#lol thank you for commissioning me again fam i love your prompts

[pftones3482]

I Think I Love You

Commission for @kriss-the-writing-nerd

Have all my commissions this week ended in wedding scenes? Yes. Do I care? No. Am I a sap at heart? Debatable. Under a cut for length. Enjoy!

~~

“I got you a present.”

Keith blinked rapidly, moving his tired eyes away from the paperwork he was going over and looking up at Lance. He was shifting from foot to foot in Keith’s doorway, holding a box in his hands so delicately that, were it not Lance, Keith might have thought it was a bomb. 

He was wearing pajamas, sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. The marks on his cheeks were glowing very faintly. In the light it might not have been noticeable, but it was late, so they were sparkling. It was a precious sight, one that made Keith’s heart flutter, but he forced his attention back to Lance and set down his reports from his mother.

“Why?”

Lance frowned, his hands dropping a little. “Well it…you and Hunk were off-world for your birthdays. I already gave Hunk his present, so I…I mean, it’s not really anything amazing, I made it, I just thought-”

“You didn’t have to do anything for that,” Keith said, soft. His lips parted and he glanced down at the box. His cheeks warmed a little. Obviously it wasn’t something special; he’d gotten Hunk a gift too, it wasn’t a Keith exclusive thing, but it didn’t stop the affection from rising in Keith’s chest nonetheless.

Lance stepped inside fully now, walking over to Keith’s bed and sitting gingerly on the edge like he was afraid Keith might kick him out. “Yes I did,” he snorted, pressing the box into Keith’s hands unceremoniously. “Like I said, it’s…nit’s nothing special. But I thought you might like it.”

Curious now, Keith untied the (red) ribbon from the package and set it on top of the reports. The flaps opened easily enough, and inside, nestled in (black) tissue paper, was a mason jar full of bright red jam. A piece of twine was wrapped around it, and dangling from the twine was a tiny wooden knife that was shaped suspiciously like Keith’s blade.

He pulled the jar out carefully, eyeing the label – strawberry rhubarb – and then fingering the knife, about the size of a butter knife. “You…made this?”

Lance’s cheeks were pink, his marks a little brighter. “Um…yeah? We make a lot of stuff o-on the farm, and I’m pretty good at jam, so I-”

“No, no,” Keith breathed. He looked up, eyes wide. “I mean, yes, that’s amazing, I haven’t had strawberries in forever and I’m sure the jam is…is amazing. I meant the knife.”

Lance’s tongue peeked out quickly as he licked his lips, so fast Keith barely caught it. It made his heart hammer. “Um…yeah. I uh…it’s something I picked up in my spare time. After everything. Woodworking is…relaxing. You can use it too, it’s meant to spread the jam.”

“It looks like mine.”

Lance’s smile was crooked, the glint in his eyes mischievous. “I know. Krolia helped me perfect it.”

Keith’s eyebrows shot up. “She was in on it? Dammit, Mom.”

Lance laughed and stood, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands and nodding at the door. “I should uh…I should let you get back to your reports,” he said, eyes flickering to the paperwork on the bed. “Night, Keith.”

Keith realized with a start that Lance was already stepping out the door. “Lance!” he piped, a little too loud. If he hadn’t had any remaining dignity, he might have slapped his hand over his mouth. Lance turned back, eyebrows lifted, and Keith sheepishly held up the jar. “Thank you.”

He poured as much sincerity as he could into the words and Lance’s shoulders drooped a little – whether in relief or disappointment, Keith wasn’t sure. “Of course.”

Lance shut the door softly as he walked out, leaving Keith with a jar of jam and a pounding heart.

~~

“Surprise!”

Keith was lucky Lance wasn’t holding a knife. As it was, he whipped around, pinning the taller man to the wall in one swift move, arm pressed firmly against his throat and his other hand shoved against his cheek.

Dead silence, and then, slowly, Matt turned the living room light on. Keith held up his hands in slow surrender and Lance immediately dropped his stance, face shifting from pissed to surprised to sheepish. “Sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Keith settled his hand on his throat, trying not to wince at the ache Lance had left. “Yeah, well…our fault.”

Lance finally turned around, his eyes widening and hands flying up to cover his mouth as he finally spotted the rest of the group, holding presents and cake. A “Congratulations!” banner dangled precariously from where Matt and Shiro had hung it over the dining room entrance. “What the quiznak?” he whispered.

Curtis’ smile was boyish, eyes twinkling as he slapped a manila envelope into Lance’s hands. “Lance Sanchez, you have been officially accepted to the Garrison as the new flight instructor for middle and high school students.”

Lance closed his hands around the folder in a daze, staring down at the envelope, at his name, and then back up at Shiro and Curtis. “I…I put in the application last week. Please don’t tell me you guys fast tracked it, I-”

Shiro set his hand firmly on Lance’s shoulder. “Of course not, Lance. But you’re an incredible pilot, you’ve flown in battle more than anyone outside of this room, and you’re great with kids. It was a no brainer. Iverson agreed.”

Curtis’ lips twitched. “He seemed peeved that he agreed.”

The group burst into laughter but Lance just stared down at the envelope, his lips parted in soft wonder. “Wow. Wow, I…wait, how long have you guys been planning this?” he demanded.

Pidge shrugged, finally setting down the cake Hunk had made her hold. “Just this afternoon. Shiro texted the rest of us after lunch, and Keith had pretty much all of this ready by the time we got here.”

Lance turned slowly to Keith, who was smiling sheepishly. “Weren’t you off world this week?”

Keith waved his hand in a so-so motion. “For a while. I was just on Mars, though, so I wasn’t far. Plus you leave your spare key in the same place all the time. It’s not hard to get in.”

“Yeah you really need a security upgrade,” Krolia agreed.

Lance looked back down at the envelope and Keith studied him, watched the way his fingers shook, how his throat bobbed. His teeth bit into his lip, smile starting to form, and then his whole body shuddered with a laugh. “Wow,” he croaked. “Um…um, when do I start?”

Shiro tilted his head in acknowledgement. “This fall, with the incoming class. It’ll give me and Iverson time to go over teaching regimens and planning with you before your first students. But hey, you’re basically famous. They’ll listen to you,” the man said, winking.

“Now come on, you guys,” Coran whined. “I’ve been smelling this quiznaking cake of Hunk’s all day, I would LIKE to eat it!”

Hunk whooped, scooped up the cake Pidge had abandoned, and led the group to the kitchen. Lance caught Keith’s sleeve as he passed, pulling him back. “You did all this…for me?” Lance whispered, searching Keith’s face carefully.

Keith forced himself not to react beyond a soft smile. Lance’s fingers burned through the fabric of his shirt. “Of course. You deserved it, you idiot. You put in so much work, and I – we all know how much you wanted this.”

Lance’s eyes flickered to where Shiro was handing Hunk a knife. “I feel like…I feel like I didn’t earn it,” he said, even softer.

Keith turned to block his vision of the others. Emotions be damned, he reached out and grabbed Lance’s hand by the fingers. He squeezed. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you,” he murmured, waiting until Lance looked at him again before speaking. “You helped save the planet, you lost people really close to you, you-”

“That happened to you guys, too,” Lance protested. He slid his hand away from Keith’s and pulled it to his chest, curling his free one over it. “I wasn’t the only one.”

Keith tilted his head. “Yeah,” he admitted. “It did happen to us. But we all have what we want.”

He laughed, glancing back at the dining room, where Pidge was now arguing with Hunk about whatever piece of cake she was getting. “Pidge got her family back and is working intergalactically with some of the smartest beings we’ve ever met. Hunk is a galaxies wide famous chef and diplomat. Shiro and Curtis are married and travelling the world helping at risk LGBT kids and also teaching in their spare time. Coran got his home planet back and is happy with Iverson – as totally weird as I find that. You absolutely deserve this.”

“What about you?”

Keith started, looking back at Lance in surprise. He was staring at him curiously, shaggy hair hanging in his eyes. “What?”

He shrugged. “What about you? You named everyone else. What about you? Did you get what you wanted?”

His eyes swam with the depths of the oceans, glinted with the reaches of the stars. His skin was warm, this close, and being this near him, being here, ached. Ached beyond words. Keith felt his mouth go dry and his heart race. He looked back to the dining room. Shiro and Krolia were speaking now, soft, watching him worriedly. He gave them a tentative smile before turning back. “I uh…yeah. Yeah. I got my mom. I have Shiro. I…”

He trailed off, fumbling for the words. Refused to let the wrong ones slip from his lips. He couldn’t. He couldn’t lose him. “I have you guys,” he finally settled on, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I got…a family I never had. Friends I never had. I work with an amazing group of aliens. I…yeah.”

His stomach rolled as Lance’s head tilted in a miniscule way. “Friends, hmm?” he said.

And he was smiling, but there was something there, something Keith couldn’t place even while he nodded. “Yeah. You guys are pretty okay, most of the time,” he tried to tease.

Lance’s lips whitened as he pressed them together, nodding. “Okay,” he hummed. “Thanks, Keith.”

He brushed past him, and Keith was left feeling like he’d messed everything up.

~~

“You okay?”

Keith looked up as Pidge sat down next to him, her hands fidgeting with a piece of tech that Keith was sure he couldn’t even begin to understand. He hummed and looked back out over the Altean juniberry fields, watching as Hunk and Lance chased Lance’s niece and nephew through the flowers. It was their first visit to Altea, Christmas 4 years after the war, and they had asked Keith to join them on their trip.

He’d declined, preferring to watch from a distance. Being around Lance…hurt, sometimes. Especially on Altea. Especially on the holidays.

“You got it bad, huh?”

Keith choked on air, looking sideways at Pidge through the fringe of hair in his eyes. Her smile was sympathetic but her eyes glimmered with mirth. “What?” he managed.

Pidge shrugged, setting her tech aside and crossing her legs under her. Her green sweater looked ridiculously comfortable. “Come on, I’m ace, not blind,” she said with a roll of her eyes. A pause, and then she tapped her glasses frames. “Though I guess you could argue that point. You’re crushing so hard on Lance it’s kind of disgusting.”

Keith’s gut rolled and he looked down, fingers tightening on each other. He hadn’t told anyone but Shiro about his crush, though he knew that Krolia had seen some of the flashbacks of him crushing on the space whale. She’d never brought it up, and Shiro had stopped asking unless Keith spoke first. It was somewhat uncomfortable, hearing it from someone else. Like he was creepy and just…just wrong.

“Hey.”

He swallowed and let his gaze flicker back to Pidge, who was watching him with open concern. She scooted closer, bumping their knees and leaning on him. He sighed and edged his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his body and pressing a soft kiss to her head. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

Keith’s heart lurched in his chest as he watched Lance tackle Nadia and hold her down, tickling her sides until she shrieked. His smile was wide. “Yeah.”

His breathing stuttered and Pidge lifted her hand, twining their fingers together. “So talk. To him.”

Keith shook his head once, his cheek scratching against Pidge’s scruffy hair. “I don’t…I don’t want to ruin what we have. I’d rather…”

He sighed and dropped his forehead against Pidge’s hair. She hummed, the sound vibrating her whole body, and tightened her grip on his hand. “You’d rather keep what you have and hurt yourself than lose him all together. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Pidge nodded and then twisted, climbing into his lap. She was much bigger now than she had been during Voltron times, but she still fit comfortably against Keith’s chest, lanky arms curling around his torso and nose tucked against his neck. “Talk to him,” she said again, softer. “I promise you it’ll be okay.”

Keith hugged her back, feeling like his entire heart was going to be ripped from his chest. “You can’t possibly know that,” he said, still tracking Lance and Hunk’s escapades through the flower fields.

“I can. I’m a genius, remember?”

At Keith’s scoff, she pulled back from their hug, looking up at Keith with a smile. “Hey. Man, I’m like, the least sappy person I know aside from maybe you. But you’ve been so gooey the last couple months it’s driving me nuts. He totally likes you, you’re blind not to see it.”

She tapped her glasses again. “And I’m blind. I’d know.”

Keith snorted and shifted his legs until Pidge’s back was against his chest, his arms settled loosely over her hips and his chin on her head. She fiddled with the cuffs of his red Christmas sweater Hunk had gotten him. “I won’t push you,” she said, her voice lost to the wind. “But think about it, okay?”

“You didn’t hang mistletoe up in the house, did you?” he asked, a warning tone in his voice. “I know you were helping Coran decorate.”

“Oh we totally did,” Pidge confirmed, laughter in her words. “But it’s mostly just plastered around Shiro and Curtis’ room. You didn’t answer me.”

Keith fell silent, tightening his grip on her and sighing. “I…I’ll think about it,” he finally agreed.

Pidge leaned back against him, warm and smelling like fire and cinnamon. “Thanks,” Keith mumbled after a moment. “For not…”

“I’d never,” and her voice was the most serious he’d heard it in a long time. “Never. That’s for you. When you’re ready.”

Down in the field, Lance looked up, face lighting up when he saw the two of them cuddling on the hillside. He lifted his hand and waved like a maniac. Pidge snickered and waved back, elbowing Keith until he lifted a tentative hand too. “You’re in love with such a dork, you know that?”

His smile came unbidden. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

~~

Lance found Keith on the roof of the family barn, watching the stars as if he hadn’t spent the last six – or 8, depending on how you looked at it – years flying through them. He climbed the trellis up, getting a glance at his approach, and sank down next to him, wrapping his arms around his knees. For a while they sat in silence, listening the wind coil around them and the crickets chirping in the distance.

“You’re going soon, then?”

Keith had been on planet for the last several weeks, since Easter, and all Lance knew was that he wasn’t staying at the farm forever. Which…part of him kind of wanted him to, even though he knew that Keith was doing important missionary work on other planets.

“Mm-hmm.”

Lance hesitated. When it came to Keith, he was at a loss. Hunk usually needed cuddling and hugs and long talks to work out his problems. Pidge used the rubber duck solution for scientific problems and quiet cuddling for emotional ones. Allura had been a mixture.

But Keith…was a mystery. Lance knew he openly talked about his feelings with Shiro and sometimes Pidge or Krolia, but never him. It stung, in a way. But it didn’t mean he was going to stop trying.

“Are you okay?”

Keith drew his knees closer to his mouth. Lance stayed quiet, knowing that sometimes pestering didn’t help people talk. He kept his eyes off him, too, watching only from his peripheral. Keith opened his mouth once, twice, closed it again and kept it shut. After a long, agonizing few minutes, he finally spoke.

“Do you ever feel…” Keith faltered, fingers physically opening and closing to find the word. “Like you’re not…I don’t know, in the right place?”

Lance tilted his head, leaning it on his knees. “Mentally or physically?”

Keith kept his eyes turned to the sky. “Maybe both?”

“Mm, yeah, sometimes. I think everyone does. Do you…feel that way?” he asked, trying not to pry too deep.

Keith’s lips pursed and Lance found himself tracing the shape of them with his eyes while he waited. “Kind of,” Keith said, licking his lips. “I…I love what I do. I love the people we help. But lately I’ve…”

He trailed off, and with a tug on his heart, Lance realized he was crying. He sat upright, eyes wide and mouth falling a little, but forced himself not to move. “You?”

Keith’s chin quivered. “I feel like…” His voice cracked. “I guess I’m homesick. But I don’t…I don’t even know what to call home. If it exists.”

His whole body shook and it took everything in Lance’s willpower to not scoot over and hug him until he couldn’t breathe. “My mom is…she’s so important to me. And I love her. And I feel at home with her. But it’s not…I lied. To you.”

Lance’s heart skipped. “What?”

“Last year, when you got the job,” Keith whimpered, pressing his hands to his face, and everything be damned, Lance scooted closer. “I told you…I told you I had what I wanted. I lied. I don’t know what I want, I just know that I want-”

He cut himself off, wary, eyed Lance like he was afraid he would laugh. His cheeks were red, Lance assumed from crying. “I want more,” he croaked out, voice wavering.

Lance let himself move in, wrapped Keith in the tightest hug he could muster. “That’s okay,” he whispered, carding his fingers through his hair as Keith clung to him. He swallowed, shutting his eyes. “You don’t have to know. It’s okay.”

“Please don’t leave,” Keith pleaded, his grip tight on Lance’s shoulders. “Please.”

Lance’s heart lurched and if he could have physically held Keith closer, he would have. “I won’t. Quiznak, of course I won’t, dude. You’re- you always have a home here. I promise.”

Holding Keith, listening to his shaking sobs and watching him break into pieces, Lance realized with a clarity he hadn’t had in a long time that at some point during the last five years, he’d fallen head over heels for the original red paladin.

~~

“I think I love you. I think…I think I love you. I love you. I think-”

“Lance! Come on, ten minutes until the march!”

Lance huffed and pressed his hands against the wall on either side of the mirror. His reflection stared back at him, slicked back hair, dark blue tie and black suit, a shockingly pretty orange rose pinned to his lapel. “Yup. Yup, I’m coming Hunk.”

The door opened behind him and Lance met Hunk’s eye in the mirror. Matching suit, though with a yellow tie, hair pulled back into a ponytail. He eyed him, frowning. “You okay dude?”

Lance rubbed a hand over his jaw, pushing away from the wall. “I don’t know. I want…I don’t know.”

Hunk shut the door behind him slowly, leaning against it and studying Lance. “It’s not the wedding, is it?”

Lance shook his head. “No, but you’re right, we have to get out there for the march. I can deal with it later. This isn’t the place.”

“For what?”

Hunk moved aside as Lance grabbed the doorknob. He didn’t turn it though, just held it. Pondering. “I want to tell him,” he said quietly.

Hunk was silent for a second. “Oh. Oh my god, dude, yes!”

“But I don’t…I don’t know how. And I shouldn’t…I really shouldn’t do it here. Not at a wedding, I mean, that seems super selfish, right, that’s selfish? That’s totally selfish, I couldn’t do that to Coran, I-”

“Bro,” Hunk chuckled, gripping his shoulders gently. “No, it’s not. I mean, okay maybe if you do it during the ceremony or make a big deal out of it, but you’re not gonna do that. It’ll be fine. I’ll be here the whole time, so will Pidge, and Shiro, everyone. You got this.”

Shay popped her head in the room, lifting an eyebrow. “If you two are done, you are two of the main four stars of this show, and we would LOVE for you to be out there.”

“Sarcastic much, babe?”

“It seems to be the easiest way to get humans to actually do things.”

“Touché.”

~~

Lance wasn’t sure how Alteans did weddings, but Coran’s vows were LONG as HELL. And then Iverson’s were just as long, and weirdly sappy (the man had grown on Lance a lot since his original Garrison days, but he was still a scary dude when he needed to be, so this was just a whole change of pace). The reception afterwards was lovely. Lance ate, avoided Keith, danced some more, drank way too much, and towards the end of the night downed his last glass of wine and stumbled outside.

“You’re not driving, are you?”

He turned to find Keith sitting there, red tie loose around his neck and jacket crumpled next to him. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, which Lance found unfairly hot. “Because I can drive you home, if you need.”

Lance shook his head, stumbling and sitting next to Keith with minimal falling. “No. No, I’m not…no driving. I’m not…I’m not stupid. I mean I am but like…not like that.”

Keith’s lips twitched in amusement. The air around them was cold, and it was helping to dull the alcohol in Lance’s system, easing the slight throbbing in his head. “You okay?” he asked. He was warm as hell.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Keith assured him. “A lot of people. I was getting overstimulated.”

Lance frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. “I can go.”

“No,” Keith said, quick. He flushed at Lance’s curious gaze and shrugged, glancing away. “You’re fine. It’s not bad when it’s someone I…I mean…”

“I think I love you.”

Lance’s eyebrows furrowed as Keith whipped his head around, mouth gaping like a fish, until his words caught up with his brain. He clapped a hand over his mouth, swallowing. “S-Sorry, sorry, shit, that’s not-”

“Lance.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, hand still on his face. The world felt like it was spinning around him, suffocating him. He couldn’t breathe. Keith’s voice was gentle when he spoke. “Lance, are you just that drunk? Or-?”

The second time was easier. “I love you,” Lance breathed, letting his hands fall into his lap and his eyes open. He stared at the pavement, his mouth dry. “I wanted to tell you…for a while. But I…it was never the right time.”

A pause. “How long?” Keith asked, soft.

Lance licked his lips. “Thinking back on it? Since I almost got sucked out into space through the air lock. That’s…I mean, that’s when it started. It didn’t really hit me until a couple months ago.”

Silence. Lance shut his eyes again. “I’m sorry, I made it weird, I-”

“You didn’t make anything weird, Lance,” Keith whispered, and his voice was closer now. Lance cracked an eye open to see Keith facing him, a knee dragged up under him on the bench. His hands settled on Lance’s leg. “You have…no idea how long I’ve loved you.”

A breath that Lance didn’t know he’d been holding shuddered out of him and he surged forwards, hand sliding up Keith’s jaw and tangling in his hair, dragging his lips against his and trying to remember how to breathe through his nose as they kissed.

Keith’s fingers closed around Lance’s tie, tugging him closer, until he was practically sitting in Keith’s lap on the tiny bench. He gasped into his mouth, pulling back, and Lance blinked twice, dragging a thumb over Keith’s skin to swipe at a tear. “What’s wrong?” he whispered, anxiety settling in his gut.

Keith huffed a laugh, letting his forehead fall to Lance’s shoulder, hands moving to cradle him in a hug. “I’ve just wanted this for so long. It doesn’t feel like…like it’s real.”

Lance reached back and tangled their fingers together, pulling Keith’s right hand up to his chest and settling it over his pounding heart. “It’s real. I promise you, I’m real. This is real.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Keith’s forehead. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Keith snorted. “Me too.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Absolutely.”