#lol fun fact when i first saw fight club i was like yeah i get this . because of the insomnia stuff.

[kojoty]

fun fact, when you heal from insomnia, you'll actually get SOOO mad at a good night's sleep because you don't get the unbridled joy of waking up at 2 am and 4 am etc etc (more than that) and checking your phone and rolling back over with a smile because you have several more hours before you get to wake up. i went to bed and then woke up at 6:30... what is this bullshit 'healthy' sleep

[irisintheafterglow]

OKAY A FELLOW SWIFTY I SEE

Okay here me out I need to express this with another SWIFTY

ALL THE GIRLS YOU LOVED BEFORE IS SO GOJO X READER CODED!!

Gege confirmed gojo was canon a player right??

He’s all about fuckboy life but THEN then he meets you and is so inlove he becomes so domestic and just <333

I NEEDED TO SHARE THIS WITH ANOTHER SWOFTY FOR YEARS OKAY THANKS BYE

every dead end street led you straight to me

wc: 2.1k

cw/tags: established relationship, first meeting, creepy guy at a club but he doesn't get very far because of unofficial bodyguard™ satoru, mostly just fluff and taylor references, little fun surprise at the very end in case it wasn't tooth-rotting enough

note: hi anon!!! first off, i'm so sorry this took so long to complete; i literally love aotgylb and so i was a little stumped for how to write this because it's just,,,,so him. i love him. i love taylor. i hope you love this lol. enjoy!!!

likes, reblogs, and replies are appreciated!

“I really wish I found you sooner.”

“How so?”

“I wouldn’t have needed all that dumb shit with other girls if I knew you were waiting for me. All the lame fights, feeling alone even when I wake up next to someone. That dumb shit.”

“Who said I wasn’t doing dumb shit too?” You look at him with a sleepy smile, warm despite the biting chill of the early morning air. "You couldn't fathom how many boys I was crying in the bathroom about."

"Do you remember their names?"

"Of course not." While you press against the personal heater that is your boyfriend, the long-awaited sunlight starts to touch the very tips of the mountains before you. “You remember my first boyfriend, don’t you?”

“Mmm, yeah. The one from Kyoto that dropped out ‘cause he couldn’t stand being weaker than his partner,” he recalls. “He’s also the ugliest of your exes; it’s hard to forget him when I almost exorcized him before I met you.” You burst out laughing at the memory and a puff of your breath appears in front of your face. Satoru follows suit, exhaling a long breath and making boyish dragon noises. “See, aren’t I so much better?”

“Yes love, no one can compete with your dragon impressions,” you tease. With a shiver, you wrap your coat tighter around your body. “I won’t lie, though. My ass is freezing.”

“I was just about to say that,” he agrees, shifting uncomfortably on the stone bench. Even with the several layers of thermal long sleeves, jackets, and gloves, the winter weather seemed adamant on giving you frostbite. “Remind me to never suggest a sunrise hike ever again.” 

“But isn’t it romantic? Freezing our asses off and shit-talking our exes?” 

“I would not enjoy this if I was with anyone else,” he concludes. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

“Fine, then go back to that other thing, the one about finding me sooner.” 

“Oh, that?” He pauses for a moment, jutting his lips to the side in deep thought. Spots of gold start to catch on his bright white hair, strikingly similar to the snow crunching under your boots. “I was just thinking how much time I wouldn’t have wasted if I simply found you sooner.”

“What do you mean, ‘found me?’” 

“I was searching for someone, you know, and I didn’t know what I wanted until I met you.” The corner of his mouth quirks as a memory pops into his mind. “Even though you hated me.”

“I did not hate you,” you argue in vain since you did, in fact, hate him when you first met him. In need of a new partner after your boyfriend (the ugly one, Satoru notes) fell ill the night before a mission, you considered feigning sickness yourself when you saw who the higher ups assigned. It was easier, logistically, to slap on the most powerful asset they had on a mission where a sorcerer dropped out, but it didn’t make him any less annoying when he picked you up at the airport. It was before the days of his current blindfold, when he wrapped strips of white linen over his eyes during the times he opted for no sunglasses. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t unnerve you, the way he navigated through the airport crowds as if his vision wasn’t impeded in the slightest. The aura that he emanated was intimidating and one of sheer power, but the goofy smile and melodic voice contradicted any assumptions you made about the strongest being alive. 

“Gojo Satoru?”

“That’s me. I like it when you say my name,” he drawls and you make a quiet gagging noise in your throat. 

“Please don’t ever say that again,” you say, walking in a random direction where you hope the driver is parked. To your embarrassment, you turn around to see him standing in the same spot, a smug grin on his face and a thumb pointing in the opposite direction. “I thought I read the lot was this way,” you mutter in irritation while he falls into step next to you. 

“Oh, it was,” he affirms and you stop mid-stride. The shit-eating expression on his face only grows wider when he senses your increasing annoyance. “But there’s a dango stand over here and you look like you could use a snack.” He was right, of course, but you didn’t admit it until much later in your relationship. The first twelve hours with him were painfully awkward, to say the least. You shoved dango in your mouth to avoid answering any questions about yourself and stared out the dark window of the car while he snuck glances at you in the backseat. After dropping your stuff at the hotel and slipping into nicer clothes, you walk out onto the crowded street to find Satoru waiting in a sleek-looking suit that would have the girls back home fainting on the spot. He opens the door with a flirty remark that you immediately tune out and you recheck the Cursed Tools in your clutch while he slides into the seat beside you. 

“You know your role?” 

“I’m a wealthy businessman gunning for the weapon with the blue handle,” he states confidently.

“Green handle, not blue.”

“What’s the difference?”

“One of them has an eons-old Curse stuffed into its hilt…and the other is blue.” He makes a small noise of amusement in his throat and you feel yourself relax a little bit more. “I’ll camp out at the bar and wait for the owner to make a move. Apparently, he’s the type to bite pretty easily if he sees something good-looking and alone. When he’s distracted, you grab the weapon. Got it?”

“Clear as crystal,” he says, swiping his tongue over his top lip absentmindedly. A serious look washes over his face, something in his head making his eyebrows draw together. “What if the guy starts getting handsy with you?”

“I’ll…handle it,” you reply slowly, slightly confused as to why he cares. “Just get the weapon, Gojo. You can stall or kill time however you want before that, but we don’t have the luxury of being able to make a mess.”

“Easier said than done,” he says quietly, “So, no promises.” 

It turned out that making messes was simply a part of Satoru’s daily routine. Perched on a bar stool and barely nursing a weak drink, you clearly saw what his idea of killing time was. Lean arms stretched over the back of an overstuffed corner booth in a corner of the club, pulling several nice-looking women into his side while they giggled in his lap. He’d swapped the strips of linen for an expensive pair of sunglasses and he peered over the rim at regular intervals to keep an eye on you. It made your heart pang just a little bit, seeing him easily attract girls to him like a magnet in a paper clip factory. There was no doubt that Gojo Satoru was attractive, yet every doubt existed in your mind as to whether you would ever have a chance with him. You didn’t mean to look so mopey and sad at the counter, but it seems to play to your advantage when the owner of the weapon creeps over with a sinister smile on his face. 

“Hello, dear,” he purrs and it takes all of your willpower not to slap him for looking at you like a pretty thing. “Nothing is sadder than a beauty at the bar, all alone.”

“And what were you going to do about it?” You drop the volume of your voice to an enticing volume, looking up at him through your eyelashes. 

“Inject a bit more excitement into your evening,” he replies daringly and the insinuation makes you nauseous. “That man, with the glasses? He broke your heart?” He leans on your shoulder and looks in the direction of your partner, the one who was supposed to be grabbing the weapon while you were busy being ogled by this narcissist. “You need to watch out for men like him, throwing around money and women like they’re of no value. Both have value. You have value.” Great, you groan in your head, he’s gross and a hypocrite, too.

“I wouldn’t say broke it,” you murmur mysteriously. “More like, doesn’t deserve it.”

“You’re feisty,” he observes. “I’m incredibly attracted to it.” Shit. On pure instinct, you feel your Cursed Energy flare up as his hand roams dangerously close to your thigh, sliding down your arm with a clammy palm. Despite not being a sorcerer, you know he feels the energy shift when his eyes dart up to yours not with lust, but suspicion. By some stupid twist of Fate, you’d blown your own cover. The weapon owner’s hand suddenly tightens around your wrist, chaining you to the bar counter. 

“Let go of me,” you order, completely rid of the stupidly airy voice and naive smiles. 

“What did you just–”

“My love, we’re leaving.” Elegant fingers effortlessly pry the man’s hand from your skin and toss them aside like garbage. You find your coat gently draped around your shoulders, and only then does he guide you up and away from the bar, with the weapon owner still gawking in his stool. Somewhere between your Cursed Energy flaring and the man grabbing your wrist, Satoru must have left his posse of gorgeous women to pull you out of your present situation. “Good?”

“Yeah,” you mutter, slightly embarrassed that he had to come in and save you. “Thanks for doing that, even though you had to leave your girlfriends.” 

“Of course. They never mean anything to me, nor do I mean anything to them,” he replies and it sounds genuine, without any sort of mockery or indication that he was holding it above your head. With one arm still wrapped around your shoulders, he calls the valet to retrieve the car and you find that you don’t mind him holding you close. “Nice play with the energy flare-up, by the way. That was really smart.”

“What do you mean?”

“Smoking out the weapon’s energy signature by making it butt against your own?” He shakes his head in disbelief, city lights catching in the lenses of his glasses. “Absolute genius.” 

“I…didn’t mean to do that,” you admit and he peers at you out of the corner of his vision. You didn’t know it yet, but to him, you looked prettier than any of the women he was surrounded by inside the club. “It was an accidental reflex when the guy went for my leg.”

“Want me to kill him?” You chuckle, but it dies away when you see the cold expression on his face, nothing like the playful and warm persona you’d just been speaking to. “Say the word and I’ll blow the place to pieces.”

“We’re not supposed to make a mess, remember?” 

“And I said no promises, remember?” He helps you into the passenger’s seat with a gentlemanly hand, shutting it after you before settling into the driver’s seat. “Either way, I got the weapon. It was in the guy’s pocket, not in the safe like we thought it would be. But, more importantly, you got out of that creep’s vicinity.” 

“I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Anytime, pretty.”

“Don’t call me that,” you say firmly and he looks at you curiously. “What?”

“Why not?”

“I’m not interested in being your arm candy; I’m not that type of person.” He pauses for several long moments, stuck in deep thought.

“I didn’t realize I was the type of person to have arm candy,” he states quietly, like it was an epiphany as he pulled away from the club’s valet curb. 

“Something must be wrong with one of your Six Eyes, then, if you truly believe that,” you chuckle, trying to make the mood a little lighter. Yet, he’s still staring straight ahead with a frown on his face and a draw between his eyebrows. It was unsettling, to say the least. “Hey, I really didn’t mean any offense–”

“Let me try.”

“What?”

“Let me try,” he repeats with absolute determination. The streetlight casts his face in a dangerous shade of red.

“Try…what?” 

“To win you over. Teach you what forever feels like,” he answers and your head feels like it’s been submerged underwater, all noises suddenly becoming muddy and irrelevant. “Show you that I don’t think you’re just eye candy.” 

“What the hell are you playing at, Gojo?”

“I’m just tryin’ to show you that I’m not the playboy you have in your head,” he argues and it makes your cheeks heat. “Let me try. If I fail, I’ll go bald or something. Sorcerer's honor.” You burst out laughing, shaking your head in disbelief but feeling comfortable enough to take him up on the offer. Now, a few years and zero bald heads later, you were freezing your ass off with the man of your dreams on a mountain at six in the morning. 

Somehow, you both felt like you’d won the bet when he pulled out that box from his pocket and got down on one knee. 

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[teddybeartoji]

AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! no you get it dune 2 wasn’t as good as the first one i think sequels rarely live up to the first one!! omg my favorites change alll the time and that includes directors LOL but my current favorite one is satoshi kon!!! he made my all time favorite movie paprika!!! he’s also the director of perfect blue ! im sure you’ve heard of it :3 i sooo so so recommend his movies like millennium actress or paranoia agent or!! of course paprika!! the music in that movie is soooo good! i also really enjoy akira kurosawa’s, tim burton’s, wes anderson’s and of course kubrick’s movies im trying sooooo hard not to fangirl too much i cannot be too much of a nerd LOLOL glasses slipping off my nose doing the um ackshually pose whenever i talk about movies

WHAT ABOUT YOU THOOOOUGH!!! who are your favorite directors

AHHH YOU ARE RIGHT ABT THE SEQUELS NOT MEASURING UP TO THE FIRST ONES but hhhhhhhh i did have pretty big expectations for it too smhhh.. i really did looooove the first one😔😔😔

OMGGGGGGG I HAVE HEARD ABT PERFECT BLUEE!!!!!!!!! i have to admit that i haven't seen it though please don't shoot me.. i'm adding paprika and the others to my watchlist rn too hehehe i'll remember those!!!!!!!!!! and i'll come screaming when i finally happen to watch them too bc we then have to Discuss them>:33333333 ALSO PLSSS NERD OUT WITH MEEEE I LOVE ITTT I WANNA HEAR ALL OF YOUR THOUGHTSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! btw i recently saw wes anderson's isle of dogs at the cinema for the first time and i loved it soo so fucking much i think that actually might be one of my favourites of his now....

out of kubrick's stuff i think i've actually only seen the shining if i'm being honest here,, it's not like i'm not interested in the others i just have a tendency to rewatch a lot of things instead of going for smth new lmao i also love how we both seem to be Film Bros but like.. different types😭😭😭😭 I SAY THAT WITH LOVE BTW

i am a... david fincher film bro lmao fight club is literally my most watched film i love it so so much it's like a comfort film at this point idk don't get me wrong it's not my favourite of his though,, i think my top three would be 1. se7en 2. zodiac 3. the social network!!!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah i just love his works so fucking much they scratch my brain so fucking good..

AND THEN MY OTHER FAVOURITE DIRECTOR IS GUY RITCHIE!!!!!!!! this is such a silly one but i love him okay his sense of humor goes so well with mine,, snatch is one of my favourite films ever it's so good lmao aaaand i do love his later films too i think they're super fucking fun!!!!! the man from uncle has the best fucking score ever and idk i know a lot of ppl didn't like it it is one of my little guilty-not-so-guilty pleasures!!!!!!!!!!

and. continuing on with my film bro streak lmao i do like tarantino quite a lot ngl i absolutely adore inglorious basterds and django and kill bill and reservoir dogs and pulp fiction they're all just so fucking fun too

AAAAAAAAAAAND i also wanna add spielberg just bc i've been thinking abt indiana jones again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIFE-CHANGINGGGGGG i love the indiana jones films so fucking much i've loved them since i was a fucking child but they really are so so good they just don't make films like that anymore.... the lighting the blocking the acting the sweat the clothes the fact that indiana is a fucking loser and not some tough guy aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa idk i could talk abt those films for forever i think..

[hubbytaeil]

hello! i've been into taeil lately, so i was thinking about requesting him with prompts 46, 55, and 93, if possible. thank you in advance! 🌝💛

Taeil + #46 What’s this between us?, #55 Ruin me, #93 Don’t tell your parents

genre: angst, friends to lovers to strangers(?)

word count: 1k7 (this is taeil’s fault I swear)

warnings: smoking, slightly suggestive

a/n: now im s a d lol, this is what happens after bing watching sex and the city

-ˏˋ⋆ ̥  prompts ( send in your requests if you want <3)

This could be a dream, and yet it feels more like a nightmare. When you walked into your go-to bar, like you always do every other Friday, Taeil was the last person on Earth you thought you’d run into. The place is packed and certainly there isn’t enough space for you to run away and hide so you decide to just stand next to the counter with your friends, hoping he doesn’t come up to you.  

“Well, look who it is.” your blood freezes in your veins. You turn around in your heels slowly, preparing yourself for what you should say. “Hi, it’s been a long time.” You had broken up with him years ago and you hadn’t seen him after that. You knew that he was working for some corporate in the city but that was it. You had never run into him, not even once. To be fair, you had pictured how your eventual meeting would’ve turned out many times before, however all your fantasies can’t exceed this exact moment. Talking to him feels unreal, like being teleported back in time, a time before responsibilities, anxieties and fears. “You’ve grown taller, I see.” Taeil looks up at you pointing at your shoes. You hear your friends giggling behind you. “And you haven’t lost your sense of humour.” “That’s my only charm, you know that.” He swings his gin tonic in a circle before taking a sip. “C’mon, we both know that’s not true.” You reply gently tapping your fingers on your glass of Chardonnay. It’s definitely hard to keep eye contact, something is keeping your eyes glued to the counter. Taeil can feel it too, as he adjusts his tie.  

Fifteen years ago

“What do you mean you broke my mother’s favourite vase?!” “Exactly what it means, y/n. Oh God, please don’t tell your parents.” “Well, I’m not taking the blame again! Why the hell did you bring your football inside the house?!” “I’m sorry-” “That’s it, I’m never inviting you to my birthday party ever again.”

Those were the kind of fights you would have; you were only thirteen, life had only just begun.  

The days were filled with stupid notes passed during Math class, making fun of each other at lunchtime, eating ice scream at the park. If anyone could’ve ever been your first love, it would’ve been Taeil. You joined the music club just to spend more time with him, but you never said a word on the matter. You have such a clear memory of sitting through hours of rehearsals just to hear him play the piano. It was just a mere crush, you thought, it would fade away eventually. Yet, even now, every time you hear someone playing the piano you are taken back to that sweaty auditorium, you are taken back to the first time ever you had ever felt anything for someone. You are taken back to him.

“Do you still play?” you ask after letting your friends exchange pleasantries with Taeil, introducing him as an ‘old friend’. Inevitably, when one of the tables was cleared, they asked him to join in along with his friends.  

“Sometimes, not as much as I used to. Do you still sing?” Taeil mocks you and you cover your eyes in embarrassment. “Oh God, no.” Your conversation reaches the ears of everyone at the table. “Y/n, you didn’t tell you could sing!” “It was a school thing, I was awful.” An echo of disapproval invades your ears. “Don’t believe her!” Taeil shouts slapping a hand on the hard wood as if to prove his point. You go on saying how Taeil plays the piano magnificently to shift the centre of attention.  

The night goes on between a few drinking games and ridiculous anecdotes about college. Suddenly you ask Taeil if he’d like to accompany you outside to smoke a cigarette. “Since when do you smoke?” he questions, his tone is not judgmental in any way. “I don’t really smoke...” you begin to answer as you try to light up the cigarette. A gentle wind is blowing so Taeil helps by cupping the lighter, you thank him with a nod. “...only when I drink.” you finish after inhaling. Taeil raises an eyebrow in disbelief before pulling out a pack from his pocket. “I guess that makes two of us.” You start to grin and you find yourself unable to stop. “What it is?” “Nothing.” you respond as your grin transform into a full-on laughter. Taeil glances at you and finally gets on the same track as you and joins you. “Man, we’re old.” he exclaims taking a deep draw. “I guess.” “But you haven’t changed much since I last saw you.” You mean when I dumped you. You shut down the little voice of guilt. “Really? I don’t think so...” “You’re still gorgeous.” all of a sudden, the atmosphere is heavier.  

Ten years ago

“I think I’m love with you, y/n.” Taeil told you after making love for the first time. You stared at him in disbelief, unable to wrap your head around the concept of someone loving you back, more than anything your middle school friend who you had known for so long. Even after confessing to him your feelings, him saying he felt the same, all your friends congratulating you because they knew you two would’ve ended up together, you still couldn't believe you were holding the boy of your dreams right in your arms. But when you’re eighteen it’s hard to accept love, even if we long for it with such ache. For a while, you two had your share of fairy tale. For instance, when he kissed you on the first New Year’s Eve you spent as a couple in a square full of people. The fireworks reflected in his eyes but you ardently affirmed how those were in fact stars.  

So where did you go wrong? Why did what you had grow cold one day? During college you realised something was off. You thought the distance between you and your boyfriend Taeil couldn't jeopardise your relationship. However, as time went by, the physical distance slowly became emotional as well, you two being so invested in your lives.There lied the problem, you were starting to lead different lives. The few times you two could meet it didn’t feel genuine, you were trying to act like the people you once were. But those two were mere ghosts at that point.  

“Taeil, what’s this between us? "During the Christmas break of your senior year, you finally sat down with him to have the so dreaded discussion. It went on for hours, but Taeil wouldn't hear any of that. “No, I don’t believe this.” “Taeil, we’ve changed. Everything’s changed and I don’t know if we can go on like this. I don’t want to ruin your life by chaining you up to me.” “Ruin me, I don’t care.” It was like running in circles. The fight burned out eventually, leaving you two exhausted. You both looked up and you knew. “So, it’s over?” you nodded, unable to come up with an answer. He asked you if he could walk you up to your car one last time and you let him. “You know I’m going to win you back one day, right?” Taeil had tears in his eyes but he managed to smile at you. “We’ll see.”

It’s getting late and the bar is slowly emptying. Your friends begin to take off as well, leaving you and Taeil alone. “Do you want to share a cab, y/n?” “Oh, no thanks. I live just five minutes away.” “Oh.” Taeil hesitates before speaking out again. “If you want, I can walk with you. Only if you want.” “That would be nice.” your answer is sincere, not only because you’re kind of scared of walking alone at night, but because you want to keep talking to Taeil. You want to hear about everything you’ve missed, anything at all.  

You start walking side by side into the night, two pair of hands in your respective pockets. Taeil makes fun of the weird noise your heels make when hitting the sidewalk. “Oh, shut up! You’re just jealous!” “Yeah, you’re right. Do you have an extra pair? I could use the few inches.” It definitely doesn’t feel like chasing ghosts anymore. No, you’re just two childhood friends picking up where you’ve left off.

“Okay, I’m going to pop out the big question.” “Shoot.” “Are you seeing anyone?” you knew it was coming, sooner or later. You run through your possible answers and decide that there’s no point in lying. “Absolutely not.” Taeil assumes a shocked expression. “Why so categorical?” he chuckles. “It’s just... I haven’t had much luck.” You go on, counting down mentally how much time you have before you reach your door. “Good.” Taeil says point-blank. You glare at him not expecting him to call you out like that. “Excuse me?” “That means karma is real.” You both burst out laughing yet again. “What about you, mister Karma? Are you dating anyone?” Taeil stays silence for a bit before looking at you dead in the eye. “Absolutely fucking not.”  

“Well, this is it.” You point at your door with you finger. Now you’re both facing each other in front of the stairs. You’ve reached the endgame, and you’re dying to see how all of this will end. “This was nice, y/n.” “It really was.” another break of silence and you feel your heart giving in. You know you both want to say something, yet it feels impossible to make the first step. “Is it okay if-” Taeil stops mid-sentence which sticks a dagger in your chest. “Yes?” you barely whisper, anticipating whatever he’s going to say. “Is it okay if we see each other again? I mean, not as... but as friends. Is that alright?” Those words bring you a kind of happiness you never thought could be felt again. You take a good look at your old friend. His eyes still sparkle and you thank whoever it is that brought him back to you. “I think we can arrange that.” You don’t what’ll happen next, but it doesn’t scare you. In the air there’s a feeling of expectation which you breath in as you walk up the stairs to your door. “Y/n!” you turn around immediately, Taeil is about to get inside a cab. “Remember what I told you!” and just like that you watch him disappear into the night. This scene somehow looks familiar.

Can it be that It was all so simple then? Or has time re-written every line? If we had the chance to do it all again Tell me, would we? Could we?

[datingdonovan]

I had this in my notes and forgot to send it to you. Ajdbfkfjfjf.

It's so funny with Mattsun and Makki! There's a history for them, back when the Haikyuu fandom was waking up again because season four had started. There was one writer who loved Mattsun so much when nobody else did and her SMAU for him got so popular that everyone started writing for him. lollll. I'm pretty sure that's how the Seijoh Four started instead of just Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Someone just writing for an underrated character they love and then they became popular. I wish I could do that but I don't think that'll happen lol.

But oh no. I think we're hyping each other up with these underrated characters and just adding to our lists. LOL. I feel like I haven't chatted with another writer who likes underrated characters in a long time so it's all coming out again. And your pre-timeskip self-ship with Takeda!!!! That's so funny how it might be competition for your Akaashi one.

(Also, fun fact, Tsukishima was my first fav but I didn't like admitting it back then. LOL. But I knew he would be my favourite right when he was introduced because I knew exactly what type of character he was going to be. 😂)

Btw, how far are you in the manga?

omg that is HILARIOUS I can't believe that but it makes so much sense hahaha!!!! I feel like sometimes the smallest characters or randomest ships have some of the best most dedicated writers. don't know if you or anybody reading is into IT but when that was my big fandom I got hardcore into stozier & loved reading stozier fics bc like. it was so clear that people were so into the dynamic and would like, fight tooth and nail. die for those boys. sometimes their fics were like so much more epically long and thought out than the ones for the main ships and I was just like. im in heaven. I love this characterization. I haven't really read that much ab mattsun & Makki but I sorta feel the same about them like I love the way people come up with great intense emotions & characterizations for them. tbh I used to think seijoh 4 were overhyped in general but when I started reading some & just seeing art I was like. oh these dynamics! oh the intrigue! hahaha

and honestly that is like a dream. to be the one blog consistently talking about an underrated character and then they blow up and youre like im the [insert character here] blog. the only [character] stan. etc. hilarious and wonderful turn of events. and SAME im always like yeah im gonna write a fic for some guy idk which one, but ppl are gonna love it so much and that's gonna be me B) hahahhahaha

yeah omg we need to do some sort of fun challenge or collab where we and whoever else wants to write fics or just share recs for underrated guys. that would actually be such a fun idea like, picking a new guy every week or month or something and just doing a "book club" sort of thing hahaha :) I did a fanfic book club with a friend before and it was always really fun :) <3 also yeah. about Takeda. I saw some more of him in the manga and. started writing a goofy little thing for him last night :) hahahahaha :):):)

hahahaha that's amazing about tsukki. I love that guy so much hahaha :) im on vol 11 of the manga and I gotta say this & number 10 really are making me miss that intensity of high school training and the precision & adrenaline and like, I was reading the part last night with Kageyama talking about how he can feel in his body when he's in good form like, wow. that really hit me. ugh <3 im lucky that I still keep up with most of the activities I did in hs in some form but I feel like I do them more for fun now. sometimes I miss that competitive, tuned in, performing at the top of your game vibe. idk if im making sense but I hope you get what I mean hahaha :)

[petri808]

@thenaluarchive winter wonderland snow activities prompt. How about some sledding in Hawaii 🤗🏂🌨

For college student Lucy Heartfilia, if there was one thing she missed about home, it was the snowy winters. Being in Hawaii for the last 3 years, she enjoyed the beach days, of sun and fun, and all the new friends she’s made, but the autumn and winter months was such a different experience here. For starters, the leaves don’t change color in the Fall! Before she’d come to the University of Hawaii at Hilo, Lucy never realized how much she would miss such a trivial thing.

And that January was colder than the last one according to her roommate Levy McGarden. Honestly, Lucy couldn’t really tell the difference because to her cold was like 20 degrees Fahrenheit not 70. That first year was amusing to her as she walked around in a tank top and the locals in hoodies complaining about the chill in the air. But she had to agree with Levy as they sat in their rented house. That night was a bit chillier than most. Hawaiian winter storms were really just deluges of rain, and based on how much it was pouring outside, that’s exactly what hit that evening.

“Bet there’ll be snow on the mountain by morning,” Levy chirped from her blanket burrito. “Maybe enough to play in too.”

Lucy excitedly popped up from her textbook. “You guys get snow here?!”

“Yeah,” Levy chuckled. “I heard there’s even a skiing club on the island. When there’s a lot of snow people ski and snowboard up there.”

“Darn,” Lucy deflated in her seat, “if I’d have known, I would brought my board.”

“Tell ya what, if it turns out there’s snow I’ll get Gray to take us up in his truck.”

“But I don’t have my board.”

“Don’t worry,” Levy winked. “We’ll show you the island style.”

The storm lasted for two more days, so no one could really see what was going on above the clouds. But according to the observatory’s on top of Mauna Kea, snow was in fact building on the mountaintop. The question became how much? It was finally on the third day, that the sun came back and clouds disappeared, when Lucy got her first glimpse of snow in Hawaii. She could see the mountain clear as day from the third floor of the UCB building on campus.

“Natsu! Natsu!” Lucy ran up to him as he was existing his last class of the day. “Did you see?!” She squealed and pointed towards the mountain. “It’s covered!!” Natsu Dragneel was best friends with the girls other friend Gray Fullbuster. Lucy had met both men in classes at the university her Freshman year and since they were local to the area, they often took the girls to see places around the island.

He laughed with a smile. “Yeah, I saw it.”

“Levy said maybe Gray can take us in his truck?”

“I’ll ask him, probably could go tomorrow morning as long as the road is open.”

“They close the road?”

“Just until they can make sure it’s safe to drive it.”

“Yay!! I can’t wait!”

At 7 am the following morning, Lucy and Levy piled into Gray’s Toyota Tacoma truck along with Natsu and headed up the mountain. The drive would take about an hour to get to the visitor center, where they’ll be required to acclimate for an additional hour before moving onto the summit. When they arrived, Lucy was absolutely in aww, the snow had come all the way down to the center, blanketing the building in white fluff.

They got out of the truck and Lucy played the typical tourist, fawning over the gorgeous view. With a cloudless, light blue sky above them, they could see a great distance down the mountain and it was amazing! The parking lot was already half full of other park goers ready to take advantage of the snowy opportunity.

“Come on,” Natsu prompted Lucy into the center. “They’ve even got souvenirs if you’d like a memento.”

Lucy smiled, a light blush coating her wind swept cheeks. He knew her too well already. “Thanks.”

The hour passed by quickly at the center, with the friends eating a breakfast they’d packed along with purchases like hot chocolate at the center. And yes, Lucy purchased a couple of souvenirs, including a picture frame to commemorate the day. She really wished she had her snowboard, but just being able to hang out with her friends was enough for her. Maybe they could even have a snowball fight!

As they piled back into the truck for the last leg of the journey, Lucy noticed something in the bed of the truck. She laughed. “Boogie boards?! Are you serious?”

“I told you we do it Island style here,” Levy laughed too. “Sometimes we just bring inner tubes. Trust me, it’s just like sledding and fun.”

The last time Lucy had gone sledding she was 7 years old, but of course those sleds were built for snow and the children’s type had something to hang onto. These did not. Well, guess she’ll just have to trust they know what they’re doing. As for the drive, this portion of the road was both a little scary and amazing. It had been cleared but still icy, so everyone crawled along the skinny road, giving Lucy a chance to stare out the window and take pictures.

“Oh, wow theres some trippy rock formations,” she mumbled.

“Huh?” Natsu turned to see what Lucy was talking about. “Oh, yeah, that’s like layers of old lava rock or something.”

“The colors are beautiful.” Some had an oily sheen, brownish-reds and golds in horizontal waves along the rock faces. Yup, Lucy was definitely glad they brought her here.

Gray drove until he found a decent spot to park that was close to the heaviest snow areas, yet away from the majority of crowds. Families with children stayed closer to the scattered observatories or where the snow would not be as difficult for children to maneuver in. Lucy even noted some trucks were simply shoveling snow into their beds. She was told many took the snow back down the mountain for those who couldn’t make it up.

“Stay away from any pink or yellow spots in the snow,” Gray warned.

“Pink?” Lucy asked in confusion. Yellow she figured out but why pink?”

The man shrugged, “sometimes it looks pink up here.”

“Weird,” She laughed but carried on, helping to grab a boogie board. The guys had brought enough for each of them.

They climb up a decent sized hill, trudging through the snow. It wasn’t too deep, and actually it was a bit icier than Lucy was expecting but not too bad yet. She couldn’t lie that she’d hoped for powdery snow, but this was better than nothing. After a quick group selfie, Natsu started explaining how to use the boogie board.

“We hold onto the leash to steer and use our feet as brakes. Since it’s just a short hill, you probably won’t pick up too much speed where you won’t be able to stop yourself.”

“Okay, I think I got it...” Lucy gripped onto the edge of the board as she looked down the hill. Snowboarding never made her nervous, but this did. She wasn’t used to having such a short area to move in, and definitely didn’t wanna think about running out of snow to slide on.

“If you’re nervous, I could go with you till you feel more comfortable,” Natsu suggested.

That brought a new flutter and wave of heat back to her cheeks. The board could fit two people sitting on it, if she was practically on his lap!

“It was just an offer, you don’t have to—.”

“N-No, thank you. That might be a good idea, for at least the first time so you can show me what to do.”

Both Lucy and Natsu hadn’t noticed the silence coming from their friends who stood on the side whispering and snickering through the unfolding scene. Levy had even pulled out her phone ready to record the event. They watched the pair settle the board onto the snow, Natsu digging it in to keep it still a moment as he got on first, then directed Lucy to sit between his legs with her feet on the board for now. He then had her grab the leash where he was holding it, and placed his other arm around her waist for security.

“I got ya,” he whispered near her ear.

She swallowed thickly, his heat was radiating against her body and suddenly the cool air of the mountain had disappeared. “O-Okay.”

“All you gotta do is watch how I use my feet to break at the end and have fun. Ready?”

“R-Ready.”

Natsu used his feet to scoot them initially, then let gravity do the rest. The pair slide down the hill, picking up a decent rate of speed, not too fast, just right. Lucy screamed in elation, this was so much fun! It was only a short distance and Natsu easily dug his feet into the snow to bring them to a stop. Her heart was beating rapidly from the exhilarating ride and she was still giggling after they’d come to a full stop.

“Did you like that?” Natsu chuckled and got off, holding his hand out to help Lucy to her feet.

Lucy looked up and blushed, then took his hand. “Yes, a lot more than I’d expected to.”

Once she stood up the pair pause, breathing slowing, as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Natsu’s hold on Lucy’s hand tightens. Her heart fluttered, spellbound at the handsome smiling face, and rosy cheeks from wind burn. Natsu’s smile always captured her like a siren pulling her in. He brushed a stay lock of hair from her face, causing her to gasp lightly.

“Finally!”

“Just kiss her already!”

With the spell broken, the pair look up the hill to see their friends laughing, and Levy holding up her phone, pointing to it. Lucy giggled, they were totally busted, but a long time in the making. Who would have thought that a snow capped mountain in the middle of a tropical island would break the unrequited stalemate.

Natsu turned Lucy’s face back to him, tipped up her chin, and lowers to within an inch of her lips, “may I?”

“Yes, please...”

Bonus picture of a couple of kids on the mountain with boogie boards I found online. But yes, lol we have snow in Hawaii 🙃

[jeonsweetpea]

for the ask me anything... how did you decide on your bias and do you have a bias wrecker?

Oh my gosh, I have to tell you that I love this question! 😄❤️ Thank you for asking me! And my answer will be lengthy b/c... I'm a rambler! Hahaha.

How I Decided On My Bias

To tell you that, I have to tell you how I started to stan BTS! So I first heard of them through one of my favorite second generation groups U-KISS. BTS were on a show called After School Club in 2014. Didn't think much of them at the time and it wasn't until HYYH, I started loving their music (I NEED U was one of the first songs that truly captured my heart)! But I didn't start stanning them yet (huge regrets lol). However... one look at Officer JK in the Dope MV and I fell in love. I knew he would be my bias even if I hadn't stanned them yet. I call him my first love in BTS. I still do.

I later saw a gif set of JK in this officer outfit fighting a bug and found him oh so cute! And I kept seeing him pop up on my dash every so often (I didn’t even follow any BTS-centered blogs) like a constant reminder of, “Hey, remember me? You thought I was cute so please don’t forget me!” Hahaha.

Then I stumbled upon this particular post that made my heart hurt for him. 🥺 He was someone I barely knew, yet I was so angry reading this post... it was about how K-Fans were making fun of JK’s acne during 2016(?) I think after he performed singing live for something idk. He was still young, so why did it matter if he had acne problems when his voice was so good? And he did a spectacular job? I wanted to protect him. I wanted to let him know he was loved. 

Now, to get into when I finally started to stan BTS. During my second year of uni, I was in this club that celebrated Asian culture. And I was on the dance team. We did a lot of BTS dances and there were a lot of BTS stans. I always felt out of the loop with these friends at the time b/c I didn’t know much about them. 😂 But then they asked me, “Who is your bias?” And I said proudly, “Jungkook! For sure, even if I don’t stan them quite yet.” And they go, “Ew... why?” And proceeded to say mean things about him... things I found unfair and not true. So it kinda motivated me to get into them b/c I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to learn more about him, so I can show them he was a wonderful person! Hahaha. I wanted to protect him... defend him... as silly as it sounds. 🤧💕 It was my mission. 

So then DNA came out in 2017 and I decided to watch it a week after it came out during one of my breaks. I fell in love instantly. I knew I was hooked. Then I heard the whole Love Yourself: Her album and Jin’s voice in “Best of Me” (one of my fave songs) did it for me. I loved it all, I wanted to know everything about them! 

It solidified the fact JK really was my first love in BTS and still is. Hehe. And I did manage to convince several ppl to change their opinion on JK. So I’m proud of myself even though I no longer speak to them. 

~ ~ ~ 

How I Chose My Bias (Wrecker?)

Do you remember those “Who is your bias?” quizzes? Yeah, I took many of them for fun before I got into BTS. And I kept getting Jimin, so I decided okay, he’s my bias wrecker. Hahaha! Of course, I found out more about him later on and decided it made sense for him to stay as my wrecker. 

BUT THEN! LO AND BEHOLD! I SAW THIS ONE GIF OF TAEHYUNG AND LOST IT.

He RUINED me and you bet I watched this performance religiously! I found out more about Tae and noticed we had a LOT in common. He was my bias wrecker for a long time. But then we made eye contact at a concert so... I had to double bias! 😘

So I guess to answer your question, Jimin is back to being my wrecker. Phew! That was an adventure.  What a trip through memory lane. If you read all this, I love you! Thank you so much. 

[kenmasgameboy]

15, 38, 54 or 88 for Kuroo? Maybe fluff to angst??

hi bb!! i hope you like it!!! i really liked this idea. i kinda went off the rails a bit and made it v deep lol i was like “I can do this in blurb form” and then went a lot longer HAHA. hope you like it!!!!!!

15. "Kitten, don’t make me tell you twice.”

38. “I wanna go home.”

54. "The moment I held you… something changed in me.”

88. “Doesn’t it bother you that everyone thinks we’re a couple?”

┏━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┓

You are the infamous Nekoma VBC manager. It had been a long time since there had been a manager before you, but you were happy about it. You’ve always loved volleyball and the guys on the team were really fun, well everyone except Kuroo Tetsuro, the captain.

He was everything you wanted in a partner. His sly cleverness, his dry humor, he’s smart, and the most attractive person you’d ever seen just to make it harder on you. You guys were quick to be comfortable around each other, even in your first year together he was always your favorite person to make quippy conversations with. You never failed to make each other laugh. Your friendship never became a problem until your ex-boyfriend ended your relationship due to your dedication to the volleyball team, accusing you of your closeness to Kuroo as to why.

This happened more frequently than you’d like to admit, everyone thought the two of you were dating. It only became worse as third years, the captain and manager of the volleyball club dating seemed almost as appealing as if he were to date the captain of the girl's team. The thought made your gut twist in an envious spiral. He wasn’t yours, you had come to terms with that recently. 

But after you realized that, you realized you thought that because you actually liked him. And now you couldn’t stand to be around him in the slightest. The thought of how he held you after every breakup, after every letdown, after every bad test score, he was always there. And it was the same thing back, always. He could always call you. When he became the captain he made it very clear he trusted your opinion on everything, you’d go with him and Kai to every meeting, be trusted to do the recruitment, be included in the team bondings.

It wasn’t until a few months ago you realized you looked for him in every school assembly, you watched him and took the most game notes for him, you saw things that reminded you of him forcing your cellphone to take a picture and send it to him. And when he was around all you could do was admire him. Even if he was off flirting with someone else. He flirted with other classmates, it bothered you only when people would tell on him to you as if you were his girlfriend. You weren’t.

You huffed a large sigh, taking all the sweat-filled towels in your heavy hamper basket to take to the laundry machine. The only way to fix this was to try and distance yourself. Practice just ended, after everyone was done cleaning up, Tetsuro will ask to walk you home. And you were planning to say no again. You had to stay in this laundry closet sanctuary as long as you could.

“Oi! Y/N-chan, lets go!” Sure enough, as if on cue from your thoughts he appeared in the doorway.

“I’m going to stop by the convenience store actually, sorry Kuroo I don’t wanna hold you and Kenma up. Just head on without me.” You politely declined. You grabbed your bag and tried to leave without a fight.

“That’s fine. I don’t mind walking you.” He said, leaning against the doorframe. You were looking at him from inside.

“I don’t think Kenma’d like the extra exercise.” You tried.

“He probably wouldn’t, too bad he didn’t come to practice today,” Kuroo smirked, he knew he had you cornered. You had no way out but you also knew that being alone with him would be bad for your heart. 

“I’m pretty sure he was, I thought I talked to him today.” You said, a confused brow arch and you shifted your weight off to one side.

“Manager, you feeling okay recently? You’ve been acting a little–” He started but you didn’t want to hear it from him.

“I’m fine!” You said, flustered and annoyed you tried to scootch past him but he grabbed your hand, his face getting more serious than it was before.

“Hey, talk to me.” He begged you, a face that could only resemble a puppy dog, “I know you’re avoiding me, so what did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything in particular, Kuroo. I just need my space.” You said, curling your face into an embarrassed expression, “We’ll talk another day. Just for today, I wanna go home.”

“Fine, but I’m walking you home.” He declared, still not letting go of your hand and instead he interlocked your fingers. It wasn’t uncommon for you two to be physically affectionate, in fact holding hands wasn’t even off the table, but interlocking your fingers took the act to another level of intimacy you couldn’t handle from someone you knew didn’t like you in the same way.

“What? No, I told you–” You were tired, you couldn’t let him do this. But he just gripped your hand tighter, scared that you were going to disappear any second.

“Kitten, don’t make me tell you twice. I’m making sure you get home safe.” And there was the nickname. He flirted with you nonstop it drove you mad, at first it was funny but now it drove you insane with the way it made you feel. But he flirted with other girls, there was no way it was special in the way you wanted it to be. You let him take you out the door into the night time but only so you could get a cool breeze to cool the heat of embarrassment on your cheeks.

“Stop it.” You said, not walking anymore you released your fingers and stuck them straight out, “You don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not my boyfriend, and even if you were–”

“You’re right.” Kuroo released your hand. You weren’t expecting him to react calmly. You had half a mind to run away, but your feet stayed put. You needed to talk about this with him now.

“Doesn’t it bother you that everyone thinks we’re a couple?” You asked it quietly, under your breath almost as you readjusted your posture. But he heard you, loud and clear. It was a question he really didn’t want to address. 

He had experienced different things than you, boys would come up to him asking if you two were dating because they wanted to take a shot at you. He always had to say no to that question and each time it crumbled a piece of his heart as he had to watch them approach you. But he had no place to stake his claim. He was fine with just being your friend, but he’s not fine with you ignoring him.

“Yeah.” He said, it was solemn and forced. His back was still facing you. He prepared himself to answer his long-awaited question of how long he would be able to not confess his feelings to you.

“Then we’re in agreement. I think that it’s best if we don’t hang out as often anymore. It’ll give us room to breathe and work better and maybe you can date whoever you want now without them worrying about going through me.” You said, biting back the tears you knew you couldn’t let fall. He finally turned back to you at the last condition.

“I don’t want that.” He said, a large weight being released from his shoulders. “If that’s what you want, fine. I’ll do it. But it doesn’t bother me that everyone thinks we’re a couple because it annoys me. It bothers me because I want it to be real.”

“Tetsuro..” You breathed but it felt like everything had been knocked out of you, “But you– I don’t– I thought you liked someone else.” 

“Who else would I actually like? I’ve felt that way since you ran into my arms in our first year after getting a bad chemistry test score that we studied so hard for. It was just– I don’t know. The moment I held you... something changed in me. I should’ve said something sooner, I know that. But you were always dating someone, and if I told you and you didn’t feel the same way I’d never get to hold you again.” He confessed everything to you, every minor detail of his craving for your touch. Kuroo Tetsuro was panicking in front of you, “It’s more than like at this point, I love you and only you Y/N. I can’t let you leave without knowing that. I understand if you still need space–”

“You... idiot.” You can’t leave him like that, after what he said you don’t think anyone could pry you away from him. You let your tears fall, feeling them wet your cheeks and down your chin in happiness. The magnetic force it gave you to run towards him and jump into his arms again. 

Your fingers pulled on his neck and he grabbed your thighs to stabilize you around his waist before traveling up your back. His face was surprised, shocked out of his seriousness before he understood without you saying anything.

“Never stop holding me.” You whispered your beg, rushing your head into the crook of his neck, “I love you.” 

Kuroo smiled, pulling your hair to bring your face to his. He couldn’t waste any more time. He smashed your face into him, the most passionate kiss you’d ever shared with anyone, he was perfect for you. The way you molded together in every form of the phrase. You could feel him pulling you as close to his body as possible, your hands pushing his shoulders and face into yours. 

“Now will you let me walk you home?” He asked when you two had calmed down, foreheads still pressed.

“Yeah, only if I can walk you home after.” 

┗━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━┛

5k celebration prompts!

[benisasoftboi]

Unorganised thoughts on Trails of Cold Steel I:

So I did like it overall, but I have a lot more criticisms of it than I did of the previous games 

Which also means I have way more to say!

Tl;dr - Rean Schwarzer, Estelle Bright you are not

Also, spoiler warning for both this game and the previous ones

So... the pacing in this was weird. Like I loved all the field study segments, they were SO fun, but there’s also the Trista segments between which very boring and felt like filler

I think it’s meant to make the ending feel more important, since you’re defending the school, but it kind of backfired because being forced to run around Thors (which is not a very interestingly designed location, by the way) over and over and over again actually made me kind of resent it. To a point where I low key wanted the ILF to destroy the school. Oops

Like I cared about Liberl and Crossbell because they were interesting, and big, so I never really got tired of them. I got tired of Trista very quickly

Also having everyone in school uniform made their designs less interesting :/

The other places were all super interesting, though! I think if I had to pick a favourite I’d say Bareahard, but they’re all contenders really 

Oh also the other issue with the structure was that everyone had to be mad at someone at all times, and it was almost comical how systematic it was - Rean and Alisa don’t get on, that’s resolved, now let’s focus on how Machias and Jusis don’t get on, that’s resolved, IMMEDIATELY we’ll replace that with Fie and Laura, then the moment that’s resolved it’s Jusis and Milliam...

Like, be a little less formulaic in your character conflict

Anyway, characters!

I do not like the thing where the character’s name appears in front of them before they say it. It was irritating

Elliot: The one I would have been in love with when I was eleven. Elliot is good and sweet and did nothing wrong ever. Holy Song is the most useful craft in the whole goddamn game. He also has easily the best S-Craft in a game where most of the S-Crafts are *decidedly* lackluster, aesthetically speaking. I like Elliot. His friendship with Gaius is also very nice

Jusis: The one I would have been in love with when I was fourteen. So, the moment I saw Jusis, my immediate first thought was ‘oh, this guy is one half of a gay ship’. I had no clue who the other guy was going to be, but I knew there was absolutely no way that Anime Draco Malfoy wasn’t getting shipped with a man. 

And then Machias opened his mouth, and... every franchise, no matter what, has its gay OTP (its homoTP, if you will) - that one, usually M/M, but sometimes F/F, ship that’s practically got a whole side-fandom just for itself. Up until now, I assumed Trails’ was going to be Olivier/Mueller - but while I haven’t checked, because I don’t want spoilers, I will be shocked if these guys aren’t actually it. They have every making - opposites attract, enemies to lovers, they sing together, other characters make jokes about it...

Like, this was deliberate, surely? Surely?

yes i ship it but like, against my will and resentfully and semi-ironically, because I hate myself for instinctively taking the bait >:(

Something something ‘Turbo-Gehenna’ joke

Anyway, I like Jusis. I think he’s a fun character, easily the most interesting of the boys, and I really enjoyed his development. He has a cute smile

I also thought he had the best voice acting in Class VII, so I looked it up and Ben Diskin! I love Ben Diskin! I couldn’t even tell, I had no idea his range was that great, wow!

I did think it was extremely weird that if you invite him to the Stella Garten, he says he wants to date a woman who is ‘like his mother’. Okay, Jusis.

Machias: The one I would have been in love with when I was seventeen. You ever meet someone who’s like... always right, really, but in such an obnoxious way that you wish they weren’t. Machias. He would have been way more interesting if he was just a really politically minded teen who needed to learn tact, rather than yet another member of the Trails Dead Family Member Club (the fact that it was revealed right after Elliot’s Dead Family Member Club story did not help). Still, he really did grow on me in the end. He’s a little dork

Gaius: The one I would be in love with now, if not for the fact that he’s only seventeen and thus a little baby in my eyes. I do love his design the most. Can he say even one line that’s not about the wind, though? I also like that he’s one of very few characters in this franchise to not have a tragic backstory, was very refreshing. 

I can only assume, therefore, that Nord will undergo ethnic cleansing in Cold Steel II

Crow: oh boy Crow hahahahahaha. I don’t know how I feel now. Uhhhh... what did ‘the things I do for love mean’? I am curious

Alisa: I don’t like tsunderes much, and I found her ‘being mad at Rean for something that was absolutely not his fault’ thing very, very stupid and it did not endear me to her at all (also, like, if you had to have that - a better way would have been for him to accidentally injure her, rather than... ugh, look, I am a woman with large breasts - accidents really do happen irl. There’s no point in getting that mad about it. There just isn’t. I have no patience for this kind of plot). It also bothered me how possessive of Rean she got, I swear I picked Towa over her half out of spite. I don’t hate her, though, to be clear - I loved her plot with her mother and that scene in Nord. And her relationship with Ferris! She’s great when she’s not talking about Rean, basically

I don’t buy her as Rean’s love interest, honestly. Rean consistently shows more attraction to Emma, and has more (mandatory/canon) moments with Towa. It only felt one-sided to me 

Laura: I like Laura a lot. I don’t really have anything to say about her, just that she was consistently good, and I appreciated her maturity and self awareness, I love her and Rean being sword bros, she’s just great

Fie: I think Fie was designed to appeal to exactly me personally. Tiny snarky badass girl with a great design? That’s everything I love and aspire to be! Best girl in the game (didn’t date her though because she’s fifteen and I refuse to date anyone who is younger than the protagonist when I play games set in high schools. Feels weird enough dating teens the same age as my character. Also she had 0 romantic chemistry with Rean)

Millium: She’s fine, good voice acting, want to know more about Lammy, no strong feelings

Towa: I wasn’t going to date anyone, but changed my mind because I really liked Towa... and then I looked at her, and saw a tiny girl with long, light brown hair and soft voice, and realised I just want to date myself

I checked, and according to Playstation Trophies, at least, she’s the least picked girl? The only characters picked less than her are the non-Crow boys (Machias is the least popular, which... I feel a little mean for finding hilarious lol)

Emma: I like Emma herself just fine. Don’t get me wrong. But she’s infuriating as a mystery character, because she’s the worst kind of mystery - the kind that relies on the other characters to NEVER AT ANY POINT ASK THE QUESTIONS THAT A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD ASK

Estelle would have asked

Rean has multiple opportunities to ask her to explain herself, and he doesn’t! One time, she straight up ASKS HIM TO ASK, and he doesn’t! That’s not mysterious anymore! That’s just incredibly annoying!

Lloyd would have asked

And no one else asks either! Some of them, fine - I can understand say, Elliot or Gaius or Millium - but Jusis!? Jusis, who has been there for pretty much all of her mysterious vague magic, and has repeatedly shown himself to be willing to be kind of rude, and may not be that interested in other people but certainly isn’t stupid - while they’re in the Schoolhouse Depths, Jusis isn’t going to grab Emma by the shoulders and demand she explain what she knows? He’s just going to go with it as she refuses to elaborate on things? 

Really?

Kevin would have - actually, no, Kevin would have already known because Kevin Knows All, but he would have told everyone else, so same outcome 

Rean: And that brings me to Rean. Rean... is a JRPG Protagonist. He is good, and noble, and he gives Inspiring Speeches, and he can date all the girls (which means we don’t really get any interesting opposite-gender friendships, because oh no, a threat to the harem!), and he is so, so boring. My god

Hey remember how I praised Sky for how great it was to have Estelle be an actual person with flaws and personality? No you don’t, no one’s reading all of these, but yeah - Estelle is just as colourful and full of life as the rest of Sky, while Rean is the least interesting character in Cold Steel no contest

Oh he has a super powered dark side, oh, well, that’s a game changer, never seen that before except in every 2000s shounen anime. Also we never actually learn the Super Rean rules, so that dramatic moment where he’s thinking about transforming to fight Scarlet isn’t actually that dramatic because I had never realised it could kill him until he said so in that moment

Oh except he’s also an awakener and can summon a Persona giant mecha suit! Because he’s the most special boy to be very special? I have never seen that in a JRPG before except in all of them

In Sky, Estelle wasn’t special. Except she was, but it wasn’t because she had super awesome secret awesome powers and all the boys liked her best. It was because she was flawed, but always trying, and because she was incredibly brave and optimistic no matter what, and because she was the kind of person who told a god summoning evil mastermind ‘lol no’ and then beat him with a stick, and because she really, believably loved her friends. She loved them. And they loved her. Not the player she was the avatar of. Estelle herself

Estelle Bright has ruined me for all other JRPG protagonists, is what I’m saying

Oh also Rean has that whole speech about how they can’t cancel the festival to protect people from an unknown threat, that’s not fair to meeeeee, and as someone who has lived through the year 2020 -  go to Gehenna, Rean 

Olivier is back!!! And yeah I’m going to keep calling him that, that’s who I know him as, and also Olivert is a silly name

Even more importantly, Mueller is back!!! And he and Olivier still have the best comedy dynamic in the series, joyous day! THAT is love and peace, baby!

Sara really, really grew on me :) I want to see her interact with Schera so bad

I didn’t really like Sharon up until I worked out OH SHE’S OUROBOROS, because yessssss more of them! Also, yessss, guessed it!

Angie... predatory lesbian stereotype aside, Angie’s super interesting and I want to see more of her yes please

George is like, the most inoffensive character I’ve ever seen, but apparently he has haters? What!?

What is with these games and naming characters/things French words, and then PRONOUNCING THEM WRONG

I do not care that the official pronunciation is ‘Blue Blanc’. I will continue to pronounce it ‘Bleu Blanc’. Because that’s what you guys actually wrote, Christ alive

I have a French GCSE and I will use it for something, goddamnit

I took Jusis on the bike trip and he looked so adorably goofy in the little sidecar. Best moment of the whole damn game for me

I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to have played this game first, as I know a lot of people did. Specifically in regards to Olivier (or Olivert, I guess)

Like... imagine meeting this guy for the first time as a fairly serious leader of an important faction, participating in vital political machinations. Imagine meeting him here and not knowing about the Grand Chardonnay incident. Imagine not knowing about that time he stopped a riot by riding up in a boat and singing. Imagine not knowing he has a rivalry of aesthetics with a terrorist. Imagine not knowing what I was referring to when I said ‘that’s love and peace, baby’ just now

Incomprehensible

Side note, if you had told me, on one of those warm August days when I was first playing Sky FC, that the silly man in the white coat was actually one of the most important characters in the franchise, I would not have believed you for a second 

But on that subject, I was also trying to work out who a first time player would be siding with... like, I’ve played Sky and experienced Zero (currently working way through Azure as well), which means that my immediate reaction to all of Erebonia’s politics was ‘trust whatever Olivier and the bracers say, don’t trust anyone else’. But someone starting with Cold Steel has no reason to have loyalties to those factions, so I’m curious 

Side note, having played the previous games also massively impacted how I viewed the ILF - I’m very confident that I would have just taken them being evil for granted if I’d played this first, but considering they hate Osbourne... and Olivier does not like Osbourne... that kind of made me a lot more suspicious of who I was really meant to side with

I really liked most of the NPCs in this. I especially became weirdly fond of Beryl

However, I do now also have characters I actively dislike, a series first! Gwyn (creepy old man), Neithardt (sexist jerk, kick his arse Beatrix), and Dorothee (...could write a whole essay on the myriad reasons I do not like that particular archetype) get in the bin

Good god, every interaction between Rean, Emma and Dorothee made me want to smack the lot of them with my controller, Dorothee for being an absolute creep, and Rean and Emma for overcorrecting into low key homophobia (seriously Rean, you’re friends with a lesbian, the idea of the existence of gay men should not shock you this much)

Re: Elise... I heard the words ‘non-blood related younger sister’ and my eyes rolled so far back in my head I was afraid they wouldn’t come back down

Took me a while to figure out, but ideal team is Elliot, Jusis, Machias, with Laura and Fie as back-up

I would like to find whoever’s idea it was to make the S-Crafts unlock as the game progresses rather than just be there when you get the character, and shake them until they apologise. Have them evolve with the story, sure, but not having them at all wrecks the battle flow so much. Emma was unusable to me until chapter-goddamn-FIVE

I loved the Annabelle subplot, and the punchline that the person her family wanted to marry her off to was a Lakelord... I actually yelled

The concert was so hyped, and then there weren’t even any real songs (aside from the re-use of the end credit song from Sky, which made me very happy. And Olivier singing along made me laugh out loud)

TOVAL IS TOBY!?!?! 

Man I’m so mad at myself for not reading Carnelia in/after FC (read it in 3rd), but still - what a reveal!

AND WHAT AN ENDING

I mean. At first

They did such a good job building the tension, and then-

The Crow twist, my GOD, when I tell you I freaked the fuck out... I was totally convinced that it was Claire. Or possibly Campanella on stilts. I completely overlooked that there was another major character with a C name, and honestly I’m glad I did because I have not been this shocked by a reveal in a while

And then I stopped taking it seriously when I saw the robots with heelys 

It was all.. we had a very final boss-y final boss, right? Excellent final boss fight, very fun, very satisfying. And then the game just... kept going. I accidentally stayed up until 4 AM because I thought I was at the end and it just didn’t stop

And then it did. Very, very abruptly 

(no seriously I was making some snarky comment about how goofy the flying robot suits look and then the game just ENDED, what)

(also worst *actual* final boss I’ve ever seen. the fact that they managed to make a battle between two giant robots, one of which was controlled by a traitorous former friend, feel like an anticlimax... that was impressive, honestly)

So Cold Steel I is... easily my least favourite Trails game so far. Again, I did like it, but like I say... Rean isn’t Estelle Bright. And that’s pretty much my main problem, in the end

Sorry, Class VII

OH MY GOD they never explained why it’s Class VII and not Class VI! My theory is that it’s either something about the Sept-Terrions, or the Seventh Division, since Olivier’s specifically connected to them. Or maybe both

Well - I’m excited to find out!

[theropoda]

3, 4, 6-8, 11, 13-17, 19-22, 26-30 uwu

WOO LAD THAT’S A LOT THANK U!!! this got long and i wrote an essay or two LOL so im putting it under a readmore!

3: Best game you’ve ever played? WEEEELLLL.......let me preface this with two things: one, i am a FAKE GAMER as in my laptop is not at all made for gaming, it’s piss poor, so a big chunk of games i’m interested in is because i watched a playthrough of them lol. i have a 3ds but only 3 games on it (animal crossing new leaf, tomodachi life, nintedogs & cats). second, i’m very bad at choosing favorites of things.....BUUUUT .....i choooooose, in no particular order, OFF, pigeonetics, elder scrolls oblivion, pathologic classic HD!! i’m more than likely forgetting a few though, so sorry about that

4: Worst game you’ve ever played? as i said above, cannot choose favorites, neither can i choose whatever the opposite of favorites is but...uhh, does lif even count as a game? like lif, the stupid little furry flash game i remember playing on some shady website. it was surprisingly very active with a BUNCH of people there but i kept dying like every 5 seconds....AWFUL

6: A game that’s changed you the most? WELL define Changed.....ummm aha first thing that comes to mind is OFF. it’s one of those things where you never knew you wanted something so fucking bad until you saw it--and it’s like that for me. i NEVER knew i loved that odd, surreal, colorful, “looks playful and simple in some parts but incredibly violent and unnerving in other parts” aesthetic til i played it. like aesthetically i love that game to BITS and something about it just stuck with me til the end of time.

later in life (meaning, past year or so) it changed me because it taught me a lesson about storytelling and creative endeavors. a very useful lesson. which is: things don’t really need to have a meaning. stories, art, music, writing, whatnot, while it CAN be deep and meaningful, while you CAN use it as a way to communicate with the world about all kinds of heartfelt things, it can also be...nothing, really.

once i, as usual, got ridiculously overwhelmingly sad about small things. specifically seeing other people around me come up with all kinds of deep and meaningful characters and stories, sometimes putting them into webcomics or writings of theirs, and they were all so well-thought out and detailed and what i envied most was people put a lot of themselves and their experiences into them, venting and coping through them, whilst also making these larger-than-life grandiose complex stories and worlds and so on and so forth.

it made me look at my own ideas and get mad/frustrated at how shallow they were. but then i remembered OFF and i felt better because Fun Fact, mortis ghost has a now-abandoned dA account and if you go through the comment section on his profile, he answers a lot of fan questions and he mentions several times that the game didn’t really have a “meaning”, it didn’t really have a “deeper story” or moral or anything, really. i’m paraphrasing this but i vividly remember him saying “i wanted to make a game, so i did”.

that made me feel a lot better because it made me realise that sometimes art--especially stories, in my case-- doesn’t NEED to be DEEP or have MEANING...sometimes it can just BE!!!! sometimes it really can just be all about AESTHETICS like who GIVES a shit if there’s a hidden meaning if you take the first letter of all of your characters’ names and put them backwards, sometimes all that matters is if they just VIBE with you y’know....

yume nikki is similar in this regard bc that game doesn’t have any story other than “collect egg” and yet it’s so impactful. that game doesn’t have a story or meaning it just IS........ :) GOD THATS SO LONG IM SORRY ABOUT THAT but yeah. funny violent ghostbusting baseball man is a game that changed me :)

7: A game you’ll never forget? OFF AGAIN LOL,,, it’s just so memorable because of how unique it is. visuals, soundtrack, story, everything is so memorable. unforgettable. oh god you can tell how much i love this damn game can’t you

8: Best soundtrack? yakuza 0, OFF, there is a picture (another game by mortis ghost, again composed by alias conrad coldwood who also composed OFF), pigeonetics (the entire soundtrack of which is here), jojo’s bizarre adventure all star battle and eyes of heaven, silent hill 2 & 3, undertale....probably forgetting more but all of these...earcandy

11: Hardest game you’ve played? i am a shitty gamer so this is Most games i’ve played lol!! but uhh..well you see. hardest game i remember playing as of recent is pathologic classic hd in which it’s...not only hard to understand what any character is saying at any given time lol but also, i don’t think it’s HARD it’s just...you need to focus. you REALLY need to fucking focus and pay attention in this game. so i wouldn’t say its HARD, but i’m only putting this here bc it’s in recent memory.

i say recent memory because the true answer is susceptible to “yeah, but now you’re older, it must not be so hard.” as in if i played it now i think i’d have a way easier time. but when i was around....10-12 years old i had several ps3 video game adaptations of animated movies and i had SUCH a fucking hard time with them. g-force, bolt and up in particular were fucking HARD. like genuinely, the hardest time i had EVER had in my live playing video games is tied to these three fucking games. g-force and bolt ESPECIALLY. one particular level in bolt took both me AND my sister around a year to fucking finish.

again, i was baby, so i bet i’d have a much easier time with them now that i’m 17. but for now, in my experience, bolt and g-force for the ps3 were harder than pathologic classic. i think icepick lodge should take a few notes for them for pathologic 2.

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? STREETS OF KAMUROCHO...i spent the entire day of its release anticipating its launch lol

14: A game you think would be cool if it had voice acting? hmm..most games i like and know about do have voice acting so i dunno....i guess it would’ve been kind of cool if morrowind had like, full proper voice acting. but i can understand why it only voice acted things like greetings and battle insults because GOD that game is SO...complicated...and as a result, the conversations are so lengthy and text-full. playing morrowind is really like a goddamn book! if it was voice acted i’m sure all that information would have to be shortened bc i know no one is going to fucking voice act two whole paragraphs

15: Which two games do you think would make an awesome crossover? pigeonetics and yakuza in which instead of being about the criminal underworld it’s about shady and unethical pigeon clubs, breeding, racing, etc etc...a lot of illegal shit does happen in the world of pigeons especially when it comes to racing; prized racers have been kidnapped and held for ransom before. and then there’s Avian Cucking: The Sport, where people breed the sexiest pigeons (horseman thief pouters), release them outside to seduce other people’s sexy pigeons, and bring them back and keep ‘em, drama ensues. will kiryu ever escape his past as a professional pigeon-napper, and find solace in his new life as a pigeon hobbyist? find out now by playing YACOOZA......

JOKES ASIDES i don’t know i really don’t....umm, pigeonetics and animal crossing somehow?? :O... like, instead of managing your own town it’s managing your own loft!...orrrr, the jojo games (all star battle & eyes of heaven) with yakuza, because i think they’re somewhat similar because they’re both haha Wacky Silly AND serious over the top fighty-fighting.....or maybe a crossover with OFF and discover my body, which, despite being an incredibly short and obscure indie game i still love to bits for what it’s worth. WAIT ANIMAL CROSSING AND MINECRAFT THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD OH MY GOD

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game? i can’t think of any character i like, HATE...with a burning passion.. there are a few i dislike or have a complicated relationship with though.. i’m not interested in the series anymore but ouma from drv3...i’ll admit that he is a bit fun sometimes, especially in the very early beginning he’s a likeable brat but as the game progresses he becomes more irritating than anything and i have an issue with him in regards to writing, despite the fact that i have never been awake in any english class ever lol. it’s too long to put in this already long post but i’ll keep it at that. if you like him, well, good for you for finding joy in something i couldn’t! but he just doesn’t do it for me.

AH I JUST REMEMBERED....MINE......FROM YAKUZA 3....maybe i’d change my mind if i watched a playthrough of y3 again, because i think you always absorb something better on your second watch (tho i honestly Dont have the energy to do that all over again, the yakuza games are too fucking long), but i really hate his writing. spoilers for y3 but, i think mine’s writing, alongside other things in the game, were super messy...and a big part of why i hate him is that not only is he one of those “could’ve had great potential but fell flat” sorta guys but also his love for daigo is seen as some fans as good gay rep and i?????/.............um....WELL let’s just say that, i think people nowadays will see any gay character ever in any circumstance and say it’s good gay rep just based off the fact that A Gay Character exists....he was Not, good gay rep imo....he was not, let alone, Good. .........

17: What game do you never tell people you play? can’t think of any games i wouldn’t tell people i play.. idk exactly what this question’s asking. does it mean what game you don’t tell ppl you play bc you’re embarrassed about it...? i’m not very embarrassed by any of them. the only thing that comes close, i guess, is uhh lioden and wolvden. i’ve only interacted with those communities a LITTLE TINY WEE BIT, yet of what i’ve seen it’s a goddamn dumpster fire and i’d never want to be associated with them lol

19: Which game do you think deserves a revival? i’m well aware it’ll never happen and that it’s more a wet dream than anything but...PT/silent hills..... on a more realistic/”could happen” note, PIGEONETICS!!!! SERIOUSLY, it’s an amazing game about amazing animals and it teaches genetics in a very simplified and efficient way!! genetics is SO hard for me to understand, i fucking hated studying it but this game really helped me understand how it works AND its super engaging and interesting!! HOWEVER, of all the pigeon genes we know of, only a handful were seen in pigeonetics and i’d LOVE a sequel that employs new game mechanics AND new genes!! i wanna learn about bronze and stencil genes! i wanna learn about phenotypes like grizzled and pied!!! genes like sooty and dirty!!! @ UNIVERSITY OF UTAH GENETICS DEPARTMENT PLEASE IM BEGIGNG YOU

20: What was the first video game you ever played? earliest memories of Gaming involves me at my aunt’s house playing two games: super mario brothers and some kind of trapeze game. i don’t remember anything else though

21: How old were you when you first played a video game? i can’t remember but i must’ve been REAL tiny.... 6-9 years, maybe??

22: If you could immerse yourself in any game for one day, which game would it be? What would you do? immerse myself meaning go into their world...? huh....on one hand i’d like to go in the world of yakuza 0 to play in the arcades and do whore related activities but i’d also love to go into the world of animal crossing (and i’m pretty sure i’d be some sort of generic dromaeosaurid in that game!!) and shop, chat with villagers, do chores for them, go fishing, bug hunting, eat delicious fucking food like the apples mangos peaches cherries etc etc.....OH AND FOSSIL HUNTING THAT’S THE BEST PART!! though it would definetly be a little weird, to be a little dinosaur and finding a fossil of a...little dinosaur....i guess the non-sentient species went extinct and the dinosaur i am is some kind of, descendant of a sapient non-avian dinosaur that survived the k-pg extinction event...oh but who cares all i want is a cool little ambulocetus fossil or something. and some cherry pie :)

26: Handheld or console? my old ps3 just went kaput one day years ago so i haven’t used it in years so i can’t compare well... but i’d say handheld, because it lets me like DO stuff more...would love to get a console one day, a ps4 maybe but i’m kinda worried it’ll make me stay in one room all day wasting away my time when there’s other stuff i can do, y’know? but something handheld like my 3ds, on the other hand...i can do stuff with it. i can take it to my room and play it between breaks i take as i clean the room and fold my clothes, i can watch something on the tv and play the game during ad breaks, i can take it outside too if it has charge to last me a while! so....handheld i guess

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry? yakuza 0 and undertale in particular have ALMOST made me fucking bawl with many of its moments....yakuza 0 especially, after that Fucking Ending i had trouble sleeping because oh my fucking god. video game people SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28: Which character’s clothes do you wish you owned the most?

29:  Which is more important, gameplay or story? HMMM....well, if i were to play a game with a shitty story but really good and fun gameplay i’d probably continue playing it for the gameplay. but if i played a game with shitty gameplay but an interesting story, there is a chance i’d play it more for the sake of the story but also i might just quite and see the rest of the story on youtube or something. i’m more likely to go through a boring story for fun gameplay than go through boring gameplay for an interesting story, so i guess gameplay is more important to me....that is, WHEN i actually own and play a game as opposed to when i just watch someone play a game because i don’t own the game but wanna know abt the story lol

30: A game that hasn’t been localized in your country that you think should be localized? i have no idea how video game localization really works....but i assume localizing a game in india would mean something like, removing content according to cultural norm and also somehow translating it into the 22 official languages..? or just two or three language if it’s tied to a particular state, which seems way more doable. i honestly have no idea? i’ve never interacted w the indian gaming community that much to be honest, all i know of it is of the video games i’ve seen sold in some game stores and a few whispers about like solid snake or whoever from my school’s cafeteria....the most popular games here, to my knowledge, are those very streamable games like fortnite and PUBG and your call of duties and whatnot. those generic shooters. and even then, that honestly isn’t the “indian” gaming community bc this country is so FUCKHUGE, it’s just tamil nadu. one state.

soooo, according to what little i know of gaming interests in where i live, i don’t think any of the games i like should be localized here bc i don’t really think there’s an audience for it as far as i can tell :( maybe animal crossing? it’s a fun little games for all ages and i think it has a chance of becoming popular here, so maybe that is worth a shot! but i can’t think of any other game that i like that really has an audience here (other than Me lol)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 247: Todoroki Angst

Previously on BnHA: Ujiko started some kind of procedure on Tomura to make him even more powerful, because that’s what we were all asking for at the end of the last arc, isn’t it? “Horikoshi can you go ahead and make the homicidal nihilist even stronger please and thank you.” Well not to worry, because he’s got our backs! Meanwhile Hawks poked around the villain HQ trying to find out more details about That End Of The World Thing That’s Happening In 4 Months, and came up with squat. But he did successfully pass on his secret message to Endeavor about how “THE CHILDREN ARE OUR ONLY HOPE,” so Endeavor shrugged and was like “fine, HEY CHILDREN, LET’S GO FIGHT CRIME.” Anyways, so I was thinking, do you suppose they all just figured out they’re actually in a shounen manga? Because that would explain a lot.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor gathers the kids together and is all “so tell me about yourselves.” Deku is all “I have two quirks shut up it’s not weird” and says he wants to get better at harnessing his power so that he can use it without it being destructive. Kacchan is all “I’m already strong but I want to become better as a person” and I appreciate how the other characters are able to hold themselves back from exclaiming, “THIS KID’S REDEMPTION ARC... IT’S TOO POWERFUL...!” because I sure the fuck would have if I was there. And then Shouto is all “hey dad, friendly reminder that I’m here because I want to get stronger to reach my own goals, but you’re still a shitty dad and I hate your guts.” Endeavor, to his credit, reacts very appropriately to all three kids (including a resigned “got it” to Shouto, which was in fact the only appropriate response, so props to him for that), and dives right on in to mentoring the shit out of them. He then delivers a challenge -- defeat at least one villain without him beating them to the punch. So that should be fun, and I mean that with complete sincerity. Bring it!

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

oooooh shit we’re starting right on a continuation of the Fuyumi panel from last week. TODOROKI DRAMA ARC INCOMING. THIS IS IT BOYS. THE BIG ONE

omg omg omg

friendly reminder that chapter 242, in which this internship was first announced, came out on September 6. that is six whole weeks that we’ve been waiting for this internship to actually get started for real. I WAS PROMISED CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND UNUSUAL INTERACTIONS AND UNLIKELY BONDS BEING FORMED. and I have been patient, because In Horikoshi We Trust, but is it finally that time now? I just need them to stop hinting at it and finally get to it before I lose my mind okay

so Endeavor is asking Baku and Deku for their character profiles

Deku: “I used to break bones on demand, now I shoot wind from my fists along with the occasional Venom Symbiote”

Bakugou: “I blow shit up and I also have your character development arc, but fast-tracked so that it kicked in before I could fully become a massive prick like you”

meanwhile Shouto just sits there pouting because as we know from the Babysitter’s Club arc (and also from the Sports Festival arc, during which he dragged Deku into a hallway and was all “time to tell you about my tragic past” completely unprompted), he actually has his own character profile on standby ready to go at a moment’s notice, but everyone just keeps it benched all the time. poor Shouto

(ETA: he will not be silenced!!)

so Endeavor is phrasing this in the weirdest way possible, asking them to state “their current ‘assignments’” lol what. at least the second part of this is clearer, with him asking what they want to gain from this internship

okay so Deku says he wants to control his power so that he can “move at max performance.” yes that’s a very good goal for you, World’s Last Hope

lmaoooo

“weren’t you the kid who broke every bone in his arms several times in succession while attempting to KO my youngest child.” way to make an impression Deku

so Deku patiently explains that, yes, but we’re WELL BEYOND the whole bone-breaking stage now and currently at the “trying to master my new SECRET POWER which is still under wraps” stage. get with the times, Endeavor

hahaha here we go. this is so painfully awkward

“yeah so I kind of have a second quirk now. you know. as one does. please ignore how the only other known person to ever have multiple quirks just so happens to be the greatest villain of all time who is currently incarcerated in Tartarus following his last stand during which the number one hero lost all his power. that’s not relevant. anyways so yeah, two quirks, it’s totally normal and not a big deal at all”

what the actual fuck is he going to do once quirks # 3, 4, 5, etc. come along? this is such a disaster it’s not even funny. and by the way, this whole time I’ve been ignoring the elephant in the room that is Katsuki’s face while Deku nearly spills the beans about his so-called secret. but let’s all just acknowledge that it’s amazing and it belongs in a museum

thankfully Endeavor has had more than enough of exercising his brain today after all of that codebreaking, and isn’t even bothering to ask any questions. instead he’s just like, “show me.” probably the right call; easier to just see wth he’s going on about rather than keep listening to this strange and incredibly suspicious explanation

here we go guys time for some BLOOP

that’s because you’re still scared of it! boy if you’re not going to listen to Katsuki then I hope Endeavor can knock some sense into you at least!

you know, Endeav may be scowling so hard his face is gonna get stuck that way, but so far he’s not half bad at this mentoring/coaching thing

really appreciate how he jumps straight into asking pertinent questions about what Deku wants to do with this new quirk, rather than being all “how the fuck do you go from breaking all of your bones to THAT”

so now Deku’s explaining how it works and says he’s been applying the same principles that he uses with Air Force

LMAOOOOO

this right here is the most accurate introduction to Deku that Endeavor could ever have possibly received. THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE CHARACTER

and it also neatly sums up his whole problem with Blackwhip as well, which is just that he’s way overthinking it. no fucking wonder he can’t do anything with it yet! he’s trying to run NASA-level calculations in his head in real time while using it, like wtf. just let loose boi

also can we stop and appreciate how both Bakugou and Shouto are just fucking done. like, Bakugou is one thing, but just look at Todoroki fucking Shouto, Deku’s #1 fan and admirer, being all “wtf I hate Deku now”

LMAO AGAIN

Burnin’ is quickly rising through my favorite character ranks. meanwhile Shouto has gleaned, quite correctly, that those were in fact words coming from Deku’s mouth. what kind of words is a mystery, but at least it’s something

omfg Endeavor can speak Deku

(ETA: one of the things I’m noticing on a reread is how Endeavor is approximately twice the size of the kids. and it’s not like they’re small or anything. but they look like toddlers next to him. he’s only 6′4″ how is he towering over them to this degree.)

I feel like Endeavor’s intelligence levels fluctuate from week to week. or even from panel to panel. enigma

so blah blah blah he’s thinking to himself “his raw power rivals All Might’s” and then -- ! LOOK AT THIS SHIT

SOFT ENDEAVOR ADOPTING DEKU WTAF. holy shit. if anyone says they saw this coming, I’m calling you out as a fucking liar. BUT I’M HERE FOR IT OMG

AND NOW THIS ONE’S TURN!

(ETA: Kacchan is 5′7″. pretty sure Endeavor is actually 8 feet tall.)

lmao Deku’s face. trying to work out what this means and whether it’s good or bad

meanwhile, after the multiple pages of extensive rambling from Deku, Endeavor is about to get an introduction from Bakugou which will likely just consist of “I WANT TO BECOME THE NUMBER ONE” with absolutely no introspection whatsoever. basically the polar opposite of Deku. gotta love it

HERE WE GO

ooh, unexpected! though still brusque. but to be fair, he’s gifted when it comes to saying a lot in few words

(ETA: out of the three, Kacchan definitely took up the least amount of time with his introspection. not bad for a kid who used to think the entire fucking world revolved around him. growth!)

now he’s bitching at Burnin’ for not having anything better to do than stand around heckling them lmao

SHE’S HERE TO PROVIDE COMMENTARY KATSUKI SHHH. in other news, today I learned that Burnin’ is actually me. huh

OH MY GOD KATSUKI IS METAING -- !! [ELBOWS MY WAY INTO THE FRONT ROW] EVERYONE FUCKING SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!!!!

OH MY GOD

y’all Katsuki really just fessed up and admitted to needing to work on his growth as a person rather than his physical ability. along with a NEW ADORABLE CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK, EXCUSE ME WHILE I ORDER PRINTS OF THIS TO PUT IN MY WALLET

AND HERE WE GO NOW, THE WHOLE “I WANT TO SURPASS THE NUMBER ONE” PART. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH DEEPER THAN I EXPECTED, KATSUKI YOU CONTINUE TO MAKE ME PROUD! LOOK HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO BE A BETTER PERSON

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU’RE NOT ROOTING FOR BAKUGOU KATSUKI THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN READING THIS MANGA HONESTLY

OMG ENDEAVOR

“this kid...” REMINDS YOU OF SOMEONE, DOESN’T HE! OH MY GOD I NEED TO SIT AND CALM DOWN AND DRINK SOME WATER

anyway so do you love him. YOU BETTER SAY YES!!

LMAO SHOUTO COULDN’T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER

LET’S HEAR IT THEN, FIVE PEEPEE MAN!!

Endeavor is whipping back around on him all “I THOUGHT YOU CAME HERE TO MASTER YOUR NEW TECHNIQUE” with this look of borderline panic on his face that implies to me that it’s one thing to take on two new kids with no familiar baggage, and quite another to have to deal with his own son’s personal angst which is directly related to his own worst personal shortcomings and sins! but that’s just too bad, Endeavor! also, fuck you!

OH MY GOD TODOROKI SHOUTO HAS THE SOFTEST SADDEST EXPRESSION AND THIS SPEECH IS GOING TO MAKE ME CRY WHAT THE HELL

even Kacchan has gone soft. meanwhile, is somebody cutting onions in here or

(ETA: also, Kacchan really has been promoted to best friend status, hasn’t he? or co-best friend at least. Shouto really does value their time training together, huh. “spending time with these guys.” anyways so this officially is the TodoBakuDeku arc, sorry everyone I don’t make the rules.

also! I really love how Shouto’s character development has been all about him finally figuring out what it is that he wants. one way or the other, Endeavor has been the focus of his life since childhood. everything he did was centered around him, even when it was centered around defying him. it was still always him, and never Shouto. because he’d been raised as his father’s tool, he struggled with feeling like anything he achieved was just giving his father exactly what he wanted. so he never really had the freedom to strive toward his own goals until Deku finally broke him free of that mindset. it wasn’t until he was surrounded by others who shared the same dream he’d once had that he was able to move past the toxic part of that resentment. not to say that it wasn’t justified, because it was! and is, still. but all the same, it was hurting him at least as much as it ever hurt Endeavor, if not much more so. 

so I really like the message his arc sends here, which is that forgiveness is not so much for the benefit of the one who hurt you as it is for yourself. and that’s obviously not the right word for it, by the way -- “forgiveness” -- but it’s just a placeholder for lack of a better one. because obviously as we can see, he hasn’t forgiven him, but what he has done is put that part of his past behind him. for his own sake, for his own peace, which he deserves. anyways guys Shouto is so fucking strong and I love him so damn much. shit.)

“y’all didn’t think I was gonna put the Terrible Trio together with Endeavor and not follow through on it with piles and piles of Todoroki angst,” Horikoshi says, casually filing his nails with one eyebrow raised. “c’mon”

here it comes y’all

ain’t no force on this earth more dramatic than a Todoroki. did he somehow get a wind blowing in from somewhere. aren’t they indoors

loool Endeavor getting DRAGGED LIKE AN UNTIED SHOELACE in front of these kids he just met two seconds ago, oof. “don’t forget dad, just because I’ve mellowed out a bit and accepted that I need to learn how to use my fire side doesn’t mean I don’t still hate your guts because BOY DO I.” oh damn

so your kid is justifiably pissed at you for your decade and a half of abuse, not to mention annoyed that you’re just putting it all behind you now and acting like it never happened. but it’s not like it’d make things any better if he just went back to acting like a jerk with these new kids! so here we all are, with no easy answers for this situation. what’s a 45-year-old man trying to make up for his past sins to do

(ETA: boy I just took a stroll around the ol’ fandom and a lot of people have really strong feelings about this huh. the most common sentiment seems to be “YAASSSS SHOUTO”, which I can 100% get behind. but it seems like a lot of people are also angry that Shouto is in this situation to begin with. specifically, we have the usual faction of people who are upset that Endeavor is getting any kind of redemption arc at all, and would prefer if he remained eminently hatable and shunned and detested for the rest of his days.

and look, I get it. humans are hardwired to want things to be fair. we want karma. kindness should beget kindness, and cruelty should net you the same treatment in return. reap what you sow. and while some crimes occasionally fall into a grey area, it hardly gets more black and white than Endeavor’s case. not only is there the child and spousal abuse, there’s also the incredibly dubious consent issues that arise in the case of an arranged marriage. like, there’s really no question that what he’s done is bad. so to see behavior like that “rewarded” by his becoming the number one hero, and to see people actually admiring him, and to watch him taking steps to turn his life around even as his wife and children struggle to gather the shattered pieces of their own lives -- yeah, that’s gonna trigger something in a lot of people. because it’s not fair. he hurt good people who didn’t deserve it, and all of this makes it seem like he’s getting away with it.

but here’s the thing -- there are different types of penance. there’s punishment, but there is also atonement. and Endeavor is getting his just desserts in some ways -- by being forever denied the chance to reach the goal that he worked his whole life toward, and by finally developing a conscience, the better to fully experience the remorse of knowing the pain he brought about to his family. but what’s arguably more important than that is that he also has the opportunity to try and atone for some of the terrible things he’s done, by doing good in the world now. he is a hero. his job is to help people. every day he is making the world a little better by doing that. and that, to me, is such a fascinating idea: a terrible person doing good things. and it’s something that feels almost counterintuitive, and that’s part of why a lot of people have so much trouble accepting it, I think. but it’s a fact of life, isn’t it? if good people can do bad things, then it stands to reason that the reverse is true as well. 

and I’ll just come right out and say it -- for me, if it comes down to a choice of having someone be punished, or having them be forced to do good things to atone, I’m gonna go with the latter just about every time. because while it may not feel quite as viscerally satisfying, it’s the option that produces the greatest net benefit for the world. without Endeavor, the world would have one less person out there battling evil. and as I suspect we’re going to continue to see in this arc, there are other, subtler ways that he can still do good as well.

so yeah. it’s a tricky thing. but to be honest, the ability to explore this type of complexity is one of the things I respect the most about Horikoshi’s storytelling. he’s not taking the easy way out here. he’s not giving us easy answers one way or the other. no matter what kind of resolution we get to this character arc, it’s not going to be something that will satisfy everyone. but that’s just how it is. anyways, apologies for the rant.)

hmmm Endeavor

yeah you really read that one wrong. anyway I guess it’s your turn to make a speech now

...

classic Endeavor

(ETA: actually truth be told, that was quite eloquent, and pretty much the only thing he could have said in response to all that. it’s not like he can even begin to justify all of his actions, and pretty much anything else that came out of his mouth would have come off like an attempt to dismiss his son’s feelings, or him trying to weasel out of taking responsibility. there is pretty much nothing else he can say here except for “I understand. that’s valid, and I fucked up.” which this is pretty much acknowledging. anyways this whole chapter is basically the sequel/continuation to 192 and I’m loving it omg.)

so he says he’ll watch over the three of them as a hero, and lead them in hero stuff

oh, I wasn’t going to post this panel, but now Endeavor’s saying “those are the three fundamental skills sought after from a hero” so I guess I should, huh

ooh he says that generally heroes will choose to specialize in either rescue or battle, but his policy is to kick ass at all three. well that’s one similarity between him and All Might, at least. if you’re not here to both win and rescue then what are you even doing with your life am I right

damn there really is a reason why this guy is the number one huh

okay, like. not to knock like 99% of the other heroes out there, but is anyone else sitting there thinking “wow, finally someone competent” or is it just me. like, I really do get a sense of “he’s got it all under control” from him which is lacking with pretty much all of the other heroes. no wonder society is on the verge of being in shambles. what we really need is for all heroes to be this capable, and not just All Might or Endeavor or whoever happens to be the current number one

okay, Endeavor is really out here being a genuinely good mentor, I’m speechless

holy shit

-- WHAT, NO! ARE WE ALREADY DONE?? WHY

okay but I do love that, though. it’s a perfect goal for them. difficult, but not impossible at the rate they’re growing. and it also just so happens to be something that they need to be able to do if they really are going to be the shoulders that society is resting all of its hopes upon. and last but not least, it’s something that all three of them will be able to set their minds too gladly. kick this old man’s ass, kids

anyways. ladies and gentlepeople this chapter was only thirteen pages. shortest chapter we’ve had in a minute. but at least it was densely packed! even if Shouto took up like half of it with his Daddy Issues Speech. that’s okay Shouto we always welcome your daddy angst

all in all I am satisfied. character development, and finally a clear goal for the arc. though part of me would also love it if they manage to achieve this in like the very next chapter. you never know with these wunderkinds lol

[lala-pipo]

(1/13) Ahh, yeah I just went over to the shower scene again, the scenes before and after it, and maybe because I was really immersed in Taem’s perspective at looking at things – I quite literally took it as is, like Jong had mood swings, not sure why and that’s it? But there IS something fragile in Jong, he acted oddly, and you are right that Taem does feel helpless and stuck in his own thoughts… it’s kinda hard to see the scenes unfold without Taem’s opinion on it right hahaha

(2) but that makes it really interesting for me, since I just literally follow Taem’s train of thoughts every time, until you pointed it out to me! Kinda feel bad about for not noticing it though ^^;; but yeah, for sure as an audience, we are just “pls come on you guys!! :(“ But, from chapter 10 we get to know Jong’s thoughts and feelings ououou sooo excited since so far we see Taem’s world and yeah!! I think maybe we would be able to see why Jong acted the way he did in the prev. chapters :3

Cricket nony!!! ❤️

How are you doing???

I mean it will still be Taemin’s POV from chapter 10 on (I don’t like it when people switch POV in the middle of a story Stephanie Meyer style :’D) but Jonghyun will be more expressive and talk more – so I guess this will be helpful to the reader to grasp his view on things. 

(3) Right! He did get blinded by his own feelings, because maybe he doesn’t realize, well he does realize that it mirrors Jong-Key relationship to an extent, but not the whole of it? Like how he said to Jong, Key made Jong feel bad and upset so therefore he should just leave Key, and told him to stop pining for Key, but then eyy he can’t stop pining for Jong lol but then maybe he sees it as a slightly ~different~ situation hahaha

Let’s say Taemin is blindsided by love and acts and behaves in odd ways lmao, he will continue to do so in chapter 9. ^^”

(4) OMG CHAPTER 8!! YOU DID! YOU WENT IN like a warrior indeed omg… I cried cried cried… I re-read that outside club scene like so many times… because it just makes me so sad and *sniff* you did cut all the strings without any mercy uhuhuhuhuh I am looking forward on how the story will continue omg Taem going back to the hometown?? Where will the story go?? Drought onto chapter 9? Will Taem skip a semester on University and be back for Autumn instead?? T__T

(5) Right in front of your own salad lol YEAHH I saw the JongTae oneshots, I haven’t read them yet, I think I will read them when chapter 9 gets too much (honestly, mentally preparing myself for what is to come) T__T Hahaha but I think slice of life genre has some angst and fights sometimes too right, since it supposed to reflect real life right right, so it’s still generally a chill read, as in we even get to know Taem’s thoughts as he reads the bible, and also on dystopian-what-ifs scenarios l

Awww ... don’t cry :(

No, Taemin won’t skip a semester – that would be – too dramatic? Someone wasting their life away for half a year because of someone who doesn’t reciprocate their feelings? Don’t know about that. That seems a tad unlikely to me. ^^” But maybe that’s just me because I’m such a cold-hearted human being. :’)

(6) LOL yeah that is true you do know ~ the truth~ lol but perhaps you telling us that Taem is an unreliable narrator might help us? Lol might help us to doubt everything but literally will not help us to actually see the things, the scenes, the people, the relationships as is? honestly that is one of the big mysteries – everyone gets along so well with Key! And, for sure I’m taking everything with a grain of salt but still can’t help but feel sad for Taem :( obviously, since we are in his head

I mean if you come to think of it, Taemin got along well with Kibum as well in the beginning until he started developing feelings for Jonghyun and realized – or thought that Kibum is the one intervening with the happiness he could experience with Jonghyun.^^ I mean Kibum doesn’t do much, he just lives the typical life of a university student and enjoys himself - we can’t blame him for doing that. 

(7) Right right as Taem is an unreliable narrator, I can’t tell lol but either way you are right, with or without intentions, humans are humans and we don’t know anything. Knowing that if Minho DID have intentions only add spice in the story but not really change the fact that he might be giving out bad advice unintentionally, like maybe he could have ulterior motives in general, but not particularly on that advice, does it make sense hahaha ^^;;

(8) Ahhh yeah I think maybe the scene in chapter 8 made it clearer of the emotional frustrations that Taem had with Jong? I think even the fact that you added 25k words alone on this chapter I think signifies that Taem was going through his head a lot, muddling his thoughts and frustrations with Jong? To kinda show that maybe not THAT much time has passed by, but surely in Taem’s head it feels like forever – with some many thoughts and feelings going around :(

I think why it does feel like a long time, although it’s just one semester – is the fact that they share a living space – and see each other constantly. That’s a completely different premise in contrast to people meeting out in the wild and meeting up for a cup of coffee now and then, or something the like. So the time Taemin spent with Jonghyun most likely felt far more intense to him.

(9) Dramatic Taem even reading the bible hahaha I really enjoy the biblical references though, most of the time they are funny references on how he compares something trivial to a bible thing xD Oh! And also!! Happy belated birthday! Is it December 3rd? Is that your birthday? Since it was a very specific date in the story that it got me wondering… hmmm could it possibly? I hope you were able to spend it with the people you love, and I wish you health and happiness for the years to come! <3

This is correct. ^^ December 3rd is my birthday and December 3rd was also the date I got to see Jonghyun live for the first time – so it has a double meaning. ^^ Thank you, you’re too kind. I had pizza on that day, so I had a lovely time…haha

(10) Big brain energy for the mythological aspect of Song of Sirens lol but but you know did I mention, ah probably I didn’t since I only do snort comments on Dorm Life lol but interestingly, I thought that Song of Siren would actually refer to a story of Jong having such a beautiful voice – as in he is the Siren and he be singing in the myth, but as it turned ouuut it is not the case lol

(11) That is why!! In the beginning especially I was really excited to know how the story might unfold to reveal that Jong is the siren, but then! (at least for me) it took an unexpected turn hahahah I already created a possible plot for the story before even reading the story lol so it was really fresh mint plot for mee :3

Ah – that’s interesting that you thought Jonghyun would be another siren. :o Jonghyun was supposed to be Selene first – but I thought that was 1) too obvious and 2) the story of the sirens and Persephone actually exists like that and wasn’t completely made up, so it was easier to tie the ends together. And I mean Jonghyun as the goddess of spring? That works well in my head as well. ^^

(12) Oh!! And don’t worry! I actually love doing this – making comments, observations, analyzations and actually asking you if they are your intentions or not! It’s like washing dishes and cleaning up my room, therapeutically calming! :3 I’m happy that it makes you happy <3 I am indeed sorry for blasting your inbox though… it must have been a LOT of messages ^^;; thank you for spending your time with my weird questions and observations honestly lol I read all of your AO3 replies, thank you!

I still haven’t managed to get through all of your comments on ao3 – but I hopefully will by the end of the year. Thanks again so much for leaving me so many comments to read <3 I wholeheartedly enjoy reading them. ^^

(13) I am doing much much better now! Thank you for your kind words <3 I really really appreciate the work that you put in Dorm Life! I have so much fun reading it! Like I only re-read it twice but I noticed things that I didn’t before, I’m just!! I am just super happy and I am super thankful for all your hardwork! I hope you have a lovely December too! I hope you can stay healthy as well! Thank you so much hwarang_number san for reading and betaing also! You guys are amazinggg! <3 Thank you!!

@hwarang-number thank you from me too! ^^

I’m glad you enjoyed the story so far. Chapter 9 will be a let-down in terms of entertainment value – it’s more of a filler chapter, but I still enjoyed writing it so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ for me as a writer it doesn’t feel like a filler, but I know it will feel like that to the reader. But I wanted chapter 9 to end on a cliffhanger, that’s why I didn’t add anything to it anymore. I hope chapter 10 will be more enjoyable in that regard again. ^^

Please take good care of yourself, cricket nony. I hope you will have a pleasant rest of December! *sends you all the best wishes*

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Take it out on me Part 8

A/N: Hey you guys it’s me again twice in one day lol I’ve been so sick and not up to much so here’s another part! If I can’t get to sleep there might be a third update but who knows. For now enjoy two parts and you’ll get one for sure tomorrow too. Tried something a little different for this one but hope you guys still like it, a little look into the thoughts of our main character. The story is starting to go to the place I originally thought of so I’m really excited about that!

Anyways enjoy!

“So how are things? You haven’t called in an extra appointment for yourself in a while.” me therapist said closing the door to her office. I took a seat on the comfy chair across from hers.

“Yeah I know..just a lot has happened in the past few months and I don’t really know what to do or how to deal with it. I wasn’t comfortable sharing it before but I kind of can’t ignore it anymore.”

“Okay well how about we start from the beginning of this difficult time?” she suggested smiling at me.

“Well it started when Auston started getting more controlling. At first it was just really high and unfair expectations but then he started saying really rude things to me and about me with his friends.”

“What sort of rude things would he tell you?”

“That I was ugly, that I wasn’t good enough for him, that he doesn’t know why he even bothered marrying me in the first place. He’d make fun of me with some of the boys because of how much I want him to be happy and will just go with whatever he says. My body isn’t good. All those kinds of things.”

“So a lot of things that people in your life have said to you before?”

“Yeah I guess so. I never thought about it like that but yes. It’s a lot of stuff I’ve been hearing for a long long time.”

“Do you think that has anything to do with why you’ve fallen back into a pattern of accepting bad thoughts about yourself?”

“It probably has a lot to do with it yeah..” I said quietly thinking about it.

“We’ll come back to that. What else has happened?”

“Auston started getting really mad at me and would yell all the time. Then he started getting violent. Like a few times he would push me to the ground and  smack me around a bit but he always cried and apologized. But then he broke my hand and he never apologized for that.”

“I had a feeling that someone had done that to you. There were inconsistencies in the story you gave. I wish you would have told me sooner so I could have helped you (Y/N).” she said with sincerity in her eyes.

“I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Freddie was the only one who knew but if we’re staying in order I’d like to talk about him later if that’s okay?”

“Of course that’s okay. What else happened?”

“So after he broke me he went on a week long road trip and he didn’t talk to me the entire time but we had a big fight before he left so I wanted to try and make up for it so I made him dinner and cupcakes and I tried my best to look nice for him and we had a really good night. Then I went to see Freddie the next day and Auston called super angry that I wasn’t home to heat up his food when he got there. I went home and he had taken my pills and drank a lot. He said that he wanted to have a baby with me.”

“That’s a very big thing to announce like that.”

“Yeah you’re telling me.” I mumbled crossing my arms.

“How do you feel about that? You’ve been saying for a long time that you want to be a mom.”

“I want to be a mom but I don’t want to be a mom to his baby anymore. I really really did but now I can’t see it happening with him anymore. I don’t want to bring babies into an abusive situation.”

“That’s very mature of you to realize. I know it’s hard for you to want something so bad, be given the opportunity and then have to turn it down. I’m glad you’ve come to that conclusion yourself.”

“Yeah plus then a week later he got annoyed with me at a club and cheated on me.”

“He cheated on you? What did he do?”

“I don’t know all the details but he was kissing some random girl at a club we were at then he went home with her and he tried to sneak back in the house with hickeys covering his entire body.”

“You’re aware that him cheating is not your fault right?”

“I mean I know that it’s not but I can’t help but feel like it is. Like I took care of him better, if I loved him more, if I did the stuff he wanted me to do with him at all times maybe he wouldn’t have done it.”

“(Y/N) you do everything he wants at all times. He has complete control over you and you both know that. I’m sorry but there is nothing you could’ve done to stop him from doing that.”

“I mean I guess I’m no better really.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The night Auston was with that girl Freddie came back with me so I wasn’t alone after seeing Auston making out with that girl and he offered to help me get some of my uh..frustration out in a um..in a different way then kicking things around my apartment.”

“So sexual things?”

“Yeah..”

“Okay so what happened?”

“Well after Auston came home we got into a big fight and he told me to just go cut myself again since I couldn’t deal with him anymore right then. I was packing a bag to go somewhere else for a bit and he panicked and got really mad.”

“Why did he panic?”

“He thought I was leaving him for good.”

“Okay I see. Keep going.”

“Sorry it’s kind of hard to talk about.”

“No you’re doing great. Go at your own pace.”

“So anyway Auston told me to go see you so I’d calm down and be pleasant when he got home again. I was so angry and frustrated and what Freddie said the night before was buzzing through my head.”

“Because you’re attracted to him?”

“How did you know that?”

“The way you talk about him in here makes it pretty clear. But anyway what happened?”

“So I kinda barged into his room and kissed him..a lot.”

“And how was that?”

“Really nice.. A lot better than anything I’ve experienced with Auston in a long time.”

“So would you say that was a good thing?”

“I think so? I don’t know. I know it was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it but I don’t regret it at all.”

“Did anything else happen?” she asked scribbling in her notepad.

“Well I went to stay at his house because he didn’t want me alone and I couldn’t sleep because I was still upset so he offered to um help me out.”

“And did it help?”

“Yes. I didn’t think it was going to be as good as it was. We didn’t have actual sex it was just hand and mouth stuff on me but it was the first time some of that ever happened and no one had ever made me finish before. Oh god I’m sorry that’s probably way too much information.” I said covering my face in embarrassment.

“No you’re okay. We’re here to talk about whatever you need to talk about. If you think that’s important to add then it’s important. No need to be embarrassed.”

“That’s what Freddie always says too.”

“Was that all you did with Freddie?”

“There was more kissing but it never went further than that again because I was never upset when I was staying with him.”

“Is there any guilt for what you did?”

“No. And it’s not because I feel like Auston deserved it or anything like that. No one deserves to be cheated on no matter what the circumstances. I just don’t feel guilty about it even though it feels like I should.”

“There aren’t always feelings of guilt attached to something like that. Especially when emotional trauma and abuse has happened. If you don’t feel something about a situation, don’t go looking for that emotion, especially if it’s a negative one.”

“That makes sense I guess.” I said taking a sip of water from my cup.

“Are you still staying with Freddie?”

“No I went back to Auston’s about 3 weeks ago.”

“Why?”

“He was doing terrible. He wasn’t sleeping, his game was getting worse and worse. There’s was talk of trading him if it didn’t get better and it was my fault. It was because I wasn’t there. As soon as I went back his game improved drastically and he treated me well but now it’s right back to how it was. He’s not physical but he’s really mean again.”

“Have you seen Freddie since?”

“We got in a big fight when I left and he didn’t talk to me for a little bit but we’re back on speaking terms now. I saw him last week and I’m going to be seeing him today.”

“Nothing like seeing him every day like you used to.”

“I know I hate it. It feels like there’s something missing all the time.”

“Maybe you should tell him that?” she suggested with a small smile.

“He’s upset that I went back to Auston and I can’t blame him but I also can’t seem to help it. I don’t even want to be with Auston anymore I don’t think.”

“Why not?”

“I think I rushed into marriage with him. I was worried that I’d never find anyone and the fact that someone like him would be interested in me was insane. I feel more and more like I settled for him. He’s just been awful since marriage pretty much and to be completely honest for the first time I think that all I want is to be with Freddie.”

“Then why don’t you tell him?”

“God he would never feel the same. I’d just make a fool out of myself in front of a person I really love and care about. And it would be awful if the team found out..”

“Why would he offer to do things with you and have you in his home kissing you and doing things for you if he didn’t feel anything towards you?”

“He wants to have a naked girl that’s probably it. He hasn’t had a girlfriend since I met him.”

“Maybe there’s another reason for that.”

“What about the age difference though? What if it’s too much for him?”

“Can I be honest with you for a minute?” I nodded and she continued. “It sounds like you’re just making a million excuses to stay in a situation you’ve grown comfortable in because you’re afraid of starting something new.”

“Well you’re not wrong about that one.. It’s just very scary. I have pretty much nothing without Auston.”

“But it also sounds like you have nothing with Auston.”

“Again you’re not wrong. It doesn’t feel like I’m getting anything from Auston.”

“We’re almost out of time. Before you go though I’d like you to do an exercise for me. I want you to make a list of feelings you feel with Freddie today when you see him and Auston when you see him. I’d like to see you for your regular appointment in a couple days so bring it back with you and let’s take a look at it then okay?”

“Alright I can do that.”

“Okay sounds good. We can dive deeper into all this stuff on thursday too when we have more time if you want to.”

“Yeah I’d like that.”

“Alright well it’s time for my next appointment so I’ll see you if a couple days.” 

“Bye Alesia.”

“Have a good day (Y/N).”

I left the office not feeling anymore relaxed about my feelings than when I went in. I didn’t figure she would be able to do much in the 20 minutes I was there but I had really hoped she would at least tell me something solid. I needed someone to tell me to stay with Auston and that I shouldn’t leave him but no one was giving me that and she just made me feel more like Freddie was the one I should go to. I drove to Freddie’s house and let myself in.

“Freddie? Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” he yelled back. I followed his voice and found him in pajamas still, making lunch but he stopped and came over to give me a hug when I got there. “Hi cutie what’s up? You’re late I was getting worried.”

“I’m sorry I went to an emergency therapy appointment.”

“Oh? Why?”

“There’s just a lot on my mind that I haven’t really shared with anyone that I finally just needed to let out.”

“Do you feel any better since getting it off your chest?”

“No, more confused actually.” I said making him laugh.

“Well I’m sorry you’re confused still.” he let go of me giving me a kiss on the head before going back to cooking. I took out the paper that Alesia gave me that was split in two sections and started writing some words under Freddie’s side. I didn’t want to miss any feelings.

“What are you writing?” he asked coming around behind me with food for me.

“She wants me to write down the feelings I get when I’m around you vs when I’m around Auston.”

“Why?”

“That’s a lot of what the therapy session was about. Auston being a dick and some cute redhead I know that has been amazing to me.” I said making him blush.

“Wow sounds like a really nice redhead.”

“Yessir. The very nicest.” we were quiet for a while just eating  and when we were done we were still quiet. For once it was an awkward silence and I really didn’t like that. “Freddie please say what you want to say..”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell you want to say something. Our silences are only awkward when you’re holding something back.” I said getting up and laying my head on his shoulder wrapping my arms around his middle. “Are you okay?”

“Can we talk about what happened a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah. Yeah we can. I want to.”

“Let’s go sit down in the living room?”

“Okay.” I took his hand and led him to the couch. “Do you want to go first?”

“Yeah I would if that’s alright.” 

“Go for it Freddie.” I said giving him my undivided attention.

“Why did you go back.. Things seemed to be going so well and you weren’t as sad all the time and you just went running back. I was so worried about you the whole time..”

“I noticed how bad you guys were doing..you were losing so many games in a row..he was so out of it and it was all my fault. As soon as I went back you guys started winning again. I didn’t want you to keep losing all the time after trying so hard just because I couldn’t handle living with my husband.”

“Baby that was never your fault. Auston wasn’t playing because he wasn’t trying. He was out every night partying and just being lazy. It wasn’t you.” He hugged me tight and I started crying a little bit. “I can’t stand the thought of you thinking you had to go back to a shitty abusive partner because we were losing games.”

“But you were trying so hard Freddie and I could see how frustrated you were getting..I didn’t want you to keep losing.” I tried to wipe my tears but he beat me to it gently wiping them off my cheeks. “Then when I went back you were winning again and happy.”

“I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want you there. I didn’t sleep at all the day you left. I was worried and upset that you would leave and go back to him.”

“I’m so sorry Freddie.” I said sincerely placing a small kiss on his lips.

“I just want you to be safe and happy.”

“I just want you to be happy..” I said getting quiet again. It lasted a few minutes with him wiping my tears and me holding his wrist. “If it makes any difference I have never regretted anything more than leaving here to go back there. I just didn’t know what else to do. Auston is really good at making me feel like everything is always all my fault.”

“I’m sorry I got mad at you and yelled.”

“Don’t be. I deserved to be yelled at, I was being an idiot.”

“Still wasn’t a reason for me to raise my voice with you. I know how much that scares you and I still did it.”

“It’s really alright Freddie, I forgive you. Can I ask you something though?”

“Of course cutie, go ahead.”

“Why did you disappear..” I asked fresh tears springing to my eyes. “God sorry I keep crying ignore me.”

“I’ll never ignore you being sad. Come here.” he opened his arms to me and I crawled into his lap. He rubbed my back and kissed my forehead. “The reason I disappeared was because Auston told me to. He hated that I was on your side instead of his so he didn’t want me around you. It took me like a week to realize that it was so stupid to listen to him. I didn’t want to stay away from you but I didn’t know if it was just Auston or if you maybe didn’t want me around either. I was just very confused and nervous about the situation.”

“I was so sad that you disappeared and I thought it was my fault. That I fucked everything up like always.”

“You didn’t fuck up anything. I’m still here for you all the time no matter what. In any way you need.” he brushed my hair back behind my ear and leaned forward to give me a deep kiss. When he pulled away I smiled at him and brought out my piece of paper adding another word to it. “What are you writing?” he asked smiling back.

“Feelings remember?”

“Can I read it?” 

“Um..I guess but you aren’t allowed to be judgey about it.”

“I would never.” he kissed me again and took the list from me. I watched as his eyes went over the words and his cheeks redden at all of them.

The list went:

-warm

-happy

-excited

-electric

-cared for

-safe

-supported

-loved

“You’ve really felt all those things since getting here?”

“Yeah..sorry if they’re too much.”

“They aren’t. You’re never too much and neither are your feelings.”

“Thank you Freddie.”

“Thank you for sharing these with me.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled at him again and he kissed me one more time a little harder than before. There was something different in that kiss. It hit deeper than the others and I didn’t know how to think about that when his lips didn’t leave mine for a while.

[shy-marker-pliers]

Quick fluffy drabble of the Host and Eric fanboying over their favorite book together (one they read from the annual Ego book club) while everyone stares on in amazement of how adorable they are

~Book Club~

Warnings: Swearing (mild), food mention, implied mental abuse.

Relationship(s): Heric but it’s like before they officially become a thing so idk

@pawsitively-purfect sorry for taking 420 years but this ended up way longer than expected lol

The book club, surprisingly, was not The Host’s idea. It all started on a stormy day when the power went out, leaving almost everyone with nothing to do. Since it was basically pitch black and the only source of light in the house that wasn’t electric was the candles in the library, they all headed there, figuring that as long as they were quiet, The Host wouldn’t mind them hanging out for a while.

 He wasn’t surprised when they showed up. He’d known for weeks that the power was going to go out, thanks to a vision that he’d had. By the time they had reached the library, he had already made tea and arranged his armchairs in a circle to make conversation easier. 

Most of the egos found books and sat down to read, and the others were off in different parts of the library holding small conversations. Well, apart from the Jims and Wilford, who were having races to see who could scale the bookshelves fastest. 

“Hey Host, what’cha reading?“ King asked from his perch on top of the couch. 

“The Host is reading Frankenstein. It has been one of his favorite books for some time now-” 

“Oh, I love Frankenstein! I must’ve watched the gene wilder version a hundred times, at least!“

“That’s Young Frankenstein, Bim. It’s not even close to the original material. The Boris Karloff version is much better. It’s a classic.”

“Isn’t that the old boring one from like a bazillion years ago?”

“Wh- it isn’t boring, and it isn’t from ‘a bazillion years ago’, it was made in 1931. I saw it in theaters when it first came out and I personally thought it was-”

“Oh my god, we get it Dark, you’re old as hell.”

The Host closed his book and snapped his fingers, which was loud enough to make Eric jump about a foot and get everyone in the library to turn their heads, including the Jims and Wilford, who all toppled off the bookshelf they were climbing and landed in a pile on the floor as a result.

“While The Host does find this argument entertaining, he does wish to know if Bim and Dark have ever actually read the original Frankenstein novel.“

“Of course i’ve read it!“

“And does Dark remember anything from the book?“

“Well no, I read it more than fifty years ago, but-”

“Has anyone here read it, and if so, recently enough that they remember the plot?“

silence.

“Anyone at all?“

A longer, more drawn out silence.

“Heathens, all of you.”

“Okay, Mr. I’ve Memorized Every Book In Existence, if you want us to read it so bad why don’t you make a book club or somethin’?“ Ed scoffed.

Eric smiled and looked up at The Host. “H-Hey, that’s actually a really g-good idea! I m-mean, no one has to join of course and if you don’t want us in the library t-that’s totally okay, but...I think it’d be fun. We could have tea and I could make snacks o-or something! I’ve always wanted to try being in a book club but I was never allow- um...I-I mean, I never got the chance.” 

Eric trailed off at the end of his sentence and his smile dropped as he pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket, looking down at his shoes and running his fingers over the fabric.

“S-Sorry, I was excited and I started rambling...j-just...forget I said anything.”

And that was when The Host made up his mind. He was starting this goddamn book club.

Eric, unsurprisingly, was absolutely ecstatic when The Host agreed to...well, host the book club, even more so when he found out that most of the egos had decided to join in, even the Jims. The first book they read together was (obviously) Frankenstein, and since The Host didn’t have enough copies of the book for every ego to have one, he just ended up reading it to them while they all sat in a circle around him, which turned out to be a good thing, because some of the egos couldn’t concentrate on a book to save their lives and it was better for them to listen instead.

It didn’t take them long at all to finish, especially since they were all so invested. When the book was over, they all discussed their thoughts about it. The conversation quickly delved into chaos, but that was to be expected in the ego house, so no one was angry.

“I liked the part when the monster strangled Victor Frankenstein’s wife!”

“Uh...Wilford, don’t you think that’s a little fucked up?”

“Pff, no! It was funny!”

“No, the best part was obviously when the monster woke up because Victor harnessed the power of lightning and it was like ’ZAP!’ and the monster was all ‘Blehhh i’m aliveee!’” 

“I have to agree with Jim. the zappy zap was very interesting.”

“Thank you, Jim!”

“You’re welcome, Jim!”

While Wilford was trying to convince Bim and the Jims that murder was a completely normal thing to do and Dark was trying desperately to keep everyone else from joining the conversation, The Host stood up from his spot and moved to sit next to Eric on the couch, where he was watching everyone. He glanced over when he heard him sat down, fidgeting as he listened to the others argue.

“I-I’m sorry...if i’d have known that they’d all b-be fighting I wouldn’t have suggested this...”

“Eric has no reason to apologize. He had no way of knowing that this would happen. And besides, The Host rather enjoys this. His library has never been filled with so much life before.” He was silent for a moment as he surveyed the chaos.

“Anyway, the purpose of a book club is to discuss literature, which is what the other egos are doing, even if they are rather...confrontational about it.”

Eric let out a small giggle,and The Host smiled. “Y-Yeah, I guess you’re right. I can’t exactly join the conversation l-like this, though. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but i’m not very much of a fighter.”

“Neither is The Host. Perhaps he and Eric could discuss the book together?”

“Y-Yeah! I can see why you like it so much, I thought it was r-really interesting. Makes you think, y’know? Especially, like, how everyone sees Victor as the good guy even though he made the monster and then abandoned it as soon as it came to life just because it s-scared him and basically caused it to have to live i-in the forest and stuff.”

The Host nodded in agreement. “Exactly. The monster was only a monster because that was how other people saw it. Despite the fact that it had the mind of a human and tried to show people that it was good and not nearly as frightening as it seemed, people refused to see past what it looked like on the outside.” 

Oh. 

Oh.

So that was why The Host liked that book so much.

Eric frowned slightly. “It deserved a much better ending than it got...I wish that Victor had made another monster like it asked him to. A-At least that way it wouldn’t be sad or alone anymore...”

Eric and The Host continued to discuss the book and the underlying commentary, And Host couldn’t have been happier that he had someone to talk about his favorite book with. They were so focused on each other that they hadn’t even noticed that the other egos had all stopped fighting and were looking at them.

“Oh my god, that is literally the most adorable thing i’ve ever seen.”

“I know, right? They’re both so excited!”

“Come to think of it, I don’t think i’ve ever seen either of them this happy...”

“Hush, everyone. Let’s go upstairs now. I get the feeling that they’ll be talking for a while.”

[atinytokki]

Here’s my first impressions (aka this is what 2020 is gonna sound like folks)

Alright so I’m really behind today, as some of you know I literally just got back from vacation and it’s also my first day of classes this semester and it’s just craziness. Yes I’m posting the first chapter of Yeosang’s spin-off today. But people seemed to like my first impressions of the last album so I’m going to do them again. Thankfully (?) this album is a lot shorter so I can pause and talk about stuff.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying. Keysmashes included.

Post-MV thoughts before I listen to it again: There’s way too much to focus on and I’ve watched it many many times to look at the choreo and the storyline stuff that’s happening, but this is my first time listening without the video so I’ll notice more musically this time. But first I wanna say; YEOSANG’S LINES!!!! I’ve been screaming for forever that he has a beautiful deep voice and needs to be given parts that compliment it. And wow it finally happened :’) Anyway here we gooo

건배하자 like a thunder!! Can you believe they literally spoiled the entire hook of their next song in Beginning of the End? *flashbacks to my utter confusion when that happened* San sounds amazing and I like the little echoey thingies. Gives it a real nostalgic feel. Jongho already popping off vocally barely 10 seconds in. Mingi’s rap here and the transition to Hongjoong’s— rap line goals. The attitude in that mm-mm made me smile ngl. This prechorus might be my favourite part of the song. Seonghwa sounds heavenly. An EDM drop bringing back that hook, good decision and again it kinda feels nostalgic?? Especially the oh-oh-ohs which are also giving me a pirate drinking song vibe wow 0.0 Wooyoung with that 불러 불러 lol. Yes the Yeosang part!! I love a good post-chorus switchup and he. handled. it. perfectly. There’s even harmony, yall know how much I love harmony. And SINGING RAPPERS AHAHDJAHAK YESSSSS. Back to that glorious prechorus but it’s Yunho’s turn. This chorus is just such an anthem. I’m bopping rn. San in this bridge— he said I am a VOCALIST listen to my beautiful VOICE. Yay the rappers going back and forth again!! It’s like If Without You. Man I can’t believe I get to replay this song forever. 2020 is gonna be lit. You hit those notes Jongho! I’m always blown away by this kid, and that scoop earlier mmmm. Just nodding very energetically right now. Perfect end to the song. 100/10!!!!

Okay I’m pausing before the next one starts because no I am not prepared. It’s just like last time; I know Hongjoong wrote this and I know it’s gonna ruin me but I have no idea how and when and what it’s even gonna be like but anyway, too bad, let’s just go.

Oh kinda futuristic sounding opening with the synths? Yooo the vocal thingy in the background, sounds like a sample of some kind, that is super cool and I hope we get more of it. Ok I paused just to write that, let me unpause. This is gonna be a long one, I can already tell, sorry guys 😅 And the beat changed right before the vocalists came in. definitely a back and forth thing here in two registers, very sweet. Wow. WOW MINGI WOW. This rap is?? It sounds super mature and idk just full of confidence. I’m shook. Ok the chorus. Holy cow this is LIT lit. Nope nope I need to pause and go back. This is so chaotic, I feel like I’m missing things?? I’m listening to that chorus again because there were so many elements there. I just wanna take this song and break it down second by second to hear every single sound hahahah. I’m only catching an odd word or two here as far as lyrics go. Oml harmonies 💆🏻‍♀️ Alright Hongjoong’s rap. OMG if he sounded sassy in Answer this is a whole new level and I LOVE IT. Flow is 100/10. The “are you gonna take me there” gives me chills. This song needs a dance this chorus is TOO LIT. Am I at a rave rn??? Oh thank God the bridge took it back a level. Ok I’m pausing because I think I caught some of the lyrics this time. If I’m not wrong I heard 난 궁금해 저 끝이 궁금해, 더 가까이 조금 더 가까이 ? Which is something like “I wonder, I wonder about the end. Closer, a little bit closer” if I heard correctly. I need to look up the lyrics in full later because Hongjoong has a big brain and his lyrics are always 🤯🤩 Ok unpause. Final breakdown! Yep this is going on repeat the rest of today. Jongho yussss with the ad libs. No it’s over ㅠㅠ Alright this one is already vying for top spot this album. We shall see. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HONGJOONG GENIUS.

Um so yeah I saw them perform this live for their anniversary thingy and cried so this should be fun. At least I already know the song so how much can it hurt me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smart of whoever put this album together to stick this song right in the middle and make us cry between head banging to the other songs. Mingi in the beginning is just 💖💕💘💝💓 San ballad king. I need more ballads from him. Jongho, of course, with perfect vocal control. Oh Seonghwa too, I need more ballads from him. Wooyoung with T H A T part. A tear is forming, I just love this chorus. People are saying the song should be in a drama and I 100% agree. Everyone together FOREVER YOU ARE MY STARRR. The little drum frills it’s so cute :(( Yay Hongjoong, and his cute little voice I’m UWUWU. Wooyoung with the high note and I’m ascending........... Chorus again and this is the real meaning of crying in the club. It just occurred to me that the second verse seemed really short. Yeosang + Hongjoong + that guitar in the bridge is *chef’s kiss*. This is so emotional, do we really need to do this at 4am?!? I’m just gonna vibe for a sec, it’s the last chorus. The ad libs were so perfect and the way it ended— wow. I need a moment.

From my understanding this is a full version of the Precious Overture they gave us last album. Tempted to go back and see my first impressions about that one, but either way i have a distinct feeling my wig is about to be snatched. Let’s GOOO

So far, it’s starting the same. Creepy humming and all. Okay scratch that, we have a vocal melody. Yunho sounds great ugh I’m so proud. Sorry, San’s voice just takes me to another plane of existence or something, how can it be that smooth and gorgeous, someone please explain. Building to something now... Oo. OO?! Hongjoong’s rapping. This is so cool oh wow, and into this vocal part which I believe is the chorus?? wOW wow it’s amazing to hear this having already heard the bgm, this is like a new level of appreciation. It really all goes well. Ah we have a switch up now with Seonghwa. guys GUYS GUYS you know how I feel about switch ups. Sorry I’m going back to catch something. The tempo changed here and really grabbed my attention. The bass is also super cool, it’s actually the same melody as the treasure opening (and the opening of this song) but much lower, I believe. Uh oh guys this might be vying for top spot too. Let’s continue. Ok Mingi’s rap which I’ve already heard. Um I’m confused now. It’s Hongjoong’s rap again? Is this the chorus?? Woah woah hold on I gotta pause. Because. Wait, what?? This is the chorus??!? Yoooooooo bold move! I have no idea what is going on but I love it. Continuing on. Ah yeah ok the vocal part with Yeosang again, so I guess the rap + vocal part is the chorus? Also I neglected to mention but Yeosang is killing this song. Ooh okay this bridge is building some suspense. Feeeelingggggg.... And now a shouted version of the rap for the final chorus. Okay wow I’m impressed that they took it this direction. And Jongho with the ad libs is PERFECTIONNNN. Oop okay they’ve added the revised-lyric Treasure part to the end here. And the lyrics are the same as in Precious (Overture) so I’m guessing we still didn’t find the treasure, good grief. How long is it gonna take to find this treasure 😅. And it ended like that. Well. WOW. Again, I could listen to this on repeat all day. Again, I am deceased. Instant fave.

I’m pretty sure this is the exact same as I already heard on the trailer thingy but we are gonna react to it anyway.

The orchestra really loosens my tear ducts like nothing else. It’s beautiful, who else is doing it like them?? “Did you find your treasure?” Yes, I found ATEEZ 🥺. The way he says “finally found it” . This is Maddox btw. Also about Maddox, hang on I’m gonna pause for a PSA: guys if you don’t know Maddox please PLEASE check him out. He’s doing the amazing narration on this (and Intro too), he’s a soloist under KQ and one of Ateez’s hyungs who they look up to. In addition to his superior narrating talents, he is also an amazing vocalist. If you like R&B and lo-fi music I would definitely recommend him, he just dropped a single called Color Blind, his insta is xxmaddox, he’s a great guy and YEAH that’s all for my plug but go stan him, he is deserving and proof of the fact that KQ artists are talent through and through. Unpausing! The way the orchestra swells and then goes into a piratey sounding theme is so motivating and familiar :))) “Can you hear those voices?” HNGJRKSNDN WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SCARY. This is the Epilogue, it’s supposed to be like the denouement, the falling action!! The bad guys should be gone now! What’s next?? Treasure Ep: Answer to Question? Because that’s what I have after this album! More questions!!! Anyway, the bass here and the humming 👌🏻 100/10 for the instrumental. And in ATEEZ fashion, they leave me thirsting for more.

So that was my first impression/live reaction to the mini album! I think it’s Horizon and Precious fighting for #1 currently. Maybe I’ll reblog with second and third and fourth impressions... Thanks for reading if you got this far! And tell me what your first impressions were and if I missed something big while I was keysmashing. TTFN~

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz