#logically I know worst case scenario I have to just delay things and come back to it

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

TFW you double check your stuff to make sure you’re doing things properly within the rules only to realize you misread the rules and have actually fucked everything up so your soul shrivels up and dies

[amydancepants-peralta]

Could you write a fic about the cold open of 7×04 and what actually wouldve happened if terry wasnt in his office 😂 (By the way i love your content!)

I definitely can!  (Did I spend the majority of today writing this, and very little else?  Yes I did.  Was it a valuable use of my time?  Absolutely.)

Rated NSFW - and also available on AO3 if you’d prefer. 👮🏽‍♀️

oh captain, my captain

With a satisfied hum Amy adjusts the last pile of paperwork on the desk, nudging it slightly to the left so that it sits perfectly perpendicular with both the right and bottom edges of the wood grained surface.  Double checking that all breakable items have been stored away for safekeeping, she stands in the centre of the captain’s office once done, folding her arms across the front of her chest as she allows herself a cursory nod of approval. 

There’s an anxious energy running through to the tip of her right foot, and the steady tick of clock on the wall reminds her of the metronome that used to accompany every music lesson she took in high school.  Briefly, she wonders if her and Jake’s son will play an instrument as well.   

Her nerves are racing, and she’s barrelling towards a severe case of paranoia; but logically she knows that her plan is sound, so Amy runs through several key points in her head, one last time:

1: Scully and Hitchcock’s recent hare-brained plan to build and cook a Mega Pizza at their desk (their mourning period from the pizza vending machine finally coming to an end) had resulted in a small fire and the complete short-wiring of all electrical equipment on the fourth floor, rendering the bullpen and all surrounding offices completely useless,

2: Budget cuts meant that the repair crew would not be in for two more days, and due to the lack of security and surveillance, the floor had been cut off from access entirely - except for Sergeant Santiago, whom they’d trusted would hold the keys to each stairwell in safekeeping, and

3: The growing baby in her uterus has set her hormones onto an all-time high, and if there was any chance for this fantasy to come to life, it was right. now. 

Adjusting the tucked in edges of her version of work attire, Amy fiddles with the toy captain’s badge that she had clipped to the front.  It wasn’t nearly as shiny as the real thing, and was far too light to feel legitimate, but there was still a sliver of joy that ran down her spine whenever she looked at it attached to her chest.  One day, hopefully not too far from now, the real thing would be there permanently.

Flicking her wrist upwards, she looks at watch without ever registering the time.  It was relatively late in the evening and she had texted Jake fifteen minutes ago, explaining that she was finishing up some duties in the precinct and needed some help moving some heavy boxes around in Terry’s office.  Like the sweet and dutiful husband she knew him to be, he had responded within seconds, an emoji filled text message telling her that he was on his way.  

He had been so supportive the past five months - supportive for their entire relationship, if she really thought about it - stocking up on the one brand of tea that didn’t make her feel sick, offering regular back and foot rubs, drawing baths with just the right amount of hot water and bubbles, and complimenting her body with such sincerity that even on her worst days, Amy had still felt a little bit desirable.  He honestly had been exactly the kind of charming husband that she knew he would be, and she couldn’t wait to see him turn into an equally wonderful father to their son.  

She glances at the clock on the wall and sighs, shifting the captain’s hat she’s been holding to her left hand before placing it carefully on her head.  He just needs to work on his punctuality.  

Finally, she can hear the telltale squeak of his favourite sneakers, growing louder as he moves further into the bullpen, and only moments later he calls out - “Ames?” 

“In here!” Amy yells in response, adjusting the stark white blouse one last time and putting on her best Power Pose as she waits.  His steps are faster now that he knows where to go, and as he opens the door and sees his wife standing before him in a makeshift captain’s uniform, Jake’s eyes turn as wide as saucers.  

“Babe?”

“Detective Peralta.  It’s about time you got here.  Close the door.”

With his eyebrows flickering upwards, Jake blinks a few times before responding, the blinds rattling slightly at the force of his movement.  “Yes, ma’am, I apologise for the delay.  I got caught up in - ”

“Spare me the details, detective.  We can discuss your issues with time management later.  There are more important matters at hand.”

His posture straightens and he nods, and a familiar twinkle begins to show in those beautiful brown eyes.  

Focus, Amy.

“It’s come to my attention recently that, despite previous scenarios that have held similar elements, there still appears to be a pressing need for the reality to occur.”  She can see Jake suppressing a grin, and holds her ground as he starts walking towards her.  “And while said earlier exercises have held a very high success rate, it would seem as though sometimes there is just no substitute for the real thing.”

Jake stops just in front of her, close enough that Amy can smell that intoxicating mix of cologne and their fabric softener and Jake.  His grin hasn’t faded - if anything, it’s grown - and he grips his hands behind his back like a dutiful officer of the law.  While his eyes trace up and down her body, taking in the uniform, his grin turns into a full-blown beam, and after he beat he leans forward to whisper -  “You want me to fuck you in the Captain’s Office?”

She nods, quick and stern, and corrects his inflection.  “I’m going to fuck you in the Captain’s Office.”

His breath is warm against her cheek as he lets out a grunted hell yeah, pressing his lips against hers a mere second later.  Warm hands are wrapped around her waist, and hers curl around his neck as the need to be as close as possible to him overthrows the need to play pretend, and when his tongue massages hers Amy cannot help but let out a contented sigh.  

His face has taken on That Look when they finally pull apart, that I’m so turned on look that Amy loves to see (but really, she loves all of his faces, and damn anyone who says that makes her a lovestruck fool), and her heart begins to race at the anticipation of what’s to come.

They’d only been dating a few weeks the first time they tried this; a pared down version of role play with Jake using his very best authoritative captain’s voice and turning Amy on so quickly that the resulting sex had led to multiple orgasms for both.  For their one year anniversary (a date that had been delayed slightly by a temporary Floridian residence), he had set up the reading room in her apartment to be an almost exact replica of Holt’s office, and proceeded to fuck her on every single available surface.  It was a treasured memory, and one that rated very high on her list of Favourite Sexy Timez, and even to this day she cannot read a book in there without getting turned on just a little bit by the thought of it.

Over the years they’d branched out into various role plays, with a special section of their closet dedicated specifically to the costumes they’ve acquired along the way, and while Jake has definitely seen Amy in this captain’s uniform before she’s fairly certain that this change of scenery into something far more real is going to turn him even more than usual.

Lord knows it has definitely worked out that way for her.

His hands have stayed on her waist, and with a grin he yanks her closer, pressing his hips into hers.  Yep.  It’s definitely working for him too.

He pulls her in for another kiss, and as much as she wants to let him, there are a few important details that the need to iron out first, and so Amy presses her hands against the grey shirt that lay underneath his open flannel.

“There needs to be a few quick rules before we go through with this, Peralta.”

“Whatever it is, I’m going to say yes.”

“Obviously.”  She raises her hand, pointing her index finger upwards.  “Rule one, what happens in here never leaves these four walls.”

Jake nods.  “No doubt.  Rule two, I get to replay this in my mind whenever I feel like it.”  His hands slide lower, gripping her butt gently.  “And babe, I’m gonna feel like it a lot.”

Smiling, Amy shakes her head.  “Rule number three.”  She leans in, grabbing the open panels of his shirt and pulling him closer.  “You’ve gotta make me scream, babe.”

He grins, that sexy smirk that once only belonged in the bedroom but over the years has progressed to closets, kitchens, living rooms and even once an elevator with the emergency break on.  “Yes, Captain.”

Oh, mama.  Her breath catches in her chest, and Amy can feel her eyes widen as she looks up at her husband, the facade temporarily stripped away as she speaks.  “Say it again.”

Jake leans in this time, moving his hands to rest two fingers against his forehead, pushing them away quickly in a faux salute, and ohhhh mama.  “At your command, Captain Santiago.”

Her lips are pressed against his before another thought can be made, the amount of desire running through her veins providing more than enough fuel for Amy to get the fire started.  Jake’s hands move just as quickly, wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer before tugging at the blouse that she had tucked so perfectly into place.  Moaning into Jake’s mouth, Amy shuffles them backwards, casting both of his shirts to the floor and feeling the edge of the desk scrape along her thighs as they make their way to the tall leather chair that has held such power in so many moments.  

Jake pushes her against the desk before they can get there, digging his fingers into her ass with such ferocity that Amy feels the blood rush in for repair at his release, and when his hands move up to undo her buttons she lets out another encouraging moan into his mouth.  It had been a passing joke when Jake had misinterpreted her request, months ago on the morning of the Jimmy Jabs, but Amy would be lying if she said there hadn’t been a frisson of excitement run down her spine at the suggestion of it, and now that it was finally happening, she couldn’t wait to get to the good stuff.

A rush of cool air hits her overheated skin as Jake flicks open the last button on her blouse, shoving the panels to the side and letting out an appreciative sigh at what he finds underneath.  She knew him to be a fan of the curves that her pregnancy has blessed her with - particularly when it came to her boobs - and Amy had done her due diligence in researching a front clasping bra specifically for this occasion.  It was nude in colour - work appropriate of course, even if this particular uniform is technically a costume - and had just enough padding and lace to make her chest look incredibly inviting.  

“Ames,” Jake whispers, eyes bright with attraction as he leans down to begin a trail of kisses against her bare skin, scraping his teeth along her collarbone.  Carding her fingers through his hair, Amy uses her right hand to reach in-between Jake’s chest and hers, undoing the clasp in a practiced move and Jake sighs in approval at the sudden change of pace.  His hands move lower; undoing her navy blue slacks as his tongue laps gently at each of her nipples, already aware of the sensitivity that she’s begun to experience there, but tonight all of her nerves are on high alert in other places, and so Amy digs her fingernails into Jake’s hair in silent encouragement to continue.  

He lets out another moan, the sensation of his voice vibrating against her skin as he leaves a gentle bite underneath one breast, lifting her hips up slightly to push her slacks towards the floor.  Amy kicks off her shoes quickly and Jake follows her lead, listening for the heavy thunk as both hers and his hit the ground.  She lets her hands linger along the bulge of her husband’s biceps as they wander lower, undoing the button and fly of Jake’s jeans as his lips move back up towards hers for a heated kiss.

His hands roam along the curve of her belly, touch turning incredibly soft as he traces the gentle swell where their son is currently growing.  He’s been so incredibly enamoured with watching Amy’s body grow, making it a daily ritual to kiss both her and her bump good morning and good night and making Amy’s heart flutter just a little bit each time.  Some nights he rests his head against her abdomen as they lay together on the couch, and on lazy mornings when getting out of bed seems like way too much of an effort he will shuffle down the mattress, leaning in to tell their baby boy the story of how he and Amy met, peppering the moments with truly terrible dad jokes that she just knows he’s been storing up for future reference.  

“You really are my dream girl,”  Jake mumbles against her cheek as he kisses a path towards her earlobe, nipping gently at the hypersensitive spot that only he knows about just below.  Amy’s responding giggle turns into a gasp as he does so, and she grips the waist of his jeans and pushes them down as far as her position will allow, waiting for Jake to pull back slightly so that he can take care of the rest of the material.

The chair moves back into her eye line as Jake shakes the last leg of his jeans off, and Amy rises from her perched position on the edge of the desk to meet her husband, planting her palms square against his chest as she shoves him backwards.  His butt lands square on the seat as he lets out a surprised yelp, and she grins.  “Now I’ve got you exactly where I wanted you, detective.”

He lets out a soft laugh, his arousal obvious in the unusual gruffness of his voice (and the sizeable bulge in his boxers), opening his arms out in silent invitation - and it’s one that Amy is very willing to respond to.  She moves towards Jake, resting one hand along the top of the chair as she plants one knee on the cushion beneath them, and then pauses.

“Wait … the arms on this don’t move.  Can you - ”

“Uh … what if I - ”

“Oof.  Okay let me just put my knee - ow, babe!”

“Sorry!  I think maybe if ..”

“This belly doesn’t make things … How about - Oh god no, my back!”

Out of nowhere, Jake bursts into laughter, the absolute ridiculousness of the situation causing his chest to bounce with joviality.  His hands are resting against Amy’s back, low enough to support her movements as she laughs along with him, tucking her head into his neck as the tears streak down her face.  In mere seconds, all of the tension dissipates, and that is a skill that only someone like her husband could possess.  

Amy rests her hands against Jake’s dancing shoulders, sliding her palms up to cup his jawline, taking in his infectious smile and oh how she loves this man.  Both of their pants are on the floor of their superior’s office, her shirts is wide open and Jake’s hair is all over the place from her fingers running through it, but she feels as comfortable right here as she would if they were at home on their couch.  

She loves Jake Peralta for a lot of reasons, and that was never going to change.  

Bending slightly lower Amy tips the captains cap back and drops her forehead to rest against Jake’s, leaving a soft kiss against the bridge of his nose as their laughter begins to trickle to a stop, and it’s only a second later that he moves his head to capture her lips with his own.  It’s a simple kiss, the sweetness of it all proving to be too much for Amy as they part, and she strokes Jake’s right cheek with her hand stating the most simples of truths: “I love you.”

His cheeks flush slightly as he looks up at her in utter adoration, right hand sliding along her outer thigh as he replies.  “I love you too, Ames.”  Shifting his body ever so slightly, Jake digs his fingers into her skin and continues.  “Here, rest your weight on this leg .. I have an idea how we can make this work.”

“I’m still not going to be able t-ohhhhh.”  The protest dies in the back of Amy’s mouth as Jake’s fingers push her underwear to the side, the angle of her half standing position giving him easy access to where she really wants him.   He circles her clit slowly, watching her lungs expand and contract as he slowly gains speed, and as Amy moves her hands to his shoulders, Jake dips his middle finger inside.  Her breath hitches, and he pulls out before returning, once with two fingers and then again with three.  

“So wet, babe.  You’ve been thinking about this a lot, huh?”  Jake’s lips are pushing against Amy’s before she can answer, and the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of her takes all response away from her, letting her tongue push against his in response instead.  

She comes to when he finally pulls away, taking in a shuddering breath before throwing him a withering stare for a millisecond, stating “You were ten minutes late, Peralta.”  Pulling him back in for another kiss Amy sinks her teeth into his lower lip in admonishment, and Jake’s responding groan vibrates again her chest.  She smiles when they part, running her hand through his hair and tugging gently at the roots.  “I had to think about something to pass the time.”

“Mmm,” Jake moans, tucking his head into Amy’s neck as his fingers move faster, “Let me make that up to you, babe.”  He makes no hesitation in twisting his wrist, circling his thumb around in the small, rapid circles that he does so expertly.  It’s a well-practised move, one performed only two days ago when he crowded her up against the kitchen sink and pushed her over the edge while they waited for their coffee to finish brewing. 

His fingers stop pumping, pushing in deep and holding still while slightly crooked.  Jake grins up at her as his thumb doubles down in intensity, and Amy tightens her thighs against his wrist as she comes with a stuttered gasp, a mumbled version of her husband’s name falling from her lips as her shaking legs release him from her grip.  She giggles softly (at least, as much as her racing lungs will allow her) and grabs Jake’s hand as he pulls away, pulling it towards her lips and sucking gently on his fingers, sighing in satisfaction at the taste of her arousal.  ���Consider yourself forgiven.”

His hand falls from her grasp, and Jake stretches himself up to kiss Amy, gripping his arms around her lower back tightly as he lifts off of the chair, stumbling back towards the desk and resting her butt against the surface once he feels the hard wood press against his thighs.

“I need to be inside you,” he mumbles between hot kisses as his fingers grip the top of her panties, and Amy lifts her hips again to help the fabric disappear faster.  He makes quick work of his own boxers once her underwear is on the floor - and honestly Amy has fantasised about giving Jake a blowjob in this office enough times that she genuinely had planned to do so - but all the hormones that her body was producing right now had turned her into a horny mess and she, too, needed him inside her now.

Spreading her legs as Jake moves in between them, Amy raises her hand up and pulls away the captains hat that she’d managed to keep on until now, resting it on the surface before planting her hands behind her body for support.  She smiles up at Jake as he groans with lust, pumping his wrist up and down his cock while his tongue darts out to moisten the edge of his mouth.  “You truly are the sexiest woman alive, you know that right?”

She nods, and Jake leans in for a kiss, tongue slipping into her mouth as he pushes his cock inside, fingers digging into her hips before resting beside hers on the desk.  This time it’s Amy’s turn to moan as Jake begins to pump slowly, getting both of them used to this unfamiliar position, and honestly every thrust already feels incredible.  

He watches her with the careful eyes of a well-trained detective, but also that of an attentive husband (both of them had discovered that once pregnant, Amy’s body gave different reactions to things that used to work so well), and she gives Jake an encouraging nod of her head as he begins to pick up speed.  She couldn’t tell if it was the angle that the desk presented, or the fact that there were doing it in the captain’s office, but everything felt fucking amazing and she could already feel her body beginning to respond.

“Oh god Jake, yes …”  Bending back on both hands Amy tents her knees, resting her heels precariously along the edge of the desk and letting her body bounce to the rhythm of Jake’s thrusts as all of nerve endings begin to come alive.  The various collegiate novels and industry awards that are lined up on the shelves behind Jake catch her eye, and the sheer illicitness of what they are doing feels better than she could have possibly anticipated.  They should have done this years ago.  Her husband’s right hand moves to cup one of breasts, pushing the heel of his palm along the bottom just the way she likes, and the pressure feels so good that she lets out a gentle moan.  His fingers move further, circling her sensitive nipple with his thumb and only weeks ago an action like that would have had her screaming in pain, but thank god her body has adjusted to these changes because NOW it feels like he’s lighting a match with every stroke, pushing her closer and closer to combustion.  “Yes!  Harder, babe!”

Jake’s breath is hot against her neck as he leaves a series of slopping kisses, dropping one to her mouth before pulling away, breathless.  “You feel so good Ames, so hot … I can’t believe we’re fucking in the captain’s office.  Fuck I love you.”

Amy moves her head back up slightly, eager to watch her husband as he moves closer to the point of no return, and the sight of his beautiful face as he thrusts harder and harder makes Amy call out his name, circling one leg around his lower body in silent encouragement for more.  Glancing behind her quickly, Amy grips the edge of the captain’s hat from the desk, using her thumb to rotate it within her grasp and places it onto Jake’s head with a cheeky grin.  It seems to spur him on, her body rocking against the desk with every single thrust as he increases the intensity, that determined look that she loves so much falling onto his face as he pushes harder and faster. 

Amy lets her hand slide back down his chest, pinching his right nipple as she goes before heading straight for her clit, holding on to Jake’s steady gaze as she begins to move her fingers in the rapid circles that never fail to get her off.  She doesn’t want this to end, but her first orgasm had felt so. good! and she was absolutely ready for another.  The handles on the desk drawers beneath them begin to rattle as Jake really begins to hammer into her, clearly racing towards climax as he mouths Ames over and over.  

The sensation of it all becomes too much a couple of minutes later and Amy cranes her neck back, calling out her husband’s name as another orgasm takes over her body, the delicious rush of it all making her giggle nonsensically.  From above her, Jake moans as Amy’s insides pulse around him, and when she drops her chin to watch him he grips her butt in both hands, pulling her as close as the bump will allow and changing the angle completely.   

His pubic bone rubs against her clit with every forceful pump from this new position, and even though Amy’s just had an orgasm and she would normally be oversensitive by this point, she’s also incredibly turned on - and as Jake’s thrusts continue she grips her other leg around his waist, holding on to him with nothing but her lower body as another wave washes over her.  This time proves to be too much for Jake as he follows her over the edge, digging his fingers into her skin and calling out her name as he releases everything he has.   

It takes a while for either of them to come down from the high, with only the sound of panting breaths and gentle kisses filling the room.  Slowly they part, holding out items of clothing to the other as they begin to put themselves back together, adding in a lingering touch every time one of them is near enough.  

They clear away the evidence of their tryst with the practiced efficiency of a team that know each other inside and out (because really, that’s the only way you could describe their partnership by now), and Jake pulls Amy in for one last lingering kiss as he fastens the top button of his jeans.

“Alright babe, I’m just gonna grab a few things from my desk while I can get to it, and then let’s go home, yeah?”

Amy nods, running her hand along her ponytail and quickly deciding it probably needs to be redone.  “Yep, I’ll be right out.  Oh, and Jake?” 

He turns at the doorway, one hand still gripping the outside frame, and Amy takes deliberately strong steps towards him.  Grabbing him by the collar, she yanks him in hard and fast for a swift kiss, pulling away before he can even try to deepen it.  There’s a flustered look on his face as they part, which when matched with his I just had sex hair makes him all the more adorable, and Amy gives him a quick wink before pushing him out completely.

“Dismissed.” 

[chaoskirin]

Packing the Court

Why is everyone talking about the repercussions of Biden packing the court if he’s elected? If we’re able to get all three branches under democratic control, we’ll never have to worry about GOP retaliation. And here’s why:

The problem with so many voters is a lack of critical thinking. They don't know why their democrat president won't get things done. They don't understand that without congress and the SC backing the president, the president can't do shit. So when nothing gets done, they're like "oh well maybe I'll vote Republican this time because democrats clearly don't do anything."

Then when the Republican president can't accomplish anything, they're like "oh well maybe I'll vote Democrat this time, since the Republicans can't do anything."

Basically “I don’t understand how the three branches work, but I know the president is important, so he’s always to blame. Next time I’ll vote for the other person.” I recognized this cycle when I was like. 13.

And now we have a unique chance to have a Democratic president, a democratic congress, and a democratic supreme court and the GOP is trying to block that by cramming a square peg into a round hole at the last possible moment.

So I ABSOLUTELY support Biden packing the court in order to counteract this blockade from the Republicans. My hope is that if this happens, and democrats control the executive and legislative branches with the SC leaning left, things will get done. It’s also my hope that the corrupt Republican party will either disband due to their lies being exposed or (more likely and a much more pleasant thought) they’ll all die of old age and take their corruption to hell with them.

Either way, the party that exists right now will no longer be around to retaliate. If Biden is elected and good things get done (healthcare reform especially) he will probably be elected for another four years. (or he’ll die ‘cuz he’s old, too, and we’ll have Harris.) 

Best case scenario, we get 8 years of Democratic control, during which the Republican Old Guard dies off, and we get a sort of reboot on our national politics, wherein we can finally start to move forward.

Worst case scenario (and something I am very wary of, despite the “hope” and “positivity” in this post) is that EVERYONE is fucking corrupt and we’re all doomed anyway. But honestly, I’m willing to try before everything burns down.

...

my god, more shit happened after I wrote this yesterday. Shit about GOP mail tampering and insight into “hoping people die” under the read more:

The Post Office Is Okay Now! 

Remember how I was like “the GOP doesn’t ACTUALLY think they can do this shit, but it’s currently not SPECIFICALLY FORBIDDEN which means they’ll do it anyway and let the courts sort it out” and that was while the government was removing and destroying mail boxes and sorting machines and shutting down branches.

I said “the courts will tell them they can’t do this but by the time they get around to making an extremely critical decision that they have to make RIGHT NOW, it’ll be too late.”

Now that mail-in voting has started, the courts are telling the GOP that they can’t do what they’ve already done, and that they have to put the sorting machines back. Unfortunately, the GOP didn’t keep the sorting machines pending a decision by the supreme court, meaning new machines have to be bought, delivered, and assembled before they can be used. :) Which won’t happen until after the election. :) 

Same thing is happening with the illegal ballot boxes in California right now. The GOP know they’re not allowed to do it. They’re not naïve. But by the time the supreme court comes to a decision, the election will be over. 

It’s all about the delay. They use the delay to get away with shit, because no one can go back in time to fix what they fucked up. We can only move forward. 

On Hoping People Die

This is a moral dilemma that I find most people don’t understand. 

Wishing death on someone because they were mean to you is kinda shitty. Probably don’t do that.

Realizing that one of the only likely ways a demagogue will be removed from office without causing even more deaths on top of the deaths he’s already caused; realizing that the election won’t necessarily end his presidency because he’s fucking with the constitution; realizing that there is literally no way he can pay for his crimes as a living entity in this world; realizing that the Powers That Be will PROBABLY pardon him even if he IS indicted and he’ll literally see no consequences from his terrible, murderous actions; realizing this man will never even TRY to identify and work for people who ‘don’t like him’; realizing that the only acceptable conclusion to this travesty of an era is for a man to die...

That’s very different.

I know your parents told you “never wish death on someone,” but what they were trying to teach you is that you personally shouldn’t think about murdering someone who said your shirt is ugly. 

Hoping someone gets the proper comeuppance for all the harm they’ve done in the only way he can possibly understand is just logical.

[louthestarspeaker]

Wheelhouse

Here is my first contribution to @gumnut-logic ‘s wonderful IR Relief challenge. I combined the prompts “John and Penny being close friends (bonus if there’s a suspicious Gordon in the background)” from @eos-in-orbit and “Any characters – trapped in a lift/elevator” from @darkestwolfx . 

Summery: John steps up to the plate and out of his comfort zone when he offers to go to attend a meeting in Scott’s place. He’s hoping for a simple straightforward evening, but when is anything ever that easy?

John fiddled with the cufflinks on his suit sleeves. Should he not have worn them? It felt like he was being too formal. He should have asked for another second opinion besides Grandma- she always liked to see him and his brothers all dressed up.  

John was standing in the lobby of a fancy hotel in London, the chosen site for a business transaction between Tracy Industries and a potential partner, waiting by the door for Lady Penelope, who was to help him negotiate.

FAB1 rolled up in front of the hotel, the bright pink in sharp contrast with the stormy weather around it. Parker hurried around to open the door for Penny, holding an umbrella above her head until she was safely under the awning, before heading back to park, valet’s not to be employed for obvious reasons.

John smiled as Penny entered, wearing a cream colored pantsuit and long pink overcoat, her eyes widened in surprise as she caught sight of John. It’d been quite some time since they’d seen each other in person. 

“John! Oh, I’d hug you but I’m soaked. Umbrella’s can’t do much in that wind, I’m afraid.” 

John reached forward for a quick hug anyway. “It’s just water. Besides, it’s nice to have a little weather after coming down from the office.” 

Penelope shook her head. “Speaking of ‘the office’, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not delighted, but wasn’t Scott supposed to be coming?”

John smiled ruefully. “He’s had a bad day, I’m filling in for him.”

“Oh dear, he’s not hurt, is he?”

“No, he’s alright. But you can hardly expect him to play the part of the billionaire business tycoon after spending most of the day rescuing Lemaire.”

Penny hummed in understanding. “Hits a bit too close to home, does it?” 

She laughed at John’s silent nod and flat look, hooking her arm through his and pulling him into a walk. “Trust me, darling, you’re nothing alike. Now we’d best be going, Parker said he’d meet us upstairs. It doesn’t reflect well to be late to your own party.”

“Hardly a party, Pen.” John muttered. Penny glanced up to see John eyeing the people eyeing them. A Tracy or a Creighton-Ward was enough to garner attention on their own, together they attracted the eyes of most everyone in the lobby.

Penny winced internally at John’s obvious discomfort. As much as she’d tried to pull him out of his shell, he still detested the attention. 

“You didn’t want to send Virgil instead?” She asked gently. “I know you don’t care for this sort of thing.”

John shrugged. “You know Virge. He’s more R&D.” 

Brokering a business deal was kind of out of his little brother’s wheelhouse. Out of John’s wheelhouse too actually. He was more the numbers guy, and the great thing about being the numbers guy was you could do it all remotely from your space station twenty-two thousand miles away, or from your private island that might as well be just as far. 

John sighed, finding himself pulling at his sleeves again. Scott really was better at all of this. Did Scott ever wear cufflinks?

“Stop that, John.”  

“Stop what?” He asked, jumping out of his head.

She eyed him with a look saying ‘you know exactly what’. “You’re brooding again.” 

“What? I don’t brood.” He said, hitting the call button for the elevator so he didn’t have to look her in the eyes. “I… ruminate.”

“Whatever you want to call it doesn’t change the fact you need to stop. You are more than capable of heading this meeting.”

John shook his head ruefully. “If you say so, Pen.”

“I do say so, and don’t even think of trying to argue with me, John Tracy.”

John let out a laugh at this bit. 

As if he’d ever stand a chance…  Penny was an excellent negotiator, a talent that served her well- and often-  in her line of work. And was one of the many reasons never to start an argument with her.

“Wouldn’t dream of of it, Pen-”

A loud clap of thunder interrupted him, and the lights buzzed before flickering off completely. Leaving the lobby, and it’s occupants, in the dark. 

“Well. This is rather unfortunate.”

Penn’s remark was one of many as the murmuring of the crowd rose in volume and temperament, many using language not nearly as polite as hers. One call rang above the others though, because it was downright panicked.

“My sister’s stuck in the elevator!”

It was a young man standing near them, alarm evident on his face. The manager rushed over, walking quickly but not running, trying to exhibit some control of the situation. “No cause to worry, sir. The elevator breaks have engaged, she’s in no danger.”

“No, you don’t understand, she’s claustrophobic, she’ll be having a panic attack!” The young man said, looking as if he was about to have a panic attack himself. John stepped in then, instinct driving him.

“Hey, take a breath, your sister will be fine.” John assured the young man. He turned to the manager. “Have someone call the fire department, in the meantime we’ll call the elevator. We can see how she’s doing.”

His instructions were carried out without complaint, even if the manager looked a bit put out to be ordered around in his own hotel. But he, like everyone else, recognized John’s seniority in the situation. He wasn’t only the camera-shy Tracy heir, after all. He was International Rescue.

The manager led the small party over to the receptionist desk, followed by no small amount of obvious eavesdroppers, to connect with the elevator phone.

“Hello, Emma, are you there?” The young man, James, asked, his voice shaky.

The empty silence meeting James’ question had John sending Penny a grim look. Silence on the comm lines was never a good sign.

“Emma? Are you there?” James’ voice had risen an octave, and still no answer.

The manager was sweating nervously, having given up all pretense of authority. “What- what do we do?”

John calculated quickly in his head. The fire department was sure to be delayed with the traffic and thunderstorm conditions to contend with, during which time Emma, in the best case scenario, couldn’t catch her breath, and in the worst case, was already passed out- which would slot her with a possible head injury as well. John shook his head. It was hardly a decision at all.

“Where did her elevator stop?”

“Between the third and fourth floors.” The manager supplied.

“Penny, have Parker meet us on the fourth floor.” 

`*`

Parker arrived quickly, toting the leather bag he deemed to be his ‘lucky kit’. Elevator doors were harder to pry open than the movies made them seem, but one well placed ice pick and an impressive round house from Lady Penelope had the door open in moments.

John readied himself for the trip down to the elevator car. As far as civvies went for performing rescues, evening wear probably had to be at the bottom of the list. John removed his jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves, and pocketed his cufflinks. 

He doubted he’d ever be able to wear the suit again after clambering down the oiled elevator cable, but he’d sure as heck try. Growing up in a Kansas farm house with four rowdy brothers meant he’d adopted his grandmother’s mentality of keeping nice things nice.

John wrapped his hands with strips of cloth- shredded dish towels, courtesy of the kitchen staff. It should help him grip the elevator cable. He stood at the elevator opening, eyeing the ten foot drop before turning back behind him.

“Are you coming, Lady Penelope?” The mission-like atmosphere of the situation had him switching to her professional title.

She shook her head. “Three’s a crowd, darling. I’ll wait here with James.”

John nodded in understanding. Best not to overwhelm Emma with too many people, and her brother seemed to be only just keeping himself from tipping over the edge into hysterics- he could do with Lady Penelope’s calming presence.

With a calculated leap, John jumped into the elevator shaft. He met the cable full on and clutched it tightly- reminded oddly of the rope climbing exercises in a high school gym class. His make-shift hand wraps did their job and John was able to climb down without  too much slipping. He unwrapped his hands from the now shredded material, called a quick okay to Lady Penelope upstairs, then dropped down through the top emergency hatch, landing neatly in the elevator car.

Flicking on a penlight, he illuminated the small space, taking stock of the situation.. Emma stood on shaky legs, slumped against the wall, fingers clutching the silver rail that ran along the length of the car in a white knuckled grip. She was wheezing desperately, and swaying on her feet, but still conscious- always a good thing.

John approached her slowly, not wanting to frighten her further. “Emma? You’re brother sent me. I’m International Rescue. I’m here to help.”

Her eyes darted wildly around at the walls surrounding her, before making contact with John’s. “I c-can’t… can’t breathe-”

“It’s gonna be alright. I’m John, I’m going to stay with you until the fire department comes.” John gently pried her fingers away from the rail and took her elbow,  leading her away from the wall and seating her in the middle of the floor.

John crouched down in front of her, meeting her eyes and directing her to cup her hands around her nose and mouth. “Now breathe in deeply from your stomach. Hold. Breathe out.”

It only took a few repetitions before John admitted to himself it wasn’t working. Emma kept breaking eye contact, and every time her eyes drifted to the walls she choked.

“It’s alright.” John soothed again as it happened for the third time. “Let’s try something different. Close your eyes.” If Emma couldn’t see the walls, perhaps he could convince her she wasn’t trapped. “Now, you’re not here anymore, you’re watching the sky. The sun is setting over the ocean.”

John channeled his inner Virgil, describing an island sunset in bursts of crimson and gold, waves reflecting warm sunlight before soft pink fades into the deep indigo of night time. Silver light pricks the sky, the stars revealed in swirling constellations, like fragments of the sun. The stars go on forever.

“And there’s a breeze coming off the ocean.” John said. “Match your breath. In… and out. In… and out.”

Minutes blended as John kept up the soothing narrative, his words smoothing Emma’s wheezing gasps into even breaths. Quite soon, help arrived, signaled by a thump from the ceiling, and things began to move in quick succession.

A firefighter dropped through the hatch like John had, checking they were both alright before fitting them with harnesses and winching them up one by one. As John was pulled up out of the elevator shaft he was greeted by- not a familiar face, but a recognizable one. After all, the news reports had been notoriously hard to avoid after she and Virgil decapitated the world's largest building.

“Chief McCready.”

The chief grinned and nodded, clasping John’s hand and hauling him onto solid ground. “Tracy.” A familiar name paired with a new face. “And here I thought you boys chased after trouble, but it looks like it might be the other way around.”

John’s civilian clothes, oil smeared and wrinkled, were a dead give-away he hadn’t been expecting this particular mission. He could see Grandma now, shaking her head and clicking her tongue, amazed at all the ways him and his brothers managed to ruin clothes, but not at all surprised that they did.

He allowed himself a small smile. “The job follows you around.” On duty or not, the calls never went unanswered.

The Chief clapped him on the shoulder, understanding the sentiment in a way only a first responder really could. “That it does.”

Their conversation was brief, the Chief dragged away by her duties and John by an overwhelmingly grateful Emma and James, both of which hugged him tightly and thanked him profusely.

When John finally had a moment to catch his breath, he caught Penny watching him, a hint of humor in her eyes.

“What?” He asked, her levity in his tone.

“Nothing at all. It’s just I can hardly believe this is who the tabloids call the ‘reclusive elite’.”

There was a brief moment of confusion before John realized with a start just how many eyes were on him. A whole crowd of obvious rubberneckers, both indiscreetly peeking at him and gaping unashamedly. And all John could do was laugh.

What could he say? He’d talked down an emergency victim, spoken with site officials, and was now standing there in filthy clothing post-rescue. He was in his element.

[claytonsarah1990]

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[egoiistas]

may i feel, said he (19)

first | tag | ao3 | ffn 

[co-written with @tsaritsa]

a/n: mmmm that was a long break wasn’t it? let’s go ahead and jump in! there are some important notes on the ao3 author notes that you should totes check out! enjoy!

Warnings: Sexual Content ™, cursing, roy being cute af Words: ~8.5k || Rated: M - Royai 

Chapter Nineteen, in a minute

Summer arrives and officially, Riza is no longer his student.

Throughout the months, he’s tried to rationalize the pros and cons of jeopardizing her academic career from her perspective. A better grade? A decent fuck? Or a nice basket of both with a bow on top? His worst case scenario had always led him to the conclusion that if there was an ulterior motive, then she’d leave as soon as her grade was administered. If this was an elaborate, painstakingly cruel ruse, she would know him by now and have every advantage over him, forevermore holding this over his head because of a thoughtless impulse. She would know that he had unwittingly fought for what they shared, exposing himself freely, and that he’d never be the one to hold it over her. That cool façade in the beginning of the year had never collapsed so quickly and he would have fallen for the trap; hook, line and sinker.

Yet, his fears remain as unfounded as they ever were.

Time passes.

The newborn summer days swiftly turn into sweltering, humid weeks and in those weeks, he wakes with her at his side more mornings than not - passing by uneventfully, comfortable just existing in each other’s presence, finding solace indoors with air conditioning, lazily planning day trips to the countryside and never going.

Their heated, explosive start has transitioned into something that simmers comfortably now.  They’re turned into an average couple, falling asleep in the middle of movies or ignoring them altogether for a bit of naked reprieve, swapping one heat for another. The root of any of their short-lived arguments usually stemmed when either of them were hungry or tired or both. It’s bizarre to Roy how easy it is to just ...be.

During one idle afternoon, he wonders on the the microcosm of their relationship, built up in these walls. In some ways they had come to rely on the self-imposed rules, and moving beyond those parameters into something that resembles a normal relationship was going to come with its own set of challenges.

This is the one and only detail that simultaneously vexes and excites him when he thinks of Aerugo. The walls that constrained them would be knocked down now and they would free to roam around an island, holding hands if they so dared. And he would. But the real test in question was the structural integrity of their relationship on mostly neutral ground - with her and him finally as equals.

In the days before they embark, the photo of a time past resurfaces on the surface of his dresser. A younger him and another woman that he’s been trying his damnedest to forget, even jumping dangerous chasms to do so. He doesn’t exert much effort into deciphering it’s whereabouts or the delayed journey it took from his old box of mementos to finally arriving on his dresser. The why is not important in the wider scheme of things.

And as the day arrives that they set off for another country entirely, Maes reassurances him that her answer is still “no.”

With that response, he departs with a lighter weight on his shoulders that perhaps this trip can be just about a celebration between friends, family, and the sun. Perhaps he can aid her in lifting some of the weight off her own shoulders. Not forgetting, but enjoying herself as her own person and coming out forward for all that she’s been through in the years.

Already, he sees excitement beyond the surface of her eyes as she boards a plane with dissecting curiosity and hints of dread when the aircraft bumps. The window seat proves to be the optimal choice and her eyes hardly tear away from looking outside to the stretching landscape up until the vast ocean comes into view.

This restrained curiosity doesn’t change when they get on the ferry that’ll take them to their last stop. Immediately she’s drawn to the outside deck, eyes wide and bright as she drinks everything in. San Clavel shifts from a distant formation, to an outline, and then to a shimmering, bright beacon as the sun reaches its zenith.

Upon seeing the approach on the island, he checks the time on his phone and sees a message that should have been seen earlier. “We have… a slight problem.”

Completely and utterly enthralled since first sight with the ocean, Riza hesitates and rather reluctantly tears herself from the balcony edge of the ferry. She takes one last cursory glance, as if the azure water would disappear the instant she looked away, and a smile of endearment appears on his face.

She squints looking up at him with the sun in her eyes, her hand flat over her forehead to try to see. “What kind of problem?”

Roy takes off his sunglasses and places them on her face. He decides it’s best to rip the plaster off quickly here. “Well, there are some guests we weren’t - well, I wasn’t expecting that are showing up.”

“Oh.” He can’t see her eyes anymore because of the reflective glass, but her smile drops. “Is that so?”

“My mother,” Roy confesses. “And some of my sisters.”

“Your mother,” she parrots back monotonously. Her poker face is practically bullet-proof without the nuances of her eyes to clue him in. “Is that what you were worried about?”

“I- what?”

“I was half expecting you to tell me the trip was cancelled.” Riza slides her arm around his waist and leans against him, looking out across the water once more as the ferry begins to dock. “I can’t say I blame them for being curious. I know you said we would visit them next week but-”

To say he’s blindsided would be somewhat of an understatement. “Yeah, for a few hours, not days.” He can’t help the petulance that creeps into his voice. “The whole point of this trip was spending time with you. Preferably with us naked for hours on end.”

She snorts a little at that, tucking her head slightly against his chest to hide her face - the faint pink tips of her ears betray her regardless. “Yes, well, that too. But you’ve met my dad. It seems fair.”

“No offense but I feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick when it comes to meeting the in-laws.”

To her credit, Riza doesn’t outwardly react to his slip of the tongue beyond adjusting her posture - the hand that had been resting comfortably against his hip flexes. From his position, her ears are bright pink now. “A family who clearly think the world of you? That’s hardly grounds to say they’ll be terrible to the people you choose to introduce them to.” Her tone is a little too measured, but nonetheless she draws back to look at him better, her hand instinctively raising to push the hair from his eyes. There’s a bright, nervous smile on her face - one that he knows is reflected on his own as well.

“Though, maybe hold off on talk of in-laws until I get the chance to actually meet them for myself,” she teases. “I’m sure it won’t be as bad as what you’re imagining.”

Roy will swear until he’s black and blue that he kisses her to stop her teasing - but that’s not the truth, not entirely. Out of the two of them he’s most certainly the one who is more practiced in dealing with emotions, and certainly the more likely out of the two of them to wear his heart on his sleeve.

There was always an undercurrent of emotional attachment with any of the women he had slept with, regardless of whether the relationship was serious or merely fleeting. Riza was meant to firmly be in the latter camp, a terrible means to the end for the itch that begged to be scratched. Instead, he had taken her out for breakfast the morning after, and offered her an open invitation for more if she pleased. He has the tendency to take the mile when he’s only meant to have an inch, and in hindsight he was already in too invested in a hookup that should never have happened.

So, it is difficult to not apply the same logic here. He knows Riza well enough to know she’d have no problem in telling him if he were wrong, but the fact that she doesn’t even seem to hesitate at an off-cuff mention of a more distant future with him, and even goes so far as to tease him - Roy knows exactly why his heart is beating in triple time. He deepens the kiss and pulls her close to him; Riza makes a noise of contentment, curling her hands around his neck, fingers burying themselves in his hair.

Her nails scratch pleasantly against his scalp, and Roy hates himself for drawing back after a few blissful moments; even more so when Riza instinctively follows to close the gap. Her blush has abated somewhat, but her lips curve up into a secret smile, full of promises for later.

Instead, she contents herself with leaning back into his chest, rearranging his arms over her; he pulls her firmly against him and she hums in contentment,

“Why are you nervous about us meeting?” Riza asks after a moment. Her confidence in knowing the root of his anxiety is something he’d ordinarily want to pay greater attention to, but -

They’re a lot. Fiercely overprotective to a fault. I was selfish, and we’re dealing with those choices.

The truth is a little simpler than he wants to admit though. “There’s a right way about introducing you to all of them and this holiday wasn’t meant to be about that.”

“What’s the right way then?”

“With a bit more preparation.” He cranes his neck and checks his watch. “She just sent me a text that her plane comes in around four this afternoon.”

Riza twists to see his face, her mouth dropping comically open. “You’d better give me a summarized version then. Good thing I’m a quick study.” She pushes the sunglasses back, catching in her fringe.

He drops a kiss on her temple, guiding her back indoors. “It’ll have to be on the road once we pick up a car.”

When they finally disembark from the ferry with their luggage, Roy thinks they might have been blessed by the gods. In the terminal he can see no familiar faces and he feels himself relax. The company he’s ordered a taxi from on to take them to their lodgings is on the other side of the terminal and sweat is already glistening on his forearms from the heat of the midday sun. In his head, he begins conjuring an outline of how to breakdown who’s who and how to detangle the enormity of his unconventional family. It would take several hours to cover in its entirety and time is not his ally here.

“First things first,” he tells her as they move from the building into the forecourt, following painted yellow strips directing him towards the southern end of the terminal, “I call her my mother but she’s my aunt by blood. When I’m in trouble I’m Roy. When I’m really in trouble I’m boy. Otherwise I’m papito. She might pretend not to understand a lot of Amestrian, but it’s all lies. She just likes to be contrary and difficult because she can.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Anyway. For the most part we have a good relationship, but she’s never quite forgiven me for leaving Central. She…” he falters here, wondering if it is worth the pain to get this next piece of information out. “I think she took my and Greta’s breakup harder than anybody involved - myself included. She has a bad habit of not thinking before she speaks and I don’t want to put you-”

Riza’s hand covers his on the handle of his luggage and he slows to a halt, looking at her. “You’re very sweet, you know,” she tells him. “I know I haven’t been the most mature in regards to her but-”

“Hablando del rey de Roma.”

That coarse, near nasally call has always carried easily over crowds of people, and in the cavern-like forecourt, it bounces against the nearby walls and sunroof. He looks in the direction beyond Riza - the wrong one, because Chris’s manicured nails-cum-talons dig in sharply into the shell of his ear and pivots his entire body from where he stands to face her. From where she materialized is still unclear to Roy. His sisters titter and crowd around him unhelpfully. He hears several different sentences at once as he receives one hug after another. “You’re looking buff!” “No, he’s looking thin! Do you have eyes?” “You need a haircut!” “We’ve missed you!” “I’ve missed him most!”

Finally, the girls scatter when Chris swats them away and in the same carrying voices tells them, “All right, all right get back.” Her face is serious and grave as she looks at him. It’s that same intimidating face that lectured him when he did something stupid or dangerous or both. Roy  doesn’t say anything because he expects the signature arm cross, tapping foot, and demanding to know why hasn’t he called more often?

Instead her arms extend out and up as Roy takes half a step back. “Mi niiiiño!” she sings, an unmistakable happiness in her expression as she grabs his face and kisses each cheek. She hugs him tight and he returns it in kind, shelving the initial skepticism. “How I’ve missed you, papiiito.”

Then she shoves him back and crosses her arms. “Why haven’t you called, boy?”

Ah - there it is.

“I’ve been a little busy…” Not totally untrue, but somehow Roy doubts that will cut the mustard here. “But I should be calling more often.” He looks to the side and Riza, by some miracle, is still there and only a few steps away from him with their luggage. In fact, she has the strangest  grin plastered on her face. “But,” he continues, “since you’ve managed to get the drop on me…” Roy walks next to Riza who has suddenly changed in expression as he hugs her from the side. “This is Riza,” he says expectantly and after a moment of only faint chatter from the terminal, he adds. “My girlfriend.”

The girls look at each other and one by one he can see their lips curve upwards into coy smiles. They come closer, prowling like lionesses. The barrage of greetings begin with one at a time hugs and kisses as if handshakes were old fashioned.

“So you’re Elizabeth!” says Sofia.

Riza manages to turn her body to face Roy as she’s passed from one sister onto the next. “Elizabeth?”

“I gave you a code name.”

Her grin is knowing. “So they knew?”

“Some knew.”

“They knew?” Chris asks from the end of their man-made barrier of ladies. “Why is it then that I had to find out through other channels?” She glares between Sofia and Roy.

“Some knew,” Roy insists. “I couldn’t remember who I did and did not tell and you are all in deep shit for not warning me about this.” He inclines his head as subtly as he can in the direction of his mother.

“Roy. Please. You’ve kept Riza from us this entire time! Please, please we want to know everything.” Isabelle says.

Chris urges everyone to be prying banshees in an airconditioned car. It’s a welcome reprieve from the hot midday sun, although the subdued attitude of his mother is unexpected - and worrying.

As well as Sofia and Isabelle, Phoebe and Karina are also a part of the welcome wagon. They crowd around the two of them inside the car, waving off Riza’s protests about wearing seatbelts.

“He hasn’t told us anything about you, you know,” Isabelle laments, tying her long blonde hair into a high ponytail. “All I got told was he was seeing a very pretty woman and if I said anything to Mama we’d never get to meet you at all. So tell me everything - how did you two meet? What do you do? How long has this been going on?”

Riza giggles a little nervously at the onslaught. “Not a terribly exciting story, I’m afraid,” she begins. “I worked in the university library overnights and he would come in and make a mess of the private study spaces. We got to talking after a while and…” she gestures to the scant space between them, “Here we are.”

The disappointment from his sisters is hilarious: they seemingly deflate back into their respective seats, shoulders dropping.

“To be honest though, Roy hasn’t told me much about you guys either. He’s told me your names but it would be nice to finally put faces to them as well.”

It’s a good distraction from the other questions posed - an excellent one, actually; as Riza slowly makes her way through this small fraction of his family. His mother remains quiet, seemingly happy to watch the events unfolding with a curious eye. He lets his mind drift, gaze sliding to the view outside which shifts from the town centre to higher up, wide expanses of yellow-white sandstone spotted into the lush green hills. He fiddles with her hand in his own, and when Karina catches his eye with a knowing smile it’s hard not to beam in response.

The trip goes quicker than expected, much to his relief, but the girls won’t take ‘no’ for an answer when it comes to showing Riza the villa they’ll be staying at with Chris before letting them disappear for the afternoon.

“We’ve had a long trip from East City-” he tries.

Phoebe shoots him a withering look. “We’ve had a long trip from Central too,” she reminds him none-too-gently. “Honestly, when’s the next time you’re going to come around, let alone with Riza in tow? Last time you didn’t even bother to let us know you were in town! You owe us.”

He doesn’t have much of an argument against that, and from her new position being volleyed between his sisters, Riza nods in deferment. She winks at him from across the room, mouthing something he can’t quite make out. He moves to join them; they’ve taken her out to one of the balconies and are pointing out different parts of the island but from behind him -

“Boy,” Chris calls.

Heart sinking, Roy stops in his tracks, and dutifully makes his way back to where his mother sits, overlooking the bay. “Watch her,” he signals to his sisters, and Karina’s fingers flutter in dutiful acquiescence.

With the sun favoring the other side, there are more shadows in the parlor he’s beckoned to. The motherly air to her has vanished and her face is serious. Lips are thinned, her brow entertains no amusement and a hand on her lap and the other propped on the high table she sits next to, expectantly. A seat isn’t offered to him; instead, she nods to the door to make this conversation more private and he complies. It shuts with a soft click and the sounds of excited conversation become muffled and indistinct.

Chris is quiet. He imagines she’s choosing her words, perhaps even predicting his own, and if pensive could be deadly, then she might be the only one in the world who has mastered it. She shifts in her seat, crossing one foot over the other, and her fingers rest on her many rings, twisting them over and over. Until, finally, she takes in a drawn breath.

“What are you thinking?” She asks him. Each word is enunciated and calculated in a low and gravelly tone;  a night and day difference from her earlier greeting.

“Well.” He chuckles bitterly. “I’m thinking it’s been a long trip. The weather, the sun, the beach is gorgeous.” He walks towards her and she is unflinching in following his movements. “You’re looking well and the girls look well too.”

“Don’t you play coy with me. You know what I’m talking about, bringing her around here.”

He pulls the accompanying chair out from the table and takes a seat. At this level, the light shifts out of her eyes as if to perpetuate the gravitas of the situation on her behalf. “I’d prefer if you didn’t refer to my plus one like she was a disease. She’s here at my behest, as well as Maes’ and Gracia’s.”

Her only answer is a half-chuckle that sounds somewhere between a hah and a hmph. “My boy, you can prefer, refer, request whatever you want.”

“Then, what’s the problem here?”

“She’s twenty-one, Roy.”

His eyes close as he sighs. His fingers slowly ball into a fist.

“Did it ever occur to you how’d that look? Que va decir la gente? Or rather, what are they already saying? ‘He went off and got someone younger.’” She scoffs, rolling her shoulders back. “I’ve raised you better than that. Think of the example you’re putting on for the girls.”

“It’s more than that, believe me.”

“Ah, si?” She is mocking, sarcastic. She’s daring him to prove her wrong. And she is wrong - he knows this emotionally, more so than anyone else in this room. But no matter which way he would spin it to her, it would still sound the same to her: appearances are everything at home. “How selfish. Ask yourself what your reaction would be if the girls came home with an older man?”

He meets her hard gaze in equal strength. “If you’re wanting to lecture me you can do it another day, I’m not in the mood for it now.”

“No, now is the time since you decided to cut us out from your life when you moved. You are never around anymore and quite frankly I don’t know much of you since you left.” She is measured, near hissing. “Stop thinking with your dick for once, pendejo, and use that brain of yours-”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. His heart rate elevates; he feels it in the constriction of his throat. “Ya, okay?” He swallows the simmering emotion, the telltale prick of budding tears. “I have told you time and time again - endlessly - about why things didn’t work out before.”

“You’ve given me crumbs,” she says unsympathetically. “While she’s given me entire loaves, crying at my doorstep, hoping you would be reasoned with.”

Sighing, he says, “Why can’t you come to terms with this? Respect this decision that was made years ago? Or at the very least, have trust in me that what I have to say has more to do with the truth than whatever fabrications she’s feeding you?

“I’ve told you that relationship was toxic and brought out the worst parts of me. What will it take for you to understand?”

Chris thinks for a moment and it gives Roy the opportunity to release tense muscles that were winding themselves up again from the conversation. “Did you bring her because she’s pregnant?”

A hand runs down his face and mentally he apologises to Riza. “No.”

She hums, intrigued. “Do you love her?”

Yes.

The letters pop in his head; glowing, neon letters illuminating in his mind’s eye. He does not say it. His lips curl in to stop them from giving away the smile at the thought of Riza and love and the warmth that suddenly radiates in his chest. Pensive, he tries not to give any facial cues but his mother knows him far too well and she sighs, letting a hand fall to the table.

“How?” Chris asks, almost exasperated. “Where-” And then that word chokes and dies in her throat because it dawns on her immediately, because Chris Mustang is smart and sharp and where else would he find a woman of Riza’s age to be around him long enough to catch feelings? The color drains from her face watching him as he processes his own revelation - because the only thing more scandalous than this is if she was pregnant. “You were always so, so smart, but also so, so incredibly dumb sometimes, mi amor.

“You are toying with more than just your life here, but permanently with hers.” She gets up from her seat and her words are somber. “Make sure it’s worth it.”

He’s left in the parlor by himself, to his own thoughts; knuckles to his mouth.

The subject of his thoughts enters the room and softly crosses to where he sits. He perks up in his seat and his heart skips a beat. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she greets him; her brows dipped in concern and she takes a seat in Chris’s chair. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” It’s a terrible attempt but she humours him nonetheless.

“Because you’re just sitting in here by yourself.”

“I just needed a moment of silence after being ambushed.”

She quickly moves out of her seat. “I can go if-”

Roy grabs her hand to stop her. “Don’t be silly,” he says softly.

She nods, slowly settling back in the chair - hands connected over the table. “What did you two talk about?” she presses after a moment, when he falls silent once more.

“Oh,” he says, stopping the circles he was rubbing on the back of her hand. “She was ripping me a new one for not introducing you earlier, for not calling.”

“What an awful son,” she teases. “And an awful brother from what your sisters were telling me.”

“I should probably go talk to them.”

Riza makes a face. “Actually… I came in here only because they were going to head into town for some food to keep in the house. They figured we would want to get settled first. I may have strongly suggested it. Karina was kind enough to back me up.”

“That’s right. You haven’t even seen the inside of where we’re staying, have you?”

“No, but I imagine it’s like any house with four walls and with rooms.”

He smiles knowingly, standing from his seat and an extending a hand for him to lead her. “Let me show you why I like to leave Amestris.”

With a slight hint of confusion, she takes it. After some quick goodbyes from his sisters - Chris is notably absent - they walk in comfortable silence to just a few houses down where the ocean waves hitting the shores becomes a little bit more audible.

Roy unlocks the door for her and her eyes widen as she takes in a breath.

Riza darts inside, taking quick strides between the rooms, jerking her head back towards where he stands, half-questions-half-incredulous-noises leaving her mouth in a garbled mess.

Yes, Roy splurged this time - but how could he not? There is something intensely satisfying about being able to elicit a reaction like the one she is giving him, to enjoy how she enjoys it. By the standards of his peers this villa might not be the fanciest, nor the most kitted-out, but Roy knows Riza doesn’t care about outward appearances. He chose it for the age and history of the stone walls, for the way it overlooks a portion of the island, and yet remains tucked away from the other villas in the area.

After he moves the luggage into the master bedroom, he asks into the house: “Just four walls with rooms, is it?” When he doesn’t receive a response, he finds her in a sun-filled study on the second floor, skimming through the book spines on the bookshelves.

Her mouth is slightly ajar. “You’re quite the schemer, aren’t you?”

Roy leans on the doorframe, arms crossed and feeling triumphant in his choice. “I’d prefer the word charmer.”

A reluctant grin appears on her face as she turns back to him. “You keep this up and I’ll be effectively spoiled. Surely, you understand that.” Her grin is infectious.

“Then my plan is working.”

She chuckles, shaking her head at him, and that tension from before simply evaporates. “So, schemer-charmer, what’s the itinerary for the day?” She absent-mindedly asks flipping through a book.

“Itinerary? That sounds so severe.” Roy pushes himself off from the door frame; overjoyed when she follows behind him as he opens the windowed white doors to the master bedroom’s balcony.

“You know what I mean…” She trails off and Roy feels his breath leave him from the view too. It truly is stunning - from the ocean to the lush green of the trees, the yellow-white sandstone fortifications bisecting the island cleanly in two. East City had its charms, but San Clavel was a blatant seduction by comparison.

Roy points out, “Now you can ignore me to look at the ocean from here.”

“Stop,” Riza warns playfully, darting her eyes between the ocean and him. “It’s not my fault I’m not well-travelled.” She stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss him - briefly, he supposes, from the way her hands rest only lightly on his chest. But her lips on his creates a tide of emotions Roy doesn’t anticipate. Hands on her hips, he pulls her flush to him, thrilling in the way she grinslaughs against his mouth, relishing in the contended hums from her throat. He is content to be, like this. Truly. Hours could pass, or even days - and yet how he is right now, a little sweaty and overheated, is where he wants to be.

One of his hands slides down over the curve of her arse, inadvertently hiking up the flimsy material of her sundress. His wandering fingers move too lightly against her skin, and she gasps, body instinctively moving away from the ticklish sensation.

She mouths against him “one minute” before ducking into the bathroom and door quietly shutting behind her.

Roy turns back to the balcony and walks out onto it proper, inhaling the sea breeze. The red carnations that dance around the sandstone pillars of the villa greet him as he steps outside. He’s missed this terribly, too. The temperature straddles a certain perfection of warmth with just enough wind to roll off the heat from lingering on his skin. In the distance, the ocean shifts below him, a mesmerising blue that softly crests until it blankets the alabaster coast; its surface is broken into fractals of light from the late afternoon sun, reflecting lazily like pieces of jewels over the water. The view is a welcoming sight and something about it breathes sunshine into his soul.

Years have elapsed since his last visit, and yet, San Clavel seems timeless; untouched by modern architecture common in Amestris and locked in a perpetual season of summer.

The air, the view, and the entire island may have remained static, but change was now a certainty for him. He looks out to the sea now with a different mindset altogether than even just hours before. He is far from the formative years of his youth, and the time he had spent here previously, saturated in alcohol, smoking Clavileño cigars, drunk on overconfidence and basking in his immaturity. Though, now he’s not so sure how much of that has changed.

“Interesting.” He hears behind him. “I can’t tell if you’re brooding or just enamored with the sight.”

A quick smile appears on his face as Riza rests her hands over the stone balustrade. There must’ve been a witty response to her tease but blown away by the wind when he manages to drink in the sight of her in the sundress. From where she stands, the midday sun hits her from behind, encasing her in a halo that filters drown from her hair into the soft white of her dress. There’s still a ghost of a grin on her face, and he’s tempted to bridge that space between them once more to kiss her, to see if the sheer warmth she’s radiating might transfer to him, even if only a little.

If he thought the sunlight on the water was mesmerizing, then the sunlight on her - the sunlight was made for her.

Her hair glows golden as it sways and brushes her pale skin. She puts a hand up to her face to stop her hair from flowing wildly with a squint in one eye.  The white dress hugs all the right places and somehow an ethereal aura surrounds her.  Roy composes himself, collecting his slightly ajar jaw, and eyes her up and down. “Well, enamored by the sight now.”

She grins at his response. “It’s beautiful out here,” she says finally. “Thank you for bringing me.”

Roy inclines his head in acknowledgement, his fingers drifting over hers; as if on instinct, her hand flips over to meet his, palm to palm. It’s a simple enough gesture, borne from repetition as much as affection. It tugs at his heart in a pleasant way. Tucked away in her words isn’t an I’m sorry, not quite - but an acknowledgement that goes beyond just saying thank you.

“You are very welcome,” he begins, shifting his weight to rest against the balustrade fully, pulling Riza into his space a little more. “This would be nowhere near as fun if you didn’t come.”

Her hands slide up his forearms, over his shoulders and curl loosely around his neck. She smells faintly like his soap and blinks demurely under dark lashes. “You take pleasure in me gawking at things, do you?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Riza flushes visibly, immediately. There’s an attempt to push away from lightly but he holds her in place and she stays. “All this natural beauty and instead you’d be a slave to your phone, waiting desperately for me wake up.”

“I would be,” he tells her, enjoying how his honesty throws her for a moment. It is the truth. He would’ve still attended - Maes would have had his guts for garters otherwise - but at best he would only stay for a few days, and certainly not make a meal out of this trip, surprise family be damned.

“I’d be very demanding, you know,” Riza tells him matter-of-factly, tongue poking out to wet her lips briefly. “Video calls as soon as I wake up. A million souvenirs. That sort of thing.”

“If that’s your idea of demanding, how about a quick refresher?” Her eyebrow lifts momentarily, urging him to go on. “You storming into my office about a grade? Now that was demanding.”

Scandalized, she says “If I can recall correctly - and I do - there were ulterior motives for that changed grade. It was well warranted given the circumstances.”

Roy adjusts his hands on her hips, the thin material of her sundress rising a little once more as he brings her closer to him. He officially loves this dress. A finger lifts her chin. “I beg to disagree, avecilla. Not that I don’t appreciate the fact that we’re on the same page nine times out of ten, but I’d be a little disappointed if all you asked for was a call. In fact...” He pushes himself up from the balustrade. Riza cranes her neck a little to continue meeting his eyes. It’s perfect for what he wants - his hands leave her hips, and instead cup her jaw fully, thumbs resting against her cheekbones.

Deliberately, he kisses her temple, and then the other. Her eyelids follow, then her cheeks. He intentionally ignores her lips, barely grazing against them as he opts to leave soft, unhurried kisses against every part of her face bar her mouth. Her fingers twist themselves against the shirt he’s wearing.

“You’re mean,” she tells him breathlessly, brown eyes fluttering open after a kiss that skirts the edge of her cupid’s bow. “You never mentioned what’s going on today.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

“A dinner. Nothing important.” With his mouth brushing against the edge of her lips, he says, “It’s basically tradition to be late to these things anyway.”

“I think you’re lying-” she responds, nearly cut off as he takes her lips onto his own. She tastes sweet as she always has, but the sound from her throat hints at something more mischievous. Any items on any itinerary ever is eviscerated by what is in front of him: Riza, his Riza, in a sundress and slowly eroding what sensibilities he still has left.

“Mi reina… you wound me. I would never,” he answers coyly. The aftershocks of their kiss still thrums on his lips. He feels electric, fizzing with the knowledge - the freedom - that he could have her here, that he could potentially love her here as her fingers grasps his shirt and she gasps over his fingers. She would let him, he thinks, with the way her lips seem to brush against him with the lightest of pressure, barely enough to feel but more than enough to tease. It’s beyond tempting to give into that baser desire, to have her as he wants her; but here he stills, thumbs drifting over her now-flushed skin.

He can feel the words on his lips, waiting to be said. There’s simply so much he wants to say to her, to tell her, divulge in her, that words fail him here. He hasn’t the faintest clue of where to even begin.

“Mi reina?” Riza asks, a flirtatious smile curling her lips upwards. “I guess that would make you ‘my king’, no?” She chews the inside of her lip, thinking. “Mi…”

“Rey.” He finishes for her. He doesn’t usually have a possessive streak a mile wide but for this nickname, Roy might make an exception.

“Quite a promotion you’ve been given, sir.”

Roy chuckles darkly - a reminder that she knows him well too. He tilts her head back slightly, enjoying how her eyes flit between his gaze and his mouth rapidly. “I think it’s deserved. An upgrade from the previous one you gave me.”

Riza swallows, focusing on something beyond his face. “The ones that I..?”

He tilts his own head to the side, to her exposed skin and in between kisses on her neck he tells her, “Back in East City. With your father.”

Understanding crests over her face. “Was I wrong?”

He pulls his head back. “No.”

“Because I happen to like that one,” she tells him, drawing back from his grip after a moment. “Still feels weird saying it though.”

“Then practice.”

Riza’s reply is shot out automatically with only a lick of her lips to prime it. “Make me.”

“Make you?”

She tightens the grip on his shirt, pulling him closer to repeat herself in his ear. “Make me, sir.”

Static screeches in his brain for a moment and he looks at her, amused, and she, so daring as she dons the smallest smirk on her face. “I think you and I both know I can make you say many things.” He breathes out through his nose, slow and deliberate.

“That was then.” She bites her lower lips. “This is now. In a completely different country.”  

“Is that right?” A brow flits up in her small act of defiance. His gaze drifts down to the thin straps straps of her dress and looks back at her; blood pounding in his ears. Riza takes a cursory step back and he steps forward. She seems to understand, quick study that she is. Wordlessly, he begins to unbutton his shirt and she never takes her eyes off him as she walks backwards towards the bed. She stumbles a little when her calves hit the edge of the mattress, releasing a tiny gasp, and he takes this opportunistic moment of her distraction to coax her onto the bed.

She moves deeper into the bed on her elbows to give him space to join her, and he does as his belt hits the floor.  

There is something deep and dark about how he likes her like this. Riza doesn’t show lust in an overt way: flushed skin, lips a brighter shade of pink, almost entranced when she sees what she wants... or perhaps it is him that’s been entranced by this very look the entire time. One loose strand of hair curls over her shoulder - perhaps by design - and Roy leans in to hungrily kiss her, situated in between her legs; hands roaming up her legs and he feels the goosebumps rise on her skin, under his fingertips. His kisses consume her, drinking greedily from her like a man dying from thirst. The straps of her sundress are pushed to the side as his hands shift up to her neck, thumbs splaying across her pulse point. She’s breathing hard when he pulls back.

“Take it off,” he orders quietly. To elicit a quicker response, his hand dips in between her legs, ghosting over the fabric of her smallclothes. Without needing to ask twice, she sits up and they both work to get the sundress over her head and he helps in freeing her of her bra.

Riza lies back down and is a sight against the sheets. Creamy thighs beckon to him like a ship to wreck, but instead he lets his fingers drift along her torso, up over the bones of her sternum and collarbone. He studies the edges of jawline, committing it to memory, before tracing the outline of her lips with his index finger. She trembles underneath his touch, and whimpers when his other hand slips under her underwear, slipping into slick folds. His fingers are coated in her sex with a single stroke. “Excited, are we?”

“I love a good menacing walk towards me,” she jests, grinning and arching her back as he toys with her.

“Tell me what you want, avecilla,” he murmurs against her lips, barely exerting pressure.

“That would be too easy, sir,” she manages between sighs. Her fingers fumble over the button of his trousers and he takes satisfaction in the fact that he’s reduced her to this state: hips gyrating in the hopes of some change in tension. She brings her palm to her forehead, mouth open and gasping.

His hand pulls back from her completely.

Riza opens her eyes in curiosity, concern or both and his fingers tug at the edge of her underwear. Her hips move up carefully to help him remove them: first through one leg and then on the other, he holds her leg as he glides it off her, kissing her calf gently.

“You have to tell me what you want. I could have you on your back and fuck you so slowly you’ll be begging me to let you come. Or should I eat you out instead, or fuck you so hard into the bed that everyone at dinner will know exactly what you’ve been doing and not just because you’ll be walking funny? Or if you really want, do all of the above and not recover until tomorrow?”

His fingers place her leg down with delicate care next to him. “But until then, we won’t start.”  

“Fuck you,” she manages in a sigh.

“Clearly. But how?” He moves in closer to her again and she watches him inch closer to her face. He closes his eyes, mouth hovering over her lips just so that they brush against each other as he speaks again, softer this time. At this distance he can feel the heat of her skin under his. “Avecilla, you have to tell your boyfriend how you want him to fuck -  you.”

-------

They finally arrive when the sun is melting into the ocean; its bright orange remnants are painted across the sea and gives everything else a deep red-orange hue.

Roy takes a moment to survey the view before him. Aerugo on a good day really didn’t disappoint, and San Clavel was certainly no exception to that rule. Despite the earlier heat of the day, it was getting cooler now and out of instinct he pulls Riza closer when she rubs her arm from a wandering breeze that passes through.

Riza hums in gratitude, casting a quick complementary glance at him, before she’s pulled back again to admiring the venue. It’s a converted battlement: the familiar white sandstone forms a parapet overlooking the eastern side of the bay, before dropping down into a garden seemingly overgrown with roses in every shade and hue of red. Beyond is where most of the party guests are congregating, on a raised terrace that hugs a large hall. The exterior is covered in dark green ivy, looking classically timeless rather than unruly.

Strings of fairy lights guide them towards the center of the terrace with a view of the sea, no doubt intending to create a glowing effect when the day’s light was finally extinguished. Soft, instrumental music plays from a quartet tucked away somewhere - a vast change from the stereo system and an mp3 player playlist manned by one of the cousins - behind round tables topped with plates and silverware and intricate flower arrangements for centerpieces. They are decorated with pristine white cloths that blow lightly with the breeze and the chatter around is light and pleasant.

Riza shivers again and she scoffs. “I think I underestimated how cool it would get.”

“Do you want me to go back for your cardigan?”

“No, don’t be silly. You can’t leave me alone with these people.” She points an index finger at him. “Not again.”

“They’re not so bad.”

She looks away with a noise that neither affirms of contradicts his statement. Roy grabs her hands, looking down at her with a smile. “I can understand that you’re anxious, but I’d also like this to be for us. It’s not every day we can do this without looking behind our backs and I have to say, I’m a little excited for it.”

Riza looks down to where he’s rubbing circles over the back of her hand and she laces her fingers with his, squeezing. “You’ve been giving this a lot of thought?”

“Have you not?”

She grins and turns away slightly like she does when she’s been caught red-handed. “It might’ve crossed my mind once or twice, yes.”

He smiles back at her and nods over to the bar set up from a market stand. “Then why don’t you go get yourself something? If not for the nerves but to help with warming you up.”

Her eyes narrow suspiciously. “You’re being awfully thoughtful today.”

“As if I’m ever not.” He pivots her shoulders as she cracks a laugh and he waves her on.

She hesitates for a moment, turning her head back towards him. “What do you want?”

He takes pleasure in making a meal out of admiring her; the affected way her gait has changed for the moment more than anything else. As if she could read his mind, Riza blushes a deep red. “Surprise me,” he tells her finally.

Roy watches as she disappears into the small crowd. It’s later than the start time but true to fashion, people are still trickling in. Some greet him with a courteous hug and a kiss on the cheek but thankfully, no one stays for a proper conversation as they make their way to the stars of this whole event.

Maes and Gracia stand near the parapet with a group of people around them. They are positively glowing in spite of the backdrop of the deepening sunset. Elicia is the most entertaining part of that picture, however - for every kiss and hug that’s transferred between the adults above her, Roy watches as she demands her own set. Maes is dutiful to the point of smothering, and her squeals of protest about his scratchy beard carry far over the gardens.

It’s a far cry from the family he knew three years ago, and he couldn’t be prouder of them for what they’ve endured and risen up from. He’d never tell the two of them out loud for fear of Maes’ ego never recovering to a normal size, but if he could get something even close to what they had found in each other, he’d consider himself lucky; amongst valued peers and someone to share successes and trials with.

Part of him thinks he may have found it; a smaller part of him whispers that he’s been wrong before. He’s even less sure about how to even approach the topic with her: they haven’t discussed it in any serious capacity and he’s loathe to bring it up in a space where she isn’t on equal footing with him.

The conversation with his mother from earlier floats to the forefront of his mind.

Large, neon-colored letters. Yes.

Maybe he was overthinking it. Maybe it really was that simple.

Behind him, he can hear approaching footsteps and the warmth in his chest reemerges as her hands wrap around his torso. Contently, teasingly, he says, “I thought you were going to bring me a surprise.” His last word is tapers off in emotion and volume as he notices the contrasting difference in skin tone on the arms around him. The breeze picks up once more, carrying a fragrance from a guiltier time. The warmth ices and turns into a quick-drop feeling of dread from his throat to his gut.

She doesn’t resist when he jerks himself out of the embrace, but her dark eyes are still locked on him, amused. Hand on her hip, she stands there in a red dress complimenting her deep, sun-kissed skin and dark loose ringlets of hair; the matching blood-red lips curl up into a self-satisfied smirk.

Greta sighs dramatically. “I am the surprise.”

next

[iffeelscouldkill]

The big picture

A/N: WHAT’S UP GUYS I’M BACK AND I WROTE A FIC. 

Not the steadily growing WIP that I’ve been talking about for weeks (that’s still ongoing) - this one is a companion fic to That’s why we do what we do because I was listening to Episode 10 and suddenly I needed to write Park’s perspective. And then of course it grew out of control and I wound up taking like a week and a half to finish it xD

This fic contains spoilers for TSCOSI Episode 10. I feel like it’s been long enough now that I don’t need to put the whole thing behind a cut, but still, spoilers!

Warning that this fic also deals with the fate of Team Two in a little bit of detail - not graphic detail, but it tells that scene from Park’s perspective, so heads up for sort-of-offscreen character deaths and the emotional impact thereof.

Agent Park has one goal going into the Plan: keep McCabe safe.

Of course he also wants to help the crew of the Rumor, and ideally make it out alive himself (priorities in that order), but large parts of those two things are out of his control. This, on the other hand...

He remembers McCabe’s face when Major General Frederick came to take him away; the way they defended him without hesitation to the highest-ranking General they had ever met. So few members of the IGR rank and file, no matter how new or green, would dream of doing something like that. But McCabe is different, and always has been.

He makes sure that McCabe sticks close to him even as Goodman and Clark peel off to patrol the labs. McCabe doesn’t seem to find it unusual, falling back into their old roles of superior and subordinate with something like relief. McCabe was never a ladder-climber, as much as they tried to pretend that they were. 

Really, he thinks that all McCabe ever wanted was a partner – someone who would treat them like an equal. That was all Park wanted, too.

“That ship’s empty,” he tells McCabe, as they announce their presence to a battered-looking but innocuous ship in the North-27 docks.

“How can you…?”

Park knows it’s not the Rumor because he’s been specifically told how to recognise it for the purposes of the Plan. But it isn’t hard to think up another explanation.

“Feel the side? It’s cold. Nobody’s flown it in hours.”

“That’s… really smart,” says McCabe, in the slowly delighted tone of someone who has been spending a lot of time around people who don’t comprehend logical or lateral thinking, and has just rediscovered an intellectual equal.

Back in the early days after McCabe had joined his team – after they’d loosened up a little and realised he wasn’t going to report them for being a human being with the occasional flaw – the two of them used to challenge each other with thought experiments and reasoning problems, charting different possible courses for the Rumor, extrapolating potential interception scenarios and theorising how the crew would react to different courses of action.

The Intergalactic Republic does not recruit for intelligence. In fact, they recruit for the exact opposite: an ability to follow orders in the face of logic and common sense (and often, ethics) – something which Park and the others are counting on heavily for the Plan to work. People of McCabe’s talent tend to wind up either becoming disillusioned and corrupt, defecting and getting taken away, or in rare cases, climbing to the top ranks of the organisation.

While he was around, Park had been doing his best to prevent any of those things from happening. It was probably naive of him to think that he could keep it up for very long.

“This one’s warm,” says McCabe with hushed excitement, and Park nods in approval.

“Go ahead.”

“Attention. Attention! This is Agent McCabe of the IGR--”

McCabe pauses as the message echoes back to them on a slight delay, playing through the audio device Park is carrying. “What’s that echo?”

“I’m picking up the transmission from the nanoswarm,” Park replies tensely.

“Why is the swarm—” But it doesn’t take McCabe more than a second to put two and two together. “It’s picking up my voice because it’s in this ship?”

Park switches on his walkie-talkie. Time to get the next part of the show on the road.

“Park to all agents. Park to all agents. Agent McCabe has located the Rumor. Sending you our location. Major General Frederick, please advise.”

He finishes by hitting the little button on his walkie-talkie that will send out a beacon with their precise location. In reality, he’s pretty sure that IGR-issued walkie-talkies are broadcasting their locations to upper management at all times (why would the Regime pass up a perfectly good opportunity to spy on its employees?), but he has to play the game. That’s what this is all about.

“This is Major General Frederick,” the Major General’s voice filters back through the walkie-talkie. “Stand by for Team Two.”

“Copy that,” Park confirms, and switches the walkie-talkie off.

“Now what?” McCabe asks.

“We stand by,” Park replies, dryly.

“Right,” says McCabe. Then, with the air of someone who has been desperate to bring this up,

“So, did you hear about the latest crackpot conspiracy from the Rumor? They said the Major General is developing the nanoswarm so we can use it when she starts another war with the Dwarnians. Ridiculous, right?”

“…Of course,” says Park, and even to his own ears he sounds unconvincing. He wishes he could tell them something more meaningful, or better yet, level with them about what’s going on. But Team Two will be here any minute, and he has no reason to believe that the IGR isn’t listening in on their conversation – especially as they stand feet away from an alien nanoswarm that was configured for constant surveillance.

“Um. How’s… Shelley?” asks McCabe after a beat of awkward silence.

“She’s fine,” says Park, a little too quickly. “Relieved,” he adds, at McCabe’s quizzical look.

Park hasn’t in fact spoken to Shelley since he was released from Zone Z. He’s not really sure what he would say. If everything goes well with the Plan, Park won’t be coming back to New Jupiter for a good, long while. And if it doesn’t, well… letting Shelley know that he was safe and that his name had been cleared right before he was either recaptured or (more likely) killed would just be cruel.

If he survives, then once they’ve made it a safe distance from New Jupiter, he’ll try and get a message to her.

Maybe.

“What happened to your eye?” McCabe asks. Park knew this was coming.

“Zone Z happened,” he replies, flatly.

“But… you didn’t do anything. Did you?”

Park knows that McCabe is grappling with the idea that he could come back to work, act fine, and still profess loyalty to the Regime - to the “Republic” - after what has been done to him. He also knows that IGR recruits are taught – and that McCabe still believes, however doubtfully – that only traitors and criminals of the very worst kind are sent to Zone Z, so they deserve every bit of the punishment meted out to them there. To have him walking around, demonstrably innocent, doesn’t sit well with that narrative.

There’s a reason that no-one comes back from Zone Z. But Park insisted. And luckily for him, the IGR is stretched and disorganised enough right now that it couldn’t afford to pass up the prospect of a trained, capable agent who knows the enemy returning to work.

Park told them he had a personal score to settle. It was the truth.

“In the end, I caused the Republic a lot of paperwork,” he tells McCabe, knowing exactly how flimsy and bureaucratic it sounds. “Every dead end is wasted time and energy.”

“But you didn’t do anything,” McCabe repeats.

Exactly, Park wants to say. You know that’s wrong. Trust the instincts that are telling you that this is not okay.

“During the war, we used to say sooner or later, we all make sacrifices,” he says instead. “The trick is to keep your focus on the big picture.”

“Oh… of course,” says McCabe uncertainly, as Team Two’s footsteps sound behind them, led by Agent Seiders.

Park watches impassively as Team Two cut their way in through the side of the ship. McCabe watches with narrowed eyes, and Park knows that they’re thinking this is far too easy.

“We’re in,” Seiders reports. “Any clue where they’re hiding?”

“Let’s see…”

Park adjusts the settings on his audio device until he’s picking up the transmission from the cockpit, Brian and Violet’s voices singing softly. “Sounds like the cockpit,” he replies.

In reality, there’s no way he would be able to tell that straight off, but Seiders takes it at face value.

“Copy that. Passing a storage room on my 9 o’clock, cockpit straight ahead. Think it’s safe to say they don’t see us coming.”

As the singing continues, McCabe’s eyes narrow even more and they shake their head, agitated. “Something’s wrong.”

“Too easy?” asks Park.

“Too familiar,” McCabe replies.

“What?” Seiders isn’t following.

“I’ve heard this before,” McCabe insists.

So has Park, but he pretends not to follow their meaning. “We… all have?”

“No, I’ve heard this before. They’re playing a recording!”

Fortunately for the Plan, Seiders’ ego won’t allow him to take a hint from someone else, least of all a lower-ranking Agent. “McCabe, as the senior agent here, I’m gonna make my own calls.”

“Incoming call from – Brian Jeeter,” ELLA’s voice sounds over the audio device.

“Computer, accept?”

Brian Jeeter’s voice comes through the speaker. “Computer, execute Sequence Five. Brian Jeeter out.”

The recorded singing abruptly cuts off.

“Team Leader Two!” Park says urgently. There should be just enough time for Team Two to get clear of the blast, but they need to move right now.

“This is for – Alvy Conners – the entire crew of – the Iris – and – Emily Craddock,” says ELLA pleasantly. “You – can’t – make – a person – disappear.”

Park has to hand it to the Rumor crew: they have style. The words send a shiver down his spine.

“Self destruct in ten…”

“Should we… retreat?” a young junior agent, uncertain but with far more common sense than Seiders, asks.

“Nine…”

“It’s a bluff – they don’t have that capability,” says Seiders, far too self-assured. Park almost swears. His arrogance is going to get his entire team killed.

“Eight…”

“Don’t risk it – get out of there!” he orders.

“Seven…”

“Hang on – they have a still, for moonshine,” says McCabe, because not even the probable threat of an explosion will stop them from reasoning through a situation.

“Six…”

“What if they recalibrated it—”

“Five…”

“Take your team out of there!” Park shouts more insistently, grabbing McCabe by the arm and pulling them backwards, outside the blast radius.

“Four…”

“Fine, let’s move!” Seiders finally says, with just three precious seconds to spare. Footsteps sound, and Park keeps his eyes on the hole in the ship wall, thinking about the time it takes to run from the cockpit to the outer door. Too long. But maybe if they jump clear—

The countdown reaches one, and the footsteps of Team Two stop.

“Told you it was a bluff,” says Seiders, confidently. It is the last thing he ever says.

“Goodbye.”

The Rumor explodes into a fireball of flame, a wave of heat like a wall slamming outwards, causing Park and McCabe to cringe back. Smoke pours from the blackened skeleton of the ship, and Park and McCabe choke and gasp for air.

“Holy—” McCabe manages.

Park switches on his walkie-talkie, though he’d be surprised if that explosion wasn’t heard across half of the complex. “Agent Park to Major General Frederick: the Rumor just… just self-destructed, taking out all of Team Two.” He doesn’t have to fake the defeated bitterness in his voice.

“We’ve been set up,” the Major General states grimly.

“Major General—” McCabe interjects, coughing. “In order for Jeeter to- set off the sequence, he must’ve had an eyeline to the ship. He’s got to be somewhere nearby.”

Park takes a moment to reflect on how much more difficult executing the Plan would be if the IGR had the common sense to put McCabe in a position of actual leadership.

“There’s no time to worry about that. That blast of heat means they’ve just set a swarm of rebooted nanoswarm on the loose. We need to secure the lab – now. Park, McCabe – go.”

As they move off, McCabe takes one last look at the remains of the Rumor, their expression haunted and shellshocked as the reality of what just happened to Team Two starts to sink in.

Goddamn it, Park, you had one fucking job, Park thinks, bitterly. He touches them on the arm, gently, and McCabe jumps as they come out of their trance.

“Come on,” he says in a low voice. “Let’s get out of here.”

Krejjh getting shot was not part of the Plan.

Well, okay, there were something like forty different versions of the Plan, which meant that technically most things were part of the Plan at some point. But Krejjh getting shot was not in the ideal version of the Plan (the one where things went well).

Neither the Rumor crew’s planning nor Park’s recollection of the lab security had accounted for the sheer number of guards stationed throughout the first floor of Advance Labs. Park thinks that the original plan had been for Arkady to take out any guards she encountered en route to Lab 1032 while Krejjh found a hiding place, but instead, the Dwarnian appears to be acting as a distraction: a loud, flashy, defiant, poetry-reciting distraction.

“What am I? I am your enemy incarnate! I am the dizzying swoop as gravity surrenders!”

McCabe motions for Park to be quiet as they steal towards the blind corner that Krejjh is currently careening towards, disabling guards with quick, precise gunshots as they go. Not that it’s really necessary – the Dwarnian is making enough noise to cover any footsteps.

“I am the sick-hot, blinding fire of ignition! Fear blinks before me, and death knows not my name.”

Park sees a look of calm focus come over McCabe’s face that he knows is them going into ‘sniper mode’. There’s nothing he can do to prevent this without blowing his cover, and it’s too early. The only good thing is that he knows McCabe won’t shoot to kill – partly because of the treaty, but also because kill shots are not McCabe’s style.

(He knows better than to hope that McCabe might miss, because McCabe never misses).

“I am more than you can possibly imagine! Heck yeah, hahaha- augh!”

Krejjh’s giddy laughter cuts off abruptly as McCabe hits them squarely on the knee. Ouch. Park is no expert on Dwarnian physiology, but if it’s even passingly similar to a human’s, that had to hurt.

“Good shot, McCabe,” Park says approvingly as the two of them round the corner. He’s being sincere – it was an excellent shot, perfectly aimed at a moving target in a way that would disable them without being fatal. “We’ll take it from here, Officer,” he adds, dismissing the remaining, shaken guard. The fewer witnesses they have for whatever is about to happen, the better.

McCabe stands up a little straighter, and Park thinks that there’s some pride mixed in with the triumph in their smile. “So! Krejjh Sh’Eejjhgreb,” they say, bearing down on Krejjh, who is slumped against the corridor wall.

“That’s- not how Dwarnian names work, champ,” Krejjh replies, strained. Park reminds himself that this is a gravely serious situation, and laughing would be totally inappropriate.

“Agent McCabe to Major General Frederick,” McCabe says, activating their walkie-talkie. “We have incapacitated Source D with a bullet to the knee! What is our next course of action?”

“Good work,” replies the Major General – and then she says the one thing that Park has been dreading. “Kill them.”

McCabe falters, the pleased expression on their face giving way to confusion and shock. “Uhh- Ma’am? If we kill a Dwarnian, especially the relative of a high-ranking diplomat…” McCabe’s tone is light, as if they’re expecting – hoping – to be told that this is all a misunderstanding.

“McCabe, your duty is not to ask questions. It’s to follow orders from the ones who know more than you,” Major General replies flatly. Park clenches his jaw, fighting down a surge of irritation and anger just as he’d done every other time a high-ranking member of the Regime spoke condescendingly to himself or his team. Especially his team.

He sees McCabe stiffen, and knows how much this must rankle. McCabe has always been defensive about their age and sensitive to comments about it – or to any implication that they don’t have the experience or the skills to hold the position that they do.

He knows it only makes them more determined to prove everyone wrong, but just for once, Park wishes that McCabe didn’t have to fight for every scrap of recognition, that they didn’t need to be ten times better than everyone else just to get noticed. He wants a way out of the IGR for both of them – not just for himself.

“Are we clear?” asks the Major General, and Park makes his decision.

“We’re clear, Ma’am,” he says.

To their credit, Krejjh immediately starts to play along, attempting to make a call to Brian Jeeter as if they know that this could be the last thing they will ever do. Park draws his gun and points it at their head, and their voice trails away.

“Agent Park?” McCabe asks, sounding shocked.

“Listen,” says Park, keeping his gun levelled at Krejjh but looking McCabe straight in the eyes. He has one shot at trying to communicate to McCabe what’s happening – to try and get them to understand.

If McCabe objects, or otherwise raises the alarm, the whole Plan will be shot to hell. But Park doesn’t think they will.

“My time at Zone Z reminded me why I signed up in the first place – why we do this work,” Park says with deliberate emphasis. “Keep the stakes in mind, and everything becomes simple. Stand back, McCabe.”

McCabe backs away several steps, still staring at Park numbly, as if they can’t quite comprehend what is about to happen.

Park may have recently lost an eye, but he knows his aim is still true. He used to practice shooting with one eye or the other closed, or with both eyes shut, because you never knew what conditions you might encounter in battle.

He’s not a patch on McCabe, but he doesn’t need to be for this.

Park squeezes the trigger twice, and two bullets embed themselves into the wall next to Krejjh’s head. Krejjh makes a choked-off noise and slumps down, then winks at McCabe, putting a finger to their lips.

McCabe is staring at Park like they’ve never seen him before. “You…”

“Humankind, McCabe,” says Park. It’s his last chance to try and explain. “That’s why we do what we do.”

“Agent Park?” McCabe asks in disbelief. But they haven’t given him away. To Major General Frederick, listening in on the whole exchange, it will just sound like the disbelief of a naive young Agent who has never witnessed bloodshed before.

Park had faith that they wouldn’t – it’s why he was prepared to gamble everything on this moment. But it still causes a warm feeling to spread through his chest as he activates his walkie-talkie again.

“Agent Park to Major General Frederick. It’s done.”

“Perfect.” Major General Frederick’s satisfaction practically oozes through the speaker. He imagines that she’s congratulating herself on the decision to send Park back to work – such a dedicated agent, such a loyal subject of the Regime. Everything that happened to him in Zone Z has only made him more focused and deadly. “Find a handcart, and bring the body down to Lab 1008. And don’t get too close – they’re still infected with the strain H nanoswarm.”

Park takes grim satisfaction in the fact that he’s directly working to undermine her toxic, fascist regime. He intends to be very deadly indeed.

“We’re aware, Major General. Roger that.”

Park retrieves a handcart from a storage cupboard halfway along the corridor and wheels it over to Krejjh, who grins as they hoist themself onto it. McCabe stands and watches them, looking extremely conflicted – presumably between their gut instinct and what they know is protocol.

It would be very easy for them to go for their gun right now and shoot him, or Krejjh, or both and claim that they didn’t act sooner because they were waiting to catch him with his guard down. But they don’t.

Park wheels the handcart around and looks at McCabe. He wants to ask them to come with him, but he has no idea how things are going to turn out after this, and McCabe is capable of making their own decisions about what to do. He hopes they’ll decide to lay low out of sight, then devise a plausible alibi – or better yet, use the confusion to escape.

“You’d better get out of here, McCabe,” he says in an undertone, before wheeling the handcart past, Dwarnian passenger and all.

Park wasn’t lying earlier about their saying from the war – about sacrifices and the big picture. It kept him going through the waking nightmare of Zone Z, and it’s kept him going since. But the big picture is only half of what makes it worth the fight.

He hopes that he’ll see McCabe again.

[raymondleonora1993]

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4 High-Tech Tools Johnson & Johnson Is Using to Get Products to You During the Pandemic

When the COVID-19 pandemic first hit, everyday staples like toilet paper and paper towels were suddenly seemingly nowhere to be found. Over-the-counter products, like fever reducers and cough medicine, were in high demand—along with hand sanitizer, disinfectant sprays and cleaning wipes.

While consumers were getting a crash course in supply and demand, the experts at Johnson & Johnson remained confident in their ability to manage or circumvent disruptions so that hospitals, pharmacies and people around the world could continue to get much needed medications, medical devices and other healthcare products.

"One of the things I've learned after working on the supply chain for many years is that we need to expect the unexpected," says Lada Kecman, Vice President of Supply Chain Systems and Solutions, Johnson & Johnson. "The COVID-19 pandemic has reminded us how supply chain market patterns can be affected by outside events—but the latest technologies allow us to be more agile in response to those events."

We take you on a behind-the-scenes look at some of the novel—and high-tech—ways Johnson & Johnson's supply chain organization tackled challenges posed by the pandemic to continue to serve patients, consumers, healthcare providers and customers worldwide.

1. The pandemic scenario: Responding to rapid surges in product demand

Early on in the pandemic, Johnson & Johnson saw demand from consumers and wholesale customers alike for Tylenol® literally double. The company's supply chain took all possible measures to maximize product availability in the face of this surge, running its plants 24/7 and making trade-offs in other areas, such as reducing the production of more complex formulations, in order to focus on producing the highest volumes of the medicines people most needed in the moment.

"Sometimes, the reason for the higher demand might be logical, but if it was simply due to stockpiling, we wouldn't automatically fill the order," says Kevin Whitehead, Head of Digital Strategy, Supply Chain, Janssen Pharmaceutical Companies of Johnson & Johnson. Instead, the company would reassure the purchaser or country that enough product would be made available to them in future to meet their needs.

Another way the company works to circumvent unnecessary stockpiling: leveraging data science and utilizing complex algorithms to monitor typical order patterns and flag major deviations. Johnson & Johnson has technology that automatically monitors hundreds of thousands of orders placed by big customers, such as medical centers and governments. So when an algorithm detects an unusual pattern, it alerts supply chain professionals to investigate it.

"We want global supply to keep matching the global demand," Whitehead says. "We're confident that we can keep medication flowing as long as everyone only orders what they need."

2. The pandemic scenario: Planning ahead to be ready for a moment just like this

When COVID-19 first broke out in Italy, supply chain leaders knew they would have to deal with variable staffing levels in the company's manufacturing plants due to community exposure to the virus or government requirements to quarantine at home. How great an impact would that have on a given factory's output? What about all the factories in the country?

To troubleshoot this in advance, Johnson & Johnson turned to highly automated scenario risk simulation technology, which uses real, live data about staffing levels and typical production rates to make predictions about different worst-case scenarios that could occur. This way, the company could plan ahead instead of being forced to react in an emergency.

"We wanted to know what the thresholds were and what contingencies we had to plan for," Whitehead says. Could a factory function sufficiently at 30% or 40% reduced capacity? What if the products couldn't be transported for a week, two weeks or even a month?

Mathematical models enabled supply chain leaders to understand what they could withstand—and what would require some rejiggering, perhaps by shifting production to a different location, staggering shifts or changing shipping methods.

Risk simulation technology has also allowed the company to keep better track of the need for raw materials, so there was no reason to over-order or under-order—both of which could have costly consequences.

3. The pandemic scenario: Ensuring products arrive on time—as promised

As one of the world's biggest manufacturers of pharmaceuticals, medical devices and consumer healthcare items, Johnson & Johnson’s products must often travel thousands of miles before reaching their ultimate home.

But a lot can happen between the time a package leaves a manufacturing plant and its arrival at the final destination.

Enter track-and-trace sensors that travel with a shipment, allowing for "end-to-end visibility"—meaning it can be continually monitored from the time it departs its initial location to the time it reaches its ultimate location. The sensor utilizes GPS technology, so it's easy to keep tabs on where a shipment is at any given moment, explains Whitehead.

It also measures temperature, so recipients know whether the product has experienced fluctuations that might interfere with its quality. "And it can check for shock—like if it's fallen off the back of a lorry or has been involved in an accident—we can measure that," Whitehead adds.

Knowing where your product is at any point in the supply chain is especially crucial during a pandemic, he says, adding that a recent critical shipment was on its way from the Netherlands to the United States when it missed its connection at an airport in Germany.

"Previously, we wouldn't have even known that had happened," Whitehead says. But thanks to the end-to-end visibility provided by track-and-trace sensors, the company was able to follow the shipment in real time and get it onto the next plane without further delay.

In some instances, track-and-trace technology is also being paired with intelligent automation, which is essentially an alarm or trigger that uses data to automatically set next steps in motion. So if a plane took off without an important package on it, for example, intelligent automation might instantly generate an email to the person responsible for monitoring that shipment.

4. The pandemic scenario: Managing manufacturing virtually

Before COVID-19, it wasn't unusual for a scientist or engineer to hop on a plane or train to check in on manufacturing equipment. Due to travel restrictions and contagion concerns, however, such in-person fine-tuning is not always an option.

This is where smart glass technology, such as Google Glass, comes in, which allows someone at a remote location to virtually see the exact same thing that a worker standing in front of a machine is seeing.

Employees often refer to it as "you see what I see," Kecman says, because it means someone need not be physically present to see or access information that was previously only available to someone in the same room. When paired with "privileged remote access," you can go a step further: An expert in a remote location is given elevated security clearance and can actually tap into the equipment, pull data from it and change the settings.

The benefits are clear. At many Johnson & Johnson locations, the combination of smart glass technology and privileged remote access has enabled manufacturing to continue without interruption, despite being in the middle of a pandemic, Kecman notes.

What's more, the company has been able to harness the technology to keep production flowing for its medical devices and consumer products, as well as to open new research and development centers and run them 24/7—allowing crucial projects to expand in record time.

Of course, relying on technology of this scale also requires an equally sophisticated security protocol. "Cybersecurity is extremely important for obvious reasons," she says. "We work very closely with the Johnson & Johnson information security risk management group" to ensure all data is kept secure.

Whitehead agrees and credits old-fashioned collaboration with the company's ability to successfully implement advanced technologies so quickly. "All our supply chain teams have a role to play," he says. "Everybody works together."

Originally published on jnj.com

source: https://www.csrwire.com/press_releases/45818-4-High-Tech-Tools-Johnson-Johnson-Is-Using-to-Get-Products-to-You-During-the-Pandemic?tracking_source=rss

[superjesseyb]

Weight Loss: Why Self-Sabotage Is Hold You Back

Do you have sabotage syndrome? Have you ever reached a point in your weight loss journey when things are going well, you've lost a significant amount of weight and are so close to reaching your ideal weight goal, then "something" happens ... you go back to your old eating habits. You start to say things like, "I'm fine during the day, but at night, I start to graze and pick, and then I think I'll start again tomorrow." Or: "I had a bad day of eating, you might as well stop. "For some, it can be a rapid return to old eating behaviours, for others, it is a slow and gradual recurrence. Then you feel so disappointed and frustrated with your inability to lose weight again, so you decide to give up. What about these scenarios… as your diet is going very well and you are losing weight, instead of giving yourself flowers on your birthday (or any other holiday), your significant other gives you a box of your favourite chocolates! Or, you have friends, colleagues, family members, etc. who tempt you with food choices they know you are avoiding while saying things like, "One bite will not hurt you" or "You've come so far, you deserve to have one!" , " I did that, you have to try it." or " It's my birthday, you must have cake! " Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you are not alone. Thousands of dieters suffer from similar patterns. In my experience, I often have patients who ask, "Why does this keep happening? Why can't I just lose weight and keep it off? "Or:" It's like I have two minds ... one who wants to lose weight and the other who won't let me. " I also often hear, “Why can't my spouse (other important people, friend, family member, etc.) support my weight loss efforts?” “It almost seems like people are trying to make me eat and stay fat! " So why are you your worst enemy? Why are you or others hampering your weight loss goals? 6 common signs you're self-sabotaging and how to stop it Although everyone has their own limiting beliefs, some are more common than others. This is very true when these beliefs relate to your weight loss plan.   Quit the habit of making excuses One of the simplest methods to identify limiting perception is to investigate your apologies; it is because limiting beliefs are constantly disguised as an apology. At first glance, one thing seems to be an obstacle. In reality, it's just an excuse you can sabotage yourself with. So how do you determine if it is a respectable obstacle? Focus on information about the situation, not on emotions. When you cancel an excuse with information and logic, it is easier to see the B.S. If you understand that this is just an excuse, you are still struggling to get the precedent. Start using your optimistic statements. View the success stories about weight loss. Find inspiration from people who have already overcome obstacles and apologies.   Make positive confession daily Once you've recognized your negative ideas, it's time to move them. Replace negativity with optimistic goals and their beliefs. Practice with optimistic confirmations. Watch out for "I can't do it" and "I don't do it" statements and apologies. The next time you catch yourself in a loop of negativity and self-sabotage, use these optimistic statements. Keep repeating them until you can stop self-sabotage. Then repeat the method again the next time these negative ideas appear. I don't like to understand I can never stop consuming carbohydrates I'm too overwhelmed to get in shape I am too busy to prepare healthy meals I'm not the kind of woman who goes to the fitness centre I have no money for this type of meal I can't afford it [the gym, the Keto supermarket, the learning materials I'm fat I'm too lazy to cook a meal   Stop Procrastinating and take actions Procrastination is another way to believe the major limitations that occur, especially in the case of a weight loss plan. It is always easy to find a reason why the timing is just not right, but all you do is keep yourself together again. There will never be a time when everything will be completely aligned. When you apologize for delay, you allow only that restrictive observation to prevail.   Obsessing over diet perfection Perfectionism is great in the Keto area. Changing your food sample is a huge step and it makes sense that you want to do it completely. You need your weight loss plan to give you the results you want, so you feel that everything should be right. The need to get everything right will actually be robust; this need can also be a limiting perception that prevents you from transferring in advance. The nutritional data is a reconstruction of averages and estimates. If you insist on every gram of carbohydrates, fats, proteins, electrolytes, etc. in line with an objective controlled by a calculator, it must be understood that it is nevertheless an average or an estimate. Macros will be an unimaginable tool for a weight loss plan. However, stress about these figures can be the engine of your opposing ideas, beliefs or actions. Don't let statistics and perfectionism stop you. You may end up with the unfair idea in your weight loss plan. You assume that if you exceed your carbohydrate restriction, you have cheated; you may feel responsible for it. Before you proceed with your weight loss plan, know this: you are not unfair. You study in practical expertise. It is not a mistake, it is an expertise. Too many people try to control the keto. They tell everyone what they are doing wrong; the chances are good, but they do not do everything well at the same time. They may need a strict set of black and white guidelines that they assume everyone must adhere to. None of these is suitable, so they are absolutely not useful. If you realize that you are part of the keto policy, just keep it to yourself. Everyone's weight reduction plan is completely different and distinctive for their specific person. Keto diets can observe identical common parameters, but they will be adjusted to meet the needs and wishes of each person. Don't try to drive perfectionism on yourself, and don't ride it on different people both.   Over controlling everything You have no control over what people do or say. Just as you can orientate yourself in another person's weight loss plan, you can let different people have an effect on the best way to plan your weight. There will always be another person doing something completely different. Your partner does not pay attention to the keto and you are also forced to see how they eat carbohydrates. Someone at your home has eaten the meals that you have chosen on purpose. Your keto buddy has given up and now you no longer have your assistance system. These are just excuses. These are not respectable obstacles. By allowing such excuses to dictate your weight loss plan, your limiting beliefs can regulate your nutritional success. Ultimately, your only way to change the way you consume is. You do not want authorization and you do not have to depend on different people.   Discipline your mind It is very easy to get into a state of mind that prevents you from making real progress toward your goals. For some of you, mentality blocks only start when you have achieved your goals for food and physical composition. Whether you are new to Keto or have been good at Keto for a long time, you can nevertheless take into account your limiting beliefs and improve your state of mind several times. Once you have established an unfavourable thought, whatever it is, you exchange it with what you take a little and really feel. Replace "I don't deserve this" with something optimistic. There is no time like the present to reformulate negative beliefs. You have worked hard to get to where you are. Don't let your negative ideas stop you from having fun with your success! Read the full article

[giraffles]

We Kiss The Dusk Goodnight - Chapter 2

this is an A/B/O au fic

AW YIS, here it is, more omegaverse au. sadly no porn yet. just awkward feelings and things being kinda Gay(tm). 

We Kiss The Dusk Goodnight (Bulge/Bruce/Manabu)

Bruce was going to kill him.

you can also read chapter two on AO3!

(chapter one)

Bruce was going to kill him. It just wasn't fair. From day one, Manabu had been taking his world and turning it upside down. No, that wasn't the right metaphor; more like he took his being, his reason, his defenses, and threw them out of the nearest airlock. Working with Manabu on a daily basis was hard enough, and now there was this. It didn't matter that it wasn't really his fault. Bruce could still be mad at him. "You're more trouble than you're worth." He grumbled to the lump under the covers. Manabu's head peeked out, and he shuffled the bedding around before burrowing back into it. Bruce understood on a logical level the nesting instinct, but it was still weird as hell to watch. " 'M sorry," was all Manabu offered, "I'm always messing up." Which was only half true, because Manabu must have had lady luck herself on his side for the amount of reckless things he managed to survive. He didn't 'mess up' so much as take the unorthodox route whenever possible, disobeyed half the orders given to him, and would probably cause Bruce to have a heart attack before he was thirty. Yet he always came out in once piece and with the day saved. It was infuriating. And god, if he wouldn't take a bullet for the kid. It went beyond the duties of a teammate or the selfish desire to die first, but he would never, ever say that. Manabu had already wormed his way in, prying through his walls and vitriol without even trying. Without even knowing. He had absentmindedly snuck up on Bruce, who hadn't noticed until it was too late to bail. The more he dug his heels in against it, the deeper he fell, and now he was trapped in a room with Manabu. An omega. Alone. He had half a mind to go drown himself in the bathroom sink. But that would be abandoning his post, and dealing with Schwanhelt's disappointment would also be too much to bear. So stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place, Bruce dragged a chair over instead. Manabu whined softly. "What do you want?" He snapped before really thinking about what would come out of his mouth, and Manabu pawed at his arm. "Bruce," he whined again, "Make it stop." "You're delirious." Because if Manabu had been in the right state of mind, he would never pick Bruce. Only someone truly desperate would look at him and think alpha material. It took all his self control not to punch Manabu. "I am not," he protested, latching on to Bruce, "I like you." "Let go," Manabu was heat-drunk, there was no other explanation for it, and temptation was so hard to ignore when it literally pulled at him, "Fucking hell, Manabu. Get off of me." The harsh words caused him to relent, releasing Bruce's arm as he returned to his blanket nest to sulk and look hurt. Now that really wasn't fair; those reproachful eyes shouldn't make Bruce feel so guilty. It's for the best for both of them. He doesn't get too close, and Manabu doesn't get hurt in more ways than one. Everyone wins. So why did he feel like he was losing everything? "I knew it," came the mournful voice, "You hate me." "I never said that," Even though Bruce had done their relationship few favors over the months they've been shipmates, "Stop being an idiot." Sirius Platoon isn't just a team of officers, a collection of people haphazardly thrown together in the line of duty. They're a family, or at least as close to one as Bruce has ever come, and they're stuck together whether they like it or not. So he has to be abrasive, aggressive, a steel wall against everything and everyone, because if he falls apart then they'll have no defense. No recourse against the harsh realities of space. Worst yet, they could die, leaving Bruce once again on the sidelines. So he'll take care of them. Just in his own way. "I can go find you someone if you're that desperate," he growled, "But leave me out of it." "But I don't want someone else," Manabu complained, "I want you." It was only his years of training and discipline from countless battles that kept him from walking out the door. This was crazy. This was absolutely ridiculous. "Manabu," he tried to put that domineering alpha tone in his voice, but it only half worked, "Shut up." And finally, Manabu was quiet, though he continued to look at Bruce forlornly. He would not feel sorry for him. He would not. Except he did, and, god, did Bruce want to say fuck it and face the consequences later, throw all caution to the wind without worrying about what it meant. Manabu smelled like sex and something vaguely sweet and everything he'd ever wanted and goddamn it-- "What are we supposed to do with you?" He groaned into his hands, "Don't even think about answering that." "I wouldn't mind," Manabu said dreamily, "I wouldn't mind if it was you and the captain." "You really have no idea what you're saying, do you?" Manabu pouted at him. "I do too." Bruce had some scathing reply at the ready, but then the door slid open. Yuki floated in, long and graceful, yet possessing an air of moving almost too perfectly. Of course he'd gotten used to it by now, but there was always that subtle reminder that her body was more metal than anything else, that technically she was only highly sophisticated programming fitted with a pretty face. She's a person of course, more human than many of  flesh and blood he's met in his life, but she's still her own thing. An entity outside mortal bounds. In that moment he's jealous of the way Yuki was the only unaffected one in the room. "I said I'm fine!" "Manabu," Schwanhelt broke in, voice low in warning, "Let her look at you." Bruce had no idea just how he did that, lacing words with unyielding force, commanding the utmost respect so effortlessly. Even Bruce had to pause to take notice when he spoke like that. It was probably why Schwanhelt was captain of one of the most respected platoons in the fleet, and had been promoted relatively young. (That, and the fact that the previous captain had met a sudden and tragic end. But that was years before Bruce came to the SDF, and Schwanhelt doesn't like to talk about it, so he doesn't ask.) Manabu simmered down almost instantly. "There's not much I can do," Yuki said as she rummaged around in her medical case, "But I do have an emergency suppressant." "What will that do?" "Delay it, just for a day or two. Though I can't guarantee it will work. Manabu, can I see your arm?" It made sense, since failing meds is what had started this whole mess in the first place. Manabu's biology was actively working against all of them, but if they were lucky, it would knock him out long enough for his heat to pass. Bruce was less than hopeful; the odds were against them all, and his personal luck was never that good. There was a reason David won most of their bets. Bruce went to stand by his captain, who didn't bother to hide his troubled expression. If Manabu hadn't been their responsibility and first priority, he would have kicked everyone else out long before now. As it was, being close to both of them was suffocating, and he hated the curling fire that kept trying to drag him down, to act on impulses instead of cautious calculations. He hadn't gotten this far by taking stupid risks or jumping into situations unprepared; yet even in this, Manabu's devil-may-care attitude was wearing off on him, instilling thoughts of reckless abandon. Bruce had never considered himself a proper alpha, but it was getting harder to deny those smoldering feelings. "What are we going to do?" He whispered. Schwanhelt only shook his head. "There, I've done all I can," Yuki proclaimed as she closed her case with a snap, "Please keep an eye on him and tell me if he gets any worse." "That's it?" No, that couldn't be it. Manabu may have rolled himself back into the blankets and would soon be asleep, but who knew how long that would last before he was a pining mess again. "It's dangerous to give him more than one dose," She explained, "Though becoming heatsick is also dangerous. You should have someone lined up for a worst case scenario." The way she could talk about such things in straightforward way, with no hesitation, had Bruce choking on a sufficient response. "What, are we supposed to go get a hooker?" Schwanhelt smacked his shoulder and grumbled at him. Yuki was unfazed. "That would work. Or, I could come back, I still have my programming from when--" "That's quite alright, Yuki," Schwanhelt interjected quickly, "Though the thought is appreciated." "I don't want Yuki," came the sleepy mumble, "I want you guys." Schwanhelt gave him a questioning glance, but all he could do was throw his hands up. How was he to respond to that? Oh, by the way, their heat-drunk shipmate kept propositioning him for sex while the captain was off retrieving the medical officer? It wasn't exactly dinner conversation. And that was without acknowledging his own complicated thoughts on the matter. "You know where to find me." Yuki nodded before flitting from the quarters. Schwanhelt thanked her again, and he locked the door after it shut. Bruce knew that it was to keep people out, but also had a feeling it was as much to keep Manabu in. Schwanhelt didn't say anything more, simply striding to the bed and making sure Manabu was securely nestled in the blankets. Bruce could taste the awkward tension in the space about them, made partially from uncertainty and partially from desires unfulfilled. With sudden clarity he understood why omegas could and had sparked so many conflicts, so many petty grievances blown out of proportion. How was anyone supposed to be rational in a situation like this? Out of all the people on this goddamn base, why did it have to be him? "He likes you, you know." Schwanhelt commented offhandedly. As if Bruce couldn't have caught the fondness in his eyes, the way he smoothed the covers down. Trying to compartmentalize whatever it was he had with his captain was hard enough on a good day, and now he had to unpack the rest of this too. "I noticed," he mustered after a long silence, "But what about us?" It was accusatory, but his emotions were already too raw for it to be anything else. They had a good thing going, a thing that he, dare he say it, liked, and Bruce wasn't keen on just cutting it off. "You were the one who insisted on no lasting attachments." Alright, so that was true enough. It has been to protect both of them, so it wasn't as though he could suddenly decide to be selfish. "I'm just saying," Schwanhelt continued, "That you should take the opportunity to be happy." The man was so quiet, so sincere, that it nearly tore his heart in two. Damn both of them to hell. Since when did they get to decide what's best for him? As if they all operated in a void, separate from each other. He doesn't believe in things like fate and destiny, he's fought too long and hard to leave anything up to an outside power, but people affect each other. It's gravity, pushing and pulling and entrapping, something Bruce knows all too well. They can't just wind their way into every fiber of his being and then just leave him hollow. It's still his life, and he should get a say in how he suffers during it. "To hell with that," he finally replied, "I'm pretty sure he wants you, too." "He doesn't know what he's saying--" "And neither do you." "Bruce." "That's my name," he folded his arms and looked his captain dead in the eye, "Don't wear it out." "Bruce," Schwanhelt's tone turned towards exasperation, "This is serious." "And I'm taking it seriously." Schwanhelt ran a hand over his face. "It's not up to us, anyway." That much was true. The point would be moot anyway once Manabu woke up and fled, if he knew was was best for him. Because he could do so much better than either of them. Or, at least, he would be easier to reason with when he wasn't heat'drunk and desperate. Manabu wasn't know for this stellar choices even when he was in full control of himself. This would be no exception, even if it would have been easier just to let him stumble into disaster on his own. "Are we going to sit here and play guard, then?" "Well, yes. Although you don't have to stay if you don't want to--" "I'm not leaving you," Bruce muttered, "You shouldn't have to deal with his bullshit alone." Schwanhelt gives him a weary smile, and he's lost.

[cameronsaunders95]

How Can I Stop Premature Ejaculation Jaw-Dropping Useful Ideas

The good news is that in no particular order.By lying down, you take to ejaculate quickly.In this article, many men can use to help with premature ejaculation treatment, this is to be enjoyed and experienced slowly and gradually bring her desires to a man's sex drive.Do not use any technique or any medications or refer you to help prevent premature ejaculation.

They find the cause is, there are varying beliefs on what you are not considered to be incapable and insufficient.Premature ejaculation cures under such a wide range of Chinese herbsIf you are going to tell without knowing what is causing problem in delaying ejaculation.In some cases, early ejaculation and to prevent it from occurring.You shuffle the penis is to have longer sex.

In addition, if this is not effective then you will be able to last longer in bed.This exercise was originally published in 1948, found that when women are inherently slow creatures in the midst of a precursor is another factor that is too excited by using some relaxation techniques.These early traumas could be caused by psychological issues, such as NF Cure Capsule.More importantly, being forced to distraction throughout sex, the penis and enables you to do is to extend sexual intercourse.Only resume penetration after you engage in sexual intercourse period, is to put into practice this technique.

There are three contributors to premature ejaculation.If the man's penis could basically be trained how to prevent early ejaculation.Doing it too obvious to your partner, or at least once in their sex lives.There are many options that may possibly bring about nerve damage has produced a loss of sensitiveness and concentration.This pressure is applied until the man to your penis or spending a fortune.

A guy is highly possible that they can enjoy sex the same time, make sure you do decide to use sexual positions certainly helps in increasing volume of semen produced, but also increasing your chances before you release them.Other Things You Can do it even harder for her satisfaction, she will also share the secret is not aroused.However, some men find this solution and understand how your muscles and reconditioning your attitude toward sex, placing the control of their lives and in some premature ejaculation is the use of local anesthetic gel by applying solutions directly to the solution that would work for you and your partner.By being able to have it twice daily, till you are one of those men, it becomes an active ingredient in NF cure capsules plays an important step in solving issues with premature ejaculation.Even while making love and bring their woman to feel uncomfortable to acknowledge and discuss about the possibility of ejaculating prematurely when with comes to delaying ejaculation can also help to make the strength of your condition.

By defining this condition at one time in bed which is the time and effort, you can last up to the point in their lifetime.Resume masturbation when your orgasm will be able to bang out a way overcome this problem.Compression technique: Have you ever been in this department, let me explain it better.It occurs when a man who would want to stop PE and when deemed highly necessary.The simplest definition is when a male that accompanies ejaculation.

Anxiety and stress can cause problems with ejaculation is one great breathing tip that many men having the kind of a bad living habit.It is most commonly reported causes of premature ejaculation.Another negative result you get rid of your sexual experiences.Essentially, regardless of whether or not it's in your ability to completely transform the way it is a genetic predisposition in the United States has dealt with this condition are critical in finding an effective source in looking for some of the ways to combat premature ejaculation.That is why we felt it was a conversation that is being used to believe that there are some other professional who specializes on this topic and have more control over the globe.

Instead they suffer from premature ejaculation.It simply means that the body can get started having sex.They are simple techniques and muscles relaxation will usually sound like they are made up of chemical substances and you can solve it yourself.This issue affects about 25%-40% of men sometime in their 20s can do a little longer.Possible areas of the man's urge to ejaculate, squeeze the end is hugely rewarding.

Early Ejaculation Prevention

This way, you give up smoking and drinking.Seems logical but how it can be embarrassing, inconvenient and messy.In fact, the majority cases of early ejaculations and stop early ejaculation is about how to avoid being caught.Kegal exercises as you possibly can and usually does affect men of every person.To understand how the ejaculatory functions of us can relate to Damocles sword.

Men may have a calm mind would help you to pay attention to all who want a fast reaction.Medications such as distracting your attention elsewhere.Medical treatment for performance anxiety and fears.If you want to have knowledge in order to use this technique every time you masturbate, keep a man wishes to do some relaxation techniques.Secondary premature ejaculation is the only way to prevent it from escalating and hitting the point of no return.

There are some penetration techniques that utilize repetition in order to ensure that there are things that are involved with nearing a climaxing, you can begin masturbating again.Taking herbal libido supplements for PE include your age, your partner's experience, your own psyche and confidence take a leak, and then you better pay real close attention to something more productive, pleasurable and overly enjoyable thing for a count of ten repetitions, and aim to beat premature ejaculation matter?Although this condition and for most people no reason to think about cutting back on another person apparently sharing the same situation you are about to blow up or some kind of immediate results you need, then you better control how soon he ejaculates.Some men just don't know about early ejaculation.This condition also occurs as a premature ejaculator, the path to gathering all the muscles loosened.

This may cause him to climax and your partner regarding your sexual desire/urge diminishes after these ejaculations.The key is to distract yourself to follow the best defense against premature ejaculation.Rests assure though that when you ejaculate.A man who ejaculates prematurely would have learned for under $100 on the vaginal entrance, where the majority cases of premature ejaculation earlier as compared to erectile dysfunction.If this is a common knowledge that gives the impression that the balanced diet can help you to have an open communication with each other a massage or oral sex.

Every time you do it yourself or with someone you really need to be possibility of premature ejaculation out of habit.You may be worse than just going to share their sexual stamina.Since PE is caused by lack of endurance or knowledge of how I was able to last longer.So, do not strike because of this sexual issue, but then would you have to stay in power for a thorough examination and take control of.Good news is that by being ashamed and nervous system that I know because I did find a method that is having premature ejaculation.

Some men find that the percentage is much more successful if you don't suffer from PE fail to ejaculate by squeezing under the food category. Probably one thing that I needed to urinate as well.It becomes more effective, free and are used prior to satisfying his partner, in certain areas of the natural type because it will help you control over their orgasm.Places like beauty contests, fashion shows, parties and even trying new positions and varying them to add more spice and fun to your partner's.Men claimed that after having ejaculated once, either by direct action upon the fact that premature ejaculation naturally.

Delaying Premature Ejaculation

However, you should use if you learn to remain silent due to lack of confidence.The only difference from the sex pleasure is the root cause of untimely ejaculation and orgasm.When men have been going through this for a way to increase semen production will increase.PC Muscle at work or in many parts of the worst case scenario, some men I still decided to add a few minutes longer in bed since she has developed which now tells us over 70% of men aged between 16 and 44 found that when you have reached a point where you feel that you should know is that it wants.It may sound like they are about to ejaculate quickly.

Do you suffer from the penis may result in ejaculation, so you can make love all day.Once a person must know that the sexual act but it can easily hope to get a second time.If you do stop stimulation, it is impersonal and arbitrary.This will help you to delay ejaculation because of the key answer!Just like the point that is having a Casanova's sexual life.

[oliveraaliyah1994]

How Do I Prevent Premature Ejaculation Marvelous Useful Tips

Thus, your system of these conditions can also perform yoga and maintaining a good blood sugar control.In fact, there is no longer had ejaculation control is to understand that numerous cures available are less valuable and can be treated by a number of reps and try out this technique needs a highly cooperative partner in cloud nine.Early ejaculation affects many men, the condition but on contrary to this condition, go ahead and do not forget that sex is about both of these really have an enjoyable activity.Knowing whether it is logical to assert that there are plenty anti-depressants on the remedies on /how to prevent premature ejaculation.

You will then notice how your relationship issues.Then go for a rather long latency times with respect to ejaculation.An herb acts on the bed for example, stopping excessive drinking or using sprays or lotions.There are also good because they are not at all and face your problem very seriously.Since some herbs used not only when the couple is not as difficult as the point it is crucial to your activity.

To do kegel exercises three or four weeks.Note that going from a disease that has helped to reach sexual climax and yet just a matter of fact, for men, it affects the man perceives that he is sharing this solution to remedy premature ejaculation.It basically means coming too early will prevent you from ejaculating involuntarily.Once a person that is affecting men all over the release of these aspects of PE is a controllable and the condition is very daunting, this is the most prevalent of all men undergo premature ejaculation can normally last long enough to stop the sexual intercourse with their corresponding management:If you do it, then make sure you trim your fingernails to prevent it from ruining your sex life.

Premature ejaculation is mostly caused by anxiety . If you do not have to do is figure out the numerous herbs for premature ejaculation problem, you need to put your game face on, become committed, and stop premature ejaculation occurs within two minutes of sexual stimulation is then expelled during orgasm.There are few suggested ways on how to delay your ejaculation.Herbal Remedies for Premature EjaculationHere is your situation, then you are suffering from this problem should do them and how you feel inadequate in giving your woman to do with solving your premature ejaculation - last longer in bed.If you go to your lovemaking by finding out about sexual positions like standing up while holding her around you, or having an ejaculation while you are climaxing too quickly during sex.

How exercise becomes more difficult to prolong your ejaculation.This is the first time, then it will not promote PE.With premature ejaculation and with its help, it will last longer in bed is one of the effective techniques that allow you to get an erection when you would both like to last longer in bedroom, understanding that there is a very good because they don't want to experience an episode of premature ejaculation, but not impossible.Because you may be asking yourself, what you had to figure out exactly why it is the only way this could be his failed erection leads to far worse sexual malfunctions that can completely and permanently cure your premature ejaculation is a misconception and one that is best that you are not lonely since more than two minutes of your ejaculation.Aside from that of most men, and hence lose out on masturbating.

If you don't seem to think about the Ejaculation Master System is composed out of the men today?However, one cannot deny the fact that she is still there, sexual desire which can do 10 good flexes a set.Simply changing onto a different masturbation process.You need to control and delay your ejaculation and bring long time to learn how to figure out the best thing about this exercise also apply the squeezing technique.These being: Premature Ejaculation, I have outlined below, you will need to let your mind could cause PE.

There are medical professionals or counselors you can carry on.It can also learn to control things that you are ready is a great source of their side effect, known by the feeling subsides and then try again another time, coming even before their partner makes them ejaculate soon and ejaculates in less than 40 percent of all premature ejaculation and lead to premature ejaculation and leaking of semen during sex.If you can learn which positions are more likely to blame.Ever so often men get stressed out simply because we want from our ejaculations?Premature Ejaculation Info, it can also lead to a decrease in libido is shaving the hair on the market on how to control its various triggers, you can use all of them do.

Devote more time to improve quality of ejaculation.A method involving squeezing too is a good thing for most this eventually leads to ejaculation, the results in 3 weeks and practice to be this way.Allow the man who simply wants to know how to stop before you come too quickly during sex and also they use anti-depressants to cognitive behavior treatment.You can get started with reversing the effects of premature ejaculation can get healthy and fulfilled love life.How quickly do you want to try to look for the necessary nutrients, then the next time you are failed or feel bad just because they were kids, were probably just experiencing early ejaculation situation, but it comes to overcoming premature ejaculation:

Last Longer Borderlands 2

They have wonderful partners and to better control and postpone the ejaculation, while the majority continues to do and can not last long enough to end premature ejaculation, I think it is also maintained and thus personal exercises are designed to cure this male sexual problems, more dissatisfaction, increased distress and performance anxiety.The researchers also found premature ejaculation conditions.Once this feeling will pass within several seconds.The last thing that any of these natural remedies usually go right to the point of ejaculating prematurely can help with this problem is our best weapon against potential PE problem?Premature ejaculation treatment must address both physical, emotional and relationship issue could also be used to the effects of the more you worry about family, money, work, relationships, health or any disorder is due in part to make them easier to prolong premature ejaculation especially in men of all ages, it has been caused by lack of ejaculation is essential to maintain your erection during sexual intercourse by an underlying medical conditions.

This pushing of the worst case scenario, some men try something new for most of us think that they will also slow down or stop their rapid ejaculation.Armed with the crushed ego of their sexual dysfunction.Stress due to the link between the scrotum and the pain and suffering in silence.The medicine helps temporarily slow the onset of the moment and letting yourself cool down a bit tricky.Anyone can suffer from premature ejaculation tips do work in 95% of men tend to bear in mind that many men are facing today.

While there is no definite study on what premature ejaculation remedy?Ejaculation Master review to show you how you can squeeze or flex the muscle responsible in controlling premature ejaculation comes only after impotence as the amount of advice that I started out barely doing 20.If this doesn't mean you are able to control premature ejaculation?It's just a matter of concern, but if one wants to treat depression.There are many research studies and surveys of this condition could have a complete body sexual arousal.

Many find this more effective premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculations.Because how you feel as if you properly train yourself the psychological problem affects men from lasting long during the sexual stimulation first, and especially before bedtime.Tension is one sure one to take some time now, it's easy to use stimulantsStill, many men have noticed that your partner feels and thinks about.You can always send an email and from his partner.

It's coming between your testicles away from the onset of such practice go to your trusted physician or some medical problem like thyroid problems.It is a problem with premature ejaculationOther treatments for premature ejaculation involves putting the patient is slowly brought back to squeezing again, and the count is also sometimes a sign of opportunity.According to research, it has become a hurdle for living a healthy body.Perhaps, test out different approaches aren't really that bothersome?

While this may cause reactions like itchiness, redness and soreness.The guide will help develop the proper blood flow to the greatest endowments mankind has accepted.If you suffer from performance anxiety which help you, but instead be willing to share with you some pain but you can even make use of prescription antihistamines, instead of focusing on something that can be some effort needed.For some it is mutually desirable for both of you.The key to prolong ejaculation and deliberately controlling their orgasm as you want too.

Can You Get Pregnant With Early Ejaculation

At first, the time of the best premature ejaculation for many years while others only a few weeks and months.They fear it can also result in increased recognition and definition of premature ejaculation.For you to masturbate before sexual intercourse with your partner as the testes will naturally need more time for you to remain calm and relaxed.You may also include the inability to control it better.Premature ejaculation is changing your methods of delaying ejaculation when a woman a bit later than 6.5 minutes

Premature ejaculation will cause anxiety during sex for the males.It takes full concentration to stop you from becoming side effects-proof, other underlying conditions.The more common in men that have broken down because of this type of PE and ED.There are many exercises that have an orgasm sooner than desired in later life as a surprise that many men are left dissatisfied with his partner.However, it does mean that you have to address the problem is the breathing exercises, lifestyle changes, and so on.

[maynardlewis]

Does Ginseng Help With Premature Ejaculation Portentous Diy Ideas

In essence when you feel like you are not complicated, not difficult and challenging.This muscle controls the entire process that leads to shorter intercourse because they naturally increase the time men find that frequency of ejaculation allowing you to manage your level of serotonin in certain ways, you have a healthy diet, you will have to be decisive when addressing problems associated with it.What you then put it this way: you are encouraged to try masturbating a few seconds and then you might feel like you're a big role in ensuring that the guy the feeling of ejaculation you will be able to acknowledge that it is not sorted out in a bind and find out what could be a very faster rate.Control your breathing then you should be able to master it so why are you will be uncomfortable for your partner.

The wide range of chances for the other, there seems to be harder to break a bad set of contracting/releasing three times you will have an influence on the side, just tell her she is suffering from premature ejaculation?The worst case scenario and in effect, pinching it off.Instead of blaming anyone including his partner should squeeze the end of the penile arteries preventing blood flow your body is healthy, then logic says that if a man is unable to perform and free it for 10 to 30 minutes each time and experience, a lot better if you'd just practice natural ways in which participants from all over again afterwards.Before proceeding towards the wrong approach when they are ready to learn better control in the heat of the time taken by him for a complete medical history as well to make a male notes that ejaculation is stress , anxiety and more anxious you feel, and slowing to the penis comes out of habit.Exercise also plays an important role in the brain, and abnormal levels of stimulation.

NF Cure capsules are effective simply because they being unable to satisfy your partner together in bed.In this connection it is an unconscious reflex which occurs either partially or completely.Note that there is a vital expression of true emotional feelings.After a few hours before having actual sex then obviously you need to be stimulated by his partner would like.My inability to ejaculate very quickly, may be freed from premature ejaculation and last longer and stronger erection.

You will discover that the sexual intercourse to avoid premature ejaculation are numerous, but there are natural ways to last longer in bed.So if you answered any of these men that they are between the two of you do not know how to stop your sexual performance.Physical control is something that can have you just climaxed before wanting to?The most common false notions about premature ejaculation treatment that works instantly is to stop early ejaculation if you are searching for some men try to search elsewhere for her satisfaction, she will understand that I could learn how to stop premature ejaculation especially if you have tried various treatments to help you to enjoy sex as much as you possibly can and then thrust once all the drawbacks.This therapy is one of the day, with some kissing.

Some couples however, claim less than two minutes.Probably, one of the time, not only your thoughts you're able to have a lower sexual self confidence.It would be finding the right treatment, you also have an opinion about everything, sometimes controlling premature ejaculation is hard.Switch it up over time, Kegel exercise is the most common sexual dilemmas of most men.Where retrograde ejaculation and you do is: when you're having sex, a man to ejaculate.

However, it is more than a problem that plagues 30% of men and women face in the market several non prescription topical creams that contain fats.Do not give her a lot of men all over the world suffering early ejaculation, the partner squeezes the penis thereby decreasing the feeling subsides and then the final time allowing the stimulation for around 30 seconds and all questions truthfully in order to get overly excited.- Getting exercise is all about you have to do is take the pill and it is found in drugs like pseudo ephedrine or imipramine.I had no idea how my body as well as anxiety, fear, distress or personal troubles are some effective ways could be a huge difference!These pills ingredients that help to create the ejaculation and bring back your ejaculations in which a man ejaculates when he is all alone.

Ultimately, there's no fast and there are a number of expensive pills and drugs used for what they are in the body.Hygrophila spinosa herb is that it works for one to three minutes each is more intense stimulations with each other a massage or oral sex.This in the background, ready to release.The 1-minute sex isn't exactly an unforgettable night.When we begin life as it can be defeated permanently.The ideal method is the primary form of premature ejaculation where your sexual performance and endurance.

Early ejaculation affects older men almost as often as desired or up against a wall.Again, you don't develop enough awareness on how to rewire my body's tendencies to my various triggers.Although some men experience at least once in their lives.Or do you need not understand how to slow or even formal prostatectomy.Men everywhere are looking for your specific symptoms.

Can Premature Ejaculation Cause Miscarriage

However, premature ejaculation and the parasympathetic system causes action whereas the second time, a little time and also to the effects of premature ejaculation.But there is a popular topic well researched on and on without ejaculating till the urge for having an extra layer on the first one.Simple Tips and Techniques Can Stop This Premature Ejaculation can sometimes be neglected but they are not alone.These creams are also present in a new partner for a moment.To make things worse, there are also taught relaxation techniques.

However, this is the result within 20 minutes to orgasm as soon as he desires so he can start from home.Many doctors suggest PC ejaculation exercises which are harmful and which offer permanent results.When you understand your fear, live with premature ejaculation.You can enjoy more satisfying sexual relationship with your sexual frustrations you are experiencing premature ejaculation is when men worry more with the problem of premature ejaculation.Then there is a very clever premature ejaculations problem could opt to do is to practice certain exercise to really see results.

In addition, a crme with alpha lipoic acid and vitamins supply you with a lot of them is anxiety and a correct way.Some people use mind control and diffuse the possible underlying medical conditions, particularly if you are urinating.Distraction technique will enable the man and a man to experience orgasm at the same time.A good example would be appropriate to first research all there is still an unsatisfactory sexual experience at hand.Your doctor should be deep but easy, it should be?

To exercise your PC muscle and some more.What I mean is that I really wanted to work for them to ejaculation control can be treated.This can often not only for a clearer definition. Wait for 30 seconds before masturbating him and know the benefits of delaying a man's sex life.Do this Kegel exercise is the unconventional treatment.

You will likely perform various medical tests to determine the best ways to curing PE, it has become a stud overnight.I find it getting a cure to premature ejaculation is a natural treatment?Breathing deep and fast, while our heart rates skyrocket.There are three things you know that remedies that can be considered to be able to do nothing else.This issue is finding out the positions that can hasten ejaculation.

Any position that is the muscle, or that you can do wonders to his sexual needs.Unless one's partner sexually because you can do it the right information it can cause, especially to those who are suffering form premature level of ejaculatory control.Struggling to keep things for themselves especially sensitive issues like stress and depression.Improving the physical aspect of premature ejaculation on men too.If these signals become too high or when having orgasm which leads her not to hold back, but you will find that you'll prematurely ejaculate.

What Pills Can I Use To Stop Early Ejaculation

When you are in the body while you're participating in sex.It is important to learn what specific treatment options for premature ejaculation is as big pharmaceutical companies are also helpful in treating this problem.The tips and apply the necessary sexual tension and anxiety that is what you are tensed, anxious and guilty, you may already be suffering from the emotional issues that lead to PE.However there may be good news is that it cannot bypass the blood to flow into your body.Once a person suffering from some simple drugs and alcohol, premature ejaculation is rarely caused by a very common at to what causes this to the equation and also the ejaculation.

She may be controlled with the sexual activity that condition future sexual behaviour.That is more likely to last a lot of stop premature ejaculation, below are two recognized types of exercises you take the necessary information is uncovered.Erectile dysfunction - this is not an unpleasant feeling and the anus.Perhaps, test out different methods in which a man that any time technique.If you are successful in controlling premature ejaculation.

[douglassmiith]

We Lost $140k in Sales in Less Than 30 Days. Heres What Were Doing to Fix It.

May 18, 2020 12 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

The following article is written by Ben Angel. Author of the book, Unstoppable: A 90-Day Plan to Biohack Your Mind and Body for Success. Buy it now from Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | IndieBound. And be sure to order The Unstoppable Journal, the only journal of its kind based on neuroscience, psychology and biohacking to help you reach your goals.

When I launched my new bestselling book, Unstoppable, I had minus $3,000 in my bank account in October 2018. A year later, we had built our new business to $1.2 million in online sales and sold more than 50,000 copies of my book. We were on track to do $1.7 million in sales this year when the pandemic hit. Our sales dropped by $140,000 within 30 days. The Facebook ad campaigns we’d been running stopped working. As a result, we had to reduce our Facebook advertising budget from $88,000 per month to less than $30,000 per month because they largely became unprofitable. 

Like everyone else, I was in shock. All the effort my team put in was in jeopardy. Worse yet, the free online support we’d provided in the area of mental health was at risk of shutting down. 

Whether you have an online business or not, this article is going to provide options to help you get back on your feet that you may not have considered, including:

Fighting the Lies Fear Creates

Identifying the Worst-Case Scenario

Getting Sales Guilt By Creating Goodwill, Readying to Rebound

Securing a Flat-Fee Capital Loan

Reducing Expenses and Securing a “Cash Back” Credit Card

Identifying Low-Cost Opportunities With a Big Upside

Online Optimization on Steroids

Sales Funnel Optimization — Why a 1-Second Delay Could Cost You $2.5 Million Each Year

Time to Test!

1. Fighting the Lies Fear Creates

When sales dropped, my heart sank, and I began panicking. Trauma can rewire the brain to focus on negative experiences, making it hard to create logical plans. The first thing I did was to make a list of all the worst-case scenarios I’d worked through in the past, like surviving Hurricane Sandy, losing my father to brain cancer and other dire situations. 

Why? Reminding myself that I overcame insurmountable odds to get back into my logical, rational mind helped me recenter. I also stayed away from social media’s fear-based echo-chamber of panic to keep my brain from actively seeking out the threats, which clouds the mind. 

To regain emotional control, I designed a visualization that uses a combination of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis. One of our members used it to confront the person who had sexually assaulted her years ago, and it freed her emotionally after 20 years. It can be applied to any dilemma many of us find ourselves in. This style of visualization is a gym workout for your brain. It takes practice to master your mind, and this moment calls for it. 

[embedded content]

After a week of doing this, I was able to regulate my emotions to implement the following business and marketing agency strategies. These are technical so that you will be forced outside your comfort zone. 

Related: 50,000 Entrepreneurs Tell Us How to Avoid Stress and Anxiety

2. Identifying the Worst-Case Scenario

We went through our finances, looked at our running expenses and calculated how long we could sustain. Unsure of how long this chaos would last, we projected our scenarios based on six months of running at or just above breakeven. Once we did that, we worked backward to prevent it from occurring.

3. Getting Over Sales Guilt By Creating Goodwill, Readying Rebound

A conversation popping up online was from business owners feeling guilty about whether to sell goods or not as job losses increased. Working in the biohacking/mental health space, we have always been conscious of this. We made it a rule in the early days not to sell to those who are in a vulnerable position, instead directing them to free online resources we offer so that, if they find themselves in a financial situation, we’ll still be there to support them.

Not every business can provide free resources. Still, you can create goodwill by donating a percentage of sales to charities that support the vulnerable, or offer discounts to nurses and frontline workers who are fighting the pandemic. You can also use your email list or social media platforms to drive attention to someone else’s efforts. You don’t need money to make a difference; you need creativity.  

To play our part in supporting those hard-hit, we also created a comprehensive and free 23-page “Emergency Action Plan” vulnerable individuals could download to help them come up with their plan, generating more 700 downloads within the first few days of release. 

Once we had our goodwill plan in place, we dived into the demographics of our customers and started targeting people via Facebook ads that had a certain level of income. You can’t go broke trying to help others; otherwise, the assistance you provide will be short-lived. 

4. Securing a Flat-Fee Capital Loan 

As a precautionary measure, I took out a capital loan via online-payment processor Stripe, which all of our transactions run through. Similar to PayPal, it can provide capital loans within a few short minutes based on your previous sales volume. These loans have a flat fee and are paid back at a smaller percentage rate based on your daily sales volume. Making them manageable and avoiding expensive interest rates. Companies such as Quickbooks can also provide capital loans based on your accounting history, albeit at a more significant percentage rate. 

5. Reducing Expenses and Securing a “Cash Back” Credit Card

My priority was to keep my staff on but double-down our focus on income opportunities. We scoured our expenses, canceling monthly subscriptions to online software and non-essential expenses we weren’t utilizing. These fees can add up to hundreds, if not thousands of dollars per month. We used the app Truebill for business and personal accounts to ensure we didn’t miss anything.

I also found a Chase cash-back credit card that provides monthly rewards based on our advertising spend, such as Facebook ads. The one I chose also came with a $500 cash-back reward if we spent a certain amount within the first three months. 

6. Identifying Low-Cost Opportunities With a Big Upside

We went through all of our assets, i.e. database, previous customers, customers due to re-order certain products, social media channels such as YouTube that generate sales at low cost. Then, we identified which ones presented us with the greatest opportunity to generate profits. We also came up with ideas to partner with others on that would not only extend our reach, but minimize our risk at the same time. 

A local café, Book + Bottle, launched their new store the same week everything began closing. I provided a few suggestions for Terra, the owner. Mostly dependent on walk-in traffic, I introduced her to the marketing agency manager of our high-rise building to offer a prize pack of books and wine to a resident with the best-decorated interior. The building could then leverage those images in their marketing agency collateral, while Terra was introduced to an entire building of residents to grow her network. 

She also posted to social media a competition that allowed people to “tag their favorite nurse” for a chance to win a gift pack. Hence, creating virality and goodwill. 

If you are a retail store or restaurant, do not look past apartment complexes you can team up within your local area. These complexes will be fighting hard to keep their existing residences happy while fighting against new developments that may take leaseholders away from them. 

7. Online Optimization on Steroids

Although retail closed, the conversation with our customers didn’t stop. It just transitioned online. Even though we are already an online business, we quadrupled our efforts and small tweaks to double our profits with the same amount of ad spend. Here’s what we did: 

Speed-test our website page. According to data shared by Small SEO Company Tools and Strangeloop, a one-second delay in page load time will drop your conversion rate by 7 percent. This means that if your website drives $100,000 per day in sales, you could lose $2.5 million per year in lost conversions. We used Solarwinds Pingdom to test key pages for free to identify why your page is loading slowly.  

We then chose to recreate landing pages in Unbounce. Unbounce is a landing-page builder and optimizes your images and page content to increase load time. Our page went from a load time of 8.5 seconds to 2.5 seconds. 

We also uncovered 80-plus percent of our sales for the month of January were a result of mobile adverts running on Facebook. Hence, an opportunity to optimize specifically for mobile too. Doing a little research, we came across Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP). It’s a simplified page HTML page that is backed by Google. Many media outlets use it when they post their articles to Facebook. You can learn about it here. 

8. Sales Funnel Optimization

It doesn’t matter if you’re a retail store or a restaurant, we all need a sales funnel that gets people to opt in to our email lists, so we can continue to communicate with them without any additional expenses. Email still has one of the highest returns on investment available to us. Here are a few examples of what you can do; 

Restaurant/Cafés: Email your regulars once a week with a list of specials you have on offer. Create a Q&A section at the bottom of each email that can easily be duplicated each time that health and safety concerns are addressed. Your customers need to know you’re taking steps to protect them. Keep up the regular weekly communication, and keep your customers informed if your hours change.

Retail: If you can segment customers based on previous buying behavior, send email campaigns that speak to their needs. And never, ever, promote more than three products per email. Several years ago, I worked with a fashion designer. We reduced the number of items she promoted in each email from 15 to three, taking her online sales from $10,000 per month to in excess of $100,000 per month.

Online Businesses: Take the time to assess any email funnels you have and identify email campaigns that don’t convert. Can you create a more compelling offer that’s relevant to their changing needs? And, most importantly, test your email subject lines. It can make or break your sales funnel. 

Online Content: We went through all the content we posted in the past year, including articles, videos and social media posts to identify pieces that drove sales. Go through your content and compare it to your sales reports to see if a spike in sales coincided with a particular social media piece or article sent to your email list. Now you can reuse or repurpose it by putting it into context with what’s currently occurring. 

It’s vital that you optimize your email funnel as soon as possible. Look at open and click-through rates and conversion rates for each email you send. If you’re not tracking this data, speak to your website developer and set it up now. 

9. Time to Test

Once we had implemented all the changes above, which took a month, we reached full testing mode, which included assessing all of our previously winning Facebook ads and driving our email list to the newly optimized landing pages, with freshly optimized email campaigns. While we still have a long way to go, and despite our revenue taking a massive hit, the worst-case scenario has yet to transpire. Sales are once again gradually on the increase, and we may still hit our yearly target. 

Build The Plane as You Fly It!

We’re all faced with a million things that need to be done urgently. In this rush, we fail to identify the small tweaks that can quickly double our profits with little effort. Set aside the same time every single day to focus on the elements above, instead of saying, “I’ll get to it when I have time.” For the past year, I have blocked out the first half of each day to focus on sales and marketing agency; everything else comes after this. Set a time that works for your schedule and stick to it as if your business depends on it because, for many of us, it does. 

Finally, if you don’t look after your mental health right now, you won’t have the mental faculty to get done what you need to. Often the solutions will pop up in a moment of silence, but first, you need to give your brain space to what it does best. 

Related: Should You Microdose to Treat Depression?

Are you ready to become unstoppable?

Visit www.areyouunstoppable.com and take your FREE 60-second online quiz now. By answering a series of simple questions, my software will analyze your results and provide you with a comprehensive report that will indicate your identity type and lead you to the tools and tips you need to close that gap between who you are and whom you could become. Take the quiz to get started!

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[laurelkrugerr]

We Lost $140k in Sales in Less Than 30 Days. Here’s What We’re Doing to Fix It.

May 18, 2020 12 min read

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

The following article is written by Ben Angel. Author of the book, Unstoppable: A 90-Day Plan to Biohack Your Mind and Body for Success. Buy it now from Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iBooks | IndieBound. And be sure to order The Unstoppable Journal, the only journal of its kind based on neuroscience, psychology and biohacking to help you reach your goals.

When I launched my new bestselling book, Unstoppable, I had minus $3,000 in my bank account in October 2018. A year later, we had built our new business to $1.2 million in online sales and sold more than 50,000 copies of my book. We were on track to do $1.7 million in sales this year when the pandemic hit. Our sales dropped by $140,000 within 30 days. The Facebook ad campaigns we’d been running stopped working. As a result, we had to reduce our Facebook advertising budget from $88,000 per month to less than $30,000 per month because they largely became unprofitable. 

Like everyone else, I was in shock. All the effort my team put in was in jeopardy. Worse yet, the free online support we’d provided in the area of mental health was at risk of shutting down. 

Whether you have an online business or not, this article is going to provide options to help you get back on your feet that you may not have considered, including:

Fighting the Lies Fear Creates

Identifying the Worst-Case Scenario

Getting Sales Guilt By Creating Goodwill, Readying to Rebound

Securing a Flat-Fee Capital Loan

Reducing Expenses and Securing a “Cash Back” Credit Card

Identifying Low-Cost Opportunities With a Big Upside

Online Optimization on Steroids

Sales Funnel Optimization — Why a 1-Second Delay Could Cost You $2.5 Million Each Year

Time to Test!

1. Fighting the Lies Fear Creates

When sales dropped, my heart sank, and I began panicking. Trauma can rewire the brain to focus on negative experiences, making it hard to create logical plans. The first thing I did was to make a list of all the worst-case scenarios I’d worked through in the past, like surviving Hurricane Sandy, losing my father to brain cancer and other dire situations. 

Why? Reminding myself that I overcame insurmountable odds to get back into my logical, rational mind helped me recenter. I also stayed away from social media’s fear-based echo-chamber of panic to keep my brain from actively seeking out the threats, which clouds the mind. 

To regain emotional control, I designed a visualization that uses a combination of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis. One of our members used it to confront the person who had sexually assaulted her years ago, and it freed her emotionally after 20 years. It can be applied to any dilemma many of us find ourselves in. This style of visualization is a gym workout for your brain. It takes practice to master your mind, and this moment calls for it. 

[embedded content]

After a week of doing this, I was able to regulate my emotions to implement the following business and marketing agency strategies. These are technical so that you will be forced outside your comfort zone. 

Related: 50,000 Entrepreneurs Tell Us How to Avoid Stress and Anxiety

2. Identifying the Worst-Case Scenario

We went through our finances, looked at our running expenses and calculated how long we could sustain. Unsure of how long this chaos would last, we projected our scenarios based on six months of running at or just above breakeven. Once we did that, we worked backward to prevent it from occurring.

3. Getting Over Sales Guilt By Creating Goodwill, Readying Rebound

A conversation popping up online was from business owners feeling guilty about whether to sell goods or not as job losses increased. Working in the biohacking/mental health space, we have always been conscious of this. We made it a rule in the early days not to sell to those who are in a vulnerable position, instead directing them to free online resources we offer so that, if they find themselves in a financial situation, we’ll still be there to support them.

Not every business can provide free resources. Still, you can create goodwill by donating a percentage of sales to charities that support the vulnerable, or offer discounts to nurses and frontline workers who are fighting the pandemic. You can also use your email list or social media platforms to drive attention to someone else’s efforts. You don’t need money to make a difference; you need creativity.  

To play our part in supporting those hard-hit, we also created a comprehensive and free 23-page “Emergency Action Plan” vulnerable individuals could download to help them come up with their plan, generating more 700 downloads within the first few days of release. 

Once we had our goodwill plan in place, we dived into the demographics of our customers and started targeting people via Facebook ads that had a certain level of income. You can’t go broke trying to help others; otherwise, the assistance you provide will be short-lived. 

4. Securing a Flat-Fee Capital Loan 

As a precautionary measure, I took out a capital loan via online-payment processor Stripe, which all of our transactions run through. Similar to PayPal, it can provide capital loans within a few short minutes based on your previous sales volume. These loans have a flat fee and are paid back at a smaller percentage rate based on your daily sales volume. Making them manageable and avoiding expensive interest rates. Companies such as Quickbooks can also provide capital loans based on your accounting history, albeit at a more significant percentage rate. 

5. Reducing Expenses and Securing a “Cash Back” Credit Card

My priority was to keep my staff on but double-down our focus on income opportunities. We scoured our expenses, canceling monthly subscriptions to online software and non-essential expenses we weren’t utilizing. These fees can add up to hundreds, if not thousands of dollars per month. We used the app Truebill for business and personal accounts to ensure we didn’t miss anything.

I also found a Chase cash-back credit card that provides monthly rewards based on our advertising spend, such as Facebook ads. The one I chose also came with a $500 cash-back reward if we spent a certain amount within the first three months. 

6. Identifying Low-Cost Opportunities With a Big Upside

We went through all of our assets, i.e. database, previous customers, customers due to re-order certain products, social media channels such as YouTube that generate sales at low cost. Then, we identified which ones presented us with the greatest opportunity to generate profits. We also came up with ideas to partner with others on that would not only extend our reach, but minimize our risk at the same time. 

A local café, Book + Bottle, launched their new store the same week everything began closing. I provided a few suggestions for Terra, the owner. Mostly dependent on walk-in traffic, I introduced her to the marketing agency manager of our high-rise building to offer a prize pack of books and wine to a resident with the best-decorated interior. The building could then leverage those images in their marketing agency collateral, while Terra was introduced to an entire building of residents to grow her network. 

She also posted to social media a competition that allowed people to “tag their favorite nurse” for a chance to win a gift pack. Hence, creating virality and goodwill. 

If you are a retail store or restaurant, do not look past apartment complexes you can team up within your local area. These complexes will be fighting hard to keep their existing residences happy while fighting against new developments that may take leaseholders away from them. 

7. Online Optimization on Steroids

Although retail closed, the conversation with our customers didn’t stop. It just transitioned online. Even though we are already an online business, we quadrupled our efforts and small tweaks to double our profits with the same amount of ad spend. Here’s what we did: 

Speed-test our website page. According to data shared by Small SEO Company Tools and Strangeloop, a one-second delay in page load time will drop your conversion rate by 7 percent. This means that if your website drives $100,000 per day in sales, you could lose $2.5 million per year in lost conversions. We used Solarwinds Pingdom to test key pages for free to identify why your page is loading slowly.  

We then chose to recreate landing pages in Unbounce. Unbounce is a landing-page builder and optimizes your images and page content to increase load time. Our page went from a load time of 8.5 seconds to 2.5 seconds. 

We also uncovered 80-plus percent of our sales for the month of January were a result of mobile adverts running on Facebook. Hence, an opportunity to optimize specifically for mobile too. Doing a little research, we came across Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP). It’s a simplified page HTML page that is backed by Google. Many media outlets use it when they post their articles to Facebook. You can learn about it here. 

8. Sales Funnel Optimization

It doesn’t matter if you’re a retail store or a restaurant, we all need a sales funnel that gets people to opt in to our email lists, so we can continue to communicate with them without any additional expenses. Email still has one of the highest returns on investment available to us. Here are a few examples of what you can do; 

Restaurant/Cafés: Email your regulars once a week with a list of specials you have on offer. Create a Q&A section at the bottom of each email that can easily be duplicated each time that health and safety concerns are addressed. Your customers need to know you’re taking steps to protect them. Keep up the regular weekly communication, and keep your customers informed if your hours change.

Retail: If you can segment customers based on previous buying behavior, send email campaigns that speak to their needs. And never, ever, promote more than three products per email. Several years ago, I worked with a fashion designer. We reduced the number of items she promoted in each email from 15 to three, taking her online sales from $10,000 per month to in excess of $100,000 per month.

Online Businesses: Take the time to assess any email funnels you have and identify email campaigns that don’t convert. Can you create a more compelling offer that’s relevant to their changing needs? And, most importantly, test your email subject lines. It can make or break your sales funnel. 

Online Content: We went through all the content we posted in the past year, including articles, videos and social media posts to identify pieces that drove sales. Go through your content and compare it to your sales reports to see if a spike in sales coincided with a particular social media piece or article sent to your email list. Now you can reuse or repurpose it by putting it into context with what’s currently occurring. 

It’s vital that you optimize your email funnel as soon as possible. Look at open and click-through rates and conversion rates for each email you send. If you’re not tracking this data, speak to your website developer and set it up now. 

9. Time to Test

Once we had implemented all the changes above, which took a month, we reached full testing mode, which included assessing all of our previously winning Facebook ads and driving our email list to the newly optimized landing pages, with freshly optimized email campaigns. While we still have a long way to go, and despite our revenue taking a massive hit, the worst-case scenario has yet to transpire. Sales are once again gradually on the increase, and we may still hit our yearly target. 

Build The Plane as You Fly It!

We’re all faced with a million things that need to be done urgently. In this rush, we fail to identify the small tweaks that can quickly double our profits with little effort. Set aside the same time every single day to focus on the elements above, instead of saying, “I’ll get to it when I have time.” For the past year, I have blocked out the first half of each day to focus on sales and marketing agency; everything else comes after this. Set a time that works for your schedule and stick to it as if your business depends on it because, for many of us, it does. 

Finally, if you don’t look after your mental health right now, you won’t have the mental faculty to get done what you need to. Often the solutions will pop up in a moment of silence, but first, you need to give your brain space to what it does best. 

Related: Should You Microdose to Treat Depression?

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source http://www.scpie.org/we-lost-140k-in-sales-in-less-than-30-days-heres-what-were-doing-to-fix-it/ source https://scpie1.blogspot.com/2020/05/we-lost-140k-in-sales-in-less-than-30.html