#looK don’t ask about the logistics of a castle sized magic circle

[cryptidcryptic]

Just AA and his consort messing with any slayers or monster hunters who come by thinking his consort was a kidnapped damsel and not his carnivorous co-pilot.

Just grabbing the consort and running off with them into some anti vampire circle that stopped him from getting in (s p e c I f I c a l l y for the vampire ascendant!) just

Slayers: don’t worry! We’ll save you from that vile, brutish beast.

Consort: what handsome brave could you see, thank you my saviours!

AA, through their bond: you can do better then that dear

Consort, on a n20 performance check: oh how vile he was! Every night he drunk from me incessantly! As close to near death as he could get me, and every morning I wake up too sore to move

AA, internal applause: nothing you didn’t beg for💅🏻

Slayer 1: do not fear beautiful damsel this magic circle has been built from the ground up by the lost magic of karthus himself. As long as the arcane lock remains on that door and we have the knowledge we learned from this verry tomb we will never fail-

Consort, casts dispel magic on the arcane loo: that one?

Door opens to Astarion’s smiling face

Slayer 2: why?! Have you been charmed?!

Consort, jumping AAs arms: nope~

Slayer 1: no…it’s way worse..

Slayer1:

They’re co dependant!!!

Cue screams of terror as the couple has their dinner date 🥹