#lol it comes up a lot when im playin video games

[cerealmonster15]

was talkin 2 my partner this weekend and i was like “and bc i have adhd tendencies-” and he stops me and says “no you dont just have adhd tendencies. u definitely have adhd.” <- i have never been professionally diagnosed but my partner has and hes told me before that i am like, The Most ADHD Person Hes Ever Met jfldsjfj

[spikeinthepunch]

i am playing Alan Wake 2, after after Alan Wake 1 (well. i gave up on playin bc i was not a fan of the gameplay and just watched a long LP). i think AW2 falls in line with what i see as like.. "cinematic video games that are basically movies". i know a key example of this are games like The Last of Us. These games are story focused, but they also really keep you on one track. Not just in the sense of a linear story, but physically (in game). I find these kinds of games don't often give you a lot to do in terms of branching off location wise unless its for a collectible, so even then its minor. Additionally, these games are basically always realistic in graphic/art style. I think in general theres been a huge rise on realistic looking games now that tech gets better, but it pretty much dominates this kind of game.

but what is on my mind as i play AW2 and this 'type' of game... well, im all for a story focused game. but these games i feel lack more and more significant gameplay where i kinda wonder if im "playing "playing" it at all. There are a few things considered "gameplay" in this game im sure but I will be real 90% of it wouldnt call that at all. Gameplay? Explore and fight enemies and solve some pretty simple puzzles (many of which can be considered side content anyways). What isn't actually gameplay to me? reading letters, looking at pictures, and sticking them on a wall in your mind palace. Looking at a scene and Alan saying its a new plot point he needs to write, so you open the window and click it so it happens. That's... not gameplay, its just a slightly extended way for you to see the story continue. And thats not to say all that is bad-- its simply a device to tell the story and its kinda neat i guess. But this isn't what I see as significant gameplay. You could entirely leave those actions out and it would be fine, but it would admittedly make the game feel more empty in terms of stuff to 'do' (which may be a bad sign lol)

the topic of "game that feels like a movie" is complicated. because you cant claim theyre bad because of the lack of gameplay (but its a critism to make if it doesnt help the game) because obviously.... we got the genre of... walking sims. and well, people have a lot to say about them in terms of gameplay too. i have played a number of walking sims that i love but i also guess the "point" of them is walking, you know that going in? but it doesnt make a point against the games i am talking about. because little unique gameplay doesnt mean you will have a bad game.

i like games focused on stories, i love them. and its certainly my attraction to games like AW2. i have played games that feel like im watching a real good movie and i absolutely love it when i come out on the other side feeling like i took part in that "movie". but i think where i feel detached in some of them is where you the player, get further disconnected from the main character(s). And I think this honestly happens more when you dont have gameplay that really lets you interact with it as a video game enough. less and less gameplay present and undirected interaction with the world, more and more scripted paths and forced direction. walking sims dont tend to feel similar to games like TLOU or AW2 not because they dont have combat, but because walking sims are usually presented entirely differently despite what could be said about lack of/simple gameplay-- you the player know youre walking around, and typically youre doing so to explore which already leads you to a game with open opportunities as a player, you dont know what coming in your path and thats the sense of discovery I feel like i lack in these other games. the script is written, your path can be forced. if it is too forced, too restricted then it doesnt feel like im getting to play much of a game.

the video game feels like a movie in a way i dont find appealing, when i feel like all i am really doing is moving my character on a path i must take and wait for the moment i need to shoot, then walking on the path again to the next area. to where else to look unless i need ammo. no where else to look unless i care about some random side items. (all of which i dont need at all if i font want them, and dont take me anywhere outside of my intended path) the video games that feel like a movie in a good way are ones that despite being heavily story focused, it allows enough options in gameplay and in world to let me still feel free and up to my own devices even when it does get back on track and put me in some clearly directed scenarios. i want to be excited to be in the video game's world so that i can have balance and be just as excited to continue even when they game puts me on some tracks i need to go through to see the story, before going back to feeling like a video game.

its all up to preference on what genres people like. but the AAA scene is becoming quite saturated with these linear story games with ultra realistic graphics. they look great and they can tell great stories. but sometimes i am not sure i feel like buying a $60 game that maybe... doesn't really make me feel like i am playing a game. admittedly i had expected a bit more from AW2 and its not offering much else for me to do with the gameplay.

[dropoutparty]

ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5

here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:

tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3

ok lets get on with the post

at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.

now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.

after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).

anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.

zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!

the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.

now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.

NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.

its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,

anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.

anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).

moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.

gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).

anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!

now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!

anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!

the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.

as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!

basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.

[wigglytuph]

Blush, Kiss, Cuddle, Heartbeat, Romance, Joy, Happiness, Love, Beloved, Sweet, Cute, Thoughtful, Charmind, Beautiful, Affection, Kind, Heart Beat, Goggle, Laughter, Smild, Warmth, Huggable, Soul Mate, Unique, Trust, Dearest. Aka all of them (that you're comfortable with obv) #literallywastehistime2017

Ok here u go all of em minus the ones i already did. Also isabella said i could do a readmore on movile so if this doesnt work and i look like booboo then blame her

Blush : What do you do when you have a crush on someone?Im so introverted i just try to hang out with them as much as possible and be extra nice to them but dont rly do much else bdjfnfn. I havent even rly had a crush on someone in… forever tho so idk what id rly do


Kiss : What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?Draw my fursona uwu


Cuddle : Which one of your mutuals do you really want to hug right now?Every and all youve all been so sweet and nice and helped me feel less like shit tonight thank u i love u guys


Heartbeat : What fictional character do you love?Top 3: KIRBY!!! BONES FROM ACNL!!!! And SOMBRA!!!! And then i have a Lot of Love in my Heart, so honorable mentions to bowser, darwin(tawog), my fursona, Sailor mercury, the list goes in


Romance : Perfect date?Im a minimalist if we can just soend time together and do anything im happy. I just wanna cuddle and hug and kiss and love them and be close to them u kno. Maybe like…. chillen around the house, playin video games, go out to eat, come home for some light finger play and then just cuddle till we fall asleep u feel me


Happiness : Who are your kin?100% yellow kirby, lowkey kin with shiny armaldo, thats all i can think of atm


Love : Are you, or have you been, in love before?Sadly i have been ndjdjfnnfg


Sweet: Favorite love song?Cant sleep love- pentatonix, the only exception- paramore, and uhhhh does fly me to the moon count?


Cute : What’s your aesthetic?Cute shit, pastel colors(predominantly blues and greens), music or general sounds drowned out by rain


Thoughtful : If you could change your name, what would you call yourself?Anna. I like jay tho.


Charming : Who helps motivate you?What motivation lol nobody oops


Beautiful : Who is your ideal significant other?Someone who truly loves me and has as much love to give to me as i have to give to them


Affection : Who do you ship?My dick with my right hand (i dont do ships generally dhfjfnfj)


Heart Beat : You’re getting coffee with a celebrity, who is it?OKAY I LITTERALLY HAD A DREAM THAT LIKE. IT LASTED ALL OF FOUR SECONDS. I WAS IN A COFFEE SHOP. Then LADY FUCKING GAGA COMES UP TO ME. LOOKS ME OVER. POINTS TO ME. AND SAYS “you should wear your hair up today.” AND THEN I IMMEDIATELY WOKE UP. And you know DAMN WELL I WORE MY HAIR UP THAT DAY.

So i guess lady gaga, but id love to meet zendaya one day


Giggle : Do you believe in love at first sight?Yea


Laughter : Who can always make you laugh?My friends!! Also jenna marbles jdufkebrhrjf


Smile : What do you find attractive?kindness!!! Compassion!!! Love!!! Patience!!! Also a really nice ass!!!

Warmth : What is your happy place?Idk i dont rly… have…. one…? Windy days and rain makes me feel at peace i guess that applies


Huggable : What are your favorite flowers?I LOVE THE BIRD OF PARADISE!!!!!!! Plumerias are pretty too


Soul Mate : Who is your best friend? @ehnoshima @koalabuddy @frostios my 3 longest lasting friends and the only reason im still alive fhcidnurjfkg


Unique : What qualities do you look for in other people?Same as attractive, i just want someone whos not an asshole who will loce and appreciate me


Trust : Do you trust people easily?Way too easily. Ill trust a total stranger to watch my bag or some shit. Im fucking stupid but like… its who i am


Dearest : What item is most dear to you?This took some time to think of but maybe my little cheapo $3 alarm clock i got in california. Its got three little cats on it and it… looks like me n my friends which was perfect so even tho i just got it i love it a lot.

Thanks for all of these this was a good to do to justkill time while im sitting in this empty parkinglot in my car hfjfnfhfjf. 💛💛💛

[yukiitsunoda]

1-30

1: My name?

lusai!! (it’s just lucy dont @ me blame my mam)

2: Do I have any nicknames?

not rly?? ive always been just lusai tbh if yall wanna give me a cute nickname that would be nice bc i love nicknames

3: Zodiac sign?

scorpio :////// im a nice person i promise

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win?

idk the meaning of gaming to relax if im playin video games im comin in hot and my dennis reynolds rage comes out

5: Book/series I reread?

ive read the danish girl about 6 times lol i rly rly love that story and i also love the movie

6: Aliens or ghosts?

ghosts r the best fight me

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?

bryan lee o’malley tbh

8: Favourite radio station?

i legit hate every radio dj in ireland theyre the worst so i just dont listen to the radio ever

9: Favourite flavour of anything?

blue....... not like blueberry or anythin just blue

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

mad innit

11: Favourite song?

5 bottles of shampoo - the king blues

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better?

how people answer ‘what if your legs didn’t know that they were legs?’ is always a good way to judge people

13: Favourite word?

peachy!!

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?

lmao NOPE fuck him i hope he’s miserable and realizes that he fucked up

15: Last song I listened to?

go home - julien baker

16: TV show I always recommend?

it’s always sunny in philadelphia OR pushing daisies bc who doesn’t love lee pace

17: Pirates or ninjas?

neither they’re both boring gimme dragons

18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down?

ten inch hero bc i love punk jensen ackles and its a real feel good movie!!

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song?

not over you - tessa violet

20: Favourite video games?

kingdom hearts, resident evil 4, crash bandicoot, spyro, overwatch, animal crossing, banjo kazooie

21: What am I most afraid of?

being alone, my bf realizing im not worth his time, heights

22: A good quality of mine?

idk i honestly cannot think of a single good quality i have?? im not rly anything special im just kind of existing and not rly succeeding at being a good person

23: A bad quality of mine?

everything about me tbh i have 0 redeeming qualities im a snarky, sarcastic piece of shit idk how anyone puts up with me??

24: Cats or dogs?

yes

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in?

eddie redmayne tbh i suffered jupiter ascending so that says a lot about how much i love him

26: Favourite season?

summer bc waaarm!!!

27: Am I in a relationship?

honestly yall know i talk about him enough yes i am

28: Something I miss?

my cat :( but i have a tattoo to remember her by so its all good!

29: My best friend?

her name is sophie and shes wonderful

30: Eye colour?

blue lmao

[yeont4n]

Answer all!!

here we fuckn goooooooooo

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be? 

there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

maknae i guess? how about staff

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

get into..... college.....

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

makeup!!!!!!!!!! >

jump: favorite childhood memory?

getting my dog tina!!!!

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!

personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.

i like it pt. 2: dream date? 

yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)? 

prolly 2 or 3 days

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

i can burp on command lmfaoofdj

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol

i need u: are you in love?

wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

no but now i know what i can look forward to haha

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!

move: last time you cried?

cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

no~

save me: your favorite place on earth?

rn??? m y bed

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

august rush lol

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

really......... seven other people:)? guess.

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

does speeding count smh.

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

rolling eyes emoji. pass!

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

my parents!

lie: biggest fear?

real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

get ur fucking bangs cut

mama: are you good at giving advice?

yeah i think so

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lazy daisy

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting! calling if it’s a long story though

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story >

spring day: who do you miss right now?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

math summer work smh

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

window seat!

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

4?

[cerealmonster15]

Yallllllll Im awake far later than I should be but I was havin a blast doin some drawin tooooniiiight which is wild bc I also had just come home from a 2.5 hr drawing class and told myself I didn’t wanna do any studies bc I already drew all class

But then after I got tired of video games I was watching more art YouTubes and my fingers itched to make stuff and it’s just so much more fun lately

Been doin a lot more traditional and working with studies and colors

And I bought a small pack of block studio brush markers bc I wanted to try em- theyre tricky but I love working with bright colors so they’re fun to play with

I think watching so many different traditional art vids on YouTube and seeing different advice and creative medium videos has helped me expand what I try

Plus being in a painting and a drawing class this semester

I’m really getting back into the focus and trying new things and stepping outside of what I’m used to has been so good for me and I’m getting excited?? Which is good bc I was getting nervous that I was just

Dying emotionally there lol

I’m just hoping when I get more comfortable with some of this stuff traditionally I can sorta

Reset and try again with what I’ve been learning for digital art

Maybe find some more creative digital artists bc a lot of the YouTubers I’ve been following and discovering are traditional

Which has been so fun and a good foundation

But digital is my career path!!!! I need to amp it up over the summer before I start grad school SCREAMS

And like,,, I gotta see what the 3D modeling art community is like. I follow a lot on twitter but I haven’t looked too much on YT/Insta,,,

I also really gotta push myself to make like an art insta or sideblog or something ?? Bc I don’t like posting what I do since most of what I do are sloppy practice things but

Maybe this would make me be less shy, and also push me to make more polished and created works

Anyway my head has been throbbing for like an hour and it’s nearly 1am I gotta SLEEP but I was just havin a blast playin with pen sketches and colored pencil sketches and studies and markers and YouTube and YEEHAW Yea

But I need to listen to my pain and sleep