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archertf2 · 3 years

Text

ENTIRE TEAM IS BABIES

Chapter 4: All’s Well That Ends Well

Chapter 3

Hunter’s Bio

A/N: I’m finally done with a TF2 fic lol! It’s a miracle! Sorry it took me so long to write/finish this series! Writer’s block sucks and life kinda gets in the way so yeah lol. Hopefully I can try and finish my other TF2 series and write some more fics in the future. But for now, please enjoy and thank you for reading!

It was around 9 PM now in the badlands of New Mexico, so Hunter and Medic figured it was time to settle down for the night. Medic had put all the babies down to sleep after doing a quick check of if anybody needed a diaper change, then settled on the nearby sofa with a nice book.

Meanwhile, Hunter decided it was her turn for a shower and cleaned herself up while Medic stayed with the babies. After her nice, relaxing, and much needed shower, Hunter put on her pajamas and slippers and made her way back to the rec room.

She was a little anxious while heading back and wondered to herself whether it was because she’s so used to sneaking around when showering or because of her choice of pajamas. Hunter had on a frilly pink nightgown that wasn’t super sexy to be called lingerie, but it certainly wasn’t like the “modest” clothing she wore around the base. She definitely would’ve chosen different pajamas for the night, but unfortunately, she’s been so busy with this whole predicament that she hasn’t had the time to do her laundry, so she was basically stuck with the nightgown or actual lingerie, which she certainly did NOT feel comfortable wearing around the base.

Of course, the only person who would see her and comprehend what she was wearing would be Medic and for some reason that made her heart skip a beat (which she also couldn’t tell whether that was from anxiety or not).

“I have nothing to worry about.” She thought to herself. “The man’s seen me naked plenty of times in the lab for those annual physical exams. A little bit of skin showing won’t kill him…right?”

When Hunter entered the rec room she found Medic on the sofa with a book. His vest, tie, and boots had been taken off and put to the side as he held a book of some sort with one arm and baby Scout with the other. Little Scout was fast asleep in Medic’s big strong arms as he read his book.

Medic’s eyes were torn from the pages of his book when he noticed that Hunter had returned from her nightly shower. He looked at her and noted her feminine pajamas. He’s only ever seen her in her work uniform (and naked from time to time for physical exams and surgeries), so seeing her in a frilly night gown was a bit of a surprise. However, we certainly wasn’t complaining. The pajamas suited her well and she looked good in them…beautiful even. He smiled at her and lowered his book.

“I, erm- I was just coming in to see if you were alright…I mean with the babies.” Hunter nervously explained, hoping her reasoning didn’t sound too personal (even though, deep down, it kinda was). She silently scolded herself for even being nervous. This man has probably seen his fair share of women with or without pajamas. She has nothing to be nervous or embarrassed about, yet here she was stuttering and fidgeting like a schoolgirl talking to her crush.

“Ah yes, we’re quite alright! You’re free to get your rest if you’d like. I can take over for the night.” Medic told her.

For some reason, Hunter was oddly disappointed by his reply. “Oh, are you sure? You’ve done a lot today. I can stay and take over if you want.”

“No, no it’s alright. I can manage. You should get your rest.” Medic reassured her.

Hunter looked at the floor in nervousness and in slight disappointment. She didn’t want to just leave the poor guy by himself with all these babies. She would’ve offered to stay with him, but she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. After all, they were only coworkers, not partners. “Ah, right. Well, erm, goodnight, Medic.” Hunter said before heading towards the door.

“What are you doing, dummkopf!? She wants to stay with you! Invite her back before she leaves! This is your last chance!” Medic scolded himself as he watched Hunter near the exit of the rec room.

“Uh, Hunter!” Medic called out, causing Hunter to pop her head out of the doorway. “If you’d like, I wouldn’t mind you staying with me for the night. If you’d like to help, I mean. I only figured you’d be more comfortable in your sleeping quarters.”

Hunter stared at the doctor for a moment as if to process what he had just said. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Hunter asked, just to make sure he wasn’t doing this out of pity or guilt.

“No, no it’s quite alright! I insist!” Medic reassured her.

Hunter smiled and gave a quick nod. “I’ll be right back then.” And with that, Hunter was off.

Moments later, Hunter returned with a few pillows and blankets in her arms as she settled in next to Medic. She would’ve settled down on their other sofa they used to have, but thanks to Pyro, that got destroyed, so now there’s only one sofa in the rec room.

“I brought you a pillow and blanket as well. I wasn’t sure if you needed them or not, so I figured I should just bring extra just in case.” Hunter explained as she placed Medic’s pillow and blanket by him.

Medic smiled at the sweet gesture. “Danke, I appreciate that very much.”

Hunter then noticed that he was still holding baby Scout in his arms who was fast asleep and sucking his thumb. She smiled at the sleepy little infant.

Medic looked down at the little baby in his arms and smiled as well. “It seems Scout likes to be held more than the other babies. He wouldn’t settle down until I held him.” He acknowledged.

Hunter softly chuckled as she gently brushed the back of her finger against Scout’s soft little cheek. “Well, he did say he was the youngest of 8. I assume his mother held him a lot while she did the housework and whatnot.”

Medic hummed in agreement. “You may be right. He’s certainly the neediest of the bunch.” He speculated as he got up from the sofa and proceeded to put Scout into his bassinet for the night.

Medic then went back to the couch and settled in with the pillow and blanket that Hunter had given him.

“You seem to be very good with children. Did you have any siblings?” Hunter asked as she too settled onto the couch with her pillow and blanket.

“Oh, no. I was an only child. However, I did get a lot of experience working with children in the pediatric ward while working on my medical license. I enjoyed visiting the nursery the most. Holding the newborns was almost therapeutic.” Medic explained as he reminisced about his days in the pediatric ward.

Hunter smiled as Medic talked about his past. She’d honestly pay big bucks to see Medic taking care of the newborns and interacting with the little children. Of course, she’d never tell him that in fear of coming off as some kind of weirdo.

“What about yourself?” Medic asked her, breaking Hunter from her thoughts of a younger Medic holding babies like the natural father he is now.

“What?” Hunter replied as she looked at him.

“You seem to be very good with the babies. Did you have younger siblings?” Medic asked.

Hunter shook her head and smiled. “Oh no, I was the youngest of 2. Even my cousins were older than me. I was basically the baby if my family. I did become a part time nanny back in high school during the summer breaks.” Hunter explained.

“I see. Well, you certainly have a way with children. They seem to like you very much.” Medic replied with a smile before yawning.

Hunter giggled and blushed at his kind words. “Thank you! So do you. I think you’ll make a wonderful father one day.” Hunter told him before yawning just as he did. “I think we better get some sleep before one of them wakes up. Goodnight, Medic.”

Hunter then cuddled herself into her blanket and pillow and went off to sleep, however, Medic sat there for a moment, thinking as he watched Hunter drift off to sleep.

She really thought he’d make a wonderful father? Him? The mad doctor of the badlands? The man who implants mutant animal hearts into his coworkers for fun and enjoys slaughtering men on the battlefield with a bone saw?

Medic had never even considered becoming a father before now. Of course, one day he’d love to pass on his knowledge and brilliant scientific findings to a successor one day and hopefully they’d follow in his footsteps of becoming a mad scientist/doctor just as everyone else in his family was. He’d also love to watch his child learn and grow and spend time with not only himself but with his partner (or partners of that were to become the case) as well. Yes, Medic would very much like to become father one day.

Medic smiled and turned off the lamp beside him before settling down to sleep.

“Gute Nacht, Hunter.”

XXXXX

Hunter slowly opened her eyes as the morning sun came shining through the thin curtains of the rec room. She yawned and stretched as her eyes began to focus on her surroundings.

The babies were still in their bassinets, some still sleeping peacefully while others entertained themselves by playing with their mobiles or teething on their little feet.

Hunter looked over beside her and saw that Medic was no longer in the room. His clothes gone and pillow and blanket folded, sitting neatly beside her. Then, as if on cue, Medic walked in and noticed Hunter was finally awake.

“Ah! Gut morning, Hunter! I hope you slept well. However, I’m sure you did since you were mostly sleeping on me.” Medic greeted with a chuckle and a friendly smile.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I-I didn’t know! I usually do that with my pillows when I sleep! I hope I didn’t disturb you!” Hunter nervously stuttered.

“No, not at all. I didn’t mind.” Medic replied nonchalantly as he picked up baby Sniper who was starting to get fussy.

“Oh…heh…well, that’s good.” Hunter said, not knowing how to feel about his reply.

“However, the reason I was awake so early was because of the technicians. I spoke with them this morning and I believe the respawn system should be repaired by lunch time this afternoon.” Medic explained as he rocked little Sniper.

“Oh...oh! Good! That’s wonderful!” Hunter happily exclaimed, after breaking her thoughts away from Medic’s last reply about her cuddling from last night.

So, with that information set, the two mercenaries set out to continue their day as “normal” until it was time to finally test out the respawn again.

XXXXX

It wasn’t long before lunch time hit. The babies had spent most of the morning crying, pooping, and spitting up, so Medic and Hunter were sorta glad this was almost over.

Most of the babies were already fussy and hungry for lunch as Medic and Hunter brought them into the respawn area.

“Alright, let’s hope this works.” Hunter, who was wearing her full uniform with the mask and hood on, said before she and Medic left the room to see if the others would return to normal (also it wouldn’t be very good if they got turned into babies as well if the respawn happened to backfire again).

The technicians went ahead and started the respawn and after about a minute of silence, Medic and Hunter heard something.

“Ugh, my freakin’ head!”

Hunter and Medic looked at each other with happiness and excitement before rushing into the respawn area to find their teammates back to normal once more.

“It worked! You’re all adults again! Wunderbar!” Medic exclaimed and he clasped his gloved hands together.

“What do you mean ‘we’re all adults again’?” Spy asked suspiciously as he pulled out his cigarette case to grab a cigarette.

“Oh, you were all turned into babies after a malfunction with the respawn system during testing, so Hunter and I cared for you until the technicians could fix the problem.” Medic causally explained as if this sort of problem happens every day.

“Hold on a minute there, doc. You said we were all turned in to babies after the respawn testing? How the hell did that happen?” Engineer asked as he adjusted his hard hat.

“Oh, it’s quite simple, mein freund! You see-“ Medic started to explain the technicalities and whatnot of what exactly happened to the respawn system (mainly to Engineer) as the others basically tuned him out.

“So, none of you- ahem! So, none of you even remember being a baby?” Hunter asked the rest of the group, almost forgetting to disguise her voice now that everyone was back to normal. They all shook their heads.

“Nope, last I remember I was in the respawn and then the lights started flickerin’. Now we’re here.” Sniper explained with a shrug.

“Hmm, interesting.” Hunter replied.

“So, you lot had to take care of us while we were wee bairns, eh? I’m sure that went off jolly well.” Demoman said to Hunter with a smirk.

“Mmm, you all weren’t that bad. However, it is a lot easier if you have someone to help you. Taking care of all of you lot at once was pretty stressful.” Hunter explained as she crossed her arms.

“Hmm, Heavy is hungry. Will get sanvich.” Heavy grumbled as he walked away with some of the others to go get lunch.

“Wait a minute, you and Medic took care of us this whole time?” Scout asked Hunter. She nodded and smiled in response.

“Oh my god, does that mean you guys changed my diaper…and bathed me!? You guys saw me all naked and shit!? Oh god, that is so weird! It’s like you hopped into one of my baby pictures!” Scout exclaimed.

“Yes, well, I’m sure changing your diapers and bathing you was the least of their problems. It’s getting you to go to sleep that is the real challenge.” Spy explained as he took a puff from his cigarette.

“Yeah, whatever. My ma said I was the perfect baby! Better than all my brothers! In fact-“ Scout bragged before pausing from realization.

“Wait…you were a baby too. How would you know?” Scout asked him.

Spy did his best to hide his embarrassment and surprise as he looked at the expensive watch on his wrist. “Ah, I do believe it is time for our lunch. I think I’ll make myself something to eat then. Goodbye.” He stated before heading out of the respawn area.

“Hey! No! Spy! Answer the damn question!” Scout shouted as he chased after the frenchman.

“Well, I’m glad to see everything’s back to normal.” Hunter thought to herself as she watched Scout run after Spy.

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.

This topic...

Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:

I got nothing. Lol.

Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!

Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.

Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.

Lmho.

I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.

I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?

Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.

Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.

You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.

Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.

But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.

Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...

- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.

I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.

I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.

It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.

I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.

Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.

Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.

That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.

A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.

Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'

JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.

We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]

Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.

And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.

Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.

And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.

Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.

I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.

Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.

I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.

The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.

JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.

I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.

And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.

Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.

And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.

So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?

I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?

I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....

The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.

With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.

With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.

We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.

Would I ever move on from that incident? No.

Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.

I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.

I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok

What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY

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just-random-obsessions · 5 years

Text

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

#dr badass jane foster #anti ragnarok #anti thor ragnarok #my meta #thor the dark world #thor 2 #thor #loki

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