#look if clowns keep coming to my inbox I'm turning off anon

[carol-ing]

From your perspective: What is it that lesbians are attracted to in women that we cannot be in men?

It can’t be feminine performance (that’s sexist to claim and obviously false)

It can’t being a female human according to you, apparently,

despite all the evidence studying sexual orientation in 2 sex species to the contrary (seriously how do you think they identify nonhuman homosexuals? Asking pronouns? Nah. Lesbian lions are female lions who only choose to be sexual with female lions)

Vibes? No, too vague. Pronouns or statement of identity(tm)? No, any man could just say the words and not mean it… also again how tf is that meant to evolve. By saying that you claim gayness is a social construct only. Same for saying it’s anyone who feels connected to “lesbian culture” uwu. Pretty clearly false, xenophobic (defining one set lesbian culture) and homophobic.

How about kindness, or bravery, or any other positive trait? Or physical things like muscles. Wait no, those are human traits men can have as well.

Soooooooo what is it? What do you think drives lesbian attraction solely to women and not to men?

Clearly you want me to answer that it's the fucking pussy.

I don't know how to explain to you that being a woman shouldn't be dependent on someone being sexually attracted to you.

[hurlingdown]

Please 🍶 anon. I’m a married man 👉💍

Though that does give me so many good ideas..

Pretending to be Muzan’s husband, a slayer finding you both in the cities so you have to press him against the wall and kiss him breathless to keep undercover. One thing leads to another and you’re fucking him in both his female and male form. He is humiliated with the noises he’s making and the way his body is trembling in your hold, he’s almost tempted to kill you.. but then you give him the most earth shattering orgasm and suddenly you’re his right hand man. Fucking him in every room of the infinity castle, sucking him off against the tree in the middle of an abandoned path, eating him out bent over against a well in the middle of a town during the night.

He even slips up and calls you his husband to one of the upper moons.

Toji getting married for money.. unhappy but not on the streets. His fat, rich husband dragging him to a fancy party - he’s bored out of his mind but he’ll do anything for a bag, and then he feels eyes on the back of his head - a cursed spirit under the guise of a tall, handsome businessman, watching him with burning insatiable need.

Toji’s done a lot of fucked up things for money, but none of them felt this good. Back arching as the curse fucks him deep and hard, his stupid husband calling his name as he gets fucked in the bathroom stall. Another fat wad of cash shoved between his tits to answer him, calling out that he’s fine and he’ll be out in a minute as your second set of hands begins to stroke and prod at his already stuffed hole.

Maybe big bad husband Crocodile finding no other option to discipline Buggy, calling you in - his prized bodyguard - to fuck some manners into the clown. Grabbing a hold of his bottom half as Mihawk grabs his head, forcing him to look as you and Crocodile kiss atop his decapitated body, your cock sinking inside him slowly.

Or even being Caesar Clowns ‘Work husband’ - a title he gave you and pretended everyone else gave it to you and he was disgusted by the prospect, though he never once stopped using it - you’re his assistant, bringing him snacks and drinks, getting files and viles.

One day bringing him a magenta vile labelled ‘dangerous’ ‘do not drink’ ‘do not inhale’, you’re oh so careful with this stupid little bottle when you’re tripped - Caesars tendril of smoke whisping back into his cloud coat. But instead of the vile landing on you like he had planned, it lands straight into his big mouth, draining the contents as his face turns bright red. Not even a minute later he’s leaking and begging you on his hands and knees that he needs your babies in him, he needs your dick inside of him and for you to breed him like livestock. Fucking little creep was trying to roofie you, well now you had all the means for some revenge.

Anyway, the bunny Zoro fic was fucking delicious. I need that bunny boy to come back whining for reader to cuddle and snuggle and fuck him stupid again.

Love you Hurlers.

- 🐉

Btw, have you watched My Hero? I have been trying to find someone to talk about All Might with. The way they have him in this newest episode has my dick drippinggg 😫😫

MUZAN AND TOJI??? WHAT A GOOD DAY TO BE ALIVE. just finished reading another banger thirst in my inbox and then i'm placed face to face with this. i seriously love you all.

no kidding. sugar baby toji is the singular best take on his character in the world of fanfics, and reader being a curse fits so well, i'm in awe. and caesar clown and aphrodisiacs mix so well, holy fucking shit. i'm going to be super busy after this month ends.

and yeah, i've watched mha. :) i'm not caught up with the latest two seasons, but i'm familiar with the lore up to s5. go ahead and rant about all might!!! thank you for the obscenely delicious thirsts!!!

[theneighborhoodwatch]

an update

apologies for any erratic or otherwise concerning behavior on my part that you may have noticed, neighbors! i won't get into the gritty details, but as it turns out, i May have been experiencing a nervous breakdown over these past few weeks. not because of welcome home, mind you. it was a number of things in my personal life, and i've been feeling much better since i've been finally able to address it - but it has made me Reevaluate a few things wrt how i've been going about things here, so i'll be going over those in a quick little numbered list under the cut:

i am no longer running or even in the discord server. one of the moderators, @/doctorcottonghost, offered to take it off my hands, and i accepted. ergo, i will no longer be able to answer any questions about whether or not invites or open.

in a similar vein, i've removed the "community areas" section on my links page. i do not think it was doing me any favors to be Constantly Aware of these large swathes of people. if you came from r/WelcomeHomeNeighbor, however, you are still free to peruse my observation document and send in questions/findings/etc. once my inbox opens back up (and do see if they need more mods over there!)

i do not plan on abandoning the observation document! i will still update it to the best of my ability as each update comes. i love archiving/cataloguing/etc., so it's a source of great joy in my life (and i really need to move the backup links section to its own page, anyway. it's been hard to find time for it since my computer broke.)

more of a reminder than an update, and i'm aware that i have no Actual control over people's actions, but i'll restate this in no uncertain terms for anyone who cares (at the risk of looking like a bit of a kiss-ass): please do keep clown's boundaries in mind - TL;DR: no public nsfw, no merch. both of these are subject to change in the future. that's it. do not exaggerate, do not try to find loopholes, and for the love of god, do not threaten people into following these boundaries or spread misinformation just to make it seem like you have a point. if you see someone continue to ignore these boundaries while they are still up - or even your own personal ones! - after being informed of them, be a goddamn adult, use the goddamn block button, and don't give them any more of your time or attention. (and probably report them, if we're talking about merch.)

i may need more time before i open my inbox back up. i haven't been in quite the right State of Mind for deep speculation, so i want to get through the more lighthearted stuff first before working my way up to those. once i've cleared everything out, i'll probably open my inbox back up - but anon may stay off for some time.

and i think that's everything! now i am going to have a nice big dinner and then i'll come back and Attempt to answer some asks. i've also taken down my more mopey posts from the past 2 days, so i don't clog this blog. have a nice evenin'.

[applctini]

RULES &&. GUIDES

GENERAL

i am a pretty flexible partner, but i can also be equally as slow when it comes to replying. i work anywhere from 32-42+ hours a week, this is a hobby not my life. as much as i respect your time in replying, please respect mine. never assume i've forgotten about a thread, because i promise you i haven't - i'm just a slow sloth.

i do not mind slight godmodding, as the characters of the hazbin/helluva verse are immortal, deities, creatures, etc. of supernatural origins. powers, strength, magic, voodoo, religion, all of it is bound to come into play one way or another. lucifer himself is an insanely strong being - he just doesn't use his power very often. the only thing that bugs me is others assuming what goes on in lucifer's head. the old cuck doesn't even know what's going in his brain except monkey banging cymbals.

no anon hate, i think that?? goes without saying lmao. it'll be deleted immediately. you can bully lucifer as much as you want, but i'm not tolerating that nonsense thank you.

YES !! those starter calls are for you baby! i want to interact with you. YES !! those memes i reblog everyday are for you !! i want you to pester me, lucifer, i adore having a full inbox because memes and asks are the BEST way to get my attention. you thinking you're not sure if it's for you? send in your own asks !! unprompted shit is my FAVORITE thing to see pop up on my phone as a notification. do it, bug me!! i'm not that scary, i am probably the biggest baby you'd ever meet tbh.

my icons are edited for me and me only, please do not take them, but i am more willing to share where i got the bases from so you can have your own !!

FOLLOWING

tbh i don't always look at my followers, i've been on this website since i was a kid. however that doesn't mean i'm not gonna follow you back. i mentioned i was slow, right? yeah, that - at most it takes me 2-5 days to follow back unless for some odd reason i really didn't see your follow. tumblr loves not notifying me anyways, so just keep that in mind !!

this is a roleplay blog. i will not interact with personals and i hope you respect that to not interact/reblog my posts. i won't block you so long as you respect this one thing i ask of. you're welcome to follow, read my things, but do not reblog anything from me that comes from me.

i don't do the whole follow-for-follow. that always annoyed me, it still does. i don't get it... just, no lmao. if i follow you, i wanna follow you. i wanna interact with you, not to just be a number.

OC's should NEVER feel discouraged with me !! my main multi is mostly oc's, i live off of oc's. i love them. i only ask that there's a base page where i can receive some sort of information on them - it doesn't have to be elaborate, but i wanna know them !!

TRIGGERS &&. NSFW

this blog will be heavy with mental health topics. it'll contain depression, panic disorders, anxiety, ptsd, thoughts of self harm, acts of self harm, martyr complex, and much more. if you are sensitive to these topics or anything you think might lead to these topics, please turn around and do not follow me. i tag everything, but this will be a big chunk of my blog regarding headcanons, certain threads, etc.

i adore writing smut, any forms of it, but i don't write it with strangers. it often comes with just shipping with me, which we'll talk about below. however, if we share a ship (or more !!) i don't mind writing it with you, any form, or at any time. i love the intimacy (or even lack there of oops-) when it comes to sharing a body with someone.

MULTISHIP YAY OR NAY?

YAY!! I am multiship*, i will gladly toss this clown around to anyone like the switch he is lmao.

i love ships, but i also ship with chemistry. i don't like forcing myself to fall for a ship that doesn't hit me and i wouldn't want to do that to a partner either !! it's easy to be a people pleaser on this site, but don't be afraid to tell me if something isn't working for you, i don't take any offense to it. we're all adults here, we can talk like them with our big words.

*i will mention more about my shipping in this post.

WRITING

i write typically from para to novella, occasional crackhead behavior here and there with one-liners. my asks usually wind up on the longer side falling into drabble territory because i love setting a scene, describing such little details that it's probably annoying lmao. you don't have to match me word-for-word, but i would appreciate if length was kept to similar status.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

me? i'm star, i'm 24 turning 25 currently. i work in retail, like i said i can be very busy during my workdays and may not always be available here. if you have my discord, don't feel discouraged to message me there, or even here if you don't. i will always try to make time between watching my department to reply to you. i'm often closing on my shifts, so usually by the end of the night i'm more eager to reply and like a chirping bird most nights. i'm under EDT currently (UTC -4H) so you can gauge my days.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Hon' if you are accepting prompts (and only if you are!) can I have some spooky Sansa and Jon? I'm still not over them in spooky scenarios so I would love to read anything about it.

And for something a little more specific (in case that helps): maybe ghost!Sansa and Jon moves to her place and she is not happy, but also she loves his dog?

Or maybe Addams AU!

Or maybe Jon is the ghost and Sansa moves into his place?

Or they are talkshow hosts or something and a ghost is trying to get them together?

Or maybe YouTubers AU and their followed bug them until they agree to a Collab and it's Halloween or something like that?

Okay I went all over the place and clearly have too many ideas, but feel free to choose any of you do choose something!

First of all, I guess I'm sort of always taking prompts? I'll never turn them away, though they may also sit in my inbox forever (I'm looking at you, the last anon prompt from when I asked for them back in December...)

Second, spooky prompts! ❤️👻❤️👻❤️ If there's anything I love in this world, it's the supernatural/paranormal. And it may be the middle of summer, but I'm already longing for spooky season and I've been trying to vibe with it but it's hard when the days are so long, hot, and humid. (I desperately want to be able to go outside and not feel like I'm breathing soup, thank you very much.)

Before I get to the prompt itself, because I'm too wordy for my own good - your one prompt of Sansa/Jon is a ghost and the other moves in to their place... well, I've read that fic! It's actually locked on AO3 and I don't know if that means the author doesn't really want people finding it/linking to it, so I won't, but I guess DM me if you wanna know what it is?? I don't know the protocol for that. There's also Haunt Me, Then by the lovely @ode-to-an-inkwell which I read back when I was lurking and I loved it. It's the same base premise, but with a ton more plot!

The prompt I have chosen is the youtuber collab! Because I also love writing about/dissecting social media, apparently.

.

.

Sansa breathes – deep and even – and tries to stay centered in the middle of her group (away from the edges, away from the dark corners and the sounds coming from them and the people she knows are waiting for her there).

She wishes with all her strength that her followers had never found out that she's related to Robb. It's not something she was hiding, necessarily, but when she started her channel, she'd kept a lot of her personal life private. And honestly, she never thought it would get to this point – the point where she has millions of followers and Robb and Theon have millions of followers and those followers inevitably found out she and Robb are siblings.

A collab had been unavoidable. She just wishes it were any other activity than... this.

She lets out a strangled scream as something crashes to her right and she stumbles left, straight into the other person who's been dragged along tonight – Jon Snow. He catches her arm and keeps her upright and she almost thanks him until she hears him let out a laugh. It infuriates her and she rips her arm out of his grasp and sends him a glare, though it's short lived when she sees what looks like a jar of eyeballs on a shelf behind him and bile twists in her stomach.

She hates Halloween - she hates horror movies and jump scares and gore, and she especially hates haunted houses. But what else should she have expected for this collab? Robb and Theon have a dumb prank channel, of course they'd bring her – notorious wimp Sansa Stark – to a haunted house for the video. She thinks Robb got permission to film, because Dacey and Olyvar are flanking them with cameras to capture everyone's reactions.

“It's all fake,” Jon reminds her, though she barely hears his voice over the din of sound effects echoing through the dark corridor as they pass from one room to another.

“I know that,” she hisses, heart pounding wildly. They approach a doorway and – sure enough – right as she passes through, there's a person with heavy special effects makeup waiting on the other side to grab at her (another thing she resents – this is one of those places where the actors can touch you. They'd had to sign a waver). She screams in the actor's faux-bloody face and she swears he laughs at her.

In front of her, Robb and Theon are being obnoxious as usual. She doesn't really condone their prank channel and has often had to reign them in from doing something that would get one of them needlessly hurt (or would be considered, you know, illegal). Jon is usually an unwilling participant in their videos, and he has his own woodworking channel that has nowhere near the viewership that her makeup channel or Robb and Theon's prank channels do (she's told him, over an over, that if he showed his face on camera, he'd get more viewers, but he insists that he wants the focus to be on his work, not him). Jon walks next to her, calm, like nothing in this place fazes him, and she sort of resents him for this.

She understands it's all fake, she's not stupid, but that doesn't stop her fear response from kicking in every time something jumps at her, every time lights flicker or go out. It doesn't stop her stomach from turning whenever she sees the needlessly gory scenes like that doctor cutting a girl open, her fake intestines spilling out as the actress screamed.

“It'll be over soon,” Jon leans in close so she can hear him better, and for a moment a sense of calm washes over her. She loses it, though, as he moves away to give her space and she panics and reaches out and grabs his hand, tugging him back close to her.

A strange look passes over his face, but he doesn't say anything, just lets her grab onto his arm as they continue through the haunted house. She can't explain it, but with Jon next to her she feels... safe. She knows none of this is real, she knows none of these actors will actually hurt her, but it doesn't seem to matter, and it doesn't seem to matter that Jon won't actually have to protect her (though she somehow knows that he would if he ever had to, and that's a strange realization to have as she's walking through a room of terrifying clowns).

When it's finally over and they're outside, she breathes a sigh of relief and she feels muscles that she hadn't even realized were tensed relax.

“That was awesome,” Theon nearly shouts at one of the cameras. He and Robb talk loudly and animatedly for the cameras about the house, summarizing it for their audience (she knows they're likely to cut out a lot of the extreme scares and gore, since a good portion of their audience are kids and young teens).

“You good?” Jon murmurs to her and she realizes she still has a death grip on his arm.

“Oh,” she breathes with a forced laugh, “yeah,” and she lets go of his arm and immediately wishes she could have it back. (And then, some part of her brain whispers that she wishes she could have his arm wrapped around her instead, but she pushes that thought out because where did that even come from?)

Jon brings a hand up to scratch at his beard and shifts on his feet and she wonders if its because he feels awkward on camera. Jon's never liked being on camera, not really – it's why Robb and Theon always have to catch him off guard and why his videos – at most – only feature his hands and forearms (the comments on his videos about how attractive his hands and forearms are had been one of her main arguments for showing his face, but Jon had gotten weird after that and so she'd dropped it eventually).

“Hayride next?” Robb asks, which brings her back to the present.

“There's more?” she whines, twisting her face into a pout that always got her out of trouble when she was a kid, but Robb and Theon are already making their way towards the next attraction.

“You can sit next to me,” Jon offers, and she feels relief flood through her. “I'll be on the outside.”

She feels herself smile for the first time all night and nods and she's even more pleased when he – after a moment of hesitation – holds out his arm for her to take. She does so, curling her own arms around his and hugging it to her, keeping herself as close to him as possible as they walk through the fairgrounds to the haunted hayride.

They arrive right behind Robb and Theon and when Robb sees the way she's basically clinging to his best friend, there's a look that she can't figure out – it flicks from their joined arms, to Jon, then back to their arms, then to her, then back to Jon again and she feels Jon stiffen up next to her. Something silent passes between them and Robb looks almost... concerned? But then Jon shakes his head so subtly she thinks she's not supposed to see it and Robb nods back and turns around to face Theon and the cameras and Sansa's left more confused than anything.

The next tractor and wagon pull up to the entrance and the previous riders disembark. She waits with Jon, and though there's a slight fluttering in her stomach, she's not terrified like she had been right before the haunted house. Jon keeps his word and as they climb onto the open-topped wagon, he lets her sit in the middle and he takes the outside so she won't have to deal with the actors that run up to them during the ride. She settles into the hay and, without thinking, leans her head on his shoulder, arm still linked through his.

“Thank you,” she says.

“Robb and Theon shouldn't have made you do this,” Jon says back and his voice sounds a bit shaky. She can't see his face, she's too comfortable resting her head against him to look up, but she wonders why he sounds nervous. Maybe he's more scared of all of this than he was letting on? He hadn't seemed nervous at all in the haunted house.

“Don't worry, I'm going to have so much fun giving them a full face of glam makeup when it's time to make the video for my channel.” That's the point of this collab – she does a video for their channel and they do one for hers.

Jon lets out a soft laugh as the tractor starts up and the wagon lurches forward, heading into the dark forest. “Can I watch?”

“Definitely,” she says as she squeezes his arm tighter, her heart jumping at a noise off in the woods – a signal that the scares are about to start. “You should let me do your makeup,” she continues to try and distract herself. “I think glam makeup would look amazing with your beard.”

“Sure,” she can feel his shoulder lift into a shrug, and that does make her lift her head up and look at him.

“You would? I thought you hated being on camera?”

He shrugs again, but whatever response he was going to give is cut off as an actor takes a running leap at the wagon, latching onto the side and pulling himself up, and the passenger nearest to him (right in front of Jon) screams. Sansa sucks in a breath and tries to calm her racing heart (and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Dacey with a camera pointed right at her and Jon, a smirk on her face).

She spends the rest of the ride (and all through the haunted corn maze), hanging onto Jon for dear life and she swears his calm presence is the only reason she survives.

(And when she finally gets home to her little apartment and gets into bed, she tries desperately not to think too hard about why that is. She tries not to analyze the safety she felt with him or the way her heart had been fluttering during the car ride home, sitting in Robb's back seat and staring at Jon's profile illuminated by moonlight in the front seat as he and Robb talked and joked around. She tries not to obsess about the way he'd told her to call him if she ever wanted him to be in one of her videos, tries not to read too much into the look Robb had given Jon when he said it.)

(She tells herself that the reason she can't sleep that night is because of the haunted house.)

(It's definitely not because of Jon.)