#lokita's gaming adventures

[lokitapendragon]

Talion: I'll never get used to dying.

Celebrimbor: Perhaps we should stop dying, then.

[lokitapendragon]

Lokita Plays Shadow of War

Orc captain: They told me about you, but they never mentioned your beauty! You're mine now, love. Forever and ever and ever.

Me: ...I want to execute you with extreme prejudice, but I need more allies in this map area, so I'll recruit you instead.

Orc captain: I AM HONORED!

Me: ...🤢

[lokitapendragon]

Just finished all but the Epilogue.

I'm not here to spoil anything for others but even with getting it spoiled for myself, I've been crying for twenty minutes.

Screw you, Eltariel. Die, "Annatar." And as for you, Wraith-- the elf you were in life would die all over again of shame.

This game is not true to Tolkien canon, but this much I'll maintain: what's truer to Tolkien's original themes than a protracted power fantasy ending in pain and a fate worse than death? Nobody wins. And whether in body or spirit, everyone dies.

My heart hurts.

[lokitapendragon]

My very first video game of any kind ever (like I didn't know how to use the PS4 controller) was Witcher 3. And let me tell you, THAT was a learning curve. That was a three-year-old getting dumped in the deep end with no floaties.

If you played Witcher before the last big update, you know that Geralt could survive being beaten, cut, poisoned...but falling off a 10-foot roof would kill him instantly. Fortunately they fixed this with the last update and now little falls don't kill me but my slain draconids always "fall" onto empty air instead of the ground.

But after being paranoid of falling in Witcher, my very favorite part of Shadow of Mordor is taking a running leap off any high surface (especially the fast-travel towers) and going "WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" as Talion free-falls through a thousand feet of empty air into an A+ superhero landing. 😂

[lokitapendragon]

I freely admit that I'm a tech doofus. But when an update seemingly deletes all my previous saves, Geralt can't run, and Signs are effectively non-functioning...pretty sure I'm not the problem.

Why, CDPR?

[lokitapendragon]

To the people out there who do the weird modifications for pre-existing games (I am a baby gamer and can barely handle a PS4 controller, I have no idea what you call yourselves,) Witcher 3: Wild Hunt needs options for two things. 1: Raze the Crime Scene. Locations where Bad Things Happened should have an option for Aard or Igni to just...reduce them to rubble/ashes. The barn on Undvik, the two labs where witchers were tortured, Junior’s room, as examples. I want to burn these places down and erase them from the continent. 2: Respect the Dead. This could be a character-defining choice, for Pete’s sake. I want the option to bury the werewolf who begs you to kill him! I want to lay Kiyan to rest with his swords! I want to light a candle for Jerome Moreau! It could be a tiny 3-second cutscene triggered by an action choice that just shows you gently crossing their arms over their chests or something, but leaving them laying around like so much carrion BOTHERS me.

[lokitapendragon]

For Pete's sake, I trusted Regis, I told Detlaff his motives were human, I went and got the stupid girl rather than try to strong-arm him with the Elder, I defended him to Anna Henrietta, I even tried to throw the freaking fight when he attacked me because BRO I GET IT and still Regis had to freaking end him. I TRIED SO HARD.

[lokitapendragon]

I’m 29 years old and have literally never held a freaking game controller in my life...until Christmas when my boyfriend surprised me by downloading Witcher III.

My accomplishments now include screaming expletives at CGI griffins and killing Geralt by sprinting off a broken bridge and straight into a tree.

[lokitapendragon]

Me: I banged the redhead! My boyfriend: Cool! Did you get XP?

[lokitapendragon]

(I've never played the game before so please, no spoilers.)

So far all I've done in Blood and Wine is trust Regis with literally everything despite knowing LESS THAN NOTHING about this character...all because the very first time we meet him in the game, Geralt hugs him without hesitation. (He doesn't even hug Dandelion right off the bat, does he?) So I just really, really hope I'm making the right call and things aren't about to go all Ruby-from-Supernatural-shaped.

[lokitapendragon]

That awkward moment when, minutes after completing a quest, you text your gamer friend and go “Oh hey, what’s it mean when a quest has a red skull under the name?”

And your friend goes “Run away! You’re under-leveled and you will die!”

And it’s THEN that you’re introduced to the Quests panel...which tells you that the reason you’ve been spending days trying to defeat certain monsters for the last month is that the last SEVEN QUESTS you did were at LEAST 7 levels over your freaking head.