#look me in eyes and tell me they arent in love
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You've probably heard it before but I'll be honest. Having the parents I did and still do only helped me become America's next greatest spy. I could recognize who was walking down the hallway, how close they were, which way they were going, where they stopped, and why they were going where they were going all with like. 3 steps.
It taught me how to lie to someone without showing any signs of being dishonest. I could look someone in they eye perfectly and tell them that I was born with green nails -- and they might even believe me. I had guilt for the wrong things. I was never scared of an action but instead how bad I would get a beating from my dad instead.
Once, my mom told me that if I had been hit more as a kid, that maybe I would've been raised right and gotten better grades (This was over an A- in my Algebra class). I just stood there. Dumbfounded.
Even when they hit you and bust up your lip and worse, they still pull out the "This is nothing." or the "I've never done this before to you, compared to (Someone else's messed up parents)" line. It never gets old. And it does, actually, start to make you think that maybe they arent so bad. that's not true.
"We didn't raise you like this!!" Yeah, but you know how you did raise me? Alone. Scared. Unable to comprehend how my own BODY works. Unable to understand how my life isn't my grades and academic achievements. You raised me to not understand that you can have love and good grades.
Generational toxic masculinity.
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At this point Kazurei isn't even subtext anymore:
- Kazuki moving in with Rei and taking care of him, including cutting his hair and giving baths and cooking for him and even buying furniture (to make it look like more like a home
- Kazuki immediatelly going after Rei when sensing that Rei was going to distance himself again from him
- Rei's dad making a point to say how their fsmily is pure blooded and dont mingle with others, while directly saying he wants Rei to continue the family (aka having children) and then implying he would get rid of Kazuki if he got in the way...
- Rei's dad then also immediatelly sending him to kill a guy who was going to leave the organisation due to finding love...
#like look at me in my eyes and tell me this isnt a romance plot#LOOK INTO MY EYES AND TELL ME THEY ARENT IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER#I am so fucking unwell how am I going to survive till next friday#kazurei#buddy daddies#buddy daddies episode 8#kurusu kazuki#suwa rei
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I want you to tell ‘em that you love the way that they don’t stick out like sore middle fingers
[Continuation of this]
#TMNT 2012#casey jones 2012#raphael hamato#rasey#this is platonic again but I’m not against romantic subtext or whatever#when I was in school being able to do this with your hand was super cool and I often still do it with both#but I’ve met both adults and kids who’ve never seen it before and it freaks them out ahaha#anyway I was jus thinking of hands again and this is a warm up sketch#but i do think thee two would have heart to hearts on rooftops sometimes and really open up#maybe theyre sat next to eachother and raph looks at his thigh next to Casey’s and gets self conscious#maybe one of them was hurt in a fight (probably Casey) and theyre patching eachother up and they just start exploring their differences#or maybe its something as simple as raph asking casey if he was Tarzan and the scene with the hands and Casey’s like yo we can do that#or even more childish theyre just doing it to see who’s hands bigger because Casey’s sister has been doing it a lot and its fun#because let me tell you it doesnt matter how old the kids i work with are they all love comparing my hand with theirs#but i imagine Raphs eyes for a second would give away hes upset a little cause he’s definitely the most self conscience about being a mutant#so Casey would do this and be like ahh look see we arent that different really#raph could bend his fingers to emphasise how much shorter Casey’s are#and cause would say something like these digits might be small but theyre mighty#leading to a shove or even a thumb war or something#anyway ill stop gushing i have a comission to do xxx#OH OH OH THE BITE MARK ON CASEY IS BECAUSE A MUTUAL COMMENTS ABOUT EATING MY RASEY ART SO THATS THEIR TEETH but im not naming names....
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(do you love me like that?) you're a reckless driver (I'm a reckless driver) and one day it will kill us if I —
#yellowjacketsedit#yjedit#akilahmari#lyricsongifs#yellowjacketscentral#ok i WANT TO DISCLAIM. im not 100% sold on pitgirl mari im not 100% sold on anything. the show will tell me when its ready!#that SAID im incapable of giffing unless theres tragedy involved and also i think it would be an interesting trajectory for them#akilahmari work imo because while different they are both very vulnerable in the same way#they want to be seen and cared for and they arent in an environment where thats easy#and like. yeah the you tell me all the time to keep my eyes on the road gif IS the gay scenes#but its also akilah being in tune with people and their emotions. ofc she knows taivan love each other ofc she knows lottienat need a momen#and later ofc she knows lottie and nat need a moment!!! that skill serves her as tension escalates#whereas mari cannot read a room + does not filter herself. and akilah often gets the best of that from her!#but also. akilah shoots her a look when she presses javi about the missing bear meat. but also. mari isnt wrong to be concerned#mari is vulnerable and scared !!!AND!!! heavily concerned about survival. so whereas akilah and mari are both scared to hunt javi#mari is the second to run to grab javis body. akilah follows still horrified. mari is better suited to survive in a lot of ways#but also tends to step on toes!!! but also mari is so loyal and so like. attentive? eager? in a way akilah isnt#so mari says more controversial things but ultimately follows status quo in a way akilah is less inclined to#even in terms of skills mari can cook and akilah can sew but eventually what good is stitching people up when they need to eat. you know.#IDK i think theyre soooo interesting and im rly looking forward to their relationship hopefully developing bc i think theyre cute and fun#but i think their dyn could get sooooo interesting. even in terms of letting mari go. like. many connotations#akilah can giggle when the jokes are still funny and they can find each other in any given space. but does that matter if it cant save them#anyway ive run out of tags to tag the chars for my blog and im being really brave about it btw.#also its 2 am and i wanna post and im being even braver about that (not deleting this tag but its not 2 am my time as i post im drafting<3)
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Win and Team should have just asked then and there what they were to each other
because lads, the way they look at each to other
is answer enough
#so blatantly fond of each other but theyre so terrified of their feelings they rather dance around each other than admit theyre in love#look at me in the eyes and tell me that both of them arent half way in love with each other already#me screaming at them every episode to just get married#winteam#between us#between us the series
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They r something serious to me
#Thank u for gving me the chance to hear so what and let me in at leadt once in my life#And i hope the security who just Observed me and a homeless guy almost physically get into it has a horrible week and month#Men arent shit tell me why i kept making eye contact with a guy in line to get him to come over and help me deal with the guy cus idc about#myself i can handld these people even when they have a weapon but when he startedgetting into the faces of the girls next to me?#I was pissed tf off and the guy in line looked over AND LOOKED AWAY 😹#On a nicer note me and choerry r meant to be im serious we r locked in#Both tours im sat next to her and did a heart .. and she the only one who looks at me during soundcheck#I Love You Forever Twin
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Sorry again for party rocking but. Regarding my recent post, i just dont think any one of those characters can be ruled off as total freaks. No normal person can kill as many as we do and not be weird about blood a little. Or at the very least not against trying. GUYS WAIT COME BACK IM SORRY
#halsin ? freak. we knew this. plus its *a natural remedy*#gale ? hes weird. and willing. it would take very little convincing. especially given his. opinions on hygiene.#laezel ? 'enough waiting. i crave blood'#<her words not mine#astarion ? . bitch please. next question.#shadowheart ? i honestly havent romanced her but i think she would be okay recieving#karlach ? name a barbarian that doesnt love blood. look me in the eyes and tell me she doesnt love pussy. youre lying#is that all of them i would feel bad if i forgot.#jahiera and minsc and whoever else arent romanceable and im not counting them
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first blueberry of june! :0
#was looking at the bushes covered in green and slightly purple berries and saw a big blue one#its still a tiny bit purple so i will save it for tomorrow or even the next day tonhave on my birthday lol#but maybe not bc there's tons of birds that nest around the blueberry bushes#most years the birds get 90% of the berries as soon as they're ripe lol#anyway#june!!! i love you june!!!!#best month by far#and now the disgusting heat wave has broken its real june weather (mid 70 degrees) 😌#and its weekend finally#and my eye surgery is done and they didn't accidentally blind me w the brught lazer that hurt and seemed so bright#i was like surely these eye shields arent in properly im gonna go blind from retina damage during this procedure for my corneas 😭#which was a genuine risk#and since i had the shields i was essentially blinded during the procedure so i couldn't tell if i'd be able to see when they came off lol#i made it!!#and its a lovely weekend in june <3#and there's cows outside#this has been a shitpost#personal#surgery 1 of 4 done!!!!
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#EXCYSE ME#IMSK NORMAL ABOUT THUS#IF THIS AINT REAL LOVE I DONT KNOW#I WOULD DO THAY#I WANT TO SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR YOU AND THIS IS A SMALL THING TO SHOW IT#if i dont destroy myself for love im not actually in love#love is when looking at urself alone becomes painful bc youre not beside me#love is getting flashbacks of your hand in mine so vivid and painful#love is hating myself for being a human bc humans arent perfect and i wish i was perfect for u#love is loving myself every next day because you said you said you loved the soup i made you#love is judging myself and questioning my excistence when you tell me One thing but being my happiest self whan you say Another thing#my love is messy and strong large and hard but its real and its here even if yoh dont feel her presence#i hope u feel her presence when i look into your eyes and see everything when in some people i see nothinf#you make me feel everything i could ever feel and this makes it a rollercoaster#i hope u love a mess bc its sure i am one#poetry
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i need to finish old projects
also me: okay what about new bullshit???
#in my very very very small defense#YALL ARENT MY MOM AND CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO#i love procreate#its so nice to zone out and do dumb shit like this#those catchlights are looking rough#oof#in fact ignore that whole eye area#for my one fan who likes my make up lol
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You know it kind of sucks to see discourse about whether or not me and people like me should exist. Like just the fact that it's even a question in the first place sucks.
#ramblings of an arrow#I really need to make more friends that just arent christian at this point#like I still love my religious friends very much#but the fact that its an actual question being asked and that the majority answer is no like SUCKS dude#like holy shit and yall wonder why ppl leave the churh in droves#why there are so few queer christians#like its so fucking difficult to exist in a space where your right to exist is up for debate#its exhausting#like even if you arent outright saying it you make it so obvious you dont want ppl like me around#that the fact that I exist is either abhorrent or just too awkward to acknowledge#also sorry not sorry that my marriage is healthier that all but like 2 christian marriages ive ever seen#my lesbian ass is better at having a healthy loving marriage and good sex than most of you will ever be#youre gonna look at me and tell me that its wrong? really??#can you look me in the eye as you treat my existence as something to be ignored or spoken about in hushed tones#oh hide your children I might corrupt them because I exist being a loving caring adoring spouse to my wife#you dont like to talk about us or acknowledge us unless its to debate our right to be#as if that should even be a fucking question in the first place#im sorry i just.... this gets exhausting sometimes#im not gonna apologize for existing or try to hide the parts of me that make you uncomfortable#I am queer as hell I am a dyke I am a faggot I am a tranny and thats not gonna change no matter what you want#I adore my wife she adores me and I never felt this level of deep abiding compassionate love in christian spaces#your love comes with strings attached even though I know you want to believe it doesnt
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so someone told me that me hyping them up all the time has significantly increased their self esteem and now when they wake up in the morning they think 'fuck yeah im so cool' and it's made life so much better
#THIS MADE MY DAY IM TELLING YOU#YES YOU GO COOL PERSON YOU ARE AMAZING#AND I LOVE YOU#AND I WISH EVERYONE OF YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF THROUGH MY EYES#YOUR FAULT IS NOTHING BUT A FUNNY LITTLE QUIRK TO ME#BLANK CANVASES ARENT GOOD TO LOOK AT WE NEED MASALA AND COLOUR#I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH#AND I WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL YOU START THINKING LIKE THIS#shitposts#shanti ki ashanti suno#positivity
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Oh yeah I tried out Pokerogue today, three runs in I'm already at 151 and still going
this is the only game where i can assemble a meowscarada/raticate, flamigo, magneton, meowstic, excadrill, and fearow to face a trainer's SHINY RAYQUAZA WITH TWO HEALTH BARS and still win the fight
if you ever play this flamigo is fucking STACKED
#also good time to mention that i very suddenly LOVE the espurr line (mostly espurr) and it isnt even because of this#look at espurr's eyes and tell me they arent just autism the pokemon
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Ngl I don't think I need to reblog your internet positivity post to respect all these minorities you're mentioning
#they dont need me to tell them i love them on the internet because the fact i treat them like theyre people is proof enough#reblog to show support for trans women. reblog to show support for BLACK trans women. reblog to show support for black DISABLED trans women#idk how theyre helped in any way by text posts. your support should come from treating them like people and standing up to fuckheads.#if someones getting targeted or ostracized for being specifically a trans woman you dont call them a transphobic misogynist.#what you do is you look that man in the eye and ask whats wrong with him. why hes being an asshole. that hes an oversensitive loser#they dont care about your big words they care about their pride. get down on their level. hit them where it hurts.#yall seriously need a lesson in treating people like theyre human. support isnt placing people on a pedestal its going to bat when necessary#ever hear ''actions speak louder than words''? thats what that means. anyone can say anything#the problem is not that you arent telling these people you love them. the problem is that other people are telling them they arent human
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fellow fictives my babes my darlings i am BEGGING YOU to stop tagging your very personal stuff with ships relating to your fictive-shape and then start talking about whether or not you ''condone'' these ships entirely purely based on your personal comfort as if youre talking about law. do what you want with your own irl body and relationships. you are not part of shipping. you are a real person. i am BEGGING YOU PERSONALLY to not partake in the crossing of these lines
#my t#and holy fuck stop worrying about 'the morality' of dating ppl wrt pearl-clutching antishipping ideologies#you are not. fictional. you are a person. this is just basic conservative brand homophobia.#you are functionally a conservative in my eyes if you use an antishipping/fanpol lens to delegate whether or not irl relationships are#allowed to exist or not. and then you say yall are progressive. STOP IT!!!!#if you want to or are already going out with another fictive of an appropriate age then DO SO FREELY REGARDLESS OF SHAPE/NAME#i mean holy fuck yall#our bro calls our partner systems dave his husband and vice versa because theyve been together for *11 fucking years*#yes. they are beta dirk and dave shaped. no they are not related#no they are not and have never done anything wrong by dating#they are both adults. they are a gay couple whove been together longer than some of yall have been active in fandom. they are nearly 30.#and if ANYONE has the gall to say they shouldnt be together i'll kill you!!!! i dont care!!!! i'll kill you with my mind beam!!!!#its fucking weird that yall do this to yourselves and other fictives#its just straight up homophobia to tell a queer fictive its amoral to like/date/be in love with another queer fictive#i dunno guys!!!! the way we talk abt fictives#and esp the way other fictives talk about fictives as a whole and then treat other fictives through that#makes me REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE#i am not!!!!!!! your fantasy!!!!!!!! my relationships arent fandom-political!!!!!! i am a real fucking person!!!!!#i hate hate hate the thought of posting alter art again and having a stranger come around and say 'hey i think ur from my timeline'#purely based on our metaphysical looks#its happened before and it was so fucking unnerving it made us feel dirty and used#''this is such a nonissue john why are u talking abt it'' because we've been used and groomed and abused through this culture before!!!!!#and i want to stop seeing it!!!!!#and i want other ppl to stop seeing it as a purely good thing rather than chasing & entertaining delusion & perpetuating misery!!!!
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Vent
#i know im selfish but i know you wont talk to me as much. if at all. when you get to go meet people again#and that makes me really sad#and also my inferiority complex and self image issues are flaring like crazy#i want to be worthy of you.#you told me yourself that your “ideal version of me” is when im fit. and youre someone that lose interest in low iq people#i should work harder#i hate feeling inferior to anyone and i dont want to lose. and i dont want to lose you. well you werent mine from the start#i wish you would think of me as often as i think of you. once i realized youre the same height as my doorframe#i cant stop imagining you#standing next to me#telling a dumb cheesy joke#i shouldn't love you#i shouldnt even think of you. youre absolutely horrible news for my stability#but im still here and i still hard to breathe when i think of you#i am not a jealous person. but imagining how youll go back to your 15 fwbs that all are way prettier than i#and in the same city#actually you got them in every city. how could you not. you look like a model#i wish you looked at me with the same sort of eyes#when you break your dry spell from being sick i am going to throw up. but maybe then ill be able to let go at last#im hopeless arent i lmao#womanizer#you did this to me#also how dare you tell me your ideal of me would be fit. how dare you tell me “noone is good as they are”.#“theres what looks good on you and what would be good for you#and youd get both if you lost fat and gained muscle instead“#how dare you#youre lucky i get what you mean because if i didnt itd have triggered a living hell#i hate you and i hate that i love you and i hate that youre so oblivious and clumsy with comments like these#i hate that your compliments sound like youre trying to avoid telling them. i hate that you never tell me you want me. i hate yiu#i hate that you don't truly understand. i hate that youve hurt me so many times. i hate that you never meant any of it. i hate you
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