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inchidentally · 22 days ago

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I think there's something so poetic in the fact that, before being in F1, Oscar was a Lando fan (as we all saw on twitter) and we know (through his mom) that he thought being Lando's teammate in his 1st year would be the best thing for him since no one would expect him to beat someone so good and now, our little Osc will officially be Lando's longest teammate to date 💜

I just think that is beautiful and warms my heart, and I like to think fanboy Oscar is a little crazy about this as well.

anonnnnn I had no idea it would literally be this very weekend for that milestone ;__;

side note you reminded me I didn't add to the Oscar pre-F1 Lando fanboy compilation about him telling Nicole he would feel a lot less pressure being Lando's teammate bc "everyone knows how good he is"

and like, that moment made me think of when she saw his heartrate going through the roof on his monitor after she had the bicycle accent and how he doesn't express his love and affection in conventional ways, he shows it in private intimate ways that you have to get to know him and learn.

which leads on to him dreading replacing the beloved, Aussie icon Daniel and...

both of Lando's previous teammates being these PR slick gregarious outgoing extroverted types and not only was Oscar knowing his introduction to F1 was off the back of the Alpine drama he was also going to be replacing Daniel/a lineage of big beloved personalities as Lando's teammates and like ?? for someone who is lowkey and values his privacy and doesn't relish the spotlight that's just the w o r s t. Lola @twinkodium had followed Oscar before F1 and describes how awful it was to go through as an Oscar fan <3

and then when we all started exploring the Prema videos and realizing oh! actually Oscar's super sassy and sarcastic and even pretty mouthy with his teammates - and sure he dreaded PR filming days then too but he was SO different to that early McLaren content (and even current content tbh). and Lando was already being put in this "so you're the older mentor now" which was not comfortable and it took him some time to figure Oscar out and trust and like him! the development of his relationship with Oscar has been so rewarding in how gently and gradually it's happened ?? some ppl still want the PR bromance content but I feel like the whole charm of landoscar is that they both rejected developing a PR aspect of their relationship from the start and everything we see of them is authentic. sometimes they're feeling the challenge or interview and they're giggling and happy and funny. other times they're not feeling it so they give each other these teasing looks and just get through it. other times they're absolutely not feeling it and oh.

!!!

what's wild to me is that Lando has finally decided that he's not going to perform just because everyone expects him to be cute and bubbly and full of jokes all the time !! and he said that he's learned from Oscar “keeping calm and being yourself, it’s good to be reminded of that. I think he's been very, very good at dealing with pressure, better than I feel like I remember I was when I started." I often see ppl complaining that Lando is "serious" and "not as happy" just because he's a)grown up from a teenager to a seasoned professional adult and b)they've chosen to never see those other sides of him even when he's exhibited them all along - they were just never something he showed very often (considering people only seemed to react to him being fun and lighthearted, no wonder).

but alongside him figuring Oscar out that first year he started realizing oh, this guy has serious respect for me and doesn't expect anything of me. and I can ask for things and demand certain things and not be "on" or happy all the time and THAT is how Oscar shows he cares about me! he's not only showing me deference and respect, he also smiles fondly at every weird little shade of me I let out! (this picture will always be to me the 'oh! that's who you are! there you are!' moment bc godddd the complexity in his eyes and in his expression that seems to freeze time in the celebrations and he focuses solely on Oscar jesussssss)

so in getting a much more authentic, subtle insight into a teammate dynamic between Lando and Oscar, there also feels like a much more authentic and subtle insight into Lando as a person. the more serious, sometimes broody, quiet, shy and anxious sides of Lando stopped only happening on late night streams with Max and maybe the occasional post race where he couldn't switch it on for cameras, all started showing up at all of his media and PR that season - and he's stayed ever since.

bc for guys like Daniel and Carlos, learning PR is about controlling PR and the invasiveness that being in the spotlight brings. it's sort of a disarming attack being the best sort of defense method. which is fine for people who have the energy and won't be sapped by having to keep that up almost non-stop. or like Carlos have a family support system who will get ahead of things as much as possible (and even there, they still can't predict everything they media will do). but Lando has never been capable of that! he was a shy, self-confessedly pretty reclusive guy before Carlos and F1. he hits energy dips hard. he's incapable of lying (or lying convincingly) even to save his own skin. so he borrows those guys' energy when they're together (this includes George and Alex too) to cope and still does to this day.

but !! all of his own natural qualities generate the wildest extremes of PR adoration and persecution for him. being unable to lie and not having a skill for PR filter has created some of his highest and lowest experiences with fans and the media.

and side note it's super uncomfortable to see people literally complain about him showing more complexity and maturity alongside his usual fun, bubbly side and to have those same fans - who claim to know and adore him - totally bypass that he's a mental health advocate and say that he's not "himself" or his "old self" because he's not performing enough and daring to grow and develop each year and not restricting his on camera presence solely to fun and jokes and laughter. almost as uncomfortable as said people advocating for Lando's mental health and anti-bullying and then going on hate campaigns and flooding comment sections of major media accts absolutely trashing Oscar, trying to start rumors about Oscar's family and cultivating insane theories to twist Lando smiling, laughing and being relaxed with Oscar as suffering and hating and barely coping with having Oscar as a teammate. (and the delusions that Lando wouldn't clash with Carlos or Daniel if they were his teammate now that McLaren is at the front of the pack ????? is utterly utterly insane slfgsajlfgsalfgsafgsal. a shiver passes over me when ppl wish for that bc considering those awful carland0 'breakup' gifs from like 2021? imagine the horror of then watching it slowly die in front of our very eyes. like. the total failure to see the reality of these drivers' real personalities and on track dynamics bc of rpf is insane. I'm literally casually expecting Lando and Oscar to have battles and hugely awkward moments next season even tho it's been shockingly civil and mature this season. bc that's how drivers are in those situations! and oops it's actually rly good that Lando and Oscar incorporated that professional boundary as they've developed their relationship - bc off track besties suddenly battling each other for championship wins? have we learned nothing of how awful that is no matter how much the besties say it won't be ??)

and like, this is probably why I went from starting this blog just to follow fun F1 memes and the popular rpf ships to actually starting to use it bc of landoscar. the Silverstone hug was such a satisfying 'oh!' turning point that's even more gratifying and complex the longer they're teammates. and not in an rpf way! I go stupid and write fic etc but truly most of the things I think we love about this ship aren't crossing over into fantasy land or pretending they're eeeeeeveryting to each other or pretending that they loooove each other more than their girlfriends/girlfriend or that they're "better friends" with each other than other friends etc etc. even the fan fiction is so damn good bc the majority is based on the subtle dynamics we've witnessed between them rather than just projecting fantasy onto them. I mean we all love having ships where the guys are playing into it and share tons of content with us to play with sure. but we also know there's a blurred boundary between PR and reality that we'll never rly see for sure. whereas Lando and Oscar's relationship is a layered thing with no PR gloss to it that can just be plopped into a fic concept and see where they end up, yknow? it always ends up compelling.

and then Oscar having preferred to run the most painful gauntlet just to sign with McLaren, then his further commitment and loyalty showing itself at the first opportunity, Lando recommitting to McLaren and including Oscar in that, Lando calling them the strongest partnership on the grid, them both today saying how they both set aside ego and achieve balance through teamwork.

that is the kind of stuff that is unique and has a genuine future and strength to it. it's exhausting and often painful to watch two guys who got super chummy and friendly first and then deal with both wanting to be the winner at absolutely everything only to realize - as so many do - that it's messy and uncomfortable as hell. for instance I learned early on that it always shakes out fine with Charles and Carlos, but the fireworks that make their dynamic so exciting and fun is also why the battles are so intense and explosive. they were made so thoroughly perfectly for each other as friends but therefore in so many ways the opposite as teammates. I'm gutted at losing all the content after this season but I'm fascinated to see over the coming years how things will settle bc that pressure will finally be off.

but we're watching that whole thing consciously being done in reverse with Lando and Oscar and, considering the challenges they've faced, the professional and personal dynamic and relationship they've cultivated together (esp with the open door policy between their garages) is fucking working so far. the fans are screaming and losing their shit while those two are calmly shaking hands, shaking the whole thing off when it's done and already caught beaming and smiling at each other before they notice the camera is on for the post race. Lando is the guy who speaks with words, Oscar with actions. Lando wears his emotions on his sleeve and hates being disingenuous, Oscar would rather let the media and public get him wrong than expose himself too much. Lando has a whole life and separate company, Oscar has a whole life with Lily. they never made their off track time available to fans and don't have to feel pressure to perform there either. even Monza, they were bonded in misery and traveled home together and showed up for press the next race with the same objectives.

tee el dee are, I feel like this milestone says a lot about the potential for them as teammates - and quite frankly if the rest of us have to block out the swarms of fans who can't follow the example of maturity and reason set by Lando and Oscar - and we end up with a small but sane space then I'm all for that !

#inchreplies #this is absolutely rambling and all over the fucking place anon I'm sorry #I started feeling things which is never a good sign #inchidentallyanessay

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nonbinary-alien25 · 4 months ago

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tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

tagged by @yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere thanks for the tag!

Last Song: currently listening to ICU by Citizen Soldier (at the time of starting this post). before that it was Gone Too Soon by Daughtry. at the time of finishing and posting this, i am currently listening to Lucky One by Simple Plan

Favorite Color: dark purple. always dark purple. dark purple my beloved <3

Currently Reading: nothing atm because i haven't had the chance to make another trip to the library, but the last book i read was The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown! Very sad but very good. I've also recently read Stars, Hide Your Fires by Jessica Mary Best, The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester by Maya MacGregor, and I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver! I very much enjoyed all 4 of them, but I will say that The Many Half-Lived Lives of Sam Sylvester was definitely my favorite :)

Currently Watching: rewatching Star Trek: Discovery with my dad (and introducing my mom to it at the same time), watching Only Murders in the Building with my mom for the first time, and my dad and I just recently finished watching Star Trek: Lower Decks. plus my mom and I are always in a perpetual rewatch of Legends of Tomorrow and/or Arrow (though they've been on pause a little bit lately). now I'm just waiting for The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon: The Book of Carol to come back in late September lmao, among other shows

Last Movie: uhhhh I'm honestly not entirely sure. I think it might've been either Heart of Stone or Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, but I could be wrong about that

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: definitely savory. i do love salt lmao. i do still have a bit of a sweet tooth but nowhere near as much as i used to, and now it's mostly reserved for white chocolate and other vanilla-flavored things lmao

Relationship Status: i am so, so incredibly, painfully single and i do not see that changing anytime soon unfortunately

Current Obsessions: uhhh, i guess my usuals? Citizen Soldier, of course, Legends, The Walking Dead, Star Trek. those are like. the main ones, idk.

Tea or Coffee: neither. i can't stand to drink either of them, they both taste nasty to me ngl. just let me have apple juice and i'm set

Last Thing I Googled: uhhhh ngl i think it was 'savory definition' just to make sure my "i love salt" comment would make sense LMAO but before that it was the 4 books I've read recently to make sure I was getting the names of the authors correct

andddd idk if i actually have 9 people to tag but i'll do my best.

No pressure tags: @forthehonorofgrey @chocolatemilk25 @for-forever21 @lochjhessmonster @lola-andheruniverse @justpalsbeingals @marimacha-tonto @mari-the-alien and anyone else who wants to! (just pretend i tagged you lol)

#about alien #alien's life #tag game #tumblr tag game

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sgiandubh · 6 months ago

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For no particular reason: Lola's homemade chocolate

Today is Lola the Corgi's presumed birthday. We chose it approximately, while at the vet's, because Lola's story is nothing short of a canine miracle. She jumped in my cab, somewhere in the humble outskirts of Bucharest, on Saint Nicholas' Day. The driver asked, absurdly, if that was 'my dog' and I simply answered 'well, now it is'.

Little did we know the shaking, stone cold and scared to death puppy was a very rare Cardigan Corgi - this came later, when a British friend was amazed at the recovery and pointed it out adamantly. She could have been stolen or simply lost, but we will never know and we never looked back.

All our dogs had Spanish names (except for cats, always boys and always Pasha, namesakes of a beloved Shipper Mom's childhood pet), simply because they are easy to learn and remember. In her case, Lola is for...

for well... for obvious locomotion reasons 🤣 #LolaFlores. Twelve years with a supremely intelligent and empathic friend deserved a batch of my homemade chocolate, don't you think?

Too bad she can't try it. But enough babbling, here goes.

You will need: 2 cups/ 250 grams milk powder - I recommend Nestlé's Carnation, if you can't get hold of Rarăul, the obscure, Communist local brand (so damn good); 2 sticks/200 grams full fat butter (I recommend Irish butter, always with excellent results), at room temperature, cubed; 7 Tablespoons/50 grams cocoa (Dutch, if you can, but I prefer either Ghirardelli or the Greek Ion brand, which I think are the best on this planet); 2½ cups/ 500 grams Demerara sugar (or caster sugar). A dash of instant coffee, for decorating. You can replace sugar by stevia sweetener (measure accordingly - I used this, because I was also cooking for a severe diabetic who can't control herself), with very good results. Optional: crushed tea biscuits or cookies in the US/chopped hazelnuts/pine nuts/walnuts/peanut butter (in swirls) - sky is the limit. For the adult version, feel free to add a hefty swig of brandy/rhum/whisky/bourbon/vodka/limoncello or hey, let's be totally dirty (sssh!), Bailey's.

In a nonstick pan, gently simmer 3/4 cup or 170 ml cold water with ALL the sugar. Stir nonstop (only with wooden spoon or silicone spatula, never metal - it lends a foul taste!) until you get a sort of thin syrup - basically the sugar should dissolve, nothing more. 2 to 3 minutes should be enough.

Add the cubed butter, stir gently until it melts and incorporates completely. 10 minutes max, but never stop stirring!

Take the pan off the heat. Gently pour dry milk in small batches, stirring and incorporating continuously. It should immediately thicken, sticky fudge consistency.

Gently mix the cocoa, with slow, ample bottom/top movements (you don't want it anywhere else but in that pan, for sure). Right consistency should be a thick ribbon, pouring from the spoon.

Back to the heat for about 30 to 45 seconds, stirring all the time. I have no idea why, but my grandma always insisted it was very important, go figure. Take off the heat and immediately add the nuts and (if you choose) the alcohol, mixing vigorously.

Pour into a well buttered loaf tin. Dust with instant coffee. Let cool, put into fridge for 6 hours minimum (overnight is better). Only cut with a wet knife. Devour and don't think about the damn calories.

I am sorry for the very, very old pic (2010, I think). Tonight, it was impossible to take a proper one 😱.

This is what we do call 'homemade chocolate' all over Eastern Europe, but to be honest, it's rather some very, very good fudge. The dry milk is a dead giveaway of the real age of the recipe, which is around 1945 - postwar rationing, of course.

You are welcome. You won't regret the 45 minutes you're likely to spend making it.

#cookery #summer #dessert #family recipe - 1940s #moderately difficult

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askdennycotl · 3 months ago

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Welcome!

This is an art/text ask blog for my Cult of the Lamb OC.

Warnings

This blog is not recommended for minors, as it may contain images of violence, obscene language and NSFW content. Any post with such content will be marked as adult.

English is not my native language, so there may be grammatical and spelling errors.

Not all questions get answered.

You can't hurt Denny unless I want you to.

About Denny

She was found by the Lamb in the Darkwood.

Denny is an ordinary cultist. She's mainly engaged in farming and prayers at the shrine.

Traits:

Zealous

Pettable

Ascetic

Some facts about Denny

Denny's diary

oct 30

nov 11

"Denny speaks like this."

"The Shadow/Demon speaks like this."

The actions look like this.

(Mod speaks like this) or like this.

Relationships

The Lamb - The Leader of the cult. Denny deeply respects them.

The Goat - Denny doesn't see them as a Leader and treats them neutrally.

*Jade - Denny's beloved. Currently dating.

*Lopina - Denny's daughter. Despite the fact that Lopina is not her biological daughter, Denny loves her with all her heart.

*Spellcaster - a close friend and mentor in magic.

Lola - a friend.

Sean, Dotty, Briar, Jhon, Nox, Obscurus, Keni, Candy - they can't be called friends yet, but Denny definitely thinks well of them and cares about them too.

Silas - neither friends nor enemies. Denny had too little interaction with him to have any opinion.

Ethan (Scanny) - still a complicated relationship to be able to say something for sure. But Denny cares about him.

Narinder - neither friends nor enemies.

Nim - all Denny knows about Nim is that she's Ethan's wife. Denny has no opinion about her. Well, maybe that she should take better care of Ethan.

Imora, Tally - Denny stopped thinking of them as enemies. But she's still calmer when they're not around.

Flowey - ENEMY. Denny would definitely try to burn that damn flower the next time they met.

'*' - the ones Denny cares about the most. Your relationship with these characters will affect your relationship with Denny.

Lola

Lola is a minor character in this ask blog. She will rarely answer questions and even less often take part in role-playing.

"Lola speaks like this."

About the Shadow

She/They/It

Name: ???

Age: ???

After Denny was cursed by anon, the Shadow settled in her mind and didn't disappear even after her death.

At the moment, the Shadow cannot take control of Denny's body. But Denny almost always hears their voice in her head, sees them in the shadows and in the reflection.

There are three ways the Shadow can take control of Denny's body. And under different conditions, they will behave differently.

Denny will voluntarily give up control for some reason.

Denny will experience critically negative emotions that she will not be able to keep control.

Sacrifice or take Denny's soul.

The third case is the most critical and should be avoided.

Remember that when control of the body belongs to the Shadow, Denny still feels, sees and hears everything.

The shadow is a powerful and dangerous creature. They are immortal and can't be killed.

There is only one way to rid Denny of the Shadow.

Others

@askacultleader as The Lamb

@no-less-than-a-lambgod as the Ascended Lamb

@ask-thepurplecrownbearer as The Goat, unholy Ally

@ask-theredcrown as The One Who Waits

@ask-thegreencrown as Leshy, Bishop of Chaos

@askthe-yellowcrown as Heket, Bishop of Famine

@ask-thebluecrown as Kallamar, Bishop of Pestilence

@ask-thepurplecrown as Shamura, Bishop of War

@disciplesofthelamb as Briar, Dotty and Silas

@askobscurusnahual as Obscurus

@spellcaster-dude as Spellcaster

@pbam0ney as Sean

@ask-follower-jade as Jade

@thepersonaking56 as Lopina

@nox-the-cat as Nox

@jhon-the-cat-follower as Jhon

Hi! I'm Jey. This is my first ask blog on tumblr.

You can also check out my main art blog: @jeyk2117

And my another blog for reblogs and anything else: @jeyirl-21

OC ask blog (Red Moon): @ask-red-moon

Gallery

Art 1

Art 2

Art 3

Art 4

Art 5

Art 6

Art 7

Art 8

Sketch 1

Sketch 2

Sketch 3

Sketch 4

Sketch 5

The Shadow 1

The Shadow 2

Denny humanization

Denny from my playthrough

Broken soul

Yandere Denny

Halloween art

Heathers cosplay

Bunny suit

Snow

Ice skating

Half Life AU

#cult of the lamb #cotl #cotl oc #ask blog #cotl ask blog #oc #main post

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panakinthedisco · 5 months ago

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MISTY ━━ Joel Miller

summary: it all started at a station stop, a conversation about your beloved country, and somehow, in that moment, joel miller became utterly captivated by you.

author's note: i specifically made this one-shot for my SEA and filipina girlies rahhhhhh🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 🇵🇭 🇵🇭!!! we need more representation in this fandom so i had to do it <3 but i hope y'all enjoy this because this is just FLUFF :))

word count: 3k

“The Philippines must be very beautiful.” Joel Miller says to you when you tell him where you’re from. You trembled at the way he said your name — revealing much more of his Southern accent and also his undeniable charm. Even though no one calls your birth name, folks in your country called you by your nickname except your dear Lola back home in Manila.

It makes you feel beautiful, or perhaps it’s just the lulling motion of this train to New York, the luxury of having nothing to do -– the way you feel on a holiday, you think, though you haven’t been on one since before you left for the United States five years ago. You’re not entirely sure. And now, you’re overwhelmed by the sensations you're experiencing with Joel Miller — thrilling and intense. Yet, in an instant, your Catholic guilt takes over, making you feel ashamed for enjoying his attention.

Religion has always been a central part of your life, ingrained in you by your overbearing mother, who is almost a fanatic. She vigorously enforced her beliefs, and you obeyed dutifully, attending Mass, saying your prayers, and adhering to the teachings of the Church. Your mother’s strict adherence to Catholicism shaped your upbringing, leaving little room for deviation.

But as you reflect, you admit to yourself that you secretly rebelled when you were younger. Those small acts of defiance, hidden from your mother's watchful eyes, were your way of reclaiming some sense of freedom. Now, as you sit on this train, the memories of those rebellions mix with the current thrill, leaving you in a whirlwind of emotions.

“It is beautiful,” You said softly, a little like a sigh. The sound of that small exhalation hangs in the dry air between you and Joel like a gauzy mosquito net that you and your cousins slept beneath when you were children while you’re staying over at your grandmother’s house. This was before Lola had air conditioners installed and they could shut out the mosquitoes. You had an urge to tell him that. And then, almost as if he hears your thoughts, Joel asks you what your home is like.

Smiling, you begin to share your memories. "My grandmother owned a piece of land a few miles away from the city. We had a small family farm there. When I was younger, I used to play around the chicken pens and even feed the goats with my cousins. We'd pick pale yellow mangoes from the trees on the farm and line them up in rows on the grass to ripen in the sunshine."

Joel listens intently, his eyes reflecting a genuine interest. Encouraged, you continue, "We used to walk barefoot through the muddy rice fields and catch field snails, which we’d eat in the evening. I remember how we’d have competitions to see who could collect the most snails. I was quite competitive about it," you say with a laugh.

You describe how you would go fishing in the rice field ponds and in the swampy shallow waters, reaching down with your bare hands to catch mudfish. "It was always such a thrill to feel the slippery fish wriggle in your grasp," you add.

Your mind drifts back to those carefree days. "We'd also climb the trees and pick guavas and tamarinds, sometimes sneaking a few bites before bringing them back to Lola's kitchen. The smell of her cooking would fill the air, blending with the earthy scent of the countryside. In the evenings, we'd sit outside, listening to the cicadas and telling stories under the stars."

Joel's expression softens as he imagines the scenes you paint with your words. "It sounds like a paradise," he says, his voice low and thoughtful.

"It was," you reply, a touch of wistfulness in your tone. "Those memories are some of the happiest of my life."

Then Joel asks you, “Isn’t it a country of islands? What are the beaches like?” His hazel brown eyes pierce beneath the reading light of the train, filled with curiosity.

You smile, your mind immediately drifting to the many beautiful beaches you’ve visited. "Yes, it is a country of islands," you begin. "The beaches are incredible, each one unique. I've been to quite a few, but my favorite memories are from my mother's hometown on an island in Palawan called Cuyo."

Joel leans in closer, captivated by your words. "Cuyo is a small, quiet place, but it's absolutely stunning. The beaches there are like something out of a postcard—white sand, crystal-clear waters, and vibrant coral reefs just offshore. I always loved going to the beach there. The water is so clear that you can see the fish swimming around your feet."

You pause, reminiscing about the warmth of the sun and the gentle sound of the waves. "When I was a child, I would often go with the fishermen. They’d take their boats out early in the morning, and sometimes I’d tag along. The sea would be calm, and we’d glide over the water, watching the sunrise paint the sky in shades of pink and orange. They'd teach me how to cast nets and catch fish. It was an amazing experience, being so close to nature and learning from people who had lived off the sea for generations."

Joel's eyes remain fixed on you, his expression soft and engaged. You continue, "During the afternoons, we'd play on the beach, building sandcastles and collecting seashells. The island is surrounded by reefs, so snorkeling was a favorite activity. The underwater world is so colorful and full of life—it's like a hidden paradise."

You share more about the island's charm, the simple yet fulfilling life there. "We'd have picnics on the beach, with freshly caught seafood and tropical fruits. My mother would tell us stories about her own childhood, and we'd sit there, listening as the sun set over the horizon."

The memories flood back, each one more vivid than the last. "I also remember walking along the shore at night, the moonlight reflecting on the water. Sometimes, we'd see bioluminescent plankton, making the waves glow. It felt like magic."

Joel smiles, clearly enchanted by your stories. "It sounds like an incredible place," he says softly.

"It really is," you reply, a warm glow in your heart. "Cuyo and its beaches hold a special place in my memories. It's a place where time seems to slow down, and you can truly appreciate the beauty of nature."

You met Joel at the station stop in Chicago. He smiled at you, and you smiled back. That was all. He found the empty seat beside you.

And it began with your name. It must have been foreign for Joel to hear a name that is not Americanized. He repeats your name – not like a question, but as though he likes the sound. Joel reaches for your hand, and shakes it, “I’m pleased to meet you.”

The Amtrak 49 train moves from the Midwest to the East Coast, specifically New York. You opted to take the train to save on airfare, but the truth is, you also wanted a little extra time to unwind during the sixteen-hour journey. You are grateful to have met Joel Miller from Texas, who is also on his way to New York for a visit. It feels like an unexpected windfall, and you are giddy and thrilled to have him to intrigue and engage, just as he intrigues and engages you.

Joel Miller is an enchanting distraction, precisely because he seems equally captivated by you. You savor the minutes like sweets in your mouth. It's been so long since someone has paid you this much attention, and you feel flushed and drunk with it.

You listen to Joel talk, struggling not to be wide-eyed and open-mouthed, though it’s hard to avoid his hazel brown eyes that make butterflies in your stomach flutter. He listens to you in that same way, as though every word that drops from your lips is candy-coated delicious. Thinking this, you pop a breath mint into your mouth when he isn’t looking. You feel absolutely silly about what you’re doing.

He is older than her. He must be in his mid-thirties while you’re in the middle of the twenties, quite new to the corporate world and still struggling to keep up with the inflation. He didn’t mention whether he’s married or not but he might have a wife in Texas or in New York. Those thoughts flood into your head and you steal a glance — surprisingly, he’s looking at you too.

What is he thinking, you think, don’t let him be thinking of you. And then just as quickly, please let him be thinking of me.

You cannot help allowing yourself this quick sweet rush of happiness like having a man come to call at your house, bringing flowers or candy. Like a date on a weekday evening. Like that certain knowledge that someone yearns to kiss you.

You are wanted. You are beautiful in the eyes of Joel Miller.

As the train continues its journey, the conversation with Joel deepens. He suddenly asks, “Wasn’t there a big revolution in the Philippines in the 80s? The EDSA Revolution? I remember hearing about it on the news. It seemed to captivate the world.”

You nod, your expression turning serious. "Yes, the EDSA Revolution in 1986 was a pivotal moment in our history. My parents were both involved in it. My mother and father fought against the dictatorship. My father was a student activist at a prestigious university, and it was incredibly difficult for him."

Joel's eyes widened with interest, and you continue, "There were times when my father had to hide because of his controversial writings against the president and the government. He told us stories about how he hid in the countryside, constantly looking over his shoulder. It was terrifying for him."

You pause, your thoughts drifting back to the stories your father shared. "But he fought back by writing and eventually took part in the EDSA Revolution. I remember the tears in his eyes when he talked about tasting freedom for the first time. He always said he was doing it for us, for me and my siblings."

Joel is silent for a moment, clearly moved by your story. "Your father is incredibly brave," he says softly. "To stand up against such a regime and fight for what he believed in... that's remarkable."

You smile, a mix of pride and sadness in your eyes. "He is brave. He risked everything for a cause he believed in, for a future he wanted for his children. The EDSA Revolution was a peaceful protest, but it was filled with so much emotion and hope. My father's involvement in it shaped who he is and, in turn, who I am."

Late at night, Joel asks you if you want to get something to eat. The dining car is open. You agreed to his invitation and made way down the aisle. The car is dark and most of the passengers are slumped in sleep, their shapes suggest they are in the most comfortable position possible, given the uncomfortable circumstances. Their heads are buried under coats and sweaters. Every now and then, a snore emitted from an old man. Or a faint cry from a hungry baby in the back of the car. When you stumbled from your step, losing your balance, Joel grabs you and clasps your hand in his to steady you.

They order cups of coffee and eat crumbly stale chocolate chip cookies out of small carton boxes. You did not remember when you had talked so long or laughed so much. And it is exciting to know that as you both talk, towns and cities rush past in a midnight blur. Both of you are far away from everything.

Close to four in the morning, you both stumbled down the aisle, back to your seats. You are already sleepy in a warm, comfortable way. Your eyelids are heavy, like they have been smeared with thick honey, and sure enough, they close stickily. You let your head drop and fall lightly to rest upon his shoulder.

When Joel reaches over to flick your reading light, you sighed, inhaling his scent. For an instant, you open your eyes but it is completely dark and quiet except for the sound of the train on its tracks. As you exhaled you fell asleep, but not before hearing Joel’s hoarse whisper as he fixed the unruly hair that is covering your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Joel calls you on your phone, his voice urgent. It’s been a week since your last meeting and he asked for your number — in which you gave it to him. You were not expecting anything in return and your long conservation is enough for you but at the back of your mind — you wish he’ll call you.

Hearing his voice almost made you stunned. You missed him and his presence.

“Have lunch with me today?” he says.

"I..I don't know." You said. It is indeed a bad time because you have a lot of things to do which is babysitting your aunt’s daughter but you looked over to the living room where your aunt is already busy taking care of your niece.

He speaks once again, "I have to see you. I have to show you something."

You looked at your wristwatch. You calculate the number of hours and you realize you can get away. You do have the time. You are heartbeat quickens. You want to see what he has to show you. But even more than that, you want to see him.

You clear your throat. In a low voice, you said, "Where should I meet you, Joel?"

Both of you meet in Central Park. Winter is on its last legs, and the air has a bit of warmth to it. Still, you wished that you were indoors. Your raincoat is very fluffy and lined but it is just warm enough for you.

"It's not raining," Joel says when he sees you.

"But it might." You said. "It might get colder. It might rain. I cannot take any chances."

"Okay."Joel smiles tenderly at you. You let yourself smile back, thinking, how dare he be. How sweet he is. He tells you,"Come on, I have a surprise for you."

You both walked briskly through the park, through the tree-lined paths, until they came to the gates of the Central Park Zoo.

"Here?" You asked him, Joel nods. "I was here yesterday. That's when I saw it."

You’re confused what he meant, "What?"

But Joel shakes his head, "You'll love it." He says. And he will not say anything anymore.

Both of you walked in the wet puddles that were once ice and snow. Although the leaves have still to emerge, people in the park are out with their books, perched on benches and big rocks by the pond, their faces to the sun as though they are tanning on a summer day.

You shivered, you cannot help it. Because it is cold, yes, but also because of now.

Joel takes your hand. Maybe because he saw you shiver. You glance at him uncertainly, and once more, catch him looking at you.

"Tell me."

He squeezes your hand. "Be patient." He says, as if to a child.

At the ticket gate, the attendant warns that because of the cold, not all the animals may be out and about. Joel laughs, and says,

"That's perfectly alright."

Once inside the zoo's gates, Joel walks with more speed. You had to trot to keep up because he would not slow down. He squeezes your hand again and tells you to close your eyes.

You did, and you are not afraid to fall with him leading you. You feel the cool air on your face, the gravel beneath your feet. You hear the seals barking, splashing in their pool.

His grip on your hand is stronger. Although you cannot see, you take steps with confidence.

Both of you stopped. You realized that you are both entering a building.

"Step up, sweetheart," Joel tells you. You hope that you didn’t blush.

All at once, a heat washes over, a fantastic wet, green heat so heavy, you are forced to draw a breath. You opened your eyes. You are in a jungle of thick ripe foliage. There is nobody else around. You can hear the cries of birds, the thick rustle of leaves and from somewhere, the sound of rain and trickling water. You can see trees, of deep green and black and brown, as you take your steps, you feel the soft ground beneath your feet.

You have never seen anything like this before.

You climb the wooden walkway through this tropical rain forest in the Central Park Zoo. The bridge is overlooking a small waterfall and beside it, there is steam rising from what you know is some hidden vent. Tiny beads of perspiration spring to your skin. You blow the bangs off your forehead.

At the other end of the bridge, Joel is still standing at the other side of the bridge and he is staring at you. As he wants to take everything about you. And then, your heart fluttered by his soft gaze.

And then, he went to you while your eyes never left his. He takes both of your hands in his, leans in and whispers in your ear, warm breath against your neck. “This is how it is in the Philippines, right? Isn’t this the way it is?”

You nodded and you know what is coming next. You feel that heat and stop thinking. You closed your eyes as Joel went closer to kiss you.

Moments later, you answered him, “Yes, this is the way it is.”

You thought if you haven't met Joel Miller on a train or maybe someday, against all the laws of probability, both of you met in another place or time but it doesn't matter right now. Meeting Joel Miller is a prelude to something wonderful and you felt it at the very beginning.

That swift, surprising transition from nothing to everything.

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