#long post im sowwy i just dont have anywhere else to put this work rant stuff lol

[angustully]

another work post, but last night i was talking w my parents and my stepdad was like so whats the next step with your job like how are you gonna use this for the next thing and i was so..... annoyed LOL bc its like. at every dead end job ive had in the past 5 years they never once asked me a question like that and now that i have something i LIKE doing and is RELEVANT to my interests its like its still not even enough.. somehow..?? like idk i dont plan on being there for 20 years like some of the people there but jesus christ its been two months! and they dont even listen to me when i try to tell them about the steps forward im taking WITHIN the job, like getting trained on audio and editing together promos and now tomorrow im starting graphics training. like i truly dont know what they want from me?? i mean i want to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that the question must have come from a place of like.. wanting me to want better for myself and i do! but i think more than that it comes down to them just hating that im only working part time. they had the same issue with my grocery store job but then when i worked the full time office job they never asked me if its what i wanted, they were just fine with me working 40 hours. raaarrrgghhh i dont get it!!!!!! um anyways to end this on another humble brag note, one of the directors jon is very intimidating to me and sometimes i cant tell if he likes me or not lmao but last week he asked if i had any interest in directing and i was like well sure if you guys want me as director... idk..???! and he just kinda nodded like yes yes we do... and then another time he was helping me w promos and i was getting confused with one thing while trying to ask about another so i said something like 'sorry, hold on, i cant do two things at once' and he just laughed n said well i dont even believe that because i know you can, i seen you do it and that was such a weird but nice thing fhkddhjdd like AAAAAA im being noticed at work...... my superiors are forming opinions about me and my capabilities aaaaaaaaa girl help!