#look at u got me talkin bout ancient phoenix lore lmao

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

How come you dont write anymore?

Now how to answer that doesn't sound extremely depressing lmao

Hmmm well when I was more active in the writing scene in the earlier days of this blog I was not in the best of places, both literally and mentally. Early teens with a sucky home life and school life, yadda yadda you get the picture. Couldn't draw yet so writin was the only decentish escape I had at the time.

Buuuut the kicker is that since this online space I had carved out for myself was my only place of solace which i had made with said writin I essentially doubled down on myself with a lotta pressure to try and keep said online haven safe and normal.

Which led me to start following fandom trends i didnt necessarily agree with but still went along regardless (like using HCs and characterizations i wasn't 100% on), placing myself on a waaaaaay too high of a pedestal when something I wrote didnt turn out how I wanted, slowly losing enjoyment for writing because I was so fearful of losin my lil online space i was writing more for stuff I knew other people would enjoy than what i really wanted to do.

So tl:dr I don't write anymore cause most of my writing was done durin a rlly rough time in my teens and i was so desperate for online validation as a lonely kid that a lot of the stuff i wrote i didn't rlly enjoy and im tryna unwork from off of that 😎👍