#lonely hearts of whitstone u

[projectsbymilo]

project: lonely hearts of whitstone u 

“i have a nalgene bottle full of homemade moonshine and an uncomfortably doomful sense of dèjá vu. let’s do this thing.”

talia wells has only been back from her semester abroad for a handful of weeks, and things have already gone to hell in a handbasket. her first mistake was agreeing to ghostwrite the love advice column of the gamma phi newsletter (especially being that she’s not a sorority member and knows very little about love). her second mistake was immediately and inexplicably becoming the right-hand woman of hattie taylor, g-phi president and easily the most terrifying individual ever educated at whitstone university...

[seventeeneightyfine]

talk about your fav character from the lonely hearts one

during her junior year, rachel lancaster was nearly expunged from her high school’s branch of the national honor society. not because she didn’t have enough volunteer hours like everybody else, but because she conducted a sustained and deeply unnecessary campaign to remove the line “i will be loyal to my school” from the induction oath for vague ideological reasons. in bad news, clearly she cannot pick her battles worth a damn. in somewhat better news, that very detail-oriented attitude is what makes her the excellent gamma phi secretary she is today.

[projectsbymilo]

lonely hearts cast as romcom archetypes

talia: claims not to believe in love; secretly wants love

rachel: judgemental, straight-laced friend 

jordan: background nerd who suddenly becomes plot-relevant

willow: “fairy godmother” (aka “confident meddler”)

hattie: popular frenemy 

nora: petty ex

sophie: the guy who makes a scene in a restaurant

connor: excessively clean-cut male lead

andrew: rebellious, artistic male lead

[projectsbymilo]

project: lonely hearts of whitstone u (radio station edition)

“I’m DJ Red.” 

“And I’m DJ Commons.” 

“And we have advice for you, lonely hearts of Whitstone U.” 

[projectsbymilo]

“rachel gilles is the kind of person who, as a child, was better than everyone else at girl scouting. she was the kid who put every other member of the girl scout troop to shame because somehow, defying all reason, she sold and delivered over nine hundred boxes of cookies. she’s the one who continued with girl scouts until mid-high school and won every possible honor. this is not a statement on the nature of the girl scouts, who run a good and well-respected organization. rather, this is the only way in which maura can truly be understood by someone who has never met her, seen her, or been on the receiving end of one of her patented recommendations to drop everything and become a vegan as expediently as humanly possible.”

[projectsbymilo]

“talia...hmm. talia is the kind of person who sold stuff in middle school. she was probably the kid who figured out how to make the kind of woven bracelet that was on trend and capitalized on it like there was no tomorrow. she took advantage of the fact that other middle schoolers didn’t understand that $5 was too much to pay for a few pieces of embroidery floss and didn’t feel even a tinge of shame about it. then, she probably used her earnings to buy a hair straightener and four boxes of purple manic panic, because i’m going to go out on a limb and guess that she had a real scene phase. you know, i mean this in the nicest way, obviously. talia’s a real sweetie...bless her heart.”