Lying on the Edge of a Star" I'm pretty sure. It was a fic I also asked wangxianficfinder to find and later discovered the fic was moved to a hidden collection. I spent a lot of time tracking a copy of it down using wayfinder/internet archive. @/katwkay if u want the pdf of the fic feel free to dm me

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20. Happy new year buddy!

A) Can you help me find a fic where WWX comes back alive (looking like a hobo. I think he was in his original body) and learns that people are competing to marry LWJ. He receives proposals from various sects including an older woman I think..

Obviously none would win. I think WWX wins against all of them (lookin like a hobo).

B) There is a similar fic where people trying to defeat LWJ so that they can marry him. There was a instance where both of them where walking and a man outta nowhere came and have a sword fight with LWJ much to WWX's chargin.

I'm not sure if both of the above fic are the same....😅 @grrumpywoof

20B)

FOUND? dream of a funeral; hear of a marriage by defractum (nyargles) (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, First Time, Fluff and Humor)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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aishangotome · 2 days ago

Text

Azel Radwan: Romantic Ending Ch. 21

Chapter 20

Thank you @shatcey for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

One evening, the greedy God, on a whim, gave me a lesson on Tanzanite cuisine.

Azel: Your debt keeps increasing instead of decreasing…

Azel: At this rate, you might have to be my slave forever, you know?

At the dinner table, which had become a daily occurrence in Tanzanite, Prince Azel brought the food to his mouth with gestures that spoke of his good upbringing.

Today's meal was a Tanzanite-style salad made with bulgur wheat soaked in water until soft, mixed with finely chopped tomatoes, onions, and parsley.

The main course was simple yakitori, skewers of chicken seasoned with vegetables and spices, served with chickpea soup.

The presentation wasn't perfect, but I was getting used to dishes other than Rhodolite's.

Even so—I couldn't agree with the dinner topic being my debt.

Emma: Just to be sure, what debt are you referring to?

Azel: The tuition fee for the Tanzanite cooking course.

Emma: I'm improving my cooking skills for your benefit too, you know.

Azel: That's irrelevant. No matter what your circumstances are, my goodwill doesn't come free.

(He brings up debt, debt, at every opportunity...)

(But, I've recently learned how to get back at him.)

Emma: Ah, I understand. You want to keep me here, don't you, Prince Azel?

Azel: That's a leap in logic.

Emma: It's not. You keep increasing my debt with contrived reasons, so I thought you didn't want to let me go.

Azel: That's absurd.

(He won't meet my eyes... Don't tell me I hit a nerve?)

(...Calm down, Emma. Don't dig your own grave.)

I cleared my throat to regain my composure.

Emma: But at this rate, I don't think I'll be able to repay it even if I spend my whole life doing so.

Emma: I'd be happy if you could provide some kind of relief measure.

Azel: I'd like to tell you to diligently pay it off in cash or labor, but...

Azel: If it's going to become a bad debt anyway, it might be an option to show you another path.

Azel: For example, if you give me something worth a fortune, I might consider it.

Emma: ...Something worth a fortune...

Azel: A treasure that I would want even if I had to pay a large sum of money for it.

Emma: Do you have any desires besides money, food, books, and materials, Prince Azel?

Azel: Let me see...

Prince Azel, who had stopped eating, suddenly looked at me.

But he didn't say anything, and his mystical eyes remained motionless, making me uncomfortable.

Emma: .....Prince Azel?

Azel: ......

Emma: Why are you pinching my cheeks?

Azel: Because I felt irritated for some reason.

Emma: It hurts!

Azel: I thought about it, but as of now, there's nothing that's worth a fortune to me.

The hand that had left my cheek now reached for the yakitori.

Emma: It's troubling that there's nothing, for my debt's sake.

Azel: You just have to become a great merchant like Prince Silvio.

Emma: I don't think I can.

Azel: Then give up and keep diligently earning money.

Azel: Ah, don't worry. I also accept debt repayments by letter.

Azel: Use a carrier or whatever to deliver it to me.

Emma: ...If it gets to be too much, I think I'll consult with the owner.

Azel: Please don't do that. It's not something a kind-hearted Belle should do. It's too cruel.

I couldn't help but laugh at Prince Azel's sudden change in attitude.

The God frowned.

Azel: ...More importantly, you haven't eaten anything since a while ago.

Emma: Ah, I was so engrossed in talking that I...

Emma: Shouldn't you be reading a book, Prince Azel?

When I pointed it out, Prince Azel finally seemed to realize that he hadn't brought a book to the dinner table.

Azel: ...There's no book I want to read today.

Emma: I feel like something similar happened recently...

Azel: That doesn't matter. If you're not going to eat, I'll eat it all.

Emma: No way, don't take my share too!

I hurriedly snatched back the skewers when he tried to take them all.

Unlike in the beginning, our meals these days were often lively.

We would have trivial back-and-forths, laughing foolishly...

I knew this everyday life would end someday, but I wanted to soak in it for as long as possible.

Emma: Prince Azel… is he… trying to take his own life?

Screams, shouts of anger, cries, fear—all these mingled in the city, stirring the dry air.

The sounds of conflict could be heard not far away, and Tanzanite, which should have been protected by dreams and illusions, was crumbling.

In this nightmarish reality, only Kamal was smiling.

Her head wouldn't nod, nor would it shake.

The sound of my own heartbeat stuck to my ears, and sweat trickled down my cheeks.

Silvio: Hey, what's goin' on?

(Maybe I have more information than Prince Silvio right now.)

(That's how long I've been with Prince Azel.)

To answer his question, I gathered all the memories I had since coming to Tanzanite.

Everything I saw with my eyes and felt in my heart led me to the worst possible conclusion.

Emma: Perhaps Prince Azel is…

Emma: ...trying to give the people who can't live without a God a shock treatment.

Silvio: ...Huh?

*flashback*

Azel: Someone once said that humans are thinking reeds.

Azel: But those who have given up thinking for themselves are just reeds.

Azel: It's a fitting image for this country, where all the plants have withered and died.

*flashback over*

(Prince Azel was worried about the current distorted state of Tanzanite.)

(As long as there is a God, people will forever give up making their own choices and will not be able to move forward on their own.)

(But if the God were to physically disappear...)

(Only when they can no longer rely on a God will people finally awaken from the dream of mythology.)

Silvio: What are ya sayin'...? There's no way that bastard would engage in such selfless hypocrisy.

Silvio: Unlike you, he hates the words "for the sake of others" more than anything.

(...That part bothers me too.)

(Until a while ago, I even thought he might love poeple...)

*flashback*

Azel: If you want to say that God is a merciful being, don't make me laugh.

Azel: I don't care what happens to ordinary people.

Azel: ...The people say they love God.

Azel: They think they can do whatever they want using "love" as a shield.

Azel: That's why I will never love anyone.

*flashback over*

(The more I hear, the less reason I see for Prince Azel to be able to love anyone.)

(Could a God who has served people to the point of degrading himself as a slave truly wish for their happiness?)

Silvio: It's easier to believe he's "fakin' his death to seek freedom."

Silvio: His unusual greed for money might have been to raise funds for his eventual departure, right?

Emma: ...If that were the case, would there be a need to cause such a big commotion?

Emma: Besides, Prince Azel's appearance would stand out in other countries too.

Emma: Even if he could disguise his hair color, there's no way to hide those eyes.

Emma: Even if he faked his death and escaped, there's a high chance he'd be found.

Silvio: The country that sheltered him would be pickin' a fight with Tanzanite. Your point makes sense.

Silvio: Even if we argue here, we won't find the answer in the end.

Silvio: Not unless we catch that bastard and interrogate him.

(As Prince Silvio said, it seems the only thing to do now is to question Prince Azel.)

(...The more time passes, the more likely my guess will become reality...)

I put on the bag Kamal gave me and started walking towards the back of the alley.

Silvio: Are ya really goin'?

Emma: I can't just be driven out like this without an explanation.

Silvio: What happens to him has nothin' to do with ya, right?

(Prince Azel also used to say "It has nothing to do with me" at every opportunity.)

(Certainly, once I leave Tanzanite, he might become no more than a casual acquaintance, but...)

Emma: ––When I was burdened with debt, I told Prince Azel...

*flashback*

Emma: Even if I'm in debt, I will say no to things I don't like.

Emma: Don't think I'll just obey everything you say.

*flashback over*

Emma: If I really become subservient to a God, then I'm truly a slave.

Emma: That's why I have to go and clearly tell him what I don't like.

(When I think that I might never see Prince Azel again...)

(It becomes so painful that I almost forget how to breathe.)

Kamal didn't stop me as I moved forward with determination.

Silvio: ...Tch, that broke bastard, I'll squeeze him dry when I see him next.

It seemed Prince Silvio was coming with me, and he lined up beside me.

Emma: Thank you very much.

Silvio: You owe me one too, ya know?

Emma: I'll definitely pay you back.

(I will definitely catch that cowardly God.)

Silvio: ––Well, I imagined it, but...

Silvio: It's completely empty, huh?

What awaited us when we returned to the temple was an eerie silence, so profound that it made this morning's events seem like a fleeting illusion.

Just like the other day, we searched the temple thoroughly, but he was nowhere to be found.

(The left corridor is blocked by rubble, and there's no sign that Prince Azel removed it.)

He might be hiding somewhere in the vast desert, or somewhere in the city, but without any clues, it would be difficult to track him down.

(It's impossible to avoid being seen on the only road leading from the city to the castle.)

(That means it's unlikely that Prince Azel is in the castle, so I think it's either the city or the temple.)

(...Maybe the tourist firm he took me to before is a possibility.)

(But, since he threw out my bag from the temple, Prince Azel must be avoiding me...)

(In that case, he might be in a place I would never think of.)

(...Coward. Are you fine with this becoming a bad debt?)

Silvio: Woman, we've got a problem.

(.....?)

With a click of his tongue, Prince Silvio looked towards where a shadow was approaching us with a leisurely gait.

(The apostle....)

Apostle: Lady Emma, you were here after all.

The High Priest wore the same unchanging smile, betraying no hint of the attack in the city, as he stopped before us with several guards.

His air of benevolence, even in this state of emergency, was rather eerie.

(Having heard the story of Prince Azel's brother, I'm even more on guard than before.)

Silvio: The God aint' here.

Apostle: Is that so? ...I thought as much.

Apostle: The Living God can foresee the future. He's probably hiding himself within an illusion to protect himself.

Apostle: It's my fault that such a non-believer appeared in the city...

Apostle: I wanted to confirm the safety of the Living God with my own eyes, but this is troubling.

(The apostle probably wants Prince Azel to quell the unrest in the city.)

(By any means necessary.)

(...)

(...Did you really come to look for Prince Azel?)

Even though he knew Prince Azel wasn't here, the apostle didn't seem flustered. There was no sign of him rushing off to another location.

Apostle: Lady Emma and Prince Silvio are also looking for the Living God, aren't you?

Apostle: But neither we nor you have any idea where he might be.

Apostle: It would be impossible to find the Living God if we just wander around blindly like this.

Apostle: So, if you don't mind, could you lend me your strength?

Silvio: ...How specifically?

Apostle: There's only one way to summon the Living God.

The apostle's gaze didn't leave me. His clinging, unpleasant stare made my breath tremble.

Apostle: Lady Emma is the only one who has received the divine favor of God.

Apostle: The Living God is merciful, so he surely wouldn't ignore it if something were to happen to that woman.

(...!)

Silvio: You...

As Silvio immediately reached for his sword, the apostle raised both hands. The way he surrendered, just like Prince Azel, made their blood relation undeniable.

Apostle: I apologize if I caused a misunderstanding. Of course, I won't harm Lady Emma.

Apostle: Just having you here with me is enough.

(......Not good at all.)

Emma: ...Are you going to exploit Prince Azel's trauma?

(The fear instilled in him when his brothers were tortured...)

A low voice, the likes of which I had never uttered before, escaped my lips. The apostle, who had kept his expression masked, showed a slight change for the first time.

Apostle: The Living God has truly opened his heart to Lady Emma.

Apostle: To think you know about that painful divine punishment...

Emma: ...Painful?

(He did it himself, so why can he talk about it like it's someone else's business?)

Apostle: I am a servant of the Living God. Every single action I take is dedicated to God.

Apostle: I have never wished to torment him. That's why it's painful.

(...)

(...This might be the first time I've ever wanted to punch someone this badly.)

I suppressed the violent urge and told myself to stay calm.

Even if I explained my anger to the apostle, it would be meaningless.

(If I cooperate with the apostle, I might be able to find Prince Azel and avoid the worst-case scenario.)

(If we only look at the goal, we can work together... but...)

Emma: Regarding your previous proposal, I must decline.

Emma: It would truly pain me to summon Prince Azel using such cowardly tactics.

My heart couldn't accept it no matter what.

Apostle: ...I shall respect your compassionate heart.

Apostle: I must think of another method.

(...To think he'd back down so easily.)

(I thought he might resort to force...)

While maintaining his smile, the apostle turned to a male cleric beside him.

Apostle: Please summon Enis to the sanctuary.

Apostle: Just tell him I wish to discuss the future.

(No––...! It's no different, the hostage has just changed from me to Enis!)

Apostle: Now then, we shall take our leave.

Apostle: If you happen to see the Living God, could you tell him to come to the sanctuary?

Apostle: I'm so worried about where he is and what he's doing now...

(With a kind face, he's cruel to the core...)

(Come to think of it, Clavis did say...)

*flashback*

Clavis: The gatherings that the apostle holds regularly... when you lift the lid, it's a workshop for manufacturing fanatics.

Clavis: Today's riot was probably also caused by some of those fanatics.

*flashback over*

(...The apostle will stop at nothing to protect his faith.)

(If King Enis is captured by the apostle now, it will be disastrous.)

Emma: Apostle....!

The hand I extended to stop him was easily grabbed and blocked.

—Not by Prince Silvio, nor the apostle, but by Kamal, who appeared as if emerging from the sandstorm.

Emma: Kamal---

Kamal: Old man, I'm disappointed to see you looking so well, truly.

(………… Huh?)

For the first time, words were spun from Kamal's lips, which shouldn't be able to make a sound.

More than the content itself... I was so shocked, it was like being punched in the gut, leaving me gaping.

I wasn't the only one surprised; the smile disappeared from the apostle's face as well.

Kamal: Oh my, what's with that stupid look? I wanted to see it with Azel.

Apostle: ...Why...?

Kamal: Why? You're saying strange things.

Kamal: I've always been on my cute little brother's side. Unlike our crazy old man.

The voice coming from the bewitching beauty was unexpectedly deep.

Silvio: That face... You weren't told?

Silvio: Kamal is that broke bastard's brother.

(Prince Azel's... brother!?)

Romantic Ending Ch. 21 His Side Story

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

#ikepri azel #ikemen translations #ikemen prince translations #azel #azel radwan #azel radwan main route #ikemen prince azel radwan #ikepri jp #cybird otome

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vandal-flower · 3 days ago

Text

Saying Something Stupid, like I Love You

Poseidon x Amphitrite!Reader

Requested. @amphitriteswife

Plot: Poseidon faces a dilemma concerning his love life. Reluctantly accepting their help, he plans to make things right with (Name). Thankfully she is lonely on New Year's and needs all the company she can get.

Warnings: Poseidon is bad at feelings but it works out, angst but a happy end.

Notes: Happy new year. Here is my gift. 🐚

"You've been an awful mood lately.", Zeus teased, raking his beard as he chuckled.

His brother, Poseidon didn't dare to say anything, but instead glared at him. Not that it would do much anyways.

"Look I was right Hades! Doesn't he look like a pouting child!", at this point Poseidon nearly summoned his trident just to skewer his brother, not caring for the consequences at hand.

But before he could, Hades smacked Zeus's head, "Quit your teasing Zeus, but you do have a point. Brother what is going on with you, did something happen?", Hades glanced over at the ruler of the seas with a look of concern.

In all his years, not once did Hades ever see Poseidon be so...off. Sure he is arrogant, but he has the power to back it up. But now, he looks as if he is distressed. This whole week he has been.

From what he heard, he has been ignoring meetings with his fellow godlike beings, causing unnecessary problems, ignoring his duties on Olympus, and at one point nearly flooded the whole of Olympus when asked about it.

Since that incident, no one has been able to tell him to stop, out of fear of being killed.

"It's nothing you should concern yourself. I'm perfectly fine."

If there was anything that Hades knew better than anyone else, it was that Poseidon was a terrible liar.

Zeus sneaked behind Poseidon's chair, "Let me take a guess."

"You need my help but you don't want to admit it."

"I would never require the assistance of someone like you."

"You accidentally broke your trident and now you're throwing a fit."

"Should I smite you with said 'broken trident' Zeus?"

"Is it concerning Amphitrite?", Hades asked, breaking the dispute between his younger brothers.

Poseidon was silent. Bingo.

Zeus's laugh filled the room as Hades chuckled at the sudden realization. Poseidon has been having love problems. Should news of Poseidon's love life ever go out, the Heavens would fall apart. Maidens and potential suitors would have their dreams shattered.

Realizing he could not get out of this mess, Poseidon, reluctantly, have a brief summary of his situation.

Amphitrite or (Name), has been distancing herself from him as of late. Everytime he approached her, she would throw some reason to excuse herself. No longer could he see her glowing dark skin under the sun, or the moonlight. Stare into her eyes that put the beauty of various beings to shame. He could no longer be held by her, or even listen to her enchanting voice.

In short, he could no longer be with her.

"I never thought you would be a lovesick fool Poseidon. Never thought they day would come.", Zeus joked earning another glare from Poseidon.

"It makes sense, you have been a temper tantrum. I should've stopped your habit if I knew it was going to be this bad.", Hades said, a smile growing on his face as he too teased the King of the Seas.

Poseidon hated the reaction he received from his brothers. They were making fun of him, and had it not been for the fact that they're his most trusted pupils, he would of ended their lives swiftly long time ago.

Soon, Hades collected himself, and Zeus followed suit. "So do you want our help or not, lover boy Poseidon?", Zeus nudged Poseidon, further agitating him.

With no other option, Poseidon answered a begrudgingly "yes".

The aftermath of Christmas lingers as festive lights and decorations all around the Heavens. With the new year, brought new beginnings and although it was meant to bring joy, it had only brought more sadness to (Name).

Seeing all the couples walking around with each other in arms, or buying more fireworks to celebrate the new years at their parties. Not to mention, a sculpture of Zeus dressed up in a tuxedo with Hera beside him with a glamorous dress to showcase her beauty. How great...

As much as she wished to climb into the arms of her friends to get rid of her feelings, she couldn't. With the following reasons...

Her nymph friends were trying to get a chance to be with gods like Apollo.

Persephone was visiting Hades in the Underworld or her mother on the Overworld.

Other friends of hers were visiting family or too busy.

Nonetheless, she was alone. She sighed to herself, the cold wind gently blowing against her face."For a bright and lively season like this, you don't like you're having much fun."

(Name) perplexed at the sudden voice, turned around to see Hermes. "Happy New Year to you Hermes. Any deliveries you should be attending to?", she looked at him with suspicion. Hermes smiled wider than usual.

"No reason.", he spoke. "However if I were you, I would go to the beach to calm all my worries." He pointed towards the beach, his smile not faltering not once. (Name) frowned at his words.

Sure, the beach would be great. Sand under her feet, and a chance to relax in the cool waters. However it reminded her of Poseidon.

Something told her that he doesn't like her presence as he hardly ever responded to what she says, only answering with a nod or a hum. And with his cold attitude, it only made sense he didn't think much of her or at all. The guilt of wasting his and her time ate her inside.

So to avoid making the situation worse, she distanced herself. Sure it hurts, but it's the thought that counts.

"Any reason for you to say that? In fact, why don't you mind your business, go run errands somewhere. I'm busy.", she waved off his suggestion and continued walking.

"Oh, but you have to. Poseidon ordered for your presence. And if word got out that you rejected the Poseidon himself, what would the Heavens make of you?"

Damn. He made a good point.

With no other choice, (Name) changed course and walked towards the beach. Not without cursing Hermes.

"So...you wanted my presence, Lord Poseidon?", (Name) asked. Before her was a dinner table and multiple decorations: seashells, corals, and lights. Donned in a fine suit with a small flower in the chest pocket, was the King of the Seas with his signature cold gaze. In his hands held a bouquet.

"I would like to take you to dinner.", he answered as she still tried to process the situation. This was all too much! The dinner table, decorations, and the flowers?

It would have been anyone's dream to experience was the scene right in front of her eyes, but not her. She avoided Poseidon like the plague only for him to ask for her and present her with dinner? Romantic as it is, it seemed suspicious...

"But, why? You clearly don't like my presence, so why the sudden change, AND why did you feel the need to plan a romantic dinner?!"

His eyes glanced at a rock that hid both Hades and Zeus, the duo gave him a thumbs up. He glared at them before turning his attention back to (Name). "I wanted to make you feel special, and...to apologize for my behaviour towards you."

If there was one thing the King of the Seas was not good at doing was apologies, however it was always genuine whenever he was backed into a corner to apologize.

"Apologize?"

"Yes."

Internally, (Name) clutched her pearls. Poseidon the King of the Seas, most feared Olympian, apologizing?! "It must be a dream", she thought.

Poseidon took a deep breath, silently cursing his brothers, " (Name), for the past weeks that I was away from your presence, I had the opportunity to contemplate my actions towards you."

"Every time you make some pathetic excuse to avoid me, it...breaks my heart to see you go. Your presence makes living more tolerable, since I'm surrounded by a circus.", Zeus gasped is shock at his comment, had it not been for Hades stopping him, he would have ruined the moment.

"You are more enchanting than the stars themselves, your voice eases my heart, and even if I were to give you a thousand compliments today and ten thousand tomorrow, it would still not be enough to describe how I truly feel about you."

Despite the cold look on his face, his cheeks and ears were dusted with pink. His eyes held a hidden warmth only meant for her. He walked towards (Name), holding the bouquet of forget-me-nots to her. It looked like he wanted to propose to her.

"But why, do this all for me, why do you want me?", (Name) asked, tears about to spill from her eyes. Poseidon sighed, "Because I love you."

Zeus and Hades popped their heads from behind the rock, eyes wide open. To hear their Poseidon actually say he loves someone was a miracle of itself.

Time had stood still for a moment between (Name) and Poseidon. Without realizing, tears had already started streaming down her face. Closing the distance from the two, Poseidon wiped her tears away with his thumbs. (Name) pressed her forehead against his, her eyes looking into his own.

"I appreciate the view, allowing me to see your eyes closely once more.", he whispered causing a smile to form on her face. She wrapped her arms around his waist, before giving him a kiss on the lips. As she pulled away, she rested her hands on his cheeks.

"Come back to my palace, there's a new collection of pearls and other accessories that I believe would suit you."

"I would love to, my dearest."

The two entered the ocean together, Poseidon in the arms of (Name), and (Name) telling him of her latest adventures. Once the two were gone, Zeus and Hades left their hiding spot.

"Well that turned out better than I anticipated.", the King of the Heavens smiled. "But what to do about the dinner setup?", Hades questioned.

The two stopped and thought about, "I'll just use it as an apology to Hera, after we had our argument the other day.", Zeus said.

"You are really shameless."

Happy new years!!

Sorry if Poseidon is ooc, but we deserve a soft Poseidon at least once in a while...

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #snv poseidon #ror poseidon #snv poseidon x reader #ror poseidon x reader #vandal-flower

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miizuzu · 2 days ago

Text

Once Upon a Dream Part 2

“Please babe! Don't be like this. I'm sorry!” Satoru was begging for your forgiveness.

You kept questioning him about what the girl at the sweet shop said and he finally confessed. “So everything that happened was not by chance. How did you even know where I was?” You were confused, all the loving feelings you had for Satoru had developed into something else; uncertainty.

“I might have followed you home and broke in and planted a bug on you…?” Satoru was coming clean, he didn't want you to be angry at him. “That's wrong on so many levels Satoru!” the colors on your face were drained and you started shivering from what he revealed to you.

Satoru sees your nervous and scared expressions and his heart felt like it was being torn apart. He tried to reach for you but you backed away from him. He felt his heart sink to his stomach as you backed away from him.

“Baby, please! I need you, I can't live without you anymore.” Satoru starts begging again. All you feel is disgust at this point, you need to get away, you don't know how you should process the truth.

“I need to get out of here.” You turned as you began to run. Only to be stopped by Satoru pulling on your wrist. “Nooo!!! Let go!!” You panicked, using your full force to try and break free from him. Satoru let's go right away, he didn't want to scare you further but his body just acted on its own.

“Please don't follow me, I need some time.” You said to him with tears threatening to spill, running off to God knows where, just wanted to get away from Satoru.

Satoru could only watch you disappear into the distance, he couldn't risk himself scaring you any further. He knows he cannot follow you, he couldn't even listen in on you through the bug since he was supposed to be by your side and thought he wouldn't need it. He felt devastated, his only saving grace was you didn't break up with him right there, yet. He's really hoping it does not come to that.

You weren't sure how long you've been running, all you know is you had to get away from Satoru. Your feelings were all jumbled up, you couldn't tell if you actually love him or was it just manipulation from Satoru. You couldn't believe the things he did to get close to you, you felt sick to the stomach. You end up throwing up, most of it landing on you coat. You were feeling hopeless and alone, feeling disgusted with your puke all over yourself.

You were walking down the street and people were looking at you funny, you saw a place that does dry cleaning and decided to go in and get your coat washed and to collect yourself.

You were greeted by a huge figure with red eyes and pink hair, you feel intimidated. The man could see you had been crying and saw the mess on your coat, he reached his hand out to you, and only said a single word. “Coat.”

You took your dirty coat off and handed it to him, nodded his head to the side, telling you there were seats you could use to wait as he gets it cleaned. He could see how shaken up you were and he wasn't going to ask you any questions. You headed over to the seats and sat there as you lifted your knees and hug them like you were trying to protect yourself.

He was searching your coat pockets for items you might have forgotten when he found the bug planted by Satoru, he looked over to you for a second when furrowed brows but decided to just throw it out without letting you know.

Your thoughts were running wild, trying to figure out what you should do, you know you didn't want to go home, you didn't want Satoru to find you but you weren't sure where you should go. The front door opens and you could hear a familiar voice, “Y/N?” You look up and see Choso, walking over to you as he look at you worried. “Choso? What are you doing here?” You no longer believe in fate, you think everyone is after you, you curled up into a defensive position. “My uncle runs this place. Are you ok??” Choso was so worried, he could see the tear stains on your cheeks.

“Yeah, I'm ok… I threw up on myself.” You didn't want to tell him about what happened between you and Satoru. You thought that was something personal and you should bother others with it. “Where's your boyfriend? Did you have a fight?” Choso continues with the questions you didn't really want to answer anymore. “Yeah… something like that, I don't want to talk about it right now.” He could sense that you were about to cry again so he stopped asking you things.

“My brother is off work and will be here soon, he has some desserts on him, I'm sure it could cheer you up!” Choso tried his best to calm you down the best way he could think of. As if it was right on que, a teen with pink hair comes walking in through the door. You realized he was the kid who helped you at the dessert place.

You were feeling sick again from the reminder that you and Satoru were just there not too long ago. The older man saw your face turned and threw a bucket at Choso for you to use.

“I'm so sorry about that, I'm not feeling well.” You excused yourself. “I guess you do feel really bad since you missed work. Do you want me to take you home?” Choso offered, “Wait, you live by yourself right? Who's going to look after you if you're not well?” Choso is such a worry wart when it comes to you, he is madly in love with you but you never noticed. “Sakuna, can she stay with us instead? We have spare rooms at home. Then we could watch over her till she gets better.”

Sakuna looked at Choso then to you, he could tell that you were the girl he was crushing on and decided to help his nephew out. “I guess. Her coat is almost clean, so we can go home early.” Sakuna walked to the back to get things ready.

“Choso, that would be too much trouble, I don't want to bother you.” Even though you don't want to go home, you don't want to bother your co-worker. “I'll feel better knowing you aren't by yourself.” Choso smiles at you and you sighed and agreed.

Arriving at Choso’s place, he led you into the spare room, gave you a spare change of clothes and asked if you would like to wash up before dinner. He also asked what you would like to eat, said he could make or order it for you. You told him anything is fine and that you do wish to shower, since you did throw up on yourself.

Choso watches as you step out of the bathroom with his clothes loosely hanging on your figure, all his blood rushing down south, he quickly hands you the food he prepped and confined himself in his room. You thanked him for making you some heartily soup which was easy for your stomach, you finished the food and cleaned the dishes and went back into the spare room prepared for you.

You finally settled down looking towards your bag, you decided to check your phone. You weren't shocked to see hundreds of miss calls and texts from Satoru, you checked the text and it was him apologizing and wanting to know where you are.

You were not sure if you wanted to reply to him, you were not sure if you could forgive him. You couldn't help but think this whole relationship just happened because Satoru manipulated you into it. You weren't sure if you actually really loved Satoru or was it just your body trained by him to want him.

Satoru was worried, he got home and tried to listen in on you through the bug but it had gone radio silence, he rushed to your place to find all the lights off and you were not home yet. He kept calling and texting you hoping for a miracle that you would pick up, right now he just wants to know that you're safe. He sat by your front door and decided to call again, and this time the line miraculously went through.

You didn't speak but the line definitely was picked up, he could hear you breathing and he finally was able to call himself.

“Y/N?”

“...”

“I'm sorry, I know what I did is wrong… it's just… I love you too much. I've fallen in love with you since the moment you gave me the desserts. I've been desperately trying to find you but when I did, I didn't know how to approach you.”

“...”

“Please, I'm not asking you to forgive me right away, just give me another chance. I'll make sure I change! I won't do anything that will make you uncomfortable. I just want to know you're safe.”

“... I'm safe, I'm spending the night at my friend's place. Please give me time, I… I need to figure out something.”

“... Alright, but… can I see your face one more time before we hang up? Please??? I just want to see you safe.”

“...”

You hesitated, but decided to change the call to a video call. Satoru changed it the second he saw you so you could see him too. He looked warned out, but has a soft smile now that he sees you. You felt a squeeze in your heart when you saw his tired eyes, your heart is telling you to forgive him right away but your brain is telling you no.

“Good night, Satoru.”

“Good night, my love.”

You hung up the call, hugging your phone while deciding what you wanted to do. You want to talk to someone about it and maybe they could offer you some advice? But who could you talk to? You didn't have a lot of friends, most of them are your co-workers and you're not sure if you should tell them about your personal life.

You decided to go down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, you walked past the living room and saw Sakuna watching TV while sipping on his beer. The 2 of you nodded your heads in acknowledgement and you went to get your water. You remember Choso calling him uncle but he doesn't look that much older, 7 or 8 years older at most. You kind of want to ask him for advice, since he's older (and maybe wiser) and he sees you hovering.

“Come sit brat, stop hovering.” Sakuna clicked his tongue in annoyance, you quickly went around and sat down on the sofa, leaning against the armrest. You keep peeking at him and he sees you at the corner of his eye. “What is it? Spill.” Sakuna closes his eyes as he rubs his temple.

“Well… I have this friend…”

“I know you're talking about yourself, so cut the crap and get to the point.”

You felt flustered, this is the first time someone is being so straightforward to you, it kind of feels refreshing. “If you find out your lover has been doing things behind your back to get you to… um you know… what would you do?” You blushed hard as you turned your face away. Sakuna raised an eyebrow and thought for a second, “What kind of things? Like lying?” He remembers about the bug from your coat and could tell your lover is kind of a control freak.

“Something like that… making you believe it was fate that brought you together but it was actually all an act…” you kept your head down, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Do you think you are simply manipulated?” Sakuna sinks back into the couch as his attention slowly shifts back to the TV as he sips more of his beer.

“I'm not sure? At least I don't think I am.” You tried your hardest to think of any other time that someone else has tried to manipulate you.

“I told you to sit down and you complied right away. That doesn't sound very convincing.” Sakuna scoffs. “That's because!!! I wanted to see if you could give me some advice!” You started pouting, Sakuna could see why his nephew likes you, you were very interesting and had a cute face especially when you pout.

“You sure? Feels like you would hop onto my lap if I told you to.” He chuckles as he leans towards you. Your eyes widened as you jumped out of your seat, backing away from him. He laughs, “Relax. I'm only kidding.” he leans back to his seat.

You had enough of talking and wanted to get back to the room. You thanked him as you walked and Sakuna just waved it off.

You decided to sleep early, since you wanted to go home in the morning to change before going to work. You lay there, looking at pictures of you and Satoru together, you think you do love him and that you miss him, but you don't want to easily forgive him. You fell asleep while thinking of a way to get back at him.

In the morning, Choso wanted to go with you but you insisted that you wanted to go by yourself and that you've already bothered him enough, plus you weren't sure if Satoru was going to be there or not. You felt a ping of disappointment when you arrived home and saw that Satoru was not there, even though you were not going to let him off easy. You got yourself ready and went to work. Satoru had not messaged you yet, honoring his promise about giving you time, but he did send you a big bouquet of blue roses which all the female co-workers envy.

A week had passed and you were receiving bouquets everyday, people noticed the 2 of you hadn't been eating lunch together and were starting rumors that you broke up with him and he's trying to get you back.

You called Satoru during your lunch break and he picked up right as the line went through.

“Y/N!! You finally called! I've missed you so much! I wanted to come see you so badly but I wasn't sure if you were still mad or if you even wanted to see me…” he was going to keep talking your ear off but you cut him off.

“Satoru, stop sending flowers to my work, you are bothering my coworkers and I have no space to put them. If you think getting me flowers will make me forgive you then you're wrong.” You sighed.

“I know, I know… it's just, I don't want you to forget about me. I want you to know I'm always thinking of you. Please forgive me babe. I'm hitting my limits, I need to see you.” Satoru begs.

“We can meet up, but with one condition.”

“I'll do it no matter what it is!!”

“Give me Nanami’s contact information.”

“What??! Why would you need that?”

“Gojo. You said anything.”

“Omg! Ok! Ok!!! Just don't call me by my last name again, I think I'm going to throw up.”

“Give me his info and I will let you know where we will meet.”

“Fine… I'll send it…”

“I have to go back to work now, I will message you later.” You hung up before he could say anything else.

Satoru was worried, why did you want Nanami's number? Do you want to break up with Satoru and then get together with Nanami? Satoru felt sick in the stomach as he glared at Nanami, who noticed but ignored Satoru.

“Hey Nanamin, my girlfriend Y/N is wondering if she could have your number. Can I give it to her?” Satoru was hoping Nanami would say ‘why would she need that?’ or a simple ‘no’, but he agreed instead and pulled out his phone and asked Satoru for your number instead. He blinked and hesitated but ended up giving your number to Nanami.

Nanami looked at Satoru, he was acting very jittery and nervous which made Nanami raise his brow in question. He starts texting you.

“Hi Y/N, this is Nanami. I heard from Gojo that you wanted my contact information. Is there something you need?”

Satoru was nervous, why did you want to talk to Nanami? What if you wanted to tell Nanami all the things he did to you and wanted to get him arrested? Satoru was pathetically panicking and didn't notice Nanami snapping a picture and sending it to you.

“Hi Nanami! Yes I was wondering if you could help me keep an eye on Satoru. We had a bit of a fight and… just wanted to make sure he's ok.”

“I see. That explains why he's acting like this right now.”

Nanami sends you the picture of Satoru. And you couldn't help but giggle. Satoru watches Nanami text you and he suddenly lets out a soft smile. Nanami smiling????? What are the two of you talking about? It's bothering Satoru to no end. He starts throwing a tantrum, lifting things just to slam it down and Nanami had this all recorded and sent to you.

Nanami stands up now, and Satoru blinks at him. “I'm going to go do my rounds.” Nanami walks towards the direction of the door. “Wait! I'm coming too!” Satoru quickly follows. The 2 men were patrolling around and were walking towards your work place. Satoru was excited to see you. He had a legit reason if you did notice him and you couldn't get mad at him.

With your work building in view, Satoru already spotted you. You were walking with Choso following you closely. Satoru was already feeling annoyed at how close he was standing behind you, it instantly became worse when the person walking in front of you stumbled which pushed you right into Choso's embrace. Satoru was waiting for you to move away from Choso as his hands clutch into fists, you didn't move away, or you couldn't, since your hair got caught on Choso's buttoned shirt. Satoru could only watch silently as Choso caressed your soft hair to try and untangle you from him. You couldn't see Choso’s face but he was blushing with a huge smile on his face.

Satoru was seeing red. He wanted to rush in and punch Choso for touching what belonged to him. Satoru knows if he shows up in front of you like that you would end things with him for sure, so he swallowed it down, fist clenched so hard his nails cut through a shallow layer of his palm.

You noticed Choso had been more direct with you after spending the night at his place. You didn't think much of it, but you do notice his reaction every time Satoru's flowers would arrive, he would always be a bit more gloomy than normal.

You decided to fulfill your promise to Satoru for Nanami's number, you left work and headed to the dessert shop. You texted Satoru for him to meet you there,

You thought it would be fitting since everything started here. Within 10 minutes Satoru burst through the entrance, his smile so bright as he rushed over to your table and sat down and reached for your hands on the table before you pulled away, his smile fades instantly and turns into a pout.

“I am willing to give you another chance, but you have to follow my rules.” You’ve thought about it for a while now and you do want to be with him, but not without some payback.

“Omg yes! Yesyesyesyes!! Anything!” Satoru is beaming again. Awaiting what you were about to tell him.

“First, I want you to give me your location at all times. I don't want you stalking me ever again.”

“Done.” He pulls his phone out and turns on and leaves in his location for you.

“Second, you're not allowed to touch me unless I say it's ok.”

Satoru hesitated for a second, he thought it was only fair from how much he did without your knowledge.

“Okay. I promise.”

“Lastly, do not hide anything from me again or I will never forgive you.”

“I wouldn't dare hide anything from you anymore. Everything that's mine is now yours.”

“Remember what you promised me, Satoru.” You finally smiled at him and he felt like he's melting. He wanted to hug you so badly and you could see he's restraining himself, you walked over and hugged him only for him to bear hug you back. “Can I kiss you?” Satoru asks, you could feel him shaking from trying to hold back. You pound at his chest lightly, and hide your face in his chest, you felt embarrassed even though you were the first to get up and hugged him. “Not in here. Too many people.” People were starting to stare and Yuji saw you and wanted to wave to you but ended up staying quiet and just smiled.

“Let's buy some desserts and head out?” Satoru suggested. You nodded and he held out his hand, waiting for you to hold his hand. You grabbed his hand and walked towards the counter and bought your desserts. You decided to grab some fast food to eat at home, you were struck by an idea and went into the supermarket and bought some frozen food to heat up at home while Satoru waited outside.

When you got home, Satoru waited outside the door, not sure if he was allowed in, acting like a kicked puppy. He was delighted when you told him to come inside. He sat down and waited patiently for you to prepare dinner but was confused when he saw what you prepared. You heated up a couple of corn dogs and brought over some ketchup and mayo.

“What? Am I not allowed to have corn dogs for dinner?”

“Of course you are, you could have anything you want. I would order anything for you. Just…” Satoru wasn't sure why you picked corn dogs. He couldn't finish his sentence as he watches you bring the corn dog to your lips, his eyes glued to your mouth while his mouth gaped open and swallowed air. He watches as your soft lips wrapped around the corn dog, mayo dripping at the corner of your mouth. You pushed the dripping mayo back into your mouth and he was rock hard. You brushed back your hair behind your ear with your free hand and Satoru was moaning. He thought you were so hot and he wished that corn dog was his cock right now. His hand was reaching for you, “Nuh uh uh~ You promised you wouldn't touch unless I say.” You shook a finger at him.

All he could do was helplessly gulp down air and try to calm down. You continue making out with the corn dog till Satoru was restless and whiny.

“That's not fair baby, I want to touch you. I want to make you feel good. Let me touch you please…” Satoru was begging, with his shiny baby blue puppy eyes, you thought for a second.

“Hmm, nope.” You placed your hand on his thigh, and slowly moved closer and closer towards his hard throbbing boner in his pants, he was leaking so much pre-cum you could see it through his pants. You finished the corn dog without him realizing, too focused on your hands and how soft they feel. He wants to rip his pants off but he couldn't since he rushed to you still in his uniform.

You got up and walked towards your room, pausing at the doorway to hint Satoru to follow. He was gleaming again and quickly got up from the chair to run towards you. You stopped him just as he was about to hug you. “Satoru, I didn't say you could touch me yet.” He's pouting again. Pretty sure he's about to get a mental breakdown from the mood swings.

You wrapped your arm around him and found what you were looking for. You took his handcuffs and turned him towards the bed before pushing him down. “Strip for me, Satoru.” He kept his eyes on you as he quickly got out of his uniform, he only had his boxers left. “Since you kept trying to touch me without my permission, you need to be punished.” You dangle and swing the handcuffs in front of his face.

You could tell he was getting excited, you could see his cheeks getting redder by the second, his boxer is soaked and his pre is seeping through the fabric. You made him scoot back and cuffed his wrists to your bed frame. You wrapped a piece of cloth on each of his wrist just so he wouldn't hurt himself even if he struggles.

You started kissing him, and he responded back, you were licking his lips and he parted his mouth for you, sucking in your tongue as he moaned. He missed kissing you but you pulled away shortly after, making him whine again. “No babe, that's not enough, I want to kiss you more.” His eyes were so dilated his pupils almost looked black except a fine ring of baby blue. You started kissing down his neck, marking him as you do, his moans were feeling up the room. He is grinding his hips and thrusting slowly towards the air.

Your hands are on his tone chest, sliding down so very slowly, Satoru though this must be the most effective way to torture someone. Your fingers brushed against his nipples and he twitched and started breathing with an open mouth. His chest rising and sinking at a fast pace. “Your hands are so soft… play with me more. I'm yours. Do what you want with me.” You didn't say anything, you just looked him in the eyes as your hands touched him.

Your hands stop at the waistband of his boxers, and he is eager to have you remove it for him. You stood up and he looked at you confused as he watched you walk towards your nightstand. You pulled out something and walked back towards him and straddled on his thighs. You kissed him again and when he got into the kiss, you blindfolded him.

“Huh?? Wait babe, I want to see you.” Take them off please…” Satoru couldn't see you and he couldn't touch you, he was getting extra whiny and very desperate. “‘Toru, you said I could do anything I want though. Are you backing out of your promise?” You make yourself sound like you were pouting and all he could do was just moan at how cute you sound and the nickname you called him. His wrists were starting to get red from him trying to break free, “please babe, let me touch. I'm begging you…” he starts whimpering. “Not until I'm satisfied.” Your hand reached down to palm his throbbing cock and he twitched again.

He could only listen to what you were doing, and he could tell you were starting to remove your own clothes. He couldn't tell how much you've taken off, he could only imagine how you looked as you straddle him. Suddenly you lower your pussy on him, causing him to cuss and hiss from the warm feeling but the thin layer of his boxer getting in the way. “No!! Take it off!!! Take it off!!!!” He's rutting his hips against you as much as he could, he's dying to feel you against him again without anything being in the way. He's whining so much it almost sounded like he was about to cry. He could hear you moaning and feel your slick soaking his boxers. He was dying for more of your touch, he wouldn't sit still. “Satoru!! Stop moving around so much! Nymph!” You cupped his cheeks with your hands and he's leaning into your palm as he whines. “Please… mmnh take them off… pleaseee…” he was actually crying, his tears soaking the blindfolds.

You didn't think you would actually make him cry, so you kissed his eyes over the blindfolds and moved to remove his boxers. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” He keeps repeating till he feels your wet entrance on his tip. “Omg fuck, pleasepleaseplease!!!” Satoru was losing his mind, he stopped making sense the moment he felt your wetness on him. “Please what, Toru?” You continue rubbing your entrance against his tip. “Let me fuck you!! I want to be inside you! I can't wait any longer!! Fuckkkkkkkk!!!!” He could feel you sinking down on his cock, he came so hard as your walls milk him, you thought you were going overboard but you came as his cock spills hot cum, painting your walls white.

You were slowing your movements and Satoru thrust his hips up against you, making you scream out in ecstasy. “No babe, don't mm, don't stop, keep going.” He was grunting and hissing, he was still stiff even after cumming so much. You heard a loud snapping sound and a second later, Satoru already had you flipped, back laying on your mattress as he pinned you down. He broke the chain between the cuffs and now has his hands on each side of your head as he pants, his cock throbs halfway inside your pussy.

He finally reached up and pulled the blindfolds down to his neck. He was waiting for you to give him the go ahead to touch you, his hand hovering above body but wouldn't dare to lay a finger on you.

“You can touch me, Satoru.” His lips instantly crash into yours, guiding your tongue into his mouth again as he sucks on the tiny muscle. His hands caress your breast and down your body, and once his hands get to your hips, he grabs you tightly and slams the rest of his cock deep inside you. You back arch, but you were still pinned under him. His not letting go of your tongue and lips, he fucks and moan into you like he had been starved of you. You couldn't even protest, your nails digging into his back. You could only feel his cock kissing your cervix with every thrust. Your mind was going blank from everything, feeling the delicious stretch as his thrusts gets faster but sloppier, his grunts getting louder and louder as he finally released his second load deep in your cunt as your own orgasm washed over you. There was so much of your combined liquid, it started leaking out even with his cock plugging you up.

Satoru finally pulls out of you, making both of you hiss, he pulls you into his embrace. “Never separate from me again… I promise I will do everything you say.” You snuggled against the crook of his neck and said,

“We’ll see.”

@haruhatake @baepsays

#jjk gojo #jjk smut #gojo smut #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk x reader

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edward-munson · 8 hours ago

Text

i'm right here - E.M. * Chapter Three

Warning: angst, slight mention of smut (MDI), mentions of the Upside Down, fluff

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem! Harrington reader

Word count: 6.4k

Previous Chapter

⋆˚✿˖°

You feel Eddie delicately hovering above you, one hand is cupping the side of your jawline, while the other one he uses to hold your waist. You're lying on his bed, both of you had just watched a movie, while eating some snacks and drinking wine. He rubs his thumb against your lower lip, licking his own when he notices how pink it looks under the moonlight.

His breath picks up when he decides to ghost his lips over yours, moving ever so slowly. You can't help but tug on his frizzy curly hair, it's fluffy and it feels nice to touch. When you feel his gentle peck, you close your eyes and savor the moment. It starts slow, and it burns your body.

The heat between your legs starts to grow as soon as he moves his hand from your waist and rests it over your thigh. His breath fans your mouth when he opens his mouth to finally kiss you. His tongue is hot, and it still tastes like the wine he was drinking. You grip the back of his hair and he hisses to your touch, groping and humping you. His hand starts to roam through your exposed skin, and it's inches from touching your heat.

Your underwear starts to bother you and you let out a raspy groan when both of your tongues finally touch. He moans under his breath and his crotch is almost touching against yours. Eddie shifts above you and finally uses one of his ringed fingers to feel your warmth and how wet you are under him.

It's the loud gasp that startles you from your dream, and you wake up feeling dizzy. It was just a dream.

"Shit" You mumble as you feel your heart racing. Your hands are trembling and you feel the sweat stream from your neck down to your chest.

Your legs are opened and you're definitely soaked. It felt so real, you could've sworn he was really there, touching you. As you get up from your bed, you go to the bathroom and wash up your face. This could help a little after that dream. You look at yourself in the mirror and it's like you just had sex. But you didn't, and it frustrates you that now you've gotten to the point of thinking about him even when you're dreaming.

After the gathering a few days ago at your house, you and Eddie weren't being awkward to each other anymore. You would have a small conversation during the class, and when you were sitting together during the breaks. He still seemed a little sad because of Chrissy, but looked better than he did weeks before.

You weren't sure if you should tell your brother, which doesn't seem like a good idea. Well, first because he's a guy. And second, because he's your brother. You just know how you're going to react when you're close to him, and it's going to be awkward again. You didn't want that to happen either.

So, now as you lean against the counter at Family Video, you tap your fingers incessantly over it waiting for Robin to digest what you had just told her. Steve isn't working today, so you use the opportunity to talk to her without him being nosy and inappropriate.

"So... you guys were going at it?" She asks and you nod. Robin nods and leans by your side "Wow. Munson would definitely freak out if he heard about that"

"I know. It would probably be completely weird to be around him at this point"

"Are you sure it was him? It could be, I don't know, Jonathan or that really cute guy from senior year" She tilts her head and ponders about the situation. You laugh.

"I only saw Jonathan like once, and I have no fucking idea who you're talking about" You knit your eyebrows playfully and she agrees, because you still don't know everyone from school. "It was definitely Eddie"

"Definitely me what?" Both you and Robin look astonished as he shows up unannounced behind you.

Your heart drops to your stomach as you take in his sight and you open your mouth, closing it as fast as you can. She clears her throat and gives him a nervous smile.

He's holding two tapes in his hands and looks at the two of you as he waits for a response. Eddie lifts his hands to show Robin he's returning the tapes and drops them at the counter.

"It was, uh– It was you who rented this movie! She wanted to get it as well" She picks up the first tape from the small pile and shakes it in front of you and him.

Your face scrunches up from her improvising, but he doesn't notice it.

He then looks at you and widens his eyes "Since when do you like Scarface?" Eddie seems interested in the thought of you liking these kinds of movies, but you have no idea what the hell it is about.

You shrug and look down at the tape, not wanting to stare at his eyes. It's going to remind you of your dream and you don't want to deal with that right now.

"I don't know, I can change my taste in movies. Right, Rob?" Your eyes throw daggers at her and she shrinks, slumping her shoulders, but still remaining in character.

"Yeah! Definitely, totally! I mean, I like romcoms a lot and Steve always tells me I should watch things like Terminator and shit like that" She starts to ramble and Eddie chuckles at her.

"Okay" He smiles while looking at you and shifts his weight as he looks at Robin next. You feel your cheeks burn under his stare and it's embarrassing "You want the full price or can I pay the rest next week?"

Robin agrees and takes his money, looking at you. She gives you a comforting smile, even though you feel nervous just by standing beside him. Eddie turns his face at you and smiles again.

You smile back at him, your stomach is flipping and you feel your hands sweating. Jesus, this is becoming so hard to stand. It feels as though you're a 12-year-old girl with a crush.

"If you're renting this one, you're welcome to watch with me if you want to" He points at the tape you're holding, his face showing his full grin at you.

You're still in a daze as you look at him, who waits for you to answer his invitation. He's leaning against the counter, while Robin is somewhere else. You chuckle nervously, pulling a strand of hair behind your ear as you hold the tape firmly in your hand, afraid it will fall off.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to Ed"

He mumbles a "great" and calls out Robin by her last name and she appears from one of the aisles. You just know she was waiting for your moment with him to end so she could show up. He thanks her for the service and greets both of you with a tap on the shoulders. Eddie takes a little longer as he rubs his fingers over your shirt and cocks his head when he says "see you".

"Oh my God, you lovebirds are watching a movie together!" She says it a little louder and does happy jumps like you're still in middle school.

You laugh at her reaction, even though you still feel a little nervous from your interaction with him. Robin says you were going to be fine, that it's okay to feel nervous when you like someone.

In fact, two days later you watched the movie and you were pretty sure you hated it for the most part. Especially because you couldn't focus entirely on the story, and Eddie made sure to pay attention even though he had watched it already. He explained scenes you didn't get, and even paused it when he was away from the TV because he still wanted to be there to watch it with you.

It was in the middle of it that you realized nothing was going to happen, so you tried to feel relaxed and stopped tensing up. He noticed you were nervous, though. When he hung his arm around the couch, barely touching your arms, he could feel how rigid they were and didn't try anything.

He was nervous, too. Eddie hasn't had any movie time with anyone since he started going out with Chrissy. And he barely watched movies with her because she always had an excuse to not see them with him. It was nice to have someone like you who would accept watching it even if you didn't like it. And you told him you didn't, he laughed and said it was okay. You tried to make him believe you really wanted to watch it because you were curious, but maybe he didn't fall for it.

He dropped you off at your house when Steve wasn't there and you almost invited him over. But what for? You were so edgy you couldn't even think of something you both could do besides watching a movie. So, you hopped off his van and said goodnight. He left a kiss on your forehead before that and it made your heart flutter. This time, he called you sweetheart.

It only made things worse. You didn't know how you would handle your feelings anymore.

Eddie watches over his shoulder as Jason leans against Chrissy while they're sitting at a table at the library. He's working his shift after school, placing a few books on the shelf. He didn't when they came in, but he noticed the giggling she was giving to her partner. When he looked over to his right, he saw them getting pretty close to each other, almost sharing a kiss.

He silently scoffed and rolled his eyes to the back of his head. He was trying to pretend it's not bothering him how they act when they're together in public and it annoys him. Eddie doesn't feel bad because of her anymore, he feels angry at her. He's angry that she wasn't honest with him and that she's just like Jason, only he never realized it before.

Steve spent about two minutes calling out his friend, snapping his fingers beside him but he didn't hear him. Eddie was too absorbed into his own thoughts.

"Eddie!"

"What?" He answered through gritted teeth, now finally turning his head to look at Steve.

"Would you stop looking at them?"

"Yeah, sure. They're just about to swallow each other's tonsils in front of people. But yeah, of course I can" He spits over a sarcastic tone.

Steve rolls his eyes, leaning against the shelf and slapping Eddie over his head. "Don't be so fucking dumb, dude"

"I'm just... angry at them. They're absolutely ridiculous. How did I never notice that before?"

Steve glances at him with a knowing look, because he knew Chrissy wasn't meant for him, he knew she wasn't good for his friend. But he didn't want to say anything because it wasn't his right to.

Your brother rests a hand on Eddie's shoulder, comforting him. "Let them be assholes together. You're good without her anyway"

He was right, Eddie was much better without the girl who said so much shit about him before.

Steve invites him to go camping later that night, saying your other friends are also gonna be there. He ponders for several seconds, knowing the lake still gives him shivers and it triggers him, even though it's not Lovers Lake.

"Is little Harrignton going too?" He asks about you and Steve chuckles at how he calls you.

"Yeah, she will"

It makes Eddie nervous to know you're going to be there too. You've never seen him being vulnerable over something so terrifying before, even though he had to deal with his dad doing drugs and leaving him. He got over it.

But the fact he's still remembering the Upside Down and the gate deep in the lake makes his skin crawl and he clenches his jaw at the thought of it. He knows you're a little familiar with the story, but he doesn't want you to know the aftermath of it.

It's the fact that it's so hard for him to deal with, that he thinks no one deserves to deal with that either.

And so it happens. He's trapped in the blue looking Hawkins from the Upside Down. He watches from a distance when the vines from the floor wrap you and pull you down without struggling. Steve is right behind you, screaming your name as he sees Vecna floating above you. Robin tries to shoot flames at him but it only makes him stronger.

One small movement and the Demobats start flying towards Eddie. Not all of them, but a good amount of them. They immediately bite into his skin, ripping off his flesh as he screams louder than he can. Steve doesn't know where he goes. He's in the middle of the fight, deciding what he should do.

"Just go! Go save her! I'm out" Eddie yells. His breath is shaky and he tries to breathe but it's impossible.

And listens to himself screaming painfully as he sees the town crumble to ashes before his eyes. Another bite rips his skin off and he gasps, his throat burns from inside out.

You flinch when he's yelling and your first instinct is to wake him up. Eddie sat up straight, holding a pocket knife against your neck. If it wasn't for your reflex of holding his forearm, he would've stabbed you right there.

Shocked, you looked at him with widened eyes and whispered his name. "It's just me, Eddie. It's me"

His eyes are a mixture of dread, panic and relief. Even though you'd say yes, actually desperate as well, seeing what he was about to do.

You both look at each other panting, eyes fixed and still holding up the knife he was about to drop on the floor.

You hear the noise, he's shaking when he holds tight on your jawline and pulls you for a desperate hug. "Fuck, sorry. I'm so sorry, shortie. I didn't- I didn't mean it"

He has trouble breathing and you notice he's having an asthma attack. If you didn't know better, he's still carrying his inhaler in his backpack. You rush to it and hold it for him, but he's too distracted to do it himself.

You do it for him, he inhales deeply as he tries to focus on the oxygen he needs. He's still shaking really bad and you're pretty sure you're not any different from him. You open your tent so he gets fresh air, watching when Steve, Robin and the others rush to you both.

"What the fuck was that?" Nancy asks worriedly, next to Jonathan.

You don't notice when Eddie and Steve share a look, and your brother finds the pocket knife laying on the floor. You look back to Eddie, who's huddled in the corner, his knees are bent and he rests his elbows over it, covering his face.

You look so lost in the midst of the chaos. Steve helps you up and out of the tent, and Robin pulls Eddie out of it next. He walks out to the opposite direction, lighting a cigarette and nervously fiddling his rings.

"Why does he have a fucking pocket knife while he sleeps?" Was your first question when Steve stood beside you.

He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. He knows why, and he doesn't want you to know why.

"Steve?"

"He, uh-" He scratches the back of his head, squinting his eyes shut.

You wait for him to give you an answer. You look away and see Eddie on the verge of a meltdown. He's definitely struggling with something.

Steve wasn't sure he should tell you. He didn't know if Eddie would accept it. But you've always been his friend, you should know. Not from your brother, though.

He motions his head to his friend, meaning you should go talk to him. You're a little apprehensive of doing so.

From the corner of his eye, he sees you approaching him, timidly. He blows the smoke far from you and takes a deep and sharp breath as you stand next to him, looking out at the lake.

"You good?" You ask, not really sure how to start the conversation.

He chuckles, nervously of course. It's not directed at you, it's because of the situation itself. He throws the cigarette at the lake and turns to look at you. Immediately his eyes become glassy and he can't hold back the huff. It's still a little hard to breathe. But what's worse than that it's the fresh memories of the nightmare he just had.

A few hours ago, when you arrived at the lake, he was pretty sure he would be just fine knowing he was with his friends. It was the first time you were doing something like that since you got back to Hawkins and he was loving it. Eddie tried to focus on having fun and doing camping stuff with all of you. He tried his best to not let the door of the back of his mind let him remember the horrors.

And he did it. Even though a few times he would look into the lake and imagine Vecna would just show up and kill all of you. He shook it off, it was going to be fine. They killed him. You were all fine.

He tried to smoke a lot less because you were there. You were the one who always asked him to stop smoking and he knew it was too hard to let go of the addiction. But for you, he would try. And he did. It was a bit difficult, but he was having fun and laughing his ass off. Playing games was helping him a lot.

Seeing you there helped a lot. For him, though, it was too complicated as well. Because he wanted to be with you, he wanted to go out with you, he wanted to be around you a lot more.

But he couldn't fathom the fact you were the only one "immune" to the whole thing. You were the only one who didn't experience anything like they did, and he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted to protect you, even if it meant not being able to see you more. Even if it meant he couldn't have you like he wished.

Now he stands in front of you. He glances at you and he sees how worried you are, how scared you were when he realized what he was doing. He sees the way you're already trying to be there for him when he doesn't want you to.

Eddie runs his fingers through his hair mercilessly and messes with the curls. He nervously rubs his hand over his chin, not looking directly at you now. He doesn't want to hide things from you, but he doesn't want you to know what happened to him before. He doesn't need to be pitied or treated differently because of that.

But he just knows that if he keeps hiding it from you, it's gonna be worse for him. Sooner or later you'd find out, and demand him an answer.

He does it like he's ripping a band-aid off.

"I have nightmares. Okay? Almost every single damn day"

His words come out bitter, and you're not sure how to react to that. You don't wanna say sorry, because he might have heard that a thousand times.

"I dream about the same thing. I dream about Vecna and the fucking Demobats. They're chewing on me. They're eating me alive" He closes his eyes and you see tears washing over his face.

"It's always so real. I feel them ripping my skin off, I feel the pain. I see Steve there, and I see our friends and they're all helpless. And tonight, it was different. Because, fuck" Eddie lets out a nervous laugh and you watch him intently. "You were there too. And I couldn't save you. I just couldn't"

You take a step closer to him, holding his shaking hands, pulling them closer to you. He doesn't want to look at you, he doesn't look into your eyes. But you stare into his soul and try to take in his pain, because you know it wasn't easy for them. You know Steve dreams about it too, he's always talking about it. But it's not even as bad as it is for Eddie.

He doesn't hold back the tears. He let them fall freely and you dry them with your thumbs. You lean your forehead against his and let him mourn. Maybe that's what he needs, someone to cry on.

"It's... so fucked up. I don't know why I have these nightmares all the time. It feels like I wasn't supposed to come back"

You close your still forcefully and whisper "shut up" to him, but he doesn't. He still complains and says how much he didn't deserve a second chance.

"Eddie, just stop. You don't need to relive it every time. You should see the therapist, get some help. Find some comfort"

He gives you a dry laugh "Easy for you to say, shortie. You don't get to be in my head every fucking day"

"You're right, I don't. But you don't deserve to be in pain and suffer whenever it happens"

You both stay silent. He's just enjoying how close you are and the way you hold his hands and how he leans against you. He tries to absorb your words and works his mind to forget what happened but it's so hard. He hears the sound of the lake and it still makes him shiver. "It's not Lovers Lake. This is not the lake of the gate. He's dead, it's all gone". He thinks.

Steve is watching you from afar. His arms are crossed against his chest and he rummages through his lower lip, because he doesn't know what you're dealing with. He likes to think Eddie is gonna be fine as long as he stays with you, as long as he's around you. He would like to see his friend happy, for once at least. For more than just a few months.

You walk in the tent again, sitting as you wait for Eddie to make himself comfortable over the duvet you spread over the floor. You offered to be the bigger spoon and he laughed. It sounded so adorable coming from him, especially now that he's vulnerable.

He lies on his side, waiting for you to spoon him as you throw an arm around him. You rest your face against his shoulder and smell him. He's always smelling like musk and cigarettes, it's really charming. Even though you hate when he smokes.

Not long after you're both lying there, Eddie shifts and turns to his other side to face you. He places his hand over your face, splaying it out and he rubs his thumb against your soft skin. You hum to the touch and close your eyes.

He likes the sight. He likes the feeling, the touch. His stomach flutters and he feels nauseous in a good way. Eddie presses his lips to your forehead and spends several seconds just like that.

He takes in your smell and tries to lock it inside his brain. When he finally pulls back, he's caught on you looking at him. You smile and he smiles back at you.

"I'm glad you're back, honey" He whispers before scooting closer to your neck, leaning his head over your shoulder as he closes his eyes and tries to sleep.

Eddie feels like everyone is looking at him somehow. He glances at the group of the party people, Jason’s group and the cheerleaders group. They’re all gossips. They’re like vultures looking for a piece of garbage, they just sneak their way into someone’s life and expose them. It’s not different this time.

It seems like they’re whispering behind his back and he doesn’t know why. While Mike rambles about a new D&D campaign, he just keeps trying to listen to whatever anyone else is talking about. He feels his ears burn when Chrissy looks at him and giggles at her cheerleader friend. It bothers him. He whips his head and looks at the table you’re sitting in with Robin, Nancy, Jonathan and your brother, but you’re all too distracted to notice it.

Maybe it’s all in his head, maybe he’s too paranoid over something that doesn’t exist. Jason stands from his seat, dumping the rest of his food in the trash, walking towards the aisle where Eddie is sitting. He leans back against a pillar, grinning slightly, his voice casual but loaded with an amused tone.

“You ever wonder what it’s like to just... not sleep, Eddie? I mean, really. Or sleep at peace. That way, you’d never have to deal with those crazy dreams, right?”

Eddie’s hand paused mid air as he lifted his fork. His heart skipped a beat. His nightmares had been getting worse, each one more vivid and unsettling than the last. Jason’s words weren’t an accident, he could tell. He hasn’t told anyone about his nightmares, his friends knew. God, even Gareth knew about them. And you were the last to know.

But you wouldn’t do it, right? Why would you tell anyone? Jason’s smirk deepened as he continued, barely glancing at Eddie, focusing at a blank spot ahead of him.

“I’m sure it’s tough, you know, when you close your eyes and suddenly you're not sure what's real anymore. Kind of like... Dungeons and Dragons?”

Dustin and Mike stare at each other perplexed, Jeff and Gareth do the same, and the four of them share a look. Eddie clenches his jaw, putting the fork on his plate and forcing himself to look at the blond in front of him, who had a mocking smile on his face.

“The fuck are you talking about, you prick?” The metalhead could feel his blood pumping in his ears and his heart was beating so fast, he was almost choking on it.

“Yeah, but it’s probably better than... waking up and realizing you're not in control of anything. It’s all just... slipping away, piece by piece.” Jason chuckled under his breath. “Wouldn’t want to live like that, right?”

Eddie shifted uncomfortably, his fingers tapping against the table. He could feel the heat of Jason’s words seeping into his skin, prickling his nerves. The basketball leader wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was mocking him. Instead, it felt like he was enjoying every second of it because his voice was too smooth, his posture too relaxed, like he had already won some invisible game.

You finally noticed it happening, you didn’t see it before because Jason was being subtle. He wasn’t being loud or conspicuous. He knew what he was doing. And you could see the way Eddie was gripping tight on the table and how the other boys were too uncomfortable on their seats.

“Oh, God. Not again” You murmur and your friends all turn their heads to look at the scene.

Jason was still leaning against the pillar, a smug on his face as he doesn’t actually stare at Eddie, but rather just pushes his buttons. Whatever it was, it made Eddie stand abruptly.

He pushed his chair back with a loud scrape. He wasn’t sure whether he was more frustrated with Jason or with himself for letting him get under his skin. Without another word, he grabbed his tray and walked away, the sound of Jason’s laughter trailing behind him. He looked around carefully, and yes, most groups were looking at him and whispering whatever it was.

Eddie didn’t spend another second in the cafeteria, rushing out and grabbing your arm forcefully during the way, leading you back to the classroom storage. He pinned you to the wall, his brows were furrowed and his mouth was closed on a line. You knew he was mad, you just didn’t know why it was directed at you.

“Did you tell them, Harrington?” Him using your last name wasn’t exactly a surprise. It was his tone that scared you.

You froze for a moment, your back still facing the wall. Your expression is a mix of surprise and confusion. “Tell them what?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about” Eddie pressed, his voice thick with frustration. “My nightmares. Did you tell people about them?”

You blinked, looking genuinely taken aback. You took a slight step back, your face turning to something like defense. “What? Eddie, no. I- I didn’t tell anyone about your nightmares. Why would I do that?”

Eddie’s jaw clenched. He wasn’t sure why it hurt so much, maybe it was because he thought he could trust you, or maybe it was the way the rumors had made their way to him, but the sting was undeniable. “Then how the hell did people find out about them?” His voice was louder now, and he noticed you flinched to his tone.

Your brows furrowed in confusion, now your voice grew louder as you took a step toward him. “I swear, Eddie, I haven’t told anyone. I didn’t even know about them until you told me, and you never gave me permission to share that with anyone.”

Eddie’s eyes searched yours, trying to look for your features to falter. He wanted to believe you, but something in the pit of his stomach twisted as he remembered the way their eyes had shifted when they saw him.

“I- I don’t know, shortie. It’s just… it feels like everyone’s talking about it. Like they know things they shouldn’t” Eddie admitted, his voice cracking slightly. “I can’t deal with that.”

Your eyes softened, and you shook your head, your expression showing disappointment. “Eddie, I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but I promise you, I haven’t told anyone. If people know, it’s because of their own assumptions or something they overheard. I never shared anything.”

Eddie looked down, his hand running through his hair in frustration. He wasn’t sure if he felt more betrayed or more embarrassed. “I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that people know, or the fact that you think I’d believe you wouldn’t tell anyone”

Your face fell, your lips were trembling slightly. “You think I’d do that to you? After everything? After what we’ve been through?” Your voice cracked, a flicker of hurt flashing in your eyes. “Eddie, I care about you. I would never betray you like that. It’s unbelievable that you think I’d be capable of something like that.”

Your words hit him harder than he expected, and for a moment, the anger in Eddie’s chest deflated. He felt a sharp pang of guilt, his frustration dissipating as he realized just how deeply he’d misunderstood you. But it didn’t erase the feeling that something was off, something out of his control.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice barely audible now. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just… I don’t know who I can trust anymore.”

You nod, but still you feel like you were punched in the guts. You had never told anything to anyone in that school, let alone something so personal about Eddie. And you look at him, your eyes twitching as they become wet. You didn’t want to just cry because he didn’t believe you, you felt like all these years of friendship didn’t mean anything to him.

“Yeah, right. We’ve been friends for like, what, three weeks right Eddie?” He squints his eyes shut and takes in your sharp answer. He knows he fucked up. “I mean, why would you trust me when I’m a new friend to you?”

You don’t wait for a response as you brush past him, your shoulder pushing him out of the way. He stands there in confusion and frustration. He watches as you leave him alone and disappear out of the room. He kicks the first thing he sees and huffs a loud sigh.

You hated how you wanted to avoid Eddie every day during classes, during the break, and everywhere your friends would go together. Because he was always there, you cross paths in the hallway and he throws a guilty look at you. You know he feels bad, you also feel bad for him, but you can’t stop thinking about the way he confronted you back then.

And Eddie couldn’t stop himself from looking at you, the guilt weighing him down. Why didn’t you just trust her? he thought, frustration bubbling up. She didn’t do anything wrong. But no matter how many times he told himself that, the knot in his chest only grew tighter. That was before he found out Robin talked about it with Vickie, thinking they were alone in the bathroom.

Turns out one of Chrissy’s friends was also there and she did what they would all do. She told them. And now almost the entire school knew about it. Robin just wanted to explain to her girlfriend why Eddie was seeming so off lately, and then she told her. She didn’t know it would end up like that. And now Eddie won’t look at her either, no matter how many times and how much she apologizes to him.

By the time the school day ended that week, Eddie was exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. The guilt, the self-doubt, and the fear of losing you gnawed at him with every step. He watched as you slipped out the door, your pace quickening as if you couldn’t wait to leave.

He told himself he would talk to you tomorrow, that he would apologize and fix things, but deep down, he knew the longer he let this silence sink in, the harder it would be.

When you turned around the corner near the back of the school, you saw him. He was leaning against the wall, the faint smell of cigarette smoke hanging in the air. He didn’t notice you at first, his head tilted back, his eyes closed, as if the weight of whatever he was carrying was too heavy to hold up anymore.

The sight of him, smoking like this, was strange and you hated seeing him with a cigarette.

“Eddie” you said, your voice sharper than you meant.

He froze, but didn’t turn to face you right away. Instead, he exhaled the smoke and crushed the cigarette under his boot. When he finally faced you, his eyes narrowed slightly, a guarded expression on his face.

“Why are you hiding here?”

He doesn’t look at you for a moment, he shakes his head and mumbles “Nothing”

“Don’t lie” You snap at him, stepping forward, closer to him. “You’ve been acting like a damn ghost. I’m not stupid, Eddie. You thought I told everyone about your nightmares. About what you’ve been dealing with”

“And I’m sorry, okay? I’m fucking sorry I doubted you” When Eddie finally glanced up at you, his eyes were holding tiredness and angriness. Not towards you, but at everything that has been happening. “I’m just trying to keep some distance”

Your sarcastic laugh filled the air. “You’re doing it perfectly, you didn’t even apologize after that day!”

Eddie’s face twisted with frustration, his hands balled into fists at his sides. “I don’t want you involved in this mess” he spat, voice thick with emotion. “You don’t get it. If you knew everything, it would just complicate things.”

“Complicate things?” You shook your head, stepping even closer now, too close you’re almost bumping your nose into his. “So you keep me at arm’s length, push me away, all because you think you’re protecting me?”

Eddie’s eyes flickered with something. Maybe it was regret, guilt, maybe even fear. “I didn’t want to bring you into this” he muttered, his voice quieter now. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. If you knew what we've all been through, you would understand”

The roughness in his voice caught you off guard. You were angry, sure, but you could see that this wasn’t about mistrust. It was about his own insecurities. And it hurt more than anything.

“Eddie” Your voice softened as you looked deep in his eyes. “You don’t protect me by pushing me away. You don’t protect anyone like that.”

For a long moment, he didn’t speak, his eyes avoiding yours as if he was trying to figure out what to say, or if there was even anything to say. Then, slowly, he reached up, his fingers brushing against your cheek, a touch so tender it made your heart skip.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, his thumb grazing your skin softly, almost passionately. “I shouldn’t have treated you like that”

You looked at him, the anger still simmering, but there was something else too. Something softer, something that made the hurt a little easier to deal with. “You’ve got to start trusting me again, Eddie. I’m not like them. I’m not going to turn my back on you”

He swallowed hard, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips, the vulnerability in his expression too brutal to ignore. He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. Then, almost like an instinct, he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently cup your cheek.

The world seemed to slow as he leaned in, his breath mixing with yours, the emotion in his gaze nearly too much to handle.

You didn’t pull away, but instead, you held your breath, your heart racing. The space between you both was nonexistent now, the pull so magnetic that it almost hurt. Eddie’s lips hovered near yours for a fraction of a second, the silence screaming louder than anything.

He almost closed the gap, if it wasn’t for Dustin’s loud shriek calling out his name. Like an instinct, you pull back and glance at each other. Your heart is almost beating in your throat and your hands are sweating. Eddie looks at you pleadingly and before he leaves, he kisses you on the forehead and trots to where Dustin is calling him.

You didn’t even know you were holding your breath until you’re out of oxygen.

⋆˚✿˖°

@thegirlthatsfalling @strangemaximoff @readergf @sheneedsrocknroll92

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #joseph quinn fanfic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

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stars4noah · 8 hours ago

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HALLEY'S COMET- three.

{WARNINGS}: swearing, drinking, allusions to depression, reader and noah making up yayyyy 🥳🥳

w.c- 2,898

a.n- if you guys couldn't tell by now, this story has kinda turned from being inspired by only halley's comet to being inspired by the entire album! go listen to happier than ever by billie eilish. the album. not the song.

enjoy! <3

{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob

if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment!

i haven't slept since sunday. midnight for me is three a.m. for you.

three more weeks passed since everything happened. the next day, noah tried to come back. i told him to stay away. forever. i promised him that i would be just fine without him, that i didn't need him to prove to me that he was something he didn't want to be. because i was so convinced he didn't want to be better. he just wanted his photographer back.

i started working at a local coffee shop, the spark in my eyes that was once consistent now gone. i didn't have that kind voice that everyone grew to love. i didn't put any effort into my appearance. i just threw my hair into a ponytail and moved on.

a lot of the time, i was glad i lived alone. i could fall back into old habits without being scolded. like drinking, for example. it was the only way i knew how to handle my feelings. which wasn't working very well.

but you're all it takes for me to break a promise.

i knew the next time i saw his face i would break. i would run back. i would stay. spending years with somebody who you're secretly in love with will do that to a person. so i made it my goal to purposefully ignore him.

every time i would go home, i would scroll mindlessly on my phone. i found out that noah canceled the rest of the tour. mental health reasons, or whatever. i rolled my eyes, turning off my phone and cracking open yet another bottle of liquor, feeling the familiar burn go down my throat that i've grown accustomed to. i walked around my apartment mindlessly, humming some unfamiliar tune to myself.

these past few weeks, music has been my number one savior. aside from alcohol.

NOAH'S POV.

these weeks without her proved to be difficult. having fallen into a depression after alyssa and i broke up, [y/n] leaving only made it worse. i sat in my room, staring at the door. sometimes i would pray that she would walk through. surprise me and say it was all just a cruel prank.

countless bottles of hennessy sat in front of my bed. that was all i had been doing. drinking and working out and writing to ease away the pain.

"but nevertheless, i'm fucking depressed. i hide it with sex, and drink till it's fatal." i murmured to myself, taking another sip from the bottle before letting it clatter to the ground, snatching my pen and paper from my desk.

when i went through things like this, i always liked to write down my thoughts. some of those thoughts ended up in songs. and since we were in the middle of writing a new album, this was perfect.

there was a knock at the door and i grumbled a greeting, my eyes never leaving the paper. a couple seconds later, jolly walked in.

"christ, man, you look like hell."

i hummed, continuing to write as he sat in front of me.

"look, i know you're struggling. because of-"

i knew exactly who he was talking about. i didn't want to hear her name. she hurt me enough. "don't say her name."

jolly sighed. "because of her. but dude, we're worried. you know none of it was your fault, right? she was stupid to do that to you."

i scoffed. "she said it herself, jolly. 'he's richer, hotter, and bigger'" i scowled, repeating her words that she had said to me that night. some part of me regretted walking out of that door. i loved her. for years. and i had grown used to loving her. she was all that i had. she was what made me what i am. she was right, really. i would be nothing without her.

"you're doing it again." he said. at this point, i had stopped writing, staring off into space. "doing what?"

"that thing you do when you get all into your head. blaming yourself for everything. how many times do i have to tell you it's not your fault for you to get it in your head, man?" he said, sternly but gently.

i rolled my eyes. "you're wrong."

"how?"

"because i loved her, jolly. i fucking loved her, and i screwed it all up because i can never do anything right. i'll never be good enough. for myself, or anybody."

i buried my face in my hands, sobs racking my body once more. i never liked to be this vulnerable with anybody, even my closest friends. but honestly? i didn't give a fuck anymore. let them see.

"i know man. i know." he said, rubbing his hand over my back in an attempt to sooth me.

it pained jolly to see me like this. i knew that. but it was better to tell people of my thoughts than to keep it bottled up inside, right?

READERS POV.

i was making that damn song all the way till the early morning. i didn't even realize how late it had gotten until i woke up to my alarm. i had fallen asleep at my desk, my computer still running and everything. i didn't have work today, so that left me plenty of time to do whatever the hell i wanted.

months passed. months without seeing or talking to him. i would occasionally text the others, but i wouldn't dare send him a single text. i caught up a bit with folio and jolly, telling them about my ongoing journey with music. i still pursued photography as a side hustle, but my main focus was getting this song perfect.

it was almost done. almost ready to be released. maybe as an album? no, i can't get too carried away. music isn't for me. but as i listened to the song and made sure everything was right, my feelings began to change.

"i don't want it, and i don't want to want you. but in my dreams, i seem to be more honest. and i must admit, you've been in quite a few."

it wasn't a lie. he had began to show up more often in my dreams. not as nightmares, but as something that we could've been.

"Halley's Comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you."

that promise. that stupid promise.

"[y/n], please. let me explain-"

"no, noah! i don't care about your shitty explanations and your shitty behavior and your stupid face! i promise, i'll be just fine without you. leave me alone!"

"i haven't slept since sunday. mdnight for me is 3:00 a.m. for you. but my sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone, ooh-ooh-ooh. i was good at feeling nothing, now i'm hopeless. what a drag to love you like i do, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh."

it wasn't entirely a lie. when i imagined him in the bed next to me, it felt like i could sleep better. when i pretended everything was okay, everything felt lighter. the weight on my shoulders seemed to momentarily disappear, only to crash back down when i realized it was all just a fantasy.

"ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh. i've been loved before, but right now in this moment i feel more and more like i was made for you. for you. i'm sitting in my brother's room. haven't slept in a week or two, or two. i think i might have fallen in love. what am i to do?"

as the song ended, i found myself picking up my phone, going to his contact. i laughed softly to myself as i saw the contact. it was still the same. when everything was nice. when i wasn't all alone. i decided to jump the gun, shooting him a text.

i breathed out a sigh of relief. maybe he didn't hate me as much as i thought. i immediately thought back to the time i took it. when things were better. happier.

"come on! put it on!" i laughed, holding out the little plastic tiara to him. we had gone to disney world for a summer vacation, and i won a tiara from one of the game booths.

"i'm not putting that on." he said, his arms folded across his chest.

i pouted, looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes i knew he couldn't resist until he groaned, snatching the tiara from my hands and putting it on his head. despite his previously grumpy demeanor, he still wore a smile when i took the pictures.

i missed that.

the moment i saw him walk through those doors, it was like everything hit me all at once. he looked terrible. i did too, but definitely better in comparison.

"hi." i said softly.

"hi." he said back, sitting down in front of me with his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

i bit my lip as we sat in an awkward silence for a moment before i spoke.

"noah, i-"

"[y/n]-"

i couldn't help but smile softly as we spoke at the same time.

"you first." he said.

i took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself. "i know you've been through a lot, noah. and i should've taken that into consideration when i said all that shit. honestly, i haven't been doing too well myself, if you couldn't tell." i said, gesturing to myself.

"it sounds stupid as fuck, but it feels like theres this void in my chest that's just been so empty since i left. i miss you guys. i miss the band." i said.

he sensed there was something more. "but...?"

"but," i began. "i can't come back as the photographer. after i've recovered somewhat from everything, i realized photography isn't for me. i was to pursue something bigger."

"like?"

"music."

he raised his eyebrows. "you want to become a musician?"

"i know, it sounds absurd and like a child's dream, but i really think-"

"no, [y/n] that's fucking amazing." he said with a small laugh, leaning forward. i smiled slightly. there was that smile i missed.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i mean, i've only heard you sing a handful of times, but you're great. you're gonna make it big, trust me." he said.

my heart warmed at his words. "thank you." i said.

"look, [y/n], i'll be the first to admit how much of a douche i was to you. i've had time to think about it. to get over it and stop wallowing in self-pity. and i'm really sorry. i'm kinda shocked you didn't quit sooner, honestly. but, if you'd like, we could start fresh. you don't have to come back to the band, but we can hang out and shit. maybe i can help you with your music."

his words only made my smile brighten. "yeah, i'd like that. a lot. thank you."

"of course, princess."

after our little friend date, we went to his studio to work on some things. he showed me how different things worked and helped me on writing a song that i had been thinking about.

i bit my lip, jotting down a few lyrics in my notebook as he watched.

i don't really wanna know why you went there. i kinda don't care. you want to kill me? you want to hurt me? stop being flirty. it's kinda working.

i hummed a soft tune to myself as i read the lyrics, trying to figure out what would work right.

did you really think this is the right thing to do? is it news? news to who? that i really looked just like the rest of you.

noah snapped me out of my continuous thoughts, turning back to the computer. "i've been working on stuff, too." he said.

"yeah?"

he hummed in response, pulling up a file full of different songs. "pick one." he said, leaning back.

i bit my lip in thought before clicking on the one titled The Grey.

"evened the scores, then i let it all go fall apart. and every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. looking sideways when i say i'm okay with the past. but i'm afraid of what i might say if you ask."

i leaned back in my chair as i listened to the lyrics, knowing that this song could be about one of two people. me, or alyssa.

"gave you way too many chances, you ran through them all. got everything i could want but it wasn't enough. nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. got everything i could want but i still wanted more. yeah, i still wanted more."

the pure emotion in his voice was enough to make my heart break into pieces and clarify who it was about. i knew after what happened with her, he was broken. and this song was only proof.

"there's not another way, don't let me go. don't dig another grave today. i'll make the same mistakes, i'll never know who i was before i faded away into the grey."

the recording stopped, and my eyes darted from the screen to his face. "that's all i have right now." he said. "we have more sessions later this week to finish it."

i gulped. "noah..."

he looked at me and raised a brow. "what?"

"that was fucking beautiful."

i almost felt like i was going to cry. i always loved his voice, but that was on a whole other level. usually he was screaming. he never had those soft vocals like what i just heard.

he smiled softly. "thanks. now get in there."

i blinked, shaking my head. "sorry, what?"

"go on. get in the booth. i want to hear you sing this. we can figure something out."

"noah, i-" "don't argue. go."

i sighed, getting up and heading into the recording booth. maybe it would be okay. i wouldn't fuck it up. i put on the headphones, looking back up at him through the glass. "which one?" i asked.

he hummed, looking through the notebook i had left on the desk.

"what about my future? start it off strong."

i nodded, mentally preparing myself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

"i can't seem to focus, and you don't seem to notice i'm not here. i'm just a mirror. you check your complexion to find your reflection's all alone. i had to go. can't you hear me? i'm not coming home. do you understand? i've changed my plans. cause i, i'm in love with my future. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody else. just wanna get to know myself."

it really was a beautiful song. and it was me putting all of my feelings on the line. the lyrics didn't have a deeper meaning to them like noah's often did. their meaning was just laid flat out. i changed my plans for the future, and i'm waiting to sort things out with myself before falling in love again.

"i know supposedly i'm lonely now. know i'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. but aren't i someone? i'd like to be your answer. cause you're so handsome. but i know better than to drive you home. cause you'd invite me in, and i'd be yours again."

the lyrics seemed to flow freely as i sang, my eyes closed and hands moving in random directions. i didn't even notice him staring.

"but i, i'm in love. with my future. and you don't know her, mm. and i, i'm in love. but not with anybody here. i'll see you in a couple years."

i opened my eyes and looked at noah, noticing how his mouth was slightly open. i laughed. "don't start drooling."

he shook himself out of his thoughts. "sorry, that was just. really fucking good. you're a natural, princess. i'm jealous." he said.

i rolled my eyes, stepping out of the booth.

"great, now let's work out a tune."

we spent hours and hours fixing up the song, getting carried away in our musical abilities. last time i checked, it was around 2 am. i didn't want to go home, so i suggested we took a little break and watched a movie or something. he nodded and we sat on the couch, turning on the tv (of course he turned on naruto). my head ended up lulling to the side, landing on his shoulder as i slowly fell asleep. the last thing my brain registered before falling into dreamland was the soft kiss on my forehead and his soft words.

"goodnight, princess."

his lips against mine felt like heaven. it felt like my whole life was complete when i kissed him, when i felt him. he felt like home. something i hadn't known in a long time. i pulled away, breathing slightly heavy as i looked into his chocolate brown eyes.

"noah.." i whispered.

he smiled softly and hummed.

"i fucking love you."

"mm.. [y/n]." he mumbled against my lips.

"princess."

"[Y/N]!"

#Spotify #edenspeaks #stars4noah #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens #bad omens x reader #noah sebastian #halley'scomet

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ciaradream8 · 1 day ago

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Where Are You (Part 2)

A/N: So I'm still upset with Zayne for not coming home when midnight hit during new years and before that (He rarely showed up at the cafe and when he did he was on his laptop the whole time). So I'm still letting out feelings and the new year is not being kind to me in RL as well. Just needed to vent in my own way so I made a part 2. I know I know those who commented wanted a better outcome and I PROMISE there will be happy ending. It's just going to take a few parts to get there. Please be patient with me. I didn't plan on making this more than 2 parts it just happened. I just went with the flow. I didn't really proofread this either so I'm sorry for the terrible writing. Like I said I was just venting in my own way.

Warnings: Angst (with a bit of comfort from Tara until later)

Words: 1.5K

If this is your first time reading this I suggest going to the first part:

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“Did you have a good new year’s?” Tara asked as she took a bite of her lunch.

“Yeah.” I replied, giving her a small smile. She put her fork down and gave me a look.

“What happened? You don’t look like someone who celebrated and is excited for the new year.” she frowned.

I sighed. After sending that text to Zayne he still had not replied. It’s been a couple of days. All I could see was that he read it, but he didn’t do anything beyond that point. I just felt worse after that. Everywhere I looked something reminded me of him. It didn’t help that Linkon was snowing. Even if someone mentioned snow he would just pop in my head and wouldn’t leave my mind for a long period of time. I didn’t want to tell Tara what happened for two reasons: I didn’t want to worry her and hearing it from my own mouth would make me cry again.

“I…I rather not talk about it.” I spoke up after a minute of silence. Tara opened her mouth, but nothing came out. It was strange. She normally would try to pry things open, but it appeared she noticed that I was feeling at my lowest. I had my downs, but this was by far the worst I have ever felt. Things have been going wrong since the Zayne situation happened: my packages went to the wrong address, my takeout orders have been way off, my reports had errors despite me double checking them, and more. Why was this happening? They didn’t involve Zayne yet after my breakup text things have been consistently going wrong.

“Okay. I won’t force you, but at least let me do a new year reading for you! It might help!” Tara offered.

“I…I don’t know.” I hesitated.

“Please? Pretty please?” She gave me her puppy eyes.

I gave a small laugh, “Okay. Go ahead.” To be honest, I was scared. Tara’s readings have usually been on point. Let’s see how terrible my year will be. I thought to myself. I watch Tara take out her cards with excitement after setting aside her lunch. She proceeds to lay out her cards on the table while I take another small bite of my lunch. After she finishes she puts her index finger to her chin and analyzes the cards. My heart rate speeds up due to nerves, but I try to quell it down and prepare myself for a negative year. Next thing I see from her face is a smile.

“You’re going to be fine, (Y/N). The beginning of the year is sometimes rough for everyone. I can see you were let down by someone for a while, but they have their reasons. I know. I know it’s no excuse and I can see you’re going to give them a fight. This special person of yours is willing to fight to win your heart again. No matter how long it takes. This year won’t be bad for you at all. I promise.” Tara placed her hand over her heart.

“Tara…you know who this special person is…” I sighed.

“I know. But I also know saying his name will hurt you more with the way you’re feeling now, right?”

“Thanks for not saying it.” I smiled.

“Of course! What are friends for? Let me read the rest.”

According to Tara, my career is still going to skyrocket along with my luck. I just had to get through a rough patch for the time being. I hated that. Luckily she said that it was for a very short time and that soon things will fall into place, but at the end of the day I made the choices in my life. Even though I didn’t tell her exactly what happened, she made me feel better.

3 Days Later

Mornings suck. I like being a hunter, but the only complaint I have is that we’re supposed to report for duty in the morning. I grabbed my phone to check the time and nearly jumped out of bed at the sight of what I saw on my screen.

A text message from Zayne.

He’s sending me a message NOW? Why? Wait. Should I have blocked him? But I can’t since he’s my primary physician. Maybe I can call Akso Hospital to see if I can switch. The less I see him the better. I thought to myself while I unlocked my phone to see what he sent. There was no explanation. Just one question:

Can we talk?

That was it. I slapped my forehead and laughed a bit. Was this man serious? This was the last thing I wanted to do. What if Tara was wrong in her reading? Zayne doesn’t want me. He probably got tired of me for all I know. “Think, (Y/N). Think. This is a bad idea. You’ll go crawling to him after the pain he put you through.” I shook my head. The pain of wanting to see him and being disappointed in him were fighting against each other. I needed to think with my head this time. “It’s fine. I can go on without him. I don’t need…I don’t need…” I couldn’t finish that sentence. I proceeded to cry in bed again while I clutched onto my phone.

After a good cry I decided not to answer. He never answered my texts so why should I? I don’t care if it was childish. I had the right to be like this since he was the one so busy with work that he ignored me, got annoyed with me when I tried to get him to pay attention, and ignored my messages and missed out on our celebration for the new year and first year anniversary. I’m a big girl who can live without him just fine.

“Hunters. This year is off to a slow start, but that doesn’t mean we have other things to take care of. Such as your physical.” Jenna announced and everyone groaned. “It is necessary that we have all these medical appointments to ensure that your body is doing well to keep going. Being a hunter is a big responsibility. It is my hope that one day that all wanderers are gone for good and that the city won’t need hunters anymore. That the world will no longer have to fear wanderers invading their home and we can live a peaceful life. We got a taste of that these past few weeks. Unfortunately, they are not gone. That is where you come in. Maintaining a healthy body and mind is necessary for jobs like these. You may have become strong in more ways than one, but at the end of the day we are human. We have our vulnerable side too and that’s okay. Your physical must be done by the end of the month and I will receive your medical report from your doctor.”

“Yes, Captain!” We all shouted.

“Good. All of you get back to work.” Jenna said before walking away. The moment we couldn't see Jenna’s silhouette Tara pulled me to the side.

“Are you going to be okay with that?” Tara asked with a worried look on her face.

“Honestly?” I bit my lip and shook my head. “Maybe I can switch doctors or have one of the doctors do it for me?”

“Do you really want to switch doctors?”

I looked to the side, “It doesn’t matter. It’s probably best.”

“(Y/N)...”

“We got weekly reports to do. We better get started on those.” I cut her off.

After finishing work and leaving the Hunter’s Association I saw that there was heavy rain. My remaining coworkers who stayed overtime with me were frustrated since the weather report didn’t mention anything about rain tonight. I groaned.

“Just my luck. I didn’t bring my raincoat or a thick jacket. Tara…I’m probably the first person whose reading is wrong.” I walked to the parking lot to get my motorcycle, but when I tried to turn it on, a weird nose spurted out. “Are you kidding me?!” I tried to turn it on again, but next thing I knew a bit of smoke came out. I am so close to screaming. I took a deep breath to try and calm down, but with everything falling apart it was becoming difficult. I walked out of the parking lot and got my phone out to call a taxi only to see my phone was dead. That was the last straw. I threw my phone as far as I could as I screamed.

“CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?!” I looked up while the rain poured. “I JUST WANT SOMETHING TO GO RIGHT? JUST ONCE. A SIGN OR SOMETHING WOULD BE NICE DAMN IT!” Tears began to roll down my cheeks while I panted. I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t bother turning around, thinking it was a stranger who thought I was nuts. But it wasn’t a stranger.

“(Y/N).”

Impossible. I thought. I slowly turned around to face the person I was hoping not to see. He wore his black knitted shirt, dark gray coat and slacks. He held up his large, black umbrella above him.

“Zayne?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you for letting me let things out. This year is already off to a rough start honestly, but at least it's giving me inspiration to write stuff like this? I'll probably just write whatever I want to write unless you guys have requests. I do know more than Love and Deepspace so if you're curious what more I can do you can ask and I will answer yes or no. Again I promise this will have a happy ending! I am just salty with Zayne hahaha

#zayne x reader #lads zayne #doctor zayne #love and deepspace

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alexihollis · 2 days ago

Text

My Sister's Keeper

Cleon remembered the first time someone made her confront her relationship with Swan. It was Cochise, because of course it was, and it happened about three months after Swan first came into the Warriors - the morning after Cleon almost lost it.

It being her morals. Her ethics. The line in the sand she promised to never cross or blur. Yet what made her actually feel guilty that morning?

The sheer look of terror and panic on Swan's face. Cleon never wanted Swan to look at her like that again. Ever.

So Cleon had been brooding on the roof that morning, when Cochise came to find her. She dangled her legs next to Cleon's, over the edge, and stared out over the buildings.

"I never liked Peacock," Cochise said. "Remy and Warren weren't strong, either."

"Is that seriously how you want to start this?" Cleon asked.

"You know you fucked up. I'm not going to badger you about it."

Fucked up was almost too gentle a way of saying it.

"Do you want to talk about it, though?" Cochise asked.

Not really.

"You played it off pretty well," Cochise said. "Most people thought you were just trying to make a point. Scare the shit out of them and make them feel lucky that you only jumped them out."

That didn't make Cleon feel any less shitty. She never wanted people to be afraid of her, to follow her orders because they were afraid of what she might do.

"Cleon. Come on. What happened yesterday?" Cochise pushed once more.

"They could have killed her," Cleon finally said.

Her mind kept going back to the night before, when Rembrandt came running down the boardwalk and barely able to speak.

"What's wrong?" Cleon asked, because it clearly was something. Rembrandt could run, fast and hard, so to see her this out of breath was concerning, on multiple levels.

"Swan's jumping off roofs."

"The fuck do you mean Swan is jumping off of roofs?!"

Just that, it turned out. Cleon raced with Rembrandt to the streets with a few abandoned buildings. Some had storefronts on the first floors, with the upper levels being largely vacant or even abandoned. Down on the street, Ajax had Remy up against a wall, arm on her throat while Warren tried in vain to get Ajax off of her.

"Tell them to come down, now!" Ajax roared. "Or so help me God, Wren, I will crush her-"

"Ajax, let her down!" Cleon ordered as soon as she caught sight of them.

Ajax lessened her arm against Remy's throat, but did not drop her, turning furious eyes to Cleon. "Peacock's got Swan up there jumping-!"

"Fuck, there!" Rembrandt pointed up and, sure enough, there was Swan, leaping over the alley and onto another roof. Then back again.

Ajax swore under her breath before saying to Cleon, "She's been having her do that for nearly an hour, according to these clowns!"

"Then why didn't you go up there?!" Cleon demanded.

"Because Peacock locked all the fucking doors!" Ajax yelled back.

"I wanted to try scaling the fire escape, but Ajax lost her shit," Rembrandt crossed her arms.

Ajax looked at Cleon, almost begging Cleon to back her up, and Cleon could understand the very quick leap Ajax would make from Peacock making Swan jump between buildings to tossing Rembrandt off of one.

"No. No, you did the right thing, getting me," Cleon said as she yanked off her outer jacket and fuck it was cold. "Hair-tie?"

Rembrandt handed her a hair-tie.

"You're going up there?" Ajax asked.

Cleon nodded. "Meeting at the bar. Immediately. Rembrandt, go tell everyone. Ajax - get these two idiots to the bar."

Ajax and Rembrandt shared a look.

"Yes, ma'am," Ajax half-saluted, before heading off, Remy and Warren ashen-looking behind her.

Rembrandt hung back just an extra second. "Everyone everyone?"

"Any single soldier associated with us, I want them there."

Rembrandt's eyes went a bit wide, but she nodded.

It wasn't too difficult, in the end, using the fire escapes to get up to the roof, until the last one. That last one involved a bit of a precarious jump, but she survived. The look on Peacock's face was more than enough.

"Swan, if you even think about jumping one more time, I'll have you scrubbing dishes in Jenkins' for a month," Cleon threatened as soon as she stood on the roof. Swan jumped off the ledge, back onto the roof's floor.

"Cleon-" Peacock tried.

"Don't talk," Cleon all but growled, eyes narrowed. "We're having a meeting at the bar. Get there. Now."

"But-"

"I said don't talk!" Cleon yelled. Peacock's teeth clacked with how quickly she shut her mouth. "Get there. If you even think about running, you better fucking pray you're out of this city before I'm able to track you down."

Peacock nodded and practically ran to the door to get off the roof. Once the door closed behind her, Cleon turned to Swan, fully prepared to read her the riot act.

Only to find Swan doubled over, hands on her knees, breathing heavily.

Shit.

"Hey, hey," Cleon was at Swan's side in a second, hand on Swan's back. She could feel her breathing, feel her heart racing even through her shirt and vest. "Breathe, c'mon. You okay?"

Swan nodded. Took a couple more heaving breaths. "Yeah. Yeah, just- just tired."

"Sit down," Cleon helped Swan sit, leaning up against the roof ledge. Swan's skin felt hot to the touch and her face was covered in sweat, even in the cold. "Shit, Swan."

"Sorry," Swan managed through her breathing, eyes closed and head leaned back as she tried to catch her breath.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Cleon couldn't help herself.

Swan shrugged.

"I'm gonna need an answer." Anger tinged Cleon's words.

Swan opened one eye, looked at Cleon. She closed it once again and sighed, her face the picture of resignation. "Initiation."

Initiation? "You've been initiated."

"Not to Peacock," Swan said. "She said mine wasn't good enough. That I hadn't proven myself to the other soldiers."

Cleon blinked. "You went toe-to-toe with Ajax."

"Who went easy on me."

"Ajax goes easy on no one. Not even Rembrandt," Cleon said. "She just doesn't let Rembrandt hit the floor as hard as she lets the rest of you."

Which Rembrandt bitched about anyway, but that was their business and Ajax rarely sparred against Rembrandt in the first place.

Swan scoffed. "Then how'd I get her down so fast?"

"...because you're a good fighter."

"I'm not stronger than Ajax."

"You aren't stronger," Cleon agreed. "But you use your head. You figured out her weaknesses and you used her own strength and frame against her. Not to mention, Ajax practically taught you how to take her down. She wanted you to win, fair and square. Even if she'll never admit it."

For as much as Ajax had bitched that night, now over a month ago, Cleon saw the smiles. The way she ruffled Swan's hair. Ajax had been proud about how that fight went down, proud of Swan, happy with her own ability to teach new Warriors. Cleon had been happy with her choice of an initiation task for Swan. The task had only been to have an official spar with Ajax, she didn't require Swan to win, but the win had been an undeniable bonus. The other soldiers looked at Swan with a new respect, talked to her a bit more seriously, stopped looking at Swan like the little Boardwalk Stray Cleon brought home to die on her couch. Overall, a good night.

"Did Peacock say Ajax threw the fight?" Cleon asked.

Swan didn't say anything.

"Swan."

With a sigh, Swan nodded.

"That fucking bitch," Cleon ground her teeth.

She'd had issues with Peacock before. Peacock came to them a massively insecure person and, despite her near year long tenure with the Warriors, still caused problems about it. Cleon had been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but this was too far, for anyone.

"How the Hell did she come to the conclusion to have you jump roofs?" Cleon asked.

"...I didn't want to go to the Wonder Wheel."

"She was going to have you jump off the Wonder Wheel?!"

"No!" Swan exclaimed, laughed a bit even at Cleon's panic. "No. Some of the others wanted to go ride the Wonder Wheel and I said no. She asked why, said I didn't want to. She pushed more and I said I'm afraid of heights. And I am, so..." Swan shrugged.

Cleon felt like Swan dumped a bucket of ice on her head. "You're afraid of heights?"

Swan nodded. "Always have been. Weak in the knees and everything. Which is stupid and I need to get over it and Peacock said she had a way of helping me get over it."

It was then that Cleon started to lose it a bit. She barely remembered helping Swan back to her feet and down the building. She remembered walking into the bar, eerily quiet for how full it was, and Swan freezing for just a second, forcing herself to not hide behind Cleon the way she so clearly wanted to.

Cleon remembered telling Swan to go stand with Cowgirl, who seemed concerned and quickly put an arm around Swan, whispering and handing her a bandana to wipe off her sweat-soaked face.

Cleon did not remember what she said in that meeting. Some accusation about Peacock trying to kill a new member, which was a bit of an exaggeration. At some point, Cleon threatened to make the three of them jump from rooftop to rooftop, asked how they would like it. Some grandstanding about her girls having choices, being allowed to do what they wanted in their free time, and if anyone had an issue with someone else's initiation, they could address those at Cleon. And somewhere along the way, Cleon made it clear that she wanted Peacock, Remy, and Warren dead.

Which went against everything Cleon ever claimed to stand for. Her worst punishment, the absolute, was jumping out. That was it, she'd always said. And if Cochise hadn't been there, hadn't shook her head, hadn't cocked her head at Swan, who looked absolutely terrified-

Cleon wasn't sure what she would have done.

But Cochise was there and Swan did look like that and Cleon demanded the three's colors and told Ajax to throw them out of the island. Said she never wanted to hear their names again and that was that.

"Why would they do that?" Cleon asked Cochise, back on the roof, back in the sunshine.

Cochise sighed. Shook her head. "Who knows? Peacock...Peacock has problems. Maybe she was jealous?"

"Jealous?"

"You've never been this close to a recruit before," Cochise said. "And...you haven't had a number two before, either. Everyone's been more or less equal."

"Really?" Cleon deadpanned, gesturing to where they sat.

Cochise laughed. "You have friends. Sure. But you don't let anyone else make calls. You don't delegate the responsibility, really. I mean, you've got me. You use Cowgirl and Ajax to manage the soldiers and Rembrandt keeps the scouts in line, mostly, but you don't ask us to make decisions. You don't run your ideas by us."

"I don't do that with Swan, either," Cleon said.

Cochise tilted her head from side to side, before, "Yet."

"...yet?"

"You haven't introduced me personally to any of our neighbor gang leaders," Cochise said.

"She lives in my apartment!"

"Yeah, isn't that interesting?"

Cleon groaned, rubbing at her temple. "I just- I care about her. I care about all of you!"

"Hey, she cares about you, too," Cochise checked her shoulder. "I think she's enjoyed being the little sister, for once." Then, after a moment, "I think you've enjoyed having one again."

Cleon felt sick. "Please don't."

"Okay. Okay, I won't," Cochise promised. And she didn't, that day. They moved on and Cleon tried to ignore what Cochise said.

Ignore. Explain away. No, Cleon was not paying extra attention the time because she sent Swan on that job. And even if she was - Swan was still new, youngest recruit Cleon ever got at only seventeen, it made sense to be more vigilant with her.

No, Cleon did not purposely give Swan a task to do at home when the others wanted to go out to a bar. And even if she did, seventeen, Swan was too young for that shit, even if Ajax got her a fake ID.

It doesn't matter what happened to that fake ID, they would get Swan a real one soon enough, when she turned eighteen, don't worry about it.

Over the years, it got harder to ignore, but easier to live with. Swan would narrow her eyes sometimes, when Cleon did something a bit too overprotective, would raise an eyebrow and ask Cleon to repeat herself. Usually, that would be enough for Cleon to back down. Adjust it to a more reasonable request, particularly after it became clear that Swan was quickly on her way to becoming Cleon's number two. Especially after Cleon named Swan her number two on Swan's twentieth birthday.

"That means you're going to have to let me make decisions, you know," Swan said later that night, curled up on the couch in their apartment, clearly tired but not wanting to go to bed just yet.

"I trust you," Cleon said. Honest.

Swan nodded. Was quiet for a moment, in that way that meant she had something important to say. "I love you, you know."

"I love you, too."

And Swan smiled, got up from the couch and pressed a firm kiss to the top of Cleon's head, before going to bed.

It was three years later when the Night from Hell came. When Cleon got separated from her crew and spent the night cursing Masai, the Riffs, even Cyrus, all to try and drown out the beating drum of You made them come.

You made Swan come, when she didn't want to.

When she was afraid.

When she asked you- begged you to reconsider.

You made Swan come.

Cleon's biggest failing as a leader came as the sun rose on Coney Island and her first thought upon seeing her crew, upon learning about Fox and Ajax: Thank God it wasn't Swan. She would never forgive herself for that one, even as the pain hit properly. Ajax - they would get Ajax back, but when was still unknown and Rembrandt looked shattered.

Fox, though? Fox was gone. Forever. In a horrifically familiar way that reminded Cleon of shattering windows and a young girl's last moments and-

Cleon couldn't think about it too long.

On top of all of that...Mercy.

Strange name for an even stranger girl who Cleon first met wearing Swan's vest. Cleon made sure to get Mercy a vest of her own quickly, seeing as Swan was apparently allergic to Mercy not wearing Warriors' colors.

As Cleon handed the vest to Mercy, with eyes so wide Cleon worried that they might actually pop out of her head, she looked at Swan: "And put your own damn vest on. It's been days."

Swan just rolled her eyes, a soft smile as she watched Mercy put her vest on and taking her damn sweet time putting her own back on. Cleon felt a little better as soon as the vest was on. Made her think a little less of a young teenager curled up in the sand under the boardwalk.

"You've got to stop staring at Mercy like that," Cochise said after about a week of Mercy living in her house.

"What are you talking about?" Cleon looked at Cochise. Mercy and Swan had just left, leaving the two of them alone in the living room.

Cochise raised an eyebrow.

"Listen," Cleon tried to defend herself. "This is the first time Swan's recruited someone. I'm just getting a feel for her."

"Uh-huh. And how good of a feel are you getting scaring her out of every room she's in?" Cochise asked.

"That's suspicious, right?" Cleon asked.

Cochise took a deep breath. "What do you mean?"

"Its suspicious that she's so nervous around me. Why would she be so nervous if she wasn't hiding something?"

"Oh, good God, why did I think this was going to go any other way?" Cochise rubbed at her forehead. "Cleon. I'm serious. Don't fuck this up for Swan."

"I'm not-"

"Cleon. Listen to me. Swan really likes her. I mean, really likes her and I think she's the only thing keeping Swan together right now, you cannot become Scary Big Sister right now."

Cleon sputtered. "I am not-"

"You are."

Cleon quieted. Stewed for a moment. "Swan won't talk to me about Fox."

Cochise snorted, a defeated sound. "Join the club. She won't talk to anyone."

"Except Mercy," Cleon filled in.

Cochise nodded. "Exactly. Don't have a singular clue what it is about this girl, but...Swan feels safe around her."

Which was great! Cleon was happy about that! She really was.

So she tried. She really, really tried to talk to Mercy.

Mercy just had a very great ability to not be in the same place as Cleon, ever, unless there was at least two other people around. When there were others around, she was fine. She talked, joked, and Cleon found that she even kind of liked Mercy. Hell, if Cleon met Mercy on the street and Mercy seemed on the look, Cleon might have tried to recruit Mercy herself.

"How'd you end up running with the Orphans anyway?" Cleon asked one Sunday morning, a couple months after the Night from Hell, about three weeks after Ajax got home.

"Oh, yeah! What was the story behind that?" Cowgirl asked through a giant mouthful of pancake.

Mercy winced a bit. "Uh. No story, really."

"...are you sure?" Cowgirl poked, everyone now staring at Mercy.

"Cowgirl-" Swan started, eyes narrowed.

Mercy came to Cowgirl's rescue, though, with a groan. "It's not like that, it's just embarrassing."

Which peaked Ajax's interest, "Okay, now you have to tell us."

Mercy groaned, louder, burying her face in her hands. Swan chuckled a bit, rubbing Mercy's back. Swan laughed a lot more now. That was a point in Mercy's favor.

"I didn't realize Sully was hitting on me," Mercy said into her hands.

Silence. Cowgirl even stopped chewing.

Rembrandt carefully put her cup of coffee back on the table, straightening a bit and leaning towards Mercy. "Mercy. Mercy, what does that even mean?" Her voice was barely restrained from a laugh at the mere implications of what Mercy said.

"I didn't realize Sully was hitting on me. I thought he knew about some youth shelter," Mercy still would not remove her face from her hands, but she did peak through her fingers. "And it was really cold and the next thing I knew, I'm standing in front of his gang and he's saying I'm his girlfriend. I didn't know what to do, so I just went with it. You showed up, like, two weeks later."

Silence.

Then, Rembrandt: "You knew Swan was into you when you-?"

Mercy threw the napkin at Rembrandt's head as everyone else exploded into laughter. "Swan was a lot more direct than Sully!"

"Direct, she says, as if she didn't start a rumble and then help us light up her own gang," Ajax laughed.

Which-

Yeah.

Cleon had not heard that part of the story. "What happened exactly?"

"You know, it's really not that important," Cochise tried, but trailed off at Cleon's look. Instead, "Swan, you're a dumbass."

"It wasn't a big deal," Swan tried after Cleon had all but dragged Swan to her bedroom.

"One rule. We have one rule with recruits, what is it?" Cleon asked.

"No kids," Swan deadpanned. At Cleon's glare, she tsked, "No one who's ever shown violence to our own."

"Exactly."

"She wasn't violent!" Swan argued. "Besides, she helped us-"

"Against her own gang!"

"She just explained that she never meant to join that gang!"

Cleon shook her head. "I don't like it. I don't like that it happened and I don't like that you didn't tell me!"

"Because I knew you would overreact," Swan said.

"We agreed!"

"She wasn't violent-!"

"Then why not tell me?" Cleon asked.

"Because I knew you would overreact. You always overreact when it's me!" Swan yelled. "She already had a strike against her because I liked her, I didn't want to give you another reason not to like her!"

"I did not-"

"Then why haven't you spent any time with her?" Swan asked.

Cleon sputtered, "I've tried!"

"No, you haven't. At all. And I know Mercy's jumpy around you, but it's because she's scared of you! She's worried you're going to decide to jump her out if she steps a single toe out of line-"

"She should be!"

Swan stopped. Stared at Cleon and Cleon knew she fucked up. "That's awful."

Cleon swallowed bile in her throat, "That's not what I meant."

"That's what you just said," Swan retorted.

How did this go wrong so fast? "Can we sit down?"

Swan sat as far from Cleon on the edge of the bed as possible, arms crossed and scowling down at the carpet.

"Look, I trust you," Cleon started. "And because I trust you, I trust Mercy. To an extent. Learning that you kept this from me...It makes me wonder if I can trust Mercy after all."

"You've never been like this with Rembrandt and Ajax."

"Rembrandt and Ajax came to us as Rembrandt and Ajax," Cleon said. "This is different."

Swan scowled harder. "It's different because you don't trust me."

"I do," Cleon stressed. "But- I mean, c'mon you hid-"

"You don't trust me, you don't listen to me, which is why I couldn't tell you," Swan interrupted, looking at Cleon.

"When have I not listened to you-?"

"When I told you I didn't want to go uptown!"

Cleon felt all the air leave her at once. Felt like she wanted to cry and throw up at the same time. "Well. At least that was honest."

Swan looked horrified. "That wasn't what I meant."

"That's what you said," Cleon muttered, feeling hollow.

"Fuck," Swan muttered under her breath. "Cleon, I don't- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but you kept- I don't blame you."

"You should." Cleon did.

"I don't," Swan stressed.

Cleon felt the bed shift, just slightly, looked up to see Swan doing that hovering thing she did. When she wanted a hug, but didn't know if she was allowed. Cleon held her arm open and Swan was right by her side, Cleon holding her tight.

"I'm sorry," Swan said, quiet.

"I'm sorry, too. I should have just trusted you. Ajax wouldn't have joked about it if she thought it was serious." Then, after a quiet moment, "Do you talk about that sort of thing with Mercy?"

"...about that night?"

Cleon nodded.

"Yeah," Swan said. "It's easier. She wasn't there for the lead up and...I don't blame you, but I was...angry. In the beginning."

Cleon never even knew. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to be angry," Swan said. "I didn't think you deserved it. I just felt it, which was weird. Mercy says that happens sometimes."

Damn.

Out of everything, emotional intelligence was not a skill Cleon expected from Mercy.

"I'm not worried about being little, broken Swan in front of her," Swan continued. "Everyone else...I'm worried that if I tell them that shit, they'll just think of the kid you found on the boardwalk."

"I get that," Cleon sighed. As much as she hated it.

Cleon put more effort into spending time with Mercy after that. Starting with running jobs with Mercy alone, which made the girl go alarmingly pale the first time Cleon announced it.

Mercy did not speak the whole way into Manhattan. Nothing more than a "yes, ma'am," while on the job. And nearly nothing on the way back.

Until Cleon finally broke and said, "I do like you, you know."

Mercy's eyes widened. "Oh! Uh- that's good!"

Wow. Mercy really was freaked out by her. That was not supposed to be a good thing, Cleon tried to remind herself.

"You're good for Swan," Cleon said. "That helps."

Mercy shook her head, "Swan's good for me. She's- she's the best person I know."

Good. "Yeah. I think so, too."

Mercy smiled at that, just a bit.

"You better not hurt her," Cleon said. Because she had to.

"Full permission to push me off the top of the Wonder Wheel if I do."

It also helped that Mercy was genuinely smart. The more jobs they ran, the more Cleon saw it.

Then Mercy saved her ass. Pulled her deep into an alley, directed them into a double back, and onto a train headed into the Bronx that they changed for the southbound at the next stop.

Because she noticed a cop tailing them that Cleon never spotted, until they were running from him to catch the train.

"Holy shit," Cleon muttered as soon as they were on the train home, Mercy out of breath next to her from the sheer anxiety. "Okay. That was way too close."

"Too close," Mercy nodded in agreement. Then, "Swan doesn't need to know-"

"Absolutely not, she doesn't need to know shit," Cleon agreed.

Mercy nodded. But then a conflicted look appeared on her face.

Cleon sighed, "You can't actually not tell her, can you?"

"Not a chance," Mercy admitted.

Fantastic.

Cleon couldn't help but smile a little, though, even when Mercy guiltily recounted what happened on the job and Swan launched off into lecture mode on the two of them.

They were good together, Cleon decided.

Mercy was good for Swan.

#warriors concept album #warriors musical #fanfic #swan the warriors #mercy the warriors #swercy #my writing #the warriors fanfic #wonder wheel anon

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inhcritance · 2 days ago

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Harry couldn't remember being ill. He couldn't remember that raw, furious desperation, not beyond the nagging whisper of a memory and the shadow of what it might have been.

Once, at some point, he'd said he'd known it had been a bad idea. That doing it risked every single thing he'd ever stood for. And yet he'd been willing to go forward with it, because the alternative was dying.

Something that wasn't a cure, but it had worked, and it had been enough, and just like Harry was not looking at the camera, was resolutely pretending he had not noticed that glance, like so many others -it could be useful one day, he'd told himself, why show his hand too early now- he did not ask if he was still dying. Not when he couldn't be certain if Peter would know, or even if Harry's own father would.

Not, moreover, when his suspicions of what might have happened were starting to have more of a shape. Not exactly a circle, like the one Peter was drawing, but the moment that the circle had been broken.

A part of him was tempted to reach out and press his hand against the glass, to see just how much warmth he might be able to feel across it. The rest of him knew better than to allow himself something like that. Not as he found he'd crossed his arms, almost hugging himself, and forced himself to relax a little, to sit straighter.

Did it count for anything, he wondered, as his eyes went to the hand once again. He did not heed the part of himself that sneered that he should be able to pretend to be unbothered, and have it all be convincing.

"I wouldn't know." He shrugged instead. "Not now, at least. But I hope so." He admitted. "And it's a start. I don't feel sick."

Not that he had any idea if he was feeling healthy or not, because he only had... well, the first days. And this. And all those shattered memories he couldn't still put together well.

"And I appreciate you telling me." He added, and he meant it. Even when telling him likely involved everyone else knowing too. "I know it's... not easy."

A platitude, mostly, because it was not easy on any of their sides. And Harry did not know of any way to make it better. Just trying to remember, and figure out, and learn, and keep the frustration and the boredom at bay.

And then, because if he'd ever been strong and good at keeping his emotions out of reach, that was not a skill he thought he'd kept, he spoke again.

"Just, you say I didn't see anyone, during those first days." He settled for. "Anyone at all?"

And he at least managed to keep most of the mix of exhaustion and hope in that question, because he was sure of nothing, and he wasn't sure if a yes or a no would be worse. But he'd still had to ask.

@localwebslingers

It wasn't a surprise that the photos were looked at first, and neither was the sudden glimpse of frustration as Harry took the first few images in. Peter couldn't remember the order but could imagine why they had gotten the reaction. He didn't point out that he'd noticed, instead giving his explanations of what was in the bag and letting Harry go through them at his own pace. Glad that it seemed like the items Peter picked out seemed to be the right call. He smiled a little at the assurance of Harry's current clothes not being itchy at least, he wasn't sure if they'd be bothering or irritating to him or now, and nodded, "Well, hopefully these are a better option then for lounging and reading." or studying, he guessed.

Nothing wrong with being comfortable and cozy while learning about something. Or relearning about something.

Peter was quiet a moment at the question and shook his head slightly, "...not for this long." he admitted after a moment. This was one of those things that was tricky to answer and he threw a glance over at the camera in the corner that was trained on them before shifting slightly. Thinking over how to try and explain it, without actually detailing what it was that happened, "...this is going to be one of those answers that might be a lot so, stop me if you need to, okay?" he chewed his lip and looked back at Harry, "....you were sick, really sick." Peter paused and shook his head slightly, "You were dying, but no one knew how to stop it, and so you figured out a treatment plan for yourself. It wasn't a cure, and it wasn't perfect or easy for you, or on you, to come up with. But it did help, and it gave you time. A lot more time than you would have had otherwise, but it didn't come without...I guess you could call them side effects."

Reaching out, he touched the glass lightly and slowly started drawing a circle over it, "First few days, you were a lot like this...and you told me a lot about what it was like. The parts that were hard and the parts that weren't. That's how I have an idea about it, like that maybe you want more space right now...but also not to do anything like move fast, or anything else that sounded like a stresser for you those days. Then those side effects would start to lessen, not go away but get easier to manage, or to ignore as long as nothing too bad suddenly came up." like supervillain fights or surprise multiversal travel.

The circle was drawn up towards the top towards where it started, "But eventually, all the effects of the treatment would lessen. You'd get sick again, and you'd have to go through it all over again." Peter stopped and didn't pull his hand away from the glass right away, "I don't know if what you're feeling now is the same as those first few days, or if it's worse, or less, but I can tell you that you shut yourself in those days and didn't see anyone until it passed so it was at least similar. I don't know if it'll lessen from what it is now either or just get easier as you get used to it but...I've seen you like this, and I've seen you be okay. That's gotta still count for something, doesn't it?"

|| @inhcritance ||

#localwebslingers #localwebslingers | peter tasm #(( verse: earth 1048 | post sm2 goblin ))

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itischeese · 1 year ago

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this has been done before.

#look me in the eyes and tell me this didn't happen at some point #you can't.#I think I'm funny #the best part about this is that it would work #I imagine it would also lead to some uncomfortable realizations...#lol #i missed my physical therapy appointment for this #nurt #kakaobi #kakashi #naruto #obikaka #kkob #obkk #hatake kakashi #kakashi x obito #tobito #uchiha obito #chearts

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inbabylontheywept · 5 months ago

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bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

#dating stories #anecdotes #long post #funny story #babylon #im really bad at dating #like i can do a lot better than this but also it just was kind of a nightmare for me #shit like this did make the whole thing easier tho #like #every date after this i could go you know ive seen how bad it can get #and i lived #didnt even get shot #writing

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inkskinned · 1 month ago

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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

#warm up #prose #i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999 #like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT #but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny #what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person #(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like #an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral #and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her #still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago #still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.

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