#logged in to twitter after almost a year

[dany36]

😒😣

[curiosityjams]

my future when it comes to still being Active on social media is teebeedee, but my main resolution for 2024 is like...be comfortable w/ being completely offline even if it's just for a day or a week.

[algae-tm]

AGORA HILLS

Daniel Ricciardo x rapper!Reader SMAU

Warnings : SUGGESTIVE content!! Reader and Daniel being horny for eachother on main

face claim : megan thee stallion

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danielricciardo just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, youruser and 414,097 others

danielricciardo : Locked in. It’s race week

view all comments

user7 : praying for a dr3 podium

— user5 : lmao you’ll need something stronger than prayer

user6 : can’t believe mother is dating this loser

youruser : whore

— user9 : 😅😨

youruser : I’m sorry I wasn’t aware I was running a brothel

youruser : who let you out of your cage long enough for you to post this

— user7 : girl pls ✋🏿 😭

youruser : who you trying to impress???? 😨😅

— danielricciardo : I’m sorry bookie, what can I do to make it up to you?

— youruser : you know what 😼🤭

— danielricciardo : on my way!

— landonorris : there are children on here!!!

— youruser : log off then norizz

youruser just posted

liked by danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 3,345,871 others

youruser : THANK UUU SO MUCH LONDON! Always a pleasure performing for you, truly one of the best crowds! Now if you’ll excuse me my man is waiting for me in our hotel room with nothing but edible underwear on 🤤

view all comments

lewishamilton : an amazing show as always y/n! But was that last part really necessary?

— youruser : yes

user7 : your free speech… hand it over!!!

user21 : how she’s so down bad over a man well past his prime i can’t understand 🤷🏼‍♀️

— youruser : PAST HIS PRIME!???log off NEOWWW

— user32 : I fear she’s dickmatised 😔

user45 : love that they’re still in the honeymoon phase

— user47 : FR!! I need all their secrets! after almost 3 years and they’re still so in love with each other

danielricciardo : AWOOGA

danielricciardo : woof woof bark bark

— oscarpiastri : 😨😨

danielricciardo : I ate the underwear 3 songs ago

— youruser : we can’t drive any faster 😭

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youruser just posted

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 4,325,437 others

youruser : I see your “Danny Ric is a loser who doesn’t deserve y/n” and raise you “LOOK AT HIM, LOOK AT MY MAN, LOOK AT HIS BIG GORGEOUS, RIDEABLE NOSE, AND HIS TATTED THIGHS AND HIM IN A SUIT!!! RATTLING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!! I NEED HIM I NEED HIM I NEED HIM, GOD FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING IM GOING TO DO TO THIS MAN WHEN I GET HOME FROM THIS DINNER, THE SLOPPIEST TOP THATS EVER GUNNA SLOP IS COMING HIS WAY!” oh btw Agora Hills out like rn! view all comments

maxverstappen1 : oh… uhm okay. NURSE SHES OUT AGAIN

— youruser : don’t be jealous cause I’m doing your man on the daily

— maxverstappen1 : 😨

— user65 : lmao y/n stays traumatising these drivers

landonorris : listened to the song! Great! Cool! Cool cool cool. Didn’t need to know all that but really good I guess

user70 : you know I’m starting to see the vision

lewishamilton : y/n… is this why youre on the phone rn?

— youruser : sorry wrong number

— lewishamilton : this is social media

— youruser : no habla ingles!!

user1 : not the random picture of you on the second slide

— user3 : that’s what I’m saying 😭 like is this not an appreciation post for your man?

— youruser : god forbid a woman look hot and post it! need to show you guys he’s taken by a bad bitch!

danielricciardo : forever grateful you chose me to spend life with 💞

— youruser : oh… we not being horny rn?

— danielricciardo : my draws are off rn

— lewishamilton : OH this is why y/n just sprinted out of the room

— youruser : forever grateful you chose to spend life with me too 💙💙

— user47 : she sends him blue hearts??!????? Is it for visa cashapp paypal venmo el matador racing bulls

— user76 : girl 😭 you good???!

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danielricciardo just posted

liked by youruser, oscarpiastri and 800,000 others

danielricciardo : I wanna tie the knot. I wanna show you off

view all comments

youruser : DANIEL RICCIARDO, propose to me for real goddamit!! You coward

— danielricciardo : working on it baby

— youruser : ooooo I need you so bad rn

user56 : sooo only fans when

— danielricciardo : my eyes only sorry

user78 : y’all are nasty

— user67 : in the best way!

user81 : sending you lot my therapy bill

lewishamilton : I love y’all but don’t you ever get tired

— danielricciardo : yeah she tires me out all the time

— youruser : yeah I do baby!!

youruser : my man

— danielricciardo : my woman

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[sensiblereblogifposts]

A while ago, I posted a petition, to stop the closing of a much loved museum, Syndeys Powerhouse museum, a place that's been under threat for years.

I need your help with this once again, (especially if you are an Aussie)

After years of threatening to close down and demolish our only science, tech and applied arts museum, and one attempt to turn it into an events center, they've come back with another plan, which basically amounts to "we're going to clear out the museum and demolish most of the structures inside. We definitely have a plan to put some cool stuff back, but we can't tell you it, but it's definitely gonna be great. Don't mind that a bunch of purpose built structures to display delicate objects are set to be demolished."

(That's an F1 Apollo rocket engine, very rare outside the USA. Almost 60 years old, now delicate, but it's going.)

"We've garunteed 3 of the most iconic items (not their accompanying collections) will come back. Pay no mind that we haven't allowed for where they're gonna go, or that the one object we can't move (rare, 250 year old working Boulton and Watts steam engine) is set to end up inside a corridor)

(There used to be room, elevated planforms even)

"Oh, also, you know that museum storage hall, so close by and practical, with a loading dock and workshops, that's also sitting on prime real estate? We're building a second loading dock and workshops in the main museum! Right where the all classrooms where!"

It's supposedly a heritage restoration, but in truth, it's based of a skewed heritage report which has been heavily criticised as I'll informed, and rigged to allow the place's removal.

Almost every detail goes against the spirit of the original musuem. The orginal museum was a fun, post modern place with a sciencey vibe,

Which transitioned fluidly into historic halls, with historic products and technology to match

The Musuem has an upper entrance designed to be welcoming, full of natural light, and evoke the feel of an old grand train station. This is to be bricked up.

Rather than restore the older galleries, theyre taking several of them out reducing display space from about 15,000m²ish to about 6000m² ish.

The historic halls included restored generator room filler with steam engines. This really put the museum on the map.

But that's going.

All that is going, in favour of

This kind of thing.

The plan to do this is on display untill end of may May 30th, Aussie time. It would help a lot if you (might be only Australians) log on and make a short comment opposing the project:

A lot more commentary on the project can be found at:

@protecpowerhous on Twitter

Or if you cant make a submission, and still haven't, please sign that petition:

The people reporting to government planning will be see it, and attention helps.

[eyeheartboobiez]

-> 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝖽 𝗑 𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

-> 𝗌𝗈𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖺𝗎!

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖫𝖠𝖲𝖳 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗆𝗆𝖺 𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝗃𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗆 𝗂 𝗌𝗐𝖾𝖺𝗋😭

Jason Todd and ex girlfriend, Artemis Grace, spotted outside a club together just hours ago! May this old flame be finding its spark again? (8/20/2022 3:14 AM PT)

For months now, people have been buzzing after Gotham elite Jason Todd and singer Y/N Y/LN hinted at being in a relationship. Ever since this past March when they were initially spotted together, fans have done nothing short of obsessing over the two.

Artemis Grace, former girlfriend of Jason, had gotten into some hot water recently when insiders claimed that the singer had something to do with leaking Y/N’s unreleased track, Fantasize.

As mentioned in former articles, TMZ investigators came to the conclusion that Artemis was involved in publishing the song as a way of “getting her lick back”. Time logs show that the dubbed “rival” singer entered the same studio as Y/N not too long after she left for the night.

Many people online have been more than vocal about their love for the song, despite the fact that it was released without the artist’s consent.

While Artemis has yet issue a statement regarding the accusations, she seems to have plenty of time to be out partying with her ex.

Fast forward to last night, when just hours ago, Jason and Artemis were seen leaving a nightclub together and looking very close for comfort. Onlookers were not only shocked, but absolutely gagged when they saw the two hugging each other goodbye.

With their late night rendezvous breaking headlines, some fans are starting to question if Jason may have also played a part in helping Artemis, or if they ever really broke up at all!

The exes, who were romantically involved for almost two years, have a long history of being toxic towards each other. Their on-again-off-again relationship was notorious for its dysfunctionality, making it hard to keep up most of the time.

It wasn't until late last year when both Jason and Artemis officially called it quits by posting an announcement on their respective Instagram accounts (although many were skeptical to believe it).

Despite the initial shock of the situation, it begs the question: Where does Y/N stand in all of this?

Fans of the singer songwriter were quick to come to her support, majority of whom expressing their clear disappointment in Jason.

“I was really betting on these two,” says Twitter user @y/n’scoochiehairs. “I feel like a child of divorce…”. The fan account, while only just a few months old, grew exponentially due to their constant posts about the alleged couple.

Many sentiments like this have been circulating the internet once the pictures from last night began to surface. Y/N is notorious for putting her emotions into her songs, so at least we know she’ll be releasing new music soon, right?

— replies —

user1: oh she really aint playing...

user2: COOK HIM GOOD SIS!!

user3: girl this is a whole bar put this energy into a song or sumn😭

user4: sooo what im hearing is that ur single🤔

⤷ user5: ntm on my wife now..

user6: this next album bouta be BIBLICAL

user7: genuinely hope youre doing okay🥺🫶

user8: ily queen🩷

people you may know!

liked by b_zarro and 613,189 others

@artemisofmighdall: last night was a dream✨

View all 25,846 comments

user1: first you mess with her music then you mess with her man.. if bold was a person…

user2: the hell is she smiling so damn big for?? ain’t shit funny😐

user3: girl you betta PRAY i don’t catch you in these streets…

user4: “last night was a dream” yeah and you in for a rude awakening cuz wth💀

user5: these comments killing me😭

user6: you already going to hell for being a ginger now you just making it worse for yourself🤦‍♀️

— creator has turned off comments—

end notes: is jason involved or is he just being framed👀 lmk what you think!!

[tevantarlos]

Feel free to ignore but I just have to get this out. I know this sounds mean but I´m happy that

a) Tim and Oliver lurk in fandom like no other and are seeing what people say about them and

b) Oliver had months of reprieve from the deranged people that make his following because they were turning all their guns on Lou. In fact he gained popularity because they convinced themselves (with his help, I add) that he is their champion and actually wants Buddie to happen. What does he think will happen now, when in a couple of weeks Buddie still has not happend? There is no Tommy standing in the way anymore and we will go right back to accusations of baiting and of people calling him fat and bald and almost too ugly for Eddie (yes, that happend). And when this happens and he has another whiny outburst on SM I will laugh until I fall over.

They droped the ball with every other LI before because they were to chicken shit to even try putting a stop to the endless harrassment. I think Megan West was the most egregious example of just leaving someone hanging and even encouraging the shit that went on online. They had a chance here, for the first time, to try to get out of this toxic Buddie brew they are in. If nothing else the way the relationship with Tommy was received, the way it garnered press by outlets other than glorified fan blogs like "Fangirlish" and gained them a new audience and the move to ABC all presented an opportunity to combat the toxicity by simply taking the fandom monopoly away from the crazies. But they just did not have the balls and now look at their pathetic attempts to make Brad happen on their IG. Engagement is low and what it there is the usual idiots screaming for Buddie and nothing else.

I hope it was worth it. I don´t see the show getting a 10th season, maybe not even a 9th. The spin off will be cheaper to produce, Peter talked about quitting before and the ratings trend downwards since S6. Not to mention the writing is absolute shit since Tim is back.

Maybe Oliver hopes that Callum Blue is the kind of guy that can get him a job after 911 gets canceled and is worth sucking up to. Last time I checked he couldn´t even get cast on a Hallmark movie so why not try, right? Buddie fans will not follow him either way, I hope he knows that.

Hey, hon. Thanks for the ask. Sorry I haven't posted this or replied before now. I haven't logged into my computer in a few days, have just been doing everything on my phone, and I didn't want to try to reply to this on my phone, that would takes ages.

I've been in the 911 fandom since two months after the last episode of season 1 aired. Oliver and 911 shot themselves in the foot by not shooting this Bvddie bullshit down from the very beginning. They've spent years leading Bvddie fans on, purposely having scenes with Buck and Eddie that cause the lunatics to see things that aren't there, because it gives the show more engagement.

Oliver and 911 know that Bvddie fans will never stop watching the show because they're so sure that at some point, 911 and Oliver will give in and make Bvddie canon because 'it's what they deserve'. At least, that's the bullshit I've read a lot of on Twitter and other places. What Bvddie fans don't understand, is they aren't owed shit.

I learned this the hard way when I was in the 100 fandom. I, and many other Bellarke fans thought that since we were loyal fans of the show, we'd be rewarded by getting Bellarke eventually. But just like Bvddie is never going to happen, Bellarke never happened. The writers and show runners had no interest in going there. They just liked to bait fans. Just like 911 does, with Buck and Eddie.

I personally feel like Oliver was relieved that all the hate was getting thrown at Lou and not himself, and he got a break from those assholes for a few months. But now that Lou and Tommy are gone, they're just going to go back to harassing him because Bvddie isn't canon and never will be, and those dumbasses can't cope.

Oliver knows that if he ever truly tells the Bvddie fans that it's never going to happen, he'll lose a large majority of his fan base. So, he just doesn't say anything. He encourages their twisted thinking and doesn't put them in their place when they're being assholes. Neither does Tim, so it's a monster of their own making. (The Bvddie fandom)

I can't speak on anything to do with the actresses of the other LI's. For many years since I started watching the show, I didn't interact with other fans much. The only time I did, was when I wrote fanfiction when I was a Bvddie shipper for 2 years, but after I found out what a bunch of toxic assholes they were, I ditched that fandom and am so glad I did.

Yeah, I check out the 911 IG page every few days because that's all I can stand. I can't look at it daily. All the Bvddie bullshit on every post claiming 'Bvddie canon, season 8!' It makes me roll my eyes so hard it hurts. Also, the way those idiots talk, like Buck and Tommy weren't in a relationship, like Buck is Eddie's one true love, and the other father of Chris.. God, I can't help but tell them how stupid they are for believing that. Especially since Ryan said in an interview that Chis has only one dad, and Buck sure as fuck ain't it.

The show will be lucky if it gets a season 9. This season is just not good, and I mean that honestly. Putting aside the BuckTommy of it all, it's crap. They focused too much on that Brad character which was a fucking waste of screen time. They traumatized Henren and their kids, had a plot that ended like within 5 minutes with Ortiz, had a decent start for Gerrard being a bad guy and dropped him for BRAD! Who the fuck cares about fucking Brad? No one.

When it comes to the IG posts, the first few days and maybe weeks after the BT breakup, both fans and GA made their feelings about the out of the blue breakup known, but after fighting the stupid Bvddie fans in the comments for a few days, most people backed off. I've gotten messages from people on IG who are BT and GA fans, who said that just like a lot of my comments on the IG page, their comments were removed for supporting BT, and for dishing out some of the bs that the Bvddie's have been doing for years.

Which once again shows that the people who man the 911 IG page, are catering to the most toxic assholes in the fandom. Every fucking post on the 911 IG has bullshit about Bvddie going canon, but people who talk about BT, or who even dare to criticize, in a nice way even, who criticize the plots being cut off, making no sense, the characters doing things that are out of character, they get deleted. But yet the lunatic's comments remain on the posts.

IF the show gets renewed for season 9, I'm betting it will be the last. This season so far has just been a shitshow. In terms of the writing for the show, and in terms of the Bvddie fans taking being complete assholes, to the highest degree imaginable.

I don't give a shit about Brad the character or his actor. I hate the character, he fucking annoys me. I didn't find any of this plot funny, just irritating and I want him gone. The mains were pushed to the background this season for Brad, some dumbass that's not some great character, but some idiot.

Also, Oliver is like a child. He only cares about praise and ass kissers. He says what will cause him to look good. I remember there was one time a few years ago, where he had some contact with a Bvddie fan and when the fan said that he was a dick for leading people on about Bvddie if it's not going to happen, he snapped back and said that he was just an actor doing this job and to stop being so mean to him.

In my opinion, he's a fucking moron who did it to himself. Him and Tim. As I said above, they could've gotten the assholes under control or even gotten rid of them from the start by being honest and just saying their stupid Bvddie is never going to happen. But no, they're too worried about ratings dropping, so they throw in Bvddie scenes every now and then to keep baiting those fans and they eat it all up.

Every time Buck and Eddie share a scene, those idiot's are all, "It's happening! Bvddie canon, y'all!" And then nothing ever happens, and those assholes get mad at being baited once again. It's been 7 1/2 seasons. If Bvddie were ever going to go canon, it would've happened by now.

[cantcompetewhereudontcompare]

Louis - the Liam Gallagher cosplayer

I said my next project would be Louis as a homophobic bully - with proof. But the hard proof I have is in a hard drive I can't access right now, so I'll leave that for later (but it is coming as soon as I can).

I thought instead I'd tackle a huge thing that's been bothering me, especially in light of the Oasis reunion.

I'm personally a huge fan of Oasis, and everything about Louis regarding Oasis annoys me, but particularly these two things:

He's not an actual fan and never was. Just a casual listener who's marketing himself a certain way to appeal to a certain audience

He's attempting (rather embarrassingly) to be a copy-paste version of Liam Gallagher

I'll divide this into two parts, and this first post will be about point #1, because it'll be too long otherwise.

Anyone who was a fan of One Direction in their early days would know that Louis' Thing, the music he said he enjoyed, was Top 40 radio. He can act like he's an indie rock band enthusiast all he wants, but that's just simply not true. In fact, that was HARRY'S thing throughout his time in the band.

Fans called him a hipster (the whole Frat Harry thing came later, at the time, in 2013, fans said he was a hipster). And Louis LITERALLY mocked him for liking "obscure" bands.

Here, March 13 2013, One Direction's Take Me Home Tour in Dublin. They read Twitter questions and answered them on stage. The question was "What's the number one song played on your iPod?" and Louis introduces the question to Harry with "Harry, got any indie bands we haven't heard of?"

Here's the video. The question is at 2:06, first he talks to Zayn, then Niall, then at 2:36 to Harry.

This isn't a one-time incident, but it's one I distinctly remember (because I went to multiple shows of that tour and followed it closely!) and can physically point out. It happened multiple times. It was a Thing Louis mocked him about constantly. Keep in mind, Louis was 21 when this happened, a fully developed grown adult who had been in the industry for three years and was a professional musician.

Why do I say this? Does it bother me that he mocked Harry? No, that's just banter lmao. But what bothers me is that a few years later, he would rebrand as someone who enjoyed indie music, as an indie musician himself, who enjoyed and propped up unknown bands. And his fans would act like Harry was the popstar who made and enjoyed shallow music and Louis was a rock connoisseur all along.

At 21 Louis... distinctly wasn't that person - he also wasn't that person at 22, or 23, or 24, he started being that person in 2017, when he decided to craft his entire persona around being a Donny chav who gave you a two-finger salute and wore trackies to red carpet events.

Louis didn't even try to act like his musical style was indie rock back then. in the early 2010s there was a type of social media called Ping where you could log in songs that you liked. It was connected to your Twitter account and your iTunes account. Because in late 2012 (Louis was almost 21, might I add), it was about to shut down, a fan (a Larrie) documented the whole thing in screenshots. Here's the post. Of course they make everything about their conspiracy, but the account was legit (connected to his verified Twitter account) and the post made the rounds on normal Tumblr, so I remember seeing it at the time and saving it because it was interesting.

Some of the songs that he added to his Ping:

Thinking of You, Part of Me, Wide Awake, and the entire Teenage Dream album by Katy Perry

Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars

Look After You by The Fray

Someone Like You by Adele

Far Away by Nickelback (he got this as a tattoo lol)

Who Knew by Pink

Bedshaped by Keane

I'm With You Avril Lavigne

Take Care by Drake

Yellow, Shiver, Talk, Fix You by Coldplay

Moves Like Jagger and Payphone by Maroon 5

It Girl by Jason Derulo

Without You by David Guetta & Usher

Love Story and We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

Domino by Jessie J

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt

Titanium by Sia and David Guetta

Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye

Turn Up The Music by Chris Brown

Let's Go by Calvin Harris

Mr. Brightside and Somebody Told Me by The Killers

We Are Young by Fun.

Stop And Stare by OneRepublic

She Moves In Her Own Way by The Kooks

Basket Case and Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

I Miss You by Blink 182

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous by Good Charlotte

Bright Lights (the album) by Ellie Goulding

Believe (the album) by Justin Bieber

Naive by Lily Allen

Imagine by John Lennon

How We Do (Party) by Rita Ora

All of these songs are heavy rotation radio hits. I'm not sure how many people will see this post, if any, but if it happens upon any young Gen Z or Gen Alpha eyes, who happen to not know some of these, they're literally just... the most played songs on the radio at the time, and Imagine by John Lennon (which was the only song older than 2000 in his entire Ping).

The only bands he has on this entire log, are Two Door Cinema Club, who you might say "oh wait, that's indie isn't it?" except they reached #2 in the UK albums chart in 2012, when this log happened. Literally following trends once again. Same thing goes for Owl City, it's a somewhat indie project, but they had a big hit (certified Diamond and hit #1 in the UK and the US), Louis logged in the project immediately after this song made it big. A bunch of John Mayer songs, who in 2012 was hyper-mainstream. Or the #1 album Coexist by The XX. And songs from the #1 album in the UK Contrast, by Conor Maynard. That plus the incredibly mainstream hits by some more rockish bands (I'm surprised he didn't log in American Idiot by Green Day) and pop. That's it.

What about Oasis? It's there.

Stop The Clocks - a greatest hits record.

Stop Crying Your Heart out - literally the #3 most popular song of theirs on Spotify

Little By Little - a huge hit off one of their latest albums (33 million YouTube Views, 85 million Spotify plays)

I'm sure he enjoyed himself some Oasis. He was a British boy growing up in the late 90s and early 2000s. It'd be weird if he didn't. But he never talked about going to see them growing up (he was 16 when they played in England for the last time). He logged in just one album, and it was a greatest hits. He logged in two songs, and they were both huge hits. He logged in a ton of songs by Coldplay, or Katy Perry. Hell, he has more songs logged in for DRAKE than Oasis.

It's obviously not definite proof, but he had that Ping account for two years, and all his iTunes purchases or likes showed up. I also don't remember him mentioning them in any particular way throughout his time in the band. Nor him mentioning going to see them. Or wearing their merch. Or...

Despite both Liam and Noel having a Twitter account as far back as 2009/2010, Louis didn't follow either of them until 2017

So that in and of itself is bizarre for someone who in 2017 would give a million different interviews specifically mentioning Oasis and Liam Gallagher, right?

But the most egregious part of his pretend act, is that he's just flat out wrong about Oasis in and of itself.

First of all, in every single interview he mentions Oasis, he singles out Liam Gallagher. You can look it up, because frankly, there's so many interviews where he does this that I could probably be here forever. He talks about Liam Gallagher so much it's almost obnoxious (and we'll get on to that in part 2), but he almost never talks about Noel. Who he mentions is Liam. Even though he says Oasis was a huge part of his inspiration as an artist, who he mentions is Liam. And this is in the context of Oasis, as a band who inspired him growing up, not Liam Gallagher as a solo artist. OASIS. Liam.

To the uninitiated on Oasis, Liam is my favorite because he's great. He's funny, he's charming, he has a distinct voice that makes Oasis stand out. He's a mean tambourine player. But to name Liam as your inspiration when you admire Oasis, as a musician, is akin to doing that with Ringo and The Beatles.

Just so we're clear, this is the writing credits for their debut album:

Their second album

Third album

Shall I go on?

Liam doesn't play instruments, except the maracas or the aforementioned tambourine. Noel:

Just:

You have to actively ignore everything about the band to pretend that your inspiration, musically, as a musician, is LIAM GALLAGHER if you actively like Oasis. What the hell are we talking about?

To be clear, Louis didn't say in these interviews that he admired Liam's vocals (which he could never in a million years imitate, and I beg him not to try), or attitude, or charisma, or fucking tambourine expertise. He talked about lyrics, and music, and songwriting. And yet, he never mentioned Noel Gallagher. IN THE CONTEXT OF TALKING ABOUT OASIS.

Listen, I fucking hate Noel Gallagher. He's a c*nt. But I happen to like Oasis, and I know, despite how much I despise him, that Oasis wouldn't exist without him.

So why did Louis mention Liam??? Well, two main reasons.

His fans don't give a fuck. They don't care about his musical opinions because they're not fans of his music or him as a musician. It's why they don't listen to it. They're fans of his status as a purported underdog or the conspiracy theories surrounding him, or rate him as a part of the band they once liked. Some of them pity follow him. He could say his musical inspiration is Miley Cyrus because of how well she plays banjo and it'd make absolutely no difference for them. Also, most of them are musically illiterate and would find a way to justify anything he says, despite being completely nonsensical, if they even listen to him in the first place.

Because of #1, Louis has been on a quest to capture a specific type of audience. He tried to capture the 1D audience with Just Hold On and Back To You (which are songs that are actually up his alley in terms of the music he consumed). But despite being his best commercially performing songs, they failed to actually and significantly move the needle. And he saw the writing on the wall even in the middle of promo for Back To You. Which is why he gave up trying to be commercially successful with that crowd and has been relentlessly trying to shift his audience.

It's why he wears sweatpants and sneakers everywhere, why he called himself a chav in 2017/2018, why the horrible haircuts, why the constant smoking and drinking in promo pics, why the pivot to "actually, I'm a die hard indie enthusiast" even though four years prior he mocked his bandmate for that exact musical taste. It's why he markets his own music as indie, rock, etc, even though it's decidedly not. It's why he does the photoshoots he does, hires the people he hires, and has the bands he has in his narcissistic "festival."

It's put-up on. I suspect it's partially borne out of deep insecurity and wanting to appeal to the type of guy he went to school with. I think his mates, despite enjoying the wealth of 1D's success, took the piss out of him for being in a boyband. This is pure speculation, but we're talking about the guys who openly retweet Andrew Tate (Nizam Kabir), or mocked his singing voice in his ex girlfriend's posts...

Let's actually expand on that, Hannah Walker, Louis' ex girlfriend, uploaded a video to her instagram account singing with a sore throat. It was captioned "sore throat singing" and this is what one of his "best friends" from childhood, Calvin Rodgers, commented on it:

This wasn't some gentle banter either, this was around a point in time where Calvin and Louis weren't hanging out (2013/2014). I actually saw Hannah's post and the comments a few years ago, but her account has gone private since.

"Calvin (unprompted) In theory, the singing wasn't AS flat as Louis" another friend (Dan Woollet) replies "Fair point" to which Calvin replies "Not only fair, but true." Hannah replies "controversial."

Louis cheated on Hannah with Eleanor (I can do a deep dive on that later), and at first Hannah didn't know, so she and Louis were on good terms, but she has been openly very negative about Louis ever since late 2011.

Calvin is also a musician, by the way. His comment was fair and true. Louis' singing IS flat. I doubt he'd say that to his face when he's on good terms with him, especially because he greatly benefits from Louis' money and status (his friends have mooched everything from access to events, to paid vacations on yachts by being with him, to outright jobs). But from things Louis has said in interviews, such as "I don't have a skincare routine because my friends would make fun of me" or "if I showed up wearing designer clothes my friends would never let me hear the end of it," it does seem like he has this need to fit in and seek approval from these idiots. I'll never understand it, and I'm not going to try and psychoanalyze him (and he doesn't wanna do therapy because he's too good for therapy anyway), but I think he wouldn't be seeking this audience otherwise.

His attempts have clearly failed. His music is consumed less and less. He's at 2.4 million monthly listeners on Spotify. Just so we're clear, Spotify has a chart of the most monthly listeners per artist, where they chart the first 500 artists from 1 to 500. #1 currently is The Weeknd with 107M. #2 is Billie Eilish. Harry is #53 without having released music in 2 and a half years (which is amazing).

The #500 is Lynyrd Skynyrd with 16,147,684 monthly listeners. Louis would have to gain 14 MILLION monthly listeners to be at the bottom of the list. That is SEVEN TIMES the total amount he has right now. That's how bad it is.

His fans don't listen to his music. They're just incredibly annoying online because their idea of stanning him or being his fan is Twitter, and TikTok, and some of them on Tumblr and never shutting up despite having zero actual arguments to back anything up (which is why I'm venting on this blog, and potentially giving Harries tools to shut these idiots up because I know how annoying they are).

I think he's still trying to market himself this way because deep down he still wants the acceptance of his high school buddies and other men like them, and his idea of cool is (deluding himself into believing to) have a career that his buddies would actually respect (as opposed to 1D).

To close off this part of the post, I'll leave with the worst part. How do I know he's not and was never a fan of Oasis? How do I know that he's lying when he says they were his inspiration as an artist?

Well, this:

He said variations of this multiple times in multiple interviews. He bashed metaphors a ton, for instance:

“[So how you classify your genre?] Oh, that’s a big question. Wow, that’s hard. In terms of what I’m looking for from a production point of view, I want things to sound organic and live. Not too many programmed instruments. I want it to feel authentic. From a lyric perspective, almost like indie-pop, very conversational. All these sexy metaphors people put in their music? I ain’t got time for that. I like it straight to the point. It’s hard to classify it as a particular genre.”

Source.

Here's another he gave for MTV:

Though "Back to You" is certifiably pop, Tomlinson grew up loving guitar-based rock bands, he said, and that when it came time to sit down and create solo music of his own, he found inspiration in the acts from his youth: mainly Oasis and Arctic Monkeys, both from Northern England (like Tomlinson). "The way that they write I've always found very interesting because, you know, if you look at a pop song fundamentally, lyrically it's very different to the conversational style that Arctic Monkeys or Oasis might use, and that's exciting to me," Tomlinson said.

All I can say is.. What the actual fuck is he talking about?

Obviously I have a lot more that I can say. But. WHAT?

Let's ignore Arctic Monkeys, because yes, I would absolutely call "honest and to the point" early Arctic Monkeys. Honest meh, because early AM was so conversational and so casual and about such mundane things that honesty wasn't really a factor, but whatever. It was incredibly to the point. BUT OASIS? OASIS??? Honest and to the point? OASIS?? OASIS??

Just so we're clear, the most mainstream song Oasis has ever released is Wonderwall. Everyone knows that song, correct? What the fuck is a wonderwall? That is not A WORD.

The word "wonderwall" came from a George Harrison album. And the lyrics have absolutely nothing to do with it. The song itself is a "Hollywood-esque song" that talks about "some unfathomable crazy love story."

The entire premise of wonderwall is that one person who's always there for you, but told in an abstract metaphorical way. That is by definition the opposite of what Louis said he wanted and liked.

In fact, Oasis FAMOUSLY worship the ground The Beatles walk on. Hell, Liam named his kid fucking LENNON. One of the most known facts about The Beatles was the amount of fucking NONSENSE they wrote in their lyrics. I Am The Walrus?! Like, this is music 101. Louis you are supposed to be a musician (yet play no instruments).

The second most mainstream song by Oasis is Champagne Supernova.

This is a verse from that song:

Wake up the dawn and ask her why A dreamer dreams she never dies Wipe that tear away now from your eye Slowly walking down the hall Faster than a cannonball Where were you while we were gettin' high?

Exactly what part of this is honest and to the point? I thought he hated metaphors?

Remember the songs he Pinged? Let's see those lyrics.

Little By Little

'Cause little by little We gave you everything you ever dreamed of Little by little The wheels of your life have slowly fallen off Little by little You have to give it all in all your life And all the time I just asked myself why, you really here?

I'm gonna go insane. What the fuck did he mean by "honest and to the point" immediately after saying the word "Oasis"? Is he OKAY? Is he having a stroke and smelling colors? How else can he describe this as "honest and to the point"?

The other song was Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Hold up Hold on Don't be scared You'll never change what's been and gone May your smile (May your smile) Shine on (Shine on) Don't be scared (Don't be scared) Your destiny may keep you warm

I'm swimming in directness and honesty here, you guys. I can't believe how to the point these lyrics are! Metaphors? Never knew 'em! Soooo conversational!

But maybe I'm cherry picking songs, and the rest of Oasis' discography actually fits what Louis said, right? RIGHT?!

Let's look at Stop The Clocks, the Greatest Hits album Louis pinged back in 2012. Literally the first verse of the songs in order. Just so we're very clear.

Rock 'N Roll Star

I live my life for the stars that shine People say, "It's just a waste of time" Then they said, "I should feed my head" That to me was just a day in bed I'll take my car and drive real far They're not concerned about the way we are In my mind my dreams are real Now you concerned about the way I feel Tonight I'm a rock 'n' roll star

Some Might Say

Some might say that sunshine follows thunder Go and tell it to the man who cannot shine Some might say that we should never ponder On our thoughts today' cause they hold sway over time

Talk Tonight

Sittin' on my own, chewin' on a bone A thousand million miles from home When something hit me Somewhere right between the eyes Sleepin' on a plane, you know you can't complain You took your last chance once again I landed, stranded Hardly even knew your name

Lyla

Calling all the stars to fall And catch the silver sunlight in your hands Come for me and set me free Lift me up and take me where I stand She believes in everything And everyone and you and yours and mine I waited for a thousand years For you to come and blow me out my mind

The Importance of Being Idle

I sold my soul for the second time 'Cause the man don't pay me I begged my landlord for some more time He said, "Son, the bills are waiting" My best friend called me the other night He said, "Man, are you crazy?" My girlfriend told me to get a life She said, "Boy, you lazy"

Seriously I wanna sit down and ask this man what the hell he was talking about. How can he, with a straight face, say that LIAM GALLAGHER was his musical inspiration growing up because of the lyrics of OASIS, and how straight and to the point, devoid of metaphors, they were. It's the most nonsensical talking point I've ever heard. If he was even remotely relevant the way people would've laughed their head off at him saying this would´ve been diabolical.

He said Oasis and Arctic Monkeys because they fit the persona he wanted to build (even geographically).

There are SO many actual indie bands from up north who write the type of lyrics he claims he likes, but he's too lazy to actually do research into this put-upon image he chose for himself (I hardly think a competent group of people was behind any of it).

He changed his hair, his facial hair, his clothing style, the way he talks, walks, the words he says, how he stands in front of a microphone, his facial expressions, the aesthetic surrounding him, even the people and teams he hired for his career, to cosplay Liam Gallagher. This isn't a case of inspiration. Inspiration is normal. It happens in art every single day. Everything we do is an amalgamation of stuff others have done before. Everything is invented. I want to make it very clear that I don't find any of that problematic in any way.

But Louis is an inch away from wearing the skin of Liam Gallagher as a winter coat. I'll actually dive deep into that in a second part of this post, because it really does go SO deep.

And I sincerely doubt he likes him or his music all that much. He just likes the idea of people viewing him like they view Liam and the "respect" he would get from men.

[not-the-conversation-starter]

The Death Of A Website.

tl;dr click source to see an AU of my blog.

As many of you may not have heard, Cohost has gone read only. The website infamous for "Zero Discoverability" and its users "Not Being Funny." Servers will close down at the end of 2024, if not earlier, being backed up on the Internet Archive before that. Since their user counts were still low after 2 years (about half of all sign ups ever were from people evacuating twitter, which then didn't know how to use the site so most left almost immediately. Kind of hilarious) they didn't feel like anymore money bleeding OR the fact that a staff of only four people being on call 24/7 was worth it anymore.

However,

the people who DID use the site loved it. And they did some genuinely cool things on it, far cooler than anything I ever saw even in the glory days of Tumblr. You know, like Finn and Jake hi-fiving between 2 posts. Stuff like a playable maze, or a fully navigable 3d room you move around in with your mouse entirely within a post. They really did some cool stuff.

There were also a ton of really talented people, people like the composer Lena Raine(Celeste/Minecraft) who loved the site because you could just. Actually talk to people on it! Without an algorithm to boost their posts, the only people who saw it were genuinely looking for it.

Also some of them were just good posters, we did get Pikmin 18 billion and eleven from Cohost after all.

The point is, I think if anyone outside of Cohost actually knew what was being done on Cohost, it would of succeeded. There would of been enough active users for them to invest more. If I knew about all of this I would of been there way more!

But rather than just you blindly believing me, I decided to spend (almost) every hour I would of on Tumblr, on Cohost instead. Clicking that link, or the source, or the link on the source above in the tl;dr, will take you to my Cohost blog. At least while it's still read-only.

You should check it out. I reblogged a lot, but the first page or 2 (every 20 posts, I kept trying to stop but I got sentimental and reblogged more) is pretty much just people's last posts. I'd say give it 3 pages to see if you're interested or not in exploring more of what the website has to offer.

If you've ever wondered what people would post on a dying website,

If you ever wondered what some of the best posts people were making on Cohost that got shared again in its last dying moments were,

If you want some reference for what inside jokes would look like to an outsider,

If you're just bored and need something to scroll through,

if you ever wondered what I would of reblogged on that website if I remembered my password easily enough to log back in easily...

You could think of my blog as a small encapsulation of a small website. There's only 60 pages, including the ones from before the announcement from me just rarely using the site!

I reblogged all kinds of posts. Goodbyes, sarcastic hellos, mourning, long speeches about the spirit of Cohost set to sad music, nothing burgers, inside jokes I didn't understand, The New Garfield, posts I flat out didn't read past the title because they were too long and I just wanted to move on really there's a lot of posts to archive, CSS crimes, stuff I found funny, "Where to find me" and webrings and website posts for people I never knew, Love Honk, reviews for movies and games I never intend to play or watch, 88x31 buttons, music recommendations and history, entire games, signing up for RSS feeds, asks and answers related to other stuff I didn't share on accident, regular memes, Intern Secretary Eggbug, a post that's just an image hosted off-site so it'll update even after readonly, and so on.

(Nothing overtly NSFW. Tag search still works if you want that)

One that I, personally, am sad is gone. That I'm glad I got to see at least in its dying days. That I genuinely hope someone makes another attempt at creating.

[dtupdates-archive]

♡—DREAM posted a thread on Twitter. Transcript under the cut

I’ve been harassed for almost a year, due to a false accusation right after my face reveal. this person publicly said they’d be “pressing charges” and “posting proof” but it could take “days” and then went silent for a year, and never did either while I waited and waited.

someone that less than a week before the accusation, was liking and replying to my tweets positively, deleted dms and called people doubting her “jealous” that I didn’t want them instead, admitted they considered lying about their age to try and dm me weeks before they turned 18.

this one false accusation turned into Dream talked to kids, there’s tons of accusations, Dream never denied it, Dream was exposed fiddling kids, and so much worse. All due to past parasocialness (that, yes, I can be to blame for)

I talked on stream about how I’m going to make a detailed video, with logs, screenshots, and evidence, and gave some bullet points, and it got completely clipped out of context and spread somehow as the lie that I “admitted everything”.

Then the moving of the goalposts started to “he may not have SEXTED anyone, BUT grooming is just messaging someone underage, and he admitted she dmd him!” and then digging into my sex life, or my relationship history (with only people older than me ??)

It’s such a shit show, and I get it. I’m the cringe Minecraft guy that was fat, that makes bad music, that’s from Florida and has said offensive things, that cheated, that’s stubborn and an asshole and racist and homophobic and doesn’t manage his rabid fans, manipulates, etc

but don’t let you thinking that I’m “bad either way” make you stomp all over real victims future stories, or devalue what “grooming” is to make sure I fit the definition. and I know I’m not convincing anyone on Twitter that’s made their mind up. Just feels right to share finally

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog 36 | 11.26.23 ๋࣭⭑

:rises from the dead: I'm.... BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Long time, no talk (kinda) everyone! I hope you've been happy, healthy, and well since we last saw each other and that the wind-down for the year is being kind to you all <3

We have a lot to catch up on, so let's do just that ^^ This is.... so long. I'm really sorry in advance tbh---I thought I hadn't done much because break, but there's quite a bit to show.

It's been a while since a formal update on the routes, so I'll start by telling you all where they officially stand. Before I do, it might be helpful to tell you all how I define percentage completion in my head. Basically, when I finish the draft of a route, I consider it 70% complete. This means I could ship it as is. I wouldn't be happy with the product, but it's playable and makes enough sense---just not the best quality.

When Wudgey finishes their edits, a route is 80%-85% complete, meaning I could ship it as is. I think it'd be pretty good actually and players would be happy. Beyond this point, I am just making fine tuning edits to incorporate more player interaction, polishing the flow of things, etc.

After that, there's basically only Elm and Vi's edits left. When Elm finishes, a route is 95% complete. Again, I think at this point, it's good. Like edits from this point onwards are purely for polishing purpose. After Vi, it's 98% complete. Then the last review comes back to Elm and I for it to be 100% complete. Right now, this is where the routes stand:

Kayn: 98% Complete

Fenir: 95% Complete

Druk: 80% Complete

Etza: 60% Complete (Still working on their draft!)

Do Not ask me about Kuna'a or Aisa LFMASOEIDJ

So most of the routes are actually looking pretty good! They're just getting bounced around to different editors at this point, but the changes made for most of them are basically small. Fenir and Kayn especially could be shipped as is in my eyes if I really wanted to.

Art recently has mostly been focused on commissions. Vui actually is almost done with ALL of the BGs for Alaris!! Isn't that crazy?? In about a year, he was able to create almost 25 BGs with daytime variations!!! He's a phenomenal artist, and I couldn't be happier to be working with him. It's also a bit bittersweet (and alarming??) to know that part of development is already close to ending! q.q

The most exciting art update I have is that we got the GUI assets finished and I've started coding them into the game!! AAAA!! These were the final updated assets I needed, and seeing the fully revamped demo come to life has been so.... Emotional HAHA! It's crazy to see how far Alaris has come from when I was first making it with my little fingies and throwing things together like paper mache. I'm incredibly in love with how all the assets look together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the artists who helped me update the assets!

Updated History Log. Please say you like the dividers between entries---I'm most proud of those

I'm still making my way through coding everything, but here's a couple screen previews so you all can see how things now look in the game!!

First off, is the Dialogue/Choice Screen. You can see that we have a brand new dialogue box (She's Stunning) and Choice Screen! I'm hoping to add some sfx for the choices when you hover over them, and sfx for the new UI in general so there's more user feedback when you click and hover on things. But for now, enjoy this preview of the new dialogue box, choice screen, and the new personality indicators!

Updated Dialogue/Choice Screen: You can't see it as well in GIF format, but the BG also has particles floating around, so there's a tiny bit of animation going on in some of the BGs as well!!

Next, we have the Free Time Screen. I actually posted this on Twitter recently but I don't think I posted it on Tumblr! ISN'T SHE STUNNING... ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BGS.... I'm especially happy with the text animations that show up at the bottom when you hover over the different choices! I was inspired by a couple other devs (specifically GUI god, @siyo-koy, and renpy animation master @just-a-carrot) to start incorporating animation style elements into my GUI. And I really like how it adds a little ~something~ to the feel of everything ^^

Updated Free Time Screen: begging someone to say they like the text animation so I feel validated for finangling with it

Finally, for our last preview, we have the Save Screen! While it looks new obviously with the new assets, I also did a lot of backend coding revamping for how it actually functions since my coding experience is a bit better now compared to when I was first fighting for my life figuring out save/load screens. The biggest change for you all is that there are now chapter markers so save slots will tell you what chapter that save file is from! And instead of screenshots, it's now a custom icon inside that shows the chapter card. I think it'll make the save screen look more cohesive now and hopefully more intuitive as well!!

Updated Save Screen: With a sprinkle of updated Chapter Card screen preview

That was long. Are any of us surprised, considering I had two months' worth of devlogs piled inside of me, begging to burst from the seams?

Anyways. Only two miscellaneous updates. One is that all soundtracks have been completed for Alaris! Peter finished the last of them recently, and they're all beautiful!!! For ppl who love piano soundtracks... :holds hand in piano lover solidarity:

Other update is that I finally fixed that godforsaken sprite bug that was associated with the energy vision feature from the demo!!! FINALLY!!! AFTER.... SO LONG. Extremely huge thanks to @robobarbie for taking time out of their day to do that; everyone please say thank you!!!!! OGs know how long that bug was bothering me!!!! Robo also gave me a pretty new rain code, so I'm showing you how both look in the new demo so you can appreciate them with me!!

Last miscellaneous update is more on a.... logistical development level?? Basically, now that I have new GUI assets to code, that means I can get a beta build of the routes currently written out. I was feeling really overwhelmed by that idea because most of this year has been focused on writing and making assets, not really coding. Knowing that I can Code and get Playable Builds out to people was stressful because I have to divvy up my time a bit more.

After an extremely insightful talk with beloved and admired Esh of @steamberrystudio I decided I'm probably going to be shifting how development goes from here on out. Instead of focusing head low on getting as many words written for the remaining routes everyday, I'm going to be making smaller but consistent progress and spend the rest of my time coding so that I can have more of a continuous cycle of production going on (e.g., writing a bit, making playable builds, gathering playtester feedback, etc. instead of doing each stage in blocked, sequential order).

I'm mainly telling you all this because it means writing updates will probably seem slower from this point on, but I think production overall will be more efficient because of it! This is also exciting news for playtesters and/or early access backers/patrons because it means you'll have playable content in the near future for content outside of just the demo :')

have u all heard of wudgeous of herotome. of course u have. they r all i talk about at this point

No market research because I've actually been addicted to BG3 LFMAOLSDJF. Actually, I'm taking some inspiration from it for the personality mechanic but eh.

On a more important note, @herotome demo is coming out December 2nd!!!! PLAY IT WITH ME. Wudgey is my editor, so you might think I'm biased but I'M NOT!!! I WAS A FAN OF HEROTOME BEFORE WUDGEY EVEN WORKED W ME!!! They have an exception eye for detail and player experience, and they are actually one of the devs that inspired me to even get into game development.

I just know the demo is going to blow everyone's socks off. OG Herotome prologue build fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Please mark December 2nd on your calendar---you will not regret it.

This was so unbelievably long, but I hope it's appreciated since there was no real devlog update for a hot minute. As always, Thank you all for your patience and continued support. With the year ending soon, I'm getting wrapped up in my feels in usual Crescence fashion. I am a Cancer so no one is surprised.

Next month will probably be more of an end-of-year devlog rather than the usual format. I know the devlogs of late have been all over the place, but once we get into the new year, it will be back to business as usual! Hope you all have a wonderful end to your year; I'll talk to you soon! <3

[suzuran777]

Unreleased & cancelled BL visual novels

Recently I purchased some second-hand BL visual novel magazines, and while reading them, I realized just how many of these announced games were never actually released. I thought it could maybe be interesting to compile a list of these games. I will mention which games were officially cancelled, but the status of most of these games is completely unknown. Perhaps they will still be released one day, but some of these publishers also don't seem to exist anymore. The magazines I used to find most of this information are Binetsu Ouji, B's Log and Cool-B!

Ouka Otsu - Shinshuu Kikou Senki (【櫻華堕つ) Publisher: Fareastblade This story of this game was supposed to take place during the Second World War. A famous researcher called Dr. Kisaragi Akira made it possible for the Japanese empire to develop cyborgs with super human strength. However, the United States also developed cyborgs and their creator intends to destroy Kisagari's research. Kisaragi escapes and seeks the help of the few surviving cyborgs, who all have their own reasons for helping him even though they don't like him. Part of this game was released as an e-book and translations can be found here. I am surprised the developers stopped publishing information about this project because I frequently saw it in Cool-B. Back then they published a lot of information, CGs and even short stories. Their last blog update was posted in 2016 in which they explained how things have been difficult and they decided to temporarily suspend the project. However, they never returned to confirm when production would be resumed. Secretly, I still hope that this game will be released one day, there's so much content already and it all seems really promising, but the official website doesn't work anymore and the Twitter account was also deleted. Some of the staff who worked on the game did mention how they still wanted to complete the project one day, but it has also been some years since these tweets were posted,

Angel's Feather Onsen mono Publisher: Blue impact This was supposed to be the third, and final Angel's Feather game. Some Japanese websites mention that the game's staff left the company, which was probably the reason why this game was never released. The magazines mention how the name of this game was just a placeholder name at the time (literally Angel's Feather hot spring story) but I could not find if they ever announced the real title. Some CGs were published in magazines and it looks like it was supposed to be light-hearted fandisc, focusing on the characters spending time with each other and having fun at the hot springs.

White Shadow Publisher: Blue Impact According to the official website, which can still be accessed through Wayback Machine, the first information about this project was published in Binetsu Ouji in 2004. Similar to the third Angel's Feather game, there's not much hope that it will ever be released because the staff that originally worked on it quit. This means that sadly, Angel's Feather was Blue Impact's first and last BL visual novel series. It was supposed to be a post-apocalyptic story which takes place after a long-lasting war that destroyed most of the planet. Some humans survived, who clung to a small piece of land that had survived the disaster. The people who live could be classified into three types, normal humans without supernational powers, humans who have characteristics of other creatures (for example animal characteristics), and people with strong supernational powers. This game was also featured on the cover of Cool-B volume 2. The regular updates that were posted on the official website make it look like the game was almost finished before the employees quit, so it's really a shame it was never released.

Torus Zero/ 0 -Torus (トーラス・ZERO) Publisher: CORE This is another one of these games that is mentioned pretty often in older magazines and was also featured on the cover of Cool-B (volume 4). The publisher CORE, became quite well-known in the industry after releasing Messiah, but Torus Zero was the project they originally wanted to release first. Before Messiah was released, they also released another visual novel called Fanatica, which upon reaching the final ending, mentioned how the story would be continued in Torus Zero. Unfortunately some of CORE's staff officially announced that they couldn't continue their projects after a big earthquake struck Japan in 2011. Now there's actually a bit of hope for this project because a few weeks ago, the artist Carnelian, announced a completely new project called Tokyo Gentou/Tokyo Phantasmagoria. In the magazine article it was mentioned that similar to CORE, a new BL game branch called Procyon would be releasing this new game. In an interview published in Cool-B volume 111 they mentioned that they came up with some of these ideas a long time ago, so I do wonder if they will use some elements of Torus Zero in this new game. Originally, Torus Zero focused on protagonist Riku who somehow ended up in a world in which he was the only human.

Unnamed project Publisher: CORE This game was only slightly teased in magazines and according to old BL game info website BOY-S STREET, the images were only on the website for a short time before it seemed like the entire project was scrapped and replaced with Torus Zero. It was supposed to be a school setting, but the main character is actually a demon and has two personalities.

Tenrin no Guneval (天輪のグネーヴァル) Publisher: Madalabo/Claw Mark A sci-fi story in which shadow creatures attack earth. Humans with special abilities saved mankind from this crisis. These characters all have their own special ability, some use fire or wind to fight while others can distort space. Technology also advanced, and flying motorbikes called 'Guneval' are used. This game was announced in 2012 and surprisingly the website can still be accessed, however it has been removed from all upcoming game lists in magazines and the last update on the website was only 4 months after the game was originally announced. Other than the usual visual novel gameplay, it was also supposed to have battle scenes in which you could control the main character to fight enemies. I'm kind of sad they never released this game because it seemed pretty interesting! Madalabo is mostly known for their other game Hadaka Shitsuji which seemed to be...the complete opposite of the story described on this game's website. I also really like superhero themes and the art is nice, so it's really a shame it never got released.

Shokushu Densetsu (触手伝説) Publisher: Madalabo Another Madalabo project that never got released. The title means 'legend of the tentacles' so I think you can already guess what this game is about. In 2011 they released a short booklet with some of the game's concept art, the characters, and other ideas for different future games. You can actually still buy a digital version of the booklet on DLsite here! You might even recognize some of these early concepts, as some of them were eventually used to create Kanja S (Patient S).

Nihon ni Natta Yoru (2本になった夜) Publisher: HardG.Lab This is… a strange one, the protagonist Taki Naruse is an ordinary university student who's busy with his homework and assignments. One day when he's forced to do a large number of tasks he decides to go to his lecturer to complain, but Taki gets ignored and his lecturer suddenly decides this is a perfect opportunity to check the new drug he has been developing. Long story short, Taki suddenly grows another dick (yep...). His lecturer suggests Taki uses his body to sleep with other men to ''cure'' his condition. I think this game was announced somewhere in 2011 and they published some information about it in Cool-B, but the official social media accounts were all deleted eventually.

New World Order Publisher: Love Delivery (HolicWorks) "When you die, say hello to God for me". This game was announced in 2015 and takes place in the United Kingdom. It focuses on a young British man called Lyr who works as a pastor at a church. He’s good at material arts and also knows how to use a gun. Together with three of his fellow pastors, he’s on a mission to kill. These are not just normal pastors, they’re professional assassins. I made a separate blog post about this some time ago, so if you want to read more you can find it here! The project was unfortunately officially cancelled in November 2022.

Heimskringla Publisher: Tyrant (HolicWorks) A dystopian future in which people developed the ability to see when a dead person’s soul leaves their body. The world once fell apart, but was then revided once more. In this new distorted world, humans started adapting to the environment and refugees from all over the world drifted to this country. As a result of this, it became a melting pot of many different races and towns continue to develop their own individual cultures. Five people, with five completely different backgrounds and birthplaces, travel together towards a certain place. There is only one thing all of them are looking for. Death. This game was officially cancelled in 2018, but it's quite hard to find any traces of it because Tyrant's official Twitter account was also deleted. I also wrote a blog post about it which you can check out here.

Gekka Souei (月下双影) Publisher: NOEL Two childhood friends who became enemies due to unfortunate circumstances. This game was supposed to focus on protagonist Hayate and two groups of shinobi, taking place in a modern day setting. It was quite hard to find information about this game because even with Wayback Machine you can't find much on the website. I happened to find a pretty good image of it on Twitter, posted by a user who happened to save some of the wallpapers back then. A little bit of information about this game was published in B'sLOG and in Cool-B, but only in 2006. Looking at the little bit of information I was able to find on the website, it seems like they had quite a lot of plans and wanted to add roleplay elements to this game too, as well as a SFW and 18+ version of the game. The magazines introduced quite a lot of characters and the interview with the developers (in Cool-B volume 10) mentions that they had planned to create five routes. They didn't really specify which characters, but I assume it's the ones that can be seen in the main visual?

Psychedelic (サイケデリック) Publisher: LOVE&DESTROY Another game that is not officially cancelled, but the publisher is working on multiple new projects and the official website has not been updated since 2014. The game takes place in Shibuya, Japan and focuses on five good friends who always hang out together. Will these normal days last forever? They promoted this game as being ''all reverse'' so you could choose which character tops/bottoms which is pretty rare nowadays. In 2018 LOVE&DESTROY mentioned that the project was currently 'on-hold' and it's still unknown if they ever decide to create the game.

Tsukiiro Tanshikyoku (月色譚詩曲) Publisher: Adelta & MonstreCarameliser I think most BLVN fans immediately recognize Kurosawa Rinko's artstyle, who's well known for creating Hashihime and Uuultra C. This game is also not officially cancelled, but there hasn't been any news for years. It was announced in 2018 as a second collab between Adelta and MonstreCarameliser (a year before that they released the short game Umiiro Kyoushikyoku). The website still works, but it was only updated a few times in 2018 and once in 2020. The game focuses on Kaguya, a heir of a certain kingdom (probably some kind of god realm if I look at the names of the characters) who was only interested in women and spending his parents' money. His parents eventually give up on him and send him down to planet earth, in the form of a baby. A young shunga painter (shunga = erotic art) called Takemasu finds him and takes care of him. However, Kaguya grows much faster than the inhabitants of the planet and regains his adult body within a few days.

Hashihime Fandisc Publisher: Adelta Every time I mention this people ask me if they really announced it, but yes, two fandiscs even! A 'good end' and 'bad end' one. It was announced in 2018, but only mentioned once in a blog post and in Cool-B magazine. It is not officially cancelled but they haven't posted anything about it ever since. It's actually still in Cool-B's upcoming game list, however usually when a game gets cancelled it just one day disappears from the list, without any explanation, so I don't want to be too hopeful. I think it's very possible that it was announced because a lot of other games also have fandiscs so it seemed like a good idea at the time, but Adelta started working on Uuultra C after this and is currently working on their new game Ooe, as well as their original drama CD series.

No Thank You!! OVA Publisher: parade Not a game announcement, but I still decided to include it. One of the tweets announcing it can still be found here, and no it was not posted on April Fools'… I think it was mentioned again a few months after the original announcement, but it has already been 10 years and they haven't mentioned it ever since.

[swords-of-a-soilder]

Bless you for compiling what’s going on with that ex-bird app. It’s been genuinely insightful for me to understand the thoughts of the kinds of people behind those accounts.

That person trying to cancel creators for associating with Forever (and probably advocating for his lore to be excised from the server) saying “but I can’t possibly give up guapoduo, it’s My Hyperfixation” is very telling. Hypocrisy specifically in the context of “separating the art from the artist” isn’t something I’ve seen before, shockingly, so I guess I get to add that to my Social Media Discourse Bingo. (I had an online friend in 2016 who I was terrified to talk about my interests with because I didn’t know what angry punk teenagers on tumblr had deemed “evil and disgusting”, and even SHE stopped listening to some of her favorite metal bands when she learned they were homophobic, and had absolute turmoil when she learned that David Bowie might have allegedly slept with an underage groupie in the 70s. Her constant, unpredictable rage at seemingly random pieces of media was awful for my mental health, but at least she wasn’t a genuine hypocrite.)

Also that tone of “I’ve had good memories here… but I just can’t handle it anymore.” It sounds like someone whose meaningful but soul-crushing work has finally broken them, almost sounding like someone I knew at the frontline worker job I had mid-pandemic who missed her own birthday three years in a row, got repetitive stress injuries, and then got passed over for a promotion that was given to someone who did a fraction of the work. But the “God willing, I’ll never come back” was followed by “I’m 13” …damn, I got whiplash so hard that I astral projected into a universe where things made sense for a second. Because of course kids don’t have a complex view of other countries’ political systems or cultural pressures. Or the nuances of personal change and redemption. Or that sometimes people are just not online for a few days. And of course a 13-year-old doesn’t understand how dumb and petty they look by trying to ruin other peoples’ careers in the name of Activism (tm) while having a fandom portmanteau username.

“I didn’t want it to come to this but… I’m going to delete twitter!” I hope so, but more for their own sake, honestly. I actually have less anger towards most of them now. Many are kids with a false sense of grandiosity that makes them believe they are the ultimate moral authority, but have very little understanding of how messy people or societies can be. I just hope they can learn one day, and look back on who they are now and cringe. (And then many years after that, have the grace to forgive themselves.)

Oof, sorry for the wall of text.

I’m still not over the whole situation with Forever. I miss his energy, and his accent, and his silly bits with Richas that always dragged on too long, and N.I.N.H.O. (and everything it represented), and how different he and Cellbit are but how they understood each other WAY too well, and how he tried to make people who didn’t log onto the server as often still feel welcome and wanted, and how happy he got when anyone non-Brazilian even tried to speak a little bit of Portuguese. (I was learning, but I’ve barely touched it since.) I won’t lie, it’s affected me far more than I thought it would.

I miss Forever. Thank you for your blog being a little space where that’s okay.

I'm honestly a little worried for the kid (s), not in a "oh I just want the best for" fake bs way just a little concerned tbh. I still don't like them but I don't hate them either, they're a kid.

But at the same time I'm worried for their well being, they have like 5,000 follower on their main Twitter and 28 on curious cat (which is apprantly high for that app )

That's 5000 people (teens or not) waiting for you to tell them how to feel that can't be good for their mental state, not for a 13 yr old kid.

Most of their life was spent learning about the world and their still learning, these are the ages where you're worried about the sun blowing up.

You haven't seen how awful the world can be yet, You haven't seen how much worst it could get you haven't learned calculus yet!

To you the world is only these 13 years and you think if you don't act now everything will be over.

I get it, I had that fear too, most people grown into it and realize just how shitty it can get an settle in choosing their own battles and not letting It consume them, because no one had time for that anymore.

You want to experience the most out of live while you can and the older you get the easier it is to balance.

To me it looks like one of those situation where you'll look back and think "I wish I enojyed my childhood."

Because 5000 people waiting for you to tell them who to bash, 28 people prasing your while admitting they use to hate you.

It can't be good. And if they were to read this they'd probably say "oh you don't actually care you just want to shit on me."

And like, yeah I don't care, but am I saying all this because I want to shit on them? no I'm just pointing out concerns.

Apart from that I fully agree with anon.

[elisysd]

7. Maybe together we can get somewhere

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

The sun was piercing through the curtains, waking up Julia. She took her time getting out of bed, letting the memories over the previous night rush over her. She took a quick shower before putting on an old Ferrari tee-shirt that she once borrowed from her dad (and never gave back) and some sweatpants. She was going to work a little bit on the data that some engineer from Warsaw had sent yesterday. She needed to be comfortable. A quick detour to the kitchen to make herself some toast and a cappuccino and she was ready to face her day. She came back to her room and sat at her desk. Before logging in, she unplugged her phone and quickly wen through the few texts messages and social media notifications. Her gaze was attracted by a name trending on Twitter and soon a text message from the same person that was under the spotlight on the app.

It worked.

She knew that she should stay away from the posts on social media, but curiosity got the better of her. She clicked on Ethan’s name and soon she was overwhelmed with pictures of them in the restaurant and hundreds of comments of people trying to guess who the girl in the pictures was. Investigations had begun and Julia knew it was only a matter of time before they get to her. A part of her knew that nothing would give away that it was her. The picture was blurry, the only thing you could see was her back and a brunette wearing a black dress was something pretty common. That was the rational part of her brain that was talking. But the tiny insecure one couldn’t help but play the devil’s advocate. What if someone had seen her and decided to speak? What if there were other pictures that were not online yet and someone decided to release them? Monaco was after all a small city, almost a village where everyone knew everyone. She could feel herself spiralling and nausea coming over her. She only had time to go to the toilet before emptying her stomach.

“Julia? Are you okay,” asked her mom that was passing by.

She knelled beside her daughter and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I’m fine, I must have eaten something that my stomach didn’t like yesterday, that’s it.”

“You sure? Did everything go well yesterday? I didn’t hear you coming back.”

Julia’s only answer was to throw up again. It was as if her body was trying to tell her that the whole thing was a bad idea. She felt her mom’s cold hand on her neck and then moving up to her forehead.

“I’m not sick, mom.”

“You are throwing up and you are shivering, excuse me to feel a little worried.”

“It’s just the stress. That’s it. We have a lot of work to do…”

It was not a lie. It was just not the reason why Julia felt so sick.

“I knew it might not be a good idea to let you work in F1 right after graduating…” she heard her mom sigh.

“That’s my dream. I don’t want to work anywhere else.”

“I know, but sometimes you have to delay your dreams in order to feel ready. Maybe you could have started in F2, I know Fred still have some ties with Art Grand Prix…”

“No! I’m okay. I just need to get used to the pressure and I’ll be fine.” explained Julia, getting up.

“Come with me, I was about to make myself some tea. I’ll make you one. You need to drink.

Julia followed her mom as they make their way to the kitchen. Julia sat on a bar stool and watched silently her making the water boil in the kettle. The comfort silence was suddenly interrupted by angry footsteps coming from her father’s office. She heard him hanging up his phone call with rage and barging through the kitchen’s doors before sitting on the stool next to her. From the corner of her eyes she saw her mom taking another mug from the cabinet and pour a third cup of tea for her dad.

“What is happening?” asked Charles’ wife.

“We are screwed. We are not going to win a championship this year. It’s over. Lamborghini won.” he explained.

“Didn’t take you for a quitter, honey. That’s not the man I married.”

“It’s just… the data between the simulation and the actual data we collect during the race are strictly different. We are losing speed during straight lines, with or without DRS. We don’t know where the problem comes from yet, but I just had a call with our technical director isn’t optimistic about the upgrades we are working on for the Casa Grand Prix. I know I shouldn’t tell you that Julia, but I needed to let this out.”

Julia had rarely seen her dad so defeated and frustrated. Sure it happened before, when he was still driving, but he never was under the amount of pressure a Team Principal could receive and Julia could see the toll it was taking in him. She drank the rest of her tea in one gulp and went back to her room. Rummaging through her suitcase, she finally found the envelope she was searching for. She took out the USB drive and plugged it in her computer. In front of her eyes, dozen of documents could be seen. Pictures of the car, of notes taken by engineers, of date displaying on screens even blueprints of the car that Ethan might have copied from someone else’s computer. She was impressed by the dedication of her fake boyfriend to get her onboard. He really was not joking when he told her that he had important pieces of information. Of course, some things were lacking but Julia knew that if she studied them really hard, she could fill the blanks. A least she hoped so.

Downtown Monte-Carlo, in his flat Ethan was expecting Maserati’s PR manager phone call and was not surprises when he received it, right after his morning run.

“What were you thinking? We asked you to fake settling down not keep acting like a dick!”

Ethan sighed before drinking a huge glass of water in one gulp.

“And I’m working on it, but I can’t appear at the next GP with a girl out of nowhere. We have to make it believable. That’s what I’m doing. I called the paps yesterday. It’s under control, relax.”

“Who is the girl?” she asked.

“Not going to say. You will corner her and make her sign stuff, I know you. I don’t want you to make her run away, it was hard enough to get her onboard.”

“Ethan…”

“No. You will know when I’ll deem it useful for you to know. For now it’s not the case, but don’t worry, she is perfect. You have to trust me.”

He couldn’t help but smile, imaging the PR officer probably rolling her eyes at the idea of having to trust him. She was pissed of, he could hear it. But he didn’t care. For once, he had control on his life. Ever since he started to get big and under the spotlight, people tried to get advantage of his image. He stopped counting the number of brands that contacted him and the photoshoots he had done in the past. And of course people that tried to use him because of his father. He was not stupid, contrary to what other people might think and what it seemed. He knew who he could trust and who he couldn’t. But as his dad once said to him, really early in his career: “ You will attract dishonest people like corpses attract vultures, don’t hesitate to use them the way they will use you.”

“You’ve never made it easy for us to trust you.”

“See that as a new start.” he replied.

Ashley ended the call, not without making him promise to not do anything stupid. They didn’t need another scandal. Right after hanging up, his phone rang again and the name of his mother appeared on the screen. Ethan wondered if he should ignore it. He knew why his mother was calling, she must had seen the pictures and she wanted to know everything. But Ethan knew better, if he was not answering she was perfectly capable to come to his place and that was the last thing he wanted.

“Mom…”

“Were you on a date yesterday?” was the first thing she asked.

“Oh I’m fine mom. My flight was amazing and I made it home safely. The beginning of the season is not so great but I hope it will get better. I’m so happy you asked.”

“Smartass. So, do I know her? Is she from Monaco? How long have you seen each other? Why am I not aware of anything? You don’t tell me anything about your life lately…” she complained.

“Maybe I’m not telling you anything because it’s always like this! You are intrusive. It doesn’t matter what i do or it’s not good enough or it’s too risky or it’s too stupid. But it’s my life. I’m not fifteen anymore, I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

He didn’t know where this was coming from. Probably a mix of everything that had happened the last few days. He was tired, under pressure and a part of him was scared the whole fake-dating would turn sour really quickly. He din’t entirely trust Julia. After all, he was giving the responsibility to save his career to a girl that hated his guts.

“I’m worried about you. And I wouldn’t need to if you had given me reasons to trust you in the past.”

He knew this conversation was not going anywhere. They both were too stubborn to admit their wrongdoings.

“How is dad?” he asked.

“Don’t try to change the subject, I still want to know who that girl is.”

“And I won’t tell you.”

“Is she from Monaco? Or Italian maybe? Or French?”

“She is Monegasque, born and raised here. See, happy?” he ended up saying, fed up by her questions.

“Oh so I might know her, then. Monaco is not that big.”

Ethan knew his mom. She was going to dig he was sure of it and that was the last thing he wanted. Because she knew that she was going to talk to other people and soon everyone will know that Ethan was dating someone. And that would mess with the whole plan him and Julia had come up with.

“Mom, it’s still early and I’m not even sure it will lead anywhere. Please, I’m not asking for much just let me go at my own pace and if it becomes serious I’ll let you know. I promise. But for now it’s too soon.”

He heard her sigh.

“Fine. Just one more question. How long has it been going on? Because with the scandal…”

“It’s been a few weeks.”

And that was another lie he could add on the pile that was starting to get big. He had to explain it to Julia so they wouldn’t mess with their relationship timeline in case questions were raised.

“Okay. Well, I’m happy for you Ethan, really. And I will be waiting for the day I’ll get to meet her. I won’t force you to talk about her if you don’t feel ready but you must care a lot about her if you are asking me to not mingle in your life. I’m glad you are happy and you finally found someone you want to spend time with.”

Ethan couldn’t help but feel a pinch of regret in his heart. He could hear his mom being genuinely happy for him and he knew that if she happened to know about the lie, it would crush her. He said his goodbye to her, promising to visit her soon and decided to go out. He needed to clear his mind after this conversation and to forget how of a liar he had become in the span of a few days. He was not proud of it. He felt bad, but Ethan was ready to do anything to keep his seat, even if he had to go as far as lying and potentially hurting his loved ones. He just hoped that the truth would never see the light of the day.He put on a jacket that was lying on his couch and left his flat. It was windy in Monaco, even a bit chilly, he could feel the salty air coming from the sea on his face. He took a deep breath before turning his dead to the left to see if a car was passing by before crossing the road and was surprised to notice a silhouette that he was becoming familiar with running in his direction.

Her brown hair pulled in a ponytail was bouncing from left to right, rhythmically with her footsteps. When she finally arrived near him, she was breathless and bright red from her run. He was about to say something when she interrupted him, pointing her finger in front of his face, silently shutting him up.

“Louis knows.” she said.

Ethan took a minute to understand what she meant.

“He knows? About us? What did you tell him?”

“Nothing, I swear. My brother is a genius and knows me better than anyone. I didn’t say anything, he put 2 and 2 together. He thinks we are dating. ”

“But you didn’t deny it.”

“I don’t want to lie to him.”

“Well you did lie, because technically we are not dating for real.”

“I don’t want to lie to him more than necessary.” she added.

“My mom is suspicious. I mean, you know her, you know how much she likes gossips so it shouldn’t surprise you to learn that she knows about the rumours and she saw the pictures. It will probably only be a matter of time before she finds out about you and I.”

Julia leaned over the wall and let herself gliding to the floor. She didn’t think about that. She didn’t think about how great friends her mom and Ethan’s were. If Kat met up with Lyanna, chances were high that they would talk about their kids. And Ethan’s dating life would be mentioned and then Lyanna would probably tell Kat that Julia had been on a date, because Julia knew for sure that her mom didn’t believe her when she said she was going to meet some friends. And then, their cover would blow up. Their moms would questioned them. Julia closed her eyes and try to take a deep breath that was soon caught up in her throat preventing her from exhaling normally. She tried to stand and started to pace back in forth, her breathing shallow, to organised her thoughts. But no matter how hard she tried to compartment her thoughts, new ones were adding up to the pile and she soon felt like the whole world was crushing down on her shoulders. She tried to keep the tears from falling by shaking her head but it was no use.

Ethan didn’t know what to do and he ended up doing the one thing he thought about. He put his body in front of her and his two hands on her shoulders firmly, forcing her to stop. She looked at him, anchoring herself in his blue eyes that was staring at her with a harden look.

“Julia… hey, Joolsie. Stop and listen to me. We are in this shit together, I dragged you into it. I may be an ass but i’m not ungrateful. You were kind enough to help me and you will go through enough of shit because of me. I promise you, I will try to make this whole dating thing the less painful possible. I owe you a big one, I’m not going to let you down. And you know me, you know that when I promise something, I don’t back down on it.”

It calmed her down a little bit. They tacitly decided to walk along the harbour, as Ethan lived nearby and they knew that there wouldn’t be a lot of people. The walk was silent as they didn’t know what to say. Julia was still deep in her thoughts and Ethan was eyeing her from the side. She really looked like Charles, he thought. The same way to carry themselves, the same hazel eyes, the same driven attitude and fiery look when they set their eyes on something. He never really paid attention before. He would even go as far as to say that she was pretty and in another life, she would have been his type. But she was Julia and he was Ethan and so, he put this thought in a box and far away in his mind.

They found a quiet spot away from the main road and near the sea. They sat on the only bench and looked at the coastline.

“This is my favourite place when I need somewhere to cool off.” Ethan told her, breaking the silence.

“Mine is the big cabin in our garden, at home. It’s used as a screaming room when someone needs to let go of some stress or anger. It was my mom’s idea, so no one would shout again one another and Louis had somewhere to go if he felt the need to be on his own, in a safe environment.” she explained with a bittersweet smile when she mentioned her brother.

“How is he? Is he still home schooled?”

“Yeah. It’s still hard for him to be around a lot of people for more than an hour…”

“But, how can he get used to it if your parents keep him sheltered?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell them but… they are scared I guess.”

‘It must be hard, no? To have a brother like him.’

He saw her glared at him and added quickly that in no mean did he think that Louis wasn’t normal.

“He has ups and down. Like everyone, I guess. But his are always very high or very low. He doesn’t know how to recognise what he feels. It can take him days to put a word on a feeling. So, yeah… it’s hard. Sometimes it feels like no matter what we all do to help him, it’s not enough.”

“Does he have friends or is he really lonely?”

“He has Percy, Lando’s son. I don’t know if Louis considers him as friend, but I know that they chat online from time to time. That’s the closest thing he has of a friend and contact with the outside world.” she fidgeted with her red bracelet, her gaze set on it.

“And you, do you have friends, Joolsie?”

She was about to answer when a girl interrupted them. She was young, probably around fourteen years old with blond curls falling down on her shoulders.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but, are you Ethan Verstappen?”

Julia looked away and put distance between them as Ethan replied with a smiled and posed with the girl for a selfie. As she left, not without thanking Ethan one last time and wishing him the best of luck for the season, they left their spot and wandered off the street. As they were planning their next move, Julia’s phones buzz and a text from her mom appeared on the screen.

It’s getting late, Ju’. Are you far from home?

She looked at the time and realised that she was almost late for dinner and the sun was about to set.

“I have to go. I don’t want to upset my mom more than she probably already is, I didn’t realise that it was late. We’ve been out for hours, I didn’t notice.” she told Ethan.

“Who would have thought that we could manage to stay out together for hours and not rip each other’s heads off? Look, we made it out alive. Maybe, this whole fake dating thing might work.” Ethan teased her.

She laughed slightly before waving him goodbye.

When she finally got back home and was surprised to see her dad playing with Bailey and her ball. He was sitting down on the stairs of the porch and seemed down which alarmed Julia. She didn’t like seeing him like this because it meant that something happened with Louis.

“Dad? Is everything okay?”

He looked up to her and sighed, before scooting over to give her some space to sit down.

“I messed up with your brother. Again.” he confessed with a low voice.

“What happened?” she asked gently putting her head on his shoulder as she felt her dad’s cheek resting on the top of her head.

“I involuntarily triggered him and now he locked himself in his room and doesn’t want to see anyone. He… he was playing piano and I… I’m stupid. I just thought that maybe I could play with him, that it could be a nice bonding moment. That if I can’t get through him with words maybe I can let music do the talking, you know? I startled him. I know that I should have made myself seen. Instead I just went and scared him. He started to panic because he didn’t feel that I was around and I tried to reassure him. I naturally put a hand on his shoulder and I shouldn’t have. I know that he doesn’t like when someone touch him without his permission. And he started to scream. The more I was trying to calm him down, the worst I made everything.”

“It’s not your fault, dad…” Julia tried to comfort him.

“I fail him, Ju’. Times and times again. I’ve always failed him and I keep on doing so. Why am I such a bad dad to him?”

“You’re not a bad dad. You try your best, like you always do. And maybe it won’t be today or tomorrow, but I know that it will get better. Because when you want something, you do everything you can to achieve it.”

She felt her dad’s head nuzzling against hers and his embrace being stronger.

“I love you, princess. I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it before standing up. The house was quiet. Her feet dragged her to her brother’s bedroom where her mother was talking to a closed door.

“Louis, baby, please open the door. Talk to me, please. Daddy is so sorry he didn’t want any of that to happen.”

She seemed tired and Julia regretted to have not come back earlier. Maybe if she had been there, the incident wouldn’t have happened.

“Mom? I’m taking it from here. Go see dad, I think he needs you.”

“You sure?”

Julia nodded and when her mom was out of sight she stuck her ear against the door, trying to hear something from the inside.

“Hey munchkin. Can I come in? I promise you, it’s only me.”

She waited for what felt like minutes before the door opened slightly. It was just a crack but it was big enough to allow Julia to slip through it. Louis was sitting on the floor, his back against the wall near the door. Getting closer to him, Julia noticed he was shaking slightly. She sat beside him, careful to not go to close in case it would trigger another crisis.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly, her voice barely a whisper.

“Dad hates me.” he ended up saying, is voice hoarse from the screaming and the crying.

“Why would you think that?”

“I just know it. He is ashamed of me.”

“Louis… it’s not true. You know that.”

“Yes it is. I surprised a conversation between him and mom once. I know it’s bad to eavesdrop and I didn’t want to but then I heard my name…”

“What did you hear?”

“Dad saying that he would have loved to have a son that was into racing and who would have been like him. That he would have loved to know how grandpa was feeling when dad was competing in karting. Because it would have brought him closer to his dad. He would have preferred to have a normal son and not a weirdo like me. He didn’t say that but it felt like it.”

Julia didn’t really know what to say but one thing was for sure, she knew that Louis had misinterpreted whatever he had heard and was not meant to. She would talk to her mom about it later.

“Normality is overrated Louis. And I wouldn’t want another brother. You are perfect just the way you are.”

It made him feel a little bit better. At least he wasn’t shaking anymore. She pulled out of her pockets his favourite sweets that she always kept on her in case of emergency occurring with him. The smile that she managed to get it from him, made her happy and it’s with a lighter heart that she went back to her room. As she was about to plugged her phone, she saw he text from Ethan, appearing at the top of her notifications.

Hey, I hope you made it home safe and sound. The fan that asked for a picture earlier posted it online and she said that I was with who she thought was my girlfriend. It’s on a lot of gossip accounts. Just thought that I should let you know. Take care.

Julia gulped. Of course it was something that she imagined could have happened but she was so used to control everything that this slight inconvenience in their plan well thought was enough to make her anxious. It was real now, they could not back down. She couldn’t, not anymore. She opened Instagram and went to her profile. Maybe it was time for her to make it public. It would give her a sense of control over what was posting about her. She went in the app setting and opened the access to her profile.

author's note: This chapter was a pain in the ass to write so I'm very curious to have your thoughts about this one.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[dearweirdme]

BigHit and BTS are not ypur typical K-Pop label/group and they never were. From the first day they debuted and their (or rather Bang PD’s) strategy was to showcase the members as their real selves (minus the assigned stage personas), as in they filmed a lot of logs on YouTube just talking to the fans about their real thoughts and such. Bang PD encouraged them to write their own feelings into their music, and their music has been defiant to the norm since day 1.

BTS have been shunned by the industry to the point they had to make their own reality shows to better express themselves without prejudice, while continuing to film every step of their journey and keep track of almost their every waking moment to show the fans what kind of people and artists they are.

BTS risked getting blacklisted by their government twice because of songs like Am I Wrong? and Spring Day, mind you these were released when BTS were still a 3-4 year old group that was barely starting to get recognized by the industry.

In Jikook's case, they have been close since day 1. They slept in Jimin's bed, they stayed behind to practice more then sleep in the lobby together as to not wake the members, they were 'all-nighter buddies', they kept getting closer each year to the point they grew inseparable and you'd see them always together in b-t-s content like in memories. They got paired together during shoots because of their insane chemistry. And it reached a point where in 2019 after the Rose Bowl ear incident, Tkkrs mass emailed the company and spammed Twitter with hashtags asking them to "stop the gay fan service" but BigHit didn't give a damn and continued showcasing them as a close duo because that's what the reality is.

Only in 2020, BTS worldwide popularity doubled because of Dynamite and a new wave of fans started getting to know BTS and with that Taekook grew even more popular individually and as a ship (as did every member and duo but Taekook grew bigger because they're the youngest, and have arguably more Euro-centric fitting visuals) and BigHit started caring more about the international audience as opposed to the Korean audience how it used to be (notice how K-armys have been complacent in streaming for the past 3-4 years because most of them are mad BTS are giving western ARMYs more content and performances and English songs). So BigHit started banking on Taekook and started pairing them in ads, shoots, highlighting them in choreographies, songs, and in memories. But Jikook remain undefeated quantity and quality wise, why? Because they simply spend more time together that can be kept in content. That is probably why you saw that Taekook ITS talk and why Taekook content stopped getting edited out as much after that. They're still a meh duo in terms of chemistry to be honest with you, and that's probably why they'll never be used as much as Jikook for fun content. Like imagine being one of the editors and you have to edit every DVD down to like 40 minutes or something and you have to choose between clips of Taekook just sitting there or Jikook being fun and playful? I think it's an obvious choice. But I can still see that they're making more effort into keeping as much as Taekook content in possible to appease to their audience. I don't envy yall honestly. And before you tell me that I ship Jikook based on company content that the company chooses to leave in, I don't. I'm not a Jikook shipper I just enjoy their bond and I can see their chemistry and from a business perspective I understand why BigHit chooses to leave in their moments (even the most controversial ones) because it's fun and entertaining and it causes discussions. And it doesn't really matter who thinks that their chemistry is legit and who thinks that they just play it up for cameras, Jikook have great, great chemistry and it far surpasses anything I've seen of Taekook. And I've seen a lot of them two in the past 3-4 years.

Hi anon!

Well I agree that BTS is different. They are honest and open as much as they can be, but that does not extend to their relationships.. at all. I think there’s a huge amount of space between being different and totally ignoring cultural and societal standards.

But you do see that what we see is a choice. And I agree, that Tae and Jk’s interactions are probably less entertaining to watch than that of Jkk. Jkk are loud and boisterous and full of energy. While Tae and Jk are often more relaxing and a bit more on the background. That is an actual choice the company made.. and one I think would have been made even without shipping and possible relationships. You are quite wrong about when they started to include Taekook footage again, since the amount of Taekook footage in their earlier years was evident, followed by a real decrease when things looked to be getting more serious, and starting up again when things settles down. Jk prefaced the the uptick in Tkk footage in ITS. That’s because it was indeed a decision made, and not because the suddenly talked things through. (don’t even get me started on your mention of their more Eurocentric features, because they are very clearly asian, and your reasoning here would actually fit my ideas more than yours. Because apparently the company does mingle in what they show.. it’s just not a case when it comes to their relationships?)

As I said.. the difference is whether you think Bh would show or hide an actual queer in band relationship. Look at another ask I received just now (hi other anon!)

I know what I find more likely.

[bellojinyin]

Esports and Mental Health: The Pressure on T1's Faker and the Hidden Toll of Competitive Gaming 

In the world of esports, few names hold the same weight as Lee “Faker” Sang-hook. As the “Unkillable Demon King,” Faker isn’t just a celebrated League of Legends (LoL) player. He’s the embodiment of excellence and longevity in competitive gaming. Since joining T1 in 2013, Faker has not only built a legendary career but also set an almost impossibly high standard. Yet behind his skill and global fame lies a different story: the intense and often overwhelming mental toll of maintaining a legacy in competitive gaming (Erzberger 2019). 

Faker's journey celebrated on the surface, reveals deeper truths about the hidden mental pressures of professional esports. While fans see the exciting highlights and victorious moments, they often miss the relentless training, public scrutiny, and personal sacrifices that endure players to stay on top.

🌟The Rise of an Esports Icon 

For over a decade, Faker has been synonymous with excellence in League of Legends. Since joining T1 in 2013, he’s become a three-time World Champion, setting records and establishing himself as a global esports phenomenon. His highlights are legendary, from his Zed outplays to his uncanny ability to turn games around single-handedly. Faker’s playstyle is not only awe-inspiring but also the very standard against which aspiring players measure themselves (Bencomo 2024). 

But success in esports comes at a steep price. The pressure to perform at the highest level, combined with the constant scrutiny from millions of fans, is a weight few people could bear. Unlike many professional athletes in traditional sports, esports players like Faker don’t have an off-season; they’re expected to perform year-round, with only short breaks between competitive seasons.

Key Insight: Faker's story is not just about gaming skills; it's a reminder that esports players face unique pressures, amplified by relentless schedules and public expectations.

🧘‍♂️The Hidden Side of Stardom: Mental Health Struggles 

While traditional sports have advanced in addressing athletes' mental health, esports is still in its early stages. The demands on pro players are equally intense, but their mental health resources often lag far behind. Faker, as one of the most visible esports figures, has been open about his struggles with burnout – a common, yet frequently overlooked issue in the gaming community (Tan 2022). 

For an esports pro, burnout goes beyond just physical exhaustion. Imagine training up to 16 hours a day, seven days a week, with little time for family, hobbies, or even rest. The very nature of competitive gaming means players are always seeking that next improvement, that extra edge. For Faker, whose skill level already outshines most, the pressure to constantly evolve creates an enormous psychological burden (Mckeown & Mathias 2021). 

Being a “Faker” means every game has stakes. If he wins, he's applauded; if he loses, he's dissected and criticized on a global scale. It's not just about winning or losing games, it's about upholding a legacy that he's built over nearly a decade, and this drive has its costs (Dookeran 2024). 

Key Insight: Burnout in esports is a psychological challenge born of relentless competition, long hours, and the pressure to remain “untouchable.” For players like Faker, this can mean sacrificing almost every other aspect of life.

📣The Weight of Community Expectations 

Faker’s fanbase isn’t just large but also passionate and highly invested. Fans worldwide look up to him, often idolizing him for his skill and longevity. However, with fame comes a unique set of challenges. When Faker or T1 fall short of fan expectations, the backlash can be fierce. Social media is both a source of support and a platform for fans to express disappointment, sometimes harshly. Imagine logging on to Twitter or Reddit after a tough loss and finding thousands of messages dissecting your every move and criticizing your decision (Dalton 2023). 

This weight isn’t just theoretical; it directly impacts players. Community expectations can create an echo chamber of stress, as every decision and every loss is amplified and analyzed. For Faker, the stakes are even higher because he’s not just playing for himself – he’s playing for a global fanbase that has watched him for years, which includes everyone from loyal supporters to harsh critics. In this digital age, the idea of “no bad days” becomes nearly impossible for esports icons, especially someone as iconic as Faker.

Key Insight: In esports, fan expectations can become intense pressures, and for players like Faker, the community's demand for perfection can lead to stress and anxiety, especially in high-stakes moments.

🤝T1 and the Move Toward Mental Health Support 

To T1’s credit, the organization has made strides in acknowledging and addressing mental health needs. They understand that players are under immense pressure and need more than just physical training, they need emotional support and resources to prevent burnout. Faker himself has taken breaks, openly discussing the need for rest to manage mental health, which helps to de-stigmatize mental health challenges in esports (Li 2024).

T1’s progressive approach includes exploring partnerships with mental health professionals, encouraging players to speak openly about their struggles, and implementing policies that prioritize player well-being. Although esports organizations have a long way to go in fully supporting their players’ mental health, T1’s commitment to prioritizing Faker’s well-being is a promising step forward. By championing mental health openly, T1 helps set a new standard for esports, showing that player health is equally as important as game performance.

Key Insight: Mental health resources are becoming essential in esports, and T1's initiatives demonstrate that mental well-being is integral to sustainable success. Faker's openness is helping break the stigma around mental health in gaming.

❤️A Call for Compassion in the Gaming Community 

It's easy for fans to get wrapped up in the thrill of watching their favorite players and teams compete. But behind every incredible play, there's a human being with emotions, challenges, and limits. For Faker, being the best in the world comes with sacrifices, and it's crucial that fans remember this duality. Supporting players means appreciating their skills while respecting their need for rest, balance, and space. The T1 fan community has a responsibility, just as T1 does, to create an environment that values ​​mental health and player welfare over perfection.

🌟 Final Thoughts 

The mental toll of competitive gaming is real, and as fans and supporters, we need to recognize this. Faker's journey isn't just a story of skill and victory, it's a powerful reminder that even legends need rest, understanding, and support. T1's commitment to supporting their players' well-being is helping to pave the way for healthier practices in esports. The next time we cheer for Faker, let's remember that his journey isn't just about being a champion, it's about showing that esports can be a place of passion and care, not just pressure and performance (Chang 2022). 

Reference list

Bencomo, B 2024, ‘A Legendary career: Faker’s Results at Worlds and MSI’, Nerd Street, viewed 14 November 2024, <https://nerdstreet.com/news/2024/5/faker-skt-t1-league-of-legends-worlds-msi>.

Chang, A 2022, ‘What It Means for Sports fans’ Mental Health When Their Team Loses’, NPR.org, February, viewed <https://www.npr.org/2022/02/14/1080684282/what-it-means-for-sports-fans-mental-health-when-their-team-loses>.

Dalton, C 2023, ‘Weight expectations: the Managerial Burden of Doing everything, everywhere, All at Once’, Managementtoday.co.uk, ManagementToday, viewed 14 November 2024, <https://www.managementtoday.co.uk/weight-expectations-managerial-burden-doing-everything-everywhere-once/opinion/article/1813413>.

Dookeran, J 2024, ‘Does a Win/Lose Condition Affect a Game’s Fun? - Jason Dookeran - Medium’, Medium, Medium, viewed <https://jdookeran.medium.com/does-a-win-lose-condition-affect-a-games-fun-83a8b8e382e6>.

Erzberger, T 2019, ‘How Faker and His Father Made Way for the Unkillable Demon King’s Return - ESPN’, ESPN.com, ESPN, viewed 14 November 2024, <https://www.espn.com/gaming/story/_/id/27978025/how-faker-father-made-way-unkillable-demon-king-return>.

Li, T 2024, ‘Mental Health Concerns in E-sport Athletes: Lessons from a Legend’, Psychiatry.org, viewed 14 November 2024, <https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/mental-health-concerns-in-e-sport-athletes-lessons>.

Mckeown, D & Mathias, E 2021, Investigation into the Role of Sport Psychologists in Esports , viewed 14 November 2024, <https://onshow.iadt.ie/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2021/04/All2 .pdf>.Tan, A 2022, 'Why Mental Health in Esports Is Important to Faker and Team Razer | ONE Esports', www.oneesports.gg , viewed <https://www.oneesports.gg/league-of-legends/mental-health-esports-faker/>.

[depressedbagpipe]

about liam payne

let me preface this by saying i never thought i’d be writing a “statement” at the ripe age of 23. as a disclaimer, i do not condone his abusive actions and find them incredibly disgusting and immoral, but i’d also be lying if i said i don’t have conflicting emotions right now. this is me trying to explore them. 

i don’t think i’ve ever stated this before, but one direction made me the person i am today. those five lads were one of my main pillars during my adolescent life. they became my main motivation to pay attention during my english classes at school, and thanks to that i’m now building my career out of my second language. i got into fanfiction, discovering a safe space for me to destress and interact with other fans –not knowing i’d be 21 one day and writing crappy ben barnes stories that people would seemingly love, yet again motivating me to make my life-long dream of becoming an author another reality–. i logged into twitter for the first time and essentially made it my whole personality, finding a whole new world of entertainment where i could bond with anybody around the globe. but, most importantly, i met my former best friend, whom i have had the most amazing adventures with as we both grew up with the boys. 

one direction was my haven i came back to every day. i had to endure all types of comments from society, calling me crazy, obsessed, and childish. everybody made fun of directioners for being fangirls, and made fun of the guys too, as if they weren’t real musicians. i had to hide my directioner badge more than once because i knew i wouldn’t be taken seriously if i showed my true colors. experiencing those levels of misogyny at such young age would’ve been devastating had i not had them singing about how much they loved us. sure, the relationship was entirely parasocial and borderline problematic at times (remember that time some girls hacked the airport security just to see the guys through their screens?), yet, for a twelve-year-old who had no power in her own life, that was the safest net she could’ve gotten. 

their hiatus hit hard, because we weren’t ready to say goodbye yet. how do you move on from a band that has become one of your safety pins, that held you when nobody else did? deep down, i hoped they’d come back. we never got any closure, after all. one direction first cracked the day zayn left, but now, it has shattered completely. 

learning about liam’s past was tough. how could someone you admired for so long do such terrible things? i wanted to find solace in the fact that he was no longer the person he shared the stage with harry, louis, niall and zayn. i really wanted to separate the art from the artist, but i couldn’t. i even resented being a fan and supporting such a person in the past, but now, he’s officially gone. his victims won’t get any closure, and the culprits of leading such a young person towards his own hell won’t get justice either. it just isn’t fair.

grief is a funny thing, though. we’re all mourning someone he wasn’t for almost a decade. we’re grieving our childhoods and adolescence. we weep, because what once was, won’t be anymore. we lament the man he became, and all the pain he caused. yet all i can think about now is that 11-year-old who listened to ‘what makes you beautiful’ for the first time. that little girl who fought in the trenches to be heard and respected, and was instead ridiculed and shamed. she’s the one grieving. and i don’t know what to do anymore to protect her, and i wish i could.