#logan walker x cam rorke | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cosmictap · 7 months ago

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To be loved is to be changed:

A Logan Walker x trans masc! OC fic

CWs: Disassociation (entirely based off my experiences), the vague implication that a character thinks the other may be transphobic (barely there), hints of self hatred.

I’m not to sure how well i wrote any of it but! enjoy nonetheless

There was always something about Logan that he hated about himself, he was shorter than average, could hardly hold a conversation with anyone who wasn’t his brother, couldn’t stand strangers, easily irritable, the list went on and on. He got by each day by sticking to himself, putting up a wall between him and everyone - to protect himself, he reasoned; but he knew. He knew each time he found himself stuck in his own head, somewhere he could remove himself from reality for a while, blocking everything out because it hurt less. The truth was, he needed someone to help him get out, but god knows he was far to gone for retrieval.

That was, until a certain blond wanker boy turned up. He was strange. Introduced himself with his last name, point blank refused to give his first name at first. Rorke. The name sounded familiar, in a very distant part of his brain he couldn’t find the energy to explore, regardless, ‘Rorke’ was frankly, the most irritating person he’d ever met (excluding his brother). It took a week. A single week, and Logan was already unbearably fond of him. Rorke was his best friend soon enough, and god if that didn’t scare him; how had he broken through his defences that quickly? Why was this loud, opinionated kid choosing him?

Within a month he was starting to feel real again in a way he had almost forgotten, the small details of his days stuck out, the way the leaves fell near tenderly onto the ground, the calming sound of those very same leaves, crushed under boots. He loathed to say it, yet, it was plain to see. Rorke found a way to get through everything. He was finally learning how to live as opposed to simple survival.

-~~-

They got out of class that day, immediately finding each other so they could make the walk back home together, something he’d grown very pleased with over the weeks. They were chatting about their days, what kids in their lessons got in trouble, the usual, but Logan could tell something was off with Rorke; he was fidgety, quieter than usual.

He soon found out why. Rorke’s name was Cameron. Although, he said it almost uncertainly, like he was waiting for some kind of rejection. It never came.

-~~-

He’d never admit it to anyone, but Logan was in love with his best friend, perfectly content to admire from afar. Feeling his heart break with every relationship Cam got into, and inevitably end up broken up with.

He wished he could save him, just like he was saved. The risk was high but.. He’s willing to try. For the sake of his partner best friend.

WOOOO this was a bit of a mess coming up the end i won’t lie!!! but i’m done with it!

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