#look i said i wasnt organizing this lol

[beesinspades]

livestream of me and the neurologist after he told me the MRI came out normal and the only possible diagnosis left for my weird ongoing symptoms is......anxiety:

[feyburner]

This is part of a longer thing I may post on ao3 at some point but here’s some silly little Jaytim texting AU. I use this format as a writing warmup.

EDIT: This has been posted on AO3.

[Unknown] »

Hey. This is Jason. 

I have a favor to ask. You can say no.

« tim

uh

1. i’m aware of how favors work  

2. what is it?

« tim

?

« tim

hey are you like. good

J »

Yeah fine 

Sry. Rethinking this maybe

« tim

what, do you need a kidney or something?

i can’t give you a kidney.

i don’t have any organs to spare.

J »

What ? 

« tim

what’s the favor?

J »

I wouldn’t ask if it wasnt important

I’d ask Roy but hes in star city 

or Kori but shes off world

I tried dickhead but hes in haven. Cant get away tonight

« tim

yeah jason i get it lol

J »

So Im currently in the cargo hold of a private yacht

« tim

what >?

J »

We’re caught in the storm thats hitting the city its a whole thing. 

« tim

are you in the cargo hold of your own volition or did someone put you there

J »

So I dont think I can get back t

No its on purpose

« tim

hang on. you’re in gotham bay right now? in a boat?  

jason this storm is really bad.

it’s already sunk a houseboat and a fishing boat at the marina

J »

I dont think I can get back totown toni

Christ you type fast 

Shut up for a sec. Clam down

Clam*

*Calm fuck me

Thought I was gnna be back tonight but bc of storm its not looking great.

Can you feed my sourdough starter 

« tim

what

J »

4511 overhill apt 6D 

Key under the neighbors mat. 6H

« tim

hey to clarify. “its not looking great” ← what does that mean

J »

Starter is on counter. in glass jar 

Should just need one feeindg. Maybe 2. depending 

« tim

on???

J »

On wwhen I get back?

« tim

so you do plan on coming back

J »

Yeah timothy I’m in a boat not the heart of Mount Doom

« tim

yeah? vaders not there? so that means everything’s fine? 

J »

Did you

jst say Vader

As in Darth

« tim

??? 

J »

Oh my god

« tim

jason are you in peril or what.

J »

No im not in “peril” lol.

Did you see the thing I said about my sourddough starter

It needs to be fed

« tim

wtf is a sourdough starter

nvm i googled it

J »

Its a live bacteria colony you use to m 

Oh ok

Yeah so it just needs 50g lukewarm water + 50g flour

Theres a scale next to the jar

Stir until it looks like hummus

Put lid back on

The end

« tim

the internet says if you put it in the fridge it doesn’t need daily feedings

J »

Sure. But that would mess up my bread schedule

« tim

your bread schedule 

J »

Man are gyou gonna fuckin feed Breadie Mercury or should I find someone else

« tim

im already en route. 

J »

Oh

Ok

Thank you.

Wtf dont text and motorbike  

« tim

how about you dont text and Sinking Boat

J »

Hey its not like I’m gonna cause a boat crash

« tim

i was stopped at a red light 😐

anwyay i’m at your place.

1. why do you not have a security system. when you said key under the neighbor’s mat i thought you were joking. 

2. how warm is lukewarm

J »

1. I’m the security system

« tim

just rolled my eyes so hard it actually physically hurt

J »

God youre annoying

2. ? Its lukewarm

« tim

ohhhhh thanks! that’s so helpful :) here i am trying not to murder your incredibly important bacteria colony that i just drove across town for but no thats great jason very descriptive thanks :) 

J »

Like warm but not too wram, nothing you’d want to take a bath in

Can you fucking

I TYPE SLOW.

« tim

ok.

[Image Attached]

he is fed

J »

Thanks man.

Sincerely.

« tim

so hows the cargo hold going

still intact i assume? 

J »

Mostly ya

« tim

pardon? 

J »

Slight leakage. Nothing major

« tim

oh? are you a boatologist now? 

i dont think you’re qualified to judge that?

J »

Moving right past “boatologist” out of the goodness of my heart.

Chill lol. If it was rly bad thered probably be some sort of alar

Hm.

« tim

did an alarm just start going off

J »

Dont worry about it

« tim

im not. 

did it though

also which yacht? im in the marinas scheduling dtabase

blue miracle, serendipity, carp-e diem? which one

« tim

jason?

« tim

if this is a joke it’s not funny

oh cool you’re not on comms either. great.

hey if youre dead again and i just fed your stupid starter for nothing im gonna be soooo mad just fyi

« tim

ugh.

*

J »

Hey

Thanks again for the

I’m not gonna say “save” bc I was doinf just fine on my own.

But thanks for the backup.

Lmk when youre home

Nope sorry lol you dont have to do that.

Night.

« tim

home

J »

Also I just saw your messaages from

Ah. 👍

From earlier. 

« tim

you mean from when you said “huh, this boat seems to be filling with water” and then disappeared? those messages? 

J »

Those were not my exact words.

« tim

right. your exact words contained somehow even less information 

J »

Shut up

I just wanted to 

You know. Youre the only one who jokes about it

The only one in the family I mean

your family, I mean

The bats.

« tim

? 

the only one who jokes about what

J »

Me being dead

« tim

oh. 

ok. well

its not like. actually funny to me. i was just annoyed. sorry i guess

J »

No thats not 

Tim. Shut up.

I dont mind. I like that one of you does. 

Its better than people talking around it. Like its this big shameful thing I did.

One of many

If I mention it in front of dickhead he does the face

the :~{ face

« tim

wow its uncanny

uh. for the record. 

i don’t think that’s the reason people talk around it

if im correct in thinking that by “people” you mean “one specific person whose name rhymes with Rat Can” 

 

J »

Yeah well

I just

Christ never mind. Im sorry. You are not the person to be sayign this to.

Im gonna shut the fuck up I think. 

Goodnight.

« tim

oh what, you can’t talk to me about being dead bc of that one time you tried to kill me? 

and failed btw :/ 

J »

Tim

Not to be so unchill

But you know how me being dead isnt actaully funny to you

« tim

…got it. sorry

J »

No. don’t apologize to me

Ever

I’m serious 

« tim

like for anything? 

what if i killed breadie mercury 

J »

You didnt. He is thriving

« tim

he is?

wait. really?

you can tell?

J »

[Image Attached]

Hes doubled in size since you fed him.

« tim

whoa

J »

Yup. Thanks again for thattoo.

*that too

Its stupid but hes kinda my son.

« tim

wouldn’t he technically be like, 10 billion sons

J »

He is my 10 billion sons.

« tim

lolol

wow. why am i so pleased hes thriving lol 

J »

Right

« tim

jeez

i was so worried about the water temp

google said lukewarm is 98-105 so i did 98 to be safe

J »

You used a thermometer? 

« tim

your instructions were vague!

i didnt want to kill your bacteria colony!

J »

Thanks Tim.

« tim

? you already said that lol

i gotta pass out btw

glad you didnt die: the sequel in a yacht

that would have been so cringe

night jason

J »

Night

*

J »

You up?

« tim

obviously

why

J »

Could use your eyes on something.

[Image Attached]

« tim

morse code but the dots and dashes are reversed and its spelling backwards in russian, ASTITP AYALEB AVD RTSIRP → PRISTR DVA BELAYA PTITSA → PIER TWO WHITE BIRD

J »

Bc it looks like morse but its not, its kind of scrambl 

Ok jesus christ . 

30 seconds? Seriously? Fuck me

Can I hire you? Jesus lol

« tim

that depends. do you pay more than batman?

J »

The fuck? Does he pay you guys now?

« tim

no.

J »

Then yes. I do pay more than batman.

« tim

how much more

J »

One coffee per codebreak? 

« tim

:\

J »

Two coffees per codebreak

Two and a loaf of sourdough

« tim

sourdough from breadie mercury?

J »

Ya

« tim

done

J »

Damn. I feel like you should have higher standards

« tim

i mean i was already gonna do it for free

now i have successfully negotiated coffee & sustenance 

im on a roll. nothing but Ws 

J »

Ws?

« tim

its young people slang you wouldn’t get it ❤️

J »

I am barely 3 years older htan you.

It could be argued, considering certain events, that we’re basically the same age.

« tim

and yet you text like an old, old man

J »

I do not

Would you rather I texted like “idk brb lmao roflcopter”

« tim

ROFLCOPTER?

oh my god. ohhhhhh jason. oh my god

that is absolutely not what the kids are saying these days. oh my god

J »

Ok you know what. At least I know Mount Doom isnt a Star Wars thing

« tim

? 

oh, is it star trek? 

J »

I’m 99% sure youre antagonizing me on purpose

But have you seriously not read or watched Lord of the Rings

« tim

no i have not.

J »

Hm.

« tim

what

J »

Nothing.

« tim

……….what

*

« tim

did you NARC on me

to BRUCE

about LORD OF THE RINGS?????

J »

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

« tim

WHY DO I NOW HAVE 3 SEPARATE SUNDAY AFTERNOON “HOUSE MEETINGS” BLOCKED OFF IN MY CALENDAR, JASON? 

WHY ARE THEY EACH 4 HOURS LONG?

WHY ARE THEY LABELED “CULTURAL EDUCATION (MANDATORY)”? 

J »

I can’t pretend to know what goes on in B’s mind.

That said, I have reason to believe he and Alfred take lotr pretty seriously.

« tim

its a TWELVE HOUR MOVIE

about GOBLINS

J »

I’m not gonna respond to that bc I know youre just lashing out.

« tim

if youve sentenced me to 12 hours of a movie i hate i’m gonna hack everything you own. 

im gonna mass text the entire cape wearers community the footage of that time condiment king kicked your ass so bad he felt guilty and offered to personally help you out of the mustard pool 

J »

What the fuck

How do you fuckig know about ?????? that???????? 

Not that ithahpened 

What hefuckk ??

« tim

ooooooooo you better hope i love these goblins!

J »

Why are you?? evil??

« tim

you should have killed me when you had the chance!!

sorry.

J »

Its ok. That one was pretty funny tbh.

Oh hm shouldnt have laughed just then. Bad timing on my part

Brb

« tim

uh

« tim

ok…….. getting reports of a “disturbance” at pier two…….. 

« tim

sorry were you texting me *mid-standoff* with the russian mafia

« tim

ugh.

*

« tim

you know tracking your location would be so much easier if i didn’t have to hack into your comm sys every time

luckily your encryption is garbage but still. its 2 minutes of my life i wont get back.

J »

Not sure I recall giving you permission to track my location?

« tim

oh i’m sorry. next time i will simply leave you to go down with a texas oil magnate’s incredibly tacky yacht, or get swiss cheesified by mobsters 

J »

Hey I wrapped up the russians myself 

« tim

yeah? 

J »

…

Yeah….

« tim

so you thought the 12-minute universal signal jam was the act of a benevolent god? 

J »

:-|

« tim

im just saying it would be significantly more efficient if you agreed to a tracker

just one little tracker. you wouldn’t even notice it’s there.

think of all the time and energy you’d save me

J »

I feel the need to point out that you don’t have to repeatedly hack my comms system.

« tim

i mean it’s that or monitor sightings on the gocitizen app

i have an algo that texts relevant pings to me, which is super helpful for when i want an inbox full of random people talking about how hot you are. less helpful for literally every other circumstance 

J »

Uh

What

« tim

how hot *red hood is. to clarify

in their opinion

the people’s opinion

J »

?

« tim

the people of gotham city

J »

The people of Gotham city do not think Red Hood is hot lol

« tim

wait 

i cant tell if you’re being serious

J »

Uh? Yeah Im being serious? Lol tf

Why would they think hes hot 

They dont think Batman is hot 

« tim

o…kay…

huh.

how to… hmm

J »

Like nightwing sure

And the girls. Bc of objectification of women

« tim

oh wow

J »

Red Robin. If i had to guess

But when people see Hood its definitely not… that kind of response lol

« tim

what kind of response, exactly

J »

You know like saying “Hey Hood youre hot” 

« tim

oh, wow. 

okay. ummm

hmm. one sec.

J »

?

« tim

check your email 

J »

Ok…? 

J »

Oh my fucking god.

« tim

yeah

J »

Oh my god?

« tim

yeah

J »

This document is fucking 45 pages long?

« tim

its everything from the past 30 days yeah

J »

The past

Whaht the fuck

Ok some of these people definitely got hit by Poison Ivy.

This is . Tim wtf. I havent even heard of some of this stuff. 

« tim

oof are you on page 14

J »

Im on page 3???

« tim

oh my god

J »

What the fuck

Please please tell me its not like this for Batman too

Tim

« tim

its not like this for batman :)

J »

Ok. Jesus. I would genuinely have to move cities.

« tim

its worse :)

J »

Oh what the fuck

Oh my fucking god page 14.

You get this shit TEXTED to you?????

Ohm ygod. You read this?????

« tim

i mean

no

i glance at it

for security purposes.

i dont like, read it read it

anyway did you seriously not know? haha

J »

No??? Again its not like people tell me

« tim

yeah but

like

theres a certain level of objectivity involved, here

yknow

sorry im trying to find a non awkward way to be like “have you looked in a mirror lately” 

« tim

sorry

that was in fact awkward!

nvm

just let me know if you’d be ok with the tracker. its fine if not

i was mostly joking about the hacking

J (From Work) »

No you weren’t.

« tim

no i wasnt

i dont mind though. its like a brain teaser

anyway im going dark for patrol, later

*

J (From Work) »

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

[Screenshot Attached]

Question. why is the average Gotham citizen a raging horndog 

« tim

oh my god

you know i can tell you searched “red robin hot” right

J (From Work) »

Figured it was only fair

[Screenshot Attached]

This persons got some mad zoom lens skills

I’d think it was you, if it wasnt, yknow, you

« tim

wow. that is certainly a photo of my ass

…a stellar photo of my ass. wow. 

do you have a direct link? i gotta send this to steph

J (From Work) »

goctz.app/user/3824973/post/29348230df3

Haha

I kinda thought you and blondie broke up

back on again?

« tim

no lol we are very much just friends

she has a thing going with someone who shall remain nameless but suffice to say it’s Going

anyway we just send each other gocitizen vigilante ass shots 

its a whole genre

they’re like trading cards

J (From Work) »

Guess everyone’s got a hobby?

« tim

the only rule is no nightwing

J (From Work) »

Do I want to know why

« tim

he accounts for a frankly overwhelming percentage of vigilante ass shots

so its too easy

you’d THINK we’d have a no-batman rule, because ew, but due to the cape and his sixth sense for cameras pointed at him, a qualifying shot is actually extremely rare. 

← only guy who ever managed to take quality photos of batman 

anyway, we put it to a vote. i lost.

J (From Work) »

A vote between you and Steph? 

You lost a 50/50 vote?

« tim

i dont wanna talk about it.

J (From Work) »

Right. 

So what I’m getting from this is you have Red Hood ass shots in your phone.

« tim

no

J (From Work) »

No?

« tim

well

J (From Work) »

Yeah?

« tim

we don’t like, save them

that would be weird

we just notify each other. professionally, as colleagues 

and keep an ongoing points tally

thats all

so i do not currently have photos of your ass in my phone. thank you

J (From Work) »

How many points is my ass worth

« tim

i hate everything about this conversation

J (From Work) »

Its 100% your own fault, answer the question

« tim

if you must know. 

points are awarded based on a series of objective scoring criteria.

J (From Work) »

Uh huh. Like what

« tim

technical excellence

composition. lighting and color balance. 

dynamism 

J (From Work) »

Dynamism…

« tim

creativity

umm

emotional impact

and 

subject matter

J (From Work) »

I see.

« tim

ok i know it sounds bad

J (From Work) »

It sounds fucking hysterical Im near tears 

« tim

but if you think abou

oh

okay, well, great

J (From Work) »

I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more. 

Or is that cheating

« tim

its totally cheating

please do

J (From Work) »

You got it red. 👍

« tim

:)

[diobrando]

listening to my cooperating teacher teach the same lesson 3 times a day really is taking me out

[woncherie]

hello <33 finally posting part 3. i hope you guys like it!! small reminder that im not a native english speaker i hope i didnt do too many mistakes..

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: afab!reader, no pronouns used, bully!scara, bullying, sub!scara, reader makes him a sub lol, nsfw, mentions of alcohol and drugs, finger sucking, spit play, thigh riding, degradation, blackmail, rimming, pegging, pictures are taken, usage of ma'am a few times, he sucks our dick!! light spanking (please tell me if I missed something)

wc: 4.9k

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

lab reports were handed in in time, protocols werent your problem anymore and you got good grades on papers that you didnt even take a look at. things really changed after the party a few months ago.

you didnt get thrown at with food anymore, no one was there to trip you, your property wasnt destroyed anymore. its as if he completely forgot about your existence. at this point you dont even know if he remembers your face anymore, you havent seen your favourite bully in weeks other than on hallways, but even there he was very quick to choose another path to not see your face.

its been a month since the incidence in the library, and nothing else happened between you. how could anything have happened? he doesnt even look at you anymore.

at first you enjoyed your peace. people started talking to you more, you went to more partys and hangouts and met new people, but after two weeks of silence from scaramouche, you started getting a bit tense too.

you didnt expect him to actually leave you alone. you thought he would be putting up more of a fight than just puss out like a small kid, and no matter how hard it was to admit.. you kinda missed him.

at one point you got so annoyed with his behaviour that you even tried to meet him yourself, bumping into him in the hallway to start a conversation, but all he did was apologize half-assed and then go back on his way, not even taking a glimpse of your face or outfit (which he used to love to make fun of).

you were fed up with him. you cannot believe that after everything that happened between the two of you he can just act like nothing happened, going on with his life without even thinking about you. him ignoring you made you even more mad than when he gave you too much attention.

it was hard to admit, but the indigo haired man never left your thoughts. it wasnt like you two actively talked before, but now all you did was wonder. about him, about how his day was, what he did, how he is feeling.

the irritation was written all over your face, and all that albedo could do was watch from the sidelines. you still didnt tell him what happened, at this point you were so far into this shit you dont even know how to explain anything.

"is everything alright?" he said after a few days, laying on his tummy on the floor of your apartment, your organic chemistry book in front of him, but instead of studying he just put his head on it, using it as a pillow.

"what should be wrong?" you mumbled, scrolling through instagram right next to him on your carpet. your head was at his feet and his at yours, taking a look over to him when he spoke up.

you two ordered some take out and waited impatiently on the delivery before going back to studying. exams were getting closer again.

"you seem to be lost in thoughts the past few three weeks. is everything right between scaramouche and you?" he asked while checking the time on his watch.

"yeah, what should be wr- wait what." your heart dropped for a second and you threw your phone away, sitting up straight. "how did you-" you started.

"oh c'mon." he answered and rolled his eyes. "respect my intelligence. it doesnt take a genius to understand that at least something happened between the two of you."

you looked at him with wide eyes, shame and guilt being written all over your face. "how..??"

"just look at you two and how you act around each other. you two are practically undressing each other with your eyes during the lectures."

you hid your face in the palm of your hands, embarrassed at the whole situation. "i am so so sorry. i shouldve told you." you apologized. "i was just.. scared about your reaction?"

"you should be." he returned, sitting up slowly before looking at you. "i have a lot of things to say about that special relationship. but maybe you should explain what happened before." he gave you the opportunity to explain.

you threw yourself at albedo and hugged him tightly. "oh my god, i need to tell you so much that happened. ok so remember ittos party.."

☆

scaramouche was currently laying in bed, another random women naked next to him. he tried everything, he tried everything, to forget you.

your ugly face followed him in his darkest dreams, your annoying character was running around in his head all the time, and he even caught himself daydreaming about the two of you every once in a while. all the time.

but absolutely nothing was helping him. he thought maybe he just needed to get laid again, to have any random chick pleasure him for the night and he would get back to be his old self, that he was just thinking with his dick the past few weeks, but no. even after sleeping with multiple women who werent even good to begin with, he couldnt get you out of his head.

he was frustrated, so fucking annoyed, that he let it out on everyone who is somewhat close to him. his friends were trying to figure out what or who made him so miserable, but he doesnt talk to anyone of them.

instead of approaching you and talking it out he decided it would be the better idea to just party, smoke and drink his feelings away. after a few days he would forget you and what happened. but thats what he told himself for weeks now.

the women next to him came closer, trying to touch his chest, but he just hissed at her. "do me a favour and fuck off." he didnt even know her name. he didnt care enough to ask. he couldnt even describe what she looked like.

"h..huh?" he heard her gasp next to him, feeling a bit betrayed by his behaviour right now. "did i do someth-"

"fuck off i said." he groaned, using his arm to place it over his eyes. he just hoped that she would leave as quickly as she came, letting him pity himself in peace without anyone chewing his ear off or them expecting that he cares about them.

he didnt care about anyone of them, fuck, he doesnt even know their names, the only name in his head was yours. and he was sick of it.

the girl stood up and grabbed her clothes, leaving the room as she put them on again, and scaramouche let out a deep groan when he heard the front door closing. fucking finally.

he turned around in his bed, laying on his stomach and checking his phone. he was hoping that maybe you would text him again, but you didnt.

he took his pillow and threw it over his head, trying to burry himself in his bed, trying to burry these feelings.

what were you doing right now? were you together with your ugly blonde friend again?

just thinking about albedo makes him wanna throw a few punches around the room. he never cared about that nerd anyway, his victim always being you, but right now? he's exploding just thinking that you spend your precious time with albedo than rather messaging him, or talking to him.

what did you even see in him? he's fucking boring, head constantly hiding between a few books. he probably doesnt even have a personality to begin with.

were you sleeping with him?

after all the things you did to scaramouche, he wouldnt be doubting that you maybe also fucked around with your best friend. the thought of it made him jump out of his bed, throwing his pillow against a wall before heading to the shower.

he was so lovesick, he couldnt even admit how jealous he was. fuck, he misses you. he misses you so much that he set his mind to visit you after showering, even though he tried his best to ignore you. he couldnt do that anymore.

☆

you were laying on your bed, your books and tablet scattered around you. you tried to concentrate on your studies, on how you felt before you started to fuck around with scaramouche, but you only sighed frustratedly. albedo was right. this was all a big mistake.

albedo left some hours ago, giving you some space for yourself to think about the whole situation, but you instead chose to study and ignore the aching pain in your chest.

albedo gave you a whole lecture on how stupid you were, on how you're gonna get your feelings hurt and mind destroyed by scaramouche, and you knew he was right, you really did, but you couldnt help but feel the way you feel right now.

your train of thoughts got interrupted as someone started banging against your door furiously, and you stood up in surprise and hurried to the door, not checking who it was before opening it.

in front of you stood your favourite indigo eyed man, hair messy and very obviously annoyed and irritated. he didnt even ask or say anything, just pushed you away to enter your apartment.

you were surprised to see him here, after ignoring you for weeks and getting out of your way on purpose when it always used to be the other way around.

"i fucking hate you!" he shouted in your face, pacing around in your apartment, trying to find any words.

"chill out for a second, handsome, how did you find my address?" you asked him, closing the door behind him after scaramouche entered your comfy 25 m².

he just rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "ask me something more difficult next time." he quoted his old text messages.

"the fuck you want here anyway?" you answered him annoyed but also somewhat adrenalized. this is the first time you talked again after like 2 weeks? 3 weeks? you couldnt even remember yourself.

"you! i fucking hate you." he yelled again, coming closer to you before using his arms to push you around a bit, getting physical with you. you stumbled a few steps back but caught yourself in time before landing on your ass.

"you just show up in my life and turn everything around without even thinking about me!" he cried out, his own hands finding its way in his hands and pulling on his own hair. "the past few weeks i tried everything to forget you, to forget the way you make me feel, but.. i just cant."

you raised your eyebrows in shock, not expecting a confession like this when he first entered your home furiously. "what do you mean?"

"FUCK. i mean that i cant stop thinking about you. i cant stop thinking about how you touch me. you ruined me for everyone else. no one compares to how you make me feel, and i hate you so much for this." he paced around your small room again, his eyes moving around from you to the floor and to you again, arms moving around everywhere.

he was stressed as hell, and he didnt know why he was here, in front of you, digging his own grave, but there he is, embarrassing himself to his bones.

and all you did was stand in front of him, looking at him with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing like a fish, trying to find fitting words. you couldnt explain how you were feeling right now, you just knew that you were incredibly happy and relieved.

"say something." scaramouche nearly begged, being frustrated with the whole situation.

he wanted things to go back to normal, to have you under him, doing anything he says without being told twice, to do all uni work and still humiliate you for funsies.

but thinking about going back to that time also hurt him, thinking about how you wouldnt talk to him more than you needed to is something he didnt want.

you slowly stepped up to him again, definitely getting closer to him and his personal space than anyone else dares to do, and you use your finger to lift his chin up, looking at him mockingly.

"now was that so hard to say?" you looked down in him. his face turned red again, trying to ignore your wandering eyes on his face, looking on the floor, eyelashes already a bit wet from shame and embarrassment.

"look at me when im talking to you." you demanded, squishing his cheeks between your fingers again and he looked up to you, breath stammering and gulping.

"is this what you want?" you raised one eyebrow mockingly, the grin on your face getting bigger and bigger.

scaramouche became frustrated with your behaviour again, too embarrassed to admit that yes, he needed this.

instead of answering, he pushed you back again, but followed you, shoving you on your own bed.

your back was pressed to the mattress and scaramouche sat down in your lap, leaning forwards before he pressed his lips on yours aggressively.

you were surprised at how eager he was, but no way would you let him lead and dominate you. this is your job.

you threw off all the books and your tablet from the bed with your arm in one swift motion, and then grabbing scaramouches waist as you change position, rolling on top of him while he is laying underneath you.

he didnt let go of the kiss, of you, his arms wrapped around your neck while your hands press down on the mattress beside each side of his head.

he let out some soft sighs and pants throughout the kiss, occasionally letting out a gasp or muffled moan.

you took the opportunity of you being on top, pressing your ass on his dick and making him moan more often now.

his hands wandered from your neck into your hair, pulling on them desperately as you suck on his tongue. god damn it, he felt fucking amazing.

you started undressing him slowly, breaking the kiss to remove his shirt, your lips on his right afterwards again before he could even take in a breath.

you didnt care though. you waited so long for him, you want to break him apart now.

you started kissing from his lips down to his jaw and neck, giving him bites and hickies all over that area. "you've been waiting for this for quite some time now, havent you?" you teased him, rocking your hips on his as you gave his collarbone special attention.

"fuck.. fuck yes." he groaned out, trying to grab your hips but you grabbed his hands immediately, pressing them down above his head.

"dont even think about this." you threaten him, and he looks at you with wide eyes. "i will not be touching you if you dont listen to me. understood?" scaramouches eyes widen in surprise, ready to whine out. he cant have you leaving him hanging once again, he needs you more than anyone else right now, so all he did was nod and look into your eyes.

"use your words." you demanded.

"y..yes."

"is that all?" you asked in a harsh tone, making him feel so much smaller than he actually is underneath you. his face got a soft pink blush around his nose and he looked away, everywhere else but in your face right now. "yes.. m..ma'am."

you could feel your pussy clench at the way he looked so embarrassed as he called you this name. you lived for embarrassing him.

"good boy." you answered and you could feel his dick twitch right through the shorts you were wearing.

you started kissing his body again, this time taking your time at his chest as you felt it heaving so cutely for you. "id love to fuck these tits." you grinned, looking up to him and seeing him hide his face inside the crook of his arm. "maybe next time."

his heart stopped beating for a second before it sped up in pace right afterwards. next time?

but before he could ask anything, you stood up from his lap, grabbing his waist once again before turning him around and pulling his pants down in one swift motion.

"H..HUH?" he asked surprised, looking back to you and seeing you eyeing his ass again. just thinking about what happened last time made his dick throb in his underwear, already being stained by precum anyway.

you were very happy with how things were right now, scaramouche underneath you and submissive, letting you use his body to your liking.

"ever got your ass pegged?" you looked up to him with a big grin, visibly ecstatic before pulling his boxers down too and touching his butt.

"n..no why the fuck should-?" but before he could finish his sentence you sinked your sharp teeth into his ass, biting him until there was evidence of your teeth on his butt.

he let out a small scream and let his head fall back into his neck, eyes closed in pleasure and pain. "i fucking hate you." he then said and you only giggled silently.

you stood up from his legs, grabbing into your nightstand to pull out your pretty pink dildo and scaramouches eyes widened in shock and lust, jumping up immediately.

"aint no way this gonna fit.." he mumbles.

"dont worry. ill make it fit." you returned, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer to your face again, pressing your lips on his harshly.

he opened his mouth instantly, welcoming your tongue in his mouth. fuck, he really cant resist your touch.

he leaned into the kiss and let out a small moan when your fingers graced his dick, playing with the tip and using his precum to make him wetter.

you let go off his lips and his dick and he let out a whine. he waited so long for this, dont stop now.

but instead of kissing him again, you leaned a bit back and pressed he colorful dildo on his lips, and he looked at you, slightly confused.

"what are you-?" he started, but you already pushed the tip of the sex toy into his mouth.

"sadly i didnt prepare any lube.. guess your spit has to make it wet now."

seeing scaramouche choke on the dildo made your heart swell in pride and joy, he really looked majestic like that. he grabbed your hand quickly, scared that you might shove it down his throat completely.

his heart was beating faster, scared of messing up. it was the first time of him sucking on a cock, he didnt want to look like a fool, he didnt want to disappoint you.

he tried to relax his throat to take the toy more in, sucking on it and looking at you through his lashes. inch for inch he took more in, putting on a small show for you.

you couldnt help but gasp a bit, pussy wet and aching for him. but you had to hold back, this was about him and his pleasure now.

"see, so you can be a good boy for me without throwing a tantrum. no need to be so bratty all the time.~" you teased him and he tried to look at you angrily, the toy in his mouth ruining it a bit for him.

you were still in your clothes which bothered both you and him, so you let go of the dildo in your hand, but scaramouche held it firmly anyway.

you quickly got rid of your shirt and shorts, sitting in front of him in your underwear while he was completely naked. when scaramouche saw your body in front of him, so close, he let go of the sex toy in his mouth and instead stared at you, biting his lip, trying to hide the faint blush on his face. he thought that you looked stunning.

you took the dildo out of his hand and kissed him again, pressing him onto his back while he leaned into the kiss, hands grabbing into your hair.

while kissing him you grabbed into your nightstand again, this time pulling out a bottle of lube.

scaramouche opened his eyes at the noise and let go of you when he saw the bottle. "wait what?? didnt you say you dont have any?" he bickered around and you laughed silently. "of course i have lube. i just wanted to see you suck on my dick." you teased him once again.

"you fucking bitch." he returned, visibly angry and embarrassed again, hiding half his face with his hand.

"oh c'mon, you looked really stunning. the show you put on made me nearly loose my control." you said as you kissed his jaw and neck downwards to his chest and tummy, getting dangerously close to his dick, which was still standing and throbbing regularly.

"cute. how can you satisfy anyone with this small cute dick?" you bullied him and he turned his face away in shame. "fuck off." was all he said, ready to shove his foot up your face but you only giggled and pressed a kiss on the inside of his tender thigh.

you heard him let out a small whimper, back finally relaxing against your pillows as he closed his eyes. you just smiled against his thigh and pressed down a few more kisses on them before taking the bottle of lube, opening it and using it on your fingers.

you grabbed the insides of scaramouches knees and pressed them up to his hands, signaling him to hold them.

it was embarrassing for him, but he didnt care anymore. he just wanted you on top of him, destroying him completely, so he held his legs and spread them, being completely naked and open for you. "good boy.." you mumbled as your fingers started rubbing on his anus, making him shudder at the cold feeling.

"we need a safeword." you said, looking up to his face and he opened his eyes in frustration. he thought you would finally fuck him properly.

"safeword?"

"yeah.. in case you dont like it anymore." you explained it.

"i know what a safeword is you dumb fuck." he said angrily, and you gave him a slap on his dick, making him moan out in pain and pleasure, arching his back and shoving his butt closer to you.

"dont get too comfy now." you said, and he looked at you apologetically.

"fuck just choose anything! i dont care."

you took his dick into your hand, stroking him a few times and watching him mewl in pleasure.

"coconut?" you asked.

"y..yeah yeah whatever" he said, enjoying the pleasure that you were giving him right now.

you took your lube smeared fingers and slowly inserted one inside of him while watching his face and facial features.

his eyelids fluttered and he bit his lip, grabbing the bedsheets as he tried to get used to the unknown feeling. you didnt move your finger yet, waiting for his consent.

he slowly opened his eyes and gave you a nod, signaling you to move your finger, so you did. you kissed him on the lips again, trying to make him ignore the initial pain in his butt.

he wrapped his arms around your body again, kissing you a bit sloppily as he moans into the kiss, moving back onto your fingers.

after a few minutes you heard him mumble against your lips. "m..more" he said before pressing his lips on yours again. you took the invitation to slowly insert a second finger into him and you felt him flinch and whimper against your lips. you let go off the kiss too look at him, but he pulled you back down again, not wanting to let go of the kiss.

you moved your fingers and he whimpered against your lips, biting down on your underlip. man, you really wanted to ravish him, but you had to hold yourself back a little more, for him.

you started scissoring your fingers and scaramouche started enjoying it a bit more, all kinds of moans and groans leaving his mouth. "f..fuck this feels so.." he started, but got lost in pleasure, losing his train of thought once again.

after a few more seconds you pulled out of him, making him shudder underneath you, opening his eyes slightly to look at you. "just do it now." he started bothering you again and you gave him a slap on his thigh. "shut up."

you grabbed underneath the bed and pulled out your strap on, making his face heat up slightly, but you only smiled at his reaction and put it on.

you’d never ever felt this way around anyone before - you could feel your panties growing more soaked by the second from anticipation. but it really wasnt about you right now, it was about him.

scaramouche really didnt expect to be fucked senseless when he made his way over to your home, and yet, his mouth was dry and his face was hot with embarrassment? fear? neediness? he didnt know. all he knew was that he wanted this feeling gone and your body on top of him.

scaramouche sighed happily when he felt the toy slowly, very slowly gliding into him, head falling back as he winced at the initial pain. you paused for a moment, letting him get used to the feeling.

after a few seconds he nodded again, signaling you to push in deeper. he groaned as you pushed in further, the size of you causing a burning sensation, even despite the lube and preparation earlier.

you pressed light kisses around his forehead, cheeks, jaw, neck, trying to calm him down.

he breathed heavily as you pushed in more, more, more, filling him up deliciously before bottoming out inside of him. scaramouche felt like his whole skin was burning hot, tears pricking in his eyes as he grabbed your arms, pulling you down to him and pressing your body on his as he wrapped his arms around your body.

you pushed your hips back towards his, rolling your hips in a slow pace as his body twitched underneath you.

"fu.. fuck i hate you so much." he reminded you again and you laughed in a low tone, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. "want me to stop?" you asked and he locked his legs behind your back, taking up your space to move away.

"no!!" he gasped as you continued to pound into him, head thrown back into the pillows as moans, grunts, your name and even a few ma'ams leave his lips continuously. a very visible bulge appearing on his stomach made him gasp out, tears leaving his eyes and smearing all over his face. "dont stop, fuck, please dont stop.." he moaned out loudly.

"i should stop." you continued to tease him. "after all these months of you destroying my life, it really should be fair if i leave you hanging." you grabbed the inside of his knees, pressing them to his chest and putting him into a mating press. "you deserve this."

scaramouches mouth was left open, tongue hanging out and drool leaving his mouth. he was completely gone, trying his hardest to concentrate on what to say. "s..so-sorry. im so sorry fuck im sorry" he slurred out, trying his hardest to not come too quickly.

"is this how your mother taught you to apologize?" you grunted, slapping his thigh and ass hard, making him mewl out.

"fuuck I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't have put through you all tha-fuckk." he moaned out, looking down to where your and his body connected.

"I will stop I will stop I promise I won't bother you anymore just please..make me cum." hearing him choke on his own words made your chest fill with pride. you finally broke him.

his hands tried to hold anything of you, grabbing your bra that you still wore and opening it, throwing it away, his eyes all over your chest now, watching the way they bounce while you fuck him hard.

he was fucked out and you barely even started, using his body as a mere fleshlight for your toy, teeth gritting as he felt a familiar sensation build up in his stomach as the toy continuously pushed against his prostate, making him see stars through the tears in his eyes.

"cu- cumming. fuck im so closesoclosesoclose" he slurred out, completely drunk on pleasure.

"eyes on me." you demanded, and he looked up from your chest to your eyes. "want you to look at me as you come." you continued, and scaramouches heart skipped a beat. fuck. you really wrapped him around your finger.

you took your hand and grabbed his penis, playing and stroking him a bit to increase the pleasure, sending him off the edge as he came all over his body and your hand. you took a few seconds to fuck him through his orgasm before slowly standing still, only both of your heavy breathings heard in the apartment.

you smeared the cum that was left on your hand on his chest and stomach, painting him full with it as you teased him again, his body still shaking and spasming underneath you.

"fuck, i could do this all day." you said and he bit his lips at the thought of that.

"not gonna take any pictures this time?" he asked and you grabbed the polaroid camera on your nightstand.

"oh you bet i will."

☆☆☆

HELLOO <33 this is gonna be the last part i dont think i have much to add to the story anymore.. i hope you all enjoyed it and thank you so much for hyping me up the past 2 weeks <3 it really meant a lot, you guys made my days and nights.

[phonification]

II16 SPOILERS!!

ITS THEORY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

about the big reveals, to what extent is the show made by mephone? aside from all the contestants, what about the islands where the competitions took place? what about non contestants like the uninvitationals, ballpoint pen, spoiled lemon, springy, ect?

FOR STARTERS, the reveal that 3gs actually ended up getting one of the eggs and how the whole mission happened was AMAZING!!!! after that its most likely that cobs is using the egg as a source of energy to power things like Melife and the rest of his creations.

so like, we know mp4 was the first mephone after the egg discovery, so what if cobs tried harvesting its energy/soul into his latest creation at the time, mephone4, but since this was his first time doing it, he went overboard and gave him too much power? mabye thats where his "gift" comes from..? after mephone ran away, i guess he decided against killing him and put everything in place to watch how far mephones abilities went??

we know that mephone knew everything that he had to do to set up a reality show, most likely from all of the shows watched during his time at meeple.. so mabye he consciously knew that the show was made by him, its was HIS. but he had no idea to the EXTENT of the things he created. subconsciously, mabye his system/mind is in way part mecanic but powered by organic energy from the egg? or just specific parts function on that energy? because whatever energy/soul they got from the egg had an influence in the subconscious creation of the show, i have no idea where else the egg looking mountains from the shimmer home planet wouldve come from if it wasnt that LOL (and it could explain why mephone was affected by the wailing from the other shimmer egg back in hatching the plan and mepad wasnt)

id guess cobs learned how to calcute how much energy he had to put into the future mephones to balance out their abilities, said abilities given by the energy of the egg being stuff like mepads teleportation, melife, mephones portals, and maaabye the item generation thing?? (if mepad also had "shimmer energy" in my system, mabye he wasnt glitching because he doesnt have that much of a dosis of it??? GOD THIS IS CONFUSING SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE AUGH)

i have no idea what mephonex's deal is though. how the fuck is he doing that. all we know is that: he isnt physically there (i think), attacks via hallucinations and can uninanimate objects ...? i think it might be a weird thing with cobs messing with mephones head and it leaking into the other contestants???????? please give me your thoughts . im stumped . PLEASE

aside from that!! GOOD LORD THE FORESHADOWING WAS INSANE!! i think its really neat that cabby was most likely the most aware of her apparent memory loss, no one has actually realized up to this point unless its pointed out to them, I CANT WAIT FOR THE REST TO FIND OUT!!! IF THEY EVER LIVE TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!

OH AND THE GLITCHES!!!

IM so hyped

[clownmoontoon]

RAAAAHHH HELLO ITS BEEN A MINUTE!!! \OUO/

YOUR FAVORITE CLOWN IS BACK IN BUSINESS ive been quiet a while, a LOTS been going on in my personal life that brought my social medias to a complete (and unfortunate ToT) standstill til now!

i rlly wanna talk about it, its been honestly life changing and for safety i need to add some warnings:

cw for abuse both physical and emotional, and suicidal thoughts/ideation (dw im ok and not suicidal! i used to be and i finally have real context as to why)

ANYWAYS LETS TALK ABOUT IT

i got the opportunity to see a therapist for free for the first time since i was a kid and it was IMMENSELY eye opening.

SOME CONTEXT: ive lived with just my mother since i was a teenager as i tried to "make it" as an artist. ive had my ups and downs w this career goal and have been heavy in the midst of a very big Down period. entirely brought on by how sick i was at the start of the year to june (infected lymph nodes, pneumonia, 2 pounds of tumors in my uterus that required the removal of the organ entirely etc, i may have a weak immune system im realizing sdlkjd) which resulted in me having very little energy to create and/or post content. by july i needed to basically start over. which i was excited to do! i WANTED to get back to work and i was even excited for art fight! ;u;

aaaand in july is when my mom thought would be a good time to threaten to kick me out unless i found money to give her or got a "real" job. this came as an extreme and horrifying shock as i had just asked her the month before to "believe in me just a little longer" as i finally felt i realized what id been doing wrong all these years before and felt strongly i could succeed before the end of the year, she not only emphatically agreed but even said i didnt need such a time limit and she definitely didnt mind supporting me til i reached my dream lol i couldnt even do anything until july bc i was busy recovering from major surgery, coming home with tape on my stomach to heal the incision that hadnt fully closed yet

ive wanted to see a therapist for ages bc im Full O' Trauma and i knew it would help. The way this worked was basically like getting a free trial, i got six days of therapy (to be spread out as far as i liked) thru zoom.

i used the visits more for getting advice on how to reach my goals thru mental blocks and exhaustion bc ultimately i felt like 6 days wasnt enough time to get into trauma stuff and i really just wanted to get my career off the ground again, hopefully permanently.

i had vented a tiny bit about my mom and by the final visit w my therapist i decided to forgo the "how to better reach my goals" questions and ask if she had advice on how to handle someone like my mother, who i had to live with and rely on and who would often say something cruel whenever the mood struck. as i told her about my situation she stops me and asks

"do you hear yourself? bc i hear you"

and im suddenly so scared shes going to tell me the same, "get a real job" "stop acting so selfish" etc

instead she says, "this is abuse, youre literally describing an abusive relationship"

i was in complete shock

i even asked her how could i be the one being abused when i was the one using the resources and she compared it to a person getting married to someone rich and that rich person treating them like theyre worthless for not also making money.

it shook me to my core especially bc my mom loved calling me an abuser and comparing me to her abusive ex husbands (one of which used to abuse her physically, punch her/beat her etc) and saying im just like them

for the record ive never laid a hand on her, she would say these things whenever the mood struck, often out of nowhere

once bc i told her i couldnt read her mind and didnt know what she wanted lol wild

ANYWAY after this conversation i started looking back on my life and realizing why ive always felt so worthless, why i thought until my early 20's that suicide would be the best option for everyone. i was so exhausted from chasing this dream and feeling like such a worthless burden, my mother would get so angry with me for just existing and i felt like she would be so much happier if i were out of the picture, my sisters (both a decade older and living w their own families) calling me a leech and selfish for "using" our mother etc

any time i would stand up for myself, kindly and meekly as i could my mother would tell me how she wanted to punch my mouth, slap my face etc for years i thought she'd eventually fly into such a rage one day that she'd kill me and... i honestly didnt really mind the thought once while in high school my mom picked me up for lunch and offered to pay for a prom dress. i told her that it was ok, i knew she was struggling w money rn and i didnt really wanna go to prom anyway she flew into such a rage she pulled over on the highway just to pull my hair and beat me, and then dropped me back at school to finish my day lol

realizing that all of that IS NOT OK OR A NORMAL WAY TO FEEL OR BE TREATED AND I DEFINITELY DIDNT DESERVE ANY OF THAT was extremely eye opening

i told my best friends what my therapist had said and they were both like YEAH... DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU HAD AN ABUSIVE MOTHER??

apparently it was very obvious ^^; my friends were shocked to find that i thought everything was my fault, my therapist even used the term "gaslighting narcissist" to describe her which was WILDLY VALIDATING for me lmao

sitting w all these thoughts whirling around my head my mom texts me suddenly and tells me to ask my sisters for money (13 hundred dollars lol) bc she needs it for "bills"

i didnt want to do that at all she told me to "use my big words" to convince them and not to say it was her idea, but instead to act like i was asking bc i wanted to

it felt gross and made my skin crawl and honestly didnt even make sense bc WHY would i need that money so i asked but let my sisters know it was my mom asking and said she prob felt embarrassed to ask, while telling my mom that i asked in the way she wanted

my oldest sister makes good money and has helped our mom w money in the past. she texted me back asking why our mom needed money and why 1300 and i told her honestly i didnt know, i asked my mom what to say and she said to tell her she had an itemized list but she left it at work and couldnt remember what was on it lol

my sister told me to tell our mom that she couldnt help rn, so i did and my mom encouraged me to push harder to my other sister

suddenly the sister i had been talking to texts me and says that our mom left her a voicemail saying she doesnt know WHY i would ask for money, must be bc she threatened to kick me out bc i never help her with money :,( which was WILD bc any time i had money my mom would get most if not all of it, i havent been able to save money since ... ever tbqh, even when i tried my mom would successfully guilt every dollar from me letting me know i didnt deserve to save a penny after all shes done for me aaAA

ANYWAY i was so angry and hurt that my mom would just throw me under the bus i told my sister i had proof i wasnt lying (bc she was already inclined to believe our mother since they both considered me a leech to start with) and sent her screenshots of my texts

she was shocked and hurt too i decided to tell her about my therapy and how my therapist had called our mom an abuser and she answered that she understands more than ill ever know... which is very sad hjghfgf

we havent really talked more since and i deleted my texts to the other sister, more likely than not my mom sent her a similar voicemail

im very tired

i want to get out of here, im finally seeing this relationship for what its been for years and years, even back to when i was a little kid! i didnt know about suicide but id dream of being an animal in the wild bc i felt like if i were just out of the picture everyone at home would be less angry

its something that enrages me now tbqh ive tried all my life to be as little of a burden as possible and now im ready to be a problem LMAO :o)

the long and short of it is that i will be posting art sales and opening my patreon FINALLY to try and save up funds to get out of here ive also gotten a part time job on weekends for a little cushion tho some of that money will inevitably go to my mother, unfortunately

she doesnt know about the money i make online :o)

my family has constantly called me selfish, entitled and spoiled for just asking for common decency and to be treated like a person, theyve dehumanized me to the point that my greatest coping mechanism was creating a creature sona that isnt human but a monstrous equivalent lol AND I LOVE THEM IM EMBRACING CREATURE LETS FUCKIN GO

i know this has been long and if youve made it to the end i love u and im so thankful for your support!! ;u;

FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!! i want to come back full force, i havent stopped drawing at all, just havent had the energy to do much til now

my therapist even pointed out that i probably WOULDVE had at least moderate steady success by now if it werent for my mom's constant abuse

OH ALSO I NOW HAVE FOUR CATS LMAO a stray i had been giving water to and keeping safe from weather things (extreme heat, extreme cold etc) had her kittens here! and my mom gave me the ok to keep them all ;u; (and then ofc rescinded that but thats hardly a surprise now lol) and man, having kids cats sure changes your perspective on what u want and feel like you deserve! I NEED TO DO WELL BC THESE KITTIES DEPEND ON ME AND I LOVE THEM QVQ <3<3

SO YEAH IM BACK BABY IM GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE ASAP AND CONCENTRATING ON MY WELL BEING AND MENTAL HEALTH!! 😤🔥

[mirukutchi]

Attempt 2 at writing this lol bc the first one got deleted by accident

I wanted to add my experience to that last post I rbed, bc it resonated with me, particularly the first part where men will call eachother 'girl' or 'feminine' as an insult(this is the only part im commenting on as i am not a transwoman so i have no input on that part of the post. )

I have pcos. I always have. I have a very strong masculine face/jawline. I always have. Ive always had a deep voice, as someone who was born a girl and identifies(at least in part) as a girl. I want this to be known bc its context lol

Guys are not the only ones who misgender as an insult, or to dehumanize others. Girls do it too.

When i was in elementary school i didnt have female friends bc all of them would laugh at me and say they didn't want to be friends with an 'ugly boy'

When i would go to the bathroom in-between classes, other girls would push me out, or yank me out physically and say that 'ugly boys' are not allowed in the girls bathroom.

My mom always made me have short hair, and she always made me wear jeans(and boy shirts bc they are more durable than girl clothes. This part was. Okay. I guess. I liked pokemon and ben 10 so my little brain didnt understand.) I was not allowed to have long hair and i was not allowed to wear dresses or skirts(ever since i was little ive wanted to wear only dresses but i was not allowed to...)

I talked like a baby(high pitched voice) for a good part of my childhood bc i knew that my voice was ugly and deep. When i started to go to speech therapy, i started speaking ""normally"" and my voice got so deep... i remember one of the last times i used my baby voice it was with a teacher and another student, and the student said "hey teacher, listen to (deadname?)'s REAL voice, she sounds just like a boy!"

That was a defining moment in my life.

In middle school, when i still wasnt allowed to have long hair and dresses, girls in my health class would look at me and laugh and whisper about how im actually a boy, and that i shouldnt be there. My face started changing too, my jaw got stronger... my voice got deeper.

I think in highschool people were too focused on other things to really bother me too much, plus people *generally* by that time knew me as a sweet and quiet person, not to mention i was the 'art kid' so that gained me some friends lol, also by highschool i was allowed to grow my hair out, down to my butt almost! And i was allowed to wear dresses and skirts and leggings(mostly leggings at that time bc i was still super skinny lol)

After highschool i had a crisis and shaved my head and tried out being a guy(ftm) but it was, personally, an identity crisis. I didnt know who i was, i had been abused, emotionally and sexually, all through high school by a guy i thought was my friend(i wish i had left sooner...) so i was struggling with what was 'me' plus i thought to myself 'everyone calls me a guy anyway so fuck it' but it gave me advanced dysphoria to be a guy :/

My hair is long now. Past my butt, i can sit on it. I only, exclusively, wear skirts and dresses. I wear a skirt to work bc i begged them to let me(i have autism and pants are a sensory nightmare but also i hate the way i look in them also i will look more like a guy)

Do you know how often i get misgendered? Admittedly not often, but it still happens. Usually its kids, but sometimes i get people calling me 'sir'. I want to scoff and be like 'how can they mistake someone with long braided pigtails and a dress for being a man' and then i remember my childhood.

Also im not writing this to detract from trans experiences, im writing my own experience as a woman-thing with pcos(if you dont know, it basically means that the cysts on my reproductive organs cause me to produce extra testosterone and not enough estrogen) who has frequently been misgendered by other girls

I want to clarify that im also only responding to the first part of the post, im not trying to say my experiences are in some way comparative to trans experiences!

Terfs do NOT touch this post ill shoot you on sight!!!!! Pew pew!!!

[orangesideirrational]

drabble (technically 4) inspired by @cartilagehumdrum 's horror mvt au!

(i originally shared this in the discord server)

(if you see red throughout this then its a break in the text to explain smthn rq/ break up the different drabbles because its 4am lol)

be warned- gore? kinda? vauge depictions of gore.

you dont need to have read mvt horror to understand this, but it will definitetly make far more sense if you do

edit- sorry for forgetting but this entire thing is inspired by this post!

sorry about all the spelling errors and i hope you enjoy!!

-

'benny...' champagne started. benny's heart quickened and he just knew that champagne could hear it.

'whasup, champ?' he grinned unsteadily.

'can i.. have something? of yours?' champagne asked, with a voice that suggested a deep hunger. benny stepped back, not letting his smile dip but feeling fear pulse through him.

'well ya already got 3 of my ribs and a kidney, what more do ya really need?' benny asked lightheartedly, trying desperately not to let the fear infect his voice

'i was thinking...' champagne said slowly, stepping towards benny smoothly in a way that made benny's heart skip with something other than fear for a moment.

'maybe.. i could have your heart?' benny was sure champagne had somehow stopped it for a moment as he said that, because he was suddenly breathless. and very very aware that he was pressed against a wall, face an inch away from the doctor's, in a room alone with a quite-possible-psychopath that had already stolen several of his bones and an organ.

'd-dont i need that o-one t-ta survive?' benny stuttered, trying not to look at champagne's lips because that was not appropriate when his life was being threatened. even if the guy threatening him was very attractive.

'oh, ill keep it safe.' champagne assured, placing his hand over benny's chest but not touching, like if he did he wouldnt be able to stop himself from just reaching in and just...

benny took a stuttering breath and-

sterling came crashing through into the room calling for benny before stopping and making champagne leave the room.

'you ok benny? i know that guy gets to you a lot.' sterling asked. benny nodded shakily and assured him that he was fine, he would be ok.

what terrified benny most, however, was that before sterling came running in the word on his lips was yes

and champs pov-

(for this- bold= emphasis italics= flesh)

'benny...' champagne started. his heart thudded in his chest and champagne relished in the sound. it was so melodic. so pretty. just from champagne saying benny's name. now how fast can you make it go?

'whasup, champ?' benny's smile was so pretty. maybe you can take some teeth next! champagne felt a familiar hunger that wasnt his brewing as he stepped forward towards benny. just like a beast hunting its prey!! ew, hunt.

'can i.. have something? of yours?' why are you asking permisson? thats so boringg. just reach in and- champagne almost shushed it, but felt it might ruin the moment.

'well ya already got 3 of my ribs and a kidney, what more do ya really need?' oh he was so cute. his fear is so so fun! so sweet and nice and-

'i was thinking...' champagne drawled, smoothly stepping towards benny thats not all fear though- ooh this makes it MUCH more fun! and letting a smile crawl across his face, showing off his sharp teeth.

'maybe.. i could have your heart?' champagne was asking for so much, and benny didnt even know it. its not that much, just another- delicious, mind you- organ he had trapped benny, now, against a wall. he would back off when benny said no, because he would almost certainly say no, but for now this was fun. not in the normal flesh way either. this was fun for him.

benny stuttered something out, but champagne was distracted by the way his eyes ew. eyes. kept flicking down to champagne's lips. champagne didn't kiss him, it likely wouldnt be a pleasent experience for either of them i mean youve never really TRIED, but he really really wanted to. in a midly terrifying way (and not in the usual terror-filled way, either)

'oh, ill keep it safe' champagne assured. he needed benny to let him have this. his heart. yum. not to eat. he wasnt lying. he was going to keep it safe. he promised.

then someone came crashing in and ruined it.

champagne didnt hold grudges per say but if that guy was the next to be turned into a dinosaur it would be his own damn fault.

he was sure benny would say no, but the moment itself felt special, somehow.

heres also a few versions of 'if sterling didnt interrupt!' (he is being attacked by moths)

benny took a stuttering breath and swallowed a lump in his throat.

he should say no. he has to say no. this is crazy. he should just say no. or maybe dont even say it, just push champagne away and run. SAY. NO.

'sure.' benny said, breathless already. champagne blinked. was he surprised?

'oh, are ya surprised?' benny grinned, pretending his heart wasnt going a mile a minute and his throat was dry and he was bracing for sweet pain and that he wasnt so in love with this insane doctor that probably wouldve had his medical lisence revoked if this wasnt the literal apocalypse

'really?' champagne sounded breathless too, like they had both run a marathon and were now here. with benny agreeing for champagne to take his heart oh god this was insane-

'sure. as long as you put it back before i die.' benny smiled, heart going insane (just like he did. he mustve gone insane. champagne mustve made him insane because there was no way he had just agreed to let someone LITERALLY BORROW HIS HEART-)

'of course.' champagne seemed shocked and pleased and hungry and dangerous and- and beautiful and benny felt a hand cup his cheek before he passed out.

champs pov

(again- bold = emphasis italics = flesh)

benny's shuddering breath landed on champagne's neck and it felt so human that for a moment the flesh didn't exist and it was just them and-

'sure.' benny sounded breathless. champagne blinked. YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT GIVE IT TO US CRUSH IT IN YOUR HANDS GIVE IT TO US- benny was supposed to say no

'oh are ya surprised?' benny snarked acting like champagne couldnt feel his heart beating and hear its beautiful melody and like he couldnt feel their chests heaving why are you so worked up? it should be us because were about to get FOOD

'really?' champagne breathed and ignored bennys snark. because he had to be sure before he took his heart. WHY DO YOU CARE? JUST FEED US FEED US FEED US FEED US FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD-

'sure. as long as you put it back before i die.' benny smiled and champagne disregarded any idea of stealing teeth the flesh ever had because holy shit champagne was in love.

'of course.' champagne promised. he didnt care how loud it screamed he was going to keep that FUCKING promise. he cupped benny's cheek which was a mistake because now he really wanted to kiss him-

and benny fell to the floor. champagne followed and ended on his knees next to an unconcious benny and the flesh was going insane.

champagne wasnt going to hurt benny. he wasnt going to crush his heart in your hands then eat it then feed it to us then then then oh my everything the possibilities GIVE IT TO US GIVE IT TO US GIVE IT TO US hurt benny.

champagne reached his hand into benny's chest and it was warm and beautiful and TAKE EVERYTHING WARP IT FEED US WAKE HIM UP AND MAKE HIM SCREAM so human that champagne almost felt jealous as his hand closed around benny's heart and he didn't even want to disturb it because of all the stupid human poetry about love and all that shit and champagne blinked back the red red red that was seeping into his vision because he was not the flesh and he fucking promised and he withdrew his arm from benny's chest and he closed his hands around his ears because he didnt care what they screamed he was going to keep benny safe- his heart. he was going to keep his heart safe.

[who-is-shades]

raz dnd 32

basil wants the rest of us to wait outside so they can talk to parsley. parsley doesnt want us waiting in the hallway but basil wont drop it. parsley just sighs and drags basil out lol. as soon as the door closes teya starts snooping around the room xD

basil is fucking pissed at parsley for leaving without even a goodbye. things got really bad after he left. moms a dickhead. basil says the worst part was thinking parsley wasnt coming back but he only came back for his wings. 'your silence speaks enough.' JESUS. they still missed him and turns away. moms not gonna just let him leave. dont even leave a note if you get out.

parsley grabs their wrist and says theres no excuse but he is sorry and missed them. he admits he might not come back and hes awful and they deserve better. he says hes a coward. basil calls him an idiot xD basil warns him cause mom has something planned to force him to stay. parsley asks if basil wants to meet his friends. 'sure lets meet the replacements.'

senna is dusting the room its fucking dirty. teya is snooping and looking at the old drawings of parsley. wheatley takes a picture of each photo. teya finds a violin! wheatley somehow sneezes off dust. teya also finds handwritten sheetmusic. teya finds fancy clothing in a wardrobe. senna is also examining the clothes so fancy!

senna starts reading the sheet music. wheatley goes onto the balcony and shakes the dust off lol. teya uses sending! zen flops on the bed and releases a bunch of dust pissing senna off xD android suddenly stands up and says "do you think he had a diary?" blackmail! zen mumbles that its not nice to do that but teya reminds him he stole a picture from her house. wheatley joins the team!

senna puts the violin and sheetmusic in her token for safety. everyone yells at her wtf. android finds a dagger under the bed xD wheatley examines the dagger and puts it back under the bed. senna presti's wheatley and android for redusting the damn room. android and teya are sniping again.

senna checks the pillows quick for the diary. wheatley flops down next to zen lol. zens getting a weird feeling again. he says it would be hard for god to remove us from the feywilds easily. android goes and stands on the balcony to scout the area. teya reads her brothers book and senna pulls the violin/sheetmusic out and keeps reading that.

one of the songs on the sheetmusic is fairy fountain from zelda xD senna hums it to herself. zen wonders where us organics will sleep. senna says she can meditate on the floor, teya can sleep on her lap if she doesnt wanna sleep on parsleys bed. zen naturally offers himself.

parsley and basil arrive! senna asks if parsley wrote the sheet music. basil asks parsley where he got wheatley since his kind has been showing up in the woods, rude. they also say they hasnt seen many firbolgs lately. 'whats the timeframe on lately?' basil comments not to say thank you cause thats bad xD

'he left and didnt tell us why and he doesnt even know.' 'story time i guess!' parsley left cause of an arranged marriage! 'she gonna resume the arrangement?' 'maybe she'll try for an even worse marriage?' wheatley starts pulling out his gun xD parsley shakes his head and he puts the gun away. basil says the marriage thing has gone and passed. called off. only mother 'knew' he would come back. 'she said that when i left actually.' even if basil knew what she was up to they arent allowed to talk about it.

senna comments about the archfey making an impossible deal to force him to stay here. parsley rubs his face tiredly. basil says they have to go or mother will be pissy. nice to meetcha. 'dont get too attached to parsley he'll abandon you too.' teya overhears basil mention something about firbolgs as they leave hmmm.

time to rest since ya know nothing else to do. senna does her dragon training. zen is taking up the entire bed goddamn. parsley reads his music notes. wheatley whines for parsley to get into bed xD hes also holding teya tightly lol. SP is just doing donut in the middle of the room. senna and the dragon are just. stuck in a standstill. not getting better but also not worse. she wakes up after shooting the dragon in the eye with an ice shard cause it shot back with a fireball to the face now she has a headache. she goes to stand on the balcony for a while with android.

theres no nighttime here just like an eclipse somehow. SP rolled over to wheatley for uppies onto the bed. teya gets up to grab parsley cause their gonna make a deal oooo. pinky promise! defeat zorbolt or die trying. as they let go a spark appears and disappears. deal dealed! parsley drops that he is 'technically' an archfey lol. teya asks for warlock powers xD.

parsley doesnt wanna sleep in a pile boo. zen tricks parsley into getting into bed when they get off, then they pile on him xD teya still takes the chair. android looks back and laughs. 'wanna join u-' 'no.' teya writes in her journel. wheatley gets up and sits on teya. its chaos hour wtf xD zen sighs sadly and lets parsley go and getting off the bed. wheatley gets off teya and sits on the floor by zen.

zen says tomorrow is gonna be busy, like some outside force? hmmm. parsley leaves to get food and some guards follow him. he sees rosemary at the table! shes not very talkative hmm. teya steals parsleys bed xD

sennas arm itches and it has more scales, sigh. she can see the land itself moving around, neat. android comments his god doesnt know much about the feywilds. senna says she was told it was made of primordial chaos. like spingledorfs orb maybe. this land existed before Gaia. who the fuck knows xD dont try to solve the feywilds.

android asks what will we do if it comes to a fight. 'kill her!' thanks wheatley. senna comments about the silver box and her jewerly. android says if we would leave him here. prepare for the worst case. yeah were fighting for parsley we cant leave him here. loyalty!

archfey bullshit. 'we WERE told you need all 4 of us to beat zorbolt.' parsley did his best to help teya, gotta repay the favor. were not leaving him here android.

rosemary says parsley shouldnt have come back and leaves. parsley returns to the room and sighs and flops on the bed. he calls over wheatley lol. as we go to sleep parsley dreams himself in the woods. fiddlefink is pissed lol. his sleep paralysis demon xD good morning!

[just-before-dawn]

Alo. I just saw your ask on Tugoffelees and in there you mentioned a "superhero au." And may I ask you to elaborate on that? It sounds interesting ☆w☆ (I almost had the image of Mistoffelees being this super powered magic hero and Tugger being his Lois Lane)

omg yeye lemme elaborate of course of course

so thinking of a cats au (they look like the typical humanized cats) where the jellicles are gifted with some sort of superpower, because of this, they have like this organization where heroes are sent out to save the other cat people from crisis and whatever. munkustrap is the leader of this group currently, organizing where which heroes would go where and etc.

tugger's power super strength, he also has high defense. although, tugger fucks around a lot. he's very cocky about what he does. he saves depending on the crowd, how much attention he would get. munkustrap gets pissed off at him a lot for this, but yet tugger's strength is very useful in most situations.

the main goal of this superhero organization is to take down macavity's league of villains. they've never found him before, but the guy keeps sending people out to cause harm and calamity.

while tugger was out on night patrol (that he didnt want to be on because he had a smoking hot date that night but was forced into this), he was suddenly attacked by one of macavity's cats, who's strength rivaled his own. it was a touch fight, tugger was actually on the verge of losing, really giving him a wakeup call that macavity's group of cats were getting stronger by the second. but suddenly some sort of blast hit the other guy and tugger was able to fight him off.

the guy managed to escape and tugger was horribly messed up, but he tried to find whoever threw that blast, literally saving his life. he was only met with a suspicious shadowy figure lurking in distance. it wasnt macavity, no, it was a some cat he had never seen before, his fur was sparkling in the moonlight. the cat then disappeared before tugger could even call out to him.

after that night, tugger would be out there doing more missions because he knew of the true danger that macavity's group was capable of. every time, he would be secretly helped by the shadowy figure. he always chased after him, never catching more than a small glimpse of the guy.

one night, tugger finally did catch up to the shadowy figure, revealing the cat who was about the same age as him but just smaller in stature. he wore a masquerade-esque mask around his eyes and wore a bowtie along with a top hat (very much tuxedo mask from sailor moon kind of vibes). tugger finally said his thanks and asked him who he was. the cat said nothing more than his name: mistoffelees. he disappeared once more.

tugger would end up managing to catch up to mistoffelees every time, perhaps he was getting slower. nobody knew who this cat was and he had no history. tugger would find out the mysteries as he met up with him more and more.

thats the general basis i have for this au, i wanna keep thinking about it more lol

[molluskzone]

isaac next! hes off model here (my sketch was much cuter, hes supposed to look like shit but not THIS much) but. whatever. today i learned that your signature does not technically have to be your name!

well, i knew that before because my friends older sibling said once that she was going to make her signature a smiley face but her mom yelled at her while she was telling us this so i wasnt sure if it was true or not. and i looked it up and it is! and i think isaac would have done this too lmao except less wholesome

decided he probably would be an organ donor idk. as for his hair he just pushes it out of his face to the side and it just stays there due to its texture / density. also he is NOT following proper ID photo guidelines here but i didnt feel like changing the sketch. also im squinting like HELL in my own id photo which you technically arent supposed to do so he can angle his head down and eyes up who gives a shit. i think in my original sketch i intended to have him be underweight when the photo was taken when hes a bigger guy in the other pics ive drawn of him but i put a normal ish weight for his height in the sketch so im not sure. what the hell i was doing. but i just kept it idk who cares

i debated whether or not isaac would even HAVE a valid drivers license because he canonically has had multiple DUIS but apparently the revocation length for that in wisconsin ranges from only a few months so i guess it can be canon? depending on the timing when this license is issued. he dies before it can be revoked again anyways so like LOL. maybe ill redraw it with one of those "ADULT NON DRIVERS LICENSE" IDs

[rigginsstreet]

So uh. I don’t think I have an answer for you exactly, but I do have some information? Idk.

I don’t like talk shows, but I do watch soap operas. Yeah, like some grandmother from 1984, whatever. Anyway, my dad asked me several weeks back how exactly they continue to run new episode amid everything going on, so I looked into it. Evidently actors on soaps are covered under a different contract than like nighttime television, streaming, and film people. So their contract is not under negotiation at present. However, many employees are non union employees, particularly their writers, so they continue to generate new content, thus the show can go on indefinitely.

Mysteriously I can’t really find current info, most of this is from like two months back or more.

Anyway, where I’m going with this. The same contract for soap opera actors covers pretty much all daytime television. I mean, news continues to run, obviously. I was also wondering when I saw drew barrymore was coming back, so I looked up the whole ordeal and to me, it sounds likely that they are basically going to emulate what soaps have been doing this whole time. As in, actors can be on daytime and talk shows no problem, and they could use non union writers. Still kinda unclear despite everything, but that’s what I’m getting.

You mentioned other talk shows as well. So the talk, also on cbs, has been on hiatus since the start of the strike, I think. But I think it was mostly in solidarity. Whether drew is actually crossing lines, I’m not 100% sure, because as you said it’s all pretty garbled right now. I think people are just thinking it is a change from previous views the show expressed and a bit disrespectful given the current situation. And maybe since she’s like a film star who just these past few years has a talk show? But essentially, other talk shows and soap operas have been operating under the same conditions this whole time.

Sorry, that’s probably not actually helpful. Yeah, just, sorry. I saw you talking about network television and latched on full force. I somehow have a massive headache and probably missed the point that I’m actually trying to make.

my mom and grandma are huge days of our lives fans (and my mom also watches general hospital) so i know all about the soap contracts lmao

but yeah i was reading through the comments on the insta post drew posted about continuining the show and all the comments are talking about how shes crossing the picket line and and they were organizing a strike outside the studio she films in today so everyones acting like she's doing something bad but from what i can tell... she isnt? technically?

because if the daytime shows are the ones that have different contracts and get to bypass the strikes, and the night shows arent, why back in the 2008 strikes was it fine for all the shows to continue on without writers? conan had like whole slots of time dedicated to being like "well we have no writers so lets do stupid shit to fill time". he wasnt crossing picket lines.

im sure many discussions were had before she decided to carry on with the show and i doubt anyone would have encouraged her to cross picket lines that would just be terrible pr

somethings afoot here it is very garbled like you said lol

[anissapierce]

Ok so extra thoughts on mut mayhem after watching for the second time:

Aprils hair isnt entirely red and there's about two small locs that are actually black one is like there for basically the whole movie the other is mostly hidden by the other locs until near the end. Its possible this is a new version if the movie ...similar to all the 'patches' that went on w across the spidv but idk i think i just missed it while watching at the AMC

The boys get back from watching the movie in Brooklyn bridge park (? Idk where it is could be prospect, marine etc any park lol ) sometime after 2 am bc the clock in leos bunk says 2:22 or sometime similar ?

Ok now for actual more plot related kinda spoilery stuff

I paid attn n the first dude tht reaches out to splinter when he's hurt is Def Eastman. Wait .....lol i missed the line abt him needing a vet or a doctor? Weird idk if it was said by eastmans character or someone else. Ngl this watch felt like it wasnt as long ? But i chalked it up to this being my second viewing i don't think my theater was showing an abridged version n i probably just missed tht line organically

At the amc i totally missed that cynthia had fly in the jar? At the end and i forget tht she was surveiling the turtles? So its good to know that superfly isnt Gone gone but damn him being reduced to a housefly is pretty sad ....esp a housefly thts being held by TCRI.

Again in love the character design as an asymmetrical lady myself. I love cynthia Utroms design esp bc we Nvr see women tht look like tht in animated movies or tbh live action movies but like theres women tht look like tht

I love how basically any sign in a background cant be read bc its scribbles unless its plot relevant like the high school bulletin board...

I paid special attn to aprils pins n scooter + helmet stickers n yeah tht shit is inscrutable on purpose but bc i saw the concept i noticed

The all power tothe people Sticker based on shape n color but nothing else specific.

Ok so april didn't Akira slide exactly but she kinda did ? While everyone is coming back from staten island n doing a cool walk april n her new tcri ride move sideways across the group pretty sure the bike/scooter/motorbike was sideways too idk .... Donnie akira slid w the pizza truck near the end. At the end wingnut was so happy tht donnie had an Akira boxset.

Also i was listening so hard to scutterbugs like three lines of 'dialogue' n like theres no way yall heard tht n thought alex hirsch like thats impossible im p sure if bauza did those 'lines' i wouldn't even know it was him n bauza has a much more distinctive voice

[ithisatanytime]

Caroline Polachek - Blood and Butter [Nightcore]\

 are you an investigative minded go getter with dreams of becoming a journalist someday? heres a scoop, jews fund the black isrealites (probably through the CIA)  i dont have any proof, but i know its true, and since i said it you know its true as well, now you just have to find the proof and ask yourself why they would do that? and theres your big story. you wont get rich from it right away but likely richer than you are now and you will be famous. go ahead and check

 they do fund the black israelites, i have no proof like i said before but im literally certain of it. they fund the black israelites for the same reason they funded the ancient alien show and they are pushing the ancient civilizations bullshit meme, because modern “jews” are edomites (THAS RIGHT!) they fund these loony tunes organizations and theories because they are adjacent to the truth, even in the case of ancient aliens it literally rhymes with the truth, so that if a man told you that ancient aryans likely built the pyramids of both egypt and central and south america they would sound crazier to a normy than they already plainly would.

 yes white people were here before the “first” nation mongoloids by thousands of years(im using mongoloid in the anthropological sense, to mean broadly east asian) and there is ample proof in the form of a mummified body in florida that had its genome ran and it came back western european (as if the perserved blond hair wasnt enough) and by the way this isnt some fringe thing this was aired including the dna results on a discovery channel documentary years ago, there are several very old mummies in “indian” burial mounds that they literally refuse to let scientists take a hair from to dna test because its “corpse desecration” in reality they know white people were here before them and several tribes record oral legends of a blond haired tribe that essentially taught them everything before either being massacred or sailing off again towards the west. there is also the matter of the swastikas and blue eyed figurines throughout central and south america.

 here is a controversial take, a people that builds doenst stop building, they dont just suddenly decide to stop, even if they did decide hey maybe three monuments is enough for this settlement they would maintain the monument at least lol. white people build monuments and civilizations, brown people move in to reap the benefit, white people move, and the same process repeats and has been repeating since god made the first white man (adam) and the people who build civilizations and monuments now are the same whove been doing it since the dawn of recorded time. the other explanation is that these monuments were built by the brown people who currently reside in their ruins but had at some point just forgot how to build these structures or even how to maintain them against the elements. it was white people, always was. remember the quote i shared describing the racial makeup of india, egypt, and sub saharan africa (aetheopia) was from the first century AD and the pyramids had been standing for THOUSANDS of years at that point.

 this is not a post about racial pride, this is a post about survival. white people are good people, you better get smart, you are living in formerly white countries because white people are good people theres no other reason (unless you are descended from slaves, in which case jews brought you here) jews have usurped the throne from whites and EVERYONE is laid low as a result. everyone. deep down in your heart of hearts you know every word of this to be true. imagine the pride one must have felt seeing a monument like a great pyramid completed, knowing you played a role in something so magnificent. i cant take credit for that whether or not my ancestors built those monuments, but imagine instead of looking at a monument, you were looking at a world, a world you helped save from destruction. thats something we could all take pride in together.

[emeraldbabygirl]

I was looking for a specific post and I haven’t found it yet and don’t know if I will but while searching through my onlyoneof posts I forgot I used to offer my organs and odd body parts and livestock that I don’t have to people? Like in exchange for pics and any ooo content? And then I would threaten them by saying “you have 24 hours” IM GONNA CRY WTF. I remember me during my onlyoneof era ok those fruity boys turned me into such a sensitive person, got me crying and giggling over the most intimate things so I understand half of what I said but everything else? AND I WASNT POSSESSED OR DRUNK AND THATS ON GOD. Bro. Wow. I’m so afraid to watch the shipping mvs because I’ll turn into a puddle lol. Anyway just thought it was odd and kinda funny. I did the same with Rolling Quartz once AND THEY LIKED MY COMMENT SLSKSKS HYUNJUNG LIKE LET ME PREPARE THE ONE ROOSTER I HAVE TO LAY EGGS 😤💀💀💀

[dballzposting]

Reviews are in .. Thank you for your honesty....

I especially like the part about Goten having to be physically restrained from making a wish on the dragon balls. No details were given on his age and relative level of maturity/understanding of the world, nor were they given on the specifications of his wish, which leaves much open to interpretation. Maybe he was going to wish that all men everywhere can have the power to give birth becasue of #feminism, but Gohan & Videl had to stop him becasue that would cause a rash of accidental pregnancies and chaos everywhere. And he listens closely as they explain this to him as Shenron hangs out overheard ominously and patiently

Unfortunately I believe that we are all in agreeance. I think that a strictly canon interpretation would have Son Goten be like "Uh....What? O.o The Internet is So WEIRD . . . " and he and TRunks would look at each other in equal shock, feeling the same somatic intrusion onto their male bodies that the image invokes, and then run off to beat each other up in the Capsule Corp gardens

But here on dballzposting.net, we the commen men discuss the truth.

I also thouhht that Goten would approach the subject with a sort of whimsy and delight and intrigue. If Trunks was 15 and discovering the internet and he found out about mpreg he would be like "UH . . . EUGH !!!??" and he wouldn't ever talk about it. If Goten were also already there thouhg then while Trunks is wincing Goten would have a crazed/delighted grin spreading across his face

Trunks is of a certain culture where things make him uncofmrotable. Some things about bodies make him uncomfortable. Some things about nature make him uncomfortable. He's not so bad off that he's detached from himself becasue he IS a highly-tuned warrior, but he cannot tolerate the image of a male pregnancy. You could argue that he's in the right for being revolted, because it's unnatural and you're never gonna see that, but I would argue that his intolerance to his own discomfort is a sign of a rigid mind in of itself. It implies an intolerance for the weirdness of actual reality and the beauty of nature. Honestly anything could happen. What if an organism that you defined as male by your standards DID get pregnant? Are you gonna stand there and cast taboo? Onto the tangible reality before you?

Meanwhile Goten has grown up in the wilderness of Mt Paozu and he loves the plants and animals. When he was young Gohan had described to him the different ways that various plants reproduce so Goten is set up from an early age to be comfortable comprehending the bullshit that's out there. And he thinks it's beautiful

When he was young and he found out that male dogs had teats too he honestly thought that the papa dog could nurse the young too then. But the papa dog just didnt becasue he was in the Otherworld or something

Then a while later he realized that male humans/saiyans have nipples too and he was like UH ?!

And Gohan had to explain genetics and evolution or whatever. And he wasnt sure if he was getting his point across, but at the end Goten almost teared up and said "my nipples are proof that all the moms before me loved their babies...." and Gohan did not fucking know how he got to that conclusion but it seemed that Goten had taken a view of majesty for the natural world so Gohan figured that it was all good and well.

So back to the mpreg. Goten would be delighted he would be like "LOL ?!" He would be a little fascinated and also wildy entertained like a hyena. ESPECIALLY becasue Trunks doesnt like it. Goten would find ways to bring it up / allude to it becasue it is Genuinely on his mind and of interest, and Trunks is always like STOP MAKING EVEYTTHING ABOUT MPREG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I do believe that Son Goten lives life naturally & is true to himself and so that means that he lives as a male would and he is a total air-headed slag in GT, and that doesnt contradict with his inborn mammalian affiliation to care for young. He's always been respectful of nature and careful with little critters and babies. He does want to be a dad one day. Or maybe a mom. Kind of both really. He didn't have a dad growing up so he kind of imprinted on his mom and he definitely does think that he will be a housespouse one day. That's just how his spirit has assessed its reality

His behaviors don't really relfect that and he doesn't notice that though. He's never like "hey so maybe i should tie down a girl and learn how to cook?" He still does fuckall for forever. He's a free spirit and likes to adventure. He doesn't perceive a conflict of interests here

So he thinks mpreg is cool. he doesn't know about gay people yet so it really feels like some magical thing that is completely unlike anything else he's ever seen, yet is as right as the rain. I think he's been explained the ambiguity of sex in genetics and the reality of intersexuality so maybe that's why he takes to it fine, but that explanation had been a scientific approach, and right now he's finding something more spiritual then a textbook can offer. Like the human mythos around deities that are both sexes or otherwise sexually ambiguous. He giggles churlishly about it as Trunks pulls his own hair out but he also is awe-struck under the surface

If you were gonna pick any dragon ball character who could handle being mpreg in a mature and practical manner then my votes would be 1. Krillin, 2. Vegeta, and 3. Son Goten. The reason Goten is only number 3 is becasue again in a strictly canonical interpretation (not that GT is technically canon but whatever) he would be like EUGH ? IM PREGNANT ?? HUH!??!?!! and flip out about it.

Anyway. The Shenron wish thing reminded me of how in april 2022 i drew a comic where Goten was designing he and Trunks's future children and Trunks was pitching a fit about how impossible and weird thast was and Goten was all "Ok so Shenron then! Geez!" and yeah ... Forgor about that ..... Nothing new under the sun .......................

Unfortunately this all sent me on a tangent where I was like "What If Goten fell into possession of an infant like would he actually mother it?" and basically I started thinking about how if Trunks had an ex-gf who dropped a baby on his doorstep and he's all freaking out about it and he can't be President of Capsule Corp AND be a dad so he goatropes Goten into watching the baby until he finds out what to do about it . But this is 2.5 years after GT and in that time Goten has come to think of himself as an emotionally wise and peaceful individual (who still wears purple man jeans) and despite his slag tendencies he takes to this predicament with stunning commitment. Trunks comes home and Goten has acquired baby bottles and milk formula and he has been holding the baby so carefully all day. He's like "This is very difficult for the baby because he has been separated fro his mother. I don't know how any mother could bear to do that. She must be in so much pain. I hope she heals" and he's just been trying to get the baby to eat all day. With surprising sensitivity and peace. He's not anxious and scared he's just like .. In acceptance that this is an extreme emotional battle for the baby and he's just trying to facilitate as much ease through it as he can. He's not taking acute psychic damage from it

And over the days he and Trunks bicker becasue Trunks is stressed out of his gourd about this and eventually when Trunks asks to hold the goddamn kid ("Can I have my damn baby back?"), Goten doesnt move and he looks at him and he's like. "OUR baby." And Trunks is speechless hes just so put off about this whole thing. He's so bent out of shape and he has no capacity for jokes. But Goten wasn't joking

Goten is seeing something larger than himself at play here while Trunks is hung up on transactional duties, and seeing as he doesn't like his job and never wanted to be a parent, he does not like this set-up of being a dad who works during the day. So he wants to get Goten out of here before it becomes too much like a housewife-and-husband arrangement. That's just too close for comfort. But the baby cries whenever he sees Trunks bc Trunks has such an ugly face (just like the baby Trunks and Vegeta) and Goten is unemployed and willing to help so Trunks's hands are tied really.

There's a day weeks in, when some semblance of routine is beginning to form, when Trunks comes home and sees his sister's schoolbag sitting inside by the door. And he's thinking OH GOD NO and he runs into the house and finds Goten just sitting there letting Bura hold the baby

and Trunks is so fucking mad and freaked out. He didn't want this news to get out. This is HIS fucking problem. No one can know about this yet

He actually drops to his knees and clasps his hands and beseeches Bura to please not fucking tell their parents PLEASE.

(This is how you have to interact with her you have to be all dramatic so that she can flip her hair and tell you to stop being so dramatic.)

And Bura stands there looking down at him her hands on her hips (she's already handed the baby back to Goten), wearing bright red clothes and golden jewelry, and she says, "Why would I do THAT?"

And Trunks looks up at her, shocked by this easy mercy, and she continues with: "Do you think that I just, what, have conversations with them? You think I tell them about my day? YOU THINK THEY ASK? You'd have to actually hand them the baby before they'd start to suspect anything."

So that's cool. Bura wants to come around sometimes to make sure that her nephew knows her. She wants him to look up to her and respect her and know that she's cool and smart and wise and is always there if he needs any help. And she lives pretty naturally and in-tuned too, so she's not afraid to admit that she enjoys seeing babies grow. This is the first she's gotten to see it.

That night Trunks has to go sit outside the come down from all the fucking stress he's been under. Goten goes out to sit with him and Trunks is like "Tell me it's gonna be okay" and Goten is like "It's already okay." Obviously this is all fucked to Trunks but Goten is able to be so calm about it so Trunks just fucking believes him. Like FINE. As long as you don't start hitting me with the skillet I'll let you be a housespouse at my fucking house. I appreciate the hot cocoa you make. I'd probbaly be dead without you

OR Goten asks Sgenron to make him mpreg for the laughs I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you think that Goten & Trunks would think about mpreg