#long story short happy or owen but mainly i just hope it does well so owen can use that clout to get IF made again

[whomadewaffles]

Waking up to see infinity train trending only to get disappointed when it's not news of a revive or a movie but about Owen Dennis's next show.....among us...

Like, I mean I'm happy that everything that happened with infinity train hasn't stopped him from creating I just don't care about that game tbh

I'm still probably gonna watch cos obviously Owen is gonna knock it out of the park and if it does well maybeeeee (wishful thinking to the max) maybe titmouse can be the one to bring infinity train back. And he is a good fit cos as people have pointed out it was already a fandom joke to call the queue car "the among us car" so we know its gonna be good...but still

Wish this was different news instead

[purple-dahlias]

Birthdays

🎈 six

She remembers that one, clearly, even now. The last one her father was there for.

At six Sarah is considerably a lot more perceptive than other children her age. She notices her mother’s pinched expression, the fraught looks that pass between her parents. The way her father walks about in a silent rage and her mother purses her lips, as though trying to stop herself from saying something.

That’s how she ends up sitting quietly, trying her best to pretend she isn’t there, a new copy of The Secret Garden open in her lap, legs carefully crossed at the ankles. She’s trying to lose herself in the words. She imagines herself taken away to somewhere strange, somewhere new, just like Mary was.

It seems to be working for her, that is, until she hears Aunt Louise from across the room.

“Poor soul,” she remarks lowly, but loud enough that Sarah hears, and knows she means her. Looking up, curls half obscuring her face, Sarah is just in time to see Aunt Louise lean across and whisper something to Uncle Henry. Something that she knows is about her parents, who, she is sure are both somewhere at opposite ends of the house being mad at each other. That was always the way now.

And then It’s a few weeks later and suddenly, well, not so, if you thought about it like Sarah did, her father is gone. Not coming back, according to her mother. And maybe, Sarah thinks, maybe if she had been better, he would have stayed and things could have changed. 

🎈 thirteen

A birthday’s not about things. It’s not about presents or decorations or balloons. At least, that’s supposed to be the sentiment. But for Sarah’s mother, it’s a different story. 

Sarah comes home to banners and giant helium balloons, a huge expense, but empty. She knows her mother had no personal hand in the matter. It had just been a call to her assistant and an exchange of money. Empty Gestures, like it always was with her mother. 

A store bought cake, perfectly piped with lettering ‘happy thirteenth Sarah’. It is anything but. Maybe it’s selfish but she wishes for a homemade cake, one like she’d heard her classmates talk about. Complain about, even. What she would give for something like that, something that’s not just empty. That would take time and effort and care. Not just a phone call. Because these are all just things. Not the stuff that makes treasured memories. 

There aren’t even people to share it all with. That would require friends. And middle school was lonely. 

So it’s just Sarah, alone at home, her mother didn’t even have it in her to take the time off work for her only daughter. Instead she sits there, at the table in the spotless kitchen, reading and rereading the typed card left for her, hoping somewhere to discern something more from it. Some hidden feelings in the black and white. But there aren’t. 

Maybe one day, she thinks, though it’s probably wishful thinking. She’s not six anymore, holding onto hope for change.

🎈 fifteen

High school is a little different, a little brighter. She’s changed schools, there are girls who it seems actually like her. Ones she can count as friends. And that’s how she finds herself in the cinema with Harriett and Grace and Marya the evening of her fifteenth birthday. 

She’s sat on the end of the row, beside Grace, sharing her popcorn with her and a fizzy drink that’s just a little too sweet for her liking. But Sarah doesn’t care because Grace holds her hand practically throughout the whole of the film. Sarah doesn’t really think the film is that scary but she’s willing to pretend as Grace holds her hand tightly, leaning close to her in her seat so that Sarah can smell the floral scent of the perfume she’s started wearing, the one that smells of jasmine and bergamot, coincidently two of Sarah’s favourite scents, though she can’t quite remember if she ever told Grace that. 

Grace laughs quietly at something on screen beside her, and Sarah thinks it’s a wonderful sound, like music. She loves knowing when she makes her laugh like that. Wouldn’t mind being able to do that more often. 

But it’s all a little bittersweet, because Grace will be gone by September, by the time the new school term starts. She’s moving with her family to Seattle, so if something ever could have come of them, neither will ever know. 

🎈 nineteen

Sarah feels freer now. She’s in college, out in the world, never mind that her world mainly consists of campus, her dorm, the little cafe down on Elm and the library. 

People are still hard, and her circle of people is ridiculously small, but not for lack of trying. There isn’t much time for friends, anyhow she tells herself. Her goal here is to do well. She has to do well. She is, and that’s her consolation. 

But it’s her birthday and she’s tired and her heart is heavy and she just wants to not feel so alone. So it’s probably a poor decision but it’s summer and she’s alone in her dorm, most other people having left for the holidays; she just can’t stomach going back, and in any case doesn’t think her mum would even miss her presence. There are no calls or messages from the few friends she’d had in high school. Nothing. Which hurts, because she always remembers their birthdays. But maybe they didn’t feel the same way. They’d moved on, probably; she should too. 

It’s just her in her dorm, alone that Monday night.

It’s impulsive, and she’ll regret it later, she knows, but the bottle is right there in her cupboard and even if it’s for a little bit, she just wants to forget, to not think, to lose focus. Even if it’s only temporary. 

The one and only time she allows herself to do this, truly let go of herself like this. And it’s not one of those wild stories to be told later and made light of, it’s not a party or surrounded by friends. It’s just her, alone with the bottle, trying to rid herself of her thoughts. 

🎈 twenty-six 

Sarah is exhausted. Her rotation in the ED is taking its toll on her. The shifts, the long days and nights. But this is everything she had been working towards. What practically everything she had done since she was sixteen had been for. 

So that evening, all she wants to do is to go home, order some takeout from the ramen place she likes and maybe watch a movie. Just something quiet with herself. 

She’s just home and showered, hair still damp and hanging loose when her phone rings. Unusual. Hardly anyone ever called her. What’s even more unusual is that it’s Natalie from Med calling her, and Sarah wonders what on earth she could want at this time of the evening, especially when neither of them have a night shift that day. 

She picks up, to hear Natalie asking if she could come round and watch Owen because she needed to run out to the grocery store and there was no one else to. 

Sarah sighs inwardly. So much for her quiet night. But she goes. It’s not like she had any real plans tonight. If anything, watching Owen might be a help. She knows sitting in front of the TV, especially tonight, would lead her mind to wander. To places and thoughts she didn’t want it to go. It was probably for the best. So she pulls on jeans and a sweater and goes. 

Natalie answers the door, pulling Sarah inside. “Thank you so much for coming, honestly I don’t know what else I would have done,” she gushes.

“Don’t mention it—“ Sarah begins, but the words die on her lips as Natalie leads her into the kitchen. 

April is there, holding Owen, and Maggie is beside her with Noah and Ethan and Connor and Will and a few of the others. 

“Happy Birthday!” They all call out in unison, smiles on their faces and Owen waving his small fists, not quite understanding, but knowing something good is happening.  

Sarah is completely taken aback. She hadn’t been expecting anything, let alone this. She didn’t even think they all knew when her birthday was. 

“You didn’t think we were gonna leave you all on your one, did you?” Maggie asks, pulling her into a tight embrace. 

This, Sarah thinks, is what a family must feel like. 

🎈 twenty-seven

So much has changed. For one thing, Sarah’s a psych resident now. Something she never thought she would be, but she’s enjoying it. For another, and this is the biggest one, there’s Ava. And that is amazing and terrifying in equal parts all at the same time. 

Ava wouldn’t  tell her where they were going. Only that it required Sarah to dress up. It turned out to be a fancy Italian restaurant, one that apparently Ava had had her eyes on for months for this very occasion. Sarah had never really been one for grand gestures, considering her mother’s track record with them; they’d always felt empty. But with Ava, it is completely, entirely different. The way Ava is excited about it probably more than Sarah, because she loves surprising her, seeing her happy. And that, for Sarah, makes the day. Because it is so genuine and heartfelt. 

Sarah can’t think of a time where she’s felt lighter than she does now. 

But that’s not even everything. They get home, and Ava leads Sarah to the couch, telling her to sit, and disappears off into the kitchen. She’s only gone for a short time, and when she returns, she’s bearing a decadent chocolate cake on a platter, iced with ‘happy birthday Sarah,’ in Ava’s familiar, looping script, candles flickering in the dim light. Ava made this. For her. 

It’s perfect, and she tells her so as Ava sets the platter down on the coffee table in front of her. 

“Blow out the candles,” Ava says softly, and Sarah does, as her girlfriend snaps a photo of her, smiles etched on both their faces. 

“Thank you,” Sarah tells her quietly as Ava comes to sit beside her, placing a kiss to her lips.  

“Happy birthday, my love,” whispers Ava when they break apart. And it is. Completely.