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inkedinshadows · 2 days ago

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The Path To Healing

Pairing: Azriel x f!reader

Summary: A glimpse into different moments of Azriel's life: from his childhood trauma to the physical healing, from his struggles and his acceptance to the beginning of his mental healing journey.

Warnings: angst, self-hate, self-consciousness, violence and blood, mentions of torture, language, fingering (brief)

Word count: 8.9k

A/N: I might or might not have cried while writing some parts of this. I focused only on Azriel's hands, and I'm sure I only scratched the surface of what his trauma is. I'm nowhere close to an expert on any of this, but I tried my best and hopefully did it justice. @azrielappreciationweek

Pain was all he knew.

His eyes hurt from crying, and he desperately wanted to rub them, but he couldn't. He couldn't, because his hands… His hands…

More tears poured down his already puffed cheeks, and his cries turned into a choked sound—sobs that tore through his chest and shook his little body, his wings a dead weight on his back.

“Shh,” his mother murmured, her voice soothing, her touch gentle as she cupped his face. “It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay, baby.”

Azriel didn't know how to believe her. It seemed to him like nothing could ever be okay again. He couldn't feel his hands anymore—they had been replaced by a blinding pain that reached up to his elbows. All he could see when he looked down was a red splotch, too red to be normal.

When his father had heard his screams, he’d called the healers. By then, it was too late, and the damage was already done. But his father had merely given his half-brothers a disappointed look and dumped Azriel in his mother's care, as if he had become even more of a burden than before. He didn't know what he had done to deserve it.

His mom began to hum a lullaby, but Azriel could barely hear it over his sobs and whimpers. She took one of his shaking hands in hers as gently as she could, touching his marred skin when strictly necessary, but even that drew a shriek from him.

“I know, baby,” his mother whispered as she began wrapping his hand in new strips of clean fabric. “I know it hurts. But I need to bandage it so it can get better, okay?”

Azriel tried to hold back his cries of pain as she worked. He tried to focus on her face and the lullaby instead, but he kept praying through it all—to the Cauldron, to the Mother, to whoever was listening—that it would be over soon. Just like he had begged and prayed while his half-brothers had burned him, but no one had come then.

Now, though, his silent prayers were answered.

“There you go, my love,” his mom said softly, placing a kiss on his forehead. “All done. See? Does it hurt a bit less now?”

He looked down to find his hands covered in white linen. The tight bandages applied just enough pressure to reduce the pain, even if only by just a fraction. He met his mother's concerned gaze and nodded weakly, watching as the corner of her lips twitched upward. It didn't help much, though, and tears still streamed down his face.

“Come here,” she whispered, gathering his shaking body in her arms and holding him close to her chest. “My precious boy. You'll get through this, Az. I promise.”

Azriel buried his face in her neck and cried until he was too exhausted to do even that. But his mom never stopped singing him an old Illyrian lullaby, rocking him back and forth as if he were a newborn baby.

She kept going long after he fell asleep.

~~~~~~

Azriel was staring at his hands, at the ridges of his new scars. He knew he should be practicing, but he could only stare.

“What is it, sweetie?”

His mother came up beside him. His father had allowed her to see him a bit more over the last few months, not wanting to spend money on healers more than once every other week when they came to check on him and his progress.

Azriel turned his hands over, now looking at the backs of them. He still wasn’t used to seeing them like this. How much time had he spent looking at them? During those long hours in his cell with no light, he had thought about them endlessly.

Sometimes, he could swear the darkness whispered in his ear, soothing his mind until he finally fell asleep.

“They're ugly,” he said. His voice was flat, as if he was simply stating a fact. Because that's what they were to him—ugly, ruined, useless. Always shaking and itching.

His mother's soft hands enveloped his smaller ones in a gentle hold. “Look at me.”

He obeyed, meeting her tender, reassuring gaze. Even at his young age, he knew she loved him. His stepmother never looked at him like that, on the rare occasions she even bothered to acknowledge his existence.

“Your hands are not ugly, my child,” his mom assured him. Her tone was calm, but there was a new resolution etched onto her features. “They've just been through a lot.”

Azriel shook his head. “They're ugly,” he insisted. “No one else has hands that look like this. They're full of scars and cuts and…”

His voice trailed off as his mom extended her wings behind her. A twinge of pain crossed her face, and she could only unfold them a few inches, but it was enough for Azriel to see the twin long scars running down their length. He didn't know how she got them, but she once told him she couldn't fly because of them. He’d felt an odd sense of relief at that, knowing his mom couldn't fly either—that her blood, like his, urged her to take off and roam the skies, yet neither of them could.

“Do you think my wings are ugly, Az?” she asked. She still spoke with that soft tone, but it was now tinged with firmness.

Azriel immediately shook his head. “No,” he answered. “No, they're not ugly.”

“But they have scars. They're ruined and useless.” How had she known those were the words he used for his own hands? Had he said them out loud? “What are wings for, if not for flying? Yet I can't fly anymore.”

He shook his head again, more firmly this time. “Mom, no,” he said, decisive and unyielding. “Your wings are beautiful. You're beautiful.”

Her face softened, a smile blooming on her lips as she gently squeezed his hands. “Then your hands are beautiful too.” She lifted them to her lips, kissing each one. “Think of them not as reminders of pain, but of strength. You've suffered a lot, but you're stronger. You're healing. And one day, it won't even hurt anymore.”

Azriel was silent for a long moment. “Is it really like that?”

“Of course, baby,” she reassured him, leaning down to press a kiss to his hair.

He knew she was lying. He saw the pain on her face when she moved her wings. They still hurt sometimes. But he believed her anyway, because he needed to.

His mother let go of his hands and picked up the pen he had discarded just a few minutes ago. “Do you think you can practice a little longer?”

Azriel didn't want to. His fingers had gone stiff earlier, the constant itching even stronger now. But he didn't want his hands to be useless, so he took the pen from her.

Almost two sheets of paper were covered with just one word, repeated over and over. His own name. Easy enough to write, yet the letters were crooked and shaky, the ink smeared where his hand had accidentally trailed over it.

With a sigh, Azriel set the pen on the paper and tried his best to keep his hand steady as he resumed the exercise.

~~~~~~

Azriel really wanted to get laid.

There was no other way to say it. Every time he heard Cassian and Rhysand talk about a new girl they had slept with, he felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to experience it too—to know what it felt like to have that kind of connection with someone and not have to resort to his own hand whenever he couldn't ignore his need.

But he had always been too shy to approach the pretty girls his brothers chatted up so easily. His hands did nothing to help his confidence.

Tonight, though, was bonfire night. Organized twice a year, it was held on the Spring and Autumn Equinox to celebrate the new season. And this year, Azriel had every intention of going home with a girl.

His brothers were laughing and pushing each other as they walked through the muddy streets of Windhaven. He wasn’t paying much attention to what they were saying—something about their earlier fight during training. No, Azriel’s mind was already focused on his plan.

He would keep a safe distance from the fire, where no incidents could happen. But he would scan the crowd of Illyrians for a female who caught his interest, and when he found her, he would approach her, talk a little, and then ask if she wanted to go somewhere more private.

Simple enough.

He was a warrior in training, after all. He had seven Siphons. He was a Shadowsinger.

He had nothing to fear from interacting with girls.

Yet, he couldn't recall the last time he’d started a conversation with a female. In the ten years he'd been at Windhaven, it had probably happened only with Rhys's mother. But she didn't count.

Someone bumped into Azriel, and, lost in his thoughts as he was, he almost fell to the ground. He managed to flare his wings to steady himself, glaring at Cassian as he regained his balance.

“Sorry about that,” Cassian said, though his snicker didn't make him sound particularly sincere. “I've been talking to you for two minutes, but you didn't hear a single word. What's going on?”

“Nothing,” Azriel mumbled, folding his wings behind him again. “Maybe you're just not worth listening to.”

Cassian gasped audibly, clutching his chest in mock heartache as a group of children sprinted by, headed for the square where the first booms of laughter and echoes of chattering rang out.

“Don't worry, Az,” Rhys chimed in before their brother could come up with a retort. “You'll get your first taste of sex tonight.”

Azriel shrugged off the hand Rhysand had placed on his shoulder. “Don't look in my mind,” he nearly growled, checking his mental shields just to be sure.

Both his brothers halted their steps and stared at him, twin shit-eating grins on their faces.

“I didn't,” Rhys said. “But thank you for confirming my suspicions.”

Cassian nudged him with an elbow, already teasing him about girls and first times and wingspans. With a snort, Azriel shoved him away and continued toward the bonfire, leaving the other two behind to push each other around, their chuckles chasing him down the street.

How they had guessed what he was up to, he didn't know. He’d been careful not to tell them, knowing their reaction would consist of snickers and jabs that he was in no mood for.

As he turned the corner, the square came into view. Just like every year, the bonfire stood in its center, rising several feet high and adorned with little homemade trinkets meant to bring good luck and a prosperous season when burned.

They would light it soon.

The square was already packed with people when Azriel reached it. Children ran around chasing each other, their laughs and screams echoing into the night. Warriors gathered in small groups, swords on their back and knives at their thighs or hips, not letting their guard down even during a festivity.

And then there were the females. Most sat together in a corner, chatting idly and glancing at the children from time to time. But some of them—the younger ones, the ones around Azriel's age—strolled in groups of two or three.

How was he supposed to approach them if they were always together? It was difficult enough when they were alone.

Azriel spotted Cassian and Rhys from the corner of his eye and moved deeper into the crowd, choosing to stand on the opposite side of the square from them. The last thing he needed was for his brothers to make fun of him.

Someone shouted a warning, and a moment later, the pyre was lit. Azriel flinched as flames erupted, pressing himself closer to the wall behind him. Even from this distance, he could feel the heat of the fire, warming his skin and casting a flickering glow all around.

He shut it out. He shut out the memory of what fire could do to flesh, the smell of burned skin, the screams and cries of a terrified eight-year-old boy. The shadows suddenly swirled around him, brushing against his arms and neck.

Past. Gone. Gone. Just memories.

Azriel closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, letting the truth they whispered calm his racing heart.

He sensed the girl before even the darkness could murmur of her approach.

He let his shoulders slump a little and slid his hands into his pockets, assuming a more casual stance. When he opened his eyes, she was watching him from a few feet away. Her head snapped around to stare at the bonfire as soon as she realized she'd been caught staring.

Azriel couldn't suppress his smirk. He had grown accustomed to females looking his way from the moment he’d hit puberty, but it still made him feel smug every time. Never mind that they didn't approach him—or that he never approached them.

But now, though. Now he would.

Taking one last deep breath, he took a nervous step toward her. And then another. She glanced in his direction, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, but one more step and Azriel was standing in front of her.

A few inches shorter than him, she didn't back away, her big brown eyes meeting his hazel ones. Her delicate face was framed by strands of wavy black hair that flowed past her shoulders, and he stopped himself before his eyes could travel downward to the curves shaping her slim body. She was pretty. Beautiful, even.

“Hi,” he said, attempting a smile. He wasn't sure it looked right.

The girl offered a small smile back. “I'm, uh… I didn't mean to stare. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It's alright.”

For a brief, awkward moment, they just stood there, looking at each other. Then Azriel realized she was waiting for him to say something more. Right.

“What's your name?” he finally asked, silently thanking the little shadow that had curled around his ear to whisper the suggestion.

“I'm Teagan.” The girl's smile widened. “And you're Azriel.”

Caught off guard, he blinked. “You know me?”

Teagan chuckled, a clear and crystalline sound that eased some of the tension in Azriel's body.

Some of it.

“I've seen you around,” she answered with a shrug. Firelight danced on her features. “There aren't many Shadowsingers here, you know. None, in fact. You're one of a kind.”

Her initial shyness seemed completely gone now. Good. That made one of them, at least. Because if her words were meant as flattery, they didn't work. Instead, they only made Azriel more nervous.

What if she had expectations? What if she started asking questions about his powers? What if she would be disappointed now that she was talking to him? What if she—

Azriel cleared his throat, trying to clear his mind at the same time. “Thank you,” he said.

Too stiff. Too short. Not an acceptable answer. But he didn't know what else to say. How was he supposed to talk to a girl when he’d barely had any social interaction for the first eleven years of his life?

But Teagan must have found his awkwardness endearing, because she smiled, amusement shining in her eyes. “Aren't you going to offer me some food?”

A blush crept up his cheeks as he glanced over to the few tables laid with food in one corner of the square. People were already gathering around them and filling their dishes. Cassian was there too, shamelessly flirting with a girl whose hands were already wandering over his chest.

Azriel turned back to Teagan and nodded, a shy smile forming on his face. “I am, actually.” He cleared his throat—as if it could help him sound more confident—then gestured to the tables with his head. His hands remained buried in the pockets of his coat. “Would you like to get some food?”

It came out too formal, and his posture was too rigid. And simply nodding toward the tables? Rude. How could Rhys do this so smoothly? How could Cassian be so bold and smug?

Teagan chuckled again, though. She looped her arm through Azriel's and steered him toward the food. “You've never done this before, have you?”

He almost choked. It was worse than he'd feared, then.

“No, not really… I…” His voice trailed off, and he had no idea how to recover.

She leaned in closer as they walked, and Azriel became acutely aware of just how close she was. Her body pressed against his side, and he could feel her breath on his neck now. He wanted to take her hand, or maybe even slide his arm around her waist. If only he had worn gloves, maybe he would have dared. Though he'd need to find the courage first.

“Am I the first girl you try to flirt with?” she asked, her tone teasing.

Try. Not just flirt, but try to flirt. He was failing so miserably. Maybe he should just give up and leave.

Azriel could only nod, his face a deeper shade of red than Cassian’s siphons.

“I think it's cute,” Teagan said, her big smile lighting up her pretty face. “I'm glad you chose me to be your first.”

If only she knew what kind of first Azriel hoped she would be… but judging by how things were going, he suspected they wouldn’t get that far.

“I… don't really know what I'm doing,” he admitted, unsure why he was even saying that. It probably wasn't a smart move to reveal it, but it was too late to take it back.

As they weaved through the crowd, Teagan stepped even closer to him, and in doing so, her wing brushed against Azriel’s. They both gasped, and though she smiled sheepishly, he didn’t miss the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“Sorry,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. “I just wanted to be closer to you. I really think you're cute. And I appreciate your honesty.”

Azriel smiled warmly, his heart thumping in his chest. He could still salvage this, maybe, so that his first interaction with a girl wouldn’t be a total failure.

As they stopped in front of the tables, he stepped back slightly to face her. “I think you’re cute too,” he said, meeting her gaze. He did his best not to sound shy or awkward. “You're very pretty.”

Her face lit up. “Thank you, Azriel.”

He was about to offer her some food when a group of kids suddenly weaved through the crowd and ran by. Azriel heard them coming and tucked his wings tightly, but Teagan either noticed them too late or couldn't fold her clipped wings any further.

The children bumped into her as they sprinted past, and she sucked in a sharp breath when one of them brushed her wing. Azriel was quick to grab her elbow to steady her, and something fluttered in his chest when she smiled in thanks. But then her gaze moved to his hand, still on her arm, and her eyes widened��in horror or shock, he couldn't tell.

He pulled his hand back as fast as he could, tucking it back into his pocket.

Too late.

Teagan swallowed, and the silence that stretched between them hit Azriel as painfully as a punch to the jaw.

“So,” he said eventually, feeling beyond awkward as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “What kind of food would—”

“I'm sorry,” she interrupted, already taking a small step back. Her eyes darted to the pocket where he’d hidden his hand before looking at him again. No warmth shone in them now. “But I forgot I had to… do something very important with my friend. Maybe another time.”

Azriel stood there, watching her turn and walk away without another glance. The rejection left him reeling. His mother could say whatever she wanted about his scars not being ugly or horrifying, but he now knew better than to believe her.

His hands balled into fists, and he took a deep breath, flexing his fingers. Without bothering to inform his brothers—who were probably on their way to sleep with yet another girl, since their hands were perfectly normal and unscarred—Azriel left the square. He put a few buildings between himself and the ongoing festivities before taking off to the skies.

He didn't return until long after the sun had set over the horizon.

~~~~~~

Azriel wished he could say he felt at least a bit bad for his half-brothers as Rhys and Cass threw punch after punch at their jaw and stomach. But all he felt while watching the scene unfold was a deep sense of satisfaction, which only grew with every new groan.

When Rhys had told him he needed to talk to his father for court matters, Azriel had refused to go. He had no interest in seeing his father or the rest of his family again, and Rhys had understood, asking Cassian to accompany him instead.

But Azriel had followed them. There was no reason for Cass to be there too, not when he was no good at playing courtier. He doubted Rhysand's father had told him to bring Cassian along.

Hidden in the shadows in the corner of the room, Azriel watched in silence as his brothers—his real ones, the only ones who mattered, as far as he was concerned—landed blow after blow. He knew now this was the real reason they'd come here.

Cassian had been itching for a fight from the moment they arrived and he didn't do a good job at hiding it. Azriel wasn't sure Cassian even tried to hide it. Rhys looked more composed, the perfect picture of the future High Lord dealing with minor problems of his Court. But as soon as Azriel's father had left, both of them had turned to his half-brothers with pure rage in their eyes.

One of them had been either bold or stupid enough to smirk. “How's our bastard brother doing?”

Rhysand and Cassian had both snapped. Despite being a few years older, his half-brothers didn't stand a chance. A warm feeling of affection was the only thing filling his chest as Azriel watched the two Illyrians who had taken him in, taught him how to fly, and showed him what a real family looked like, beat the shit out of whom was supposed to be his actual family.

He didn't make a sound, using his shadows to conceal even his scent. They were all too busy to pick up on it, even more so now that the metallic scent of blood filled the air, but he preferred to be careful.

Azriel didn't know exactly how much time had passed when Rhys and Cass finally relented, their chests heaving and their knuckles smeared with red. They straightened their backs, Cassian’s wings still spread in a fighting stance. Rhys, on the other hand, looked more relaxed, but his cold expression betrayed him.

“Don't you dare speak of him like that again,” Cassian snarled. His voice was just slightly breathless despite the beating he'd just given. “Especially after what you did to him.”

Azriel fought the urge to look down at his scarred hands. Being back in his father's keep was enough to stir memories he had long tried to forget. Instead, he focused on his brothers, on how much they must love him to risk hurting and threatening the sons of an Illyrian lord because of what they'd done to him.

Rhys exchanged a knowing glance with Cassian, and they turned to leave, abandoning his half-brothers on the floor. But they stood with a groan, battered and bloodied, still as arrogant as before. If not more so, now that they needed to make up for their bruised ego after being beaten so easily by a half-Illyrian and a low-born bastard.

One of them, the oldest, flared his wings as if trying to appear more intimidating. “He deserved it,” he spat.

Azriel had to stop himself from lunging forward and burying his own fist in his half-brother's stomach. He wanted to make him understand, to wave his hands in front of his face and yell at him. See this? This is what you did to me. I was eight! How could I have deserved it?

But he remained still, standing in the corner with his hands balled into fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms.

Rhysand held back Cassian as he tried to pounce on Azriel’s half-brothers. Cassian looked outraged, as if he couldn't understand why he suddenly wasn't allowed to fight. But Azriel could see the expression on Rhys's face and knew his brother had something different in mind.

“You think Azriel deserved it?” he asked, his voice unnervingly calm. He looked a lot like his father now—aware that he didn't need to raise his voice or his fists for people to obey.

“Well, fortunately for you, I can't show you exactly what I think you two deserve,” Rhys continued, slowly slipping his hands into his pockets. “But I can at least give you a taste of it.”

Before anyone could move, a crack pierced the air, immediately followed by a sharp cry of pain as his half-brothers both collapsed to the ground once more. Their legs lay beneath them at strange angles, the bone of one protruding where it had pierced the skin. The scent of blood grew stronger as the white tiles turned red.

His mother would have disapproved, Azriel knew that. She believed vengeance should not be sought out, and that living well in spite of what had happened was more than enough. Perhaps she was right, and Azriel was as bad and cruel as his half-brothers, after all. But as he stood there, watching them bleed and whine and scream for a healer who didn't come, all he felt was a deep sense of satisfaction, knowing that they now felt a fraction of the helplessness he had felt when they burned him.

Cassian crossed his arms, a feral grin spreading across his face. “Stop crying, boys,” he taunted. “It's not like you won't heal.”

The corner of Rhys's lips curled into a smirk. “I put a shield around the room. No one can hear you or smell the blood. I think I'll leave it in place and let you crawl out to ask for help.”

With a glance to Cassian, Rhys gestured toward the door in a silent command, and they walked out without sparing the two Illyrians another glance.

But Azriel stayed a few more moments. Just long enough to see his half-brothers try to rise, fail miserably, and fall back on the floor. When they began to crawl, using their hands to drag themselves across the floor, smearing their blood over the tiles and their clothes, Azriel smiled.

He didn't care if they were spouting insults at him and his brothers. He didn't care what kind of person that made him. The sight of his half-brothers crawling and bleeding delighted him.

With one last look at them, Azriel winnowed away, his heart full of love for the two brothers the Cauldron had blessed him with.

~~~~~~

It felt like centuries had passed since Azriel had last been this nervous around a girl. It had likely been over a hundred years, if not more, since he couldn't recall the last time he went on a date. Even longer since he’d had a genuine crush. Normally, he just approached girls, or they approached him, and things quickly escalated into a night of sex. But it was nothing more than that—just fucking.

With you, it was different.

He met you a couple of weeks ago when he walked into your little bookstore to buy a present for Nesta's birthday. You were so nice and radiant that he couldn't stop thinking about you, and he lost count of how many times he came, buying books he didn't need and asking for recommendations only to listen to you talk. And then he had finally asked you out, and your smile had lit up the whole shop as you said yes.

He was standing on the other side of the street, watching as you closed up the store for the day. Your dress flew around your legs in the evening breeze, and your hair was styled in a simple bun on your head.

Azriel smiled as you crossed the street. As usual, he had to hold back his shadows as they swirled excitedly around him. “You look lovely,” he said when you stopped in front of him.

“Thank you,” you replied quietly, lowering your gaze for a second before looking at him with a smile. “You're not too bad either.”

He chuckled softly. “Thank you.” Offering his arm, he gestured to the street. “Shall we?”

You looped your arm through his, and together you strolled along the Sidra, your steps unhurried.

Conversation flowed easily, and Azriel relaxed more as you talked about everything from your job to his preference for flying over winnowing. His shadows, which had lingered around his wings, vanished completely. But then you got to the little restaurant where he had reserved a table, and he grew nervous once more.

Even with your arms linked, your focus never drifted to his hands during the walk. Your eyes were either on him or your surroundings, making it easy to forget his marred skin.

Until you sat across from him and the food arrived. There was no way now you wouldn't notice his scars, which normally wasn't a problem—he'd stopped caring about strangers' opinions years ago. But you weren't a stranger, and you weren't just another girl he wanted to fuck.

You were sweet and beautiful, and he was drawn to you in a way he hadn't experienced in decades. He didn't want you to run away from him.

Maybe he shouldn't have taken you out to dinner on the first date, because now it was probably going to be the last one too.

Yet you didn't stare at his hands. You acted as if everything was normal, never commenting or asking what had happened to him. You carried on the conversation just like before, and when Azriel, hiding his distress behind a carefully crafted mask, asked you about a theater play you'd just mentioned, you launched into a passionate description of its plot and themes. His uneasiness slowly faded as he watched your eyes light up. You leaned closer over the table, so engaged in your story that Azriel found himself smiling and nodding along, only half listening, his worries about his hands momentarily forgotten.

Your voice suddenly trailed off mid-sentence, and you leaned back in your chair, tilting your head to the side. “What?” you asked with a soft smile. Before he could answer, you tensed and added, “I've done it again, haven't I? Rambling on about something you don't care about.”

Azriel shook his head, his hand itching to reach across the table and brush yours, though he held back. “Y/N,” he said, his voice quiet and reassuring. “I do care. I asked you that question. You just had that look on your face.”

Your brow furrowed. “What look?”

“The one you have when you talk about something you like,” he answered, watching your expression grow confused for a second. “You have it when you talk about books too.”

You were quiet for a moment, and then your eyes narrowed slightly. “Azriel,” you said slowly, but your lips twitched up in a smirk. “Did you ask for all those recommendations just to hear me talk?”

“Maybe,” he conceded, a faint blush creeping up his neck. His heart fluttered as your eyes met, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

He’d forgotten having a crush could feel like this—like being a boy again. Only now he knew what to do.

He’d never been much of a talker, preferring to listen and chime in occasionally, but with you, it was easy. You had your own way of involving him, asking questions or simply waiting for him to share his thoughts. Even though you barely paused, Azriel never felt like you were hogging the attention. On the contrary, you made him more at ease.

After you left the restaurant, you went strolling through the streets of Velaris. Azriel was just about to answer your question about how fast, exactly, an Illyrian could fly when you let out a delighted squeal, grabbed his hand, and pulled him toward a small bakery.

“Oh, I was waiting for this place to open!” You stopped in front of the window with a dreamy sigh before turning to look up at him. “I forgot it was today. Can we go in? Please, tell me you like pastries!”

Your enthusiasm was endearing, but Azriel couldn’t help glancing down at your hand still holding his larger, scarred one. You didn't seem to notice—or if you did, you didn’t care.

Your grip loosened slightly as you noticed the shift in his attention, but you didn't let go. “Sorry,” you said quietly, your eyes searching his face. “I got a bit carried away. Is this alright?”

He wasn't sure what to say. The lump in his throat made it hard to speak. That you had grabbed his hand without thinking was enough to leave him speechless, but what you were asking now… it wasn’t just that you weren't bothered by his scars. It was that you wanted to keep holding his hand. Azriel couldn't wrap his mind around it.

You probably misunderstood his silence because you started to pull back. He immediately held your hand tighter, gently squeezing it, as if to silently reassure you. “No, it’s okay,” he said quickly, his voice softer than usual. “I’m just…” Not used to it. “You caught me off-guard, that’s all.”

“I caught the spymaster off guard?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be worried? Do we need to inform the High Lord?”

Azriel shook his head with a soft chuckle, his gaze lingering on you before he gestured toward the bakery. “Would you still like those pastries?”

Your eyes lit up, and Azriel made a mental note of how much you liked sweets. “Oh, yes, please!”

“Then let’s get you some, shall we?”

You walked past him as he held the door open for you, a grateful smile lighting up your face. Your hand remained entwined with his, and for once, Azriel didn’t feel the need to hide it.

You did not let go until he walked you home and you closed the front door behind you, and Azriel had never felt such lightness as he flew back to the House of Wind.

~~~~~~

Azriel sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands with a grimace on his face.

Someone had tried to infiltrate Velaris, likely sent from the Hewn City, and Azriel had been called to find out why. He could still recall the blood and the pleading whimpers. But in the end, he got the information he wanted. He always did.

At a cost.

He had long since learned to keep a cold expression, even in the face of the suffering he caused. He was used to it after centuries, and as long as it kept his city and family safe, he didn't care how cruel he had to become. Maybe it made him a horrible person, but his soul wasn't the cost.

The cost was his hands.

Even after all this time, being in the cells beneath the Hewn City was like being back in the cell in his father's mansion. He had to shut down every part of him that felt, bury those memories deep down in his mind, and remind himself that he wasn't a helpless child anymore.

He was a five-hundred-year-old warrior, and he had a job to do.

But once the job was done, and Rhys decided how to deal with the prisoner and the consequences, Azriel would go back to his room knowing he didn't have much time.

He would wash his bloodied hands, though he knew no matter how much he washed, he could never cleanse them completely. He had five centuries worth of blood on them. After they were clean, if he was lucky, like today, he had time to peel off his leathers before the inevitable happened.

The pain.

No matter how many times he’d been in those dungeons, no matter how many years had passed since he’d last been locked in his father’s cell, he still didn’t know how to stop the pain from returning.

It wasn’t as bad as it had been the first few times, and it was nothing compared to what he had felt while his hands were being burned and in the days after. But Azriel still gritted his teeth, a low hiss escaping from him.

He tried clenching them into fists, but the relief lasted only a few seconds before he had to relax them again. His fingers were stiff as he reached for the drawer, a fresh surge of stinging pain hitting him when he pulled it open. Shadows dove in before he could and quickly whisked up a small jar of white cream. They undid the lid, and Azriel felt grateful for the dark companions that had never once left his side now more than ever.

Willing his hands to cooperate, he scooped up some of the soothing balm a healer had made for him. It always took a little while for its effect to show, but pain was an old friend he had learned to live with.

The herbal scent filled the room as Azriel did his best to spread the balm over every inch of his hands, trying to ignore the stinging itch. Scratching would only make it worse, reddening his already scarred skin until it threatened to bleed again.

He shifted to lie on the bed, wings spread beneath him. He just had to endure the ache for a few more minutes before the balm took effect, and then he could try to sleep. He needed some rest after such a long day, if only to have a clear mind when he met you the next afternoon.

As his shadows hummed in his ear the Illyrian lullaby his mother used to sing him as a child, Azriel let his eyes drift close, flexing his aching fingers every few seconds, hoping for a faster relief.

~~~~~~

Things moved slowly with you.

Neither of you wanted to rush into anything and potentially ruin what you both knew could be the beginning of something great.

You went on several dates, and some ended with him spending the night at your apartment, snuggled up in your bed, which was too small for an Illyrian. Azriel didn’t care as long as he got to fall asleep with you in his arms.

But things had never gone this far.

When he came to your bookshop earlier, he had only planned to walk you home. You were tired from a long day dealing with customers, and he had to wake up early the next morning to leave for Illyria for a few days. Maybe it was the thought of not seeing you—even if only for a week—or the fact that you looked stunning in your simple dress, with strands of hair escaping from your messy bun. Whatever it was, Azriel wanted you. He needed you.

His lips parted from yours, both of you already breathing heavily. “I don't want to go home,” he murmured, his hands on your hips, twisting the thin fabric of your dress, wishing it weren't there.

“What do you want to do then?” you asked, amusement clear in your eyes. But there was desire there too, mirroring his own.

“I want to take off your dress,” he whispered, his fingers already moving to the straps on your shoulders. “Will you let me?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Take it off.”

With deft fingers, he slid the straps down your arms, and the fabric slipped off your body, pooling around your feet. You stepped out of it, and Azriel swallowed at the sight of you clad only in your cream underwear.

“If I had known we'd be doing this, I would have worn something more enticing,” you said quietly. There was no shyness or embarrassment in your voice, as if you were simply stating a fact. You did have a point—your lingerie was simple, something you wore every day. It didn't matter to Azriel.

He shook his head, stepping closer to you. “You don't need to,” he murmured. His hands cupped your face, tilting your head up to kiss you tenderly. “You're always stunning, sweetheart, no matter what you wear.”

You hummed, a smile playing on your lips. “Now I want to know what you think when I'm not wearing anything.”

Azriel chuckled, even as desire coiled in his groin. A part of him wanted to toss you on the bed and fuck you senseless. But most of all, he wanted to take his time exploring your body, finding every spot that made you squirm and sigh. Only after he'd thoroughly tasted you would he bury himself inside you.

“Let's find out,” he replied with a smirk, already knowing that, no matter what, you'd always be perfect in his eyes.

He reached behind you to unclasp your bra, and as he tossed it on the chair, he felt himself harden. Your breasts were full and supple, your pink nipples so inviting that he wanted to wrap his lips around them. Yet as he lifted a hand to touch you, he hesitated.

The stark contrast between your soft, smooth skin and his scarred fingers made him pause. He had touched you before, but never so intimately. How could he do that? His hands had so much blood on them. With how they looked, it felt only fitting he would use them for horrible things—to hurt people. Not to touch the wonderful girl he was falling for. How could he be so selfish as to sully you like that? You deserved so much better than him. Someone who didn’t torture and kill for a living, who didn’t have a dark past still haunting him.

Someone good.

He took a step back, lowering his hand.

“Azriel,” you called gently. There was no sign of judgment or disappointment in your voice. You just wanted him to look at you.

Slowly, his eyes met yours. To his astonishment, a soft smile bloomed on your lips.

“It’s alright,” you murmured, taking his hands in yours. He fought the urge to pull away. “You can touch me. I want you to touch me.”

He wanted to. More than anything. He wished he could.

“I shouldn’t,” he whispered.

“Why?”

How could he explain? He never told you what had happened to him. He didn’t want you to pity him or, even worse, to drive you away. Selfishly, he wanted to keep you in his life.

When he didn’t answer, your fingers slid around his wrists. Neither of you spoke as you lifted his hands to your mouth and kissed each scarred palm. Azriel’s throat worked, his heart pounding in his chest. Without a word, you placed his hands on your breasts. You let go of his wrists, giving him the freedom to pull away if he wanted to. But your eyes never left his, and that soft smile never faltered.

Azriel swallowed hard. For a moment, he just stood there, not pulling away but not moving either. Your face was open and serene, as if his scars didn’t bother you, even now that they were touching such an intimate part of your body.

Seeing you like this, so calm and accepting, so soft and warm under his palms… his thumbs moved, brushing over your nipples. You shivered, and he couldn’t stop himself from doing it again, feeling the small buds harden under his touch.

As if sensing his impending question, you nodded slightly. “You can touch me, Az.”

Though he knew it was wrong and still didn’t understand how you could want his bloodied, scarred hands on you, he gave you what you wanted—what you both wanted.

He slid one hand behind your neck, pulling you closer and kissing you again. The other remained on your breast, kneading the soft flesh, savoring every small sigh that escaped your lips. You leaned into him, your fingers tangling in his hair, deepening the kiss until Azriel’s control hung only by a thin thread.

When you pulled back, you didn’t give him time to lower his mouth to your neck. You grasped his hand, gently moving it away from your chest, and a wave of fear tightened in Azriel’s stomach. You had changed your mind. Of course you had. He should have seen it coming.

But instead of stepping away, you guided his hand down. Between your legs.

His breath caught as his fingers brushed against your panties, feeling the already damp fabric beneath his touch.

“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice almost too quiet to hear. “Are you sure?”

You were smiling again. “Yes. Please, Az.”

He didn’t know how to say no. He knew he should have, that he was unworthy of touching someone so pure and lovely. But you had already pushed the fabric aside, and he groaned as your slick arousal coated his fingertips. Before he even realized what he was doing, his fingers found your clit, drawing a soft moan from you.

The thin thread holding his control snapped at the sound, and Azriel let himself give in.

He pulled you closer, his eyes locked on yours as his fingers explored what they shouldn’t. At the first sign of hesitation or revulsion, he was ready to stop. But pleasure was the only emotion etched across your face, and he could see the desire for more burning in your eyes. Yet you were letting him set the pace, giving him time to accept your permission to touch you.

He slipped a finger between your folds, teasing your entrance before tentatively easing it inside, just a little.

Your hips bucked, and your voice came out as a needy whisper. “Please…”

Azriel hesitated for only a split second before pushing his finger all the way in. You were soft and warm, and you both groaned as your walls clenched around it. He couldn’t believe you were letting him do this, but he couldn’t stop now.

As he slowly pumped it in and out, your hips began to rock against his hand to match his movements. He watched in contemplation as your eyes fluttered close and your lips parted slightly, a breathy moan slipping out when he couldn’t resist the urge to add a second finger.

“Azriel…” you murmured. “Feels so good…”

The sound of his name on your lips sent a wave of heat through his body. His wings rustled quietly behind him, and his cock throbbed in his pants. He pulled his hand away, relishing your disappointed whimper.

You hadn’t run away from him. You didn’t let his scars intimidate you, or shape your opinion of him. You weren’t bothered by his marred fingers touching you; on the contrary, you craved them inside you. So why, despite the voice in his head whispering that he wasn’t worthy of it, should he deny you something you both wanted so badly? He wanted to taste you, to make you come on his fingers, and see how much pleasure they could bring you.

“I want to do this properly,” he murmured, gently guiding you to the bed. “Will you lie down for me, sweetheart?”

Your face lit up with a smile, and you slipped out of your panties. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you spread your legs, baring yourself to his hungry gaze.

As Azriel knelt between your parted thighs, he pushed every thought about his hands out of his mind, focusing only on the beautiful girl before him and the warmth settling in his heart.

~~~~~~

Azriel jolted awake, his chest heaving. He lifted his hands in front of him, the dim light of the moon casting shadows across them.

They were fine. Scarred as always, but fine.

He took a deep breath as he lay back down. It was just a nightmare—memories coming back to haunt him in his sleep every now and then. Even after centuries.

“Az?”

He cursed silently as you stirred beside him, turning to face him. He could see your struggle to open your eyes, your voice a sleepy mumble.

“Are you okay, love?”

“Yeah,” he whispered back, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It's alright.”

It always was with you. You never complained when his nightmares disrupted your sleep. He didn't have them as often since you'd moved in together, fortunately. Sleeping next to you helped, but it wasn't a cure.

“Did you have a nightmare?” you asked quietly. With your head resting on his chest, you could probably hear the rapid thumping of his heart. He willed it to slow.

“It's fine, sweetheart,” he sighed. He pressed a kiss to your hair, and his tone was softer when he spoke again. “Go back to sleep.”

You curled up against him, and he thought you might let it go. But instead, you continued to look up at him. “You know you can talk to me if you want.”

“I know,” he murmured. You’d always been there for him when he needed it. You had been since the moment you met a year ago, and he was grateful for it every single day. He couldn't wait for your mating ceremony in two weeks and prove once more how much you meant to him.

You shifted in his arms, and then your head was on the pillow next to his, your face only inches away from his. You reached for his hand and lifted it up to your lips, kissing his palm, his fingers, his knuckles.

Azriel watched in silence, a lump in his throat. His heart still raced, and he felt the sudden urge to cry. He didn't even need to tell you what he needed, what burdened him. You always knew. Even before the bond snapped, you'd understood him effortlessly.

“Your hands are fine,” you murmured against his marred skin. “And so are you. You're fine. They can't hurt you anymore.”

Azriel closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. He buried his face in your neck, freeing his hand from your gentle grasp so that he could hold you tighter and press his body against yours. He draped his wings over you, unwilling to let go.

Your fingers stroke through his black curls. “I'm here, my love.” Your voice was soothing and soft, and Azriel felt like the helpless child he'd been five hundred years ago—needing reassurance, care, love. Maybe he would always need those things.

“You're here with me. You're safe now.”

He couldn't stop them, then. Tears slipped past his eyelids, rolling down his cheeks and dampening the skin of your neck. But your gentle caresses and soothing words never faltered.

“It's alright,” you whispered. Your warmth seeped into him, and he felt so cared for that even the last of his walls began to crumble. A broken sob tore through him.

“You're safe, my love.” You cradled his head against your neck, lips brushing his hair. “You can let it all out.”

Azriel did. You'd helped him through difficult moments before, but he had always held back because he didn't want to feel weak. He didn't want you to think he was weak. But if he’d learned anything from you, it was that crying didn't make him weak. That letting his feelings pour out through tears was better than burying them deep down for centuries.

So, he let them rise to the surface. The pain, the anger, the grief for the childhood he’d never had, the bitterness and frustration.

He had never cried about it before, but as he did, he could see it, for the first time in his life—a small light, a way out of the endless cycle of self-pity and hate he'd fallen into.

Maybe his mother had been right all those years ago. He was still healing, even after five centuries. He didn't know how much longer it would take, but maybe he’d reach a point when the nightmares stopped, his hands didn't hurt, and he could accept his scars. And maybe, one day, he wouldn't need his mother or his mate to remind him that his hands weren't ugly.

Azriel had no idea for how long you let him cry and sob in your arms. He had so many pent-up emotions, so much he still couldn't express, words he couldn't voice. But it was a start. And as exhaustion dragged him back to sleep, the weight on his chest, on his heart and soul, felt a little lighter.

Yet you still held him close, stroking his black curls long after he fell asleep.

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Azriel Week: @fourthwing4ever

#azrielappreciationweek2024 #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel appreciation week #azriel fic #acotar #acotar x reader #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #sarah j maas #angst #fluff #fanfiction

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 days ago

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Death Wish 10

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Bucky Barnes

Part of the mob drabbles au

Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Photo Inspo

“Come on, doll,” Barnes takes your hand and leads you across the room. You follow as you will for the rest of your life; obediently.

His grip is like a vice as he guides you through the hall and down the stairs. Silence meets you at the bottom as your sisters no doubt hear the descent. Yet he doesn’t let you go nor make a move to leave. Instead, he brings you into the front room.

He squeezes your hand, pressing the large ring into your finger, and releases you. He steps forward as Kitty turns away from the window and Adrienne stands from the sofa. He commands any room he enters and you don’t think you’ll ever be used to that.

“Sisters,” he declares brightly, “that is what I will call you from now on.”

He goes first to Kitty and places a kiss on her cheek, then does the same to Adrienne. Each watch him in confusion. You stare blankly.

“And you can call me brother and ask for anything and everything you need,” he says.

“Sir,” Kitty moves towards your younger sister.

“I ask discretion for the time being as I tie up a few loose ends,” Barnes explains. “And we get you all settled where you need to be.”

Your sisters blink at you then each other. You can’t say it out loud. That makes it real.

Barnes turns on his heel, “speaking of loose ends, I should go.”

He comes towards you and takes your hand again. He raises it, certain to show off the glaring diamond, and kisses it. The gesture makes your blood run cold. It is a statement. It isn’t the same as when you kiss his ring, it isn’t deference, no it is a show of ownership.

“Have a good night,” you say at last.

He pulls back and lowers your hand. He grins, “it’s already spectacular, doll.”

He lets you go and steps past you. You stand, stuck in place, as he leaves. The door opens and closes, the hinges jarring you into motion. You go to lock it behind him and Kitty calls your name.

“What’s going on?” She appears in the doorway.

You take a breath before you face her. You shrug. Adrienne scrambles around her and snatches your hand.

“Oh my god, it’s huge.”

“Stop,” you try to tug your hand back.

“You’re marrying him?” Kitty’s voice deflates by the last syllable. “Why?”

You look between them. You can tell one sliver of the truth. “To keep us safe.”

“Us? We’ll be fine. Barnes says we get an inheritance, we get houses, money--”

“And then what? It’s not enough to last forever,” you argue. “Even if we can find work, we’ll never make enough to keep that. How long did you work at the yogurt shop before daddy threatened to burn it down? And I have about a week’s experience down at the diner.”

“We can start now--”

“We can start now and never reach the finish line,” you insist. “Kitty, you know who daddy was. You sat there and watched what they did to that man today. This isn’t a life you walk away from, even if he’s dead.”

Adrienne sniffles. She’s on the edge of tears again.

“So, you do it over? Marry another one? Go through it again?” Kitty challenges.

“He can make sure that neither of you have to--”

“We don’t need you to be our martyr,” Kitty argues.

“I’m not--” you seal your lips and sigh. You wish you could tell her. You wish you could say I shot that fuck and he deserved it because you know she would have loved to do the same thing. Yet, saying it out loud means admitting that you’re all trapped for that moment of vengeance. “Kitty, how much choice do you think he gave me?”

She stares at you. She knows exactly how it works. There is no asking with these men.

“We could all go. Disappear.”

“And they wouldn’t find us? How far could we get, really?”

“Not far,” Adrienne pipes in. “Kitty, would you rather daddy still be here?”

Your older sister is silent as her jaw squares.

“I could marry instead. Maybe not Barnes but someone else. It shouldn’t be you. I’m the oldest--”

“It is me,” you say, “and it could be any one of us but this is how it is. It’s... not the worst.”

“It’s not?” Kitty says. “That man stood and ordered another beaten to death. He didn’t flinch.”

“I know,” you say.

“No, you don’t know,” Kitty insists, “you can’t be sure that he isn’t like daddy.”

She’s right. Barnes might have helped vanquish the monster but it can’t erase his own misdeeds. Yet, you asked for all of this. You went there in the middle of the night and sold your soul. You could excuse yourself with naivete, but you deserve more to be branded by it.

“If it keeps you two from men like daddy--”

“Stop,” Kitty grabs you by the shoulders. “None of us deserve it.”

“You stop,” you wrap your fingers calmly around her forearms and peel her hold off of you. “Should I go hand that man his ring back or do you want do it for me?”

She untangles her wrists from your grasp and recoils. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes up against the threat of tears. She stamps her foot in frustration.

“You tell me,” she points her finger at you. You’re almost stunned by the fire in her voice and face. Kitty is the sweet one, she’s gentle, but she has your mother’s quiet strength. “You tell me if he ever puts a bruise on you. You fucking tell me.”

“Kitty,” you murmur.

Adrienne covers her mouth and watches, swept up in the fraught emotion of it all.

“No, because I spent a lifetime watching you two cry over that beast we called a father,” she snarls. “I will not waste the rest of my life doing the same. I thought—I thought we were free. I wanted us to be free.” She curls her lip and exhales heavily. “So, you will not lie to me again. And I will know. I will see right through him so you don’t even try to cover it up. One bruise...” she wags her finger then throw up both her hands with a frustrated growl. “I sound like him.” She turns and drags her feet to the stairs. She sits on one and hangs her head. “I sound like daddy. I’m just so... tired.”

You look at Adrienne and reach for her. She gives you her hand. You bring her over to Kitty and touch your elder sister’s shoulder. She looks up through sparkling eyes.

“You will know. We will all know. We are sisters and this doesn’t change that,” you say. “We stick together, no matter what.”

“Oh, we will,” Kitty insists, “I will be at your damn house every day and I will look at that man and I will see all the cracks. Trust me you. He will not take you from us.”

“Kitty, Ade,” you look from one to the other, “no one can take us from each other. If daddy did one thing, it was making sure of that.”

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #series #drabble #mob au #au #death wish #mcu #marvel #captain america #avengers #winter soldier

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sackfoo · 3 days ago

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If Kamala had won, she wouldn't have helped Palestine out at all but if she had won, we could have still fought tirelessly to try and help Palestine as best we could. With Trump in office, he will more than likely go out of his way to make sure that Palestine is a wasteland with no survivors, and may even go as far as to punish any American caught trying to help Palestine out in any way cause he/his followers are just petty like that. I fully understood the stance that Kamala's stance on Palestine is unacceptable but anyone who is was going to vote for trump was going to show up and vote for him no matter what. Voting for anyone other than Kamala was just going to split non-republican votes more, and of course, not voting at all simply was not an option, not voting for Kamala was basically giving Trump more of a chance to win. Kamala rightfully deserves the criticism she got for this all but again, with her we could have at least kept fighting tooth and nail to ensure that Palestinians would one say be free, it would have been at least sort of manageable. I'd love for there to be a better candidate that we all just banded together and voted for and THEY whipped the country back into shape, abolished all fascism and did everything in their efforts to help Palestine survive, but the unfortunate thing about politics is that while there is the illusion between more options, there only REAL options that have any chance are the people who don't really do that much to fix things, they just keep the status quo upheld because it hasn't caused the complete downfall of humanity yet, and the people who are just straight up fascist super villains who actively try to make the status quo more hostile towards you and the rest of the world and turn the entire country into an unlivable hell hole for profit, at least now that's the case, and the people who support the "Status quo but hell hole" party are always going to vote for them no matter what, because the hell hole seems to be what they want for some god-forsaken reason, and will go as far as to just straight up cheat and rig the whole thing because they are desperate for that hell hole already, so ensuring that the OTHER party wins, while not ideal, is the best we're gonna be able to do for the time being it seems, and we're just gonna have to fight for our lives and look out for each other in the mean time, as well as help anyone who needs it if we can. Anyways, i'm sorry to every Palestinian. I hope that by some miracle, and with whatever help we can offer in the coming years, you're able to somehow hold on and come back from this awful hell you've been put through.

I'm sure many people have already shared this here, but I think it's important that people here on Tumblr need to see this.

"I disagree with Kamala's position on the war in Gaza. How can I vote for her?" by US Senator Bernie Sanders

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http-shield · 2 days ago

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Bucky is high-key appalled by the lack of chivalry and politeness exhibited by the men of the twenty first century. Can't fathom that men ignore women on the train or bus who need seats, that doors aren't being opened for women, seats aren't being pulled out, space isn't made for women as they pass packs of men on the sidewalk. There are many things in this new age world that Bucky can't wrap his head around, but the disregard for women is something he'll never understand, so he opens doors for ladies if they are both going in the same building, vacates seats when there is a woman around in need of space. He can't help it, having grown up in a world entirely different to the one he is now. It is second nature and comes as quickly as breathing, but it stuns you a little the first time you get treated like that. You swoon at the fact Bucky holds the door for you, lets you pass before him, makes sure you walk on the safer side of the pavement, holds your hand when you cross the road, makes sure you get the food and drinks first, offers to drive and pay for date nights, the list is endless. Still, for once in your adult dating life, you don't question the sincerity of his words as they are backed up by actions.

"Did something happen to men while I was gone?" Bucky's confused voice floats down the hall of your apartment as he strides in, kicking his shoes off and placing them neatly on the rack by the bathroom door.

"What do you mean?" You look up from your spot on the couch, laptop sitting on your raised legs. "Like, did they go extinct and come back?"

Bucky reaches the living room and shucks off his jacket and gloves to hang over the chair before coming to the couch and plopping beside you. A soft kiss is pressed to your cheek, stubble grazing your skin as he mumbles a greeting before settling into the plush sofa.

"I mean, did they lose all manners?" he shakes his head in disbelief, hands splaying out in frustrated emphasis. "Do men not open doors for women? Or move out of the way for them on the side walk?"

You close the laptop and stow it away on the small shelf of the coffee table, no longer focusing on the information packets Tony had sent you early this morning.

"What happened?" You ask, reaching up to card your fingers through his hair, enjoying how he melts into your touch.

"I just watched a bucnh'a men in suits practically push a woman out of the way to get through the door." he sighs, clearly exasperated at the lack of respect for other humans. "And then they didn't even hold the door for her! They just let it swing closed. How do they act on dates? I doubt they pay."

You hum, letting his rant continue.

"And I was on the line."

"Online." you correct gently, spiking his hair up with your fingers, the shorter strands finally obeying you.

"I was online," he rectifies. "and I saw this video of a woman talking about a man getting angry that she wasn't gonna go home with him after the first date."

"Please tell me that never happened to you." His attention shifts to you now, genuine distress simmering in his blue eyes, and when you don't answer, he becomes distraught.

"Doll, no," Bucky shakes his head as if you confessed to the murder of his beloved stuffed animal. "Come on, you gotta be joking."

"It was years ago! I was young and stupid and didn't know my worth." You shrug, obviously not as upset as your counterpart. “I've learnt my lesson. I know I am worth at least two dinners now." The joke falls flat as Bucky stares, not amused.

"It's a joke, Buck."

"I know, but I don't like it." He grumbles, folding his arms across his chest like a child. "Don't like that you were treated like that."

"Well, good thing I've got you now, huh?" you abandon his hair, stroking the back of your fingers over his stubbly cheek.

Bucky pouts. "Still don't like it. You deserved better."

You kiss his cheek, feeling his cheeks round as he smiles. "You're too good to me, Mr. Barnes." another kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Even if we did sleep together on the first date."

"Hey! That wasn't the same. We knew each other before that." Bucky protests as you stand from the couch, walking to the kitchen to start on dinner. "At least I paid!"

#http shield ♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ #✮⋆˙ bucky barnes #draft dump #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky fanfic

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yagirlwrites · 3 days ago

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Angels & Demons | (Sub!Rafe)

Pairing: sub!Rafe Cameron x domme!Reader

Synopsis: Rafe asks reader to a Halloween bash, proposing they wear matching costumes. They have a conversation on where they stand. Lots of fun at the biggest party of the year.

Warnings: fluff, clingy!rafe, pouty!rafe, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 8.4k (I'm so so sorry I need psychiatric help)

A/N: Hi y'all! It's finally here, ignore the fact that its 10 days late - Happy Halloween🤣 This is really long and fluffy, some steamy scenes as well because it wouldn't be me without them 😘 The smut for the day after the party will be posted soon! Had to separate it because it would have been too damn long to read and y'all deserved to have this as soon as possible. Hope it's not too long anyway 😭 I am sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy it! As always lmk what you think!

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My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated. Reblogs, comments, feedback are always welcome and appreciated❤️

Happy reading 🥰

Angels & Demons

"I need you to sit still, baby." His heart soared, as it always did, when she called him that. He was currently sitting at her vanity while she patiently applied glitter to his face.

He felt restless, she was so close and she smelled so nice and she was touching him so gently. Looking at her, so beautiful, right in front of him was driving him insane. It was his own fault for being in this situation, getting ready for a party he suggested they attend. So he really had no right to be acting bratty. He just really wanted to kiss her and she was keeping him hostage in the small chair. The generous view of her cleavage bent over like this, courtesy of her costume, might also have something to do with his fading sanity.

It was a week ago when he suggested they go to the Halloween bash together. It was the biggest party of the year so far, spanning the entire greek street. It was always wild and intense, but he wasn't interested in that this year. He just wanted to spend time with her and his friends, and have a good time. This would technically be their coming out party and he was ecstatic when she said yes to coming. Even more so when he suggested they match their costumes, trying to play it off as no big deal, but in actuality extremely aware of the implications.

"Like, a couple's costume?" It came out of the blue. They had been cuddled up on her couch when he brought up the topic the party and asked if she wanted to come with him. Then he started acting all shy and flustered broaching the topic of outfits.

"Yeah. I don't know if you maybe wanted to match. Might be cool, I don't know." He was blushing in that way that made her heart melt like a popsicle on a hot summer day. He didn't even give her a chance to respond as he continued.

"Unless you don't want to or think it would be weird, it's totally fine we don't have to. It was just a thought..." he trailed off, not meeting her eyes, flustered and insecure. Her heart ached.

"Hey..." her soft palm met his cheek and forced him to look back at her.

"Why would it be weird?" Her gaze was warm and he was blushing even harder now. His thoughts felt scrambled, all the practicing he had done in his head vanishing into thin air when he was so close to her.

"I don't know. Maybe you don't see us..." he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders, not able to finish his thought.

"As a couple?" She offered, trying to help but driving him further up the wall instead. He just shrugged, keeping his eyes trained on the coffee table, feeling weak. She pushed him further onto the couch, straddling his lap in order to force him to look at her. His heart felt like it might burst out of his chest.

She said nothing, simply waited for him to speak up. Needing him to talk to her, instead of shutting down. They'd talked about this habit of his, she promised she'd never judge him and he promised he'd try his best to be as open with her as he could. So he had no choice then, not when she was looking at him like that. Not after he made her a promise.

"We never talked about it. So you might not." His eyes were running wildly all over her face, trying to be respectful and not look away but not brave enough to see the possible rejection in her gaze.

"Do you want us to?" He sighed, the feeling of her playing with his hair making him lose the last bit of dignity he had. He was so desperate for her he couldn't cope.

"Maybe..." she shook her head then. She hated that word, wished he would stop using it and just say what he really wants. But she knew it was hard for him so she didn't push it.

"Do you want us to be a couple, Rafe?" His eyes finally met hers, hearing the vulnerability in her voice. When they did, he saw no judgement, no rejection, just kindness. And he didn't have it in him to pretend anymore.

"I do." The beat it took for her to react felt like an eternity, his breath stuck in his throat.

"Good." She smiled, caressing his face so gently he thought he'd cry. She kissed his red cheek and whispered a soft "me too."

His heart skipped at her words, a bright smile finally making it's way onto his face as he hugged her so close, leading them both to almost fall off the couch. The only thing that could be heard in her small appartment was the sound of their giggles as they processed their emotional conversation.

"Fuck, I'm so relieved." He kissed her neck where his head was burried while he held her as close as possible. Her hands running though his hair in that soothing manner she knew he loved. She laughed as he peppered kisses on her skin.

"What? Did you really think I'd say no?" She pulled him back enough to look at his beautiful face. He had a sheepish smile on and his eyes sparkled with joy.

"I don't know." He shrugged in a careless manner, even though they both knew it was a front.

"Oh so you think I just let any guy sleep over and cuddle with me on the couch?" She was giving him a faux offended look and he couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't know, you might..." he grinned and she rolled her eyes.

"Bro, be serious." She pushed off of him to pick up the blanket that had fallen to the floor during their tumble.

"Bro? You can't friendzone me now!" He whined as she stood up, folding the blanket and then throwing it right in his cheeky little face. He let out a surprised yelp and she giggled as he rushed after her on her way to the kitchen. He looked like a lost puppy, incapable of not being near her, it seemed.

"So what's this costume?" He was looking at her throat as she gulped down a glass of water, completely zoned out when she asked the question.

"Huh?" He snapped his eyes back to her face but it was too late, she'd already noticed him ogling her. His ears turned a shade pinker as he tried to play it off.

"The costume you want to wear, what is it?" He looked confused.

"I don't know." He shrugged causing her to raise her eyebrow.

"You don't have a costume in mind?" He shook his head, grinning as he stepped closer to her.

"Whatever you want." She had to refrain from laughing at how cute he was, with his floppy hair and his rumpled clothes and his childlike grin.

"So now I have to come up with a couple's costume even thought it was your idea?" She played annoyed but he could see the smirk twitching at the corner of her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her and connected their foreheads, the intimate banter reducing them both to mush on the inside.

"Yep. Just want everyone to know." He nuzzled his nose into her hair as her fingers ran gently over his back.

"Know what?" He pulled back to look at her then. A rare moment of bravery.

"That I'm yours." Her breath caught in her throat at the way he said it. So sure, so honest, so utterly unashamed. It made butterflies appear in her stomach and she wanted to curse at how much she loved hearing those words come out of his mouth.

"That you're mine?" She kissed his face gently and his smile could not be bigger.

"Mhm. All yours." she blushed from the raw honesty in his words and he noticed. But before he could call her out on it she kissed him, making him forget whatever thought he might have had of teasing her.

It was heaven, whenever their lips met. They felt like they became one and it was so insane to think about that they refused to, simply letting themselves get lost in the pleasure of being with each other.

And now here they were, in her bedroom, putting the finishing touches on the costumes. He admired how stunning she looked, so focused and unguarded. He swore he had never seen a person more beautiful in his life. He couldn't stop a smirk from making its way onto his face as he took in her outfit. The tight leather bustier made her boobs look insane, the short black skirt leaving just enough to the imagination, and the skull shaped lace of her thights hugged her thighs so well he wanted to bite into them.

"One last thing" she positioned the accessory on his head and smiled at the result.

"Perfect." He blushed at the compliment, turning around to face the mirror and finally see her hadiwork.

He looked flushed and soft, the sparkles on his face matching the ones on the halo atop of his head. He was dressed in all white, a button down over a white t-shirt, white pants she made him buy the other day, and white converse on his feet. The silver against the white made him look almost ethereal. He was a literal angel before her eyes and she could not be happier with how it all turned out.

She grabbed her own headpiece, a pair of black horns and completed their couples costume. An angel and a demon. Not the most unique of ideas, however the roles were usually reversed. He told her that when she came up with the concept and all she said was "You're my good boy now, right? You're gonna be my angel." After that he shut up and the flush didn't leave his cheeks for a long time.

He didn't know if she fully understood just how much she affected him when she said stuff like that. Messed with his mind, his heart, twisting him up inside until he feels like falling at her feet. Or maybe she knew exactly how bad he had it for her, and she enjoyed it.

She was taking her sweet time taking him in, critical eye paying attention to every detail waiting to find something she might have missed. Even though it wasn't her idea and she'd never done matching costumes with anyone before, she was feeling super excited at the prospect of the entire campus knowing he was hers. She wasn't a jealous person, but she knew there were girls vying for his attention and now he was making it clear he had no interest in anyone but her. It made her heart feel so full that she had to force herself to stay cool. He did that. He'd come and sweep the rug out from under her in the best ways. One minute she's chill and the next he hits her with this genuine unabashed affection and she's left confused as to how to cope. She wouldn't complain though, it was the best kind of surprise every time it happened.

To think not long ago she had thought he could never be with someone like her, that they weren't compatible. It was laughable now. Every move they made felt perfectly synced, like it was always meant to be the two of them together. And whenever her insecurities would try and weasel into her mind he'd smile at her in that way he did and she'd feel peace again. She knew he still had his demons but since they agreed to be open with each other he seemed more calm, less on edge, like that peace she felt was mirrored in him too. She couldn't quite believe how happy she was.

He was looking at her with those bedroom eyes again and she had to refrain from letting her mind run wild, as his no doubt was. They spent hours getting ready and they had a party to go to.

This would be the first time they arrived together at a party, and while she wasn't particularly bothered about what other people thought, she knew he cared and wanted to show the world they were together now. For real. She understood, they had spent so much time making up for all the months wasted, in their little bubble and while it was amazing and they wouldn't trade it for anything - they did need to step back into the real world. Meet each other's people, be part of each others lives in public too.

He was really excited at the prospect and it warmed her heart to see him so positively nervous about something. Something other than sex, that is. She needed to stop thinking about sex and focus. Party. They're going to a party. She grabbed her purse and took his hand leading them out the door and into the night.

................

Walking into his frat, hand in hand, it felt like the entire house was staring at them. In reality most people didn't pay them a second glance, but it felt like a momentous occasion to him. He had a big, proud smile on his face as he led her through the massive crowd to the kitchen where he knew his friends would most likely be congregated. As they walked in they were met with loud whoops sounding over the music.

"Mistery Girl! You made it!" It was Mac, Rafe's best friend. They'd met several times, and even though he now knew her name, he still clung to the nickname - to Rafe's great annoyance. As expected, Rafe rolled his eyes at his friend. She smiled and greeted his group, some of whom she'd briefly met before, some faces definitely unfamiliar leading Rafe to introduce her.

Rafe went to make her a drink, knowing she prefers a cocktail to a beer. He managed to locate some fruity syrup and decided to mix her a drink himself. He didn't trust any of the already made punches floating around. She deserved the best. Since best wasn't an option, at least better than the terribly tasting jungle juice Mac always made.

Aaron, one of his frat brothers, whom he didn't really care for, decided to stand too close to her for his liking. Rafe was looking at him while making sure not to spill any of the alcohol he was pouring. He didn't like him crowding her and he wanted to get back there to prevent any unfortunate scene that might unfold.

"So you're the devil, huh?" She gave the random man next to her an unimpressed look, taking a step to the side to create space between them. She didn't want to deal with annoying creeps, but she needed to keep her promise and not do anything to offend his friends.

"Just a lowly demon, I'm afraid." She replied to his question, trying to stay polite.

"Ah, I don't see nothing lowly about you, sweetheart." His gaze flashed to her cleavage and her blood started boiling when he leaned into her space again. He was clearly already drunk but her patience was wearing thin.

"Here you go, babe." His voice snapped her out of her reverie, bringing with him a calm she had missed in the past few minutes they were apart. She took the cup from him, relaxing into his chest as he made himself at home at her back, wrapping one arm around her. His eyes were shooting daggers at Aaron, and she had to refrain from smirking, finding his protectiveness endearing.

"This is pretty good, sweet boy." She looked up at him after tasting his conconction and he broke eye contact with Aaron to look back at her, a smile shining on his face at the compliment. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks at the pet name. He had yet to get used to how he felt every time she called him something so sweet and loving. This was the first time she had called him a nickname in public, not thinking anything of it until the pest next to them decided to speak up.

"N'aww ain't that just adorable?" The smile wiped off Rafe's face in record time as he shot daggers at Aaron for the interruption. Jade was getting more and more annoyed by this random guy and she knew Rafe was as well, so she wished to remove them both from his presence. Before she could though, he had to speak again.

"When did you become such a pussy, Cameron?" Rafe rolled his eyes, tired of his bullshit and ready to leave the kitchen but he felt her stiffen in his arms.

"You watch your mouth." Her voice was low and cold, but everyone in the kitchen could hear it nontheless.

"It's okay-" before he got a chance to reassure her that this dickhead's words meant nothing to him, he was interrupted.

"Woah there little lady. You're feisty. She speaks for you now, too? What happened to you, bro?" He was giggling to himself, but none of his other friends seemed amused. She was starting to realize no one liked him, but for the life of her couldn't understand why they tolerated such a piece of shit.

"Listen here, you little cockroach-" she took a step towards him but Rafe snapped into action, wrapping his arm tighter against her and pulling her backwards.

"Rafe..." her tone held a warning, but he didn't care. He wasn't about to let Aaron of all people, ruin their night before it even started.

"Baby, he's not worth it. Everyone knows he's just desperate for attention, since no one's giving him any." His first words whispered to her, but the latter said loud enough for everyone to hear. Aaron flushed red in anger and Mac saw it as his queue to jump in.

"Alright, we get it. You're jealous Rafe has a girl now. My condolences man but we gotta move on, yeah?" The crowd laughed at Mac's jokes making Aaron even more furious, but the friendly arm Mac slung around his shoulder and the beer he handed him managed to distract the drunken douche enough for Rafe to drag her out of the kitchen.

"You should've let me knock him out." Her teeth were clenched and he tried to prevent a smile from breaking out but she looked so adorable, all mad and protective, ready to fight for his honor. He chuckled at the thought and her eyes snapped to him, taking in his face, thinking he's laughing at her.

"Hey. I could take him!" She was offended.

"Oh trust me, I know. I remember just how lethal that right hook can be." His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and she realized he was only teasing her.

"He deserved it." She spoke, no longer upset, feeling her anger leave her body as he swayed them both on the dance floor.

"I know." He was smirking, giving her that annoying yet adorable look, driving her crazy.

"Why do you let him talk to you like that?" He sighed, pulling her into his chest, laying his head on top of hers as they danced.

"I don't care enough about his opinion to let him ruin my night." She looked up at him then, realizing he wasn't being a pushover because of his friends, which she worried might have been the reason why he didn't fight back. He was just mature enough not to let some irrelevant twat get under his skin. She smiled at that, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

"That's very grown up of you." She teased and he laughed, glad she was back to normal.

"And you ready to fight him for a stupid comment, is definitely not." She rolled her eyes, a slight blush tinging her cheeks.

He was right, she had promised herself to stay cool but one mean comment aimed at him destroyed her composure. She felt such an intense need to protect him, it was quite confusing and scary. She would have laid that fucker out right there in the kitchen. How embarrassing.

"Hey, I'm not complaining. It was very hot, how protective you got." He was smirking again, the cocky little shit. She rolled her eyes again and pulled him into a kiss, just to shut him up and distract him from her somewhat childish behavior. He moaned into the kiss when her tongue entered his mouth and she smiled when she felt him shiver under her fingertips. He was so easy.

When she broke the kiss he was dazed, chasing her lips to prolong the moment but she simply gave him a sweet peck and pulled away. The pout on his face was adorable, resembling a little kid told he can't have his favorite candy for dinner. She admired the flush of redness on his skin from the brief shared moment and a longing stirred in her belly, resembling the one very clearly written on his face. They both wanted more but this was not the time or the place, so she went back to slowly swaying with him in a soft embrace. He melted into her, as he always did.

The kiss made him crave more but she was making it clear it wasn't going to happen. Not yet, at least. He enjoyed the way she held him though, so warm and soft and protected. It always messed with his emotions but he wasn't ashamed of how much he enjoyed it. Not even a little.

It wasn't long before their peaceful moment got interrupted. Mac nearly knocked them both down in excitement as he announced body shots taking place on the formerly used beer pong table. This was exactly the kind of chaos she'd come to expect from a frat party. Rafe's eyes glistened with mischief and she knew what he was going to say before he even spoke.

"What do you say? Wanna do body shots?" He had a playful smirk on his face, fully expecting her to roll her eyes and reject him.

"Sure." She nearly laughed at how quickly the smirk disappeared, replaced with a confusion which then gave way to cautious excitement. She smiled and took his hand, following where Mac had gone, presumably in the direction of the shots.

Rafe was buzzing with excitement as they made their way to the basement where the den was. That's where they usually used the old ping pong table for beer pong. A crowd was gathered around the table, whooping as a guy finished licking salt off a girl's neck. He couldn't believe she agreed to this. Holy shit.

They made their way to the table, waiting for another couple to finish, being next in line. Rafe could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body in anticipation. Then she turned to him and smirked and he thought he'd pass out right then and there. She was the sexiest woman alive, he'd swear it. He couldn't believe he got to call her his girlfriend.

"Shirt off." The command in her voice shook him to his core, too reminiscent of how she talked to him in the privacy of her bedroom. His pulse quickened in excitement. And then he processed her words and realized what she was saying.

"Lay down." Her eyes held a spark in them that always knocked his breath out of his lungs. Of course. Of course she would do this. He didn't know why he was expecting anything else. He followed her orders, like he always did. He had never been the one on the receiving end of body shots and he'd be lying if he said it wasn't turning him on.

The crowd went wild as he undressed and positioned himself on the table. She drank him in, all flushed, a sheen of sweat marking his body from the dancing. He looked delicious and she could feel arousal pool in her belly. It was messy, being like this in front of all these people. She knew, but in that moment she didn't have it in her to care. He was laying there, waiting for her and she wasn't going to deny either of them the high about to happen.

She moved into action, pouring salt on his collar bone and continuing a line down his chest, making Mac whoop out a "hell yeah!". She was solely focused on Rafe, though. He was getting more and more red as the seconds passed and he could feel the lust running through him. She was driving him insane. She put a lime wedge in his mouth and gave him a cheeky wink to which he silently groaned. A fucking tease.

With one last look into his wild eyes, she downed a shot of tequila and finally bent down to make contact with his skin. She licked a long strip from his belly button, over his chest, to his collar bones where she cleaned all the salt off his sticky skin. He shivered as her mouth moved to his neck, giving a cheeky bite to his sweet spot. His eyes rolled to the back of his head in response. She was evil for that.

Finally her eyes met his again as she leaned in to take the lime wedge from him, biting into it, letting the sour juice soak her tongue and complete her shot. The crowd cheered loudly and she quickly discarded the lime wedge to the side as she pulled him in and kissed him, deep and hot and messy.

Both of them were completely lost in the moment, the tension coming to a head as their tongues met and he tasted the liquior and lime on her. He moaned into the kiss, not caring about if anyone heard, solely focused on her. The kiss didn't last long but it awakened something in both of them. She managed to force herself back, to not give these strangers any more of a show than she already had, and pulled him up by his hand.

He struggled to find his feet, feeling completely fucking dazed from that kiss and that body shot and her touch and fuck she was ruining him.

As soon as they moved away from the table, the crowd's attention was taken by the next couple and they had a chance to take a breath. He was red all over, his shirt crumpled in his hand, his other hand in hers. She looked flushed as well, probably for the same reason he was. That was insane.

She kissed him again, finally out of the spotlight. This kiss was slower, but still as deep. He could feel his pants constricting him as he realized he was fully hard for her. She didn't miss it either, as she felt his length pressing against her abdomen. He groaned at the pressure and she pulled back to look at him.

He was embarassed so he lead her away from the basement, making sure to stay hidden behind her, not wanting anyone to witness his predicament. When they made it back to the ground floor he wasted no time in grabbing her hand and rushing up the stairs, her bemused laughter accompanying the movement.

"Where are you going?" She asked, trying to keep up with the speed at which he was practically running.

"My room." He spoke as if it was obvious as he pulled her in the direction of the room they'd both spent several nights tangled up together.

"Rafe, we're not having sex right now." She didn't want to be that couple, the one hooking up in the middle of a party after doing body shots. It felt like a cliche.

"No, I just need..." he trailed off as he unlocked his room, pulling her in as he turned the light on.

"Just need a moment." He looked down at his crotch with a blush and she smiled in understanding. He needs some privacy to calm down.

"Okay, baby." She kissed his cheek in reassurance and made her way to his desk chair, making herself comfortable.

He awkwardly stood there, not sure what to do now. Just having her in his room again was not helping with his problem. The thought of having to go take care of himself in the bathroom depressed him though. So he begrudgingly sat down on his bed and looked at her, confused.

She wanted to laugh at his expression, like he had no clue what to do with himself. His very obvious erection was not helping her calm down from what happened earlier. In fact, the fire in her was getting worse as she looked at him so vulnerable in front of her. Still shirtless, his chest moving with heavy breaths. It was driving her insane.

"Can I..." he didn't finish his thought, almost cursing at even saying anything. His voice had been so quiet she almost didn't hear him.

"What?" She drew the chair closer, to hear him better, making him take in a deep breath to try and get a hold of himself.

"Nothing. Forget it." He shook his head and refused to meer her eyes. That was unacceptable.

"Rafe." Her voice left no room for argument, she wanted him to tell her the truth.

"I was just... I wanted to..." he trailed off again feeling agitated that he couldn't just be confident in expressing himself the way he wished he could. He knew it frustrated her too and it made him feel worse.

"Wanted what, baby?" She moved to sit down next to him, her proximity only causing more frustration to bubble inside him.

"I want to taste you." He finally managed to verbalize his thoughts, meeting her eyes with apprehension.

"Oh..." she wasn't expecting that.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head at his apology.

"No, don't be. It's okay." She held his face in her hands then, observing him.

"Why are you so afraid, hm?" He gulped at her question, uncomfortable at her ability to see right through him all the time.

"I don't know, I just.. I don't wanna dissappoint you." She sighed and pulled him closer, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He exhaled in relief, she wasn't judging him.

"You would never dissappoint me by telling me what you want or how you feel, Rafe. I told you this." Her eyes were so kind it threw him.

"I know, I know. I just... I don't wanna screw this up." He looked embarrassed again and she hated it.

"You could never screw anything up by being honest. The opposite, actually." He nodded, feeling calmer as her fingers played with his hair.

"I'm sorry I'm so messed up." He let out a slight chuckle and she responded with a kind smile.

"You don't ever have to apologize for being human. Not to me. Not to anyone." She was looking at him with such conviction he couldn't help but nod. He wanted to believe her so badly.

"Is this something you've been wanting for a while?" He flushed again, remembeing his words form earlier, shyly nodding.

"Why didn't you say anything? Hm?" She placed her forehead against his, offering comfort and a grounding touch which was exactly what he needed.

"Dunno. Didn't want to overstep." He was finally being honest with her.

"By expressing your desires? To your girlfriend?" She was looking at him with slight amusement, and he blushed even more. She was right, it was silly

"When you say it like that it sounds dumb." He chuckled and she smiled at the sound. She kissed him again, a sweet kiss that helped ease his embarassment.

"I know I'm supposed to talk to you. I just didn't know how to bring this up without... I don't know... offending you." She nearly laughed at that.

"Offending me?" He shrugged.

"I don't know if it's allowed to ask for that." He blushed again, the teasing note in his voice not missed by her.

"You can ask for whatever you want, baby. I might not agree with everything, but you can always ask." She was serious now, wanting him to understand she meant it.

"Alright... So can I? Taste you?" He was holding his breath now, anticipating her answer. Truth be told he had been craving it for months - to please her like that. He enjoyed giving head before but he felt like he would explode with need over doing it for her.

"Not right now." She smiled.

"But I can... some other time?" He was desperate for her to say yes, to know he has a chance to fulfill this need, to please her like she deserves.

"Maybe." She was driving him crazy now.

"Maybe?" His tone was exasperated causing her to smile.

"Yes. Maybe." She pulled back so she could maintain eye contact.

"Eating my pussy is a privilege to be earned, Rafe. Not just something you can expect." He gulped as she spoke, driving him more and more insane with each word passing her lips. He wanted to scream with how hot she was, how sexy he found her confidence and how much he hated and loved her dominant personality all at once. He felt ready to beg. It was pathetic, really.

"How do I earn it?" His question made her stifle a chuckle, the eagerness in his tone endearing.

"By being a really, really good boy." She whispered the last part, his eyes glazing over, caught in a trance. She was so evil for playing with him when he's so messed up over her already.

"I'll do anything. I'll be so good." He would have been embarassed at how pathetic he sounded but he didn't have it in him to care, his arousal overwhelming him.

"You will, huh?" He nodded so fast she had to hold back from laughing. She couldn't believe he was begging to eat her out right now. This was not what she expected out of tonight.

"Yes. I'll be soo good for you. Please..." He was so far gone now, the whine in his voice causing her panties to dampen. Damn him. Damn him for how hot he looked, begging for her.

"You're gonna be good for me?" He was nodding along, clearly too far gone at this point to form words.

"Okay. I need you to calm down so we can go back downstairs." His brows furrowed as her words registered.

"What?" He asked, trying to clear the lustful haze from his brain.

"We came to a party, remember?" He was nodding along.

"So we're going back downstairs and you're going to enjoy yourself at the party you wanted us to come to. Yeah?" He finally started realizing she wasn't going to give him what he so desperately wants. She was mean for teasing him like that. He pouted again, giving her that kicked puppy look, but she stood her ground. He sighed loudly, feeling grumpy now.

"You're cruel." He mumbled as he got up and made his way to the door.

"What was that?" She heard him the first time but wanted to see if he'd have the balls to repeat it.

"Nothing. I'm going to the bathroom." He shuffled out of the room with his head down.

She felt a little guilty for rejecting him like that but she meant what she said. She didn't get all dressed up and come to this party just to end their night so soon. She knew this had been important to him and she didn't want his lust to distract him from what he really wanted to do tonight. Which is spend time with his friends and her, not to go back to their bubble the second they got horny. No. Tonight was a test for both of them, to practice some freaking self control. She had to be the strong one, cause he clearly couldn't be. Not when it came to this. But he made it really, really difficult to keep her head straight. Trouble personified.

Once he returned from the bathroom he seemed more calm, more in control of himself. He had splashed his face with water and spent an annoying amount of time sitting on the closed toilet seat, forcing himself to stop thinking dirty things and relax. It wasn't easy, with everything that happened in the basement and then his room. The teasing, the tension, it was all too much. But he understood why she rejected his advances, no matter how embarrassed he might be about it. He was the one who dragged them out to this party, making a big deal out of the night - so he had no right to be mad at her for trying to do what he had asked - experience the party with him.

So he shook his naughty thoughts off and managed to calm himself down enough to where his arousal was no longer noticable. It was the best he could do without jerking off and he really didn't want to do that.

She got up as he enterd the room, approaching him and pulling him into a hug immediately. He realized she felt bad for what happened but he wasn't upset anymore.

"It's okay. You're right. We should go back downstairs." She pulled back to look at him, to see if he was being honest with her. He smiled at her worry.

"I promise." He gave her a cheeky smirk and she accepted his answer, pressing a quick peck to his cheek and pulling him out of the room, back to the party.

He felt so lucky, holding her hand, seeing her interact with his friends, the smile on her face encouraging him to snap out of his thoughts and back to reality. He decided downing a few more shots would help him relax further, making it easier to forget how worked up he had been not 10 minutes ago.

As the night went on they hung out with his friends, drank, laughed and danced together. It was perfect. Exactly what he wished it would be like. He wanted her to like his friends and be comfortable around them and she seemed to be doing great.

They were in the kitchen again, her sitting on one of the bar chairs, chatting with one of the girls in the group. Completely smitten and unable to tear his eyes away, he just looked at her, his girlfriend - the realization making his heart feel so damn full he couldn't believe it. She was his girlfriend. How on earth did he get so fucking lucky?

She could feel his eyes boring into her for a while now, so she looked back at him finding him with a lovesick smile on his face, drunk and adorable, unashamed in his staring.

She decided to keep her drinking to a minimum, being the responsible one as always. It was in her nature. He was clearly already quite drunk but she didn't mind. She hadn't seen him drink that much during the time they've been together so she didn't feel a need to worry about it being a regular occurence. He just seemed really happy tonight and she didn't mind taking care of him once the time came. Which is something she never expected from herself at all- wanting to take care of a guy, not in terms of aftercare post sex, but in general. It made her question her sanity.

Once he realized she was looking at him the smile on his face only got bigger and he felt the intense urge to go to her, so he did. She smiled as he slightly stumbled into her, wrapping her arms protectively around him to steady him.

"Having fun?" She cheekily asked and he gave her the biggest boyish smile in return.

"Mhm, so much fun." He cuddled into her, taking her slightly by surprise. He was acting like they were the only people in the room, even though the kitchen was full of his friends. She could feel eyes on them as she played with his hair, the touch grounding, coaxing him back into reality.

"You okay, baby?" He simply nodded and nuzzled his face into her neck.

"Just happy." Her heart skipped a beat. She felt such intense affection for him in that moment it was unreal.

He wrapped his arms around her, making himself at home in between her legs, cocooning himself in her embrace. He was behaving the same way he did when they were alone, always desperate for her touch, to feel connected to her. It seemed even more intense now when they had a crowd of people looking at them.

"Feeling clingy?" She jokingly asked as the eyes of those around them burned into her skin. She didn't mind it but she was worried he might be embarrassed when he realized how he was acting in front of everyone.

"Just want you to hold me." He kissed her cheek and she could feel a slight blush forming where his lips met her skin.

She held him close, letting him soak in her touch, just as she did when they were in her apartment. She played with his hair and gave his back scratches in the same well practiced dance her fingers performed every day. She decided to break the moment by starting up a conversation with the same girl again as he cuddled into her in silence.

They stayed like that for a while and slowly but surely everyone got used to the odd sight of Rafe Cameron being clingy and soft as fuck, realizing this was normal behavior to the pair as she took it in stride.

After a while Rafe started getting antsy, she could feel him wiggling around and cocked a brow.

"What's up, angel?" Their eyes met and he pouted.

"Need to pee." He almost whined out causing her to chuckle.

"Then go pee?" She didn't understand his dilemma.

"Don't wanna." She realized what he meant, he didn't want to let go of her and leave her embrace even for a short bathroom trip. It made her almost laugh but she held back from it, seeing the serious expression on his face. He was drunker than she thought. She sighed, not believing what she was about to say.

"You want me to come with you?" She could see by the way he immediately brightened, she was right.

She couldn't believe she was so down bad that she'd baby a guy like this. But alas there she was, holding his hand and guiding him to the bathroom. She needed to maintain some dignity so she told him she'd wait outside for him to which he pouted but decided not to complain after seeing the resolution on her face. So she watched him stumble into the bathroom making a mental note to get him to drink water once they got back.

When he came out of the bathroom, he almost lost his footing nearly tripping until she caught him, steadying him. He was embarrassed at how drunk he'd gotten.

"We need to get you some water, baby." He noded his head, wrapping his arms around her again, quietly apologizing into her skin over and over and over while she shushed him and guided them back to the kitchen. As soon as they got there she was thrusting a water bottle at him.

"Drink the whole thing." Her tone left no room for argument so he drank the water obediently and she kept a watchful eye on him the whole time. As she did, she finally noticed something different in his costume. He had gotten redressed when he was in the bathroom upstairs, but something was missing.

"Where's your halo?" He stared at her confused, processing her words for a long moment until they finally set in. He hurried to check his head for the headband he was wearing at the beginning of the night only to find it gone. He set the now empty water bottle on the counter, turning around in search of the missing piece but it was nowhere to be seen.

"I lost it." He pouted, trying to think back to where he had it last but the task was impossible for his drunken mind. She softened at his sad expression, he looked like he might cry.

"It's okay, baby. It was only like 3 dollars." He shook his head, not feeling any better about it.

"But you got it for me." He looked so cute and pitiful, pouting like a kid over a piece of plastic.

"I can get you another one." She smiled as he brightened.

"Really?" She nodded, pulling him closer to fix the mess his hair.

"Really. It's not a big deal." But it was to him. It might have been a silly constume prop but he fully intended to keep it forever as a reminder of their night.

"Our costumes are ruined." He whined and she held back a laugh at his theatrics.

"I don't think anyone cares about our costumes anymore, Rafe." She was right, everyone was too drunk to care about any of that at this point.

"I do.... Now we don't look like a couple anymore." She sighed in exasperation.

"But we are a couple, baby." He smiled at that, hiding his face in her shoulder making her chuckle. He was adorable when he got all shy from her petnames. She knew he loved it when she called him baby the most.

"Wanted everyone to know..." he whined into her skin, apparently not done with the topic yet. She rolled her eyes at what she was about to do to appease him. She really is down bad for this guy.

She pulled out her red lipstick and her phone, reaplying the colour to her lips while he watched her like it was the most fascinating sight in the world.

"Here." She planted a big kiss on his cheek, leaving a print of her lips on his skin. He blushed as she showed him his face on the phone screen, feeling all giddy again.

"Happy now?" She was starting to annoy herself with her need to make him happy tonight.

"Yes. Thank you." He hugged her again, taking in the smell of her hair, feeling sated at last.

As soon as things were starting to feel somewhat peaceful again, Aaron had to make a comeback. She had no patience left in her body for anyone's bullshit and she figured it was around time to get going anyways. She looked down at Rafe, sleepily leaning on her, eyes drooping, realizing he was ready for bed.

"Time for bed, baby?" He groaned in disaproval, not wanting to end the night yet.

"Hungry." She barely managed to make out his mumbling. She hadn't seen any food around except for some chips which was not really good enough to sate a stomach as drunk as his. He needed actual food.

"How about we get you to your room and I order something? Hm?" He looked cute, thinking it over, she could practically see the wheels in his head turning with concentration.

"But we're supposed to go back to yours." The little pout was back on his lips and she realized he pouted a lot when he was drunk.

"I don't think I can carry you back to my place, baby. We can ask Mac for help up the stairs yeah?" He shook his head, the movement clearly making him temporarily dizzy and she worried he might end up falling over.

"M'not that drunk." The slur in his words contradicting his conviction. She simply rolled her eyes and located Mac who was also quite drunk but seemed still capable of helping her out.

"Mac!" The brunet immediately made his way to where the two were standing. "Help me get him upstairs?" He wasted no time nodding and grabbing his best friend under his arms to drag him to his room. Rafe protested again but after stumbling decided to keep his mouth shut and accept the help. He could still walk to an extent so Mac didn't need her help, managing to get him to his room fairly quick helping him down on his bed.

"I'm sorry." He kept apologizing, feeling bad for ruining the night. She disagreed. She'd had plenty of fun with him tonight and him being drunk was but a minor inconveniece to an overall good time. She explained this to him, kissing his cheek in reassurance.

Mac had made himself scarce quickly and she was thankful for the privacy and the quiet of the room. She ordered them both a burger and fries and played with his hair while they waited. It didn't take long for him to doze off.

Once her phone pinged, she snuck out not to wake him and made her way outside to get the food, pushing past the rest of the drunken party downstairs. When she came back his eyes were barely open, it seemed he had woken up by her absence. She smiled showing him the food and he returned it, stomach grumbling with hunger.

They finished their food quite quickly, given how hungry they were, throwing the trash in the bag to be dealt with tomorrow. She changed into his t-shirt and despite the sleepiness overcoming him, his eyes still stared at her body, unable to control himself when she was so damn beautiful. She caught him staring and chuckled at his awestruck expression. He had the same look on every time he saw her undress.

"Come on baby, lets get you changed, hm?" She helped him pull his shirt off and struggled to take off his pants but eventually managed. He had an adorable grin on his face as she made herself comfortable beside him. She reached for him and he immediately made himself at home in her arms. Sleeping with her had become one of his absolute favorite things in the world. He never sleeps better than when he's wrapped up in her arms.

"Good night." He whispered into her hair and she laid a light kiss on his temple as the exhaustion finally caught up to her.

"Good night, my angel."

.........................................

Taglist: if anyone wants to be tagged in future work let me know; @torturedtypewritersdept @kinkyrafe @mentallynot-here @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @clinelyn @magnificantmermaid @mannstarkey @harringtonstudios @totallynotkaibiased @popcrone818 @fangirlwithlou @rafesxgold @malfoytargaryen @theyluvmesblog @withbeautyandrage @sierrahhh @harrys-humble-housewife @piceous21 @ditzyballerina @xoxo3m1ly @jessmaybank @whore-4-drewstarkey @palmwinemami @dustbunniess @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @starkowswife @ietss @beansprout713 @starkeysbebe @miahxelizabeth @lalalalala33

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dashing-disaster · 2 days ago

Text

Bad Beer and Naked Rodents

Thank you @xmidhel for beta reading!

also on AO3

“You know,” Sal drawls, twisting the cap off another beer and handing it over, “for someone with an above average IQ, you’re dense as fuck.”

Tommy glares but accepts the bottle without protest. It’s his third. He takes a long sip and shudders. Bud Light. Why did Sal have to be such a fucking stereotype? But he was too tired to complain. He was too tired to do much of anything right now.

“He’s not wrong,” Lucy said to his left and Tommy directed his glare towards her instead. Like Sal, she wasn’t impressed.

“What? You know it’s true. There you are, genuinely happy for the first time in…” she pauses to think, “for the first time since I met you, actually.”

“Ever” Tommy supplies miserably, sinking further into the couch cushions. Something pokes into his right kidney and he reaches underneath himself, pulling out a small doll with messy blue hair, a pink ruffled dress and a … horn?

“Unicorn Barbie,” Sal exclaims and snags the doll from his hand. “Thanks man, you just saved this household a lot of sweat and tears. Look, babe, he found her!”

“Uncle Tommy to the rescue,” Gina says dryly, without even looking up from her laptop where she’s furiously typing some email that’s probably important and Tommy feels a pang of guilt at intruding on her peace and quiet unannounced at 9pm on a week day, Lucy in tow. He’s unable to dwell on it, however, because Lucy pipes up again.

“Let’s circle back here for a moment, your life was going great, you were happy, your hair was even starting to look good-“

“Hey!”

“Don’t interrupt me, Thomas. My point is, you got scared of commitment for three seconds and tell Evan Buckley, Evan Buckley, to go off to frolic on Grindr? I’m sorry, but do you know how stupid that is? Do you have any idea what happens to guys like Evan Buckley on Grindr?”

“Say his name like that one more time and I swear to God.” It comes out with far more venom than intended and he cringes internally. Why does he have to be such a bitch? It’s a credit to their love for him that none of his friends even bat an eye.

They’re not gentle either, and Tommy’s kind of glad about it. He doesn’t deserve gentle. Not now, maybe not ever again.

“What happens to guys like him on Grindr,” Sal asks curiously and then frowns. “And what do you know about Grindr?”

“My cousin wanted to try it out but he’s super paranoid about technology stealing his data, man’s still got a Nokia. So we set up his profile on my phone. He decided it wasn’t for him 10 minutes in but I kept the app and sometimes I go window shopping when downtime gets too long.”

“Why am I not surprised in the slightest,” Tommy mutters into his beer. Lucy is undeterred.

“Anyway, Gabe’s no hag either and similarly baby-faced as Buck so every time I open the app they’re on him in minutes. Seriously, it’s like The Walking Dead and some of the messages I get are borderline illegal. And don’t get me started on the dick pics. They’re not even nice-looking dicks most of the time.”

“Is there such a thing as a nice-looking dick? I’ve always found they all look a little like mole-rats.”

Sal, who’s been fiddling with Unicorn Barbie’s hair in a futile attempt to get out some of the knots pauses and makes a pitiful little sound staring wide-eyed at his wife who’s still neither looking up from her screen, nor is she pausing her aggressive typing, and Tommy’s both impressed and a little scared of that level of multi-tasking.

“Don’t worry, bud, Gi loves your dick. You’ve got three little monsters to prove it.”

Sal shoots Lucy a look so dirty Tommy almost laughs.

“I love the man attached to it. It’s still a mole-rat, though.” A beat of silence, then Gina looks up from her laptop for the first time in two hours, finding her husband’s eyes across the coffee table. “I love mole-rats.”

Lucy snorts, but Sal looks so pleased even Tommy has to smile.

“Still, though,” Lucy picks up the previous topic again, “are we sure it’s a good idea to throw Buck into a world of mole-rats and creepy old dudes wanting him to call them ‘daddy’?”

Tommy decidedly does not look in Sal’s direction. He loves Lucy and Gina but this is a topic one only discusses with one’s very best of friends.

“A world of disappointment, more like. Buck’s had Tommy now, anything else will just be a let-down.” The dirty grin spreading on Sal’s face tells Tommy he’s about to be in trouble. And he’s right.

“We didn’t call my boy here Nine-Inch-Nail in high school for nothin’.”

“Okay, first of all, that is such a lie,” the grin goes impossibly wider, “and second, I am not 9 inches, okay?”

Three sets of eyes wander down to his crotch and if it wasn’t these exact three people, Tommy would be so uncomfortable right now. As it is, he simply huffs and shoves a throw pillow into his lap, crossing his arms like a petulant toddler.

“I’m 8.6.”

Silence.

Then all three of them burst out laughing. He tries to hold on to his petulance, but he only lasts about ten seconds before the corners of his mouth begin to twitch and he finds himself joining in against all odds.

“As I was saying,” Sal hiccups after they’ve all calmed down again, “Buck doesn’t need any other mens’ mole-rats. He only needs Tommy’s giant mole-rat.”

Tommy groans.

“God, I hate you.”

Half past midnight Gina pulls the plug and throws them out. Sal tries to offer him the guest room, but he declines. As much as he loves his best friend’s daughters, he doubts he’ll can be Fun Uncle Tommy in the morning and he hates disappointing them.

As they wait for their Uber to pull up, Tommy feels strong fingers wrap around his wrist and a moment later he’s pulled into a tight hug.

“Don’t fuck up your life like that, Tom, not again. You were finally so happy. And I like you happy. ” Sal’s voice is quiet next to his ear, but there’s a softness to it that is usually reserved for his daughters. Tommy feels his throat close up and he buries his face into Sal’s shoulder.

“I just don’t know how not to, Sallie,” he admits and hates how forlorn it sounds.

How forlorn he feels.

“You trust him. I know it’s the most terrifying thing to do, believe me I do. But you gotta.”

Sal pulls back to catch his eyes, but keeps hold of Tommy’s shoulders.

“This man is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, Tom, and if you give up on what you have now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. But in order to keep it, you need to let him in and you need to trust him to know what he wants. It’s not your place to decide that for him.

And I know you want to let him set the pace, but you can only do that as long as you’re able to keep up. This relationship is about the both of you and if things are moving too fast, you have to tell him that. It’s not fair to either of you if you don’t.

And Tommy, you have to talk to him about your shit.”

Tommy opens his mouth to protest but Sal shuts him up with a shake of his head.

“No buts. Buck isn’t stupid. Do you really think he hasn’t clocked by now that you have trauma? I’m not saying you gotta tell him all of it at once. But you need to start somewhere.”

Sal pulls him back in roughly and presses a kiss to his temple.

“I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you. He wants to take care of your heart so badly. Let him. Let him love you. All of you.

And if it all goes to shit anyway, you know that I’ll be right here. I always will be.”

Tommy bursts into tears.

It’s 3am when he finally finds himself knocking at the same door he closed behind himself for what he thought would be the last time less than ten hours ago.

It’s telling that it takes Evan just under half a minute to open it. It’s more telling that his eyes are red-rimmed, and he’s still wearing the same clothes.

Evan’s terrible at hiding his emotions, doesn’t even try to most of the time. It’s one of the many things Tommy loves about him.

Right now, he seems to experience all of them at the same time.

Hope, when he opens the door. Relief, when his eyes fall on Tommy in the hallway.

Hurt, anger, fear, concern, fondness, and finally back to hope.

He’s silent. Waiting.

Tommy takes a breath.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

They look at each other, the insecurity and fear hanging between them like a cloud of vapor, so thick Tommy can almost taste it.

But there’s something else, too. Smaller, more fragile, and yet persistent like a moth chasing the light.

It’s the same thing Tommy’s seen in Evan’s eyes earlier.

Hope.

For a time, neither of them moves, as if they’re scared, that if they do it’ll spook and leave them alone in the dark again.

A minute passes. Two.

Somewhere in the building a baby begins to cry.

Evan steps aside.

#911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #bucktommy #bucktommy fic #bucktommy fanfic #sal deluca #lucy donato #gina deluca #this is actually terrifying i haven't posted anything i've written in like a decade #totally did not accidentally put the title in wrong at first

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scribblesandink · 2 days ago

Text

Apollo laughed, anger in his eyes

"Absolutely not. You haven't earned that"

"We haven't earned basic respect? "

"No. Normally I'd start out that way, but I spent all of yesterday afternoon and night trying to comfort my 4 year old when she cried over her favorite thing being destroyed. The fact that you can let your child behave that way and be fine with that has shown me you do not deserve my respect or civility"

"It's just a bag. How much did it cost? Here"

The boy's father pulled out his wallet and tried to hand him a bunch of money, much more than the bag was worth. Apollo just stared at it in disgust while Audrey bit back a smile and enjoyed the show

"Your child hurt my daughter. Delia has been nothing but kind to pretty much everyone, and you think this is okay? You think you can just pay me off and be done with it? "

"What more is there to do? Boys will be boys, he probably likes her"

"You teach him to learn where his presence isn't wanted and how to show affection outside of harassment and vandalism of her property. Because if he pulled this shit as an adult, he would either get beaten unconscious or arrested"

"Excuse me? "

"You're excused. I don't want your money, that's not why I'm here"

He turned to the teacher, who was cringing in he'd seat from his yelling. He didn't realize his mask had slipped and was scaring the shit out of her

"Are you going to handle this? Or am I going to teach my 4 year old how to throw a punch? "

"I... Um... No.... I'll handle it. It won't happen again, I'm so sorry"

He continued to glare around the room, making everyone cringe, until Audrey squeezed his hand and called him off. The boy's father looked shocked and extremely uncomfortable

The meeting concluded with everyone agreeing to either keep him away from Delia or to teach him that it wasn't okay. As they all walked out of the room, they saw the children in the classroom. They watched almost in slow motion as the boy pulled Delia's hair and she whipped around. They could almost hear her little fist connecting with his face. Blood squirted from his broken nose as he screamed, immediately beginning to cry as Delia's lower lip wobbled

Apollo ran into the room with everyone else right behind him as he kneeled in front of Delia, stroking her face and trying to stop her tears

"It's okay, my baby girl. Are you alright? Did he hurt you? "

"He... Pulled my hair.... "

"I know, love. I saw. You did the right thing? "

"Are you kidding?" Apollo snapped at him, holding Delia to his chest while she cried into his shoulder "That was instant karma. He fucked around and he found out"

"I could sue! "

"Do it! See how far that gets you in court"

Do you think covid existed in the Season? Do you think that for 2020-2021 Zeus couldn't host two Seasons. He had to wait until 2022 when restrictions finally lifted?

I'm gonna assume that covid didn't exist for my own sanity

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seungfl0wer · 3 days ago

Text

*𝙄𝙫𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙩 𝙔𝙤𝙪*

Pairing: Changbin x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Angst (Happy ending of course)

Warnings: Abusive father! Violence, Blood, Alcohol, Sick mother, Lots of cursing. Father is a real piece of shit and puts hands on reader multiple times. Sorry for any mistakes or missing tags.

Just for another warning because I think it’s important. This has content that could trigger some people. Please please read the warnings. If any of them make you uncomfortable please don’t read. Also a reminder. You’re not alone. No one ever should be laying their hands on you. I love you. You’re loved. You don’t ever deserve anything like this.

Find The Request Here

-🖤

Changbin wrapped his arms around you pulling you close to him. He kissed your neck tenderly nuzzling himself into your neck. You both were snuggled up on the couch watching a show. “My angel” he said softly before softly kissing your neck once more. When you were with him it felt like nothing else mattered like the world was alright. Your moment of happiness was short lived though seeing your phone buzzing. It was your father. Just seeing his name flash on your phone made you anxious.

After your mother had passed away your dad became an even bigger monster. He was always a good for nothing, But now not working as much as he did he stayed home drinking. Your mother had told you before the only reason she had stayed with him was because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Her family was from another country, she didn’t have much money or friends. She was such a brave woman though. You don’t know how she dealt with him so long but I guess him never really being home helped. He had gotten fired from his big job because of his drinking and anger problems. Going to work one day hungover and punching a coworker so hard it broke his nose. He had to pay a hefty fine for that. Now he has a slow job where he only works a few days.

One of your earliest memories of him being his asshole self was him telling you how he hated that you were a girl. He hated that in his words ‘that useless bitch couldn’t even give me a boy.’ He wanted a son so badly and he made sure you knew that. He never really bonded with you however he’d be damned if you didn’t respect his authority. The first time he ever laid hands on you, you were 9. You accidentally knocked over a table braking the lamp that was placed on it. He grabbed you by the wrist smacking you across the face. ‘You stupid fucking brat! Look what you did, you’re just like your fucking mother!’ He spat pushing you away from him.

After that day it just kept going. Having to wear long sleeves at school to hide the bruises. At one point you had to stay home for almost a week. You had stepped in front of him to protect your mom when he hit you square in the face busting your lip. It stayed swollen and bruised for a while. Tooth slightly cracked from the incident.

You wanted so badly to tell someone. Confide in a teacher anything. You were scared to though. Scared they’d blame your mom, put her in jail and take you away. So you endured it. As your mom started to get sick he turned more of his attacks on you. Although a complete peace of shit he wasn’t stupid. He knew if he did anything to her the doctors would see it.

After she had passed you kept yourself from the house as best as you could. Not going home as much as you possibly could. You got a job at a cafe down the road and that’s how you met changbin. He was a regular who once you started talking admitted to only coming so much to see you.

You kept your home life a secret to him as much as you could but one day you were getting intimate you forgot about the bruises. When he had lifted your shirt his smile dropped. He looked at you with wide eyes “what the fuck? Who did this to you?” He said clenching his jaw. All you could do was sob he held you in his arms rubbing your back. “I’m sorry for raising my voice I just- y/n please- what happened?” He asked.

Through your sobs you told him, you unloaded everything in a word vomit of sadness. He would and wanted to go find your father. To beat him senseless, to show him how it feels but he knew you needed him more. He held you so tightly, feeling his own heart breaking from your words. Knowing a family member could do this to someone they were supposed to protect. To love and cherish just broke him. He was such a family oriented person and now he realized why you never wanted him to meet him. Never talked about him. He asked why you couldn’t just leave explaining to him how your mother wasn’t from here, how you had no family and no one else to rely on.

“Shit- it’s my dad” you said frantically picking the phone up.

“Where the fuck are you? He spat.

“I’m- I’m just at a friend’s house” you stuttered.

He laughed “sure, you’re probably slutting around. Get your fucking ass home.”

He hung up leaving you shaking. “I gotta go.” You said picking your keys up.

“Y/n you don’t have to” Changbin said with pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You said before heading to the door.

Your brain wondered what was going on. Why he needed you home. As you pulled up coming through the door you saw him slumped in his usual chair. “About fucking time” he hissed. “Do something useful and go get me some more beer” he demanded.

You stood there almost dumb founded. Before he hissed again “don’t make me say it again!”

You nodded heading down to the store and getting it for him. When you got home again you sat the beer beside him. He gave you a smirk “glad you know how to listen” he chuckled. Your nose twitched at his smell, you hated being close to him. The smell of alcohol, cigarettes and B.O. always radiated off of him. He motioned for you to leave and you did slinking back to your room to text changbin.

Him: Y/n! Text me back! I’m worried!

You: I’m fine. He just wanted beer

Him: I swear I’ll end him one of these days

You: I’m gonna go to bed ok? I’ll see you in the morning! Love you!

Him: Love you to beautiful. Text me when you wake up🖤

You fell asleep shortly after always finding peace in sleep. The next few days were the same old. Going to Changbins after work going home late when you knew he’d be passed out. Today though. You had to run home for your wallet. When you walked through the door your dad was in the kitchen. You took one look around and realized something had to have happened. Things were thrown around. Smashed. Your body froze before you could go to walk back out he saw you.

“Where do you think you’re fucking going!” He yelled. He made a bee line toward you.

“I’m- I’m picking up another shift at work I just came home to grab something.” You lied.

“Bull fucking shit!” He spat.

He grabbed you by your throat lifting you up against the wall. His eyes were dark, knuckles bloody from punching the wall. “I get fucking fired from my god damn job only to come home to see you running back out? For what huh? To go fucking whore around some more?” He said. “No! There’s gonna be some fucking changes!” He screamed.

He dropped you to the floor before grabbing you by your wrist dragging you to the kitchen. “You’re gonna get another fucking job, you’re gonna start paying the other bills!” He spat. “You got it!”

When you didn’t answer right away he slapped more like punched you across the face. “Answer me bitch!” He said gritting his teeth. All you could do was nod scared for your life. You felt a warmth running down, your nose was bleeding.

“You’re fucking pathetic you know that, just like your fucking mother! That bitch. That bitch fucking deserved what she got! I’m glad she’s fucking dead!” He spat. Something had come over you at that point. You shoved back making him stumble backwards. You made a dash to the door luckily in his drunken stupor he stumbled getting back up. You ran. Not even bothering getting in your car afraid it take to long.

So you ran. You ran as fast as you could until you couldn’t anymore. You hid yourself in the bushes at the park panting. Trying to catch your breath as you fumbled to call changbin. “Hey angel” he said happily but when he heard you breathing heavy his heart sank. “Y/n what’s wrong? Are you ok?” He asked.

“I’m- I’m at the- park down- down the road- please” you stuttered out.

“Stay there I’m just down the road!” He said before grabbing his keys speeding to you.

He gripped the steering wheel afraid for what had happened. “Angel? I’m here!” He yelled out.

You peaked your head out, when he got a good look at you anger filled his body. ‘That mother fucker’ he snarled. There was no time to be angry right now though. You needed him. So desperately needed him.

He sat beside you pulling you into his arms. He took his jacket placing it around you as he whipped away the blood from your nose. He noticed the handprint mark around your neck, he gritted his teeth seething. You sobbed, holding onto him for dear life. He rubbed your back “ssh sh it’s ok angel, I’m here, I got you.” He said.

He rocked you back and forth letting your sobs subside before asking you anything. “Does it hurt?” He asked lifting your face to him looking over your nose and neck. You nodded. It hurt to swallow, hurt to breathe, everything just hurt. “Can I take you to the hospital?” He asked. You were hesitant but you nodded.

The car ride there all he could do was watch over you. Scared something could seriously be wrong. Cursing at himself for not being there. He was in the process of finding a new place. A new place so you could move in with him. The only reason you didn’t live with him now was for the fact he had other roommates and if the tenant found out about you they all could be evicted. He was gonna surprise you today with the good news, that he found a place. Close to his work and close to a bakery you had wanted to work at.

When he had gotten to the hospital they all looked at him like he had done it. They checked you over asked him a million questions. The cops being called from below to ask him questions. They weren’t completely shocked when they heard your dad’s name. He was notorious for his anger outbursts and violence. He had a list of charges that had gotten one being the man he punched at his old job. They wrote everything down, took pictures of your bruises and wounds. Asking you lots of questions before leaving.

“Y/n did you know you had a broken rib at one point?” A nurse asking you.

You shook your head.

“Looks like it happened a while ago, it fused back but not properly. You ever have sharp pains?” She asked.

“Yeah, she use to complain about side pains but they kinda just stopped.” Changbin chimed in.

“How is she right now?” Changbin asked.

“Nothings broken however you’re lucky, the pressure he had around your throat bruised your vocal cords. Any harder you could be looking at serious damage”

The nurse had left to grab some papers changbin took your hand into his. He kissed your cheek softly rubbing his thumb over yours. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there” he said softly.

You shook your head “I don’t want him hurting you either” you said looking up at him.

“I’m proud of you though, pushing back and getting yourself out of there. Your mom would be proud” he said with a small smile. His words made you smile a bit. “She definitely would.”

“I had some news to tell you” he said hoping this would make you smile.

“Yeah?” You asked.

“Yeah. I’m moving. Well we’re moving” he said with a smile. When you looked at him a bit confused his smile grew “I got a place for the two of us. Wish it could have happened sooner but-“ he said.

You wrapped your arms around him hugging him tightly “we’re gonna live together? I’ll get to spend all the time with you?” You said eagerly.

“Yep! Got the keys today!”

When the door opened you thought it was the nurse however it was an officer. “Y/n we have your father in custody. Do you have a place to stay for the mean time?” He asked looking over at your boyfriend.

“I do, but can I go back and get something’s you asked.

The officer nodded “I’ll have to escort you because it’s a crime scene now.”

You nodded.

“Whenever you get discharged we can go alright?” He said before walking out.

After you went to the house grabbing your clothes, laptop and a few things you smiled saying good riddance to this place. You had the few things from your mom packed, having nothing more in this house for you.

Moving in with changbin was something to get use to. However he helped you every step of the way. You got into much needed therapy and after your father’s sentence you felt like things were going up. As a little house warming gift Changbin had surprised you with a cat. You had bonded with him with the many times he had taken you to the cat cafe. You always said how much you wanted him and now you had him. You had your little family now.

Changbin showered you in love as usual, never missing a chance to compliment you, praise you and tell you how much he loved you. You knew in your heart your mom wherever she was, she was happy. Happy seeing her little girl finally get out of the situation. To live her life to the fullest.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp

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teapot-of-tyrahn · 10 hours ago

Text

REWATCHING PEARL'S EPISODE AND. I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS:

"you two are looking mighty green today... are you ill? are you sick?" and then. pearl pulled out an enchanted diamond sword. she held it for both of them to see as she said: "do you need help? i can assist you..."

she threatens them. sword in hand. threatens to relieve them of their lives. because isn't this how the game is supposed to be played? yellows kill dark greens for their lives. the poor kill the thriving. that's how it works. that's how it always has.

and then cleo says something she hadn't been expecting to hear:

"here's the question, pearl; do you need help?"

she had never been offered a life in last life; she'd only given them. in limited life her allies never offered her their time; she only took time from her enemies. she's never been offered a life. she'd never been offered help.

"...i would love help..."

she'd never been expecting them to help her. she came in the conversation expecting to take, like she always had, not be given.

"pearl, i'm happy for you to murder me, if required!"

he didn't even hesitate. he was happy to die for her.

"...why are you both the way you are...?"

why are you both so nice to me? what did i do to deserve you?

#wild life smp spoilers #wild life smp #wlsmp #wlsmp spoilers #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #scottsmajor #wild life pearl #wild life cleo #wild life scott #trafficblr #traffic smp #life series #traffic series #//#in the end she refused their lives. his life. because she had been willing to take - not be given. she had never expected to be given.#because knowing they'd die for her (in mumbo jumbo's own words; that they really loved her)...#was enough to make her want to make sure they would never have to.

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justhereforsomethingnice · 2 days ago

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“Great, welcome mr. Wayne.” Danny sighed when a man who introduced himself as Bruce Wayne entered the shop. “So happy you could make it. I’m Danny, I’ll be doing your reading today.” God, one ounce of energy less in his words and he wouldn’t be only dead on the inside anymore.

The man beamed at him. “Amazing to meet you Danny. Say, I’ve never seen you here before, are you new?” The man asked jovially.

Danny grimaced. “Yep, now please follow me.” He was going to get so nauseas from those damn fumes back there, he just knows it. With how shit had been going, he’s going to throw up that one sip of milkshake he managed before yesterdays disaster on those fancy ass shoes. And that man couldn’t stop smiling and touching every damn little trinket on his way to the back.

“And what is this,” Wayne asked holding up a shiny trinket, immediately dropping it and picking up the next one, “fascinating, and this? Is this a spell book, how peculiar.” Danny was going to add another shade to the collection here.

He finally reached the room. “Sit down over there please mr. Wayne. Now, what exactly did you want to achieve when coming here?” He asked. The only thing miss. Claire told him to actually do before the reading.

The man actually seemed to become bashful at that, a bit nervous. He wrung his hands before rubbing one of his hands over the opposite wrist. “I was actually hoping to talk to some resently deceased people. A friend of mine died and but was very fond of this shop you see.”

Danny held in the sigh. Great, it was most likely the woman with the pearls floating behind him. “Let me guess, lady, dark hair, nice pearly necklace.”

The man seemed caught of guard for just a second before becoming it seemed angry. Or just very very sad. “See here young man, I will -,”

“Yeah yeah, save it.” Was he being an ass? Yes. Did this man deserve it? Most likely not. Did he care? No. He just spend the entire night trying to find shelter for the rain just for it to either crumble, leak anyways or in one kinda memorable occasion, blow up. So no, he did not care that he hurt some Vlad’s 2.0 feelings. The woman eagerly began speaking so he just repeated what she said. “Great, so she wants you to not let the Matt hatter ruin Alice in wonderland for you?” Danny looked at the lady like she had gone crazy. “Really, that’s what you’re starting with? Anyways.” He sighed.

The man had become silent at that. “Also, we I ask Alfie?” He looked at the spirit lady who nodded enthusiastically. “Give you the book he wrote named ‘how to navigate social situations: a step by step guide’ and use it to finally have a good talk with her grandson.” Okay, so rich dude had family issues. None of his business. “And, in her words, ‘chance the time on the grandfather clock, this is just getting depressing’ whatever that means.” The man was just silently staring at him now.

Another ghost tapped the lady on the shoulder before he turned to Danny too. “And great, another one joined.” They linked hands. “So it’s a date now, great.” He grumbled more to himself. So it was two friends who died and not just one. Okay, he could deal with that. “He says that they will always love you no matter what.” So it was a lovers affair instead of just friends? “And that the name you’re looking for is Edward Colson? Sheesh, was this a murder or something.” The two were getting more exited and talking his ears off.

“One at a time please.” He glared to mr. Wayne’s left. The man glancing behind him, predictably seeing nothing. “Anyways, was that what you came for? Or do you need anything else?” The man seemed to have actual tears in his eyes.

“You can see my parents?” Danny snapped his eyes to the two who looked sadly at their apparently son. Well, that explained the fashion choice. Also, that was almost worse then a love affair murder case.

Danny just stared at the man and didn’t really know what to say. He was translating this guys dead moms words to him. Ancients, he was an asshole. Stupid, idiotic, moronic move Fenton. Great, how to cut this off as soon as possible. “Only for a while. The power in this room will fade in a bit.” The man was a totally different person now. Danny hesitated. “Do you want to say anything to them?”

He thinks he had much more tact just now than in the past 10 minutes. “I’m sorry.” The two ghost seemed to decent on the man. Cooing at him, telling him he was not at fault, that he couldn’t know, couldn’t have done anything, was only a child when it happened.

“Ah screw it.” Danny said before making just the tip of his finger invisible. That should contain the spirits becoming visible in the area, right? He was still debating wether this was a mistake or not while the spirits of Martha and Thomas Wayne became visible to their sons eyes. Ancients he needs Jazz.

I’m a Size Medium, Thanks.

Danny is irritated. No actually he is beyond irritated. He is annoyed, he is frustrated, he is…. He’s really fricking irritated and can’t be bothered to remember any more of Jazz’s SAT words.

He continues his glare out the window as he searches for his straw with his mouth.

He just- where is it- thinks it’s a stupid fricking-stupid ass milkshake-he shouldn’t have to basically-gah! Danny snaps his head down to find his suddenly missing straw, only to successfully poke it directly into his eye.

“Ow! Fricken-“ He groans, throwing his head back, and putting his hands to his face, “Mother-tucker, Holy Taming of A Shrew!” He pounds his free hand not cradling his eye on the table, trying not to make more of a scene. Of course, this utterly fails because it immediately tips over his milkshake glass with a clatter as it spills onto his pants, making him jump up with enough force to knock the table over and drop the milkshake glass the rest of the way to the floor.

Danny stares at it with blurry vision and a watery eye. He sighs, “At least-“

The glass shatters.

Danny sighs again, deeper. “Of course.”

He looks up at the restaurant around him. Noticing the many, many people staring at him.

Wonderful.

Danny grimaces, “Sorry, I so didn’t mean for that to happen, uh-“ Danny reaches to straighten the table, fumbling for a second before it stands upright, he steps away from it, “If there’s any way I can help or.. like fix it. I can pay for the cup..” a server comes over to him, “if you want..?”

The server’s dead eyes don’t waver as they silently place a wet floor sign over the spilled milkshake.

“Thanks.”

“Uh huh.”

The server walks away, leaving Danny to sigh all on his own. He leans over to grab his backpack from the booth, checking it over for milkshake before slinging it on his back, thankfully clean.

He makes it one step forward before he feels the floor go out from under him. Ah gravity. His greatest enemy. This is karma for all those times he’s ignored it, isn’t it?

The wind is knocked out of him when his back slams to the floor, cushioned by the dulcet sounds of his bag crunching against broken glass.

He looks up at the wet floor sign.

The man on the yellow plastic mocks him.

Danny sighs.

He curses his stupid luck.

He curses this stupid city.

Then he curses himself because he knows any of this stupid city’s curses end up affecting him anyways.

Danny gets to his feet, ignoring the feeling of milkshake on his hands and his… everywhere.

He trudges out of the diner without looking back. At least he’d already paid for it.

He grimaces at the milkshake handprint on the door, trying to wipe it away with his shirt and only succeeding in making it worse.

Danny catches the eyes of the server inside, staring at him, eyes progressively more annoyed.

Danny puts his hands up in surrender and backs away.

Directly into a person. Only his milkshake covered self prevents him from being hit with anything more than the man’s scathing glare.

He puts his hands back up and moves away to dodge everybody else on the sidewalk. Along with the occasional ghost. Visible only to him of course.

By the time he has managed to escape the sidewalks into an alley, he is certain there is a trail of slightly sticky businessmen behind him.

Danny crouches to swing his backpack down in front of him and take stock. Okay, he could put his sweatshirt on over it… but it would also get ruined… damn it.

Danny looks around, checking every inch of the alley for cameras and then backing himself into a corner just to be safe. The flicker of intangibility is barely noticeable except for the wet squelch of milkshake remnants dropping to the alley floor. Lovely.

And of course, the flash of every single Gotham ghost in the area becoming visible and almost tangible for a split second. Also… lovely. There’s a couple startled shouts on the street.

Maybe an alleyway was not the best place for that.

Danny slides his sweatshirt on over his shirt to at least pretend like he was covering a mess and then shimmies out of the alley while trying to make as little contact with ghosts as possible.

He’s almost completely certain he looks crazy as all get out if the stare he gets from a passerby means anything.

Of course… now he’s left glaring across the street again.

He can feel the Infini-Map burning a hole in his backpack. It said this was the next place a natural portal would open and get him back home.

It just didn’t say… when that portal would open.

But of course, it’ll be right in the middle of somebody’s store. Usually not an issue. Except again, this stupid city’s curses are attracted to his energy, so of course the store couldn’t be literally ANYTHING ELSE!

Danny glares at the stupid fricking sign and the stupid predictable pun and the stupid neon hand in the front window waving at him.

‘The Claire Witch Project: psychic, medium, and Claire-voyant’

Danny is on day three of simultaneously avoiding the entire building while remaining close enough he can be there when the portal forms.

He is dirty, tired, and running out of money. In short, Danny is starting to lose hope on this endeavor.

The worst part?

He has the perfect solution.

There’s a pathetic little piece of printer paper taped to the inside of the window.

‘Help wanted’

When he’d first gotten here, Danny had followed the infini-map all the way to this horrific city, seen the sign, and turned a quick 180. He’d rather die again thanks.

He’d smacked into two billboards just coming into the city, and there was literally no stars, why would he want to stay here till the portal opened when he could just find another?

Except.. Danny’s eye twitches dangerously as he thinks back on it- except there wasn’t another portal. This was it. For the foreseeable future, he either caught this portal or was stranded for whoever knows how much longer.

Danny sighs again and dreads his continued existence. He looks both ways on the street, takes a step forward, nearly gets run over, steps back, and turns for the nearest crosswalk.

Fine. He could follow rules if it meant increasing his chances of leaving.

He tries to hold in the sigh this time, he really does, he swears.

Not the one before he opens the shop door though, that sigh deserved freedom from his trials. It joins the myriad of whispy translucent shades lingering in the store. Because of course there was just enough spiritual energy in here for them to be visible to him.

“Hey there!” A girl in loose fitting colorful clothing appears from behind a corner, “I’m Claire! How can I help your life journey today?” He can see the way her bulky crystal hair accessories sway with her movements. What was he getting into here again?

Danny tries to ignore the incense shoving itself up his nose as he speaks, “Hey, I was…” He was really doing this huh? “Hoping that the help wanted position is still available?”

The girl looks him over as she moves to the back of the checkout counter. The clear observation makes him nervous, and he takes his hands out of his pockets to try and look marginally more… candidate-able.

“You have experience?”

“Sure d-“ He wants to throw up in his own mouth, ancients this is so cringe, just let him die, “Sure do!” He says through choked back vomit and false cheer, “I’m a…” -barf- “I’m a medium.”

“Oh don’t worry about that, you don’t need a uniform, I don’t need your size silly!”

Danny blinks. What? Also. What?

“Wait-I’m hired?”

Claire pauses from getting something from under the counter, “Didn’t I already say that?”

“Uh…” Danny’s eyes dart around the shop, “No?”

“Oh well, you are, you have the right vibes, don’t worry,” she slides a few papers onto the glass counter, and Danny is abruptly, horrifically reminded he has no legal documents to speak of here. He thinks. He hasn’t actually checked.

Crap.

“Of course, most of my clients pay in cash, so I’ll pay you in cash too just to make it easier, and any crystal sales I’ll just add to it. Sound good?”

“Sure?” Oh no, is this gonna be Danny’s first real job? “But I don’t know anything about crystals. I have a goth friend but she’s not into that stuff.”

Claire waves his comment away, “Oh no worries, I can leave a packet.”

Danny nods, “Thank- wait, sorry. Leave?”

Claire laughs, pulling out a bag from behind her counter, “Yes I leave for a trip in two days. Family things you know,”

Danny feels like his brain is being scrambled, “Oh, what, what happened? Is everything okay?”

Claire looks at him, blinking wide, “What? Why would anything have happened?”

“Because… you said, you were leaving for-“

“Just don’t want to get caught in a bad position, you know how it is.”

Some of the shades stir in the air, their misty movements twitching with agitation enough to draw his eye for a second.

“Right. Well I’m glad I came when I did then,” Danny says, because he still doesn’t want to be rude.

Claire smiles at him.

Danny pats his hands against his sides awkwardly, trying not to look up at the movement of the shades intertwined with incense smoke at the ceiling.

There’s a little jingle behind him, which he belatedly realizes is the door when Claire moves to greet them before he can even turn around.

“Ms. Jives! Wonderful to see you! How’s the goldfish?”

Ms. Jives turns out to be a slightly older woman, maybe early seventies with a cane but she looks good. The coffee brown hair is almost certainly a dye job but it frames her wrinkled face well.

“Oh Jim is lovely dear, much better this way, I bought him a new plant just the other day, he just loves it.”

“Good, here for your reading right?”

“I am! But you can finish up with your customer first if you need,” Ms. Jives says. Claire waves her concern away.

“No need, this is Danny, I just hired him, he has a similar mystical connection.”

“Oh that’s lovely,” Ms. Jives says as she passes by him, “Would you like to come with dear? Claire is going to do a reading for me.”

Danny grimaces, “Sure.”

In the end, by the time Ms. Jives makes it slowly to the back room, Danny is trying to think of where he’s gonna sleep tonight. He mostly zones out when Claire dims the lights and starts talking nonsense.

All he heard was “something something card, something something magician something reversed something something balance something something chihuahua.”

Ok, maybe he wasn’t listening. But he was trying to focus on not staring at the movement of the shades, and the incense was mega strong and Claire had some weird ass music playing. He’s almost certain she’s faking everything. Down to the atrociously bright bead earrings.

Danny sags when she finishes, all too happy to leave the weird little curtain covered room.

He stands in the front awkwardly while Ms. Jives pays, twiddling with the various crystals and trying to figure which ones are actually y’know.. mystical or whatever.

Answer? Surprisingly most of them. That he could tell, at least, but it’s not like he actually knows how to sense that out on purpose. He’s pretty sure a couple of the heart shaped rose quartzes are complete duds but what does he care.

He’s thoroughly bored by the time Claire calls him back over. Apparently to tell him that he’ll do a reading tomorrow.

“Tomorrow?!” Danny blurts, “Don’t you want to like- I don’t know, make sure I can- or like.. I don’t know, but tomorrow?”

Claire just smiles at him, “I believe you can handle it, trust me.”

‘Trust you? Lady, I just met you and you’ve been nothing but crazy the whole time!’ Danny wants to say, instead, he keeps his mouth shut and nods with what he’s sure is fear in his eyes.

Then she’s pressing something into his hands and when he looks down it’s a key. A key. There’s no way-

“So be here 9am sharp, Danny! You can open up and I’ll come in later!” Claire starts pushing him towards the door, “And Mr. Wayne should be waiting for you when you get here!”

Danny turns around to catch himself in the doorframe, “Mr who will be what now!? Wait, Ms. Claire, Ma’am- why-!” He stops to lower his volume and ask politely, “Why am I doing this? You don’t even know me,” Danny says, one leg still in the store.

Claire smiles, “Because the universe told me to silly! See you tomorrow! Here’s my number!” Then she slaps a sticky note to his chest with enough finality that Danny takes a step back. The door closes with a click and ring of the bell inside.

Danny stares at the door with his eye twitching for at least a minute.

What the hell did ‘the universe told me to’ even mean, you kook!?

Danny sighs and looks down at the sticky note, quickly inputting the number in his phone before something happens to it.

He’s barely hit save when he finally steps away from the shop front and…. is immediately drenched to the bone.

Because apparently it’d been pouring rain and he simply hadn’t noticed from under the awning.

He watches as blue ink slides off the sticky note in little sad face streaks.

Danny sighs.

#don’t know how that came out #written on a phone so ignore any mistakes d:#batman #danny phantom #danny fenton #dc #danny phantom crossover #bruce wayne #Danny being done yet didn’t think of lying to get rid of frootloop number 2 #Bruce is shooketh #the universe is laughing tho #debatable if it was clockwork or just an unknown god somewhere from dc

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thelov3lybookworm · 19 hours ago

Text

Belonging with them

Day 3: Belonging.

Summary: He knew where he belonged now.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1150

Warnings: azzie continues being jelly of kaden lolll

A/n: i love hazel sm yall dont get it 🥺 this fic is based on a short i saw on yt and the dad is like the biggest hunk and gave such cassian vibes and he genuinely cried 🥺 i was gonna write this fic for cassian but then i decided to give this to azzie cus he deserves to cry hehe

(if you dont know hazel and kaden, theyre from my mini series overprotective bat. it was a 2 part series which can be found on my azriel masterlist. all the fic in this week will be revolving around these two cuties hehe)

@azrielappreciationweek

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

"I don’t really know where I fit in anymore."

"I’ve been alive almost five and a half centuries and I’m not sure of that, either."

The day he had said those words to Feyre seemed like a lifetime away, as if experienced in a dream centuries ago when he was younger and could not differentiate between reality and what his brain had conjured up. But he knew, it had merely been five years.

The five years he had cherished the most in his life.

He loved his family. He adored the way Rhys and Cassian bickered during their annual snowball fight, the way Amren found a way to slide in a snide remark at every dinner, the way Mor would always be ready to go partying. Above all, he adored how all his family including the Archeron sisters would be ready to help him and be there for him any day. Even in the middle of the night when he did not want to wake up his wife but knew he needed someone to help him with his crying daughter.

But… they did not complete him. He loved them to bits and would readily give his life for them… before he met his now wife and decided she was the one he would spend his life with, mating bond be damned. He had lost all hopes of finding his mate back then after waiting for five centuries.

Imagine his shock when on their wedding day, he felt another thread of gold tying him to his wife.

Now as he sat watching his daughter pet a purring Nuts lounging on the low table in front of him while explaining to him how tea was made, he smiled.

He had found his place of belonging. And it was with his wife and daughter.

Of course, there had to be that boy trying to take his daughter away from him. What was his name? Kade? Kaden? Azriel thought bitterly.

He knew he was being dramatic. His daughter was barely four years at this point, no four year old was going to steal her away.

Hazel turned to Azriel, making him focus all his attention on her. He offered her a smile when she handed him a small pink cup.

"What is this?" He asked, bringing the empty toy to his lips.

She shot him an incredulous look. "It’s the tea you ordered daddy."

"Oh, yeah sorry, I was thinking about something."

She shook her head. "Stop thinking and focus, daddy. Kaden always pays attention."

Azriel stilled.

I am being compared to a four year old boy now? What has life come to.

He sighed, mumbling out an apology even though all he wanted to do was tell her to stay away from that boy.

He did not want to be forced to go apologise again.

She began fumbling with the littered toys on the desk once more, completely ignoring Azriel in favour of mumbling instructions to Nuts, as if teaching him how to cook.

As he watched her move over to the huge armchair and place a cup on it, conversing with what Azriel could only hope was not spirits of the deceased, his curiosity peaked.

Maybe it was a bad idea, but he needed to make sure that she was not getting overly friendly with Kaden.

"Hazel, this tea is amazing." He waited till she giggled before continuing. "By the way, how’s school?"

It was daycare to help her get accustomed to going to school next year, but Hazel insisted she was a big girl and attended big girl school.

"It’s fine. Miss Black gave me a gold star yesterday because I helped her." Hazel was focused on the air she was stirring in her red pot as she talked, lips pursed slightly in concentration.

"Hmm. Who’s your best friend?"

Please don’t say Kaden. Not Kaden. Please.

She turned around to glare at him, and he wondered if by any chance he had said the words aloud. But he knew he hadn’t. Azriel wouldn’t let himself speak without permission from himself.

Her brows bunched up, lips pouting and eyes narrowed, she looked as offended as an old grandma being told her grandchild was full and did not want more food.

"Daddy, it’s you. You’re my best friend." She rolled her eyes.

Azriel watched. He simply watched her return back to stirring her pot.

Cassian had been the one to teach her the eye rolling. Azriel had been amused. Seeing a child barely reaching his knees roll her eyes at him like she had lived five lives was nothing short of funny.

But right now, it felt anything but.

It’s you daddy.

His eyes were prickling, that was his first conscious thought after long moments of silence in his head. His vision was getting blurry, throat clogging. Tell tale signs of a sob session oncoming. But he could not bring himself to care as he stared at this little faeling, who did not even realise what she had done.

You’re my best friend.

Azriel simply sat back against the couch, the cushions pressing against his bare back, and let the tears have their way on his skin.

I’m her best friend.

Even despite the emotions Hazel had brought forth, somewhere in the back of his mind Azriel was rejoicing that her best friend was not Kaden.

Guess I’m never beating the territorial illyrian accusations.

The shadows settled down on his shoulders, swirling softly against his skin as they too watched Hazel play and pet Nuts occasionally. They did not inform him of his wife’s arrival in the living room. They did not have to. He simply felt when her presence was near. The all consuming feeling of love growing stronger in his chest being another indicator.

"Hazel, it’s bath time baby. Let’s go."

Hazel huffed as if what Y/n had said was the most outrageous thing ever. "Mommy, I can’t leave yet. There are customers."

Azriel practically felt his wife’s eyes narrow. "Daddy can attend to your customers."

Hazel turned to look at Azriel pleadingly, her eyes wide and placating before they filled with shock. "Daddy why are you crying!"

Y/n drew closer. "Azzie?"

Azriel blinked, smiling up at his wife before picking up his daughter. "It’s nothing. Just some dust."

Hazel turned to scowl at Nuts. "I told you to clean up properly. Now see, because of you my daddy is crying."

Azriel huffed out a laugh, pressing his lips to her round cheek.

"Let’s go shower baby. I’ll even get your toys, yeah?"

Azriel’s gaze swung to Y/n at the end of his sentence. She gave him a knowing smile.

"Can Nuts come too? Please daddy, mommy!"

"Fine, but no splashing." Y/n pointed a finger at the father-daughter duo, eyebrows raised.

Hazel had begun to whine, but even she knew not to argue when mommy was serious.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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mr-ys-phantasma · 3 days ago

Text

🌙 Moon Phases 🌙

Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1652

Chapter 38:

"Time to finish The Road. We are one trial closer to the big score!" She exclaimed and started to lead, making you all follow her down the path.

"Earth magic with no Green Witch." Jen reminded Agatha, since Rio had gone to do her duty and left them behind.

"We're back to square one." Billy agreed.

Agatha rolled her eyes. "Oh, there's plenty of overlap between Earth and Potions, right, Jenny Kale?"

Jen bit back a sarcastic remark. "Some."

"Please. Your last name is a vegetable. Worst kind," Agatha said, reverting back to mean unnecessary comments. "Plus, we have Sugar over here. One extra set of hands. Oh, and don't look at her like that; she is more capable than you think, " she continued, focusing on you.

She even went as far as to slow down so you could catch up with her; only to pinch your cheeks in a playful manner.

At that moment, though, you clearly did not share her humour or her fake optimistic side. You grabbed her wrist and gently lowered her hand away from your cheeks.

"Ags," you called out her name, in a tone she knew too well.

You were catching up to her facade, and her fake smile disappeared. She did not like it when you were using that tone, expecting she would confess what was on her mind.

Sometimes Agatha did that, but right now, those things were the last thing she wanted to think of. And so, she continued on; not truly caring what kind of image she was giving to the others.

She knew in the end, you would never hate her or walk away; and Billy needed her to find his brother. So she had the two of you secured.

Now, if Jen chose to be upset and offended, she didn't care. She was just... Jen.

"I have to be honest," Agatha continued agter giving the small group a dramatic pause. "I'm surprised you survived this long, Kale. My money was on Lilia."

You chose to put your foot down at that moment. No matter how annoying Jen could and had proven to be, that did not mean she deserved to be attacked that way.

"Agatha, enough. This is not the time for comparisons or disrespecting the dead," you commented, making her stop in her tracks. "Show some respect cause we are only here because of Lilia's sacrifice."

Especially when she was still mourning, perhaps being the only member to truly care for Lilia's loss. Cause let's ve honest, Billy never truly came close or cared that much.

And you... well, you hadn't truly bonded with anyone cause you didn't want to. You knew they might die. They might turn on you on the road, and you were strictly there for Agatha.

One last chance to stand by her side for good this time and not let her slip through your fingers, unknown when and if she would return back to you.

But you had failed in that initial plan. All because you had started to warm up to a lost boy with hidden potential under the name of Billy Maximoff.

Agatha fought to keep that fake bitchy smirk and not react to your words. She expected you to comment once in a while, since you akwys did, but to go against her so strongly? So often?

She was not sure she liked that. Perhaps she had been away from you too much, and you had forgotten... forgotten the rules she had laid for you. Rules you had obediently followed.

She would have to change that when this would be all over. You had been astray from the path for too long, but she was not going to let you continue that way, especially with Rio so keen on entering your life and being part of it.

Agatha cleared her throat, controlling her thoughts. "Come on, Sugar. Cheer up!" She said, putting on a mask once again. "What fresh horrors await us! It's's the big finish, so close to us!"

She started to walk again, trying to keep her moon by being dramatic; talking of fireworks and spectacles and.... she tripped..

However, it was what she tripped on that surprised all of you.

"Our shoes." You exclaimed and moved to investigate, ensure your eyes were nor deceiving you.

Much to your surprise and even slight horror, those were your shoes. They were nicely tucked and placed where you all had removed and left them. When you had first started the Road.

It felt as if it had been too long since that took place, while it may as well been a few hours; perhaps a day.

Only then did you truly realize how time disoriented you all had been. How you had almost forgotten where you were and when you started, feeling so much longer than it truly was.

"We're back where we started." Jen realized but did not dare to approach the shoes any closer, as she was reminded of the witches that died before; whose shoes were the only reminders of them left.

"The Witches' Road is a circle. And this is the finish line?" Billy questioned, looking at you and Agatha; since you were the last and only ones to survive the road.

Or so you claimed.

Agatha had the strongest reaction to everything, clearly upset by the sight. She had been through so much in the past few trials, especially that damn spirit trial.

She had been humiliated, trickef, trialled, tired, and by the gods had her patience be tested.

"That's it?" She exclaimed, anger bubbling within her, mimicking a volacon about to erupt or a tsunami ready to sink a whole country with one hit. "That's it?!" She yelled, glaring at the sky at whatever entity our there might be watching and most likely mocking them.

"Well, maybe we passed the trial." Billy suggested, trying to be the optimist in the group and calm down Agatha from pulling her own hair or finding a way to set the whole place in flames.

Agatha turned her head to look at him, her face hard. "Then how exactly do we get off?" She asked rhetorically.

Of course, Billy didn't realize it and tried to anseer it. "Well, maybe we..." she didn't let him finish.

"If you don't know, then keep quiet."

Billy bit his tongue, feeling his own anger flaring up as once again he was treated with so much disrespect; it was ending up to become both annoying and tiring.

"We keep going." Agatha suddenly suggested.

"What?" Jen and Billy exclaimed while you stared at your lover, trying to make sure you heard her correctly.

"We go again. It'll work the second time." She explained, trying to sound certain, but everyone could see that she was not convincing enough.

"Ags, this won't work, and you know it," you said, trying to be the one and get her both to listen and calm down.

Your lover simply pushed her hair off her shoulder. "Of course it will. We have nothing to lose"

Before you could argue or reason with her, Jen interfered; though this time she had a very valid point.

"There is absolutely zero chance, I'm m going to endure that experience again." She said snd you silently agreed with her.

The trials have have exhausting and if by some twisted turn of fate you had to endure them again... you were not ready.

No matter the answers that might be the same, you could also not pass through that again; let alone so soon.

As the three witches argued, with Jen and Agatha being the loudest and you caught in the middle; Billy chose to act.

He was also tired from everything, and he wanted to just be done. He wanted to find Tommy, have his answers, and return to his civilian life. It might not be truly his, but it was a stable thing in his life that didn't consist of backstabbing, people dying, and lies being told so often they mixed with the truth.

"We took them off out of respect for The Road." He started as he stood in front of his shoes and grabbed one . "Screw The Road." And with those words, he put his shoe on.

Yet in that exact moment... he disappeared from sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sudden disappearance made the three of you gasp in surprise, none expecting it to happen. Worse was the fact that you didn't know where he went and if what he did was the right choice or the one leading him to his doom.

"So, what do we do know?" Jen dared to ask and look at you and Agatha.

You exchanged a look with your lover, first time sering this. You were unsure of what you should truly do, let alone what you might experience next.

Yet the more you remained in that annoying creepy lurking forest. The more you were reminded of your limited choices and the fact that you had come back to the beginning... the more certain you were of what to do.

Worse case scenario, you were kicked off the Road or killed. Both of those theories felt so much better within your hearts, than spending a minute longer on this hellish road.

"Time to wear our shoes," Agatha said and went first, disappearing as soon as she put her shoes on.

This left you and Jen to exchange a look, your fellow witch clearly not thrilled with the idea and not fully confident that this was the right choice.

She did not want to take any more risks. It was too stressful.

"Not much of a choice," you said, doing a not so good effort in sounding reassuring.

She watched you head for your shoes and put them on, the sight of her watching you the last thing you saw before your vision turned black.

Chapter 39

#agatha all along #agatha x reader #agatha harkness x reader #moon phases fanfic #agatha fanfic #marvel #kathryn hahn #aubrey plaza #agatha harkness #agatha spoilers #lesbian

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thefallennightmare · 2 days ago

Text

Just Pretend-Chapter Thirty

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: If you haven't yet, please read DREAMSTATE before you read this chapter. It's imperative that you do otherwise you will be confused. There is also ONE chapter left after this one. I cannot believe we're almost to the end, folks. It's a very bittersweet feeling.

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

NOAH

“Maybe I'll invite them over once I'm back home from the art store. I figured it'll be alright since you have therapy and we’re not going to dinner until four,” she sat up while letting the sheet fall to her lap.

I was still in a state of shock that I couldn’t even gaze at her perfect breasts, my mind whirling with so many different emotions. All I could do was numbly nod.

“I must say,” she smirked while brushing away the hair from my face, laying a kiss on my lips. “It’s always great to wake up to you every morning. But on my birthday, it’s extra special.”

Blinking wildly, I shook out the spiderwebs from waking up from my dreamstate and gave her a tender smile while bringing her into my chest.

“Happy birthday, angel,” I kissed her head.

Her arms snaked around my back, resting her cheek against my chest. “Thank you, Noah. Oh, you’re sweaty.”

Her giggles echoed throughout the room as she glanced up at me. “Your heart is also beating so fast. Are you alright?”

“I just had a nightmare. That’s all,” I assured her.

The door creaked open causing both of us to look over and see Kuma pushing his way inside, sitting at the bed. He’d grown in size the last week and was beginning to take up a lot of space.

Not that any of us complained. We loved him.

“He’s giving me the creepy I need to go out look,” Y/N giggled while getting ready to get out of bed.

Pushing her back onto the bed and throwing the covers over her, I slipped out while standing to my feet.

“It’s your birthday. You deserve to sleep in and treat yourself,” I said.

Pulling out my wallet from the drawer of my nightstand, I tossed my credit card onto her lap. Almost immediately Y/N began to fight my decision but I shook my head.

“I want to take care of you, Y/N. Especially today. Please?” I begged while jutting out my bottom lip.

Eventually she nodded and rose to her knees to wrap her arms around my neck. Her gorgeous naked form on display made my cock twitch. If it wasn’t for Kuma staring at us, I’d drag her into the shower for a quick morning birthday sex.

“How did I get so lucky?” She mused.

“I think it was me that got lucky, angel,” I said with all the seriousness I could muster.

Our lips were so close, I could feel her warm breath fan over mine, but as I was about to close the distance Kuma’s deep bark caused both of us to jump.

��Alright, alright. I’ll let you out,” I sighed.

With a swift pass to Y/N’s bare ass, she shrieked before running towards the bathroom. With a nod towards the patio door in our room, I led Kuma outside to where he immediately ran over to his typical bathroom spot in the far corner of the yard. Since it was fenced, we didn’t have to worry about him running off.

As I rubbed a finger over the side of my hand, tracing the letters, I felt a fond smile pull at my lips when I remembered my guide not only in my dreamstate but in my life as well. Every big moment, good or bad, Keaton had been there with me guiding me along.

“Miss you, man,” I blew out a shaky breath when I remembered how it felt seeing his face again.

Feeling a soft brush of fur between my legs, I peered down at Salem who purred lovingly. Bringing him up to my chest, I let him rub his face in my neck to which I noticed a few strands of gray fur in his face. The once bright red color I bought him began to dull so I made note to buy him another one today but the tag with the Death of Peace of Mind symbols was still fresh like the first day I put them on his collar.

“I’m surprised you’re not curled up in bed with Michael,” I spoke to my cat son.

“Because he woke me up at five this morning screaming to be fed.”

Snapping my gaze to my right, I saw Michael lounging in the hammock while Jesse and Tay sat together on the outdoor couch, both holding to-go cups from Fika.

“Well, did you feed him?” I raised a brow at Michael before dropping Salem onto his chest and sitting in one of the chairs around the fire pit; embers still smoking from the fire last night.

“No, I let him starve,” Michael’s voice was thick with sarcasm as he let Salem snuggle up to him.

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Tay asked with a smile.

I motioned towards our bedroom. “Getting ready. I think she might head out to the art store. She’s been wanting to get a new easel since her other one broke when we rearranged her studio a few months ago.”

As we chatted for a bit, Y/N emerged from the patio door leading to our bedroom dressed in a bright yellow sundress, the warm California sun paling in comparison.

“Mochi,” her voice sang as she walked over to us and held her hands together underneath her chin.

“Mochi?” Tay asked Jesse quietly.

He kissed the side of her head. “It’s a long story.”

Dragging my fingers up and down her bare thigh as she stood next to the chair I’d been sitting on, I gave her my full attention.

“Yea?”

“Could I borrow your SUV? There’s more space than my small car,” she even said the word please with her eyes.

“Of course. You know you don’t have to ask,” I said while patting her thigh, her slowly dropping into my lap.

She thanked me with a kiss right before the rest of them wished her a happy birthday, something she couldn't hide her excitement because the love behind her smile was evident.

While Y/N sat in my lap, I glanced over to Tay who gave me a nod before clearing her throat while sitting up straight.

“Do you mind if I tag along? I know it’s your birthday but I’ve been dying to check out that antique place next door to the art shop.”

Immediately Y/N nodded while shooting up from my lap. “Yes please! I did not want to go alone.”

I fawned a frown, pretending to be hurt that I couldn’t go with her.

“I’m sorry, angel. I could try to reschedule my therapy appointment but we know how busy Dr. Poulos is.”

She bent down and kissed me. “It’s alright, Noah. I need a little girl time today.”

Knew she would take the bait.

After saying goodbye to them and making sure they were out of ear shot, I locked eyes with Jesse.

“Still good with the plan?”

He immediately nodded. “Everything is set up. Faye and Bryan will be here with their cameras.”

Michael spoke next. “Everyone knows where to be here and when.”

I nodded while rising to my feet and ran a hand through my unruly hair. “Good. I’ve got a few things to pick up in town.”

“Mind if we tag along?” Jesse’s words mimicked Tay’s from earlier. “We’re bored just sitting here.”

“Says you!” Michael said while rolling out of the hammock. “I’m fine hanging out at home doing absolutely nothing.”

Leading us inside with Kuma and Salem nearly knocking me over as they barreled past us, Jesse and Michael continued to bicker about something I stopped paying attention to; mind on something else.

“Michael, are you fine driving?” I asked while stopping in the hallway that led to my bedroom. “I need to make a few phone calls.”

“Yeah. Twenty minutes?”

All three of us nodded before dispersing in the house towards our respective bedrooms. The scent of Y/N still lingered in the air as I reached for my phone perched on my nightstand and as I went to pull up my texts, I noticed a voicemail notification without a missed call.

“Hm, weird,” I muttered as I clicked open the text thread between Y/N and I.

Me: Remember to treat yourself today, angel. You deserve whatever you want.

Almost immediately she texted back.

Angel 🪽: All I want is you, Noah.

My heart soared in my chest at her words, truly thankful that everything bad in our life the last few weeks had been a dream.

More like a nightmare.

Me: You already have all of me.

Just before I pocketed my phone, a new text popped up.

Joakim Karlsson: Any chance we could meet up soon? I need to talk to you about something before tonight.

Furrowing my brows, I typed up my response.

Me: Sure. I’m about to head to the jewelry store on 11th street. We can meet there in about thirty minutes?

When he replied with a thumbs up emoji, I tossed my phone onto my bed and stalked into the bathroom to get ready, excitement for the day causing me to wear a wide smile.

READER

“I am so tired,” I sighed while carrying the stacks of bags up the steps towards the house.

Tay giggled behind me as she carried the two new canvas’ I bought. “I can’t believe we spent two hours in the antique shop!”

Resting my hip against the front door, I adjusted the bags so I could wrap my hand around the door knob. “They had so many cute little skull trinkets! I hope Noah is fine with me littering his desk with some of them.”

I turned to face Tay as I pushed my way inside the house and didn’t notice it was not only quiet but dark as well until a boisterous round of voices caused me to nearly drop my bags.

“SURPRISE!”

“MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled while clutching my chest, gazing around the filled living room.

Tears filled my eyes when I noticed every single one of my friends filling the house because of my birthday. They all were here for me.

Noah stood out amongst all of them dressed in a crisp white shirt that accentuated his tattoos and black dress pants. However, since he didn’t allow shoes in the house, he was wearing a pair of bright red socks.

He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand while the other hand was stuffed deep into his pocket. His hair had grown a bit since he skipped his last few haircuts so it was reaching his ears, even combing back like how it currently was. The chain around his neck rested softly against the white shirt. His cologne lingered in the air and the light from the lamp in the corner of the living room casted him in a bright glow; his own aura.

Noah called me his angel but right now standing in front of me, he was my own angel.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.”

Tay came up behind me and took the bags from my hand so I could step into Noah’s warm embrace, the smell of the flowers engulfing my senses.

Violets.

Almost immediately I was brought back to when he surprised me with an array of flowers from his belated valentines day surprise.

“The violets, also known as the Sumire, represent life and sincerity. Its small size and delicate nature represent deep affection for someone. These flowers are very important in Japan.”

“Noah,” I choked while taking the flowers from him. “Did you do all of this?”

The entire house was covered in balloons, streamers, and a huge banner that took up the entire wall behind the television in the living room saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N. WE ALL LOVE YOU.

Salem and Kuma were sitting on the long evergreen couch, both wearing bright red bowties. It looked like Kuma even was groomed, his fur fresh and clean.

“Did you give Kuma a bath?” I chuckled while swaying in Noah’s arms.

He snorted. “Fuck no. I gladly paid the groomer $140 to take care of it. Remember the last time we tried to do that ourselves?”

I cringed remembering exactly what happened. Kuma jumped out of the bathtub mid shampoo scrub and ran all throughout the house, leaving a wet trail in his wake. It would have been fine if he didn’t jump into Michael’s bed to roll around in it while he slept.

Needless to say I bought Michael a new bedspread.

“You bought Salem a new collar?” I asked.

“His old one was faded. But I realized I should have got one for Kuma so they could match,” Noah said.

I peered around the house, taking in sight of all of my friends. Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch, both of them grinning from ear to ear; something that told me they had a surprise for me. I only knew this because Malcolm’s left eye would always twitch when he was desperate to tell me something.

Which is what was happening right now.

Davis, Steven, Michael, and Folio were all in the kitchen setting up the spread of food that seemed to have been just delivered before I walked in the door.

Astrid and Jolly were sitting at the kitchen table, both having a hushed conversation amongst themselves. I raised a brow at the action of Jolly resting a hand on the side of her stomach, her giggling at something he said.

Tay, who had set all of my belongings I bought earlier in my studio, emerged back into the living room just in time for Jesse to jump up from behind the couch to scare her. She yelped in surprise before smacking his chest repeatedly.

“I fucking hate when you do that!” There wasn’t an ounce of venom in her voice as her laughter echoed when he picked her up to twirl her around.

Matt had Faye wrapped into his chest as they sat on the other end of the couch, him staring at her with love in his eyes while he played with her necklace.

But it was Nicholas who sat at the table next to Jolly and Astrid that caught my attention more than the others.

“Birthday tattoos?!” I squealed while leading Noah over to the table.

“It’s become our tradition, angel,” Noah chuckled while handing the flowers to Astrid, who gladly set them in a vase with water.

Nicholas rose from the chair after pausing setting up his tattoo equipment and gave me a hug.

“Happy birthday, Y/N.”

I pressed my cheek to his chest, feeling so thankful for his friendship over the years. I wasn’t sure where I’d be if it wasn't for his words of wisdom in some of the darkest moments of my life.

“Thank you, Nicholas.” I smiled while pulling away from him.

“What are you going to get?” Faye asked from her position on the couch, wrapped underneath Matt’s arm.

I made a mock tapping on my chin, pretending that I was thinking about it. “A duck.”

Noah choked on his drink, nearly spewing it all over his shirt, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Why a duck?” He wondered, wiping his chin.

"Well,” I began while sitting on one of the chairs and extending my right arm towards Nicholas so he could prep the area. “According to your fanbase, they see you as a duck so I guess that’s why I’m going to get it."

The stare Noah and I shared was strong and vibrant, the aura of our connected souls radiating light in the empty air around all of us. Most of everyone here had been here since the beginning of our relationship, so we knew how much this moment meant to them.

Noah stood behind the chair I sat on and placed a kiss on top of my head. “Well, I guess I’m getting a crow tattooed then.”

Looking back at Nicholas, I bit my lip. “Would it be too much to ask for two tattoos?”

“It’s your birthday, Y/N. Whatever you want,” he said.

“What else were you thinking of getting?” Jolly asked.

With a sad sigh, I spoke quietly yet loud enough for everyone to hear. “It can’t rain all the time.”

Noah didn’t speak, simply squeezed my shoulder for a long moment, before sitting down next to me.

“Still have your dads letter?” Nicholas asked while finishing setting up his equipment.

I raised a brow. “Of course I do. Why?”

“If you want, I can copy your dad’s handwriting for the tattoo. Might take me a bit if you don’t mind waiting,” he said.

Choking on a sob, I nodded eagerly. “Please.”

“I’ll go grab it,” Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head before rising from the table.

For the next long while, everyone conversed and laughed, all of us reminiscing of old times together as Nicholas tattooed me and then Noah. I did have to chuckle because since Noah didn’t have much free skin, he had his crow tattooed on the back of his calf. Meaning we had to super sanitize our kitchen table for Noah to lay on it.

“I can’t believe Mr. Clean Freak, who sends overly aggressive texts in the group chat about a dirty crock pot, is getting tattooed on a surface we eat on!” Michael shook his head in disbelief.

Noah shot him a glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.”

I giggled while eating a plate of food, my two new tattoos wrapped up. The duck was a simple cartoon design with the infamous duck lips. Nicholas even added hair to it so it looked like Noah. It was on the inside of my forearm. The It Can’t Rain All The Time tattoo was done on my ribs which required me to change into something more comfortable so I wasn't lying on the couch with my dress hiked up to my breasts giving everyone a show.

Noah made sure to follow me into our bedroom to give me my first birthday present.

“Fuck,” I moaned while resting my head against the closed door of our room.

Noah hummed ini delight as he knelt in front of me, his face buried between my legs. The bottom of my dress covered him so I couldn’t see as he devoured me.

“Already so wet,” he mused before flicking his tongue against my clit and slipping in another finger, spreading them wide inside of me.

“Noah,” I panted and grasped his hair with such force, I heard a hiss fall from his mouth.

“Happy birthday, angel.”

A tender kiss inside of my thigh was the only warning I received before he began devouring me again. He sucked and hummed against my clit while his fingers continued to pump in and out of me in quick succession. It was all a blur as I let my body react to Noah’s touch. I whined when his fingers slipped out of me, leaving me empty and desperate for more, only then for his tongue to spear inside of me. His moans of pleasure were downed out as I gripped his hair and pushed him farther into my center. The euphoric burn was all consuming ,every bit of my soul becoming one with Noah as he refused to let up.

“Noah,” I panted, my orgasm teetering on the edge of explosion.

His fingers gripped my thighs to help keep me upright against the door, nails leaving half crescent shaped moons in the tender flesh. I rode against his tongue, basking in the splendor that Noah was the only one to ever provide me. With a muffled shout behind my hand, I let go of the grip on my orgasm and allowed it to haul me into the void of white haziness, stars dancing in the corners of my vision.

“Fuck,” Noah groaned after pulling himself away from my legs, my arousal soaking his chin and stood to his full height.

He made no move to wipe it away.

Now, almost an hour later, I stood in the kitchen with my family as Noah finished up his tattoo, grunting about how he’s going to have to disinfect the table a few more times before anyone eats there. Chase and Malcolm were leaning against the kitchen island in front of me, excitement evident in their eyes.

“Are you guys going to tell me what has your eye twitching?” I asked Malcolm.

Chase hummed while looking over at him. “You know, I never noticed that before.”

The auburn haired man rolled his eyes before handing me his phone to show me an email from our tour manager, Ethan.

“Wait,” I stood straighter. “No fucking way!”

My best friends and bandmates couldn’t stop smiling as I began bouncing on my feet, something Noah caught because he came over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

“What’s going on?” He wondered.

“Hollow Souls is playing Incarceration in a few months! Do you know how huge this is for us? We haven’t played a festival of this caliber since Warped Tour.” My voice was raised two octaves, showing my excitement.

Jesse, who was slow dancing with Tay to the music playing, nodded. “ERRA just got asked to play.”

“Hang on, both Hollow Souls and ERRA got asked to play but not Bad Omens?” Matt was dumbfounded as he whipped out his phone, hastily typing away. “Oh, shit.”

Folio raised a brow while looking over Matt’s shoulder. “Dude, don’t you ever check your work email? They sent that email almost a week ago!”

“Fuck off, I’ve been busy,” Matt shot back while playing with Faye’s necklace again.

“So you mean to tell me,” I began while looking at all of my friends in the room, “Hollow Souls, Bad Omens, and ERRA are all playing at Incarceration?”

Noah beamed. “Talk about a sick ass line up!”

While I sat on the couch talking with Davis and Michael as the former told us he met someone at the bookstore the other day, I noticed Noah, Chase, and Malcolm disappear into the back yard. I wondered what their conversation was when I saw a huge smile break out on Malcolm's face while Chase stood frozen before Noah clamped a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him something.

Later on in the evening, I found myself talking with Faye and Matt, ever curious on where her necklace came from; the one Matt could not stop touching all night.

“Is this new?” I asked.

Faye nodded with a huge grin plastered across her face. “Matt gave it to me last nice.”

“It’s a pretty necklace,” I said while getting a better look at the glowing diamond in the middle.

Matt playfully smacked my hand away. “Not just any necklace. It’s an engagement necklace.”

Both Noah and I froze at his words, wondering if we heard him correctly. Faye smacked him upside the head, causing Matt to grumble a slew of curses.

“I told you not to say anything, Matthew. Tonight is about Y/N, not us,” she chastised him.

He rubbed at his head while fixing his hat. “It just slipped out.”

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “Did you just say engagement necklace? Like he proposed last night?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Noah asked, rubbing his hand softly over my stomach.

Faye sighed while twirling the necklace between her fingers. “We didn’t want to steal the spotlight away from Y/N. Today is her day.”

“FUCK THAT!” I yelled, causing everyone to stare at us. “Whoops sorry. Keep doing what you guys are doing.”

I didn’t want to be the one who dropped the news of their engagement. That was their business to tell.

Keeping my voice quiet now, I pulled Faye and Matt into a giant group hug. “I’m so happy for you two!”

“Gross,” Matt groaned when I left a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t need your Noah slobber all over me.”

Right before I began talking with them, Noah had pulled me into the hallway right outside our bedroom to give me my second birthday present to which we ended up making out against the wall when Matt caught us.

“What is this?” I asked Noah as he placed a black velvet box in my hand.

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest when he motioned towards my hand.

“That’s the whole point of a gift, angel. You need to open it,” he urged me again almost impatiently.

“Alright, alright,” I smacked his hand away when he tried to open it for me.

The box creaked open and I gasped when I saw the silver locket and chain standing out against the black silk it rested on. Angel was engraved on the front of the locket and when I opened it, tears welled in my eyes.

One side had a picture of Noah with Salem and Kuma. On the other side was a picture of my dad.

“Mochi,” I cried while looking up at him. “I-I-.”

Words were foreign, emotions overtaking me from how thoughtful this gift was.

Noah brushed away my tears with his lips, kissing me down to my neck. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N. You wear this and we will always be with you, no matter how near or far.”

His gentle hands worked on clasping the locket behind my neck, resting just above the other necklace he gifted me for my previous birthday.”

"This engagement necklace is so pretty!" I smiled at Faye, holding the necklace between my fingers and adding the correct word now since Matt corrected me a minute ago.

Noah stood behind me, his arms around my waist as I was pulled close into his chest. He'd been so soft and wanted to touch me any chance he could since we woke up this morning, not that I was complaining. It was nice to feel so wanted.

So loved.

His warm breath fanned over my ear. "I love you."

I smiled over my shoulder at him, leaving a tender kiss on his cheek. "I love you more."

Faye's voice brought my attention back to her and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Faye's smile was so wide that it reached her eyes. "I can't believe Matt proposed with the Evenstar necklace!"

My brows furrowed while playing with my locket. "The what now?"

"From Lord of the Rings," Faye answered, like it should have been common knowledge.

I sucked in a breath. "I-uh-never actually seen any of the Lord of The Rings movies."

All noise in the house seized, so eerily quiet you could hear a pin drop and Noah's grip around me loosened so he could stand in front of me now. There was a look of disbelief on his face.

His wasn't the one I was looking at, however. It was Matt who looked like I just ripped out his heart and stomped on it.

"Y/N," Matt held a hand over his chest. "Please tell me you're lying."

"Oh no," I cringed. "Are we not best friends anymore?"

Noah ran a hand over his face. "I cannot believe we've been dating for over a year and I'm just now finding out you've never seen one of my favorite movie series."

I could see the faint smile hiding behind his hand.

"I've never been interested in those movies," I shrugged.

Wrong answer.

An uproar sounded in the house as Noah tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me into the living room. Matt's voice booming behind me.

"Davis! Load them up now. We're having a movie marathon for Y/N's birthday."

Noah pulled me down to the couch with him, immediately wrapping his arms around my midsection to pull me into his chest. I was already warm from drowning in his hoodie and a pair of Hollow Souls joggers so his extra body heat was like a blanket covering both of us. As Davis clicked through Noah’s Fandango account on the television, I glanced over to Jolly who was helping Astrid sit on the couch. All evening he’d been extra attentive to her, constantly asking if she needed anything or keeping a hand on her stomach. She took the glass of water from him with a kiss of thanks just before he sat next to her.

That’s weird. Astrid always has a glass of wine at these get-togethers.

I let out a gasp when the realization hit me and smacked a hand over my mouth so I didn’t catch the attention of the others around me. Noah, however, did catch on and I felt him press a kiss to my cheek.

“They want to tell you, angel. But they’re afraid of how you’ll react.”

Sad eyes stared down at Noah since I was still seated on his lap. “What do you mean? You knew?”

“Jolly told me this morning. He wanted my opinion on how to bring it up to you because of your endometriosis. They don't want to make it seem like they’re rubbing it in,” Noah explained while rubbing my back.

My heart immediately sank to the depths of my stomach, hurt digging into my system but not for the reason others thought. But because my best friends couldn’t tell me they were pregnant without the fear of upsetting me.

Leaving Noah with a kiss, I stood from the couch and extended my hand towards Astrid, who glanced at me with confusion. Jolly’s gaze bounced between us with slight hesitation.

“Don’t worry. I’ll bring her back to you,” I ruffled his hair.

“Where are you going?” Matt asked while pointing to the television. “We’re about to start with the first Hobbit!”

Rolling my eyes at him, I pulled Astrid off of the couch. “Give me five minutes, thotblaster. Then you can strap me down so I have no choice but to watch these movies.”

With my hand in hers, I led Astrid to my art studio and made sure the door was closed behind us. Her white hair with slightly overgrown roots was pulled back into a tight braid and the light behind her eyes was slowly flickering.

“Are you doing alright? I know you wanted to meet up to talk earlier,” I said while we both sat on the couch I had in the room.

Astrid hesitated for a moment, gnawing on her bottom lip and began rubbing her hands up and down on her jeans. “Noah told you?”

“I picked it up on my own. I’m quite perceptive,” I joked with a sly smile before grasping her hands to hold them in my lap. “Astrid, please know you do not have to hide something like this from me in fear of how I’ll react.”

She nodded with wet eyes. “We just found out last night. It wasn’t planned and if I’m being honest, things with Jolly haven’t been great the last few weeks. Part of me is afraid this will push him away more than bring us closer together.”

“I don’t think so. From what I’ve seen tonight, he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you. Come to think of it, Noah’s been acting the same way since he woke up this morning.” I waved her off, getting distracted. “But my point is, you two deserve this. This group needs a little one of us running around. And it being a little mini mix of you and Jolly is a plus.”

Astrid laughed through her tears. “You’re not mad?”

My eyes widened. “Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m fucking ecstatic. I’ve come to terms a long time ago that kids aren’t in the cards for me. This is something both Noah and I have spent many nights coming to terms with. We’re more than alright being the fun uncle and aunt of the group.”

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, almost knowing that deep down my heart was breaking for not being able to have something I desperately wished for.

“In time, you and Noah will find a way to leave your love so it can carry on,” Astrid assured me.

Over her voice, another seemed to speak quietly in my ear; a voice I hadn’t heard in years.

It’s okay.

TAY

With a yawn, I buried myself deeper into the blankets on my bed while browsing through the adoption site on my phone. It was a long day of shopping with Y/N and then her surprise birthday party. The second I stepped foot into my apartment, I made a beeline for the shower and then immediately jumped into bed. Jesse emerged from the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom and turned the light off with a soft click. For a long moment, the dogs that were up for adoption were a forgotten thought as I tracked my eyes over the tattoos that littered Jesse’s bare torso; the ones I spent many nights kissing.

“Like what you see?” He teased while tying back the curls from his face before climbing into bed with me.

“Very much so,” I grinned while plugging in my phone and snuggled closer into his warm chest.

We lay there as a rerun of Ghost Adventures played on the television and I dragged my nail over the tiger tattoo across his stomach.

“Everything alright?” Jesse questioned while brushing his lips over my forehead.

I sighed while giving a limp shrug. “Why do you let me look at dogs for adoption when I cant get one because this stupid apartment doesn’t allow it?”

“Is it the same husky?” His hand dragged up and down my spine, causing shivers to cover my skin.

“Yeah,” I pouted while looking up at him. “She’s all white with bright blue eyes! And her name is Sky. How cool would it be to name her Skyline?!”

He chuckled at my excitement. “It would be cute.”

Kicking my feet in another pout, I buried my face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. The last four months with him had been a whirlwind of emotions. I’d have my fair share of terrible relationships so when we started dating it was like a breath of fresh air. Jesse showed me how I deserved to be treated and if he could, I knew he’d give me the moon and stars in a necklace so I could walk around with them all the time.

My heart beat wildly in my chest when Jesse hooked my leg over his hips to pull me closer to him.

“You’re too far away from me, darlin,” he whispered.

Giggling, I pressed a kiss to his chest. “Can you tell me something so I stop thinking about the poor husky in the cold and dark shelter?”

“What do you want to know?”

Suddenly my head snapped up so I could stare down at him. “Tell me where the hell Mochi came from?”

Jesse sucked in a breath. “Can’t do that. I promised Noah I’d take that to the grave.”

I batted my bright eyes at him while jutting out my bottom lip. “Please?”

Wrapping his arm around me, Jesse hooked his other arm behind his head. “Alright, so it started when Hollow Souls and Bad Omens were touring together a couple years ago.”

NOAH

I bounced on the soles of my feet, excitedly waiting for Y/N to arrive. My one gloved hand was shoved deep in my coat pocket while the other was out as I stared down at the makeup that went into making it look old and wrinkled; along with my face. We never had plans to make a music video for Just Pretend but with how it blew up over night on Tik Tok and we realized how much people love the song, we knew it had to be done.

Just Pretend was mine and Y/N’s song, something that was meant for the two of us. But my mind immediately began to run with ideas on how we could make the music video work for our Concrete Jungle universe. Thankfully, she was on board with the entire idea even though she was a bit worried about her being in the music video with me.

“It’s just your arm and bracelet, angel. No one will see your face.”

“Five minutes, Noah!”

Glancing over my shoulder towards Erik, I nodded. “Y/N’s almost here.”

Erik Rojas nodded with a sly smile before looking back at the computer monitor, going over what we had shot yesterday with the younger couple in the music video. I worked from 8 in the morning to nearly midnight and by the time I got home and crawled into bed next to Y/N, she was fast asleep. This morning, I left even earlier with a kiss to her forehead. For nearly six hours, I sat in a chair so the make up department could age me by sixty years.

Y/N had plans with Matt this morning, something about him needing her for something top secret that not even I knew. When I tried to ask her about it in our earlier texts, she simply sent a gif of someone locking their lips.

“Well, who’s this handsome fellow?”

Turning on my heels, my heart soared into my chest when I saw Y/N walk through the door of the building we were shooting the video in, her usual glow behind her; one that I immediately noticed was muted gray, darkness creeping in.

“Are you alright?” I questioned while cupping her cheek with my gloved hand.

Her face faltered, only for a moment, before she gave me a bright yet forced smile.

“Please don’t lie to me,” I sighed. “What’s wrong?”

Y/N nodded in my grasp. “The endo pain is bad today. But I’ll be okay.”

“Angel,” I sighed while rubbing a thumb just under her eye. “We can reschedule. I don’t want you to force yourself to work.”

“I promise,” Y/N’s finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants to bring me closer to her, resting her chin on my chest while looking up at me. “I’ll be fine. But you know what will help?”

I raised a brow, as best as I could underneath all of the prosthetics. “What’s that?”

“Ice cream on the way home tonight,” her eyes shined.

With a chuckle, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Whatever you want, angel.”

We stayed in this position for a little bit, ignoring everyone around us as they set up the next scene of the music video. Having her in my arms felt like my soul was home��

“So this is what old Noah looks like, huh?” She tapped my wrinkled cheek before scrunching up her face in disgust at the large premade stain of my white shirt. “How bad is it bothering you that you can’t wash that?”

I groaned while letting my eyes shut. “So bad.”

We both shared a laugh as I brought her into my embrace, catching her wrist with my gloved hand. “Did you wear your bracelet?”

Motioning towards her caught wrist, I pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to see the silver chain around her.

“I never take it off, Noah. You know that.”

It was true.

Y/N wore the bracelet and necklace all the time, never taking it off. Even when she showered. She said it was a way to have me with her when I wasn’t.

Holding her close, I breathed in her familiar scent of peaches. “Does this old man get a kiss from his best girl?”

Y/N hummed while stepping on the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss across my lips. It was one that was barely felt, gone before it registered in my brain. She was teasing me because of what I’d done to her this morning. While I was saying goodbye, I brushed my fingers over her slick folds underneath the blanket teasing her clit a few times before slipping out of the bedroom. She fell asleep naked last night, something we both did often. Mostly because of wanting the intimacy of feeling our skin against each other. We rarely did it for anything sexual. Sure there were times we woke up in the middle of the night wanting to be connected but I’d rather have the spiritual connection of having our bodies pressed up against each other.

“Angel,” I began but she was swiftly called over by the make up department, needing to get her ready for her part of the music video.

Giving them a nod, she turned back towards me to ruffle my hair. “I’ll see you in a bit, mochi.”

She slipped through my fingers like a ghost, further creating distance between me; physically and spiritually. Ever since my dreamstate, I’d been feeling this undeniable urge to make sure Y/N knew how much she meant to me. I needed to prove to her that I’d do whatever it took to make sure she was loved and cared for until her last breath.

Not only because of the dreamstate but because of Matt and Faye getting engaged and Jolly and Astrid news of becoming parents soon, it seemed to put my ass in gear. I was done floating along with my relationship. I couldn’t put this off any longer. It was burning a hole in Michael’s top dresser drawer.

“Noah, you ready?” One of the assistants helping out Erik called over to me from his position next to the old chair surrounded by monitors.

“One second,” I said while pulling out my phone and clicking on the ‘House Boy’s’ group chat.

Me: What time is our studio session on Friday?

Michael: We’re booked from 12-5. Think it’ll be enough time?

Me: Should be. We just need to track yours and Y/N’s vocal’s. Chase said we can use their studio to mix everything.

Jesse: I don’t know how you managed to talk Y/N into being a cover on the OST.

I snickered at that, remembering how persistent I was in trying to get her to agree. I’d brought it up to her the other night at dinner when I caught her and Michael singing together. Chief was already a planend feature on the CJ OST but we’d been trying to find a perfect female voice that would match well with Michael’s.

Y/N was apprehensive at first when I asked if she wanted to do it only because we were still pretty private with our relationship, not making it public knowledge yet. But I assured her that we shouldn’t care what people think about that aspect. Hollow Souls being a feature on Bad Omens next album would be huge.

Michael: It’s because I’m just so handsome.

Me: 😒

Jesse: Honestly, that makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

Me: I hate you guys so fucking much.

Michael: That’s a weird way to say I love you.

Jesse: SMOOCHES!

Rolling my eyes at them with a slight chuckle, I pocketed my phone and shifted into work mode by spending the next little while filming my part of the video; finger pressing the button of the remote in my hand and clawing at the tube in my throat. It was pretty easy and went smoothly. By the time I finished, Y/N had returned dressed in a white cardigan sweater and her left arm done with the special effect make-up, her bracelet sparking under the low light of the set as I sat up from the chair.

“I still think we should have aged you by sixty years so we could match,” I joked as she reached me.

“Will you read to me by the ocean when I’m old and gray?” She teased while pulling me closer by my own sweater to press a kiss to my lips.

“Until our last dying breath,” I vowed with all the seriousness in my voice.

Our eyes met in a fiery trance, neither of us wanting to break it first and the longer we stared at each other, I could see the light slowly beginning to ignite behind hers once again.

“Are you ready for your big moment?” I asked as we began walking down the long hallway towards the made up hospital room where Y/N would be.

She snorted while linking our fingers together, hands beginning to sway between us. “All I have to do is lay there while the doctors try to save my life. Just show the bracelet and make sure it looks pretty.”

I pulled us to a stop in the hallway, twirling her around and pulling her into my chest; her laughter echoing all around us.

“That shouldn’t be too hard for you because you’re always pretty,” I winked before capturing her lips into a kiss.

It was slow, both of us taking our time tasting each other, and Y/N hummed into my mouth when my tongue brushed against her bottom lip.

“GET A ROOM!” Bryan’s voice called from down the hall before we heard the rapid clicking of his camera.

Flipping him off, I pressed another kiss to Y/N’s lips and held her close to my chest while looking at Bryan, who snapped another picture of us.

“Cool if I get shots of you in the bed?” He asked Y/N.

She nodded before looking up at me. “Are you all finished for the day?”

“Almost. I just need the shot of me walking down the hallway to your room.”

“Perfect,” Y/N kissed my chin. “I can’t wait for the ice cream.”

She walked away from me but halted, turning swiftly on her feet to face me again. “What movie are we on tonight?”

I chuckled while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my pants. “Two Towers. Matt is going to want to do the extended version.”

Back on her birthday, we watched all three Hobbit movies and last night we watched Fellowship of The Ring together; something Matt made known how upset he was that we watched it without him. So we promised we’d go over to his and Faye’s place tonight to watch the next one.

Y/N rolled her eyes with an over the top sigh. “I guess since he’s my best friend that’s okay.”

Erik popped his head out of the hospital room. “We’re ready for you, Y/N.”

Witha thumbs up, she ran back over to me with a playful smirk. “I can’t get over how good you look.”

She breathed over my lips before pushing away from me and following Erik into the room at the end of the hall.

With a cheeky smile, I walked back towards where I was previously sitting in the chair with the monitors around me. The plan was for me to wake up from my memory core dreaming when the memory of my younger love was dying and follow the doctors down the hall to where old Y/N was laying in the bed dying.

Thank Hades my dreamstate didn’t end up like that.

MICHAEL

“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend.”

Y/N cringed while adjusting the headset over her ears. “Can we maybe turn my voice down? I feel like I might be too loud.”

I nodded while adjusting the necessary buttons before speaking into the microphone that echoed into the recording booth. “Try now.”

Noah sat next to me, watching Y/N with adoration in his eyes as she sang the opening part of Just Pretend again; for the third time. We were in the studio for the last three hours and I finished recording my vocal parts a while ago. Y/N wanted to make sure her vocal take was perfect because this song meant so much to her.

“That shirt looks familiar,” Jolly spoke while motioning towards the shirt Y/N was wearing as he walked into the studio with a tray full of coffees from Fika.

“I haven’t seen her wear the shirt since our zoo day,” Noah said while taking a long sip of his coffee.

How did he not burn his throat?

As Y/N continued to track her vocals, getting lost in the lyrics, I moved my head back and forth while quietly signing it along with her. Matt sat on the other side of me as we both conversed ideas on how to make the track once Y/N was finished. Noah’s knee couldn't stop bouncing as he kept his gaze between his phone and Y/N.

“She sounds really good, huh?” He mused with a goofy smile on his face.

“Y/N and Noah sitting in a recording booth. K-I-S-S-I-. Ow, mother fucker!” I yelled, rubbing my arm after he punched me.

“Noah Sebastian! What have I said about hurting our friends?” Y/N’s yelled at him through the booth.

He pointed to me. “He started it!”

Rolling my eyes, I pressed the button for the microphone in the booth. “Did you want to take a break?”

She shook her head. “I want to do one more run through. I feel like I can get my voice a bit higher.”

Matt nodded while throwing his finger in a circle. “Let’s go for one more run.”

Furious typing out of the corner of my eye made me look over to Noah, who was clearly trying to keep his composure.

“It’s going to be fine, Noah,” I assured him quietly. “You don’t have to worry.”

He looked away from his phone, knee still bouncing with anticipation, and did his best to nod. “I know. It’s just killing me not being there.”

“Jesse told you to trust him. So trust him,” I reminded Noah of our conversation with Jesse this morning.

Noah pinched his eyes shut and let out an aggravated groan. “I still haven't heard from the realtor. I’m freaking out.”

Jolly rested his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “You can’t rush something like this, Noah. You just need to be patient.”

Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch behind me and they were snickering about something which caused me to spin in my chair to face them with a raised brow.

“Something funny love birds?” I teased.

Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head, still snickering about something. “We tried to reassure Noah when we talked to him at Y/N’s birthday that there’s nothing to worry about.”

Malcolm spoke next, bumping his knee with Chase’s. “It’s just funny to see Mochi freaking about little details when we all know she doesn't care about that kind of stuff”

“I swear to god,” Noah grumbled with narrowed eyes. “I fucking hate when you guys call me that.”

Our conversation ceased when the door behind Noah opened, Y/N stepping out of the sound booth.

“What are you guys talking about that have all of you in a serious mood? No one is even paying attention to my record,” she pouted her lips.

Matt raised his hand. “I was paying attention.”

“Kiss ass,” Jolly snorted while handing Y/N her coffee. “Astrid made yours with another shot of espresso.”

She widened her eyes before taking a tentative sip. “Is she trying to keep me up all night or something?”

All of us shared a quick look and then Matt packed up his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Alright, losers. I’m out of here. I’m meeting Faye after she finishes up her shoot with some clients at the pier.”

This caused Y/N to perk up. “Did you remember-?”

Matt waved his hand with a loud shush before ruffling her hair. “I’ll text you later with the details.”

Noah pulled Y/N down to his lap. “You two have been really secretive the last couple of days.”

She tapped his nose. “Not my business to tell, mochi bean.”

We all laughed while waving goodbye to Matt and Jolly, I eased back into my chair while looking at my watch.

“We still have the studio for an hour. Feel confident with what we have?” I asked.

Noah rested a hand on her thigh. “It’s up to you, angel. Bad Omens and Chief got what we needed.”

She glanced over to Chase and Malcolm. “What do you guys think?”

Malcolm tucked a curly piece of auburn hair behind his ear. “I think we got what we needed. But it’s up to you, sweets.”

As the three of them talked, Noah’s glittering gaze lingering on the side of Y/N’s face, I pulled out my phone from my pocket when I felt it vibrate twice.

Jesse Cash: All set.

Jesse Cash: No thanks to me, though. Tay did everything. I was just here to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder.

Letting out a low cough, I got Noah’s attention and gave him a small nod.

He sucked in a large breath before tapping Y/N’s thigh. “Why don’t you give it one more go? Just to make sure it’s perfect. I know how much of a perfectionist you are.”

She rolled her eyes and kissed his forehead. “You’re the one to talk! But you’re right. You don’t mind waiting around for me?”

This is where phase one starts.

“I should get home to let Kuma out. Jesse and Tay have been gone all day, along with us,” Noah said.

Y/N pouted but nodded. “I’ll get a ride home from Michael.”

“No can do. I’ve got a date after this,” I informed.

I didn’t. It was a lie to set up phase two.

“We’ll give you a ride home, sweets,” Chase spoke up.

After she gave Noah a quick kiss, Y/N walked back into the booth leave the four of us alone again.

I pointed to him. “Don’t go snooping.”

“Trust me, I don’t need to know what you have hiding in your dresser,” Noah shivered while gathering his things and blowing a kiss to Y/N.

“Good luck, mochi bean!” Chase called after him.

CHASE

“Oh my god, Chase. Why are you driving so slow!” Y/N whined from the backseat of the car. “I’m tired and want to get home to my boys!”

I tapped my fingers along the steering wheel with the beat from the radio as I slowly glided along the familiar roads leading to her house. We were waiting for a text from Noah giving us the thumbs up and with us being a few blocks away with no text, I had to do whatever I could to buy some time.

“You know, sweets,” Malcolm turned slightly in the passenger seat so he could look back at her when I stilled the car at a red light. “We miss you. We just want to spend some time with you.”

In the rearview mirror, I saw a slight frown pull on Y/N’s lips.

“I miss you guys too,” she sighed. “Maybe next weekend I can spend the weekend at your place. Like old times?”

“We’d like that,” Malcolm said.

I spoke up next, locking eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “We’re proud of you, Y/N. With all the hell you overcame the last couple of years. There were moments we thought we would lose you but you pushed through because you’re strong.”

Her bottom lip trembled as Malcolm continued where I left off. “We love you, sweets. You’re a sister to me and would do anything to keep you safe even if you don’t need us anymore.”

“I do need you guys,” her eyes were wet with tears. “You guys have kept me safe from the start of Hollow Souls. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on because of Trey and when I found myself in that darkness after the hotel room with Noah, you two brought light when I needed it most. I owe you guys my life.”

I rubbed my nose, hoping to hide the sniffle because I didn’t want to show my emotions in front of them. I’d always been the strong one between us three. I needed to be.

A loud horn sounded behind my car causing all three of us to jump so with a breath, I began to drive again, still at the pace from before.

“I can’t believe you guys have me crying,” Y/N chuckled while brushing away her tears.

Malcolm snorted. “You say that like you’re not already a big baby.”

The two of them began to fight in the car which caused me to push away their hands while trying to drive.

“Knock it off kids! Don’t make me turn this car around,” I warned.

Laughter filled the car as a new text came through to Malcolms phone, him peering down at it.

“We’re good,” he mouthed.

Putting a little more weight to my foot, I let the car increase in speed as we reached Y/N’s house in a matter of minutes.

THIRD PERSON POV

Waving goodbye to Chase and Malcolm, Y/N walked up the steps towards the house with her keys in her hand. All of the lights were off which made her pause momentarily because she thought at least Noah was home. When she reached the door, a bright green sticky note caught her eye immediately.

Follow the trail.

A quiet squeal fell from her lips when she realized what was going on. It was like their redo date all over again. The sun was slowly starting to set so she barely had enough light to see the violet petals guiding her to the side of the house where on the gate of the fence was another note.

I'm so afraid that the walls that I have made have locked me in.

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she picked off the sticky note and continued to follow the trail of violet petals into their backyard where she saw yet another sticky note on the shed that housed all of their gardening equipment.

I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out until I let you down? So will you wait me out until I let you down?

The familiar lyrics pulled on her heart strings, having just recorded her version a few hours ago. Just Pretend was her and Noah’s song, a way they can be bound together for the rest of their days. A way to show others how strong their love for one another is.

Yet again following the trail of petals deeper into the back yard, her eyes locked in on a bright green sticky note on the concrete patio.

I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I've gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Soft acoustic notes played throughout the vastness of their backyard causing Y/N to snap her head up from reading the note to see Noah clad in a black sweater, joggers, jacket, and beanie, blending into the growing darkness of the night. However he was illuminated by the bright fairy lights that were connected from tree to tree, basking him in an angelic glow.

He sat on a pillow that was laid on a pile of blankets with a guitar perched in his lap, fingers strumming a few notes before his voice broke through the space between them.

I'm so afraid.

That the walls that I have made have locked me in.

I'm not okay.

But I can try my best to just pretend.

Choking on a breath, Y/N stood a few feet in front of him with her hand grasping at the two necklaces over her original Bad Omens shirt; the one she wore during their zoo day years ago.

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

Noah sang with his eyes shut, finding himself deep within the lyrics. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he was afraid that it would burst through, leaving a bloody mess in front of Y/N. He wanted to give her his heart for the rest of his life just not in that gruesome kind of way.

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I've gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Y/N took four large steps towards Noah and knelt down in front of him on the pile of blankets. There was a roaring fire blazing heat next to them and she saw a bead of sweat drip down the exposed skin of neck peeking through his sweater. Although she couldn’t tell if it was because of the heat or nerves.

I know the pain.

That you hide behind the smile on your face.

And not a day.

Goes by that I don't wish it'd go away.

From the moment he saw Y/N walk off the Hollow Souls tour bus that day a few years ago, he knew she would hold his soul forever. They would be bound by that string that would tug when they were apart or pulsate when they were close by.

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

There were moments Y/N would wake up from nightmares of when she walked out of the hotel room, leaving broken Noah behind. She vowed every time she woke up from one of those nightmares that she would continue to prove to Noah that she deserves him.

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't we just pretend?

Noah shifted a bit in his spot on the blankets and opened his eyes to see Y/N with tears in hers and he desperately wanted to wipe them away. He hated when she would cry. Hell, he hated whenever she was in pain whether it was emotional or physical. When she was dealing with terrible endo pains a few days ago, Noah made her a fort of blankets on the couch with her heating pad and snacks galore. They watched all of her favorite movies all day while he gently rubbed away the cramps from her lower abdomen.

He would do whatever it took to make sure she didn’t live the rest of her days in pain.

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

They both were so lost in the haze of Noah’s angelic voice that Y/N hadn’t noticed the patio door behind her slide open just a hair.

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

As Noah poured out his love for Y/N, memories of their album release party played in his mind. When they were desperate to find each other that night, desperate for their souls to connect as one again while being guided by someone that had been trying to set them up from the beginning.

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't you just.

Y/N was desperate to touch him but was so afraid of breaking him from the trance. She’d never heard this version of Just Pretend and the rawness of the lyrics along with Noah’s vocal’s brought even more tears to her eyes. As Noah sang the last few lines, his eyes opened fully for the first time, immediately locking with hers.

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Both were silent for a long moment, Noah setting the guitar down next to them on the blankets before pulling her into his arms.

“I love you, Y/N,” he proclaimed into her hairline.

She desperately grasped at his sweater, needing to feel him close. “I love you too, Noah. I’ve never heard that version before.”

Pulling away from her a bit, those dark amber eyes peered down at her and brushed away strands of hair from her face. He marveled the way the freckles across her nose seemed to stand out amongst the fairy lights dancing above.

“I wrote it back when we weren’t talking, after that night in the hotel. I was in a dark place and it showed in those lyrics. But now, I feel like you deserve to hear it. I need those lyrics to have new meaning. Something good.”

Their lips collided in a kiss fueled by so much power, it made her nearly falter in Noah’s embrace so he laid Y/N down on the pile of blankets softly. She let herself fall into him, his tongue overpowering hers as he deepened the kiss. His hips pressed into hers causing her to moan into the kiss.

“Noah,” she breathed.

“I love you so fucking much. I need to prove it to you, angel. Please? Will you let me?” He begged while leaving harsh bites along the tender skin across her neck.

Her nails scratched at the ink underneath his sweater. “You have, Noah. You always have.”

Noah’s teeth nipped and sucked at her bottom lip while his hand began to guide her shirt up over her stomach, ready to pull it off of her but a blur of fur nearly toppled over them.

“Oh, fuck. Kuma! Who let you out,” Noah groaned while sitting back on his knees, fixing the beanie on his head that became askew from his make out session with Y/N.

She giggled while still laying on the blanket and peering up at Kuma, scratching at his chin and neck.

“Hi baby. I know I missed you too,” her infectious laughter echoed in the back yard as Kuma pawed at her.

Suddenly her hand brushed up against the new bright teal collar around Kuma’s neck, her gasping before snapping her gaze over towards Noah, who was silent. His eyes were on fire, vibrant with his tears, and a slight smile on his kiss bruised lips.

After shooing Kuma away, Noah pressed himself to Y/N again so he could feel her close as she spoke in his ear. Professing her undying love, support, adoration, and praise. She agreed to Noah’s words, giving him every part of her until her last breath. His hands raked over every inch of her body, tracing it to memory, before sliding the shirt up over her head while she helped him out of his joggers.

That night underneath the fairy lights and Noah’s soft vocals echoed in the air, inking on their skin, their souls merged as one. The invisible string binding them together in a knot so fierce, not even the fire blazing next to them could burn it away.

One look at Y/N eyes and Noah would cave in. One taste of the life they could possibly have together made them both crave it. Both of them were in over their heads when they found each other but now, they knew what they needed. They needed something beautiful to shine through the darkness of their lives. They both needed this miracle.

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