#longing for the sweet oblivion of death

[sourrpatched]

𓉸ྀི l.mk LIKE A VIRGIN

Pairing > Yandere!Lee Mark x Fem!Reader

Genre > Horror (slasher type), Murder Mystery, College frat AU, smut (MDNI), loosely based in late 90s (there may be minor inconsistencies)

Sypnosis > As the fifth year anniversary of what the public coined the 'Vestal Murders' approaches, strange occurrences begin to happen. Leaving the public frightened there may be a copycat killer on the loose, and you worried that he might be there to finish the job.

Warnings > Cursing, drinking, smoking, death, Major character death (but also not really?), SMUT (MDNI), Dry humping, oral sex (f recieving), protected sex (wrap it up yall come on), stalking, Mark is actually crazy just an FYI

Word Count > 13.6k

A/N > This is the first to a series i’m working on for halloween so i hope if u enjoy this you enjoy the others! This is also my first time writing such a long fic and smut so bear with me please.

playlist > Like a Virgin- Madonna, Oblivion- Grimes, Somebody’s watching me- Rockwell

Lucville, October 12th

October was a fun month for most people. There was the official start of fall and of course halloween season. There was no one happier than your friends, you on the other hand were not a fan.

Something about Halloween just gave you the creeps. Which, yes may be its exact purpose, but that didn’t mean you had to like it. Besides, you preferred Spring anyway.

You sat on your desk chair next to your bed, head hanging back as your body laid limp on the seat. Your friend, Yuqi, was sorting through your closet. Well what was left of the clothes in your closet. She had thrown half of your wardrobe onto the floor, searching for the perfect outfit for tonight.

“Do I have to go?” You groaned, “Like really?”

It wasn’t like you to want to go out and party and your friends knew that, which is why tonight was a special occasion.

“Your parents aren’t going to let you stay home alone, considering recent events.”

“I’d say five years ago is hardly recent.”

There was a series of disappearances that led up to Halloween when you were in your early years of high school. It was three different people who happened to live within your town, some even attended the same school as you. It was a small town, yet you wouldn’t have considered yourself close to any of the students, except for one.

Jihoon was one of your older brother, Inhyuk’s longest and closest friends. You remember how they’d always hang out at your house after school playing video games. Jihoon was always so sweet to you, inviting you into their hangouts so you wouldn’t be alone. Even with the four year age gap you couldn’t help but develop a puppy crush on him.

A week had passed since his disappearance, everyone expected that the kids were playing a senior prank and would return shortly, your brother knew differently. He grew more distressed as the days passed. You remember how annoying it was that he wouldn’t allow you to go anywhere without him right by your side.

That protectiveness only got worse when the bodies had been discovered. The TV was playing a re run of IT in honor of Halloween when an emergency news broadcast appeared.

“It appears the bodies of multiple missing persons have been discovered after police received an anonymous report leading to an investigation of Velvet Lake.”

Chills ran down your spine as the names of the kids appeared on screen, Jihoon being one of the three. Your brother had taken it badly, he couldn’t leave his room for months. That’s why as soon as he graduated he took a scholarship across the globe and never came back.

It only made the house emptier. Your father was always traveling abroad on business so he was hardly ever around, and your mother who was a surgeon at S.E.S, the towns local hospital, was working overtime. That left you alone most of the time when you weren’t with your friends.

“I’m not talking about that Virgin killer, i’m talking about those people who were mauled by a bear or something in Melody.”

Melody was the neighboring town to yours closer to the city, and as far as you knew, there wasn’t much wildlife there.

“A bear? How would a bear even be there?”

“How would I know. My dad just said what he saw on today’s paper.” She shrugged pulling a shirt from your closet and bringing it up to your chest.

“It’s not Virgin Killer by the way, it’s Vestal.”

“Same difference. I think this is it by the way.” She motioned her head to the mirror behind you. It was a green and brown tube top with a turtleneck she had chosen for you to wear. It was cropped, exposing your waist down. You’d argue it wasn’t exactly appropriate for the weather but Yuqi never took that into account.

“Perfect.” She smiled and headed back to your closet. “Now we gotta find matching pants.”

“Isn’t it kind of stupid that they’re hosting a party already. Halloween isn’t even til three weeks from now.”

“Y/N you should know already they will throw a party for any reason.” Her voice comes out muffled. You roll your eyes knowing she’s searching the deep depths of your closet.

“What’s the point in that, aren’t parties supposed to be special?”

“Y/N, college parties are an excuse for us to get drunk and have fun. What’s more special than that?”

You trace out the words ‘HELP ME’ on the desk with your finger, whining. “Nothing for me, so do I have to go?”

You’re suddenly hit on the side of your head. You look down at a the floor where a juniper maxi skirt lays on the floor.

“You play this same game every time and end up dragged to the party anyway,” Yuqi bursts, “We’re going. So put those on and stop your bitching.”

You sigh in defeat, grabbing the skirt and beginning to change into the clothes before the sound of the doorbell goes off.

Yuqi lets a breath out. “That’s probably Minnie I’ll go get her. Stay here and don’t try and get away.” She pleads with emphases on ‘ don’t ‘ before leaving your room.

You change into your clothes, staring at yourself in the mirror. The amount of skin showing makes you a bit uncomfortable so you reach for a black leather jacket on the floor from Yuqi’s assault on your closet. You put it on feeling much more content hearing the approaching voices of your friends.

“You should really learn to stop popping up out of nowhere and call before you’re coming over.”

“I paged you guys.” Minnie spoke evidently.

You snicker, “You still carrying yours around?“

She rolls her eyes, “Okay you’re just lucky your mom and dad can afford to get you a cell.”

You shrug.

“It’s getting late, we should get going.” Yuqi says putting her own jacket on. You grab onto her before she can slip out the door.

“And this mess?”

The entire room looked as if it was part of the titanic wreckage. You could hardly see the floor with the piles of clothing covering it. She looks around then at you with an innocent smile. “I’ll help later.”

You take a breath knowing that was a lie, but following your friends out of the house nonetheless.

This better be worth it.

The frat house is about as messy as you would’ve expected. Red solo cups are left on every surface of the house, and you were sure not a single one of them was filled with water. There was a crowd in the living room surrounding a game of foosball between two guys you were sure were on the football team.

At some point your group separated to go meet up with other people. This was exactly why you hated coming to parties. Within a minute of walking through the front door, Yuqi would met up with her drama club friends and Minnie left with some group of stoners. You walked around hoping to find something to drink to pass time.

You walked into the kitchen finding a small trio of familiar faces hovering around the fridge. Two of the three idiots were taunting the youngest while he stood confused. You slowly sneak up and approach them startling them at the sound of your voice.

“You guys some sort of watch dogs for the drinks or?”

“Jesus fuck when did you get here?”

You shrug, gesturing your hands for them to move from the fridge. “Like twenty minutes ago.” You grab a coke out of the fridge and crack it open taking a sip.

“You came alone little fox, or in your usual set?”

You cringed at the nickname used. Johnny, the eldest of the frat, loved to call you that because of how sneaky you were. It wasn’t ever purposely, you just happened to ‘pop up out of nowhere’ sometimes according to others.

“Yuqi and Minnie went to go find their own cliques.”

“And left you to fend for yourself? That’s not good manners.” Yuta was the second eldest although he acted far from it. He and Johnny had been underclass men to your brother when they were in high school so you guys were pretty close.

“Stealing one of Kun’s cokes isn’t well mannered either.” Johnny teased.

“He’ll live.” You say taking another sip.

“You really shouldn’t be wandering around all by yourself y/n, it’s not very safe.” Mark, the youngest chimes in. Mark was in a grade higher than you, you had never been very close with him until a year ago though, seeing as he began to spend time more with your friend group.

He was a quiet type, kept to himself a lot of the time, and was usually the victim of a joke. He was very sweet though. Minnie pointed out that the last frat party you couldn’t attend, he wouldn’t stop asking her about you.

When she told him you were sick he seemed concerned and gave her shit for just leaving you behind. You felt a blush creeping in at the thought of him carrying so much about you.

“Awww why do you care so much about y/n?” Yuta says squeezing the younger’s cheeks. He slaps his hand off of him and Yuta only bursts out laughing.

“He’s right little fox,” Johnny says directed to you. He was always trying to sound wise. “I mean didn’t you notice the way Sungchan has been eyeing you all night?”

You didn’t. Sungchan had hit on you at the last frat party your friends attended in which you respectfully declined. The way the guys were talking though was as if he was some stalker, your skin crawled at the thought.

“You’re just saying that.”

“It’s true. His attention is always on you, even when you’re not paying attention.”

“Let’s face it, she’s never paying attention.” Yuta adds.

“And that’s exactly why you gotta be careful. College men can’t be trusted.”

You scoff, “You do realize you are included in that generalization. College man.”

Yuta pokes Johnny, putting him on the spot. “She got you there.” The eldest only rolls his eyes. Yuta might seem drunk to most people, and maybe he was, but you and your friends knew he was just the playful type.

“I think Johnny is right, especially around this season. You never know what could happen.” Mark’s sentence trails off.

“Oh chills,” Yuta says raising his arm, “You gave me chills Mark. You’re talking about that Virgin taker right?”

Johnny’s eyebrows furrow, “I don’t think that’s the name.”

“Whatever you know what I mean. He slaughtered all those puritans didn’t he?”

“A little insensitive don’t you think?”

“What? You mad he couldn’t take yours too?” He replies with a wink and sip of his beer. You take it back, he was definitely drunk.

This time you let out a giggle, it was always fun being around these idiots. “Vestal. Can’t believe i’ve had to correct two people on that today.” You shake your head.

“Who was the first?” Mark asks curiously.

“Yuqi, speaking of, I should probably start looking for her. I’m ready to bounce.”

“I thought I saw she left out earlier with some girl with short hair?”

“Great. So she left me and Minnie to get laid.” You say sarcastically.

Johnny clicks his tongue. “You must’ve broken a mirror, little fox. Minnie left out with the boys to go get some food. Munchies, you know.”

You groan, sinking your head into your hand. “They drag me here for no reason. Okay i’m leaving now, i’ll see you guys when I do.”

“You walking alone?” Mark‘s voice comes out full of concern.

You shrug. “Seems like it.”

“I can walk you home if you don’t mind?” He suggests.

“Thank you, but really It’s okay.” You’re already heading towards the door, throwing your empty can in the trash when you hear Yuta’s voice.

“Careful Y/N, don’t let the virgin killer get ya.”

You keep your sight forward, flicking him off as you leave.

You walk through your front door, sliding the locks on instantly. Your shoulders drop, the stress leaving your body. Walking home alone was what you did regularly, only this time it felt different. It felt like someone was accompanying you, even if it was only you walking your regular route home.

The fifteen minutes felt longer than usual but that could’ve rang true since you stopped a few times to look around swearing you could feel eyes on you. That’s why as soon as you got home you turned on all of the lights in your home.

Stupid Yuta. He was always saying something to put you on edge.

You turn on the TV and are shocked to find that the news is still on.

“Due to a power outage the following locations have been left with no power over sixty percent of people are left with no clue on when it will be repaired. Schools and Universities have decided to postpone classes for the time being. People are outraged, some believing this upcoming blood moon could be the reasoning for the power outages.”

The list of cities and towns comes up. Melody, Lucville, Graze town , and 0 mile.

Lucville. That couldn’t be right, you had power right now. The phone rings loudly from the kitchen, pulling you from your thoughts. You get up to check, walking to the counter and pulling the phone to your ear.

“Hell–”

“Did you hear??? The campus closed down cause of some weird power thing, it’s not coming back til November.” Yuqi’s voice cuts yours off.

“I did yeah but that doesn’t make any sense,” You object, “my power’s working.”

“Yeah it’s only effecting places like the police stations and schools, some hospitals too. Don’t read too much into it just be happy we have no classes.”

“Yeah I guess you’re right.”

“I gotta go now, my bed calls me. I only called to make sure you got home. Minnie told me you left alone.”

“The bed or the person in it,” You hear her squeak like she’d been caught. “Don’t forget you owe me a clean room.”

“I’ll get to it tomorrow, promise.”

“Whatever.” You hang up.

At that moment you hear a knock at the front door. You check the time. 1:40am. Weird, your mom was held up at work and your father was still out of town. You walk over to the front door checking the peep hole and seeing nothing.

That’s strange.

You unlock the door and open it, looking around the area. It was just an empty street, not a single light was on from any house. You close the door guessing it could’ve been from the TV, when the phone rings again.

You walk over to the kitchen grabbing the phone. “Hello?”

You’re met with silence.

You scoff, “Yuta? If this is your idea of a prank you should really move on. Everyone’s seen Scream by now.” You hang up.

Even though you were very sure it was just Yuta who was prank calling, you can’t help but feel a shiver run down your spine. You reach up over the counter opening the cabinet to grab a glass when the phone rings again.

You jump, the glass dropping from your finger tips and crashing into the ground. You groan, carefully crossing the glass without stepping in it and reaching for the phone.

“Yuta I swear to god the next time I see you, you better have a jockstrap on!” You shout before being cut off.

“Woah y/n are you okay?”

You sigh in relief. “Mark?”

“Yeah, I was calling to make sure you got home safe. Is something wrong?”

“It’s nothing, just got a bit spooked with a call earlier.”

“I’m guessing Yuta?”

“Ding Ding Ding. Guess i’m victim to his little halloween pranks.”

“I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Don’t bother, I can handle him.”

“I’m sure you can,” He chuckles, “Jockstrap?”

“It’s a clear warning in case he does want kids in the future.”

You can hear his smile through the phone, it helps ease your mind. “Assuming he doesn’t already have some running around?”

You let out a chuckle. “You’re right. He’ll be fine without any more.”

The laugh he lets out is contagious. “I gotta clean up a bit here, i’m glad you called though.” You meant it.

“Of course, wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. Who else would keep the guys in check?”

You can’t help the blush that fills your cheeks. “Bye, Mark.”

“I’ll see you later y/n.” The call ends.

You quickly clean up the mess before heading back into your brother’s old room to sleep. It was completely empty save for the TV left on a counter and a loan poster of Madonna on the wall.

You turn off the lights hoping to god you will make tomorrow’s morning shift at the diner.

It was about thirty minutes left of your shift before you were finally free. You rubbed your face to keep yourself awake. It was Monday morning shift and usually they weren’t that busy, but since classes were all canceled for the next week, you noticed a lot more students came to the diner.

You worked at Salty & Sweet Diner for over a year already. It gave you something to do when you weren’t at school so you wouldn’t have to spend all your time at home by yourself. It also gave you money you could use to go out with friends instead of depending on your parents.

“Looking terrible y/n.” The man who is next in line looks up at you with a mocking smile.

“As do you, What can I get for you today YangYang? Same as usual?”

He nodded, “Extra whipped cream don’t forget it.”

You write down his order on a notepad. “And you?”

“Are you on the menu?” Jaehyun jokes.

“Limited time only and you just missed it.”

Jaehyun and YangYang were usually in the frat basement getting high when they weren’t attending classes, so their presence today was surprising.

“The guys should be getting here soon.” Jaehyun comments, “Something about it being your shift so we should come over to annoy you?”

“I thought I mentioned if i see any of you in here i’ll have my manager ban you guys.”

“Nice try, Your manager was busy last night getting high with us.” YangYang points his finger at Minnie, who’s counting the register behind you.

The diner was owned by Minnie’s parents which is how you landed the job in the first place. You were great full most times, but not now. At that moment the door rings signaling another customer coming. You can spot the idiot from miles away.

“Y/N, how are you did you miss me?” He says enthusiastically. You roll your eyes.

“I wouldn’t even miss you if you died.”

“Ouch.” He grabs at his chest dramatically. Before you can berate him you’re cut off by the familiar, comforting voice.

“Hey y/n, how’s your shift going?” Mark says, his attention fixed onto you.

“It’s fine. What are you doing here?” You respond shyly.

“The guys wanted to annoy you but I only came to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m okay.” You could feel the awkwardness radiating off of your body.

“That’s good,” He clears his throat. “So, the guys were actually going to host another party this weekend. I was wondering if It’ll be okay if i keep my hopes up to see you.”

You wait a second before responding. “I can’t confirm whether you will be disappointed or not.” He nods at your answer when a voice cuts into your conversation.

“You won’t be. She will be there.” Minnie’s voice rings out.

You look at her, eyes wide. She only gives a tight smile. It’s her signature ‘Don’t even try it’ look.

Yuta speaks this time, “Great, so i’m guessing you will all three be there?”

“You guessed correctly.” She grins, “I’ll let Yuqi know about it. Y/N you can go now.”

“My shift isn’t over?”

“Yeah well I’m sure Hyungseo has no problem covering your shift for you.”

“Who‘s Hyungseo?” Yuta asks teasingly.

“The chef who can’t keep his eyes off of our little Y/N here,” Minnie winks at you. “Go on now Y/n, you can go.”

You give her a look before heading to the back to change out of your apron. Before you’re completely out of sight you can hear the group tease the youngest.

“You’re as red as Minnie’s old wash cloth right now.”

“Hey man knock it off.” Minnie replies.

Mark can only turn away, “I’m heading to the restroom.”

On your way out, a voice stops you in your tracks. Sungchan sits in his seat, a milkshake in front of him.

“Sungchan, i’m off the clock if you needed something I could let Minnie know.”

“Huh?” He turns his head to his drink realizing what it looks like to you, “No actually I just wanted to ask you.” He trails off his sentence. You stand there confused waiting for him to continue. “You’re going to be at Yuta’s party right?”

“I don’t really have a choice.”

His laughter is strained, “Well I was wondering if I see you there, would you want to–“

His voice is cut off by the yelling coming from where your group of friends stand. You see that two of the boys have decided to try and race to see who can finish their milkshake first, glad you clocked out before having to deal with that.

“Yeah i’ll see you there,” You say to Sungchan, leaving him to his drink. “I gotta go, enjoy your food.”

He nods giving you a small smile, “Bye Y/N.”

Once you’re home you can’t wait but head straight to the shower. You set the water to warm before stripping and standing directly under the stream of water. The warmth hits you and you let out a sigh, letting the water run down your body and soak into your hair.

Minutes pass of silence, the only sound being the running water. Your eyes are closed as you begin rinsing the remaining shampoo in your hair. You hear the faintest tap of the door, opening your eyes in an instant.

You turn the facet off stepping out of the shower and grabbing your towel, only now realizing your clothes weren’t there.

I swear I brought clothes?

Your heart drops as you begin to hear muffled voices coming from your house. You stand frozen in front of the bathroom door. You can hear your heart thumping as if it’s directly in your ears.

After moments of contemplating you choose to open the door. You follow the voices that are coming from the living room. The TV is on.

“Parents stand here today at the memorial sight with flowers and candles to honor the upcoming five year anniversary of the Vestal Murderer’s victims. The victims–“

You turn off the TV, deciding to ignore it and head back into your room to change into a pajama set.

October 19th

This party is boring. You had chosen to stick by Minnie’s side after experiencing the weirdest phenomenons for the past week. You had about three other times items had been misplaced in your home. You were slowly growing more agitated than anything, so when Minnie suggested you join them in their smoke session you didn’t decline.

You sat in between Minnie and YangYang, opting out of smoking after a single rotation. You weren’t a smoker so three puffs and one coughing fit later you were done for the night.

Your friends sat in a circle, recounting stories to one another. You couldn’t really focus on anything but keeping your eyes open though.

There’s a knock at the door, pulling your attention from the cup in your hands and towards the sound. Jaehyun gets up to get the door, speaking to the man on the other side with a hushed voice. It’s only when you lean to the side that you notice it’s Mark.

You turn over to Minnie by your side, tapping her shoulder to get her attention.

“I want to go get another drink.” Minnie nods her head, letting YangYang know she’s gonna be right back. You both sit up heading towards the door where Jaehyun looks annoyed.

“Is something wrong?” Minnie asks, inserting herself into their conversation.

“Just Johnny stealing our room for the night. He needs some ‘privacy’ for that girl he brought over.” He says rolling his eyes.

You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, it was funny that he was so bothered by something you knew for a fact he was very guilty of.

“You mad you couldn’t book it first?” Minnie jokes.

“Y/N, I thought you left?” Mark questions.

“No, well I was but then Minnie invited me up so,” You let out a breath motioning your hands to the room. “I’m here.”

You can hear laughter from Jaehyun and Minnie who find your current condition hilarious. It only makes you join their cackling. Mark stays watching the three of you very confused.

“Right,” He says slowly. “You guys are leaving now?”

“Just getting a refill.” Minnie brings her cup up showing the emptiness of it.

“You guys getting more drinks? Get me a–“

“Get it yourself.” You knock down Jaehyun before he can finish his sentence. He frowns. “Come on Minnie.” She follows you out the door, leaving the two boys to their own conversation.

You and Minnie stand in the kitchen, well Minnie stands. You’re sat on the counter as she searches the cabinets for more booze. You look over to the living room where you see a mix of unfamiliar and familiar faces engage in a game of Cup Pong.

“Here,” Minnie grabs your attention, handing your cup back to you. You grab it and take a sip, frowning at the taste. “It’s water. God knows you need it.”

You take another sip, setting it down on the counter afterwards. “Thanks.”

“You heard earlier right?” She says, taking a drink out of her own. You cock your head to the side, not picking up what she’s saying. “Siwon was asking what I was doing later tonight and if i wanted to ‘hang’.” She adds quotation marks with her fingers.

If you had the water in your hands you were very sure it would’ve spilled everywhere. “You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was.” Her face full of disgust.

“I too, wish you were.” Yuqi adds from behind you. You jump at her sudden appearance. “When did you get here?”

“Just now. Which reminds me,” She brings herself up onto the counter leaning in to the two of you. “You know that high school kid I told you guys about who joined our club, Minjae?” You both nodded. “He tried putting moves on me.”

Minnie chokes on her drink. Yuqi immediately hitting her back to help her catch her breath. “What the hell is wrong with you.”

“Right now?” You question in disbelief.

“While you two were busy getting stoned.”

Minnie lets out one last cough, “What did you say?”

“Of course not. That’s a kid, I want nothing to do with that.” Yuqi says almost offended that Minnie even had to ask.

“You were a high schooler when you hit on Soyeon.”

“Well yeah, but that’s different. Me and Soyeon were only a year apart. He’s like two years younger.”

Minnie shrugs, “You’re just scared he’s going to get attached if you take his V-Card like you did with Soyeon.”

“Hey,” She hits Minnie’s shoulder, “Next time i’ll let you choke.”

“You remember how you were, puppy eyes always following her around.” Minnie says bringing fists to her cheeks. “You were so cute before you chose to become a heartbreaker.”

Yuqi hits Minnie’s hands off of her. “Do you have a death wish?”

“Ah you’re so mean now.” Minnie whines, “Y/N, when you finally get to bed don’t become like Yuqi.”

“As if that would happen any time soon, guys aren’t exactly all over me. Besides, I want it to be special.” You say bringing your arms to your chest.

Yuqi makes a face at Minnie. The girls sharing a glance you aren’t able to understand.

“What?” You press.

“Don’t worry about guys not being interested in you, worry about the guard dog of yours keeping them from approaching.” Minnie speaks as if it’s an obvious answer.

“What do you mean?”

Before you can press any further a figure approaches your circle. “You guys okay?”

“Never better.” Yuqi smiles, hopping off of the counter.

You face where mark stands. You weren’t able to really take in his appearance earlier but now that he was leaning on the counter, you were able to dissect him as if he were a test subject on a science lab table.

You thought the water was helping sober you up but apparently not enough with the way your brain was making up horrible comparisons.

You couldn’t help the blush on your face as you noticed the outline of muscles on the man’s forearms. He wasn’t even flexing and they were still apparent.

His plain white tee didn’t stop your brain from what your friends would call ‘eye fucking’ the man in front of you. It fit him like a glove, capturing his broad shoulders and his chest the way you wish you could.

“You okay y/n?” He spoke, pulling you out of your trance.

“Uhh, yeah.” You turn to where your friends are smirking at you, reading you easily. “What were we talking about?”

“How it’s pretty late and you should get home soon.”

“And how Mark should probably take you back home.” Minnie adds smoothly.

“Would you be okay with that?” Mark looks over to you.

There’s a brief silence as everyone waits for your answer. You give a tight smile, “Sure.”

“Great, well we have to go.” Yuqi says pulling Minnie with her out of the kitchen, “See you tomorrow Y/N!”

You were lucky the man in front of you was so oblivious to your friend’s actions. You put your arms down to help get you off of the counter the way Yuqi did earlier. A pair of hands find their way around your waist before you can.

“Here let me help you.” Mark pulls you off the counter with no struggle. You can’t help the warmth creeping in your stomach from his grip around you.

“Thanks.” You say, his hands leaving your waist as you stand steady on your own feet. You hope he doesn’t notice the way you can’t look him in the eye. “Let’s go.”

The cool autumn air was enough to sober you up if only by a little. Mark walked silently beside you noticing the way you wrapped your arms around yourself trying to keep warm. You’re too busy thinking about how much longer this walk will be when you feel hands wrapping around your shoulder.

“You were shivering.” He says leaving his jacket on you.

“Thanks.” You mumble, feeling instant relief from the cool air.

You can smell a hint of vanilla on it, his signature cologne. You smile silently to yourself bringing your hands to your mouth to warm them, and to keep him from noticing the faint pink in your cheeks.

“I’m glad I can walk you home, I was a bit worried last time you answered the call sounding panicked.”

You recall the memory. He did sound a bit startled through the phone. “I’m okay, i’m glad you get to walk me home anyway.”

There’s another round of silence. You notice your street in the distance, trying to come up with what to say. He speaks before you’re able to utter a word.

“You look really pretty tonight by the way.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. He realizes how his sentence came off, backtracking his earlier statement. “You always look pretty I mean. I just– You really suit my jacket.”

“I don’t know if I should thank you for the jacket or the compliment.”

“You don’t have to thank me at all, i’m only stating the obvious.”

You look up smiling at him which feels so easy to do whenever he’s around. You notice the beauty marks all over his face and neck, wishing you could analyze them closer.

“That’s my place over there.” You break the silence pointing over to your house. He looks to you, “I’m glad you have arrived safely.”

“I’m glad you could bring me.”

You both are standing face to face for a moment, observing each other and waiting for someone to make the first move. He speaks first.

“I don’t want to hold you in the cold for any longer.”

You reach to take off his jacket, “Oh, here’s your–“

“No need,” he cuts you off. “You pull it off better than I ever have.”

“I beg to differ.” You’re hoping he can take a hint. “But I guess once I wear another clothing item of yours we can see who pulls off your clothes better.”

“Feel free to invite yourself over anytime for access to my wardrobe.”

“Or I can pull this one off you now?” You joke, pulling him closer by his shirt. You’re unsure where your sudden boldness is coming from, perhaps you weren’t completely sober after all.

He leans in closer, staring into your eyes and shifting his gaze to your lips. He was definitely not as dense as you thought. You lean in closer, his fingers grazing your lips.

A sudden noise pulls you guys apart from each other. You look to the ground, embarrassed by how brazen you came off. He reaches into his pocket, grabbing his pager and reading off a message.

“Do you need to go already?”

He lets out heavy sigh as if he was disappointed in the distraction, “Yeah, that was Yuta he wants for me to stay over the night.”

You’re shocked, always having assumed he had stayed with the rest of the frat members. “Oh, I thought you lived there?”

“No, My parents actually got me a place here for my studies so it’s just me.”

“I see, it’s the same for me.” You point again at your home. “Thank you for walking me, please make sure you get back safely.”

“My pleasure, have a nice night Y/N.” He waves his hand as you begin walking towards your home.

“Ditto.” You shout out loud enough for him to hear you as you walk up to your home pulling your key out.

“What did you do!” You let out a gut wrenching scream. The entire floor was painted red, you look down and notice your hands full of blood.

You jump out of your nightmare, sweat lining your body. The house is silent, your alarm clock emitting a red gleam. It reads 4:26am.

You sit in bed rubbing the last of the tiredness in your eyes deciding it’d better to keep yourself awake for a while longer. You get up heading towards your kitchen to grab a glass of water.

As you reach the kitchen you decide to turn the TV on to calm your nerves for the time being. The news is on again. You take a sip out of your water paying half a mind to what is being reported.

“It’s been 48 hours since the disappearance of Jung Sungchan, his parents report he was last seen on October 17.”

Sungchan? He had said he would go to the party when you last saw him just a few days ago. You think back realizing you hadn’t seen him at all tonight. You feel your heart sink, placing your glass down and running to your house phone.

“Hello?” Minnie’s voice comes out hoarse. You can tell you’d just woken her from her sleep but you’re too startled to apologize.

“Sungchan is missing.”

“Huh?”

“He’s gone I just saw on the news they said it’s been days. I’m freaking out I just talked to him on Monday this has to be a joke right?”

“Y/N–“ You can barely hear her over your panicked thoughts.

“This is happening all over again, they’re saying it’s him again.”

You feel your eyes begin to water, “There’s been weird things happening, I hear knocks and my TV turns on all the time for no reason.” “Y/N.”

“Minnie, He was so close before,” You take a breath, “What if I’m next?”

“Y/N!” She yells out causing you to jump. “Relax, you’re okay. Nothing is going to happen.”

You don’t say anything so she continues, “I’m pretty sure I saw Sungchan after you left with Mark okay? Also, those knocks are probably just neighborhood kids. Remember when you said they’d always egg your neighbors around halloween?”

You let out a breath, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“See so there’s nothing to worry about, it’s all in your head cause Yuta kept saying shit. You’re okay and nothing going to happen.”

You realize how stupid you might’ve sounded now. Minnie was right, nothing was wrong until Yuta put all of that into your head. You’re just overthinking it.

“Thank you.” You let out softly.

She gives a sound of acknowledgment, “You know if you ever feel scared, my house is always open to you.”

“It’s fine I think I was just paranoid but i’m okay now.”

“Well just letting you know. Do you want to stay on the phone?”

“No it’s okay, i’ll let you get back to sleep.”

“Make sure you’re getting some sleep too alright?” She yawns. “God knows we need it for tomorrow.”

“Oh crap.” You had forgotten about the annual fundraiser held at the frat house. It was meant to raise money for the victims families of the Vestal Murders. You and your friends had promised to be there. “It totally slipped my mind.”

“If you can’t go don’t sweat it, you have a lot on your plate anyway.”

“No, i’ll be there.”

“Okay well I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Y/N.”

“Night.”

October 20th

After a day of setting up different games for the fundraiser you were able to sit and relax. Yuqi, who’s sitting beside you passes a bottle of coke to you.

“Thanks.” You reply, taking a sip of the drink and setting it down.

“Can’t believe we had to help set up, i just want to go home.”

You give a wry smile, “Yeah i’m pretty exhausted, had a tough time sleeping.” She’s about to respond when someone calls her from the distance. “I’m going!” She turns to face you, “Go, we’re done here anyway.”

She walks away meeting with YangYang at the steps of the house. You close your eyes lying back against the couch you’re on. You can hear voices around you but don’t try enough to make out what they’re all talking about. Footsteps approach you, you open your eyes to see who it is.

“The games haven’t even began and you’re tired already?”

Mark is standing above you, you take in the fitted black shirt he has on. You admire the turtleneck he has on, it really fits him even though it covered his neck moles you loved to stare at.

“I’m only resting, it’s been a long day.”

He hums, taking a seat beside you. “Then i’ll join you, you can use me as a pillow if you’d like.”

You take his offer, lying your head on his shoulder which is much more comfortable than the couch if you were being honest. You close your eyes and feel his hand start to play with your hair, purring at the feeling.

“Yo, you guys gonna just sit there or you wanna join?” Johnny shouts to you and Mark.

You look up at him, still resting your head on him. His face is so close you pull away and get up. “We’re going.” He follows behind you.

You can see a few of your friends lined up to play apple bobbing. You remember how you played once when you were younger, you freaked out and inhaled the water. Inhyuk had to pull you out to stop you from choking.

“You wanna play?” Yuta says, smirking at the two of you.

“Uh I’m good.” You say, looking up at Mark.

“Come on, show them how you use that mouth of yours.” Minnie winks at you from in line.

You shove into her with your forearm, she laughs it off. “Really I’m okay, Mark?”

“Actually mind if I show you something instead?”

“Ohhh, he’s going to show you what his mouth can do.” Yuta mocks, this time he earns a shove from Mark.

You give her a scornful look, “Sure let’s go.”

He holds your hand pulling you from behind him, leading the way. You guys walk past the crowds of people, making your way through the house. You realize he’s taking you to the basement so you speak up.

“Didn’t know you were a smoker, Lee.”

He chuckles, “Not quite.” You both are still hand in hand when he takes you to a corner room in the basement that you hadn’t noticed before.

“What’s this?”

“You’ll see,” He opens the door revealing a room filled with Halloween candy and a blanket on the floor. You look around noticing the TV in the room with VHS tapes of different movies laid out on the floor. “Do you like it?”

You look up at Mark seeing how he’s awaiting your answer. You pull him in for a hug, squealing in delight.

“This is so sweet.”

“Minnie told me you had been having a rough time, thought this might cheer you up.” He smiles, “Did it work?”

“It did more than work. Mark, thank you.” You look up at him, holding his gaze for a moment. You’re both only an inch from each other, you look at his lips wondering how soft they’d feel on yours.

His voice comes out rough, “We should watch a movie, yeah?” though he makes no effort to step away from you.

You take a look at him, his eyes won’t leave your mouth so you move in closer. “We can always watch later.”

He lets out a chuckle before pulling you in for a kiss. His lips feel so soft on yours, it’s everything and more than you had imagined. It’s rough and possessive, stealing your breath right from your mouth.

He bites onto your lip earning a moan from your lips, you pull away embarrassed by the noise you’d let out. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I did that.”

He lets out a breathless laugh, “Don’t apologize, I love those sounds from you.” He pulls you in again, the kiss becoming even heavier than before.

You can feel his tongue trace the bottom of your lips asking permission to deepen the kiss. You accept, beginning to explore his own mouth. You bite his lip, earning a groan from him, you thought that might be the sexiest noise you’d ever heard before.

He grabs onto your cheek with one hand and your waist with the other. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so perfect you know that?” You can barely respond before he begins to pull you in once more.

“Mark,” You plead breathlessly, pulling away from him. “I need to tell you something.”

He hums, beginning to kiss down your neck. You squirm at the feeling. “I haven’t– Fuck. I’ve never done this before.”

He slowly pulls away from you, confusion evident on his face. “Oh.” He can tell how embarrassed you feel admitting it so he adds promptly. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m not going to force you to do anything I just thought a movie would be nice.”

You find his distressed state amusing, “I– yeah that’s fine.”

He smiles, about to put a movie in when you hear a knock from the door.

“Y/N, we gotta go. Yuqi’s parents want her home already.” Minnie appears at the door.

You nod remembering the plans you guys had made to hang out after the fundraiser. Fuck, you wished you could stay with Mark for longer, especially considering how much effort he’d put into spending time with you.

“Yeah, okay i’ll be right there.” You say a little breathlessly, hoping she doesn’t notice it. She gives you an all knowing smile as she closes the door, “Be quick.”

You frown at the fact that you have to leave early, Mark quickly comes to your defense. “Hey it’s okay, we can save it for next time.” He puts his hands on your shoulder pulling you for a hug.

“I wish I didn’t have to leave.” You pout.

He laughs, finding you adorable. “I wish you didn’t have to go either, but we have plenty of time together, right?”

You nod, “Right. I’ll see you next time okay?”

“Get home safely y/n.” You head for the door before stopping in your tracks and turning around. Mark looks confused until you pull him in once more for a short and sweet kiss.

“Goodbye Mark.” You say pulling away and leaving out the door.

“Naughty naughty girl, y/n.” Minnie tsks, tapping her finger over your head.

You push her hand away. “Shut up, let’s go.”

She laughs following you close behind.

“I still don’t know why my parents felt the need to be party poopers, they could’ve asked the neighbor to feed that damn dog.” Yuqi complains.

Minnie gasps, “I love Haku!”

“Whatever, Oh there it is!” Yuqi, says pointing down at Phantom Halloween Store.

Your friends race down to get there first, you choose to continue walking instead. There’s a TV store to the right showing a news report.

“There’s been yet another disappearance reported since a body was discovered earlier today. Police have not made a comment on the identity of the individual or what another disappearance could mean for the town of Lucville. The public demands answers. Could it be possible that the Vestal Murderer is back for another halloween or a copy cat killer has taken his place?”

“Y/N!” Yuqi’s voice calls after you from ahead. “You coming?”

You choose to ignore the rest of the report, “Im going!”

“I think this would look great on you.”

“Cat Woman?” Minnie raises her eyebrow.

“You’d look really sexy, that’s what halloweens all about, right y/n!”

“Exactly, come on Minnie, you gonna finally try and get the attention of Yuta?”

She scowls at the both of you, snatching the suit out of Yuqi’s hands. “I’m trying it on, that’s all. No promises.”

“Yesh right, you’ll rock it anyway.” You both tease her as she steps into the dressing room.

“So y/n, what are you dressing as?” Yuqi asks.

“I don’t know i’ll probably just dress as is.”

She looks as if you ate her dog, “It’s halloween. A costume is a must. No ifs or buts!”

“You think rhyming is going to help me change my mind?” You raise an eyebrow at her, minding your business looking through the masks.

“What about Mark,” You stop in your tracks, feigning a cough. “What about him?”

“Don’t you wanna do more than just make out in the basement of a frat house?”

You roll your eyes, “Minnie told you.”

“Yeah well i’m offended you didn’t!” She retorts. “If you want to impress him then you have got to dress up.”

You sigh, halloween costumes weren’t really your thing, but you didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb being the only one not dressed up.

Yuqi smirks knowing she’s got to you. “Who knows,” she shrugs, “Maybe he will end up killing your virginity.”

Your ears go red, “Yuqi!” Her eyes go wide, stepping away from you. “Why are you so loud! Do you know how embarrassing you are?”

“Please spare me okay!” She yelps as you grab onto her shirt.

“Wow y/n I didn’t take you for a bully.” Johnny’s deep voice sounds from behind you both. You let go of Yuqi, allowing for her to fix her shirt.

“You make it a habit of stalking us?”

“Ah yes, cause we came here purely to track your group of friends down.” Yuta remarks sarcastically, “A halloween store, when it’s is less than a week away.”

“We came here to look for some last minute decorations.” Mark comments before you and Yuta can begin your bickering.

“We’re here for costumes, Y/N here has got the perfect one planned.” Yuqi states, her arm sneaking around your shoulder.

“Really? What is it?” Mark looks to you.

“It’s a surprise!” Yuqi squeaks out. You’re thankful for it because you wouldn’t have known what to say at all.

“Good, you should show us at the Halloween party we’re throwing this weekend.” Johnny utters, reaching into his pocket. He pulls an invitation flier to the party, passing it to you. “It’s a costume party so make sure you’re all there.”

“All of you.” Yuta adds, “Speaking of, where’s your third?”

At that moment Minnie walks out of the dressing room. The latex suit wraps around her body hugging her figure, the mask is on too bringing out her natural cat eyes, and in her hand she grips a whip as a signature weapon.

“So do you guys think–“ the words die on her tongue. She freezes looking at the group in front of her, one of them being Yuta.

“You wanna be my dominatrix Minnie?” Yuta jests.

She turns red at his comment and closes the dressing room door, hiding behind it.

“We’ll be there.” You say.

October 30th

It felt like Halloween had came early, there were piles of candies and treats left all over the kitchen counter as well as a punch bowl you were eighty percent sure was spiked. The blood moon stood bright in the night and true its name, painting the dark sky red.

You had just arrived no longer than ten minutes ago and your friends had already happened to disappear out of sight. You made your way to the counter grabbing a red solo cup to serve yourself the blood colored punch.

“You actually want to drink that?” Mark’s voice startles you, causing you to drop the ladle back into the punch.

“Well I guess not.”

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d get scared.” He says, his hands going up in defense.

“It’s fine, i’ll just take a beer.” You reach for the refrigerator.

“You look beautiful,” He states, “Carrie right?”

You look down at the silk champagne colored dress you have on. “Yeah, did the crown give it away?”

“More so the blood on the costume but the crown too.”

You let out a giggle, “And you, Michael Myers?” You say almost as a question.

“Ding Ding Ding! I had my mask earlier but Yuta insisted on letting him borrow it for the time being, something about prancing the neighborhood kids?”

“Wow, he really is a menace. Is it bad i’m glad i’m not the target of his pranks though?”

He laughs, “I mean it is trick or treat right? The kids shouldn’t be that mad.”

You smile at him, he was always so playful with his words. You felt as if he understood you in ways not any other person could. You couldn’t stop your mind from remembering the kiss you both shared not too long ago.

He opened his mouth but no words came out. You felt a surge of boldness in the moment so you decided to speak for him.

“So Mark Myers, you wanna head back to the basement and finish what we started?”

You never could get used to the way he kissed you. He was always so quiet it was shocking to see this side of him. The one that was almost starving for your lips.

You sat on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, his hands gripping your hips on him. You pulled away to take a breath, his lips attaching themselves to your throat.

“Fuck– Mark.” You groan, his mouth beginning to sprinkle bruises all over your neck. He kisses behind your ear, causing you to involuntarily grind your hips down.

He gasps at the sudden contact, “You’re driving me crazy.”

You let out a moan, continuing to grind your hips down.

You whine, the fabric in between you both making it hard for you to feel relief.

“Y/N baby,” He stops your movements with his hands on your hips. “ I don’t want to push you to do anything but you’re really making it hard.”

“You’re not pushing anything. I want this, I want you.”

“Fuck– I can’t hold you back.”

“Then don’t.” You say, pulling him in for another deep kiss. He kisses into your mouth, his tongue exploring you. You moan into the kiss beginning to build up the pace of your hips, his bulge growing as you continue to work yourself onto him.

“I feel so close.” You let out eagerly.

“Come on baby, come for me.” He begins to force your hips down, building more friction to your heat.

You can feel your high approaching rapidly, gripping onto his shoulders tight, your nails digging into his skin. He hisses at the feeling, you let out a weak apology.

“It’s okay, just be a good girl and finish, yeah?”

His words are enough to bring you to the edge. You feel your legs shake as your orgasm takes over your entire body. You bite down on his shoulder, trying to keep from screaming at the euphoric sensation.

He helps you ride out your orgasm until your body begins shaking with aftershocks. He lifts your face to look at him, his features soft. “How are you feeling?”

You can’t help but pull him in for another kiss, he’s shocked but returns it. You pull away looking up at him, pupils dilated and your voice coming out shy, “I want more.”

“Are you sure?” He asks slowly.

You nod your head, “Please.”

He hums, lifting you off of him so he can get up to check his counter for protection. You sit on the mattress waiting for him to find it, growing shyer as the seconds pass.

“I’ll go check upstairs for one, I’m sure Yuta’s got some lying around.” He states, “I’ll be back quickly okay?”

You nod your head, he steps out of the room to go look. You lift the blanket to cover your face, realization of the events hitting you. You were glad nobody was in the room so you could have time to blush over how good you felt.

You heard foot steps approach the door, assuming Mark had found Yuta’s pack of condoms. “Come in!”

Mark opens the door, looking tense. “We gotta go, police showed up crashing the party. Everyone has to leave.”

You both make it to your front door, out of breath for semi running the entire trip home. His hand never left yours throughout the trip and it doesn’t leave yours now. You can’t help but fidget with his fingers that you’ve only now noticed are so much bigger than yours.

“I wonder what tipped them off.” You say referring to the way the police had shut down the party.

“Something about a curfew, no parties for the time being.” He shrugs. “Listen y/n.”

Your fingers don’t stop tracing his palm as you await his sentence. “How about we hang out soon like a date?”

“Oh!” Your hands stop, taken aback by his unabashed state.

He continues, linking his hand into your own. “I’m more than just interested in you, and i’d like to show you that.”

You offer a measly smile. “I’d really like that.”

His answer’s coy. “Great, I’ll see you next time then yeah?”

You nod, he releases your hand beginning to walk away. “Bye Mark.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

You ran into your home closing the door behind you hoping he didn’t notice your bashfulness as you bid him farewell. You bite your lip to calm yourself down, letting out a squeal of excitement.

A ring coming from the kitchen pulls you out of your cheerful state. You head towards the phone picking it up as it’s on the last ring.

“Yuqi? Minnie? DId you guys get home safe?”

The line is silent until you make out a strangled scream through the phone. You instantly drop it, beginning to panic. You hear muffled wheezing through the phone, choosing to pick it up again.

“Who the fuck is this? Is this the same number as before?” Your voice comes out horror-struck. “What the fuck do you want.”

The voice comes out restrained, “You.”

The line goes dead. You hear a knock on the door, grabbing a knife from the counter top and hugging it to your chest. The knocking gets louder, the doorknob twisting.

“Please just leave me alone!” You cry out.

“Y/N, it’s me. Please just open the door.” Marks voice rings out.

You run towards the door unlocking it and letting him in. He picks the knife out of your hands tossing it to the side and pulling you into his arms. You aren’t sure when you began hysterically crying but his embrace helped soothe you.

“What happened baby, talk to me.” You take in a breath, looking over to the phone.

“They won’t stop calling. I don’t know who it is or what they want from me.” You struggle to speak.

“Hey hey it’s okay.” He holds onto you tighter, “I’m here okay?”

Your sobs dwindle, your breathing becoming more steady.

“Do you want me to stay?” He asks.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to be here, not right now.”

He contemplates for a moment, “Would you want to stay at my place for tonight then?”

You nod your head, wiping your tears from your face.

“Please.”

You take in the place, it’s empty besides the couch and TV in the living room and a few plants scattered around. The house smells oddly clean, which wasn’t something you expected from a college man but you weren’t going to complain.

“You can take a seat i’ll get you a water.” He says pointing at the velvet couch in the corner of the living room.

“Thank you.” You smile, taking a seat. It’s pretty comfortable for being a living room couch, you decide you can stick to sleeping there tonight. Leaving early tomorrow so you won’t cause any disturbance.

You look to the wall, a clock hangs on it reading 2:30am. You wonder if Yuqi or Minnie made it home earlier, hoping that none of them ended up in a jail cell tonight.

Mark appears in front of you, a glass of water in his hand. “Here you go,” He offers. You accept the glass taking it out of his hands.

He takes a seat next to you, offering some distance so you can sit comfortably. You chug down half of the water, setting it down beside you onto the floor.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” He asks with a soft tone as if to not scare you.

“It’s everything I said before, I just feel very paranoid these days.” You shake your head, “I keep getting this weird feeling, I feel like someone’s been stalking me.”

His eyes go wide, “Do you know who?”

You let out a sigh, “I haven’t seen anyone, I just feel in my gut like something bad is going to happen if it hasn’t already.” He remains silent allowing you space to explain.

“I never told anyone this, but I keep having like a weird sense of deja vu. I remember so clearly that around this time five years back there was always this same feeling, like I was being followed or watched in every corner.”

You release a shaky breath, “I don’t know why but I think this person whoever he is. I feel like he wants me next.”

Mark breaks his silence, “The Vestal killer?”

“I think so.”

“That can’t be the case right? The police said he must’ve disappeared when he could after the murders right?”

You shrug, “I don’t know if that’s true. All I know is someone has been using me as a pawn in their game for the past weeks.”

“You’re right,” He responds. “Do you want to talk to Yuqi or Minnie maybe? Maybe they might have had the same feeling?”

You nod in agreement, “Yeah okay, can I borrow your phone please?”

“Of course, it’s in my room first door to your left.” You thank him before heading through the hallway into his room.

You pick up the phone beginning to dial in Yuqi’s number, there’s no answer. You try giving another attempt this time to Minnie’s number, she doesn’t pick up. You opt for sending a message to Minnie’s pager, glad you happened to remember to carry yours with you tonight.

911.

You hear Mark’s footsteps approaching, opening the door to check on you.

“None of them picked up, i’m hoping they’re not in jail or something.”

Mark chuckles, “I doubt it, I got a call from Yuta. He ran out with Minnie before the cops showed up.”

“Wow, glad to know they were having fun while shit hit the fan.” You reply sarcastically.

“They wouldn’t be the only ones.” Mark teases, referring to the events that took place between the two of you moments before the party was crashed.

You blush at the memory. “I don’t believe I recall, mind reminding me?”

He offers a coy smile, approaching you slowly. “You sure you don’t remember?” He closes the distance between you two, his arms locking you in between him and the counter.

Like muscle memory, you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. “Not at all, You going to try and jog my memory?”

He contemplates for a moment, “I’ll make sure you don’t forget again.” He says before leaning in for a brutal kiss.

His mouth tastes sweet, youd guess it’s from the halloween candy you noticed on his counter earlier. You grip his arms pulling him closer to lick and taste all over his mouth.

His arms find their way around your waist pulling you even closer to him if that’s possible. You begin to feel the growing bulge against you, disconnecting yourself from the kiss to suck on his neck instead.

He lets out a gasp, feeling your hands find their way down to his bulge and palming it through his pants.

“Fuck– I thought you said you’d never done this before.”

“I haven’t.”

He pulls in closer to your neck, whispering directly into your ear. “Then how is it that you’re already so perfect for me.”

You suck in a breath, your neck sensitive to his touch. He takes advantage of your position, biting down into your neck. It’s not enough to draw blood but enough to get you to release a moan.

He pulls your dress from off of you, your body shivering from the exposed air. “You’re beautiful.” He says, pulling you in for another kiss.

Your body feels on fire, the pleasure is only building up making you want more. You undo his belt, your hand pushing into his pants to grab onto his dick.

He lets out a groan, pulling you up from the counter and onto his bed instead. He pulls away, lying you down on the flat surface. “Tell me now if you don’t want to go any further.”

There’s no way in hell you were going to stop anytime soon. “Let’s finish what we started.”

He took his shirt off, and you took in a breath. His body was toned, his chest and collarbones looked perfect to leave bruises and bites all over.

“Take them off.” He growled. You began to unclasp your bra, your chest falling free. He falls to his knees, tugging your legs closer to him. His head in between your thighs.

You can feel his breath on your cunt, “Fuck baby your pussy is soaking already.”

You gasp, feeling his knuckle begin to trace your slit. “Markie please.” You plead for him to touch.

“Please what baby? Use your words.”

“Please touch me.”

The second the words leave your lips, you feel his mouth on you. You yelp, his mouth connecting straight to your clit, sucking onto it roughly. He eats you out with the same harshness he kisses you with. You can’t complain though, not when his mouth makes you feel like you’ve reached the gates of heaven.

The wet sound of him eating you out only adds to your arousal. You can’t help but squirm, his arms keep you from moving too much though. “Careful baby, i’m trying to feed here.”

His tongue begins fuck into your pussy, pulling a loud moan from you. You cover your mouth to muffle the sounds as much as possible. He pulls away, you whine at the loss of contact.

“Don’t hide your noises, I want to hear how loud you get when I make you cum.” You uncover your mouth as he gets back to work, this time focusing on sucking your clit. Your hips roll feeling your orgasm fast approaching.

“Markie please don’t stop” You beg.

You feel two fingers slide into your pussy, the stretch feels so good. You roll your hips chasing your climax. The stimulation from his fingers penetrating you leave you breathless. You repeat his name over and over like a mantra.

“Markie please I want to cum. Please let me cum.”

With one last thrust of his fingers and a suck on your clit you reach your high, your eyes seeing white. He draws out your orgasm, stopping only when you hiss at the overstimulation.

You let out a breath, looking him in his eyes as he begins to undresses himself. He grabs the condom from the drawer and pulls his cock out of his boxers.

You can’t help but stare right at him, your mouth watering at the sight of his long and thick cock. There was a large vein that ran through it, his tip glowing red. You weren’t experienced but you’d seen films before, and his looked like one straight out of a porno.

He gives it a few pumps before tearing open the packaging and wrapping it around his shaft. “We’re not done yet.”

You feel him lay over you, lining his cock with your entrance. He looks to you before pushing inside, “Are you ready?” You nod. “Yes.”

He pushes himself into you, taking breaks in between to help you catch your breath. “Relax baby, god you’re so fucking tight.”

His dick looked big, but it felt even larger. You felt a slight pain as he slowly pushed himself fully in. “Fuck– Mark you’re so big.”

“It’s okay baby, it’s almost fully inside.” You nod your head, your eyes closing wishing for him to just get on with it.

His dick pushes inside you once again pulling a gasp from you. You swear you can feel it in your stomach.

“That’s it baby.” You open your eye to look down and see his hips connecting to yours, he’s bottomed out. He tests a small thrust and you let out a moan.

“Markie, you can fuck me already.” Your words are enough to snap him back into his lustful self. He starts a slow and steady pace, thrusting into you.

You let out a few noises, tears beginning to line your eyes. He notices, wiping your face with his hand. “Please kiss me.” He leans into you, kissing you gently.

You close your eyes into the kiss, feeling his lips suck your own. You pull away, a moan escaping your lips once he hits your sweet spot. “There– right there.”

He quickens his pace, pistoling his cock attacking your g-spot. Your legs wrapping around his waist, to keep him from pulling any further away from you.

“I’m close–“ You let out, his thrusts getting quicker and stronger.

“Me too.” He groans. His fingers slipping to your sensitive bud, rubbing circles making you scream in pleasure. With the next few thrusts you feel your body convulse, clenching down on him. Your nails scratch down his arms, he hisses at the sting. You reach your second climax of the night, your legs shaking from the aftershocks.

He lets out growl, the feeling of your climax triggering his own. With one last thrust, he’s finishing into the condom. He pulls out of you, you let out a whine at the feeling.

He disposes of the condom, pulling a blanket over the both of you and wrapping his arms around your body.

“I don’t think I can work my legs anymore.” You joke, closing your eyes and catching your breath.

He laughs and pulls you in closer, “That’s okay, you’re all mine now so you have no use for them anyway.”

You let out an awkward laugh. His joke coming out a bit empty. You have no time to comment on it before you feel your eyes begin to shut on their own.

You wake up the next morning bed empty. You remember the events of last night, pulling the covers over your head to hide your embarrassment. The shower is running from what sounds like the room over.

Mark is showering, I should probably go join him.

You smile to yourself and try getting up from the bed, your legs wobbly.

Oh fuck.

You slowly and carefully try walking out of the room, finding the TV on from the living room.

“After days of searching, two bodies have been found early this morning by Velvet lake. No suspects have been identified as of now, though police have said a mask was found at the crime scene.” You inhale sharply at the mask on the TV.

No, it can’t be.

“Halloween festivities have began despite police efforts to ensure proper curfew. The mask found, one of Michael Myers, will be hard to trace back, as the costume happens to be a popular one.”

You stand frozen, hearing the words repeat in your head.

There’s no way it was Mark, he was here the whole time last night.

“This just in, the bodies are presumed to be missing persons Jung Sungchan and Choi Minjae. They were discovered only an hour ago, police reporting it’s possible they could’ve just missed the killer.”

Your breath catches in your throat. Mark woke earlier than you, is it possible he’s showering now to get rid of the evidence. You begin to slowly make your way towards the bedroom to make a phone call.

You dial Minnie, praying to any god that she picks up. There’s no answer. You let out a frustrated sigh, redialing to try and see if it’ll work this time.

Come on Minnie, pick up.

The shower stops. You panic, leaving the phone on the counter and slowly stepping out of the room to leave the house. It’s as you turn the corner that you hear a click from another room.

You turn to the room on the right, finding the door slightly ajar and squeezing through it. You hear another sound of clicking coming from below the steps.

You tiptoe down the steps, finding the room filled with field tools and rope scattered everywhere. It isn’t until you turn the corner that your eyes are filled with horror.

You spot a familiar figure tied to a chair, repeatedly hitting his watch against the seat making a clicking noise. You let out a gasp, his eyes finding your own in pure terror.

Hyungseo? What the fuck was he doing here tied up.

You head over to him pulling the rope from his mouth. “Y/N you have to leave now.”

“What are you talking about.” You whisper, beginning to untie his hands.

“He is insane. You have to leave now it’s not safe.”

“I’m not going to leave you here for yourself.” You dismiss his words. “Come on we’re going.”

His hands are tied with a rope, you lean down to try and undo the knot, not finding success in tugging. “Y/N?” You hear from upstairs. Your eyes go wide at his voice calling you.

You stand, putting a finger over your mouth gesturing for Hyungseo to keep silent. In the corner of your eye you notice the wall of tools again, grabbing a sickle from off of it.

You can hear Mark’s footsteps closely approaching. You cover your mouth and hold in your breath hoping he doesn’t notice you. The door closes from up the stairs. You take in a breath before standing from your hiding place.

“There you are.” His voice comes out from behind you. You jump walking backwards as he steps forward. “Was looking all over for you little fox.”

You can barely let out any words, “What the fuck is this. Why is Hyungseo here.”

He looks genuinely appalled at your question, “What do you mean what is this? It’s all for you.”

“What?” You speak in a whisper.

“I did this for you.” He says stepping closer. “These guys are nothing compared to you, their perverted minds thinking they could ever please you the way you need.”

You hit the wall, sucking in a breath as his hand cups your face. “You’re so pure y/n I had to make sure they wouldn’t get in the way of that.”

His thumb traces your lips, you turn your face away. “That’s not what I want. You’re hurting innocent people.”

“It’s what you need y/n. It’s a shame you can’t see that.”

He pulls away, grabbing onto your wrist that’s holding the sickle. He takes it from your grip throwing it off to the side. “Was that for me? You think i’d let that happen?”

“Leave me alone,” You feel a tear roll down your cheek. “Please.”

“Hey,” He wipes your face. “I’m not going to hurt you baby. I’m protecting you.”

He walks over to where Hyungseo sits, “From him.” He pulls a knife from his pocket, “These fuckers.”

“Don’t hurt him please. Come on let’s talk about this.” You step to the side, closer to the tools on the wall.

“There’s nothing to talk about y/n. He doesn’t deserve to even breathe your air.” He drags the knife against Hyungseo’s throat. You hear the man cry out from fear.

“These men surround themselves around you hoping for a chance to take you for themselves.” He punctures his arm, Hyungseo screaming from the injury.

“Mark stop.” You grab a screwdriver from the wall, hiding it behind your back. “Please just let him go, I’ll stay with you just don’t hurt anyone else.”

He stops, looking into your eye. “I’m not asking for you to stay with me forever, that’d be unfair to you.” He frowns stepping closer to you, “I love you y/n. I’m doing this for your own good.”

You shake your head, “You’re doing this because you’re fucking insane.” He lets out a cold laugh, “If that’s what you think so be it, but I know what you need.”

“You don’t know shit.” You say, grabbing the screwdriver from your pocket and shoving it through his abdomen.

“Fuck–“ He grips his side, you push him away running to where Hyungseo sits, cutting him free from the rope. “You want to play it like this? Really babe.”

“Fuck you, i’m not your babe.” He grabs onto your hair pulling you closer to him with one hand. “I already did.”

You knock your elbow into his wound, escaping from his hold as soon as his hand lets you go. “Hurry.” Hyungseo says from up the stairs, grabbing onto your hand and helping you run up further.

You both run through the hallway, Mark close behind. “You have to go. I’ll call for help.”

“I’m not going to leave you here.”

“Go,” You warn him sternly, “I’ll hold him back.”

“I’ll look for help.” He says before running out of the door. You pick up the phone from his room dialing 911. The phone line is dead.

“You really think i’m that stupid to leave the phone connected?” You jolt from his sudden appearance. “Just leave it alone y/n if we leave now we will catch him in time. His leg is pretty bruised he won’t be able to make it so far.”

“Don’t do this please.”

“I think i’ve told you already, I’m doing this for your own good.”

His hands smoother your face, the blood left on them transferring to your face. “That’s exactly why I got rid of Sungchan, he strayed too close. He knew you were mine and yet he couldn’t hold himself back so I had to take him out.”

“No.” You cry.

“And Jihoon, he was all you ever looked at. You were falling right into his trap, into his temptations.”

“Then what about Minjae, huh?” You yell out, “He never wanted me he wanted Yuqi.”

His smile was deranged, “Honestly he was just fucking annoying.”

You shake your head, tears streaming down your face. Your body shaking in fear. “You’re evil.”

“I’m your executioner.” He looks into your eyes. There’s no more of that sweet Mark you knew before. His entire being is unhinged. He hears a sound coming from the front door, becoming distracted for a second.

You take that moment to reach for the lamp on the desk and breaking it on his head, setting yourself free from his hold. He’s stunned for a moment as you run towards the kitchen grabbing a knife from the counter.

“Get away from me!” You scream out, he stands in front of you, his head bleeding from the hit he took. “Put the knife down.”

You shake your head, “I said get away!” He puts his hands up. “Y/n you’re acting crazy, put the knife down.”

“I’m crazy?” You scream, “You’ve killed people.”

He ignores you, stepping closer. “Which is exactly why I know, you don’t have it in you. So just drop the knife.”

You pause for a moment, frozen in fear. He takes that chance to reach for your hand and grab the knife out of it. What he doesn’t realize is that you are quicker than you seem, you dodge his movement stabbing the knife through his back.

He turns slowly, blood dripping from his mouth. “Fuck, you always were smarter than anyone ever took you for.” He drops to the floor, unconscious giving you the time to run out of the house.

You’re running with blood all over your clothes. The knife is still in your hand, piercing through your palms but even the sting isn’t enough to shake off the adrenaline in your body. You can hear voices calling out to you but you can’t stop running.

It isn’t til you feel a pair of hands grabbing onto you that you stop running. “Y/N.” You break out of your thoughts, your brother’s voice stopping you in your tracks.

“Inhyuk,” You let out a shaky breath. “What are you doing here.”

“I came here as soon as I heard, you need to calm down okay? We’re here to help you.”

You look around noticing the police and paramedics parked outside of the house. Some making their way towards you already. You look at your brother finally caving into his hold and sobbing into his shoulder.

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

“Did he mention any other victims?” You shake your head, the officer had been asking you questions for the past fifteen minutes but you could barely answer. You sat on the back of the ambulance, the paramedics checking you to make sure you had no major injuries.

Hyungseo was rushed to the hospital already, they said his injuries could be fatal if not treated quickly. You had a feeling he was going to be okay though.

There was no word on the state of Mark, and you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was hard enough to face the officer right now. “Can you give her a moment, she can always head to the station if she had any more details.” You hear your brother’s voice interject the officer.

“Oh yes, of course.” He steps away from the two of you walking over to where the sheriff stands. You were thankful for Inhyuk’s help, the last thing you needed was to be reminded of the amount of victims Mark had killed all for you.

“Mom just got here, i’m going to go talk to her okay?” You nod, “I’ll be right back.” He says, still very worried about your condition.

“You’re okay. You might experience some soreness and pain but your blood pressure is fine.” The paramedic says while removing the cuff around your arm. “I’ll give you a moment to yourself.”

He walks always leaving you alone. Your breaths become less frantic, you look up from your hands and into the house in front of you. You remember the way you’d fought Mark off, the police wondering how it was that you’d been able to escape with little to no injuries.

You didn’t have it in you to explain everything. Not the way he had told you that you were his motive for killing, or the way you’d had to stab him multiple times before running out successfully.

There’d be a time for when you’d come clean about everything, and you were fine with that. Except for one.

You had felt a rush the moment you stabbed him with the screwdriver. It was different from any adrenaline rush, no this was a rush of excitement. Then the second time, when you saw him drop to the floor, his eyes rolling into his head unconscious, you’d felt it again.

You enjoyed the way his warm blood dripped down your hands, the way he let in a sharp inhale the second you punctured his back. You loved the way it felt to see him half dead on the ground, and that was something you’d be taking to the grave.

[fatesundress]

⭑ made with love. draco malfoy x reader

summary. it's winter, you’re sick, and draco is extremely rational a terrible, doting mess about it.

tags. fluff! so much fluff! married couple, gn!reader, lots of banter, post-hogwarts with one fleeting mention of the war, draco's anxiety is whetted by a common cold, he basically treats the reader like they hung the moon in the sky and also have the power to yank it down at any given moment. he's very grumpy. but so so in love.

note. my sweet anons!! i tried on three separate occasions to write the requests in my inbox but sometimes i need to be in the depths of hell (ovulation week) to manage smut. i'm sorry. i've made some progress i swear! but the draco hyperfixation came out of NOWHERE and unfortunately i had to indulge in it. also thank you so much for 200! :’)

word count. 1.6k

You are deplorable.

With a fever temperature of 40° and explicit instructions to stay in bed, you’re discernibly not in bed when he makes it home from the apothecary, a jumbled mess of the blankets he’d swathed you in left in your place. Your slippers are absent. Your slippers — in two feet of snow. Your coat is gone too, at least; ridiculously thick and unnecessarily long, though now he’s thankful for it.

Draco paces. Then he sets the Pepperup Elixir over a flame at his desk to keep warm, pours two drops of Sleeping Draught into a mug for your tea, and paces again.

He should have insisted on binding rings for your wedding, he thinks. Something to trace you in emergencies. There’s little to do without them as you’ve evidently either taken the Floo or Apparated, and, in truth, he can’t remember the last time he’s been this nervous. In school, perhaps? During the war? You have him comparing his nerves over a bad cold to those he felt during war. The insanity of that is actually not lost on him, if that counts for anything.

But you are deplorable, and his. His almost as much as he is maddeningly, irremediably yours.

How he allowed an aliment like this to infect him goes against all evolutionary sense. It’s a fever of its own. Incurable despite knowing its cause, and probably festering worse than yours.

And then the fireplace hisses and out you stumble with soot on one cheek and frost on the other, the neck of your coat zipped up to swallow half of your face. In an arm shoved deep in your pocket, a bag swings from the puffy coat crease of your elbow, and Draco baulks. It’s a muggle grocery bag — translucent enough that he can see the square imprint of your favourite sleepy-time tea, a chocolate bar, cans of what he thinks are soup, and — a lemon? Yes. A big miserable lemon that you’ve deigned was worth almost killing yourself over.

Draco does not hear whatever excuses escape your chattering teeth as he plucks your hand from its pocket, puts the bag down, pulls off your coat while you slap at his hands and insist you can do it yourself, and only because he thinks you’d hex him to oblivion if he tried, leads you with a hand on your back to the bedroom rather than hauling you into his arms and carrying you.

“A lemon,” he says, and is aware by the severity of his tone he might as well be saying a gun, or a missile, or a milk crate of Living Death cartons. “You forayed into a snowstorm for a lemon. Do you think I’m incapable of reading a grocery list? I just Flooed —”

“I got more than a lemon,” you huff in a weak voice.

It is appalling that that’s what you take from his admonishment.

Your snow-soaked slippers are tossed aside as you tumble into bed. Draco bundles you in blankets and holds his wand out to take your vitals. You roll your eyes all the while, but once the cold wears off he’s sure you’ll be burning hotter than you were this morning.

He shakes his head. “Lemons are common stock in apothecaries, you know. The shavings are essential in Weedosoros antidotes.”

“Yes, but they’re always so dry.”

“And chocolate — they sell it at Téa’s across the street for the magizoologists. Did you know that?”

“Hmph. No Cadbury, though.”

“And I’ve already warmed the Pepperup and poured you Sleeping Draught, despite your urgency for this —” He pulls the box of tea from your grocery bag, impressed with an image of a little bear with a red nightcap, a steaming cuppa, and a plate of biscuits — “Inarguably superior muggle panacea —”

“I never claimed it was a panacea —”

“Of which we should have distributed to St. Mungo’s en masse. In fact, I should owl them now so they’re informed the Sleeping Draughts are ineffective by comparison —”

“You’re insufferable —”

“Imagine all the orphans without rest —”

“Actually ridiculous —”

“You’re ridiculous. And I hate this bear. Look at his hat. Bloody Gryffindor.”

“Do you know what the wizarding world is lacking? — If you’re concerned enough to make a donation, Mr Malfoy?”

You think it’s hilarious to call him that. He does well not to mention you are, by law, also a Malfoy, and his money is your money to donate as you please.

“What is that?”

“Soup,” you say. “Canned soup — canned with love.”

“We are lacking soup canned with love,” Draco repeats, just to be sure.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be sure to write the Minister.”

“Do.”

“Only if you stay in bed.”

“Hmmm… mmmm… well. Hm.”

“Incorrigible,” he mumbles, brushing the damp from your face before getting up to fix your tea. (He kisses your cheek for good measure, big sop that he is. You do well not to mention it.) “Don’t move or I’ll cast wards on the fireplace.”

“Oh! Cast wards on the doors, too. I might go for a walk.”

He glares at you from the archway. Your answering laugh is broken by a coughing fit, and you look reluctantly glum when he raises a told-you-so brow.

Draco mutters about how ridiculous you are through the kitchen and back, as he steeps your tea, heats your soup, unstoppers the Pepperup Elixir, pours it in an old shot glass from a trip to Italy (you have no graduated plastic cups lying around), squeezes the big stupid lemon in your tea, carries it all to your bed on a tray and realises, still muttering, that these are a lot of steps. But Draco balances the tray without an utterance of magic. It’s rather impressive. You should be sorely sorry.

You are, instead, asleep.

You’re splayed across the bed like something Baroque, limbs fascinatingly posed: half under the blankets and half stubbornly poking out despite his fervent tucking, head nuzzled into the pillow with a slight frown. If Draco were any better with a camera he’d take a picture. Instead he takes careful steps to your bedside, placing the tray on the nightstand and sitting as close as he can manage without disturbing the (once more, revolutionary) arrangement of your legs. It feels criminal to wake you. His fretful anger that you’d gone out in the cold is whittled to a humiliatingly thin and empty husk, and all that remains is mushy adoration. Damn you for that; you look ridiculous anyhow.

Draco kisses your cheek again. Your nose. Your forehead. He traces an invisible portrait of your face with his fingers, as if he’s ever drawn anything better than nasty stick figures on crumpled parchment in school. You, though, he thinks he knows well enough by memory to try.

You stir, not too far from consciousness that it’s a challenge to find it again, but far enough to be audibly vexed by his summons to the surface.

Draco means to berate you in that way he's so good at — chin pointed and scowl permanently etched — but you grumble with a sick, hoarse voice and he falters in a pathetic display. “You forgot your love-suffused muggle soup,” he whispers, one hand cupping your cheek.

“Ugh.”

“Heinous, I know. Sit up for me?”

“Magic word.”

There’s his scowl. “Alohomora.”

“Not that magic word.”

“Imperio.”

“Unforgivables, Draco Malfoy?”

“Hmm, Locomotor Wibbly?”

You sink further into the bed, pulling the uppermost blanket over your head inch by inch. 

“Please,” he says, with profound displeasure.

You sit up and smile.

Draco sighs and lays the legs of the tray out over your lap. You regard his service with sleepy content, one of your hands travelling to his face in what his heart surges to appreciate is an honest thanks after his several near-heart attacks, and then your gaze finds the medically expert Pepperup in an Italian shot glass and it falls.

You groan. “Draco…”

His name says, quite plainly, please don’t make me.

Draco has enough self-respect to at least deny you this. “Wards.”

That says, quite plainly, I was not joking about the fireplace.

You look as though you’re contemplating the severity of two horrors, but it passes fleetingly, with one curse under your breath and a sour expression as you down the shot of Pepperup like… a shot. Burning Ogden’s that scrunches your face up until you shake it away with a blagh noise. 

Come to think of it, Draco's choice of glass is much more appropriate than some medical cup.

“Better?”

You shudder. “I will be.”

“Good. Have your love soup and stupid lemons.”

And then, when he isn’t expecting it, your hot palm finds the place it left off; Draco’s healthily warm, sharp cheek, the soft fuzz of hair beside his ears before your fingers card through the longer strands and you hum like he’s your favourite thing to hold onto.

He melts, eyes fluttering shut. You’re sick, and wholeheartedly deplorable, but you’re safe, and it’ll be alright.

“Draco?”

“Mm.”

“The soup.”

He opens his eyes. “The soup?”

“You know it was canned with love.”

“I trust you wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.”

“And,” you say, thumb flush over his bottom lip as you smile a groggy, self-satisfied smile, “it was made with love, too, right?”

He rolls his eyes, and kisses you nonetheless. “You never cease to ask absurd questions.”

[jymwahuwu]

I was wondering. . What if scenario where darling finally escaped jing yuan by dying and jing yuan had felt all emotions at once anger, furry, sadness, despair, agony. He just cant move on from darling he waited and waited for her next reincarnation and. . Finally after so long of waiting she was finally here standing, breathing and alive

And his not so kind once he kidnapped darling once more and had locked her on his (their) shared bedroom then he just basically fucks darling to the hell and back after so long and he makes her cum and darling felt overstimulated and had kept crying to him to slow down and trying to push him away because who in the right mind would suddenly pull a strange onto some person's house then fucks them into oblivion?!

(Basically idk why im horny or maybe its because i have a period idk anymore-)

From Cloud anon!

thank you cloud anon<3 hesitant to write this…but i love the thirsty ending 🫣 for Jing Yuan, if his clingy and sweet side can't keep you… he doesn't mind getting rough…?

CW: yandere, angst, non-con, kidnapping, overstimulation, (mentioned) death in the past

(The relationship between the reader here and Jing Yuan’s past life is described in a rather vague way. Please DON’T send me requests and comments about angst and take revenge on yandere. I’m tired of receiving those 😭 Please read the rules.)

That's a really rare concept for long living species; life blooms in the spring and withers in the winter. Jing Yuan placed flowers on the coffin, and… still… worked and lived as usual, arranging Luofu's daily affairs at the seat of divine foresight. People whispered- they said, Look. The general is so ruthless. His only lover in centuries had withered like a flower, and he was unmoved.

Jing Yuan knows that he can still live as usual, but there is an empty gap in his heart, which often aches, but he still chooses to keep you in his heart instead of letting time pass by. No loss can cause Jing Yuan to stagnate, he just lives with wounds. He regretted not leaving more holographic records and replayed the few videos you had, over and over again. "mm- Jing Yuan-" Your lips parted slightly, a record of a time when you were so annoyed that you blocked the camera with your hands and giggled while eating ice cream. That was - that was when you liked him, right? The general sometimes wonders - are you tired of him pestering you like that? He apologized, apologized, apologized bitterly - but you wouldn't hear it again. In the end, he still couldn't keep you, you flowed away between his fingers like floating sand. What had hundreds of years left for him?

Reincarnation - Jing Yuan really found you, in another galaxy. In the dim light, you are standing on the street, laughing and chatting with your friends. A familiar frown and a sweet smile, and when talking about interesting topics, the clear and sweet laughter leaked out. Similar facial features, similar movements and expressions are the imprint of the same soul. Jing Yuan suppressed the urge to take you away immediately, knowing that he must first find out your identity in this life. He removes every possible obstacle and takes you away.

Locked up in a room, in the general's mansion. Since you didn't like being able to travel freely among the stars in your previous life.

To you, you who have no information, this is really the cage that abruptly descends. Be sent to the Xianzhou ship by the people of your planet. Your hands are locked with a bunch of locks made of solid space material, but they are wrapped in plush fabric as if to prevent your wrists from getting hurt. The burly man with long white hair, said to be a general named Jing Yuan, caresses your body desperately - desperately. Lots of sticky, dazzling kisses. His tongue dipped into your mouth to search. Tears…tears? This mysterious man doesn't shed tears when you look at him, it's like the tears have dried up. Your thighs and calves were tied together and spread apart, forcing you to expose your most private parts and squirt on his thick fingers for hours. Orgasm is no excuse to stop. After your struggles and twitches, those fingers didn't slow down at all. The cock is buried deep inside you without any suspense after the warm-up is completed. The tight walls contracted and the liquid spread outward.

You are confused - confused, orgasming in pleasure, wanting to push him away (but your hands are tied), asking who he is and why he treats you like this while still maintaining your senses, and all you get is silence. It was the silence of not wanting to repeat the old dreams. From behind, his entire crotch is pressed against your ass, and even your hands are pressed by him, rocking and pounding you back and forth, occasionally kissing your cheek in a daze. Face to face, staring into your eyes, the lower body is closely connected. On top, you were forced to ride him, swinging your waist. From the side, a strong arm lifts one of your legs and slowly inserts it. In front, sucking and servicing that cock for hours. Seed and fluid oozed from the connection. There are two trembling vibrators stuck to your nipples. What a mess.

After making up for some of the love he hadn't had in hundreds of years, the general felt more at ease. Jing Yuan's hands wrapped around your shoulders and waist. You wanted to hate him so much- hate him, but he read you bedtime stories and space. He prepares rich meals for you, toys to relieve your boredom, and kisses your forehead. He promises to take you out, but not now.

Not now.

[milswrites]

The world belongs to dreamers

~ Rhysand X Reader

Summary: Whilst struggling to cope with the loss of his mother and sister, you show Rhysand what it means to dream once more.

Warnings: Serious angst (loss of family) but a fluffy/hopeful ending?

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you.”

You spoke the words softly, afraid to startle the young High Lord as you slowly approached him from behind. Rhysand providing you with no sign of acknowledgement as you came to sit beside him on the roof of the Town House.

Rather, the males expression remained as cold as stone. His empty violet eyes free from the shackles of human emotion as Rhysand icily stared off into the vast oblivion of the night sky.

You were sat beside a broken man.

One who had lost everything; everyone. He was a male who had nothing left to live for and yet that was exactly what was expected of him - to continue living. The sweet kiss of death being a mercy that Rhysand would not be allowed to receive, not whilst he had his duty to the court.

It was impossible to know what to say in the face of grief and you were certain that whatever meagre words of comfort you could provide Rhysand would fall deaf upon his ears. Besides, what was there to say that hadn’t already been spoken?

And so you offered him the only thing you could think of; your company. A silent companion in Rhysand's time of need. You wouldn't allow yourself to be the one to lure him into a false state of happiness with empty hope and useless reassurances. You would be a grounding presence, an open ear. Silently shouldering your friend’s burden to help carry the weight of his sorrows alongside him.

It took an hour for Rhysand to notice you, a seconds glance in your direction accompanied by grunt of acknowledgement before he cast his chilling gaze back to the stars. Then another hour of silence was needed before he could find the words to speak to you and when he finally did, it was difficult to ignore the way your heart shattered at the rawness of his vulnerability.

"They're really gone, aren't they?"

It was a question with only one answer, yet it was one you couldn't speak. Rhysand needn't hear the truth because he had already seen it. Your friend having witnessed the unthinkable, having seen things that no son - no brother - should ever have to see.

Rhysand's brows knitted together at your failure to answer him, turning his violet eyes back to the stars in defeat. A low growl rumbling in his chest as he finally allowed his festering anger to consume him, the darkness which plagued his splintered soul breaking free from its constraints.

"It should have been me" he hissed, a bitter mask of fury marring his handsome features. Rhysand's usually bright eyes now dark and unforgiving. Despite the fact his wings were hidden, you didn’t fail to notice the daunting presence of shadows which commanded your attention in their absence.

All you could do was helplessly shake your head in disagreement, tears beginning to sting your eyes as you pathetically replied, "You don't mean that Rhys, not really."

An empty laugh escaped from his lips, the rolling of his eyes a stab to your heart as he retorted, "My mother is dead. My sister is dead. My Father. . . Are you going to stand there idly and foolishly believe that everything is ok? There's nothing left for me now but ruins. I have no one.”

“You have me” you answer, pained eyes meeting Rhysand’s own lost ones, a hurt whimper leaving your mouth before you continued, “And Cassian, Azriel, Mor. Rhys you’re never alone, not as long as you have us.”

His shaky sigh and wavering shadows gave you the confidence to continue, “This isn’t what she’d want Rhys. What they’d want. Feel, allow yourself that. But don’t allow your emotions to destroy you.”

The violet glow began to return to his eyes, the anger now seeping away as a heart wrenching wave of devastation took its place.

Rhysand’s hollow voice replied, “But we’ll never know what she wanted because of him. We’ll never know what she could have become or what she might have offered the world. Every night I look to the stars and all I can think is that it’s a sight she will never be able to see again, all because it was stolen from her, and it’s not fair.”

“It never is” you comfort, coming to rest a soothing hand on the males shoulder causing his rising tide of shadows to finally dissipate, “Rhys she needn’t look to the stars anymore because she is one. They’re up there, your family, watching over you, all you have to do is look up.”

“And what if they don’t like what they see. What if they look down and only see the broken High Lord and his broken court” Rhysand consciously asked, spitting the cursed words out as he cast his eyes to the glowing city before him.

“Is that what you see?” You questioned, wondering how Rhysand could look down upon the illuminated streets and see anything but hope, “a broken court?”

“All that’s left after the war are crumbling foundations and hollow people” he bitterly scoffed, failing to see the embers which still remained.

“Foundations can be rebuilt. . . Rhys I look at you and I fail to see how our future could be anything other than bright. Build a court of dreamers Rhys, build it from hope.” You encouraged, fighting the desire to drop to your knees and beg for the future you knew only the male had the power to deliver.

“I don’t think I know how to dream anymore” he quietly spoke, words releasing as a whisper, Rhysand afraid that his lack of dreaming made him unworthy of being your High Lord.

“You really see no future for your court?” You ask, probing eyes searching his thoughtful expression for answers.

“I used to. . . Before all this. But I’ve never had to dream of a future without my sister” he gulped, pearlescent tears beginning to run down his gaunt cheeks.

You lifted a comforting hand, gentle thumbs working to brush away each tear as they came, a sad smile taking its place on your lips as you spoke, “You really think she won’t be there Rhys? Your family will never leave you, they’ll always be right here,” your hand moves to rest against his chest, delicate fingers pressing right above the steady beating of his heart, “carry them with you and they’ll never be far away.”

“And the dreams?” He presses, seeking more reassurance from you, “when will they return?”

“You never stop dreaming Rhys, not whilst there’s still hope. . . Take a breath” you order, entwining both your hands with his own as Rhysand did as you asked and drew in a deep breath, “Then just close your eyes and dream.”

“Dream? Just like that?” He nervously queries, not quite believing in your unusual methods, yet fearing he’d break the spell by opening his eyes.

“Think of everything you’ve ever wanted to change about this court, about your life. Every stupid rule you’ve never liked, every choice of your fathers you’ve disagreed with. The world is yours to mould now, every wish, every dream, they’re yours to chase after. Dreams are the foundations for our future Rhys, you just have to have the courage to make them a reality. All you have to do is believe in yourself.”

“And do you?” Rhysand asked, opening his calm violet eyes to look deeply into your own, “. . . Believe in me.”

“The world is full of dreamers Rhys, but there's only one I’d choose to follow" you answer honestly, your reply bringing a small smile to the new High Lord's lips.

"And if I tell you I dream of building this future together, what then?" he asks hopefully, his steady gaze overflowing with anticipation of your response.

"Then who am I to deny you of your wishes? You just let me know when you're ready to start."

You grin at the familiar face smiling back at you, the face of your High Lord, of your friend. Failing to quell the fluttering which grew in your stomach as Rhysand answered you, "I think we've already started Darling, my first dream just came true."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes: Every time I write Rhysand I always say it’s going to be smut next and it’s always angst… anyways, smut next time?

Big thank you to @illyrianbitch and @sarawritestories for their help with this one, they saved me from describing Rhysand’s eyes like aubergines 😬

[dreorig]

Kitten.

When you decided to prank Eddie and turn him into a certified cat boy, you couldn't have imagined what happened next.

content/warnings: +18 | sub bottom cat hybrid eddie x soft dom top male reader | smut | fluff | it's silly kinda | unprotected sex | anal sex | breeding kink | praise kink | slight feminisation | eddie just needs some love, the poor baby | tiniest mention of venom, sorry

notes: this originally was a long fic (around 4k... unfinished...) but methinks people don't really fuck with long fics so i decided to post only the smut (>﹏<) it explained how eddie turned into a kitty kat and etc, plus contained lots of fluff cuz im a sucker for that!! but yeahhh i gave up. also. eddie is wearing a collar with a little bell cuz wahh!!! he's just!!!! too cute!!!!!! ive got this idea for a while now so enjoy ig?!?!?!?!?!

Approaching the half-closed door, you could hear your name between needy whimpers. You opened the door with a smirk on your face and Eddie didn't even notice you. Eddie's head was down and his ass up in the air while he fingered himself, the wet noises sounding like music to you — his hands slid under one of your shirts that he was wearing and began playing with his own chest, whimpering louder when he pinched his nipples. Eddie's tail was raised too; a sign that a cat is ready to mate.

Lord, have mercy on thy son.

"Oh, Eddie, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

Your voice snapped Eddie out of it. He switched positions in the blink of an eye and now he was sitting up, eyes wide and face flustered as he squeezed his thighs together in a poor attempt to hide what you had already seen, looking at you as if he'd rather face Satan himself at the moment.

"It's okay, you don't need to feel embarrassed." You held his hand and pressed a soft kiss on it. "My friend told me you're in heat, just like a cat."

"H-heat?"

"That's right. Your body should calm down after mating a couple times." You put a hand on his cheek, using the other to interlace your fingers with his. "I can help you, if you'd like? But of course you don't have to do anything you don't want, dear. We can always find another solution."

"N-no, please," he rubbed his face against your palm, trying to feel the most of your caresses. "Need you."

He would be the death of you one of these days.

"Alright, sweetie." You kissed the corner of his lips. "As much as I love to see you in my clothes, don't you think this shirt is gonna get in our way? Um? Let's take it off."' You grabbed the hem of the shirt, lifted it over his head and tossed it aside somewhere. Getting up, you began taking your own shirt off. "Now, hands under your knees."

Your cock throbbed inside your pants as you watched Eddie pulling his legs up, those thick thighs touching his chest with ease, exposing his already well-stretched hole with lube dripping out of it. His fully hard cock was in a similar state, wet with pre-cum and lube, and his balls looked so ready to get squeezed.

Fuck, you really needed to fuck him into oblivion.

"Such a good princess for me." You licked your lips, admiring the sight before you. His tail quivered. "I'm gonna breed you so well. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To get pregnant, full of my babies."

Eddie almost melted on the spot over the idea, his fluffy ears upright while he attentively listened to what you'd do to him soon. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, so he nodded eagerly instead, the bell on his neck tinkling. You chuckled, pulling down your pants and boxers.

"Of course you do, princess." You finished undressing and leaned over him, inhaling his addicting scent. "Sorry for making you wait, love."

Wrapping his arms around your neck, Eddie moaned in your mouth when you kissed him while your hands landed on his hips and squeezed them. You bit and sucked on his lips, craving that sweet taste you'd never get tired of. Finishing the kiss, you wasted no time in putting your mouth to work again as you sucked his already hard nipple, a hand now playing with his other nipple, occasionally grabbing the mass around it. Making sure not a single inch of that perfect chest was neglected, you know.

Eddie felt so hot that for a while he thought he'd burst into flames anytime your hands stopped touching his body, even if for no more than five seconds. God, was he horny. Your tip just touched his hole, as if teasing him, and Eddie didn't know if that was on purpose or not but shit, he was impatient. Grinding his ass against your cock, he moaned, "H-hurry up… can't wait… any longer…"

"I know you want it, kitten, but I also know you can wait just a little more. I taught you well, didn't I? Let me show you some love first."

You bit Eddie's shoulder, not enough to hurt, just to leave an ownership mark you knew your princess would like to look at later — you had to fight the urge to rip off the collar and have full access to his neck once again, but you kept your cool because he looked so cute wearing that. Instead, you palmed his aching cock and stroked it at a slow pace, taking your own sweet time to trace those veins your fingerprints already had memorised; that earned you a groan from the irritated kitten beneath you, who didn't know if he should move his hips to meet your strokes or grind his ass on your hardness, wordlessly asking you to just stop the crap and fuck him already.

"My kitten is just too needy, um? Alright, let's have it your way this one time."

Eddie let out a loud, satisfied moan when you finally began burying your cock inside him, not as fast as he wanted but he could feel every inch of your cock slowly stretching him out and for that he was grateful — Venom was probably saying something in his mind about how weird and mildly pathetic humans were with their mating habits, but Eddie's mind was too foggy to understand or even give a shit. Then you abruptly pulled out, but before Eddie could protest, you shoved it all again in one go.

Eddie's teary eyes widened and saliva ran down his chin, "Fuck—"

You felt a sticky, hot fluid hitting your stomach and you didn't even need to look down to see what it was; you couldn't help but grin, looking at your boyfriend. "Eddie, did you just cum only because I slammed my cock inside you? Sometimes I forget my princess is really just a cock slut."

Eddie whimpered, his face looking impossibly red, and closed his eyes, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You chucked, not really expecting an answer, and began moving at a more-slow-than-fast, steady pace. The wet sounds that echoed in the room each time your skin met combined with Eddie's whines almost drove you insane.

You kept pounding Eddie just right, he didn't even mind the slight discomfort in his overstimulated cock, only bringing himself to plead, "More, please, more."

Always eager to do as he wishes, you began increasing your pace, thrusting deeper and deeper, just the way you knew Eddie liked. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. He was sobbing in your ear and digging his claws into your skin — and you loved knowing that would leave marks. Then you noticed something very interesting.

"Would you look at that, kitten…" you grabbed Eddie's hand and put it atop of his own lower abdomen, making him feel the bulge there each time you thrusted. "See how deep I am? Does it feel good, princess?"

Eddie only nodded rapidly, his mind only half conscious now. He could only concentrate on how good your cock felt repeatedly hitting his sweet spot.

"No, no, not like that. I want you to tell me how good you feel. I know you can do that, kitten."

"It's — ah!— so good… I'm so full. Ahh~ f-faster, please?"

"Anything for my obedient princess." You kissed his cheek and said, "Wrap your legs around my waist and hold on tight."

Eddie complied and immediately you changed your pace to a faster, harder and even deeper one, feeling Eddie's claws now digging across your back. You moved your head to nibble on his neck, leaving small bites and hickeys all over his skin, and one of your hands travelled to his cock in order to give it attention once again.

"You're taking me so well, princess. Your perfect body is all mine, even your tight hole was made to fit my cock so beautifully," you praised Eddie as you stroked him with the same pace of your thrusts. "Such a good kitten. That's right, keep moaning in my ear like a cute princess."

"[Name]!" Eddie broke down once he came again, sobbing as heavy tears fell down his face, and hugged you tighter. "D-deep! You're so deep!"

Eddie's tears made you almost dizzy. Holy fuck, how could he be so freaking perfect?

"Shit—" you panted, "I'm gonna cum. Okay, kitten? And you're gonna take it all until there's nothing left and you're all full of my babies, because you're gonna be such an amazing mamma. Ain't that right, dear?"

"Goddamn, yes." Eddie's pretty face was wet with tears, his pink lips also wet and swollen, and you could see his fangs as he let out the cutest moan ever escape. Then he opened his glossy eyes and fixed his lovey-dovey gaze on you, "I promise to be the best mamma to our babies."

That did it. You tightened the grip on his waist and pushed him against you, giving one last deep thrust before reaching your climax, feeling him clenching around your cock as you proceeded to fill him up with your seed. Your grip on his waist remained strong, locking you both together and not allowing a single drop of cum to leak out of his hole before you properly breed him.

Eddie was limp in your arms, still letting out a few more tears as you held him close before calming down. You smiled fondly at the sight, loving how cute he was.

"You're so pretty. My pretty princess." You peppered  his face with kisses, feeling the salty taste of his tears on your lips. "I love you so much."

Eddie's mind was still foggy but yet he gave a cosy smile, managing to mumble, "I love you too."

Afterwards you made Eddie drink some water and showered him with praises, making sure he was alright — that, of course, until Eddie started begging you to fuck him once again, because he was still a needy kitty in heat.

[literary-motif]

ENOUGH ANGST !!!! AAAGGHHH I HATE ANGST !!!! So after Isis confirmed the bound, Xanthus said that he will now sleep with love in order to keep them safe. After listener gets comfortable and finally falls asleep. Xanthus keeps staring at them, slowly releasing what Isis said and building a deeper connection to love. Just for Xanthus to hug them and rest with love PLSPLSPLS

My Design

Xanthus Claiborne x Reader

There was something very intimate about sleeping together — literally sleeping together. Xanthus was enthralled with the soft rise and fall of your chest, calming him so thoroughly that he feared it might lull him into the land of sweet oblivion himself. Your eyelids were gently closed, hiding the beautiful eyes he had lost himself in quite a few times since meeting you in that alley. 

He could not believe you had agreed to spend the night. Certainly, his lavishly decorated house — nay, mansion — might have something to do with it. It looked rather nice, he supposed. He was proud of the furniture, his collection of little specialties expanding over many centuries until it consisted of the composition of works he decorated his house with. 

There was an original Böcklin in the study, and a letter his old friend Van Gogh had sent him safely tucked away in the cabinet, next to the volumes of now historical pictures a history student might sell their soul for. 

His bed was very comfortable as well. Perhaps that was the reason that got you to stay, or maybe the thunderstorm raging in the night had made the prospect of walking home rather distasteful. Either way, you were here now, and he was glad for it. 

Isis had been gone for two hours, and his mind was still reeling. The bond was as fascinating as it was utterly terrifying. He had spent centuries living alone, not daring to tie himself to another person because they would wither and fade before his eyes, and now he was entangled with someone who was definitely going to die! 

‘Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. Yehuda Halevi was right, but instead of the holiness he described at the end of the poem, Xanthus would find insanity when your heart stopped beating. 

How fearful, indeed.

What was this feeling of love he had? How long had he gone without it? Vaguely, he recalled an infatuation at the end of the 19th century — nothing he had ever felt compared to this. 

There was a thread tying you both together, one he could not so easily break no matter how hard he might strain against it. Not that he wanted to, although he supposed part of him did.

Vulnerability never came easy, and now you were his weakness. A weakness. 

You mumbled something in your sleep, and he could not help the fond smile that came across his face. You looked so comfortable with your head buried in the pillows, lying on your side. Unconsciously, you had curled around him, and Xanthus felt the sudden urge to gather you in his arms and make sure nothing mortal or otherwise would ever get the chance to hurt you. 

Something in his chest shifted at seeing your peaceful expression — one that had been missing from his own face for decades. His chest felt warm, and he felt the burning need to protect that had evaded him since he had watched his nephews being lowered into the ground. 

This is love, he realized suddenly, burning, aching, maddening love. What had he become?

What had the bond done to him?

“Xan?” you mumbled, still asleep. His heart could not take it.

“I’m here, love,” he whispered, carefully wrapping his arms around you to pull you against his chest. Your head lay on his chest, and you let out a content sigh, appreciating his affection even from beyond the veil of sleep. “Sleep, I’m here.”

You did not reply, your gentle breathing filling the air again. Distantly, he heard a crack of thunder, lighting striking across the sky in a sudden flash of unloading tension.

Xanthus closed his eyes, listening to your heart instead, hearing it pump the blood through your body. He hoped it would keep beating for a long, long time to come. 

He would make sure of it anyway.

[marlsswrites]

June 29th <3

Always - @rosekillermicrofic - words: 873

TW: Character death, mentions of blood.

It was a dark night, Barty and Evan sat on the damp green grass on the edge of the forbidden forest. Above them was a tall tree, with flowers of varying colours flowing through the vines and lighting up the area.

Fireflies flew around the two boys and moonlight hit Evan in a way that made him look like he was glowing, Barty was sure he actually did glow.

This was all he ever wanted, Barty thought, this moment right now. He could live it forever, play it on repeat in his head. Always thinking of his Evan.

When he held Evan’s hand, he clutched onto it like he was going to run away. When he kissed Evan, he always made sure to leave a mark, because that was Barty’s Evan, no one else’s.

Evan lay his head to rest in Barty’s lap, his blonde hair splaying out and his long dark eyelashes fluttering shut over his ghostly blue eyes. He hummed as Barty ran a pale ring adorned hand through his hair, kissing Barty’s wrist with a small smile tugging on his lips.

“I’ll always love you Evie, you know that right?” Barty whispered in his ear.

“You will?”

Barty nodded and pushed out a hushed yes. “Of course I will.”

“I’ll always love you too Bee.”

-

One year later, Barty was sobbing. He was shrieking for help, he was crying, he was bawling, he was shaking and pale and pleading. “Evie no.” He croaked out as he held the dying boy in his lap, urgently running his hand all over Evan’s hair.

“It’s okay Bee.” Evan whispered, his voice hoarse and croaky like it hurt to even speak.

“No- no it’s not.” He hissed and sniffled, his cheeks flushed red and tears streaming down his face. Barty Crouch Jr never cries, never. But he was a mess right now, and even he knew there was no stopping what was about to happen.

Evan coughed, the bloodstains on his shirt becoming more prominent. Barty had found him like this, a rather injured and bleeding wizard running away from him, who just left Evan here to rot. All alone.

Pressing his hands against the wounds, Barty shrieked out a cry as he buried his head in Evans shoulder. It’s something he’s used to doing, he does it all the time, and Evan always used to kiss his hair and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.

He cried more into his lovers shoulder, his Evan, always his Evan. Nobody should’ve been able to take him away, Barty should’ve been there. That’s not fair, it doesn’t work like that- he can’t go. Not yet.

“Evie.” He muffled into his neck. “Please don’t leave me.” He choked out. “Not- not yet.” His voice was small, muffled by the material of Evans jumper. He could practically hear Evan smiling a pitying smile as he ran a hand through Barty’s hair, kissing the top of his head.

“I’ll always love you, Bee.” Evan whispered into his ear. “Always.”

Barty’s cries grew, chanting a string of no and please. “I’ll always love you too Evie.”

“Always?” Evan whispered into his ear again.

“Always.”

Holding Evan tighter as he felt the life drain out of his body, Barty muffled his last cry into Evan’s torn clothes. “I’ll find you, I promise.”

-

“Dora.” Evan shook her shoulders.

It was years later, in the afterlife to be exact. It was beautiful here, far more relaxing and lacked the horrors that were the wizarding world. Or so he thought.

“Dora, why isn’t Bee here?” He asked warily. “Why? He should be here, he-“

Pandora had tears in her eyes, she looked horrified.

Evan had sent her to watch over Barty as he took his last breath, Evan couldn’t bear to see it. He just wanted to see Bee, his Bee. “Pandora, what is it?” He asked again in a smaller voice.

“He-“ A beat. “The dementors kiss.” She trailed off, staring into oblivion. Her horror struck face stone and fixated on the ground.

“No- no he’s not.” Evan shook his head and stepped closer to Pandora. “Pandora look at me.” She looked up, biting her lip anxiously and blinking away the tears that were already streaming from her eyes.

She placed a hand on his cheek, Barty always used to do that, he thought. “I’m sorry-“ She started.

“They can’t take him from me again.” He swallowed. “No, they haven’t it’s not true…” He cried.

Shrugging Pandoras hand away, he fell to the floor. Sitting at the bottom of a nearby tree and resting his back on it, his head slammed back into the wood as he groaned in pain, but not from his head, from his love.

His sister crouched down in front of him, placing both hands on his knees. “I saw it happen, Ev.” She sniffled.

He couldn’t bear to imagine it, Barty, Bee, his love, getting his soul sucked from his beautiful body. Left motionless and pale on the cold stone floor of a cell, nobody there to mourn him, nobody left to care.

I’ll always love you Bee. He thought as he sobbed into Pandoras shoulder.

Always? A deep voice spoke from the back of his head.

“Always.”

[kmomof4]

The Arena A New Fic for CSSNS24

WE FINALLY MADE IT, Y'ALL!!!!! @cssns is here for the last time!!! And I am sooooo thrilled to be kicking off our final year!!! Before we get to the fic, I have to say a few words about the team of ladies that helped get this fic here for all of you to enjoy!!

First, to the other mods of the CSSNS - @winterbaby89 @stahlop @jrob64 and @ultraluckycatnd This event wouldn't be here without all of you and I cannot thank you enough for stepping up and helping me through this last round.

To @snowbellewells my magnificent beta for this fic - Marta, I cannot thank you enough for reading, rereading, and rereading AGAIN in order to make this fic the best it could be. Love you, my dear friend!!!

To @motherkatereloyshipper artist extraordinaire - Kit's artwork always leaves me with my jaw hanging open in AWE, and this one is no exception!! I could seriously stare at it for hours!!! Please give her all the love!!!! It's at the beginning of the fic under the cut.

And now to the fic! I so hope you enjoy and let me know what you think!!

Summary: The arena. 

A place of fear. Oppression. Blood. Death. 

A place of shattered hopes and dreams. 

A place, for a very lucky few, of hope. 

Words: Almost 3200

Rating: M for graphic violence

Tags: CSSNS24, Werewolves, True Love, Happy Ending

On ao3

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@jrob64 @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @the-darkdragonfly @jennjenn615

@donteattheappleshook @undercaffinatednightmare @pirateherokillian @cocohook38 @qualitycoffeethings

@booksteaandtoomuchtv @superchocovian @motherkatereloyshipper @snowbellewells @pirateprincessofpizza

@djlbg @lfh1226-linda @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic

@anmylica @laianely @resident-of-storybrooke @exhaustedpirate @gingerchangeling

@caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite

@captainswan-kellie @soniccat @beckettj @teamhook @whimsicallyenchantedrose

@thisonesatellite @jonesfandomfanatic @elfiola @zaharadessert @ilovemesomekillianjones

@mie779 @kymbersmith-90 @suwya @veryverynotgoodwrites

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

The arena. 

A place of fear. Oppression. Blood. Death. 

A place of shattered hopes and dreams. 

A place, for a very lucky few, of hope. 

Killian Jones stood along the wall of the arena with his fellow fighters, his eyes trained on the opposite side of the stadium where the grand prize of the wretched and despicable contest he’d willingly signed up for was being held. The wretched and despicable contest that the despot Arthur had created for the entertainment of himself and his court, promising to the victor everything they could ever dream of - more money than they could imagine, a place in the upper echelons of society, land, and a beautiful bride on his arm. A bride that, in Killian’s fondest dreams, didn’t care he was missing a hand. But all of that was for the victor alone. There was no prize for coming in second, unless you counted death as a prize. 

And Killian did. 

Either everything he’d ever hoped for - but which was so far out of reach for a street rat like him - or bringing his miserable existence to an end. That was why he’d eagerly volunteered for the contest. That last sliver of hope his mother - gone for many years now - had instilled in him that his life circumstances had to get better, because they certainly couldn’t get worse, or the sweet oblivion of forever sleep.

He cut his eyes to the left for a moment, taking in his fellow competitors. He didn’t know any of them. The mates he’d trained with for the last year were long gone - scattered to the other corners of the empire to try their own luck in the arena. There were four other men here with him. The one immediately to his left barely looked to be a man at all, but he held a cunning and evil look in his eye that warned not to underestimate him. The man next to him was the largest of all of them with long curly black hair, bulging muscles, deep set dark eyes, and a closely trimmed black beard and goatee. The other two men on the other side of the large one, he’d only seen briefly as they were released into the arena. One was tall and skinny with blonde hair and a scar on his face that gave him a dangerous look, and the other had a mop of brown hair that flopped over his almost simian-looking visage and he held himself with an air of pretension and imperiousness. He’d fit right in with Arthur’s court. He’d probably been an upper house slave looking to be a master instead. 

Now, Killian’s attention was drawn back to the other side of the arena where two slaves were needed to get the young woman into the center of the sunken pit in which they were all held. She truly was a beauty, Killian could already tell, and a hellcat to boot. She wore nothing more than a torn and ragged gown that barely covered her most private parts and was nearly the same color as her skin and a thick silver bracelet on her wrist. Her golden hair was a nest of tangles but still glinted under the midday sun as she screamed and thrashed in their hold. Her legs alternately stuck out in front of her - her heels vainly attempting to anchor themselves into the soft ground - or dragged behind her in an effort to become deadweight and too heavy for the men to carry. When that wasn’t working, she kicked at her captors, clawing and biting every inch of bare skin she could reach.

They finally reached the center of the arena where they dropped her unceremoniously in the dirt. It took her a moment to rise to her hands and knees, then she raised her head and Killian could see her face for the first time. He caught his breath at the exquisiteness of her face, made all the more evident by the dirt and tear tracks which marred her otherwise porcelain skin. The color was high on her cheeks, and her lips were full and red. She wasn’t particularly far away from him, fifteen to twenty feet at most, but he couldn’t tell the color of her eyes from this distance and under the rays of the sun, although he could clearly see the glint of more unshed tears. 

Her gaze swept over the other men beside him before landing on him, and when their eyes met, something came over Killian that he hadn’t felt in over two decades- the wolf that he’d lost when he lost his hand as a lad. An utterly unfamiliar strength flooded him, and his ears rang with the internal howl of his other half as his heart and mind were filled with images of that fateful day.

Killian ran down the crowded streets of the marketplace, a dreadfully skinny boy, one hand holding up the too-large pants around his waist, lest they fall down around his ankles as he ran. His clothes were tattered and worn and hung off his scrawny frame. A boy on the cusp of manhood, his malnourishment was evident in his height, nearly as tall as a man, and the leanness of his face with the beginnings of scruff on his chin.

His eyes darted around the street, taking in the busy vendors with their customers and trying to determine who’d be least likely to notice a pilfered meat pie or a couple of pieces of fruit for himself and his mother. Spying a likely suspect, Killian never slowed as his hand shot out toward his prize. But the shopkeeper was much more aware than Killian had given him credit for, and before he knew it, his wrist was captured in an iron strong grip and he was being pulled behind the small booth.

Without a word, the hulking shopkeeper pulled out a cutlass and brought it down on Killian’s wrist. He was too shocked to even register the pain as he watched his blood gush from the end of his arm. Too mesmerized by the gruesome injury to do anything, he realized darkness was encroaching on the edges of his vision and the sound rushing in his ears was the agonized howl of his wolf - who had manifested only a scant six months ago - dying away to whimpers before everything went black.

It was nearly a week later that he’d woken, according to his mother. She hadn’t been far behind him as he ran through the market and had seen what the shopkeeper had done. She was too late to do anything about her son’s hand, but she’d made sure the shopkeeper would never be capable of such cruelty again. A small dagger coated with aconite from the Monkshood plant leaving a scratch across his wrist was all it took to sentence the man to death before the sun set that same day. She was the one who got him back to the hovel they called home, and nursed him around the clock until his fever broke and he finally awoke. He felt different - an emptiness he couldn’t define - but couldn’t put his finger on why until he looked down at his hands, now hand, and everything came rushing back. His shout of anguish brought his mother running, throwing aside the excuse of a room divider which consisted of a cord strung between two windows on either end of his straw pallet with clothes and rags hanging from it. She gathered him in her arms, whispering soothing words in his ear and rocking him back and forth like she did when he was a small child until his own cries quieted. 

Killian,” she breathed. He pulled back just enough to see her eyes and was shocked at the profound sadness he saw there. “I’m so sorry. Your wolf is gone.” She tried to gather him close again, but he pulled back in alarm instead.

“What?” he asked, confused. “Why!? Is that why I feel different? Not just my hand?”

“Losing a limb,” she imparted on a hitched breath, “kills the wolf inside of you. Until you find your True Love.”

“My True Love?” Killian’s confusion and grief were stronger than ever. “But what if I don’t have a True Love? What if…”

“You mustn’t give up hope, my son,” she said fervently. “You will find her someday, and your wolf will return.”

And today was apparently that day. Killian watched as her eyes widened slightly. He could only hope that she could somehow feel the connection between them. The hum of True Love that he didn’t have time to examine or revel in as Arthur rang the bell signaling the beginning of the contest - of which apparently his True Love was the prize. 

The other men along the wall moved toward her and then all turned to him, the depraved lust in their eyes as they looked at her turning into gleeful anticipation as their gazes settled on him. In that moment, Killian realized they’d somehow all agreed to band together to take him out first, obviously the weakest having only one hand with which to fight. Killian met each of their eyes in turn as they all drew their swords.

“It’s nothing personal, you know,” the tall, arrogant one said. “Can’t allow such an unsuitable, maimed cripple to claim my prize.”

The taunting words were all that was needed for Killian’s wolf to come to the fore. It had been twenty-two years since he’d transformed, but that didn’t mean he didn’t remember exactly what was happening. His own wicked but gleeful grin took over his face as the power of his wolf filled him and he fell to his hands and knees in front of them. The pain-filled howl taking over his mind ripped from his now open maw while the bones, muscles, and sinew in his arms and legs broke, tore, and mended again into their new form. The men before him were frozen in shock, and Killian became aware of an uproar above him among the spectators of the contest. Arthur rang the bell and screamed at the guards and slaves to kill the beast in the arena, but no one moved to do so.

Killian was fully focused on the men in front of him, but was also dimly aware of his True Love. She was still crouched on the ground, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. The transformation now complete, he let loose a full, ringing howl of victory as he leapt toward the largest of the men, still frozen in terror. His claws sank into the man’s chest, blood flowing like rivers down the expanse of bare skin. Killian clamped his jaws down on his head, his canines piercing bone, until with a powerful shake of his head, the skin of the man’s face and the bone underneath tore away from the skull, exposing the soft brain tissue contained within. The man’s screams were abruptly cut off when Killian swiped his claws from the gaping head wound to the top of his chest.

He then turned his attention to the two men on either side of his first victim. He quickly took care of the both of them - the first, ripping his head off with one swipe of his powerful paw, and the second, using all of his front claws to open his enemy’s chest cavity and gut, his intestines spilling to the ground in front of him - before he turned around looking for the one who’d taunted him in the first place.

The smugness was gone, but a look of grim determination had replaced it as the man, armed with only a sword, and wolf circled one another. The uproar among the audience had all but completely died away, the spectators watching in horrified fascination to see who would emerge the victor.

The man lunged and Killian backed up, well out of reach of the sword his opponent wielded. As they circled, Killian became fully aware of something that had only tickled the edge of his mind in the last several minutes as he faced off with the other men. He had both his front paws! Did that mean that his hand would also be restored when he returned to human form? He had no time to ponder the question as his adversary jabbed toward him again.

“Do you really think you can win?” he asked. His eyes gleamed, and the smugness that had disappeared after Killian killed the others was coloring his countenance once again. “You’re nothing but an animal. I’m going to kill you and skin you and hang your pelt on the wall where I can see it every single day for the rest of my life.”

Killian bared his teeth, a low and vicious growl coming from his throat before he surged forward briefly, snapping at the other man. Giving him a good look of exactly what he was up against. Fear flooded his adversary’s eyes, and the hand holding his sword in front of him began to shake uncontrollably. They continued to circle one another, but the man wasn’t paying attention to their surroundings and was nearing the bodies of two of their dead competitors. It was only a moment later when his foot came down squarely on the innards Killian had spilled earlier and flew out from under him, landing him flat on his back amid the blood and gore-covered ground.

Killian wasted no time. With a mighty leap, he landed on top of the man, his claws making ribbons of his enemy’s bare skin. He’d dropped his sword when he fell, and now reached for it as his screams filled Killian’s ears. Biting down on his upper arm, arterial blood sprayed his muzzle as he ripped it clean away from his shoulder. Killian slung the severed limb away before he turned back and tore the man’s throat out. The terror-filled and agonized screams turned to choking gurgles before they died away completely.

Killian looked up into the seats surrounding the arena. The masses were completely quiet and still, obviously not over the shock of what they’d just witnessed. When his gaze landed on Arthur’s, the despot’s eyes widened in panic, and he made haste to exit his elaborately decorated box. The rest of the audience followed the king’s lead, screaming and running for the exits. With another triumphant howl, Killian ran for the wall and cleared it with a single jump. He quickly caught up with the oppressive tyrant, leaping toward him and landing on his back, pushing him to the ground. He bit down on the exposed skin of his neck and was rewarded with another spray of blood signaling the end of the vile oppressor. 

The arena was now empty, save him and his True Love. He leapt back down to the ground and walked slowly towards her. She was crouched on the ground, her head hidden behind her arms, her golden hair shielding most of her body from view. He stopped, unwilling to terrify her even more than he already had, and changed back to his human form. He looked down and gasped when he saw his left hand completely restored.

He moved toward her again as she lifted her head and looked around at the empty arena.

“Where are your captors, milady?” he asked, gently.

“Gone, my lord,” she breathed. “Did you… what…?”

He unclasped the cloak he still wore from around his neck and spread it across her, covering her rags, though there was no one now to gawk or stare lustfully at her. She grabbed the edges and pulled it more fully around her as she rose to her feet, giving him a grateful nod.

“You’re him.” Her voice wasn’t much more than a whisper and was filled with an awe that Killian didn’t understand.

“I’m… who?” he asked, confused.

“You’re him,” she answered, a bit stronger that time. “My True Love.”

Killian couldn’t hope to hide his surprise at her words.

“Yes,” he exclaimed, excitement bubbling over into a beaming smile. “How did you know?”

“You were missing a hand before you transformed,” she explained, haltingly. She couldn’t hold his gaze for any length of time, her eyes bouncing between his and his restored hand that she gently took in her own, her other hand tracing the veins and bones there. “My parents told me before I was taken that if I ever lost a limb, I’d lose my wolf until I found my True Love.”

“You’re a wolf?” Killian almost fell to his knees in shock. He knew there had to be more out there like him, but he’d never met another. Not even his mother. Killian’s wolf came from his father, who’d died long before his own wolf manifested.

She nodded shyly and showed him her arm with the silver bracelet.

“That’s why they put this on me,” she explained. “To keep me from changing. Could you take it off? I can’t. But someone else can.”

“Of course.” He pulled the bracelet off and threw it to the other side of the arena. 

She frowned, and Killian thought he’d never seen anything more adorable in his life. “If they hadn’t forced me to wear it, I would’ve made short work of those two before they could get me two steps in here.” 

Killian smiled and gathered her in his arms, placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “That’s my girl.” After holding her for a moment, relishing the feel of her arms around him and the True Love between them, he released her. “My name is Killian. Killian Jones.”

“My name is Emma. Emma Swan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Emma Swan.” 

She smiled softly and finally met his gaze. “You as well, Killian Jones.” 

She looked around before meeting his eyes once again. “So what now?” she asked. 

“I have no desire to stay here,” he muttered darkly. “Shall we run?”

Her face broke into a beautiful smile. “Yes, please. I haven’t been able to change for almost a year. Since they took me from my home.”

“I have no home,” he said, a note of melancholy in his words. He looked at his True Love again, his mate, and felt a bone deep contentment that he’d never known. “You’re my home now, Emma.”

“And you’re mine, Killian.” Her smile was full of joy as she got down on all fours before him. “Let’s run.”

He joined her on the ground and transformed. When he came back to himself, he saw a pure white wolf in front of him with eyes of green. She tilted her muzzle to the sky and released a long howl before running for the wall surrounding them. He joined her, his howl mixing with hers in a haunting melody that sent chills down his spine. He followed her over the wall and they ran, ran, and ran away from their past and into their future.

Together.

~*~*~

Thank you so much for reading and sharing!!! I hope you enjoyed it and would love to hear what you thought!!! Please give Kit all the love as well for her gorgeous artwork!!! The Supernatural Summer will continue with more fics and art dropping about every other day through the end of August, and I so hope you enjoy this last round!!!

[wandabear]

CHEERFUL OBLIVION - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER (chapter four)

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Summary: Your duty is to watch her 'till Chton comes for her, even if you hate it, but do you really hate it? Especially when you start to get to know Wanda. The bond begins to torment you. But, oh Lord, you've never been so in love. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ masterlist

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tw: smut?, angst, violence, blood, mentions of death, fluff, angst with a happy ending.

Jules/Stolas is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. Here.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤchapter four ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Her gaze rested on the door's handle for about ten minutes, thinking about how to begin, what she was going to say. How was she going to do it? Trying to gain courage to do what she had to do, for so long.

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Things got out of control, she needed to face the situation now but it was so hard. Y/N cleared her throat and finally knocked on the door, expecting that woman to be gone or to just have to get out of there but when the door finally opened, she sighed. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ That was her punishment for all the bad deeds.

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Wanda was in front of her, with a happy smile and an excited look. And all Y/N could say, feeling her heart break, was: “We need to talk.”

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“Sure, come in.” Wanda hesitated a little surprised, especially by the look on Y/N's face. Looked like everything was going to hell. “What is going on, detka? What do you want to talk about?” ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Gulping, Y/N turned to see her asking herself how to start. It wasn't easy to drop a bomb of this size, she knew Wanda wasn't going to take it well. Her life and everyone's life hung by a thread. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't even know how to start. There are things about me that you should know, and you're not going to like them.”  Y/N smiled sadly, feeling the room grow smaller and smaller around her, making the demon feel so helpless. She had never been so afraid before. She looked at Wanda, who sat next to her. “You know how I feel about you, right?” ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled tenderly, taking Y/N's hand to give her the courage and support she needed so bad. “You should tell me.”

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Y/N knew there was no alternative but to tell her the truth. Looking around, the demon took a deep breath, filling her lungs with that exquisite perfume. Wanda smelled of coconut and a soft sweet tone of something she couldn't recognize.

Every part of her body told her not to do it, her mind told her not to say it, to just keep going as she was, but Abaddon wouldn't allow it. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“I know you've tried to find out more about me, and I haven't been honest with you.”  The demon continued, intertwining her fingers with her girlfriend's. “Who I was before I met you is not easy.”

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Wanda was silent, noticing Y/N's internal struggle to say what she felt. If the witch could read her mind now she could easily know, but there was something charming and special about Y/N, not being able to know created a painful but exciting anticipation.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ The melancholy in the Y/N’s gaze captivated her, as well as the passion in those kisses. The love in that woman’s eyes, which grew little by little as the months went by.

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“I'm crazy about you, Wanda. There's no debate about that, I don't want you to doubt my love.” Y/N shrugged, feeling as sincere as she had ever been with anyone before. “I'm in love with you.”

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A huge, in love, sincere smile appeared on Wanda's lips, one that the world started seeing more when she met Y/N.

Couldn't even let her girlfriend finish speaking, the Sokovian just leaned in to kiss her. Oh, the peace she felt when their lips met again. Closing her eyes, Y/N accepted that maybe this was the sweetest ending.

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“I love you.” Wanda whispered against her soft lips, still with eyes closed, still lost in that kiss. Surprised, unable to believe those words, Y/N's eyes widened.

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“What?” Y/N babbled. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ “I know, I know it's not easy to hear...” Wanda giggled sheepishly. Her look showed nothing but unconditional, real and sincere love. “I hope I don't freak you out with this.”

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But Y/N just kept quiet, still shocked. In her head there was nothing but surprise and enormous joy. So much so that she completely forgot the reason why she was there.

That heart beat so fast that the demon feared it would burst out of her chest.

Wanda loved her, she really loved her. Someone loved her!

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“I love you too.” Y/N whispered, a confession both had been waiting for so long. The demon giggled, especially when Wanda wrinkled her nose, fangirling.

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“You do?”

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“I do.” Y/N tucked a strand of brown hair behind her beloved's ear.  “I really love you.”

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Tension between their gazes grew exponentially. Their hearts intertwined once more when Y/N kissed her again, but this time it was a much more needy kiss.

Her tongue sought Wanda's to begin a slow dance. Challenging each other, caressing each other intimately until air became necessary. Carefully, Wanda grabbed the collar of Y/N's shirt and pulled her to the bed, lying down together.

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Suddenly, Y/N couldn't think about anything but Wanda, her smile, the soft touch of her fingers, that sexy thick accent. She didn't even remember why she was there, and now nothing could keep her away from this woman right now. Placing her hands on Wanda's hips and pulling her closer, Y/N left those soft lips to continue running along her jaw until she reached that delicate neck.

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Oh, her scent drove her completely feral.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ Smiling, she bit and kissed the sokovian’s neck so possessive and eager, until something made her stop quickly.

Realizing that she might have been moving too far and those feelings for Wanda were so addictive, Y/N pulled away to look into those green eyes, hoping she hadn't screwed everything up.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ “Sorry, I just…” Y/N said somewhat agitated. Her face was flushed, didn't know if it was because of shyness or desire.  “I’m really into you. You've got me crazy about you. I never felt like this before.”

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A sigh escaped Wanda's lips upon hearing her confession. Her heart was beating so hard, and that weird feeling in her belly was like she had millions of bats flapping around in desperation. It was strange but beautiful, especially since it was the first time.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ “The way you look, the way you walk, the way…that you smile.”  Y/N raised a flirty eyebrow. “And you're so fucking sexy tho, I'm sorry.”

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They both laughed, even in a moment as tense as that, making it more beautiful and even special. Y/N leaned her forehead to rest against hers, bonding in such an adorable way.

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“I want you.” Finally those words left Wanda's lips in a whisper, as if she wanted only them to witness that moment.

Y/N she kept her gaze on those full, sweet lips, as they moved. How much she wanted to lose herself in them. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Totally crazy about her, and would be for her entire eternal life. Y/N closed the distance between them once more, joining in more than a kiss.

In slow caresses, soft touches, her fingers gradually got rid of the clothes when they both fell to the bed, surrendered to passion. The long-sleeved black blouse was left behind, same as that adorable but sensual black skirt of hers.

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“This is my first time.” Wanda confessed in a sigh, making Y/N pull away a little to look at her eyes.

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“I can stop whenever you want.” And it was true, of course she would stop if Wanda needed it. Hell, she could live an eternity without sex if Wanda wanted to. That's how in love and attached to her the demon was.

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“Sh, come here.” The Sokovian's eyes only showed desire, helping Y/N take off her clothes. Between giggles, they both physically loved each other for the first time.

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Wanda's first time with someone. Y/N’s first time making love.

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Touching her with slow hands,  just enjoying the feeling even if it made the Sokovian desperate. Expectation and need devoured her like a wild beast.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ Y/N enjoyed the feel of the skin. That adorable and sensual birth mark on the witch’s boob, the way these fit perfectly in her hand as she softly squeezed them while kissing her belly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ Wanda bit her lip when Y/N finally reached her most sensitive area. How the demon devoured her completely, first slowly to enjoy her and then with a wild need.

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She was at the edge. And it felt so liberating.

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It felt nice, it felt like touching paradise. And Wanda allowed herself to smile, to moan, clinging to her lover once her orgasm hit.

And it wasn't the only one all night. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ “Tell me something about you.” The Sokovian whispered, resting on her lover's chest as she caressed Y/N's belly. She was struggling not to fall asleep.

Both were resting after the fifth orgasm, the clock showed that it was just 4:00 AM. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

Smiling tenderly, Y/N placed a small kiss on Wanda’s head. She kept silent for a moment, thinking how to say it, without having to say the harsh and truly incredible reality. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“Jules and I grew up in this… big place, where... there wasn't much affection, but it didn't matter because I had everything. It was a long time ago.” Y/N murmured as her fingers ran down the brunette's back. She made sure to collect and caress each of her moles and birthmarks and treasure them forever in her mind.  “Although I saw amazing things.” ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

She smiled wistfully. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“Then something happened that made me leave the place. No… In fact, they kicked me out of my place.” Her melancholic voice changed to a much harder one, perhaps an angrier one, you could still see it hurt by the decision they had made so long ago. “I made a silly mistake, a very stupid one indeed… They kicked me out of my home.”

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Noticing the sadness in Y/N, Wanda raised her gaze to see Y/N. How could they do that to Y/N? How could they kick her out of a place that made her happy? A place that felt like home.  How could they be so cruel? How could they take away something she loved? A safe place.

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“Their loss.” She caressed her cheek gently before reaching out to kiss it with such love that once again, it melt the demon’s heart.  “Now you’re mine, detka.”

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Smiling tenderly, Y/N kissed Wanda's lips once more, accepting where she should be, where she deserved to be, where she was destined. “Now I’m yours, forever.”

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And this is how a unique love grew, a love so great and so dangerous. Because only the loss of true love could wreak havoc on Wanda’s unstable mind.

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ She woke up by her side so many times, but that morning both seemed more radiant than ever. After taking a nice, hot shower together, both left the room holding hands. They walked down the aisle without any fear to show their love, proud to have that person by their side.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ At least until they reached the lounge, where Natasha was chatting with someone Y/N couldn't recognize.

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“I’ve to go.” Wanda murmured, biting her lower lip, not wanting to let go but they had to. “I love you.”

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“Love you too.” Y/N gave her a peck on her lips and then watched her walk away. Nothing mattered to her in those moments, Wanda managed to make her forget everything and although it was dangerous, she couldn't help it. She never felt so helpless.

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But a pang made the demon narrow her eyes, those instincts were begging to be heard. A strong smell reached her, making her turn quickly to see where Natasha was.

The Black Widow was chatting with someone pleasantly, someone she could easily recognize. She walked up to the two of them, trying to look nonchalant. ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s happening here?” Y/N said, drawing their attention, her gaze fell on the other redhead and her blood ran cold when she actually saw who it was.

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“Oh, Y/N. This is Josie Miller, she has come to visit. Works for the government but I think the CIA sent her to spy on us.” Natasha joked, both redheads laughed together. They seemed to get along very well, and it was something that Y/N didn't like at all.

How long had she been there? How much information did she get from Nat?

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“Just a little visit, just this woman is incredible, we stayed chatting more than we should.” Abaddon nodded but when she fixed her gaze on Y/N, smiling widely. Clearly this was not a friendly visit. “To see if anyone here needs my help in the future.”

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“Well, it was nice meeting you, Josie.” Natasha shook her hand and then grabbed her phone which started ringing.  “Y/N, can you walk her out? Sorry, Stark is a pain my ass today.”

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Gulping, Y/N fakes her best, kindest smile. “Sure, I'll walk you out, if you like.”

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Before Abaddon's scathing gaze, Y/N walked her down the hallway, feeling the tension in her body increase. As soon as she saw the storage room empty, the demon pushed Abaddon into it and locked it.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ “What are you doing here?” Y/N hissed once she realized they were alone, with Abaddon around anything could happen.

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“Well, seeing that my dear Stolas didn't work as a spy, I've decided to come and see how everything is going.” Abaddon mocked and walked through the storage, looking around, especially some boxes with Stark tech. “These monkeys and their destructive tech. They are not better than us, you know?”

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Y/N gulped at the mention of Stolas. She hadn't heard from her since the demon left to see Abaddon.  “I told you everything was fine.”

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Abaddon snorted. “Yes, of course, you've told me everything I needed to know.” 

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The redhead rolled her eyes and turned to look at Y/N. This time the irony disappeared, her face became more somber and fearsome.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Things changed and so did plans.” The Knight narrowed her eyes and walked around Y/N, like a war general trying to command respect or perhaps like a wild animal surrounding its prey.  “Seems we have one more spy between us, the sky is a bit agitated, so Chton decided to take the girl once and for all.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N was grateful that Abaddon didn't see her at that moment, her face completely pale.

How was that possible? She couldn’t be serious. Wanda wasn't ready and she wasn't ready to lose her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“But…” Y/N whispered. “She's not ready.” 

Giggling at Y/N's naivety, Abaddon stood in front of her. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“It doesn't matter. We will torture her to madness if necessary.”  The high-ranking demon shrugged.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N didn't know what to say or what to do. Couldn't face Abaddon now or half of that place would end up destroyed. She couldn't make her suspicious either, had to play better cards.

Abaddon was much more volatile, her strength was brute while Leviathan flowed like water, Y/N was smarter than her and knew when to attack. Because when the Leviathan did, it was relentless.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Their rivalry dated back millennia, but Y/N never wanted the position Abaddon fervently desired.

In a daring way, the redhead approached Y/N, just inches from her face. The icy blue of those eyes colliding with Y/N's, carmine red lips and a perfume so strong that it permeated the demon's nose.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know you're playing with the witch, the Widow told me everything.” Abaddon narrowed her eyes, she didn't look offended or upset, she just seemed… proud? Strangely cheerful? Not even Y/N knew how to take it. “It's a good move, breaking her heart so hard she'll end up crazy.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Abaddon smiled, showing those prominent fangs. Y/N clenched her fists to endure the rage. Abaddon struck her weakest area.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Oh, honey, when she finds out who you are...” She let out an evil laugh, patting the Y/N’s shoulder. “You're risking your ass for this, Leviathan, I admit it. You have earned my respect.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Oh, of course Abaddon was happy about that. If Wanda becomes the Scarlet Witch out of pain, what would stop her from taking down Y/N out of spite? Nothing.

Far from enraging the Knight of Hell, this time she played a much heavier and more powerful card.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

A masterful play.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“On that day, the Scarlet Witch with her sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan, the twisted serpent; and she shall slay the dragon that is in the sea and bound it a thousand years,”  Abaddon recited those words written in the book so dark and so ancient, ones that made Y/N clench her jaw.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You have seven days left, make the most of it.” The redhead winked at her, knowing that she won that battle. Taking her leather jacket, Abaddon walked towards the door to leave when Y/N gained enough courage to speak.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I want Stolas back.” Leviathan turned to look at her, knowing it might be a bad move, but she would never leave Stolas alone. “I know you have her.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The silence remained for a moment. Both gazes colliding, for the first time Y/N didn't let herself be trampled by her.

Tilting her head, amazed at Leviathan's bravery, Abaddon sneered: “I no longer need the little bird as a spy.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Smiling wryly, Y/N replied: “I don’t care, I want her back.” 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The blue eyed demon was about to refuse again when Y/N interrupted one more time, she wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer.  She was resilient, even more so when it came to the people she loved. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

People she loves. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Those words seemed so absurd, a year ago it would have made her laugh out loud just thinking that she could love someone or be loved. Friendship was such a stupid and meaningless concept, one that today the demon would defend to the death. Because Jules would have done the same thing.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“If you want the girl to be broken, Stolas is part of the plan.” Y/N tried again, arching a sassy eyebrow. Whatever threat Abaddon made to her, didn't give a fuck. And she could tell by the way the redhead clenched her jaw, knowing that even in her worst moments, she couldn't touch Y/N.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I'm tired of torturing the spawn anyway.” Shrugging, trying to look disinterested, she raised her hand and snapped those long pale fingers.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

At that moment a naked body appeared on the ground. Jules was curved, head down, and arms and legs pulled in close to the body, trying to endure the pain.

The bruises and blood on Jules's pale skin, the wounds were more than Y/N could count. Stolas, who had been tortured from the moment she had stepped into hell empty-handed.

Swallowing, the brunette looked up to see Y/N, feeling extremely embarrassed that she saw her that way. Those brown eyes were red from the beating, but Y/N could see the sorrow in them for failing a friend.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Seven days and this land will be scourged.” Abaddon reiterated, watching them with a deadly gaze.  Y/N didn't say anything, just approached Stolas to help her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She was about to leave but then stopped. “You don't happen to know where Furcas is, do you?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The irony in those words flowed like blood in her veins, of course the Knight knew perfectly well what had happened to Furcas, she was testing her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“He must be entertained among innocent women and children, right? It's his specialty.” Arching an eyebrow, Y/N responded in the same way, having nothing to lose at that moment.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Yes, that must be it.” Abaddon said, narrowing her eyes but still smiling wickedly.

The redhead waved at them before walking down the hallway before disappearing.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

As soon as the Knight was gone, she took Jules and they both disappeared from there to appear in their room. Quickly, Y/N grabbed a blanket and covered her friend, helping her up.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Are you okay?” Y/N was so worried, never felt so helpless.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I think so.” Jules muttered, she could barely see with her face so swollen. Hell, she could barely talk. Apparently she had several teeth missing.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Feeling deep guilt but mostly sadness at seeing her like that, Y/N brought her hand to Jules's forehead and quickly healed her.

It wasn't something she could do easily, only fallen angels could do it, but she could take a little of Stolas' pain and share it.

The brunette's face was deflated, you could simply see some small cuts on both of their faces and their bodies, but nothing more than that. Those bruises and burns went from a dark color to a softer one, soon to heal.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Much better.” Y/N smiled melancholy, feeling the burning cut on her lip. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Jules looked at her surprised, perhaps more worried. “You shouldn't have done that, she could have killed you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She can't do that, otherwise she would have done it a long time ago.” Sighing, Y/N helped Jules sit up on the bed. Then came over with a glass of water which Jules drank quickly, completely thirsty.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Y/N…”  The brunette knew that even though Y/N tried to look carefree, she was quite worried. Especially with everything Jules had to tell her.  “She's raising hell. She will free Chton any way she can.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Fear was heard in Stolas 's voice. Of course Y/N knew something big was coming, of course she felt terror freeze her blood just thinking about it.

Determined, inhaling deeply, she knew it was time to take charge of the situation and stop daydreaming.

If she truly loved Wanda, she must do everything to protect her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“We have to talk to them now.” Y/N whispered, knowing it was for the best. That her heartbreak was better than watching Wanda fall into madness.  “She's coming for her.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

A few hours later, both demons walked through the compound as if they were going straight to the gallows.

They knew nothing good was going to happen after tonight, but it was a necessary evil.

Once they arrived at the Lounge, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat as she saw Wanda chat with Yelena, before the blonde walked away. J ules looked at Y/N with a wistful look and squeezed her shoulder.  “I'll go talk to Nat. Good luck.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“My deepest condolences.” Y/N wrinkled her nose, she even felt a little sorry for Stolas. Natasha would kick her ass easily.  “When she finds out what we did… If she could, she would kill you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She has a heart too big for that, and that's what torments me. I love her.” Jules said sadly, putting her hands in the pocket of the huge hoodie she was wearing. “But you and I deserve this. We deserve to suffer, not them.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Strong and harsh words, but real.

Y/N nodded and took courage before walking towards Wanda, who as soon as she saw her coming gave her a huge smile. Oh, how in love she was.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Hello, detka. I thought I wouldn't see you today-”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wands… we need to talk.” Taking a place next to her girlfriend, you could see how the demon seemed a little nervous. The worry and sadness reflected in those eyes.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Sure, like last night.” Wanda flirted a bit.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

 “I mean it, I need to talk to you.” She sighed. Y/N tucked a strand of brown hair behind her lover's ear, caressing her cheek, those adorable moles.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Seeing that Y/N seemed to be serious and noticing the concern on her face, Wanda sought her gaze.  “What's going on, detka?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N hesitated.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

For the first time in this long life, Leviathan felt deep fear, so much so that the words rushed out of her lips. The searing pain of knowing that she will lose her forever.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I'm not who you think I am.” She began, taking a deep breath. “I'm not who you expect.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Frowning, not understanding what this was all about, Wanda took her girlfriend's hand. She didn't want to fall prey to fear and anxiety, but Y/N was breaking all of her schemes once again. “What do you mean?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Getting up from her seat, Y/N tried to arrange the words in her mind before saying something that would break everything.

Scratched the back of her neck thoughtfully. “I'm not who you think I am.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Silence reigned for a few seconds before the Sokovian spoke again, this time her voice was much hoarser. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“This is because last night-?” The brunette thought about the passionate night they spent together. Sure, it must be that.  Got something from Wanda and then she was gone, it was always the same. “I can’t believe it.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda shook her head and stood up ready to leave. Those green eyes filled with tears.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What?” Y/N frowned, She didn't understand until after a few seconds the answer came to her. Wanda was thinking that- “oh, NO! No, no no.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“First, we make love, I have my first time with you and now you leave me. I already know it all.” The brunette shook her head, covering her face, feeling like such an idiot. How could she be so gullible?

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

"It's not because of that!” Y/N took her lover's hand but Wanda quickly let go. “I love you with all my fucking heart, it’s not about that. It's not about that!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda looked at her even more confused than before. “Then what is it?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Hesitant, Y/N gulped. Feeling like a trapped mouse, there was no escape, only the pain.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“It’s about me.” She whispered almost imperceptibly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Of course that didn't clarify any of the ideas that the witch was having in her mind. What could be so bad to see so much concern in those eyes? Wanda wished she could read her mind right now.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You- you know the whole story of... religion and all that?”  Y/N babbled nervously, licking her lips but Wanda just tilted her head, looking even more confused.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Are you Mormon?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No! I’m just-”  The demon exploded, pinching the bridge of her nose, taking so many deep breaths before continuing. “I try to explain to you but I don't know how.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N felt so frustrated. “Have you ever felt or had any paranormal experiences?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You mean besides having powers and reading people's minds?” Wanda jokes, sitting next to her. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Sighing in defeat, Y/N stood up to walk around the room. “Wanda, I'm not human.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She finally let it go bluntly, already tired of looking for excuses or softer ways to tell the truth. An ugly and painful truth, one that was better to discover once and for all.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What are you talking about?” Wanda frowned, unable to believe that Y/N kept something so important from her for so long. “Are you enhanced? Why did you never tell me...?”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, no that.” Swallowing, knowing it was time, Y/N confessed what she never thought she should say:  “I’m a demon.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The silence after that was terrifying, but after a moment Wanda's amused laughter made everything even more uncomfortable for the demon.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Come on, detka. You and your jokes, I almost believe it.” Shaking her head, trying to bear her laughter, Wanda turned to leave but Y/N grabbed her arm.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, I mean it.” Y/N frowned, perhaps a little offended. “I’m a demon.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, you’re not.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“My name is…” The brunette tried to say something but Wanda stopped her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Y/N.” Wanda sighed, this joke was going too far. It was going from being fun to being a bit uncomfortable.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“No, that’s the name I chose to be on Earth all those years ago.” Y/N was beginning to fall into a deep pit of despair. She needed Wanda to believe it, she understood that all that sounded crazy but didn't want to have to prove it to her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Didn't want Wanda to see her as she really is. A monster. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Y/N, demons do not exist.” Wanda got up from the couch, already a little upset by all of this. It was the first time they had an 'argument' and it wasn't even an 'argument'.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She walked towards the exit of the lounge when suddenly Y/N appeared in front of her, as if by magic. A kind of soft flapping sound was heard when she did so.

But what made her retreat was not that but the eyes of her lover. Those eyes that she loved so much now changed to one very reptile-like. Like those of a deadly viper.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Do you need more proof?” Y/N said, walking towards her, noticing how the Sokovian backed away quickly. But after seeing the fear in her green eyes, Y/N turned to her human eyes. “I need you to listen to me, I'm not going to hurt you, I love you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You can't love me, you are a-a… I don't even know what you are!” Wanda murmured, scared, but above all upset by her lies. Suddenly, her fingers began to move, playing with that red magic between them. Y/N felt like a dagger pierced her heart upon hearing those painful words.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know it's hard to accept, I know a lot of things are going through your mind right now.” Y/N said quickly raising her hands as she got closer, the demon didn't want to hurt anyone or fight her. A small tear escaped her eyes, a sincere and real tear. “But I want to tell you the truth.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Although she felt so hurt, Y/N's words managed to calm her down for a moment. The look in the demon’s eyes didn't lie, much less the tears she couldn't hold back, she couldn't be pretending, right?

The red magic stopped; Wanda sighed and lowered her guard, accepting Y/N’s approach.

Slowly, Y/N came closer until she was in front of her. That woman she loved so much, to whom her heart belongs since she met her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You're in danger. That’s why I’m here telling the truth.” Y/N sighed.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Danger of what?” Wanda stroked the sides of her head, trying to bear this whole situation. “I don't understand anything.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda.” Y/N began, taking her hand and even though the Sokovian took it away the first time, the demon took it again to take her to the couch and make her sit there. Y/N knelt in front of her, trying to explain all this madness.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“A very powerful demon has been looking for you for a long time.” Y/N whispered. “You're made for great things.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

And although it was a lot of information all together, Wanda seemed to refuse to accept it. How was it physically possible? It was too much.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

"No! I am just-"

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“A girl with these powers that you still don't understand.” Y/N felt enormous guilt, the confusion and suffering that Wanda felt in those moments must have been overwhelming. “You think it was Hydra's fault, but actually those powers come from yourself. Deep inside you, you know I'm telling the truth… That’s Chaos Magic, Wanda.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Unable to believe all that, the brunette just shook her head. Tears began to fall down her cheeks, how did Y/N possibly know all that? No.

She got her powers because she was stupid enough to join Hydra, not because she was something 'special'.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You’re the Scarlet Witch.” Y/N finished in a sigh, taking her hands. “And there are things out there that want to use you, do you a lot of harm. And I couldn't do it, I love you. I fell in love with you since I met you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

She was being painfully honest, the crying alone could prove that.

Even though the witch was afraid, and her instincts screamed to run  away, Wanda couldn't help but feel that she was telling the truth. Despite the lies, despite Y/N’s true nature, the love was still there.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Please, read my mind.” Y/N begged her, desperate for the first time in her life. “You'll know I'm telling the truth.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ Wanda tried to break free, but the demon was stronger, bringing Wanda's hands to the sides of her head.

Confused, Wanda didn't know what to do. Was she really ready to know the whole truth? Was she ready to break completely? For her to accept that the one she loved so much turned out to be something so and demonic? To accept the betrayal of her great love.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Without further ado, Y/N closed her eyes, lowering that barrier and allowing the witch to read her mind for the first time. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

…

Wanda blinked, trying to adapt to the light of that place. It looked like a very bright and warm place, a long hallway that seemed eternal.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ She walked a step down that hallway until she heard that voice, that voice she knew so well. In one of the hallways, two people she didn't recognize were carrying Y/N, dragging and pushing her towards a huge window. She could now understand that she was in something like a 'building' or at least that's how her brain processed heaven.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ “What you do to humans is inexcusable! I just did what I was told! I didn’t do anything! You can't throw me out like you did with him! ” Y/N shouted before being banished forever. Pushed from that window and causing her fall.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

...

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She's the Scarlet Witch.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“But she’s a kid.” Y/N mumbled, somewhat confused. “Yeah, no, I don’t mess with the tiny ones.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Your job is to do what Chton ordered you to do.” Abaddon screamed furiously.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

...

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The doorbell rang as the kid entered the market. That adorable brunette walked through the aisles looking for something to eat until finally finding her favorite cereal.  She remembered seeing it in one of her favorite episodes.

Smiling widely, Wanda took the box and put it under her dress before trying to leave the place.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Of course, she hadn't even gotten to the door when the owner, a fat old man with a prominent mustache, grabbed her arm, scolding and accusing of calling the police.

Seeing that the girl was struggling to get free, the man raised his arm ready to hit the kid but something didn't let him do it. A hand held his arm tightly, preventing from moving.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Surprised, the man turned to see that woman next to him.  He had not seen her come in, never seen her before but there she was. Y/N was wearing a black leather jacket, a torn t-shirt from one of her favorite 90s bands, dark hair was tied in a ponytail.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Hi.” Y/N smiled widely, not even seeming to make an effort to hold his hand. In fact, she pulled it harder, making the man scream in pain. “You should never, ever hit a child.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Hitting him on the back of the head, she let the man fall to the ground.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What’s your name, kid?” Y/N jumped over the counter to grab a paper bag in which she began to put some food. Bread, milk and some essential stuff.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda.” The girl said with a little voice.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know you and your brother are having a tough time, Wanda, but you shouldn't steal. At least not this guy, he has a gun behind the counter.”  Sighing, the demon finished putting everything in those two bags and approached, crouching down to face the kid. She was an adorable girl who was not to blame for having such an awful fate, the least she could do for her was give her something to eat. “This is for you.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I do not have money.” The Sokovian whispered sadly, lowering her gaze.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know, I don't want money. Hey, look at me.” Y/N asked, finally meeting the girl's eyes. When the demon's eyes changed and the little one seemed more curious rather than scared, Y/N whispered: “You are a good kid, I’m sorry this world doesn't let you be good. Be very careful with adults, not everyone is trustworthy. You'll go out through that door and you will forget all this, you will forget me and you will tell Pietro that you got this thanks to… A nice man in the market, and don't ever come back to this market again.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The little girl nodded and left the market carrying those bags, happy to see your cereal box there.

Y/N watched out the window until little Wanda was out of sight, then looked at the man on the floor.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

"Now you'll see what I do to bullies." the demon hissed.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

...

ㅤ ㅤ

The experiments with the Maximoff siblings have been successful.” One of the Hydra scientists she had manipulated whispered to her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Good, take care of them. Don’t go too far.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“They wanted this.” The scientist shrugged, not caring in the least about the lives of those two teenagers.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Taking that man by the neck, Y/N said through gritted teeth: “You're going to make sure they survive.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

... ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I’m not a fucking guardian angel! I hate this!”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ … ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“The Maximoff girl is suffering like a wounded animal.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ... ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“My work at the Red Room has been relentless.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ … ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Stolas, you allowed one of the widows to escape!” Abaddon shouted angrily. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

… ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Through clenched teeth, Abaddon hissed: “I want to see that girl desolate and collapsed!” ㅤㅤ ㅤ ...

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I can't do this anymore, I love her.” Y/N whimpered, sitting up on her bed, completely defeated.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ “Without you... she couldn't have that destiny. You‘re her savior and her executioner.” Abaddon hissed mockingly.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ …

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Y/N…”  Jules whispered. “She's raising hell. She will free Chton any way she can.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“We have to talk to them… today. She's coming for her.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

All those voices. All those memories. All those lies.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Wanda jumped terrified, confused, shocked by all the information she obtained in just a moment. She took a few steps back from Y/N who seemed as shocked and distraught as her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wands…” Y/N whispered.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The disappointment in Wanda's eyes broke her heart, but of course the demon deserved it.

'We deserve to suffer, not them’ Jules' words were as true as they were accurate. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Get out.” The pain could be heard in Wanda's voice, so much so that her thick sokovian accent resurfaced.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I know you're angry and confused, but you have to listen to me.” The demon tried to get closer but of course the brunette wouldn't allow it.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The fear and rejection in the green gaze caused a sharp pain in Y/N's chest.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I am beyond angry!” She exclaimed, all those memories coming back over and over again in her mind. How was that possible? She fell into Y/N's trap, Y/N lied to her so much, even long before they met. It was just her duty to be close, how come she had been so stupid to believe her?

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I tried to tell you-”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“YOU LIED TO ME!” Wanda finally exploded.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She's coming for you!” Y/N already said a bit more annoyed, especially worried. She understood Wanda's pain but this went beyond a broken heart. Wanda's life depended on this, and of course the entire planet's life.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Get out of my sight.” the Sokovian hissed through her teeth, her green eyes turning a rather dangerous scarlet red.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Y/N stopped, perhaps a little afraid, chaos magic was not something to play with. And of course she didn't want to be the cause of the Scarlet Witch's hatching.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda, I need you to listen to me.” Even though her life was at risk, she tried to talk to Wanda. She loved that woman and wouldn't let anything happen to her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I said leave me alone!”  Wanda screamed, a burst of red energy causing light bulbs to explode around her. Y/N gulped.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What’s going on here?” Yelena and Kate arrived quickly, worried by that noise.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“They’re demons.” Natasha exclaimed as she approached from behind, along with Steve and Tony, who was wearing his suit. Neither of them seemed very happy.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

"What?!"  Yelena frowned.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Suddenly, Jules appeared next to Y/N  with a grim expression, making everyone jump.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What the-?” Kate stammered, not understanding anything that was happening around her. Yelena just narrowed her eyes and stood in front of the brunette, ready to protect her.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“It would be best for you to leave.” Steve said with a seriousness rarely seen. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“And let them kill us while we sleep? We SHOULD lock them up until we know the answers.” Rhodey didn't look happy at all, coming up behind Tony. ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Where?! IThis one just appeared in front of us out of nowhere!” Yelena exclaimed. The tension between everyone seemed to increase by the minute.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“We don't want to hurt you. We just want to help you.”  Y/N tried one more time, raising her hands to demonstrate a passive attitude. She didn't want all of this to go this far.

But fed up with those lies, chaos once again dominated Wanda's actions.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“STOP LYING!” The Sokovian screamed and raised her hands, her chaos magic hit Y/N's chest, pushing her against the window glass and falling onto the terrace.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Coughing, it took Y/N a moment to slowly get up. Jules reached out to take her hand, helping her up. Breaking free from Yelena's grip, Kate was about to go for her friends. The crystals cut Y/N's skin but she slowly began to heal, which made Kate stop.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“We just want to protect you, something is coming for her...” Y/N spit out blood as she stood up from the ground. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Her whole body hurt, but Wanda's hurt look cut deeper. After the anger, the Witch felt  guilty for having hurt someone with her magic.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“She doesn't need your protection, she has us.”  Natasha said standing in front of Wanda, ready to protect her just like the other avengers.

Natasha's green gaze only showed how furious and hurt she was by the lies of those who considered family.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You don't understand, you won't be able to do it!” Jules looked for Nat's gaze, trying to make her listen but the redhead just looked the other way.  “A legion will run over you all before you breathe.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

But no one listened. They all simply moved forward, making them retreat to the terrace. 

Of course the demons could fight them but it didn't make sense, taking Wanda out to some random place in the world against her will? No thanks, it was like carrying an atomic bomb in a suitcase.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Wanda… You must believe me, I just want to help you. You saw how much I really love you.” Y/N begged once more, hoping her lover would believe it, at least because of all the beautiful things they had together.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

But not even the taste of blood on her lips was as bitter as the rejection, Wanda just looked down.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“I don't want to see you again.” Wanda whispered in anguish, this time she was asking for it nicely. She was being reasonable. Without violence, just asking Y/N to leave forever.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Snatching her from her safe place, taking away what she loved most. Kicking her out of heaven one more time.

With nothing more to say since it was completely useless, Y/N sighed and walked away determinedly, complying with what her beloved needed.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Jules stood looking at  all of them somewhat doubtfully, not really knowing what to do. The people she trusted the most now turned their backs on both of them.

It hurt, for the first time, something hurt so deeply, much more than Abaddon's torture.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

Natasha's look broke the heart the demon never had.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“You don't know what awaits us. You have six days.” Without further ado, Stolas hurriedly walked to Y/N's side. Now there were two against the world, Abaddon and the Avengers.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“What are we going to do now?” Jules asked, so confused, noticing the worried expression that Y/N carried. 

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

“Protect them. Whatever it takes.” Y/N paused, licking her lips somewhat thoughtfully.  She had to make an important move on the board and she had to do it now. “I need to think... we need a place... and now? What we need is a big mouth.”

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

The higher-demon watched one of the cameras outside the compound for a moment  before disappearing with her friend.

ㅤㅤ ㅤ

here goes some cuties, the most amazing people tags   ✨  :  @wandanatfan @get-the-fuck-outta-here @idontknow-llol @marvelogic @sunsol-22 @alexawynters @kacka84 🐝

Thank you so much for reading me, sweets! ✨ I'm working hard, but there are only two more left!

If you want me to tag you in the next chapters, just comment and I will. 🐝

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ PS. THE NEW SEASON OF DEMON SLAYER IS COMING! 🐗⚔️

Do you want to help me? Wow, that's adorable and means a lot. You can buy me a coffee here!

[sarahscribbles]

A request for your Big Follower Celebration, as long as I haven’t missed the deadline!

What about some dom!Loki with the prompts:

17. “Hands behind your back” and

20. “Breathe through your nose”

Only if it inspires, of course! 😘

Love you so much, Saz! And congrats on this milestone, you deserve allllll the love! 💕🍾

Anything for you, my sweet angel of a friend!! I love you so much!

𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐.𝟗𝐤

𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

The heavy tread of his boots echoed loudly against the sleepy stillness that had settled over your floor like a blanket. Each large step along the hallway to your bedroom was filled with more purpose than the last, making your heart thunder in your chest. He approached swiftly - each step quick and nimble - enough to tell you that the mission had been a success. 

And he was coming to claim his prize. 

You were still awake, wrapped loosely within cool cotton sheets and waiting for the first telltale sign of his arrival home - as you had been since the staticky message from Rogers confirming that they were only a few hours out from the compound. Sleep had evaded you, refusing to submerge you in its sweet oblivion until you were sure that Loki was safely back within the compound walls.

Ridiculous, though, to think that sleep had ever been on the agenda for tonight. 

With every step he took excitement pooled like lava between your thighs, the anticipation of what awaited you when he opened that door having you all but wriggling beneath the sheets. You could picture perfectly his approach along the empty hallway - cape billowing behind him on a phantom wind, dried morsels of blood and dirt marring his handsome face, eyes bright and blazing with the need to stake his claim on you.

Likely more than once. 

You swung free from the loose tangle of sheets, bare feet lightly hitting the floor at the exact moment the bedroom door eased open. Loki stepped almost soundlessly into the room, the soft rustle of his clothing being the only thing breaking the quiet. His expression was neutral, unphased, but his eyes betrayed him; a predatory glint shone in the depths of emerald green, exposing the storm that swirled fiercely within him. You noticed quickly that his leather was torn and shredded, his cape burned and tinged with ash, and his face a broken map of bruises, dirt, and partially healed cuts.

He looked feral. 

The final distance between you both was closed in a heartbeat as you gathered him in your arms, breathing in the scent of him like it was your favourite perfume. The familiar notes of leather and patchouli mingled with the acrid scent of smoke and death, but it was Loki - your best friend and your entire heart. 

His embrace was crushing, filled with the quiet longing of ten days apart, and you could feel his steady heartbeat thundering against yours. You shifted a fraction in his arms, enough that you could feel his lips press softly against your temple in the barest hint of a kiss.

“My sweet girl,” he said softly on a single exhale, an unmistakable note of relief in his smooth voice. His hand twisted easily into your hair, tucking you beneath his chin as he nuzzled into you, as though you were the single source of strength keeping him on his feet. 

You basked in the warm glow of his love, letting it seep in and fill every inch of you after so long without him, but even the innocence of your reunion had your body ache for him. Your legs longed to be wrapped around his waist, your fingers longed to explore every inch of his perfectly toned body, and your lips longed to tingle with the taste of his. After ten days without so much as a touch, your entire being cried out for him. With arousal pooling like liquid sin between your thighs, you rolled your hips experimentally against his, feeling him already half hard and delighting in the growl of approval that floated from his lips.

“Already, darling?” Loki teased, letting his hand slide down your back. The tips of fingers traced suggestively along your spine, making you shiver with anticipation beneath his touch.

His practiced fingers could play your body like an instrument and a single, teasing touch was enough to guarantee your willing submission. You would bend however he wished you to. 

You pulled back from the comfort of his chest to tilt your head back, feeling your heart jolt wildly at the wicked glint shimmering in his eyes. A sure promise of mischief and debauchery that made your core thrum with need for him. 

“I missed you,” you replied simply, sliding your hands from his waist to squeeze his ass. 

You heard his sharp intake of breath at the same moment the devilish smirk curled across his face. Loki grasped your chin between two sinfully long fingers, holding you still while he kissed you so fiercely you feared your knees would buckle beneath you. It lasted for little over five seconds, but when his mouth left yours his eyes were blown wide with lust.

He didn’t release your chin, but gently jerked your head back. The small action was enough to have something stir to life in the depths of your stomach.

“On your knees, mouth open,” he ordered quietly, letting his thumb trace over your lower lip.

You inhaled a broken, stuttering breath, swallowing thickly and feeling your blood pulse with desire to please this man. You wanted your name spilling from his lips while you drowned him in pleasure, you wanted to feel every jerk and jump of his taut muscles as he came undone beneath your touch. His pleasure was all you wanted, all you ever wanted, and so you folded easily to your knees in front of him, never breaking his gaze while you obediently parted your lips. 

Loki’s hand rested on your cheek as you settled on the ground, his cool touch a balm to the blazing heat that burned beneath your cheeks. His thumb caressed your skin so lovingly that you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, all the while arousal burned like wildfire in the depths of his eyes. 

“Good girl,” he praised you, his smooth voice wrapping around you like crushed velvet. His fingers drifted from your cheek down the column of your neck, making your heart beat wildly in your chest until they stalled at the collar of your shirt. “Off,” he ordered simply, tugging briefly at the soft material.

You obeyed without hesitation, beyond eager to be used for his pleasure. When you were kneeling before him in only your sleep shorts, he ran his eyes slowly over you, hungrily drinking in every inch of your bare skin as though seeing you unclothed for the first time.

“Exquisite,” he murmured softly, curling a finger beneath your chin. “You are not permitted to speak, do you understand?” 

You nodded your understanding at the same moment a fresh surge of arousal blazed beneath your skin, reading and willing to submit to whatever he wished to do to you. He ghosted his thumb slowly along your cheek until it slipped into your open mouth, and you eagerly locked your lips around it, holding his gaze while swirling your tongue around the cool skin. 

Loki’s eyes darkened and his lips parted only a fraction as he watched you, the only small sign of the effect you were having on him. “Always so eager for me, aren’t you, darling?” he taunted, using his free hand to begin unbuttoning his leathers. 

With his thumb still between your lips, you nodded quickly, desperate for the heavy feel of his cock on your tongue. He pulled his thumb from your mouth, silently smearing the excess saliva around your lips and fully freeing himself from the confines of his silk boxers. He was hard and throbbing and you wriggled with impatience to have him in your mouth. 

He stroked himself slowly right in front of your face - long, measured rolls of his wrist that made arousal bubble and simmer within you like an oncoming storm. Impatiently, you watched every pull of his velvet skin and every pearl of his own arousal that gathered at the end of his cock. 

He was flawless. 

And he was yours.

“Fuck, darling,” Loki hissed out while positioning himself at your open mouth. “Do you know how badly I’ve craved you? Your hot little mouth and perfect cunt? The mere thought of you has driven me to distraction,” he rasped out, teasingly tracing the angry tip of his cock along your lower lip.

You resisted the almost overpowering urge to flick your tongue against it, to taste the pearly beads of arousal that were beginning to drip steadily from him. Above you, Loki laughed quietly, all while slowly pressing his cock into your waiting mouth. 

“Go on, then. Impress me,” he taunted, feeding you his cock inch by inch. 

Eagerly, you locked your lips around him, sitting up on your knees to grip the backs of his muscular thighs for purchase while you swirled your tongue greedily around him. He was hard and heavy between your lips, every ridge and vein dragging deliciously against your skin. You took him as far into your mouth as you could, licking down the entire beautiful length of him and using your grip on his thighs to help bob along it.

Until a brief flash of green light sent your hands flying off them.

“Hands behind your back,” Loki ordered huskily, twisting his own hand roughly into your hair. 

You obeyed easily, eager to both bring him to his release and get your reward for obeying him like a good girl; he rewarded you handsomely when you were good for him. With your hands now folded behind you, you had to work harder to take him, but Loki was ever generous and assisted by pushing your head further and further along his cock. Again and again, the tip of him would hit the back of your throat until you gagged loudly around him and, each time you did, you felt him twitch against your tongue.  

It only made your own arousal burn like a summer sun between your thighs.

Loki’s hand remained twisted like a vice in your hair, refusing to grant you even the slightest bit of relief while he guided you none too gently along his cock. He was desperate for his release, so desperate that he was content to merely use you for his pleasure without any thought to your own. 

“Fuck…fuck, darling!” he grunted. “How often I thought of this…of how well you take me.” 

Pride bloomed like a new spring rose deep within your stomach, each unfurling petal warming you right down to the tips of your fingers. He had thought of you on those nights alone, had pictured you behind closed eyes while he pleasured himself. The mental image of him - head thrown back, black curls spilling over his shoulders while he stroked himself to the thought of you - filled you with a renewed desire to please him and see him come undone because of you.  

You wanted him to feel the ecstasy he had only been able to imagine. 

When his hand twitched in your hair - further solidifying his hold on you - you made to hollow your cheeks to propel him towards a shattering release and feel him spill down your throat. How badly you longed to taste your god. You relaxed your throat as best you could, ready and waiting for him to explode, but Loki only pushed you down his cock as far as you could take him, holding you in place barely an inch away from the trimmed smattering of coarse hair. 

You balked as the tip hit the back of your throat, instantly attempting to pull back for a gasp of air, but Loki’s hand held you firm, like a lead weight pressed against the back of your head. 

You would remain where you were until he decided otherwise. 

His cool fingers curled around your skull for added leverage, pushing the head of his cock further down your throat until you audibly gagged around him. It was the furthest you had ever taken him and you yearned to make him proud. 

“Breathe through your nose,” he ordered while giving a single thrust into the wet heat of your mouth. The deep, guttural moan it elicited from him was sinful and made every inch of you tingle with desire. 

No sound compared to that of your god moaning because of you. 

With every single slow thrust into your mouth, you fought the urge to gag, putting all your effort into breathing through your nose as Loki had ordered. His free hand was quickly resting against your cheek, his thumb slowly stroking over your skin to keep you grounded, each soft caress whispering “I am here and I love you.”

Hot tears began to prick in the corners of your eyes as he held you there, but you didn’t move an inch. You could feel him twitch against your tongue with unspent release and the deep moans that floated from him like an unbroken melody stirred in your core. You were making him feel this good simply by holding his cock in your mouth. It made you almost dizzy with pride.

“That…that little mouth of yours…is Valhalla, darling.” His voice was raspy with his need for release, every syllable sounding more desperate than the last, every few words punctuated with his quiet grunts of pleasure. “You are Valhalla.”

Satisfaction seared intently beneath your skin and set your blood alight. Loki was never shy with his praise - ensuring to shower you in it even when being punished - but his sweet words never failed to make you feel light as air. His Asgardian lovers had likely been lightyears more experienced in how to pleasure him, but yet he called you his Valhalla. 

You, a mortal, were his continued undoing. 

The hand in your hair curled into a fist, pulling you back with the barest twinge of pain until only the weeping tip of his cock rested on your tongue. He was hot and heavy and you could taste the arousal that dripped teasingly onto your tongue with each second that passed. The temptation was too great, so, brazenly, you swirled your tongue around him, savouring every ridge and dip and bead of his excitement. 

Above you, you heard the sharp hiss of pleasure that escaped Loki’s lips and felt his hips snap forward almost of their own accord to push his cock back into your mouth. You accepted it greedily, bracing for the forceful slide to the back of your throat that would cut off your air again- a discomfort you would happily endure if it meant pleasing him. 

It was a discomfort that never came. 

Instead, he framed your face with two large, filthy hands, effectively immobilising you while he began to thrust into your waiting mouth.

“Fuck,” he groaned, the single word leaving him on a broken, shuddering breath. “You’ll…ugh…you’ll be the end of me, darling.”

His hands locked around your skull like a vice, leaving you powerless to do anything but accept the near frantic pace he set as he fucked your mouth. Vainly, you attempted to bob your head along his cock, and resisted the urge to plant your hands on his firm ass to coax him further down your throat. Even with every beautiful inch of him filling your mouth you craved more.

You could never get enough of him. 

His steady breathing quickly faltered to a stream of short, sharp pants as he dangled at the end of completion. You could see the mass of muscles in his thighs strain beneath his tight leather trousers, and could feel his merciless grip on your head as his release threatened to consume him. 

“Fuck…fuck…darling, I’m…I’m…so close,” he panted through gritted teeth.

An upward flick of your eyes had something deep in your core twist with desire. His head was thrown back on his shoulders, black curls streaming down his back, teeth bared and nostrils flared as he chased his bliss. 

It was a sight you could get drunk on. 

His thrusts into your mouth grew increasingly erratic as he neared the edge and his sharp little cries of pleasure were almost your undoing. 

“Darling…please…please,” he begged desperately, his impending release almost robbing him of his ability to speak. 

You knew what he was asking - begging - for, and wasted no time in flattening your tongue firmly along the throbbing length of him in exactly the way he loved. 

It was all he needed to go soaring off the edge. 

His fingers twisted viciously into your hair for purchase as his orgasm consumed him - a climax so powerful you saw his knees half buckle beneath him. Your name was a shout to the heavens, to Valhalla, and mixed with a stream of curses so filthy you swore they could have made Tony blush. Your tongue was coated quickly in his release - hot ropes of his cum spilling down your throat and between your lips, all while his deep cries of pleasure continued to ring around the room.

You found you didn’t much care if he had cast a silencing charm, your pride half wanting the others to hear how you were making this god come undone in your mouth, how you were making him moan out your name at the height of his orgasm.

You continued to hold him until he was spent, until his hips came to a gradual stop and he eased himself carefully out of your mouth.

 He was still hard.

One hand remained lightly cupping your cheek, the pad of his thumb brushing over your lips to rid you of what remained of him. “Magnificent, my love,” he rasped, bending easily to hoist you over his shoulder. 

There was barely a moment for you to protest. In four large steps he had crossed to the bed, tossing you easily into the mess of sheets and pinning you there with a hungry glint shining in his eyes. “But I do hope you aren’t tired. I haven’t even started with you yet.”

Pals of Saz taglist: @cheekyscamp @coldnique @mochie85 @muddyorbsblr @fictive-sl0th @cake-writes @the-lady-amphitrite @simplyholl @lokisgoodgirl @give-me-a-moose @springdandelixn @maple-seed @loopsisloops @kinky-faerie @wintermischief @lokiprompts @mischief2sarawr @icytrickster17 @mischief-dream

[eyelessfaces]

out of sight, out of mind

poe dameron x reader

this fic is the prequel to better safe than sorry. therefore it doesn't really matter if you haven't read it because it's a PREquel, but then you know what to read next :)

better safe than sorry masterlist

summary: saying that you're terrified at the idea of losing someone you love again is an understatement. poe dameron happens to be the most reckless person you know.

warnings: reader has trauma and ptsd, mentions of death, angst (I mean, a lot), mentions of injuries, alcohol consumption

tags: f!reader, absolute idiots in love, friends to lovers, poe is in love, reader makes questionable choices but she has trauma okay, poe is so very sweet in this and it has me screaming, fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: 7.1k (personal record for a one shot, wow)

huge thanks to @eatingyouryoung for beta reading and for motivating me, supporting me and most of all bearing with me and the multiple mental breakdowns I had while writing this. love you bestie, thank you, really. <3

masterlist | taglist | ao3

There are moments where it’s only those memories, only those flashbacks clouding your mind and filling up the space for any other thoughts in your head. It eats everything else and doesn’t leave room to breathe, it engulfs everything on its way.

It is impressive how just a few minutes can determine the rest of your life, it is impressive how fast it can eat up everything else that matters.

It can play in your head over and over again when it wants to, like somebody’s favorite holo movie, rewatched when you should be asleep after a long and tiring day, and sometimes you get flashes of it during the day, even if you’re busy and should not be thinking about something other than what you’re currently doing, as if the images were screaming at you that hey, they existed.

You knew all too well that they existed, and for some obscure reason, you didn’t want to forget them. 

You should want them to fade away, to disappear completely, to vanish into oblivion until nothing is left of that day, but something inside of you sticks there, holds onto those few minutes and doesn’t want to let go. 

You don’t want the images to shatter into pieces, you don’t want it to be pooling at your feet like something you know you’re never going to be able to put back together. You don’t want to let go of it, you don’t want to let go of your last memory of her.

These moments aren’t present really often, at least not as much as before, but when they are they’re omnipresent and always remind you of how afraid you are at even just the thought of losing someone again.

Right now is one of those moments, the images play in the back of your mind again, it has become a regular occurrence for them to manifest themselves at the least convenient moments. Maybe Jess was right, maybe you should go see a professional so they could help you manage the manifestation of those memories.

The only thing faintly keeping you connected to reality is Poe’s voice mixing with the scene inside your head as you watch him speak, and even though it’s muffled and his words are barely distinguishable, it’s your only anchor, and you know that if you focus hard enough, it will bring you right back where you are, in the briefing room where he’s explaining everything concerning how the previous mission went and how things could have gone easier for everyone, tactically speaking. 

You do and it works, and you’re back just in time to catch Poe’s gaze sticking to yours, a small wink directed your way drawing a wide and foolish smile from you before he looks away, leaving a heat creeping up your cheeks. 

You’re barely able to focus for the rest of the meeting because of that simple thing, making it so you haven’t listened to any of it at all. 

He dismisses everyone, chatter filling the room before it emigrates out of it, and you wait for him to be done talking with someone and he joins you.

“Hey” he smiles, walking out the room beside you, his arm wrapping around you, his hand resting on your shoulder. “You okay?” he asks as he tilts his head to take a look at your face.

You hum positively, or you hope it sounds positive, and you look up at him with a small smile to prove your point. “Just tired” you shrug.

His lips pinch in a compassionate smile, and his hand shifts from your shoulder to bury into your hair. 

"Wanna come over tonight?" he asks cocking an eyebrow. "Just you, me, a bottle and my quarters"

"Is it really that obvious that I'm not feeling well?" you ask stopping in your steps with a small sigh, looking up at him.

He snorts, shrugging. "Obvious I don’t know, but I know you better than yourself" he chuckles, his hand shifting to your arm so he can squeeze you against himself. "So is that a yes?"

"It sure is" you smile, and he mirrors it before leaving a kiss at the top of your head.

—

Your eyes are watery from the alcohol, and you can feel the dizziness starting to manifest itself as you can see that your vision is slowly starting to delay like a screen's bad frame rate.  

"So" Poe starts, taking the bottle from your hands. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asks finally coming to the subject you've been thoroughly avoiding before, taking care of telling him about your day. 

He brings the bottle to his mouth, frowning at the small shrug you offer him in response. He swallows the liquid as he raises his chin at you, handing you back the bottle. “It’s fine if you don’t, but you know that I’m always here if you need someone to lis–”

“It’s her death. The memories of it”

“Oh” his eyes soften, and he shifts closer to you, still sitting crossed legged on his bed.

“They’re less and less frequent, but when they resurface it’s all there is” you pinch your lips, a single nod showing that you’re accepting your fate despite how cruel it is. "And it's still so vivid, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Everyone loses people they love in this war, and it's almost been two years and yet I can't move on" you chuckle before drinking from the bottle, wincing at the strong taste of the drink. “I feel ridiculous”

"No one does" he nods, raising his eyebrows in a reassuring way. "No one moves on" he declares, taking the bottle from you when you hand it over. "You learn to live with it, but you never really move on." He watches as you chew on your bottom lip, looking down at your lap. “And this is not ridiculous at all.” he tilts his head to emphasize, putting the bottle down on his nightstand.

His hand reaches for yours, and you let him hold it. It feels warm, and his touch feels comforting, and you can feel your heart beat faster when he starts running his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand. “My mom died when I was eight, I’m a grown man and I haven’t moved on and I never will. I just had to learn to live with it.” You look up at him with compassion, but you also feel worried at the thought that it’s probably going to be a long, long way before you can recover from this experience and everything else it involves.

“But the fact that you lived and saw it makes it even harder, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling stuck.”

You closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose maybe a bit too hard, as if you were trying to squeeze the images out of you. 

"I watched her die in front of me, she was right before my eyes and I had to leave her there" the words leave your mouth in a hurried and panicked, trembling plea, throat burning with the tight knot that only seems to get bigger inside as your words remind you of the moment in question, just as if you were there again, anxiety starting to loom menacingly over you again.

A soft exhale leaves Poe’s mouth as his expression turns into one of helplessness, and he gently pulls your body to his so you both lay down on the bed as he holds you close to him, your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around you. 

"I know baby, I know" he whispers, pressing gentle kisses to your hairline, trying to ease your trembling and labored breaths.

You’re not crying, you can’t, you feel so full yet so empty.

—

The ringing, high pitched sound in your ears doesn’t help your current state of tiredness and the growing migraine slowly but surely beginning to anchor into your head, and you can soon feel a throbbing pain hammering into your skull.

It’s fairly late and everyone on base is back to their quarters and for the most fast asleep, save for the ones like you still focused on work. You should get some sleep, you need it, you crave it, but you refuse to leave the empty room before you're done filling your report, wrapping up the paperwork session you've been at for two hours now.

You almost drop your datapad at the sudden feeling of hands over your shoulders, a shuddery gasp slipping from your mouth. It wakes you up a little, your current fatigue making the effect of surprise even more intense, your heart thrumming into your ribcage and reverberating inside your whole body.

The momentary panic fades away when Poe walks around to the desk in front of yours, revealing that it's only him as your eyes follow him as you're trying to catch your breath, a relieved smile growing upon your face. You haven’t seen him since yesterday, both of you drowning under a crushing pile of work. You feel awful when you remember the state you were in, but you also remember that it’s Poe so he doesn’t mind and above all, he’s not one to judge.

"Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to scare you" his lips quirk in a soft smile as both of his hands grasp onto the back of the chair in front of you.

"S'okay, I just didn't expect any visit this late. Why aren't you sleeping?" you ask as you put the datapad down on the desk, looking up at him as you sink back into your chair, crossing your arms. 

“Why aren’t you” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow, almost as if accusing you of the same crime.

You sigh as you raise your eyebrows, taking a hold of the tablet you put down not too long ago. “Well Leia will kick my ass if I don’t fill out all of this, and she kinda scares me when she gets mad, so I’m stuck here until I’m done with paperwork”

“I don’t blame you for that” he snorts. "Need some company?" he asks as he pulls the chair from under the desk.

"I'm almost done but sure" you declare, pointing your hand towards his chair to offer him to stay with you.

He sits down, a slight clinking sound resonating through the empty room when he puts his feet up on the desk. 

You dive back into work, and he would have so many things to tell you about his day but he knows that you're desperate to finish what you're doing so he instead just looks at you, drinking in any movement of yours, even the littlest, admiring the way you look when you're focused, smiling at the way you bite down onto your lip in concentration all while he absent-mindedly fiddles with the ring attached to the chain around his neck.

It doesn’t take too long for you to finish your work and for Poe to escort you back to your quarters, finally getting to tell you about his day while on the way. 

You’re disappointed when you see you’re already there, and if you weren’t so tired you would have invited him inside so you could keep chatting. 

“You still haven’t answered my question” you say as you stop in front of your door, turning on your feet so you could face him, stopping him in the middle of his story about BB-8’s checkup.

“What question?” he frowns, a confused expression taking over his face, lowkey nervous that he forgot about something important.

“Why you’re not asleep.”

“Oh. I was revising details for tomorrow’s last minute mission" he nods as he crosses his arms, leaning his side against the wall.

“Last minute mission?” you repeat, your eyebrows slightly rising in curiosity.

He nods as he pinches his lips. “I’m leaving for a few days. Our contact found something interesting about the First Order, and I have to see this with my own eyes” 

“Be careful” you nod once, the inner corner of your eyebrows angling up in worry, and he can see in your eyes that you’re pleading him. He’s not the most cautious recruit on base, far from that, but he knows what’s good for his cause, even if he sometimes has to pay the price, but you also happen to be more important than his constant desire for recklessness. 

“I will, promised. Goodnight sweetheart.” he smiles softly as he stands in front of you.

“Goodnight Poe.” He turns to his feet, ready to leave, but you grab onto his wrist before he can. He turns to you, eyebrows raised, awaiting anything from you. “Thank you for yesterday. I really needed someone to talk to.” you nod, with a tired but genuine smile.

He smiles back at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling softly.

He leaves a quick kiss at your cheek before leaving, and you wait for him to be out of sight to finally go inside your quarters, and you can’t tell if the sigh leaving your mouth is one of longing or relief.

—

You’re sprinting through the base hallways, and even though it’s really not an uncommon thing to do there, you feel stupid for being in such a rush hoping that he isn’t gone yet. 

Once you arrive in the hangar, catching your breath, it is flooded with orange jumpsuits, making it hard to recognize anyone if they’re not directly facing you, but you just happen to spot the little droid that indicates that Poe’s not far away.

Poe’s eyes light up when you approach and he realizes you’re here to say goodbye, and you shake your head as you walk up to him, almost sprinting once you’re close.

“You do anything risky, I’ll kill you” you threaten as you throw yourself into his arms, the end of your sentence muffled against him.

“Okay. Where's my goodbye kiss?” he asks as he lets his hand rest at the back of your head, and he smirks when he hears your muffled chuckle.

“if you come back without a single scratch,” you start, pulling away from the embrace, looking back at him. “You’ll have a welcome home kiss.” 

His right eyebrow rises in interest, and a sly smirk grows over his face. 

“Now that’s an interesting deal.”

You point a finger to his chest, the tip pressing against it, your head slightly tilting to the side, looking right into his eyes.

“Not.” you push your finger deeper. “A.” deeper again, and—

“–Scratch, yes.” he completes your sentence, taking a hold of your hand, closing it into a fist and pressing it against his chest.

“That’s right. I’ll check” you tease, your other pointer finger pressuring him.

He snorts, “I’d love to show you every single part of my–” his voice quietens as he suddenly looks down at his feet, at the circular droid nudging him. “Yeah buddy” he looks back up at you. “I should get going”

“Alright. Goodbye handsome, be careful” you smile, and he bites down on his lip as he lets go of your hand before starting to walk backwards. 

“You gave me a reason to be, I will be” he shouts from a distance, pointing back at you as he walks away, towards his ship. 

—

The few days he had announced to be the time where he would be gone transformed into a whole week, and though you were busy every night either with work or with friends, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing at random moments of the evening. 

Thankfully feedback from coms said that everyone was okay and that the mission was going exactly as planned, so your state of worry was greatly diminished.

You still couldn’t stop thinking about him and you hated yourself for being so attached to Poe Dameron, but at the same time how could you not when he acted the way he did around you.

You were walking around base with friends when you heard word from a passing group of people that Poe’s squadron had gotten back from their mission, and even though it was getting late and you could wait see him the next day or whenever you would run into him next, the curiosity and apprehension to find out whether he had gotten injured or not took over you.

You apologized to your friends for having to leave them, and hurriedly made your way through the base to join the hangar.

Once you arrive there the scene in front of you is pretty much the same as when you joined Poe before he left; a sea of orange figures, ships on the ground, metallic sounds and indistinct chatter filling the room. 

Poe sees you before you see him and rushes towards you, a sly smirk over his face as he sprints across the hangar, and the moment you finally see him is the exact same moment you want to warn him about the ship wing that’s about to– 

It hits his head with a loud thud.

A yelp that quickly transforms into a groan escapes his mouth, both of his hands covering and pushing against the area of impact as he momentarily curls up on himself in place because of the sudden pain. 

Your mouth is gaping in shock before you sprint to join him.

“Fuck are you okay?” you ask hastily, a nervous chuckle leaving your mouth as your hand rests at his back while his eyes are shut tight, his hand grabbing onto your arm.

“Yeah I’m okay, I’m okay” he nods, his other hand still clinging onto his forehead. He sighs a curse word under his breath, shaking his head as he frowns before he snorts.

“I was uninjured before this.” he chuckles as he looks at you, a skeptic smile over his face. “Not a scratch”

“Mh? Well that’s too bad.” you tease, putting your hand over his shoulder. “Come on, medbay.”

“No no that’s fine I’m o–” 

“Nuh uh I don’t wanna hear it, we’re going to medbay” you insist, pulling onto his arm, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head towards the direction of interest.

Poe reluctantly goes to medbay with you, the medics check him up rather quickly, and everything turns out to be okay; you only have to stay there sitting face to face to hold a cold pad to his forehead to prevent a bump from appearing.

“So, how’d the mission go?”

“Great. Couldn’t have been better. Got into some ambushes but we crushed them” he smiles. “And not a scratch, nothing” he nods proudly.

“See, you can make efforts when you’re interested in the promised outcome” you chuckle, shifting in place so you could get a better position to hold the pad over his forehead. 

He winces, “S’cold as fuck”

“That’s the point” you huff out a laugh, and he smacks your thigh playfully in response.

“So” he starts, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. “Can I get my price?” he asks, a sly smirk growing over his face.

“...I don’t know” you hum, a fake skeptic expression over your face. It’s hard to refrain from smiling when you see his semi-pouty face, “You technically didn’t respect the conditions.”

“What? It shouldn’t count!” he starts bargaining like a child that has been wrongly accused for something their sibling did, and you huff out a small laugh seeing how he reacts to you simply teasing him.

“I mean, you got hurt” you shrug.

“The mission was over”

“I told you to come back uninjured, mission or not, or else what's the point”

“Fair enough, but you didn’t specify beforehand”

“Well, now you know” you say, a small exhale leaving your mouth when you get up from your seat, and Poe doesn’t waste any second to follow you, tossing the cold pad onto the nearest surface.

“Alright, okay, but now I want a second chance at this so it’s fair game” he bargains, following you closely when you exit the medbay.

"Alright, alright" you agree as you turn back to him. "Come on now, you need to rest" you turn to your feet again, towards the hallway extending before you.

He remains standing in place when you start walking again, just looking at you and pondering. It takes him a few seconds before he catches up and joins you again, walking by your side.

The both of you are silent for most of the walk to Poe's quarters; it's pretty uncommon for Poe to remain quiet for more than thirty seconds, and it has you thinking.

"You really want your kiss, huh?" you ask rhetorically, stopping in your steps and turning to him once you're in front of his door.

He pauses, and takes a look at you before answering. "Of course I do" he chuckles, and you nod as your teeth sink into your bottom lip.

Poe barely has time to process you getting substantially closer to him before you grab the collar of his flight suit and put your lips over his, gently pushing him against the wall. 

The quarter of second it takes for him to fully be aware of what's happening leaves him sighing against your mouth, and once he's sure that it’s all real, his hand cradles the back of your head, pulling you even closer. 

His other hand rests at your hip, your own hands leaving his collar and resting at the back of his neck, and low hum vibrating against your mouth when your fingers bury into his short curls there.

You pull away just for a second before he yanks you towards him, kissing you back with even more vigor.

His lips are warm and pressed tight against yours, the heat of his body feeling omnipresent even though you're the one caging him.

You smile at the sight of the starstruck expression left over his face when you pull away, and your heart sinks at the way his warm eyes look at you. 

“I was messing with you, I always keep my promises” you tease with a grin as you start to back away, your hands behind your back, giving him space again.

“Admit it, you didn’t want to be kind to me, you just wanted to do it” he smirks, a teasing tone in his voice before he bites down onto his bottom lip. “You wanted to kiss me”

You smirk back at him, shrugging before turning onto your feet and leaving for good, retracing your steps.

Poe stares at you leaving until you're out of sight, and he can't help but smile to himself when he enters the code to his quarters, still not fully believing what just happened.

You, you should feel overjoyed, but you can’t help but acknowledge that bittersweet feeling starting to get to you as you’re walking back to your quarters and being faced with reality again, your mind starting to overfill with too many thoughts; you’re getting too attached. 

—

You toss and turn in your bed, and all you’re able to do instead of sleeping is hating yourself for kissing Poe, for certainly making him feel like this meant that you were ready to give him what he had been wanting from you for so long.

You do have feelings for him, and that’s where the problem is; you can not love anyone, and certainly not someone as reckless and impulsive as him, not someone you could lose technically so easily. 

You can’t go through this again, you know you wouldn’t be able to carry the weight of his loss.

Maybe it’s selfish, maybe you’re making the biggest mistake of your life – no; you’re sure of that – but you’re also sure that you wouldn't be able to handle enduring this again; the simple thought crushes you.

You toss and turn in your bed, and while Poe is certainly delighted of what happened, you hate that you’re going to have to distance yourself from him because you fucked everything up.

—

It has been a week since you and Poe had kissed, and it seemed like you were thoroughly trying to avoid him ever since, hurrying out of the room after every briefing, taking advantage of the crowd and of the people wanting to talk details with the commander. 

You happened to never eat at the same time as him anymore, and you were nowhere to be found when he looked for you in places he knew you would usually be.

Poe was left confused, and even though he had a lot of work and technically other things to think about, the fact that he couldn’t catch you to talk even just for five minutes was bothering him and leaving him wondering if he had done something wrong, especially with what happened last time.

He had thought this kiss would change things between you, would lead you somewhere and that he would finally get what he had wanted for ages; you.

He knew it was no coincidence that you wouldn't stop ignoring his presence, that you wouldn't maintain eye contact through the briefing room for more than two seconds; that you wouldn’t run into him anymore; he knew he had been just a fool, too stupid to think that this could lead him somewhere, lead the both of you somewhere, that you would feel the same way he felt for you.

—

You took it as a sign that your friends had understood something was wrong when they practically dragged you to go get some drinks, and while you weren’t particularly in the mood to do that, you had to admit that you needed some distraction.

You needed to be busy in order to avoid thinking too much, to avoid getting too deep into your own head, because you knew that if you did you would break.

And the distraction technique actually works; you’re having a good time, chatting and laughing, forgetting about everything else going on besides that, and it feels really good, the illusion feels good.

There comes a time when you start to feel the drinks you’ve downed, the slight drunkenness starting to manifest itself as well as your need to pee.

You're still in a pretty good shape, drinkingly speaking; you're not fully drunk yet, just tipsy – the feeling is still pleasant, and you just have to stop for a second to maintain balance on your feet when you get up from your seat to join the cantina's bathroom.

The room is empty when you go and lock yourself into a stall, and the muffled music gets clearer when a group of people enter the room seconds later, their loud and high pitched laughs almost fully covering the sound of the loud music before it gets muffled again.

“So” one of the girls starts as she recovers from her laugh, “How’d last night end?” she asks, and the question elicits curious gasps from the other girls of the group.

“Yeah, we didn’t see you after you left the room with Commander Dameron” another girl teases, putting emphasis on the rank and last name, and your eyes widen at the sound of that.

Well. Try to forget about something and it’s shoved into your face right back away.

This catches your interest nonetheless, and you make sure to wait a little before you wipe yourself, not wanting to miss a beat of the conversation.

"Well," another girl starts, the girl who you assume is the girl who left the room with Commander Dameron. 

"We were both drunk and it was sloppy but damn is he good at it” she declares proudly, a fit of giggles filling the room.

Oh.

She's talking about something else, right? 

This can't possibly be, right?

Right?

"No way you slept with a commander, Jana. This is like a special success, something to check off a list" one of them chuckles.

"Sure did." Jana replies, and this is cliché and a bit not-feminist but you can just imagine her putting another layer of gloss on her lips.

Fuck.

It's with a half lie about not feeling well that you leave your friends and go home to your quarters, trying to repress the tight knot in your throat when you don’t even bother to change into your sleeping clothes and curl up into your bed.

—

The next briefings after that are awkward and feel delicate, and even though they already were before, you now can not look at Poe without internally wanting to scream and break something.

You hurry out the room faster than before if it’s even possible, and you need to be constantly distracted and busy with something in order not to think about him and all of your current situation with him.

You make your way out of the seemingly way-too-busy room once more, apologizing as you slalom through the crowd of people, an exhale of relief escaping once you get some relatively fresh air in the hallway.

“Hey” your heart jumps when you recognize Poe’s voice as he grabs your arm, and you sigh softly when you’re forced to turn to him. He must have disregarded everyone’s questions to exit the briefing room that quickly. “Why won’t you talk to me? Why do you barely even look at me?” he asks, and his voice slightly cracks at the middle of his sentence. He’s not fully scolding you, he genuinely wants answers.

A soft exhale leaves your mouth, and you can feel and hear your heart starting to beat fast in your ears.

“Did you sleep with Jana?”

The question is dropped like a bomb, and you know it’s going to have the effect of a bomb no matter what happens – it’s going to destroy everything, but at this point there isn’t really anything left to lose, nothing left to save either, it’s all doomed.

You already know the answer, you already know he’s going to respond positively because he’s an honest man and definitely not a liar; it’s something you have always appreciated in him.

“I–” he is speechless, and his mouth is gaping, trying to come up with anything to say though he knows damn well what he has to say if he wants to be honest with you, even if it’s going to ruin everything, until– “Yes.”

You expected it, and yet it still hurts. 

You had secretly hoped that the girl in the cantina bathroom had made that lie up to impress her friends, and you deep down knew she hadn’t, but you somehow buried yourself deep into denial, thinking that hoping otherwise would somehow manifest the truth to be different.

“I can’t wait for you forever. I don’t want to.” 

Immediately and like a reflex your eyes close, your lips pinch and you nod, trying to ignore the sick feeling bubbling inside your chest though it’s impossible. 

It hurts, everything hurts, nothing will ever be the same with him and it’s entirely your fault, you brought it upon yourself.

He’s not yours after all, and you made sure of that, so you shouldn’t be upset, you shouldn’t feel your heart sink. It’s not legitimate.

“You know that’s not what I meant” he starts again, the inner corner of his eyebrows angling up in compassion when he sees your reaction. “I could wait for you forever.” he nods, a bittersweet smile over his face. “But you’re making me feel like a fool. I don’t want to feel like a fool forever” he nods one last time as his lips pinch to repress something, and you can see his eyes glistening a bit, and your heart aches at the sight.

You bite down on your lip trying to contain your frustration, or your growing state of misery; you’re not sure, and all you’re able to reply is just–

“Okay.”

It’s bland, cold and dry, but it’s truly all that can come out.

You don’t have the heart to bargain and beg for your cause, and it would feel unfair and dishonest for him anyways.

“I’m sorry” Poe immediately says, and you feel bad that he is the one to be sorry, that he feels like he is the bad guy in that whole story when all of this is entirely your fault.

“No, no, I am. I get it” you try to reassure him, forcing a small smile out of you, still trying to make it seem like you’re doing fine, though you know there’s no use trying to when he knows you so well. 

You can’t stay here any longer or you will break, and you don’t have anything left to say anyways, not when you know it probably has to end that way.

You leave as fast as you left the briefing room earlier, and Poe feels sick when he watches you go, feels the need to puke when his head somehow fills with every memory you’ve ever made with him.

You’re glad your back is facing him when you have to frantically wipe away the single tear rolling down your cheek.

—

It feels strange not having Poe in your life anymore, at least not properly; and it's probably worse that way, the fact that he's still around and that you're still often being confronted to each other, forced to pretend not to care about each other.

It hurts that he's now back to being "just" a commander to you, a colleague, that you're both back to being basically strangers, that the eye contacts don't linger anymore and just leave a bitter feeling lodged inside your chest when they used to leave butterflies in your stomach.

Your heart aches every time you catch a glimpse of him, and it’s hard trying to stay focused when you work around him, go on missions with him. 

You feel terrible for what you’ve done to him, you feel sick that he feels like he's been played with when all you wanted to do was protect yourself, you feel bad that he has to be collateral damage. 

You truly hope he doesn’t hate you, and you think that this might be your biggest fear.

That the only man that has ever truly believed in you, that the man that you love could hate you, even if he has all the reasons in the world to and you wouldn’t blame him if he did. 

Now is not the time to think about it, because you've been assigned and sent on a mission with him, and you're kinda thankful it's not the kind of mission that only requires two people and you just happen to be paired with him – you're thankful people are with you for this one.

It should be an easy mission, you just have to get something back.

A smuggler had stolen something that was supposed to get sent to the Resistance, but the guy happened to be tougher and more skilled than expected, and the logical solution to get back up on this was to get the Resistance itself.

You’re making your way through a quiet alley bathed in darkness, following the target from a distance, observing each of his movements to calculate how you could get an opening so you could get to him and steal – no, get back what’s yours.

Your group has split up, everyone trying to join the guy from different points and accesses across the area. 

If all goes well you can surround him in case you don’t have the opportunity to attack before, and technically he shouldn’t be able to get away, at least not until you have taken back what he has stolen.

You're doing pretty good so far, the guy hasn’t noticed he is being followed, so you have been able to gradually get closer and you're so close to being able to attack and if you could just shoot him in the leg and get back what's yours–

You're suddenly and abruptly yanked out from the main alley, and even before you can react at what’s happening and scream in surprise and fear, a hand pushes over and blocks your mouth, the other hand wrapping tight around your waist, your back pressed flush against your assailant's chest as their own back rests against the wall of the small, secluded alley you’ve been pulled in.

Your eyes look around in fear, your head unable to move, blocked by the strong hand covering your mouth; you want to scream, trying to wriggle out of whoever's grasp you're trapped in, panic starting to creep up your chest, until–

"Calm down, don't panic, it's only me." the soft and gentle whisper of Poe's voice in your ear makes you relax in his grasp, waves of relief washing over you. "He knows that we're following him, he was waiting for you to get closer to trap you" he explains, and you start to loosen up when his hand leaves your mouth and he lets go of you. “Sorry I scared you”

“Thank you” you nod as you face him, your hands resting over your knees as you catch your breath from the sudden rush of fear and adrenaline.

Your eyes widen and you look back at Poe when you hear a fight starting not so far away from where you are, shouts and sounds of blasters firing.

“I’ll go” he declares, hastily taking off his jacket. “Stay there and keep this for me, will you? You were shivering while I was holding you” he smirks teasingly, throwing you his leather jacket.

You chuckle as you catch and look down at the piece of cloth, and he waits for you to put it on to shoot you a smile before leaving, not even giving you time to beg him to be careful and not do anything stupid.

At least you’re now certain that he most definitely does not hate you.

—

Poe is sitting in the grass on a hill not so far away from base, looking up at the starry sky, just enjoying the fresh air of D'Qar. It feels nice after the particularly busy and tiring day he just had, his muscles still sore and tense from the mission, especially the muscles joining his neck and shoulders. 

“Hey” the sudden sound of your voice tears him out of his thoughts, and he even thinks he hallucinated it before he turns to you.

“Hey” he pinches a smile as he looks up at you.

“I wanted to give you your jacket back” you say as you look down at the jacket you’re currently wearing, and you must admit that you’re a bit reluctant at the idea of having to give it back – it smells just like him, a mix of his natural comforting scent and his aftershave, and it feels like the closest you’ve ever been to him in your life.

“Oh. No need to, you can keep it, you look good in it” he smiles wide, and you scoff softly.

"Alright. Can I?” you ask, referring to sitting down next to him.

“Hm? Sure” he nods, patting on the grass. You sit down next to him and watch him as he looks in front of him, admiring the view extending before him. The sky is pretty, the stars are especially bright tonight.

"Thank you again for earlier. And… I'm sorry for even earlier" you say, and his gaze drops down to his lap. "I'm sorry I was being an asshole and I made you feel like an idiot just because I don't know how to deal with my emotions." He looks back up in front of him, and you're scared when he doesn’t say anything and just stares ahead, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "Can you forgive me?"

His face turns to you, and he nods, a pinched, awkward smile over his face. "Of course. Of course I can"

You can't help a relieved smile from forming over your face, and you look at the stars for a moment before looking back at him. He looks almost heavenly, bathed in the stars' light.

“You know I love you, right? Poe, please tell me you do.” you ask, almost beg, still scared that he could believe the opposite. 

"I do. I know it" he nods softly, looking at you. He pauses before continuing, as if he was thinking of the right words to say. "But I don't want you to feel forced to be with me if you're not ready yet" he continues, and his hand rests over your thigh as he looks at you sternly, wanting to show you that he means it.

Your heart sinks at how considerate he is, even after how you've been treating him, but you're not even surprised; he's the kindest, most gentle man you've ever met, you have always known this.

"I can wait for you, and I will, I'm not going anywhere." he looks down at your thigh when your hand covers his, and he looks back up at you. "I mean it."

It shouldn't have the effect it has, because you've never wanted him as much as you do now, but you have been wanting him for long anyways so it doesn't really change anything. 

“I’m terrified of losing you.” you mutter under your breath, saying this as if you were justifying yourself though you know you don’t have to.

“And why would you lose me?” he asks, almost sure it's a rhetorical question, his hand moving so it could grab yours. His fingers intertwine with yours and the gesture makes a chill run down your spine, you're sure it's not the fresh breeze of the night.

“You’re the most impulsive and reckless person I’ve ever met, Poe. That might simultaneously be your biggest blessing and flaw” you smile softly.

He scoffs. “But I’m also the best pilot in the Resistance, so…” he tries to reassure you with a fake sly smirk, for once, holding tighter onto your hand. “Trust me, will you? I know it’s hard for you, I know what you’ve gone through and I know what you're scared of but I promise you that we’ll be okay.” he nods, and you happen to believe him, he is able to do that.

"You don't have to wait for me, then" you declare, your head resting over his shoulder. He smiles as he wraps an arm around your shoulders, leaving a kiss at the top of your head before his rests over yours.

You will love him anyways, you will be terrified anyways, and if you have to live with the fear that everything could stop suddenly, you would rather do it by his side.

—

if this flops and if I get no feedback on this I will scream, cry, break something and consider retiring from writing so if you've read all of this please give me feedback or a comment or a reblog I'm literally begging you on my knees........

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[holybibly]

Divine Rosa  ❢ot8xreader❣ 

❣ Pairing: yandere!otx8 x reader ❣ Genre: Dark Romance, vampire au, angst, horror, yandere au, smut ❣ Summary: The moth always pours itself into the flame; what a pity that in the end it burns out. After the tragic death of her sister, MС tries to find answers to the questions she left behind. This leads her to a gated cottage town known for its luxurious rose gardens. In addition, there are also these mysterious men who manage all the affairs in the city. Too sweet, too helpful, too intrusive, and too in love. ❣ WARNING: only!18+ Themes of death, suicide, severe depression, stalking, blood, yandere behavior. ❣ Disclaimer: I don't support yandere behavior, stalking, or religious imposition. Themes include violence, obsession, possessiveness, and emotional or psychological manipulation. This book is intended solely for entertainment purposes.

English is not my native language, so if you see any mistakes, please let me know.

Published on AO3 like FleurRi

❣ Prologue: Roses scarlet like blood ❣

 Every story has a beginning: a magical, inexplicable moment—an elusive contact between reality and dreams. When thoughts emerge from the edge of consciousness, a stream of colorless letters appears on the parchment of our fate, eventually becoming an event. Life's intersections, fragments of various plots, are continuously repeated, lost, or deliberately forgotten. They are like unwritten melodies; the echo of their angelic voices follows us through life, like the bright tent of a wandering circus that incessantly makes noise. is full of tinsel, and raves with dreams.

  There are millions of them. No. Billions, like the sleeping stars, sway peacefully on the sky-blue wire; their scattered light tells the wayward souls the way in the velvet folds of the night's darkness. These are our memories. Some are dazzlingly bright, as fresh as summer breezes, while others are barely flickering, covered in the marble ashes of time and a diamond crumb of emotion. And they all live so far away and at the same time prohibitively close together, there, in the labyrinth of the underground sky and on the endless roads of the blood rivers, where it is impossible to find them: in our memory.

  Just as a pebble thrown into the ocean sinks into the murky depths, so does memory. Drowning into the viscous muddy depths without a bottom, in that rich and uncharted area that we call “oblivion,” it sinks in time. And few of us have been given the opportunity to preserve living images of memories of the feelings we have ever experienced: to drown in the bittersweet water of sorrow and joy; to fill our consciousness to the brim, like a vessel with golden honey, with the feelings of pain and keen passion, and to die. Die happy. The greatest privilege of all.

  Seconds, minutes, days, and years—colorful fragments of time; sharp crumbs scattered under our feet. Unlike us, those who plunge into eternal sleep, our memories that have insidiously dissolved in ink in our blood will not disappear. They fear death, flee from it, and hide in the thick of the earth that blossoms with fluttering glass, forget-me-nots and drunken petunias that, in their intoxicating happiness, kiss the eyelashes of the blind God. You hear them whisper, “I’ll never forget you…”

  My story begins with an innocent question that I’m sure you’ve heard more than once: “Do you like roses?”

  Once upon a time, I would have answered, "Yes, I love roses." But, as it turns out, all our words are followed by consequences, and small rosy spikes can be much more dangerous than they seem at first glance, just like in the fairy tales that we were told in childhood.   You know, there are things that we might call fatal: people who decide other people’s lives as long as they reach out to them like they're God. And then there are the flowers, which keep the mysteries tenebrous and ancient.   I'm almost a hundred years old, maybe more. I should start my story right now; this is the perfect moment.

  I will tell you about who I once was and who I am now. I will tell you about love, which is akin to obsession, and the death of her faithful friend. I will also tell you about the people, ghosts, or maybe illusions that were around me. They were with me once…   Now, there are others, but they’ll be in my story later. They will come into my life with a chorus of angelic voices; the sound of a heavy autumn downpour, and the pretentious solemnity of death. Yeah, they’ll be there, though, if you think about it, they were always there, from my first breath to my last breath, by my side.   But I’m forgetting what’s important.   I have to tell you about the roses, and only about them.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

Mina's long hair shimmered like luxurious silk under the early morning light. Bloody strands fell in curled doll curls onto her bare shoulders, as if in Baroque paintings. The lush blossoms of white roses woven together in her hair made her look like the ancient Greek goddess of spring.   Her appearance has always been astonishing, blatantly perfect rather than real, but that was sometime in the past. Now she was like a pale ghost of herself, a blurry reflection on a black surface of water on a moonlit night. The only thing that reminded her of her former beauty was her hair, which remained perfectly groomed and scarlet, like blood. Oh yeah, there are still roses.  These flowers… there was something unnatural about them, something otherworldly. Each petal was painfully perfect, as if made of satin. But the flowers were real; they were alive and breathing and too demanding. It seemed that just because they wanted this, Mina could wear them in her hair. It was their choice, not hers.  “Do you like roses, Rosa?” · · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

This is the moment when my life changed forever. If I had known that this innocent question would be the beginning of my end, but can this be called the end? Would my answer have been different?

  I’ve thought about it a thousand times. Over and over again, I played this scene like a broken record, crossed my answer out of the script, wrote a new one, and made comments and footnotes, but…   But the answer was the same. I couldn’t change anything; it was destined. Much later, when I fall asleep in a warm bed, I will feel a gentle kiss on my closed eyelids and hear San’s angelic voice whisper in my ear that fate is never wrong. That they would find me or that I would come to them does not matter; in the end, we would still be together in life and in death. In eternity.

  I’ll come back to that later, I promise. In the meantime, I’ll continue. · · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

“They’re beautiful, Mina, but I don’t like them anymore.”  I sounded terribly rude from the outside, and I could see Mina’s eyes filled with tears, as if I had slapped her.

 “But Rosa!” Mina reached out her pale arms to me. “Look how perfect they are; don’t you care about their beauty? Doesn’t your heart beat faster when you look at them? O Rosa, these flowers are special; they never wilt.” She shook her head, as if confirming her words. “Yeosang gave them to me before I left” Her long, thin fingers reaching for the white rosebuds in her hair. “I want to give you one.” Hooking the flower, Mina gently pulled it out of her curls and stretched it towards me. I didn't have the desire to accept her gift; something in her behavior and her voice caused me anxiety. And there was this name: Yeosang. It wasn’t the first time I heard it, but it was a long time ago, and I still remember that Mina mentioned others with that name: Hongjoong, San, and Mingi. They sounded familiar to me as a song once learned by heart. She pronounced them in a special way: with a gentle intonation and an exciting euphoria. As if it had been repeated countless times at the same completely new to her.  All I could hear was the echo of that song, which came along with those names in the conversation. It was an ominous echo, like an impending, inevitable storm. Mina was still holding out a rose, and I looked at her hands. Arms with a faint web of blue veins that looked like dried stems of faint flowers. For some reason, I came up with the idea of sirens holding out their hands to pirates while their voices led them into the welcome embrace of death. Did they look like Mina’s hands now?

I remember these hands weaving long pearl threads into my hair during festivals. I remember the feeling of intertwined fingers as Mina led me down the dark corridors of my grandmother's old house. I remember them gently wiping my tears when I was rubbing my feet until I bled in ballet class.

I remember the touch of those hands… I know him. These cold fingers that so carefully hold the snow-white flower no longer belong to my sister. Their touch changed, becoming foreign and distant, as did the mysterious land where these perfect, never-fading roses grew.

Didn’t that sound like a fairy tale? Just in our history, there has been no magic mirror, no Queen-Witch whose crown shines like a star, and no apple full of poison, but there is a coffin of shimmering crystal, and a prince that sleeps in it. Of course, there are also roses—thousands of roses.

“Rosa” Mina turned to me again. “Please take them; you will surely love them. Just try to feel them…”

She put a flower in my hands. The drops of nectar froze on the wax petals, and the first rays of the dawn sun made them sparkle like diamonds. “This variety is special.” Her voice sounded soft. “It's called the Deva-Rosa. I want to show you where they grow. It’s so beautiful. I want you to come with me, Rosa. We’ll be there together, you and me.” Mina smiled dazzlingly, but something was wrong with that smile. The once-sensual kiss lips were painfully curved, the corners awfully lifted, like the forever-frozen smile of a Venetian mask, and the warm pink shade was gone.

I was always jealous of her lips. They were so tender, plump, and enticing. All her features attracted attention, but it was her lips that made Mina's beauty unique.

She shone like the sun, easily becoming the center of everyone's attention—a beautiful white swan. The main heroine of the story. 

Then there was me, only a shadow of her perfection—gloomy and pale as the moon, the complete opposite of the burning heat and the sexuality of my sister. Unlike Mina's, my features were not sensual and breathtaking; no, they were old-fashioned, like those of a porcelain doll. I didn’t find myself ugly or unattractive; just ordinary. One of a hundred million. The classic tragic heroine of a Gothic novel, someone like me, doesn’t make it to the finale.

Now looking at Mina, I can no longer see her life; her fire has almost been extinguished, leaving embers smoldering. And only her hair, like a burning sunset, was the only bright spot in her appearance. They crimson her white dress like blood rivers in the snow. 

 “Rosa, come with me.” The touch of her hands was icy and gave me a nasty shiver. It wasn’t Mina anymore. “Let's go, please. We can admire roses together. We can be together, Rosa. Remember what we promised each other when we were kids? Forever.”   Mina leaned towards me with her whole body, completely trespassing into my space, and with her intimacy came the suffocating, sugary smell of roses. It was a thick, enveloping aroma that instantly sat in the lungs. I thought that if I breathed it in deeper, these strange, unnatural flowers would sprout in my veins, intertwine with my bones, and create a new home for themselves in my body.

 “No!” I exclaimed, pushing Mina away from me. “I don’t want that, Mina. I don’t want you or those freaking roses in my life.”

  Suddenly on my feet, I took a few steps away from the pale Mina, who was staring at a rose that had fallen to the ground. Her posture was as vulnerable as that of a wounded animal, and her limp arms reached for the flower, which, surprisingly, began to darken and fade, touching the ground.   In her eyes, once radiant with happiness and dreaming, stood tears, and her lips began to tremble. It was as if a child whose beloved toy had been mercilessly abused had fallen to her knees, picked up a dying bud, and, in despair, pinned it to her lips.

“How can you be so cruel, Rosa?” Mina whispered, her lips gently touching the petals. “You hurt them; it breaks their heart. Can’t you just accept their love? Accept the roses?” She continued to kiss the petals.

 “What are you talking about, Mina? Whose love should I accept?” I asked cautiously. Her behavior began to frighten me.

 “You must give yourself to them, Rosa; I must give you to them.” Mina ignored my question, methodically kissing a faded flower. His dead petals began to fall away, slowly, baring his heart. “O Rosa, the rose is a rose; the rose is a deva; the deva is a rose; is a rose.”

 “Mina!” I called her by her name in an alarm. The entire situation had me in a state of primitive terror.   Mina began slowly swaying from side to side in time to your words, all the while continuing to say, “Rose is a rose, the rose is a deva.” It was meaningless, like the ravings of a madman.  The words were repeated in an endless circle, like a prayer or a ritual chant. Mina’s voice grew louder, higher, and higher until it broke, and abruptly she stopped all movement, standing there like a graceful statue.

  Once I admired her every move; now I want to cover my eyes so I never have to see her again.   What happened after became the most traumatic thing in my life. I can never forget it, no matter how much I want it. It seemed to be imprinted on my eyelids, and even after closing my eyes in my sleep, I couldn’t get rid of those memories.

  Her movements were fleeting, like the wings of a butterfly. Here she is before me, tense and waiting, and then her throat crosses a ragged line, and blood rushes through her body like a waterfall.

  Eyes shining from tears are wide open and so resemble smooth black pearls, and lips are opened as if waiting for a kiss.   For a second, Mina's body stretched like a thin string and then softened, falling on the grass.   I heard someone start screaming; the sound was so deafening and heartbreaking that I wanted to curl up in a ball and cover my ears with my hands, so I couldn’t hear.

  I found myself screaming. I needed to call for help; I had to call an ambulance, and I had to try to help her. Put my arms around her neck and cover her gaping red velvet wound.

  But I was yelling about something else instead.   My name is not Rosa; you hear me, Mina!   I am not her. · · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

I awoke in a frenzy, sweating profusely and with a wildly pounding heart from an endlessly recurring nightmare.

 This dream has haunted me for months since Mina’s funeral. Night after night, I have lived this sunrise over and over again. I didn’t like morning anymore; I started avoiding sunlight and hiding in the velvet folds of the night, sharing my loneliness with the darkness. I made the moon my friend, and the stars my silent witnesses.

  My memory is folded paper, folded a thousand times. Sometimes, I want to unwrap it, but not completely: open the brittle edges of the fragile sashes, smooth out the folds and creases with my fingers, spread out the time sequence. Unwrap it just a little, and then fold again, mixing letters and days, reality and dreams. I never want to open the pages where the memories of that morning are stored. Every time I get almost to the end, moments before the final, I run away to the safety of happy days.

  I try to come up with a new ending to this story, a different ending, but the dream comes to me like a cat, gently calling me into its embrace, and I find myself again in a place I don’t want to be.

  It’s early in the morning, and the sun is just rising above the horizon, shimmering like a limitless purple-pink ocean.

 In Mina’s crimson hair are snow-white roses, and her dress looks like an intricately woven ruffle and lace. Her pale hands holding flowers, her puffy lips in a painful smile, and her bare feet—the ground must be cold since it was the middle of October.  Her blood… and the roses.   And if it were possible to personify hatred and death, then for me, it would be roses.

  I hated and despised these flowers with all my heart. They brought only sorrow and gloominess into my life. The beautiful symbol of mourning solemnity.   They started it. They ended it all.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·

I was sixteen when Mina first called me Rosa. One January afternoon, she came home with a basket of the most gorgeous flowers I’ve ever seen in my life. Scarlet like the blood of a rose, they were magnificent and perfect. From that day on, I became Rosa. Why did Mina start calling me that? She never spoke.   But she completely forgot my real name. For the whole world, I was now Rosa.   After this case, every day in our small apartment, the roses became more and more numerous, until every inch of free space was filled with scarlet buds. Their smell was suffocating, thick, and sticky like honey. It is absorbed into the skin, hair, and dissolved in the blood. It made me dizzy and nauseous, and I could taste it on my tongue with every breath.   But it wasn’t just a smell. It was a color that screamed “red,” like blood itself. It poured over our house, coloring the entire apartment in a disturbing shade.

  After that, every day in our house, the roses became more and more numerous until they filled all the surrounding space.

  Soon, they became so numerous that our house looked like a tomb filled with scarlet petals hanging from the ceiling. We've been arranging here with all honors, breathing in a haze as imperceptible as rose-scented mist. 

  In all the time I lived there, not a single flower withered. It was frightening and exciting at the same time. Day followed night, and night gave way to day; but no petal lost its pristine beauty, and no bud bowed its heavy head in sorrow. There was not a single bouquet that would dilute this velvet sea with its mourning black.

  And if that did happen, Mina cried long and hard over these flowers and blamed herself for not saving them. At night, I heard the sound of her apologies and her fanatical prayers. 

  Whether she prayed to God or to the Devil, I couldn't tell. I'll find out for whom these prayers were intended many years later.

  Roses were always sent with a postcard and a box of expensive chocolates with some intricate filling. The box was necessarily in the form of a heart. The signature was also one; once the unchanged calligraphic handwriting deduced only one phrase, “For you,”

  Mina never told me who gave her these magic flowers or why the roses didn’t wither.

  I tried to ask her these questions several times, but she only brushed them off, throwing her long hair from one shoulder to the other and angrily declaring, “You must love them; you don't need to know more.”

 Mina also dyed her hair scarlet, like roses.

  I couldn’t take it anymore. Constantly surrounded by these flowers was unbearable, and one day I packed up all my things and moved in with a friend, leaving Mina alone in her regal rosary.

  My first night away from home, away from the roses and Mina, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned anxiously in bed hour after hour; but the dream never came, and then the phone rang. Mina called. Crying, she begged to come home, and when I asked her why, she barely whispered, “The roses are wilted.”

  I hung up, and Mina never called me again. Two years had passed. My life had changed, and I think my luck had smiled. I found wonderful friends who were eccentric and bright. I had a great and caring boyfriend, and the internship at ballet school was promising. Everything worked out perfectly, and there were no more roses.

 Until my twentieth birthday, a huge bleeding bouquet of scarlet roses tied with topaz-embroidered ribbon appeared in my new apartment. The candy box was heart-shaped, and the caption read, “For You.”

  I burned the bouquet, threw out the chocolate, and tore the note apart, and blew it to the wind.

  No one was supposed to see or know.   Even me.    Exactly eight days after these flowers appeared, I got a call from former neighbors in the apartment complex Mina was still living in.   I was urged to come and deal with the situation; the smell of rot and death was unbearable, and Mina didn't open the doors or answer the phone.   I opened the door with my key. Opening it wide, I crossed the threshold and could not contain a short scream. All the once-luxurious roses had rotted, dripping thick, stinking jugs on the floor and accumulating in gleaming poisonous lakes. Every corner of the space was occupied by large vases with black velvet buds and tall candles. After my move, Mina got rid of all the furniture, leaving only the big bed, which was now covered with dried stems strewn with thorns.

 This place was like a grave — cold and dark — where my sister was supposed to rest.   Going deeper, I found no hint of Mina's presence. Absolutely nothing.     Only putrid roses and an empty heart-shaped box.

  Mina was gone. For a whole year, I tried to find her without success. Old friends, distant relatives, acquaintances, and any other connections she might have ever had—I checked everything, but there was nothing to help me find her. It’s like she never existed.

 In the two years we’ve been apart, I didn’t know anything about her. Mina didn’t call, and when I tried to contact her, she would reply with a short message, always the same: "Roses have wilted; come back." just like the night I left her.

  All Mina had ever thought about since that unfortunate January day were these sinister roses.

  The police began an investigation. Two years after her disappearance, Mina became officially missing.

  And a year after that, she showed up at my door in the twilight of the fall morning, barefoot, in a sophisticated lace dress with a rose crown on her head. From the Mina that I knew, all that remained was her hair—long, silky, and crimson like blood and roses.

  She still kept calling me Rosa, calling me out, and promising that we’d be happy together. That it will be only us, forever. She promised to show me where these strange flowers bloom, which she called the Deva-Rose, although these were not her words, but those of someone distant and unfamiliar to me, Hongjoong.

  And then...then Mina died. The dawn painted her body in pink shades, flooded the grass with sparkling gold, and dyed the white roses of her crown scarlet. She slit her throat. Ragged a sharp spike into it. As it turned out, even the tiniest rose spikes were deadly.   It was a nightmarish and, at the same time, majestic end to her story.   The image of Mina haunts me in dreams even now—this distant gaze in her pearly eyes and a complete absence of fear of death. No, Mina wasn't afraid. She welcomed death as an old friend, graciously opening her arms.

  It was her exodus.   I remember screaming loudly. Blood thundered in my ears, and tears flowed in an endless crystal stream. I screamed that my name wasn’t Rosa; that I wasn’t her, and never would be.

  Her funeral was truly a royal one. Rain and thunder rattle in the sky, as if raising a toast in her honor. The flat haloes of the black umbrellas swayed peacefully as the guests made their sorrowful speeches.

  Mina seemed to fall asleep, dressed in an old-fashioned wedding dress, lying there like a princess, drowning in thousands of roses.   The flowers were brought at dawn. Their color was deep and dark, as if every petal was filled with the gloaming of the night. They mourned with me.   But I knew better. It wasn’t the end; it was the beginning.  Death follows life in an endless cycle of rebirth. When one flower fades, plant a new one.  Back home that night, I found a black envelope at my door, sealed with a monogram wax seal.

  It lacked an address and the sender's signature. The message was clear and concise. "I live for you, my Rosa."

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·   I went to the window and opened the curtains with my newfound determination. It’s time to stop being afraid and run away. Whatever it is, I’ll find out what happened to Mina. Let her start it all, but I’ll be the one to finish the story.   The last surviving girl.

· · • • • ✤ • • • · ·   How naive I was then, how stupid. The moth always flies to the flame, attracted by the warm fluttering light; he himself goes to his death.

I was that moth. Without realizing it, I came to my inevitable fate, which has been waiting for me for centuries, maybe longer. Their hands have stretched out since the darkest times, when the light didn't exist, and the Devil was as real as you and I. At that time, everyone knew his face, felt his hot breath on his skin.   The story I’m going to tell you isn't going to be bright and sweet; we’re going to go down to hell and come back. I'll take you through the dark woods to the horrors of uncharted lands where barefoot priestesses rock their sharp teeth in alluring smiles. I will take you to the castle where the prince rests in a crystal coffin and make you drink wine that tastes like blood.

  Now I have to ask you, "Are you afraid of the dark and what’s hidden in it?"   But my question is, "Love, do you like roses?"

[nekohime19]

Heart behind the lie # 14 : without you

Wukong has a rough time without Mac

Sun Wukong was tossing and turning inside of his sheets, pearls of sweat clinging to his fur like starving flees. The night wasn't young, the moon was already falling out of its throne, a dimming light that tenderly veiled the earth. He wasn't asleep, nor was he awake. He was in the in-between, in the frontière of irreality and reality, an indecisive state that was neither restful, nor peaceful. 

He could hear the whispers of the witch echoing inside of his ears, her words never leaving him even after her death, only kept at bay by the warm hold of the warrior. Her breath was freezing, cruel words etched on his very heart. Promises of pain, but also of rest, of everything he feared and longed for at the same time. Every time he closed his eyes, he could feel her fingers grazing his fur, her breath nipping at the shell of his ears. Not seeing in front of him gave room for his mind to conjure up her face, to imagine her ghost hovering above him. 

It wasn't always this intense, the first few nights without Macaque weren't the best, but they weren't horrible by any means. The feeling of the other was still very present, enough to calm his fretting mind. But as the days passed, as the scent of his moon disappeared from his couch, her image came more and more often, until he couldn't let himself fall asleep, afraid to fall prey to her clutches. 

He knew she wasn't there, that she was lost to oblivion, that she ceased to roam this world. But the fear lingered, it was in the quietest nights, the darkest of all, that he cowered the most, feeling scared without the light of the day. As shameful as it was, he began to leave a few nightlights, chasing the dark away, candles littered his bedroom, leaving no places for shadows. But even then, he was still afraid. 

People always said you only really missed something when you lost it, and they were right. He always appreciated the care his moon showered him in these last weeks, but never realized how much he needed it until he found himself alone in the heart of the night. He thought he was entirely healed, unwounded by the possession, he fooled himself, not willing to see the wounds etched on his mind. 

The great sage sighed, he left his sheets and dragged himself out of his nest. He took a single strand of hair and created a clone, then he went on the couch and curled on himself. The clone wordlessly went to hug him, magic-created arms circling him like his moon did before. Sun Wukong closed his eyes, imagining Macaque in the place of the clone, trying to fool his senses, and somewhat failing at it considering the warrior's scent was too faint. He smothered the chirps falling out of his lips in the clone’s chest, not willing to be this weak. He had the sudden urge to run out of his shack and call for the ebony monkey, searching for him in the dead of the night, but he repressed it. 

Macaque didn't want to see him. He made that very clear this last week, leaving not a single trace of him for the sage, hiding from him. It was almost as if the warrior was a ghost roaming his mountain, he would find footprints, sometimes places with his scent, or some strand of his fur, but he never found him. 

Sun Wukong didn't sleep tonight yet again, when dawn came, slipping through the windows, he let out a relieved sigh, happy that this hellish time was over. He made the clone disappear with a flick of wrist and left the couch, weekly nibbling on lingering peaches, the sweetness chasing away the bitterness of his night. 

The kid was going to come in the late morning, he couldn't look so disheveled, he didn't want to worry him. The great sage locked himself in his bathroom and looked at the reflection dancing in the mirror. He looked rough, eyes circled by a deep black, fur all over the place, glamours slipping here and there, revealing scars and white strands he usually kept hidden. The King frowned, not liking to see something so pitiful. He took a deep breath and dived in the gaze of his reflection. 

"Come on, get a hold of yourself." Muttered the sage, trying to stop his hands from shaking, scarred by another night cowering. "You've dealt with all your problems alone till now, it's not one week with someone that'll change that." The golden monkey tried to reign in his feelings, to chase away his fear and the memory of her. But it was no use, each time he closed his eyes, flashes of her cruel smile passed through his mind. The King cursed, and tried again to empty his head, to pretend that those cowering nights never existed. His hands didn't stop shaking, when he opened his eyes again, the only thing he saw was his pitiful reflection. Sun Wukong growled, in a fit of rage he punched the mirror, shattering his image. Cracks spread through the glass, scarring the tired face of his reflection, some shards fell in the sink, others nipped at his flesh, drawing blood. "Fuck." 

Sun Wukong picked up the shards, not caring about the state of his hand, and threw it in a nearby trash can. 

"I need a shower." Sighed the sage, he undressed himself, his scarred hand already healing itself, something as pathetic as glass not strong enough to wound him for life. He sat in his bathtub and drowned himself in warm water, trying to wash away the lingering feelings of her, the ghost of her breath grazing his skin. 

Once showered, he reapplied his glamors with a flick of hand, hiding any knots and imperfections behind well-crafted illusion, returning to his perfect, heroish self. He returned to the couch, trying to tell himself he didn't spend a lot more time on it because of Macaque's ghostly memory. He drowned his mind with silly shows, dutifully avoiding Monkey King : the animated series, and waited until his kid showed up. 

Some of his subjects came to him, voicing some worries about his tendency to stay inside these last days. They had been overjoyed when they learnt of his awakening, drowning him in coos and pets, but their joy was short-lived, replaced by worry the second they saw past his crumbling front. They brought the freshest fruits, organized the longest, warmest groomings and tried to sleep with him at night, to invite him into their nest. But as sweet as they were, their touch could only soothe one part of his heart. Moreover, Sun Wukong didn't want them to see him cowering at night. Even if he loved them dearly, he was still their King, he couldn't let himself be weak in front of them. 

MK arrived at the promised hour, and the King left all his somber musing behind, greeting his mentee with a blinding smile. 

"Monkey King!! How are you doing? Everything alright? You should really see a doctor! Maybe I should bring you to Red Son and-" 

"Hey, hey, bud."Chuckled the sage, he caught himself before he could ruffle the kid's hair, still hesitant to touch him, still thinking he hurt him in one way or another in his feral state (he noticed the kid was wearing long leaves around him, something he never did before). "I'm okay. I'm the Monkey King, remember ? Invincible and all!"

"But still…"

"Really, I'm fine! Anyway, it's been a long time since our last training, you're up to it?" MK lightened up like a thousand stars, he almost jumped on site. 

"But are you sure?"

"Totally! Besides I need to exercise a bit, all those belly scratches made me soft."

MK snickered at that, and left outside with a skip in his step. Sun Wukong opted for a light training, some basic footwork that wouldn't tire the kid out. He didn't want to do any spar for now, scared of the way MK flinched the last time he approached him, but also scared that his mentee would notice his lack of sleep. Sun Wukong did the exercises with the kid this time, instead of looking down at him from his cloud like he did before LBD. MK seemed much more receptive to his teaching when the sage was sweating with him, and Sun Wukong couldn't help but feel bad for the way he treated his mentee before. 

He never thought he would learn from the kid, but yet here he was, changing his eons-old ways because of a mortal. Life was truly unpredictable, he should have known that with how much he lived, and yet he was still surprised. 

They took a break after a few hours, lazing in the soft sun-drenched grass beside the shack, veiled by a comfortable silence. 

"Are you really fine?" Suddenly asked the kid, Sun Wukong turned towards him, his heart nipped by guilt. 

"I'm…" he repressed the “I'm fine” wanting to burn his lips and replied : "I manage."

"…Do you miss Macaque?" This was a loaded question, and Sun Wukong wasn't ready to be this upfront, especially since his feelings were a mess. 

"Hm… I do wonder what he's doing but… well…"

"I don't think he's fine." Sighed the kid, the sage straightened at that. 

"Why do you think so?" 

"He's been really gloomy."

"You talk to him?" Tentatively asked the King, trying to look disinterested, and failing at it. 

"Yeah, I visit him when I come here. He usually finds me first." The King immediately smothered the jealous pang tearing his heart, this wasn't the moment for petty feelings. 

"Oh… He likes it on the mountain ? Because, you know, I'm the King here and all so…I wanna know." 

"Well, I do think he's happy to be here. But I think he struggles with believing he's welcomed here, trust issues and all, he has a lot of those." Grumbled MK. 

"Hm, so he's not…sick or something ? Or need magic ?" 

"How do you…" MK cut himself with an award cough. "Right…Well, I can't tell you the details, because it's Macaque personal life, but… I'm kinda worried… I’m keeping an eye on him."

"Yeah, you do that. Tell me if he's unwell." MK looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and an impish smile. 

"Oh? You care about him?"

"Wha–pfff, me ? Nah, I just… you know he's technically a monkey, and I'm the Monkey King sooo, he's like my responsibility."

"Huh, you're really not convincing."

"Whatever you're imagining in this silly head of yours, it's wrong." Huffed the sage as he crossed his arms. 

"Yeah, because you totally didn't lie about your health to spend time with him." Sun Wukong stuttered, cheeks flaming, he looked at his mentee with an outraged face. 

"This was totally different!"

"Never thought you'd be this much in denial." Snickered MK like a little menace. 

"I'm not– it's a complicated situation."

"Yeaaah, I'm gonna believe that for your sake." Chuckled the boy with a silly smile. 

"What is this, “bully your mentor” day?" 

"More like a “training”day! Come on, Monkey King!" Cheered the boy as he sprang on his feet, Sun Wukong sighed and followed after him with a soft smile. 

"Hey, be more considerate of my old bones." Playfully groaned the sage as he stretched his arms. 

"Come on! I can give you belly scratches after if you want, except if you only like Macaque's one." Snickered the boy. 

"You little–" Spluttered the King as he chased after the giggling kid. 

When the kid left, the sage didn't feel like returning inside. The weather was nice, and the soft burn of his muscles felt good, for once he wasn't wallowing in raging feelings. He left the water-curtain cave and took a stroll, whistling lightly and greeting the monkeys he saw on his way. Sometimes, he wandered off his way, tempted by the residual scent of his moon, but he always shook it off, not wanting to lose himself. He could see traces of Macaque, and while it soothed something, it also burned. 

The sage sat on a cliff and watched the sun fall, he didn't try to sleep that night, knowing it would be useless. The dark was as terrifying as always, her memory returning the second the sun disappeared. But the stars littering the sky above him were comforting. Sun Wukong laid back, eyes lost in the sky, and breathed in the night. He was still scared, still unwell, but he felt slightly better than the night before. And maybe that was all that truly mattered. 

The next few days passed quickly, peaceful and tiring at the same time. Some nights were rougher than others, sometimes he cried till his voice broke, sometimes he just let his thoughts glide over him, observing them without being pulled by their rage. 

In one particularly rough night, he bolted out of his house, feeling too smothered inside of his own walls. He ran outside, trying to chase away his memories, the feeling of her ice, the sounds of her lies, the scent of her magic. Other memories merged with her image, times of pain. Her whispers merged with the taste of liquid iron, the feeling of her ice merging with the furnace’s fire. Everything was a blur of pain, he felt overwhelmed.

He unconsciously followed the scent of the warrior, and laid in a warm patch of grass shaped like him, under a towering tree, probably the place Macaque napped a few hours ago. He curled on himself, trying to hide his stuttering breath, trying to merge with the shape of the warrior printed on the grass. He felt ashamed to be reduced to this, he thought everything was going well, but everytime he succeeded in chasing away his fear, it came back with a vengeance. 

Why was he even trying to feel better at this point ? What was the point of trying to be better if he will always fall prey to his inner demons ? 

"Get a hold of yourself, Wukong, this is pathetic." Grumbled the sage, tiring of his own self. 

He stilled when he heard a very familiar step in his back. The sage slowly rose, heart hammering, and his breath stuttered when he saw who was standing behind him. 

Macaque wasn't looking at him, tail tied on his leg, scowl ever so present, he approached him and sat a few meters away. Close enough to be heard, but far enough to not be touched. Sun Wukong didn't know what to do, the mere sight of the other was messing with his heart, longing and anger beating in tandem inside of him. 

"I…what are you doing here?" Muttered the sage, he immediately belittled himself, this was a stupid thing to say. 

"The kid is organizing a recovery party. He wanted me to tell you." Whispered the macaque, his arms were tightly crossed in front of his chest, as he was protecting something from being seen, his heart, perhaps.

"Oh." Sun Wukong couldn't keep his disappointment out of his voice. "You… I see. You want me to leave? I mean it's your spot and… I’m gonna leave." Awkwardly sighed the sage. 

"Wait!" Squeaked the warrior, Sun Wukong immediately stilled, halting himself and sitting properly. Macaque sighed and put a hand on his face. "I… I wanna talk."

"Okay." Muttered the sage. "About what?" 

"Are you serious? What do tout think I wanna talk about?" Grumbled the macaque. 

"There is a lot to talk about with us."

"I wanna talk about the recents events." Sighed the warrior. 

"Okay."

"… I'm angry you lied, I feel used and I have…trouble…believing you did it for any other reason than to make fun of me."

"I didn't… I didn't do it because I wanted to make fun of you. It's just… I needed it, I still do."

"I know, but it's hard to believe that. It's also hard to believe you want me here." Admitted the warrior as he looked down. 

"I…I do want you here…" the macaque tightened his hold on himself. "Did you come here just to tell me that?" 

"I–no, but it's…why is this so hard?" 

"Feelings suck." Macaque snorted at that and Sun Wukong brightened up. 

"Yeah. This is kinda stupid. I'm stupid."

"I… you're not stupid, I'm glad you came to me. Those last nights were… challenging." Admitted the King as he held himself, his tail twitching nervously in his back. 

"What you missed me?" Scoffed the warrior, but his scorn quickly disappeared when he faced silence. "Oh… you're… you're okay?" 

"I'm… sometimes I just still wish I kept lying, it was easier." Whispered the sage, curled up on himself as he watched the stars glimmer.

"Hm, yeah, it was easier." Sun Wukong quickly turned towards the warrior. Because those words meant that some part of Macaque was missing what they had, it meant that maybe he could convince him to do it again, it meant that maybe he could keep her memory at bay. 

" I… you wanna keep pretending then?" 

"What?" Scoffed the warrior, voice rising. 

"I-I… It wouldn't be like last time." Rushed the sage, trying to appease him. "I…just for the night. If it's easier for you, I can be a mindless beast, just for the night, as long as you're with me." 

"Are you even hearing yourself?" Muttered the warrior. 

"I… I can give you magic if you need it-" 

"I didn't come here to beg!" 

"I know but what can I do then!" Snapped the King, voice wavering. "Sorry… It’s just… I know you're living here, and I'm glad about it, but you're not letting me see you at all. It's almost as if you're not here."

"I need space, Wukong."

"I know, and I want to give you space, but I… I feel so bad it's… I just wish you held me."

"I can't do that. I can't lie with you, it's only gonna hurt us." Sighed the Macaque, gaze stubbornly avoiding him. Sun Wukong felt something inside of him break, he repressed the whines wanting to pass through his lips, he kept the hand wanting to reach for the warrior at his side, and laughed, sadly. 

"Yeah I… what was I thinking? Sorry, forget that. I mean it's not like you even missed me."

"It's not-"

"I'm gonna leave." Blurted Sun Wukong, tears nipping at his eyes. "Thank you for coming to talk, I appreciated it. Good night." But Macaque held him back before he could flee, leaping towards him and tightly gripping his wrist. 

"Just listen to me, you idiot." Sun Wukong sat back, now awfully close to the other. "I… I can't lie with you, because it'll only hurt us both. But it doesn't mean I didn't…miss you or whatever, I enjoyed those days too."

"Oh…" Muttered the sage, cheeks slowly becoming more and more red. 

"I know you're hurting."

"I'm not hurting that much-" but he cut himself when he saw the unimpressed gaze of the other.

"I know you're hurting, but I can't… I need time to process some things, okay?" 

"Okay…why are you even caring about me?" Awkwardly chuckled the sage, flushing the second the words passed his lips. 

"I'm just tired of fighting. I don't know if we can salvage something, our relationship is pretty messed up, I really don't know, so I'm just gonna do what I want."

"Hm, so I can do what I want too ?"

"As long as you don't push me to do things I don't want to."

"Okay. Can I give you magic then?"

"Wukong…"

"I'm just worried, okay. Might come as a shock to you, but I kinda care. I don't know your situation but last time you didn't have magic you weren't well."

"… I really don't want you to pity me." Sighed the macaque. 

"It's not pity, it's care. Just a bit. Indulge me a bit more tonight, please."

"Okay… "Sun Wukong tried to repress the smile blooming on his lips, he carefully took the other hand and brought it to his forehead, eagerly giving bits of his magic. Macaque quietly sighed, he took back his hand after a few seconds, perhaps not liking to be this vulnerable. "I didn't come here for that."

"I know." Chuckled the sage. 

"You're a handful." Snorted the warrior, he hesitantly took off his scarf and carefully warped it around the sage. Sun Wukong sucked in a breath, heart beating wildly. "I can't be with you tonight, I need alone time to think, I think we both do, so just hold on to this." The King dumbly nodded, shocked by the gesture, not thinking for a moment that Macaque would ever part from his beloved scarf. "I… I'll be at the recovery party." 

"So I can see you again?" Carefully asked the sage. 

"In theory."

"That's enough for me."

"‘kay." Mumbled the warrior, he rose, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck, avoiding any prolonged glance. "Night Wukong."

"Night Macaque."

Macaque nodded at him, he turned around and left with soft sounding steps. The sage watched him until his silhouette disappeared in the night, he then laid back in the grass and tightly grasped the scarf warped around his neck, losing himself in the ebony monkey's scent. 

For the first time in a few weeks, he slept well. 

Ch1 / Previous / Next

[materlux]

The priestess and the swordsman - Prologue: The lamb that killed the wolves.

This is an alternate version of my "Garden of Abundance" fic, this will much longer and much angstier. It will be found family.

CW: A lot of death and blood, pure angst, reader is refered to as "Priestess" and is written as fem (second person perspective mostly)

Honkai Star Rail | Main Masterlist

Kaira (Greek): Right or opportune moment.

Lethe (Greek): River in the underworld that made souls forget the sufferings of life; oblivion.

This is the longst thing I have ever written, 3.5k words, enjoy

You were born into an average family, in a small town, on an untraversed planet. But you were not born average, see, your planet is dedicated to the Abundance, and so Yaoshi takes special care of it. 

   But back to you not being average, from a young age odd things, peculiar even, would happen in your presence. It started small, potted plants would inexplicably grow and bloom when you touched them. 

   Then it got worse, for you, when your skin made contact with the ground, it would spring to life. Flowers grew in places where they never did, plants grew in places where they’d surely die in a short amount of time. 

   The last incident that occurred before you were shipped away, you had found a tainted spring not far from town, it was causing the fields to rot, you only wanted to help. You dipped your hand into it and before your eyes it cleared, the fields stopped rotting, the town was saved, but you weren’t.

   It had now become clear that you were chosen by Yaoshi themself, to be an emanator of the Abundance, as such your parents agreed to have you sent away to  the capital city. In the city you were given to the cult of Abundance, the largest of its kind on your home planet, and they made quick work of ‘checking’ if you really were chosen by the Abundance. By checking of course I mean stabbing you through the heart before the altar and statue, as a live human sacrifice to THEM, you of course woke back up fully healed just an hour later.

   And that is the short and not very sweet story of how you found yourself imprisoned by the cult of Abundance, if you told them you felt imprisoned they’d merely call you naive and misunderstanding. You are young, but you are not a fool, at least you think so.

<><><><><><><><><><><><^POV: Kaira^><><><><><><><><><><><>

     Short unruly black hair frames the face of a young girl, behind her she drags an equally young boy with equally black and unruly hair. They are Kaira and Lethe, despite their similar complexions they are not twins, but older brother and younger sister.

   News had spread about the new priestess, the one appointed by Yaoshi. The siblings, being still too young to truly join the mature cult ceremonies, had heard from their parents the honour and beauty of the new priestess. Being young and curious they longed to see her, or rather Lethe couldn’t care less, but Kaira insisted.

   They scaled up the side of the church during one of these mature ceremonies, if anyone saw them doing this they would surely be punished, good thing most adults were in attendance, the rest at work. Kaira crawled across the roof to look through the small gaps in the wall, her brother looked around the street for anyone out on a stroll.

   “Look! Look!” Kaira urged her brother, grabbing wildly at his body and face. He huffed and knocked her hands away. “Wow! She really is beautiful!” Kaira whisper yelled and Lethe nodded along.

   The priestess made her way down the aisle to the altar, where she first sat on the edge facing the statue of Yaoshi, she looked up and locked eyes with THEM, before she laid down on the stone altar still facing the statue. The main priest spoke before the gathering, he called out to THEM and beckoned the people to join him in prayer. As the masses prayed, Kaira quietly muttered a prayer of her own, her brother furrowed his brow, this was not a prayer either of them recognized. 

   Off to the side a man dressed in white unsheathes a blade, typically placed in the arms of the statue. He rubs a cloth over the ornate blade and holds it out to the priest, who takes it in both hands. He holds it out before the statue and bows his head. He moves to the side of the altar, he aligns the tip of the blade so it hover just between the priestess shoulder blades. Lethe reaches out for his sister, who unknowingly leans in with bated breaths. The priest raises the blade and mutters the last words of the prayer, then lets gravity pull it down straight through the heart and into a notch that’s been worn into the stone.

   Lethe opens his eyes a little, seeing the altar covered in a white sheet, he peels his hand away from his sisters eyes. He holds her close to his side, she breathes deep as she processes what just happened. “Is she dead?” She quietly asks no one in particular, Lethe knows this, but answers anyway. “I don’t know.”

   The two of them stay on the roof for who knows how long, breathing, waiting for something. Eventually the church empties of people, only the main priest and his assistants remain. They pull away the white sheet, pull the blade from her body with care, and carry her away to a separate room. One wipes a dark liquid from the stone and blade, it seems too dark to be normal blood, actually it looks like someone spilled ink on the stone and metal.

<><><><><><><>><><><><^POV: Priestess^><><><><><><><><><><>

     You wake up in your bed, you’re disoriented and everything is blurry, as your vision clears you feel a familiar ache in your chest, in your heart. You recall the cold stone and the hollow voices, and you recall the sting and tear of a blade. You sigh, another day another ceremony, maybe this wouldn’t be so tortuous if it wasn’t everyday.

   You stand and stretch, your skin aches and the sheet sticks to your back. You peel it off, a patch of black, you frown but don’t dwell on it. You move on to your bathroom, you peel white clothes stained with ink from your skin, you look over the newly healed skin in the mirror, you pick at the edges.

   The cold water shocks your body and clears your mind, before it grows warmer and comforting. It washes away the residual ‘blood’ stuck to your body, it flows down the drain and you pray for it to take your conscience with it, it doesn’t.

   You turn off the water and dry off, you pull on a more comfortable outfit. A hoodie two sizes too big and a pair of comfy pants, you throw your ceremony clothes into a basket for one of the priest’s assistants to collect later. Your drying off your hair when a soft tapping catches your attention, you turn to your window, the one that faces the street. You watch a small stone collide with the glass producing a soft tap, you know from experience that the glass won’t break that easily. You walk over and wrench the broken lock open, leaning out the window you spot two people, both with black unruly hair.

   “Hi!” The girl waves to you, you wave back awkwardly. “Come down,” she calls, you look around. “Uh, I can’t do that,” you reply, if you did leave they’d just change the locks, they are quite hard to break. “Why not? The priest isn’t here and neither are his assistants,” the girl argues. “Are you sure?” You ask, you want to leave, you haven’t had the chance to actually see the city that held you hostage. 

   “Yeah, they leave everyday, same time. We see them in the city all the time, wandering around like pigeons looking for crumbs,” the boy intejects. You smile at the image, such elegant and haughty people being compared to something considered filth of the street amuses you.

   You look around the street, biting your lip, you take the leap of faith, not literally of course, now that would be stupid. “Okay, one moment,” you call back. You turn back and find a hair tie, you pull back your hair and hide it in your hood. You return to the window and begin your somewhat clumsy descent.

   You spend your day in their company, you learn their names are Kaira and Lethe. Lethe makes a point of clarifying that they are NOT twins, but older brother and younger sister, Kaira sticks her tongue out at him and he returns the sentiment. They show you their favourite spots in the city, they buy you some cheap charms and street food. They sneak you back to your room before the priest and his assistants return, or henchmen as Kaira calls them.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

     You spend your days like this, you get sacrificed just before 10 am, then you get your bearings and shower, and at around 11 am Kaira and Lethe come get you. By 3 pm you’re back in your room and the priest and his henchmen are none the wiser, you think, you hope.

   You have started to look forward to this time of day, you wish you could spend your whole day with them, meet their parents or their other friends they sometimes talk about. Maybe go to school and learn something new, become something more than a prisoner, a white lamb.

   You shake these thoughts from your mind, you’re supposed to be having fun, not think dreaded thoughts. Kaira leads the way along a dirt path, you’re still in the city Lethe assures you, it’s a garden he says, it’s a strange garden you think. Kaira stops ahead of you, the sound of running water fills your ears before you see it, the last time you saw a river like this was back home.

   “We can put our things over here.” Kaira’s voice cuts into your nostalgia, she points at a group of rocks. “Our stuff?” You ask, she looks at you like you're the crazy one. “Were you planning on getting in with your shoes and socks on?” She looks bewildered, and your mouth forms an ‘o’. “No, of course not, I just didn’t realise you wanted to get in,” you justify, she laughs.

   The three of you place your shoes by the stones, and your socks on top. Kaira is the first to step in, she sucks in a sharp breath, but practically runs into the river, not too far of course, she’s still fully clothed. Lethe scowls at her when she splashes in his direction, he steps in after her in a much more controlled manner. That leaves you alone on the bank, you look into the water and you get the feeling it’s looking back at you.

   “Well?” Kaira asks, you look up at her, she smiles at you. You swallow your apprehension and step in, the water is cold, slowly you go in further until you have joined the siblings. The water goes barely past your knees, it caresses your skin in an almost comforting way. “See? It’s not so bad.” Kaira exhales a breath of bliss. “It really isn’t, it’s perfect for this hot day,” Lethe, for once, agrees with his sister. 

   You smile, but something feels off, the water feels alive in a not so normal way. Maybe that’s just how city water is your reason, you wouldn’t know, you’re not from the city, but even you admit that sounds dumb. Kaira and Lethe argue about something, you tune it out, or does the water drown it out?

   Something tugs at your limbs, it beckons you to come further out, and you can’t help but heed it. If you can stand here, it should be fine further out, right? You wade through the river towards the centre, the water level rises past your knees, distantly you hear Kaira call out to you, next you hear Lethe, then you hear a third voice. The voice is soft and comforting, eerily familiar and so distinctly different from anything you have heard before. In the back of your mind you recall having heard it when you were younger, by a river in the woods, your mother had to pull you away before you went in.

   You're pulled back to reality by the sounds of water splashing wildly, a pair of hands grab ahold of your hoodie and pull you back with great force. “Wha- are you crazy?!” Lethe’s voice echoes in your ears, you realise it’s his hands that are holding you, he pulled you back. “What?” You ask, what does he mean crazy? “The waters by the bank are shallow and calm, they are safe. But the deeper it gets the stronger the current gets, you could get swept away, you could die.” He says it with such concern and anger, like a parent scolding a child. But he knows you won’t really die, you know that.

   You return to the church around 3 pm, shoes and socks in hand, your feet and legs are still damp. The walk is mostly quiet, Kaira and Lethe bid you farewell by your window like always, they watch you make your way back up to make sure you’re safe, like always. But after you get up and close the window they stay, it’s odd, they know the priest will be back soon, they know they’ll be punished if he finds out. Maybe that’s why it all goes so wrong, because they stay, they stay too long.

<><><><><><><><><><><><^POV: Kaira^><><><><><><><><><><><><

     The priest’s assistants drag them inside, it’s early, they won’t be meeting with the priestess for another 2 hours. The ceremony is supposed to start soon, so what is the priest doing? Kaira stares at him, he takes a slow drink from a glass of something, it’s a dark liquid, like wine.

   “What do you want?” Kaira asks, the priest looks at her. “The ceremony starts in a few minutes.” The priest hums, he smiles, it sickens her. “Today's ceremony has been moved to a later hour, I had more important business to attend to.” He turns to face them, Lethe takes a step in front of his sister. “Awh, how sweet, isn’t that sweet?” The priest looks to his assistants, they nod along, blank faces.

   “You see, I caught you, the game is over,” he starts, moving forward with languide steps. “Stealing the priestess, the most holy thing within this church, is a crime of the highest order.” He stands before them, tall and with a straight spine, shoulder relaxed with a lazy smile on his face. “It is my job, my duty, to see that you are punished, just as THEY would have it.”

   “I won’t dread the details for too long, it doesn’t matter, there won’t be anyone to hear you out after all.” He turns away and walks back to the small table, he picks up his glass and motions to his assistants. They move forward wordlessly.

   “What? What are you doing!? Stay away!” Kaira yells, the priest perks up, he glances back. “Oh? Don’t you know?” He hums again. “The penalty for stealing holy artefacts from the church, is, well, death.” He shrugs.

<><><><><><><><><><><^POV: Priestess^><><><><><><><><><><><

     The priest leads you through the hall, the only sound in the hollow hallway being his expensive shoes clicking against the stone. It’s late, you note, later than usual, the ceremony should be over now, you should be cleaning off and waiting for Kaira and Lethe.

   The priest opens a door, it’s odd, normally he’d be leading you down the main hall, walking you down the aisle like a father at a wedding. You feel uneasy, something feels very wrong with this room. You step in anyway, nothing seems odd, except for the dark crimson on the floor. A sheet like your own covers something human like, dread fills your heart.

   The priest motions for his assistants, who gather the sheet and pull it away, it sticks and peels away in a way that makes you sick. The sight below nearly has you doubling over, in a pool of crimson lay Kaira overlapped slightly by Lethe. You stagger forward, your toes dip into the warm liquid, you take a deep breath to steady your unruly stomach.

   You can’t take your eyes away, you find yourself leaning down. You want to stop, to pull away, to scream and cry and run. You do none of that, instead your hand grazes Lethe’s bangs. They’re still dry and soft, you slowly move them aside, his eyes are open, but hollow as the church halls. You shudder and pull your hand away, you eye Kaira, her head is in contact with the pool below her. You know her hair is soaked, you still reach out and move her hair aside, the feeling of it forces you to suppress a gag. Her eyes are closed, her face is nearly red, so are your hand and feet.

   The priest pulls you back, you let him, why do you let him? You want to fight, why can’t you? “You see, this what happens when the world sees you, when you leave THEY demand the crime be punished. I am only a humble and poor servant, I take no joy out of this.” He lies, you know he does, you hear no remorse, you can see his smile.

   He leads you out of the room, why do you let him? You leave red footprints behind, you don’t look back, you don’t want to. He leads to the main hall, down the aisle between the pews, past the church goers, They mutter and whisper about the blood you trail behind you, you don’t ignore them, you don’t realise they're there. Your eyes are locked on to the statue ahead of you, is this really what THEY wanted? Did they want their favourite child to suffer like this? Could they even feel love? Remorse? Were they a being of apathy?

   You stop by the altar, you sit on it facing the statue like always. The priest takes the stand, his voice is drowned out in your muddled mind. You note that the blade is still left resting in the arms of the statue, normally it would be in the hands of an assistant by now, but the odd hour of this ceremony must have caused a fluke.

   Your mind goes quiet, the world goes quiet, you stand from the altar. You look up at the statue, study its face. Your hand reaches up, you don’t know why? Do you want to do this? Do you have a choice?

   Your hand wraps around the scabbard of the blade, it’s lighter than you imagined it to be. You look around, everyone has their heads bowed and eyes closed in prayer, no one sees you. You pull the blade from the sheath, it is quite beautiful when you look at it up close. It feels good in your hand, like it belongs there, does it?

   You turn around, the priest has his back to you. You step around the altar, you observe his shoulder blades. No one sees you align the blade like he has before, no one sees you drive it forward, but they hear it, they hear him sputter. The blade comes away red, but this red doesn’t bother you, it should shouldn’t it? Why doesn’t it?

   The church goers are stunned, you carry on, one by one. You feel numb, distant, free. The ground is painted red, so are you splattered across the walls and your skin, soaking into the pew cushions and your white clothes. Why do you do this? What is wrong with you?

   The church is silent, except dripping echoes along the walls. You think it comes from you, but then why does it sound so distant? You turn around, water drips down the face of the statue, you stare at it for a while.

   You walk up the aisle, blade in hand coated in red. You look up at the statue, like a child looking at its parents. You reach out and catch a droplet in your palm, it rests for a while. Another drops into your palm, and then another, and another. It burns, you realise with a sharp sound, it burns all the way through your bones, to your heart. You drop the blade, it clatters and echoes over the walls like laughter, in favour of holding your arm. You shrink to the floor, tears of your own run down your cheeks. You have to leave, the thought overwhelms you, you need to leave, now.

   You grab the blade, shake what you can off and dry the worst off in your formerly white clothes. You stand, shaking, you grab your hair and cut it with the blade. You find the scabbard and sheath the blade, why do you do that?

   You rush around the church, pack a random bag you find with whatever you can find. You change out of your bloody clothes, you note the strange marking spreading across your arm. You find some bandages in the bathroom and cover it, before covering them with a hoodie.

   You leave the church behind, it’s light out, you flee the scene and no one sees you, no one stops you. The blade now feels heavy in your hand, why did you even bring that? Where are you going? They’ll know you did it, they’ll find you, they’ll kill you. If this decision doesn’t make you a fool, an idiot, then your next one certainly makes you one. You decide to find a Xianzhou Alliance ship, of all places to go hiding, why is that your idea?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

[annawayne]

Hi Anna!!!! I hope you're taking care of yourself :3 For the writers ask game, in regards to MYLYSW:

1, 2, 5, 9, 11, 13, 14

Please take care Anna, and I wish you lots of energy and inspiration and good moments to do the things you want to do :3

Oh, Moon, hello-hello!

*sigh* I'm not very good because one of my chronical health problems came back yesterday, but well, I'm as fine as I can be, considering all the circumstance, but thank you a lot for your words and questions!

It was such a great distraction to answer all of it about My Yellow Light in Your Soft Whispers (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

1 What inspired you to write the fic this way?

From the very start, I really wanted to explore Annie's character and far, far into the future, where she already experiences a lot of new things and the date of her death, when she was under curse, long expired. But since this whole traumatic event happens at the very beginning, all the next chapters are the mix of the past and the present. I think, that when something terrible happens to us which shatters all the world we knew, we always tend to look at the past, how the things used to be with the sweet longing and nostalgia. And yet, with these flashbacks I also want to show that not everything was so unclouded back then. They were happy, but didn't they just simply convince themselves for it because "this is how it should be"? Plus, all the flashbacks + the present events work together with Unreliable narrator tag - Annie IS unreliable narrator, and that's why some things the reader should read with sort of skepticism.

I think that is such a mix of the past and the present is a great way to show how messy Annie's mind is - she's constantly looking back, not even realizing that some things she sees the way she wants to see, and completely ignoring the present. The past - is her salvation. But is it a blissful oblivion or life-saving escape? Who knows. And this is what I also try to explore in this fic, and that's why we have s great amount of flashback in (almost) every chapter.

2 What scene did you first put down?

Oh, Moon, thank you a lot for this question, because the very first scenes that appeared in my mind are quite the backbone of the whole fic. One of them, is the scene from Chapter 5, with the reveal what really happened that day in March; another one - it's the scene I'm actually writing right now (like, right now-now, I made a break to answer your ask) from Chapter 10, and also the very beginning - this whole day in March was very vivid in my mind, when the first idea came to me, particularly, the scene on the stage - and the transition to AruAni's cottage, where a few times I play with readers making them believe that it was dream - or not - until we realize that it really DID happen. I did my best to confuse the readers as much as possible, and I hope it played out because I really wanted to show how much this day in March affected Annie and how it sets the whole narration rhythm from the start: we can't trust her fully, and yet, to find where's the truth which is the part of her healing, this is what I try to do.

Another scene, it's going to be a bit later, and it's maybe of the most emotional moment in the whole fic. This moment is one of the main catalyst for Annie's character, and I'm quite nervous for it, but well... I don't think too much about it for now, since we have a long way to go :D

5 What part was hardest to write?

This part is actually only yet to come... In the next chapter, 11. This is something that was, let's say, in the second wave of brainstorming for the MYLYSW plot, and I was eager to write it since the beginning, but because this scene is also VERY emotional and marking the new route for AruAni, it's a very responsible scene.

9 Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There's some very, very, very rough idea of the alternative scenario where Armin never wakes up from his "coma", but I dismissed this idea almost right away because I wanted primarily to explore how two souls overcome something so grave and something so earth-shattering, finding the love - for yourself, for the life and for each other - once again, from the knife-edge pieces of their past scattered around. So I dismiss this very tragic scenario, and stick to "Angst with Happy ending", where through all the difficulties and turmoil, hope and desire to live are much stronger than everything, much stronger than death.

11 What do you like best about this fic?

You know, I left this question for the very end when I was answering all the previous ones because it's always a bit difficult for me to say what "I like" about my writing (and I know you know, and you asked me this question on purpose :D), and after some though I realized that I really cherish this fic for the rawness of emotions and feelings. For the way how it's all so honest that it could you even uncomfortable, how bare and how on display these characters, or, in particular, Annie is. I really wanted to reach this borderline of frankness and truth where is nowhere to hide. I don't know if I succeed, but I do my best to show nothing without sugar-coating and to dive so deep into character's mind, that sometimes it may be scary to see what really hides beneath all layers.

And I think, that this is what I like the most about this fic. How honest and raw it is.

13 What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Oh, I have the whole Playlist for this fic, and it's 11 hr 42 min... If anyone is interested, I can share it, but please let me know T^T

And I have a few "main OSTs" for this story which are like the main lead music that settles the whole mood and vibe of the fic, and here it is:

14 Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I'll refer with my answer for this question to my answer for the question 9, too: I really want to give hope to everyone who is going through very difficult times that, no matter what, the sun will always come. Even if everything looks so devastating, gloomy, scary and absolutely terrifying, I just want everyone to feel that the things don't get better overnight - it's a process. Long and something torturous, but it's a process, and every day, step by step, you're closer to the moment when things will be better. No matter how angsty this fic is, it has a happy ending, a catharsis which declares that any desire to live is stronger than anything, then death itself, and that it's worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for you, and your happiness is wort it.

For me, this fic is also a reminder for myself. That no matter how difficult and scary my life is, everything ends. The last three years are the pure nightmare for me, and yet, I get up every day with the thoughts that my life is worth it, it's worth to open my eyes and it's worth to cherish it. It's worth the future. And this fic - this is also for me, and for everyone who lost their paths and their grounds. I really hope to give this hope and to show how two completely lost and broken souls find happiness and peace, and if anyone, who will read this fic, will feel some ray of hope or sign to move forward - I'll be enormously happy. Truly.

This fic is like the transition season between winter and spring: first, it's snow that melts, the barren, dry soil peeks trough the piles of dirty mess which is not even snow anymore, but just some slobs. Nights are still cold, maybe even with the frost. The sun starts shine more, but still cold. But some first petals and buds start to bloom - and they're first to die because the winter didn't leave fully. But, with each day. the sun is warmer, the snow melts into the soil and gives water to the new flowers, and the trees blossom with young leaves - and March, this endless March, when the weather always deceives you, finally go and here comes the spring, when everything is born again.

Thank you so much, Moon, for all these questions, and, to be honest, while I was answering all of it, I realized more about my own story then it was before... So thank you for it, always (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

writer's game in question

[secret-smut-sideblog]

My Love Is A Dagger

Astarion x F! Dark Urge

18+ violence, self harm, feelings of unworthiness, angst, durge having imposter syndrome, p-in-v, sub/dom, vulnerable sex, hurt/comfort, tenderness

Getting close to her absolution, the urge is reaching a fever pitch. She has to take drastic measures to protect the one she loves...

-

Waking from another nightmare she stared at the roof of his tent, trying to stay quiet. Tears sliding down the sides of her face, chest heaving.

Well, nightmare is not the right word. A demented wet dream is closer.

Her confrontation with her bloodkin on the precipice, her sanctioned return to her home. The temple of her origin. Gods she dreaded it and was repeatedly proved right.

Already nearing oblivion when she had to run for her life, well his life, the night she was nearly lost.

The urge had taken a new tactic since then; barraging her with arousing dreams of her unrealized violence. Her hands dealing untold death. Waves of blood and pleasure.

This was the first time her violent dreams had been about him, so it must be getting desperate. Gods, cutting him open and watching the life drain from his eyes. She shivered at the thought.

Aware of the wetness between her legs she grimaced, ashamed.

Enough. She'd had enough.

He laid in trance next to her, tranquil. Hand holding her waist. None the wiser.

A fresh and violent need ripped through her at the sight of him, almost blinding her. Reaching for her dagger, just give in. Give in and it will stop. Stop, stop, stop.

White knuckled around the blade, she stared at him. Her love, his soft breathing. Face so foolishly relaxed, his long lashes kissing his cheeks. So beautiful.

She can make it quick, just do it.

Take him apart.

Driving the dagger down into her hand she muffled a cry. Felt the tip meet the blankets nestled under them. The pain excruciating but itching the need. Blood is blood.

"Mmphh," She heard him starting to wake.

Of course. Blood. Fuck she did not think this through.

She slowly, carefully, maneuvered her body out from his side. Feeling his hand reach for her as she got up. His sleeping body whining discontently.

"I'll be back in a moment." She whispered to him, kissing his hairline. Holding her dripping hand as far from him as she could.

Sneaking out, shocked she got away with it she hurried to the stream nearby. Though she wanted to pace for a while, an old habit, she knew she should return quickly. It made him nervous, for obvious reasons, when she would slip away.

Dipping her screaming wound in the cool water she closed her eyes. Laughing meanly at herself.

Gods he deserved better. Better than a broken machine that was made to fulfill one purpose. How happy, how content he could be with a fresh new thing. A sweet flower who could lay next to him all night and shower him with love. Nothing but adoration in their mind.

How good that would be for him, something soft. Something holy.

Her tears dropping in the water. A shallow sob pulling through her throat. The moving water red with her shame.

She wanted to run, run until she broke apart entirely. Let him, all of their companions, live without her, be free. Their love entirely misplaced, it would be better suited for someone else.

She ripped a long strip from her shirt tiredly, wrapping it tight around her palm. Some blood still seeping to the surface, but it would have to do.

On tip-toe she hushed back into his tent. Slipping under the covers, she tried to push all thought from her mind. Turning to slot back into his embrace. Would have to figure out a way to explain her hand in the morning. Gods nothing was ever simple.

His eyes were open and trained on her. Unreadable.

Shit.

She tried to come up with a plausible reason why she had gotten up, why she had the telltale tang of blood on her. Mind racing, but coming up short. The pain in her hand clouding her.

"Where did you go?" He asked, caring but suspicious. "And why do I smell blood?"

"I-" she started, eyes still tight with tears.

She knew he loved her, would want to talk with her about what's bothering her. That made it worse. Gods why did they all care so deeply for her? They knew what she was. Had they no sense?

She took a shaky breath out, decided on the truth. "I wanted to hurt you again."

Pulling on her forearm he brought her bandaged hand to his face. Kissing it softly. Eyes swimming with emotion.

He pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, pressing a kiss into her cheek, her jaw.

"And do you still want to hurt me?" He murmured, hand threading behind her head.

"No, not now." She sighed into his touch, allowing herself to be pulled under his body. Intoxicated. "But I will." She added, trying to realign the conversation.

"But you wont." He countered, voice sure. "You're stronger than that." Hand pulling up on her waist, nuzzling into her neck.

"I missed you." Lips brushing against her skin. Hands adoring but needful.

"Astarion, I was only gone for a moment." She sighed, her will breaking. He had such a way of making her fall apart. His touch heaven.

"I hate when you leave me at night." He pressed his words into her throat, "You should always be here." Patting the bedroll.

"Here with me... would you like that? Being bound to me?"

Her eyes went wide at this line of questioning. Astarion was not an altruistic man, not interested in sharing. He had been a careful and attentive lover but she knew this about him.

She had seen the near imperceptible cut in his eyes when Halsin would put a hand on her back. The slight taut in his forearms when Gale leaned in and touched her bicep, talking excitedly about the soup he was working on.

Had seen glimpses of a possessive pull but brushed it off. He had never forbade her from seeking out other bodies. She hadn't, mind, but it wasn't off the table. Though they were so close he had never brought this up before.

His voice hot with need now, lips pulling and nipping at her neck. She groaned, arching into him.

"I want you all to myself." He moaned. Hands pulling her shirt up over her head. "They all look at you. Want you. But they cant have you."

Mouth worshipping her clavicle, the curve of her breast. Now down to just her soaking underclothes. She spread her legs wide, her hands pushing his hips into her.

"Please, be just mine."

She understood that this was a confession, a desire. A deep longing that he was sharing with her. Found herself wrapped up in it.

"You can have me however you want me." She moaned truthfully. "Take what you need." Pulling his head to her breast.

He growled into her, mouth descending on her hard peak. Licking suckling circles around her.

She bucked into him, a high whine. Hands shaking she pulled open the ties on his trousers. The air heavy with a desperate lust.

Already at full mast she wrapped her hand around him, slowly pumping.

He groaned a whimper into her chest. Hand fumbling at her underclothes. Never leaving her body, forearm bracing himself next to her head.

It was very unlike him to skip foreplay, Gods he was usually content to torture her for what felt like hours. That wicked grin all over his face. Often not even finding his end.

Now he was vibrating with need, his breath hot against her torso.

"I'm yours. I'm yours." She chanted into the curl of his hair as he came back up, her underclothes hanging from one shin. Already wet from her midnight emissions, she was drenched now. Pulling up her leg to give him room.

He aligned himself and pushed inside her, a little choke in his throat.

His pace slow and careful, almost nervous. She rested her arm up around his back, her wounded hand cradling his head. Hips coming up to meet him. "You feel so good." She whispered into him.

His other arm coming up to brace him, his pace breaking. Hips coming in harder, sloppier. His breath a loud pant.

"Keep talking," He urged, voice strained.

"Gods you're perfect. Fuck, the way you stretch me..." She groaned, the words tumbling out.

"I crave this when we're apart. Your body all over me." His pace reaching brutality. Hips snapping hard into her. His pants a fast rhythmic plea.

"I want you to come deep inside me. Is that what you want?" She forced out through her rising climb.

"Yes, oh Gods yes," He whimpered, sweat pooling on his brow, dripping down his jaw. She leaned up to lick it off him.

Hand coming to wrap gently around his throat. "Like this? Do you want to fill me like this?"

Saw his eyes go wide then hitch back in his head. "Yes," he groaned. "Harder."

She pressed more on his clavicle, fingers clenching slightly.

"You come when I say you do."

He nodded, eyes pulled shut hard in concentration. Hips rolling into her. His face in strained ecstasy.

The sight of her slender hand on his throat igniting her. So so close to what she needed. Wrapping python around his hips, coming up to grind hard into him. Animal. Feral.

His forearms shaking. Fingernails digging into the sheets. Muffled little yelps as her hips hit him.

"Do you want me to come all over you? Riding myself on you like this?"

He whined into her hold, eyes wide. Biting his lower lip. Nodding fervently. Pleading.

His sweet eyes too much, she erupted. Going rigid against him. A strangled shriek as she rode the punishing wave. Clenching down in vicious pulses around him.

He buckled down, cursing weakly, her pull almost collapsing him. Hips still pushing as far into her as he could. So very nearly undone, his hair wet with sweat. Face flushed. A mess.

"Now."

His eyes screwing shut he shattered into her. She shoved her wrist into his mouth to muffle him, a keening cry into her flesh. Biting down on instinct, blood bursting against his mouth.

Her hand pushing on his throat. Driving her hips into him, again and again. Only the whites of his eyes visible, eyelids stuttering. Shaking and writhing over her. A last desperate thrust as she felt the fullness inside. Already leaking out over her backside.

She gently cupped his chin, kissing him soft. Her blood smearing across her face. Licking it with a groan into her mouth.

"Was that too much?" She asked, coming back to herself.

He laughed, still a panting mess. Wiping his face, grabbing some cloth and cleaning their spill from her. Pulling her to lay on his chest.

"That was incredible, darling." The shocked elation evident in his voice. Licking up the stray blood from her wrist. "Gods I dont know if I've ever had it like that before."

She believed him, the vulnerability still making her heart thrill.

"Was it too much for you?" He murmured, hand trailing her shoulder, her forearm.

"I dont know." She answered truthfully. "I did like it. A lot."

After a moment of quiet, the insect song on the air, she spoke. "Did you mean what you said, about being yours?"

"Yes." He said simply. "Well, yes and no. I want you to be mine, but not my possession. You're free to leave me. If you want that. I want to be yours only."

"Oh have you been seeing someone on the side? Anyone I know?" She teased.

"I'm serious, my love."

"Of course," She said, smiling over at him. "I'm all yours. Until one of our violent ends." Her heart getting heavy again, the pain in her hand a visceral reminder. "Or you finally, correctly, decide to be done with me."

His eyebrows threaded together for a moment. "Do you think that? That I should leave you?"

Fuck how did he cut through her so easily.

Her mouth formed a thin line, staring into his big soft crimson eyes.

"Yes." Closing her eyes, sighing. "Often."

"That's not your decision to make."

Hitting her hand against the tent floor in frustration. "I know."

Looking over at him, eyes sorrowful. "But you should really reconsider. You could do so much better."

"Find someone sweet, good. Someone who can love you in an untainted way, cherish you. Not try to kill you constantly. Gods that's the bare minimum." Laughed sharply at herself again. "Settle down, maybe get a little cottage. Or run some high end store. Fuck, maybe figure out how to pop out some babies that won't be destined to bring about the end of the world."

Cupping his cheek, eyes pleading. "You dont have to do this. You dont have to be stuck here, in this place with me."

"First off," He started, frustration flaring in his eyes. "I wouldnt even want children even if I could sire them." He shuddered. "Messy little things." She smiled, despite herself.

"And all of that domestication? With someone besides you? Dreadfully dull." He scoffed.

"In this little," Waving his hand flippantly. "Scenario of yours, am I just supposed to be a dutiful husband to some stranger? Just tottering around? All docile and plain? Darling, you have not worked this out in my favor at all."

"And as if," He got up on elbows, eyes bright in indignation. Oh he was really started now. "Resisting your urges at every turn does not prove that you are good, the best of us. The immense strength and compassion you hold."

"I killed Alfira..." She murmured, eyes down.

"You were asleep! Hell's below you-" Grabbing her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Are a bright burning light. You are good. You are everything to me."

"I would be dead, enslaved, twice over if you hadn't taken me in out of the kindness of your heart. I held a knife to your throat and you welcomed me with open arms! You are good!"

The tears spilling down her cheeks only spurned him on. "Ask anyone, our camp mates, Hells even some random on the streets of Lower City, and they will know you and sing your praises. You are not the make of your birth. Your worth is not the thing in your head."

"I know." She sniffled, cupped his hand holding her chin. "Its just so hard. All the time."

"I know, I know." He swept her into his arms. "We're going to help you. We've gotten out of worse, we'll figure a way to get it out of you. I'm not going anywhere my love." She melted into him, tears staining his shirt.

"I dont deserve you. Any of you. Thank you." She hushed into his collarbone.

"If you dont stop that I'm going to make you sleep outside."

She laughed wetly into his collar. Nuzzling her head deeper into him. "And miss me all night? You wouldn't dare."

He sighed. "You're impossible." Hands running up her sides, tangling in her hair. Groaning softly.

"Astarion, already?" She admonished. Gods he was insatiable now.

"Well I've got all night to defend my side of the argument, dont I?" He purred in her ear.

~

Part 6