#locked in for seven hours... augh

[bucketinyourwalls]

💜

Extras below <3

[storybook-souls]

top ten books i read in 2022

in order of how much i enjoyed them, not necessarily how good they are, although i do stand by them all being good. limited myself to one per series bc i do think otherwise seven out of these ten would be the raven cycle and the locked tomb series. add me on storygraph @strawberrrysky for more book opinions and also bc i desperately want more storygraph friends

(i promise my descriptions get shorter as i go on)

1. The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater

i somehow missed reading trc when i was a teenager and then avoided it for a while out of a combination of stubbornness and a total misconception of what the books were about. fortunately this year my friends responded to my plea for fantasy books in a modern setting by telling me to just suck it up and read the raven boys already and by the end of chapter 1 i was intrigued, by the end of chapter 7 i was locked the fuck in, by the end of chapter 15 i was like “oh okay this is gonna be my personality for a while.” the prose, the system of magic, the atmosphere, and above all the characters...augh. i love these books and i love the raven boys in particular i think maggie stiefvater REALLY knows how to establish her characters and her world and how to pull a reader in and how to give you that bubbly “it was starting!” feeling right alongside the characters. also the whole last act of this book made me experience brand new emotions. i could go on but i think everyone who hasn’t read these books yet should at least CONSIDER it.

2. Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

it’s CRAZY how good this book (the second in the locked tomb series) is. it’s CRAZY. it shouldn’t work but it absolutely does. the prose, the set-up and payoff, the hiding things in plain sight. there’s NOTHING more satisfying than the way everything clicks together at the end. tamsyn muir said “you ARE going to read this book that’s inexplicably in second person and seems at first to totally disregard the first book in the series and you’re going to love it” and i respect her so much for that. and the CHARACTERS! the PLOT! genuine masterpiece i think it’s one of the smartest-written books i’ve ever read

3. Gravity is the Thing, by Jaclyn Moriarty

i LOVED this book. Jaclyn Moriarty’s prose is so melodic and fun to read--usually when i read a book in three days it means something about the plot really seized me but in this case it was more just how much i was enjoying her style. it manages to balance a sense of whimsy with feeling real and honest, which is exactly what i want from this kind of contemporary fiction. book about connection, book about grief, book about hope, loss, healing, resilience, imagination...when i finished it i cried for half an hour and it felt like my soul had taken a shower

4. Piranesi, by Susanna Clarke

Piranesi had been “at the top of my to-read list” for over a year by the time i finally got to it and i was a bit worried my expectations were going to be too high but oh my GOD was it every bit as good as everyone said. NO one is doing it like this book and I don’t want to tell you much more about it because I think the less you know the better but what a win for slow reveals and satisfying endings.

5. The Book of Eels, by Patrik Svensson

my nonfiction winner for this year. I learned so much about eels and also cried about humanity and family which is always what I’m looking for from a book

6. The Only Good Indians, by Stephen Graham Jones

i have GOT to get into reading more horror this book was so awesome. scary and brilliantly written and atmospheric and didn’t pull its punches even at all.

7. Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton

one of my few re-reads this year but i LOVE this book, especially the masterful slow build in the first half of it. the horror of a dinosaur eating someone is one thing, the horror of human hubris and dramatic irony is another.

8. The Devourers, by Indra Das

the most visceral book i’ve ever read i think. now THIS is love and consumption! now THIS is a book about telling stories and being human!

9. Artificial Condition, by Martha Wells

The murderbot diaries are like. 80% funny and fast-paced and action packed and then all of a sudden you’ll hit a line or a concept that makes you have to put the book down and take a few laps around the room. Murderbot’s relationship with ART especially made me really feel like I was losing my mind. This is what I like about sci-fi.

10. The Ocean at the End of the Lane, by Neil Gaiman

this book is incredibly well written and i think the horror elements stuck with me more than some of the actual horror books I read this year. just a really gorgeous and atmospheric and dreamlike story that manages to convincingly feel like it’s playing with huge things while still keeping the scope of the story very small. like a whole ocean in a pond, one could say,

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

11. The Queen’s Gambit, by Walter Tevis (can’t help it i’m a sucker for a chess game)

12. Gone Girl, by Gillian Flynn (i think i’d’ve liked it more if i hadn’t already known all the twists but even knowing what was going on it was still fucking awesome)

13. Owls of the Eastern Ice, by Jonathan C. Slaght (i think i learned more from this one than anything else i read this year)

14. The Traitor Baru Cormorant, by Seth Dickinson (no one is doing it like her)

15. Black Cake, by Charmaine Wilkerson (a win for my book club)

[glowtech]

what does the fox say

Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddies, an indie horror game that you guys suggested in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said that it was really really good; so I’m very eager to see what is up - and that is a terrifying animatronic bear \*reads off script\* family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. Oh, 12:00 A.M, the first night. If I didn’t want to stay the first night, why would I stay any more than five? Why would I say anymore than two - hello. Okay...Hello? Hello - oh, ah I can’t move. That’s a creepy skull...There’s creepy things on the wall - Oh, hello. \*Phone Guy begins dialogue\* “Hello, hello hello,” Hi! “Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night.” Eugh.. “Um, I actually worked in that office before you, and I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming..” Euuagh..! “But I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing to worry about,” Agh.. “You’ll do fine! So, let’s just focus on getting you through your first week..” Okay! Sounds go- “Ah, let’s see..First there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read - i-it’s kind of a legal thing, you know, ahm - ‘Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza-” Okay “‘..A magical place for kids and grownups alike-” \*Mark wheezes indistinctly in the background\* Heheha.. “..Where fantasy and fun come to life,” Eugha..! “”Freddy Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person, upon discovering that damage or death has occured, a missing person report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises had been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpet’s have been replaced,’ blah blah blah - now that might sound bad, I know, but-” Yeah! “-There’s really nothing to worry about! Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No, if I was forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years, and I never got a bath, I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too. So just remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need show them a little respect, Right?” Okay! “-Okay-” Ha-okay! “So just be aware, the characters fo tend to wander a bit-” Nehaheugh- “They’re one some kinda of free-roaming mode-” hehauhuhugh! “Uhh.. Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for two long,” Oohoohoo- “Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the bite of eighty-seven.” The bite..?! “Yeah..” What bite?! “It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe,” Why?! “Now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as the night watch here, if any, is the fact that these characters - if they happen to see you after hours, they probably won’t recognize you as a person-” Oh..Oh! “They’ll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without it’s costume on. Now, since that’s against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear’s pizza, they’ll probably try tooo.. Forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.” Oh, I get it… “Uhm, now that wouldn’t be so bad if the suits themselves weren’t filled with cross-beams, wires, and animatronic devices-” Augh? “”Especially around the facial area,” uh-huh.. “Now you can imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those can cause a bit of discomfort-” Yeah! “-or death. “Uh, the only parts of you that would get to see the light of day would be your eyeballs and teeth that pop out of the front of the mask-” Euah! Oh! Why? What happened? “Now, they didn’t tell you these things when you signed up, but hey! First day should be a breeze, I’ll chat with you tomorrow, uh.. Check those cameras and remember to close the doors, but only if absolutely necessary.” That’s not good! “\*incomprehensible\* because of the power. Now, goodnight!” \*Phone guy’s dialogue ends.\* Goodnight? Oooh no! Oh that’s bad! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don’t come a

[twistedmusings]

A Midnight Prank

[Set during Chapter 5] 

Ace figured that if you were sleeping so peacefully in your bed while he had to spend a good portion of the night on the floor, why shouldn’t he try to get his revenge? A small midnight prank would be a good way to teach you about leaving him laying on the floor like that~ 

Warnings: Lime. Very mild somnopholia and food play with Ace slowly starting to realize that he might have taken a prank a bit too far. 

A/N: What better way to start this writing blog than to reveal myself as an Ace stan. I barely blinked when I first started with this game but the moment he popped up in Ghost Marriage I guess my eyes just suddenly saw the light because this boy has such yan possibilities as well as being a tease about everything. So enjoy this self indulgent drabble, I’ll see if I write more like these ò uó. 

“Oh Great Sevens…my back.”

Ace stands up and stretches, looking down at his best friend’s and Grim’s position on the floor. Of all the things Vil could do, poisoning the food? 

Well not really poisoning but cursing the food? Who the hell cursed food? Especially Trey’s baked goods?! It was a late-night snack, a team bonding exercise! To him, Ramshackle was the place he could get away with being himself without having to follow Riddle’s sometimes ridiculous rules! Yet he had just spent the good half of the night laying on the cold, hardwood floor with Deuce and Grim like some punished first year despite the fact that he was best friends with the prefect of this dorm! 

And speaking of you. 

He glares at the stairs, remembering the helpless look you had sent him as you went upstairs with Vil following short after. You, better than anybody, knew how the floors of Ramshackle were! If you had been laying on the floor paralyzed, Ace would have brought you at least a pillow!

 Maybe!

A grin spreads on his face as his brain plans out a pretty simple prank. He goes over to the chocolate cake he had taken a bite out of and scoops up some of the whipped cream frosting the cake was lavishly decorated with , grinning as he grabs  a napkin and makes his way upstairs.

“This is for betraying the First Year Loyalty Pact, [Y/N]. Get ready to get yelled at, dear manager~”

His steps are quiet on the stairs, knowing where each and every creak would be in the old, wooden stairs. It had been a while since he had pulled a prank on you, the both of you teaming up to pull pranks on others and quickly running away as soon as the plan was executed. A part of him always thought that you, the favourite of Riddle whenever you came over to Heartslabyul, would not be as on board with his pranks but seeing you come up with your own little plans as both of you hid away from your rose garden duties was unexpected and highly welcomed.

Your excited tone, the way you moved your hands. It would get Ace riled up and ready to execute absolutely anything under your orders. 

Cater had described him as being 'whipped' but Ace didn't even know what that meant so jokes on the upperclassmen, he supposed. 

He snickers as he gets to your door, praising the Queen of Hearts that it was only ajar instead of fully closed. Ace had gone over a few scenarios in his head, maybe covering your entire face with the frosting or putting the frosting on your hand while tickling your nose so that you would slap yourself. Nothing too big since he still wanted to keep his friend status with you. 

Yet his best idea had popped up once he reached the side of your bed, looking down at you sleeping so peacefully. 

"Not for long~" 

If he took a peek at the clock he could see that it was three in the morning. He guessed that Vil's curse lasted around four hours. Practice started at eight so they would usually be awake around six thirty to eat a meager breakfast and start walking to Pomefiore-- 

Which meant that if you happened to take a bite out of this delicious frosting that he held in his finger, you would wake up unable to move and miss the entirety of breakfast altogether. He would also add the extra bonus of closing your door so you would have to scream for someone to come get you. 

"Essentially two birds with one stone, right [Y/N]?" he sits down at the edge and leans over you, "Your screaming will piss Vil off so much, probably throw him off his whole morning routine. Heh, even in this scenario you are my partner in crime…" 

Ace moves to trace the chocolate on your lips, a smile on his face as he wonders just what words you would be yelling out first thing in the morning. After this maybe he should go set up his camera to record Vil lecturing you while you were stuck in your bed. 

Ah. 

His fingers weren't moving. Why weren't his fingers moving? 

"Haha...ha. O-Okay, I got this. [Y/N] say 'ahh'." 

A warm hand cupped your face as he used the one not holding the sweet confectionary, pressing his thumb against your lips and swallowing down the rather huge lump in his throat as it slowly made its way past them. Ace pressed down lightly, your mouth parting slowly as his nail scraped against the top of your teeth which allowed him to press down and watch as your mouth parted open for him. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

He was sweating, why was he sweating? A normal prank would have him smiling as adrenaline rushed through his body but this wasn't the kind of rush he was expecting. 

Ace was nervous. 

Thumb pressing against your tongue, he stopped his exploring there and not daring to go another step. He remembers back in his dating days during middle school, his girlfriend always insisted on doing the 'cutesy' thing and feeding each other. Strawberries, cotton candy, anything that was just cheesy and picture perfect enough to make him sigh in annoyance. Back then it had all just been a bother. 

But with you, why was it making him feel so--

"Augh!" 

Ace pulls his finger away, your lips still parted slightly as he grabbed his hand as if it was burned. 

Come on Trappola! What the hell is wrong with you!

You! You with your soft lips, warm tongue and inviting face that looked so so peaceful while sleeping. As if nothing would wake you! Just leaving the door open so anyone would come in and take advantage of the opportunity right before them. 

The infamous prefect of Ramshackle...looking so defenseless. 

"[Y/N]." 

Ace leans over you once again, the finger covered in chocolate this time making its way past your lips with no shame as his eyes seem to glaze over with unprecedented confidence. This was all for the sake of a good prank. Hell, he should one up it and sleep next to you tonight. You would wake up to Ace looking over you, unable to move as he teases you for not noticing his presence sooner. 

"You should really lock your door at night." he shivers when he feels your tongue lapping at his finger, "Otherwise next time I'll have to pull an even naughtier prank." 

He presses down on the slimy muscle, eyes widening when he starts getting a reaction. His finger moves up and down, tracing your tongue as your body starts to slowly respond to the attention of something sweet teasing your tastebuds. 

"Mmnnn." 

The chocolate was all gone when Ace pulled his finger back, licking his lips as he saw a faint trail of drool connecting his finger to your lips. You should have the taste floating in your mouth as your body slowly took in the curse. 

Ace barely notices himself panting until he takes a deep breath, fingers toying with the sheets covering your body as he leaned in ever closer. Maybe he should check? After all he wanted to prank you so good that you wouldn't forget about it. The thought making you squirm and open your mouth, begging him to put something inside-- 

"Ace?" 

Blood nearly rushes all the way back up to Ace's head as he hears Grimm's voice, the little creature looking at him tiredly as it floated towards him. 

"G--Grimm?! What--!" 

"My tail and ears hurt! I can't believe [Y/N] just left us there. When they wake up I'm going to--" 

Grimm yawns as he makes his way over to you, gently laying on your chest as the Heartslabyul student quickly stands up and makes his way through the door. He doesn't waste any words on saying good night as he steps out into the hall, gently shutting the door behind him and sliding down to the floor. 

What the hell did I just do? 

He looks at the finger that had done the act, staring at it as if it had a mind of its own. Your mouth had been so warm and now his entire body felt cold. Anf you weren't even aware that you had just left him feeling like this! 

Ace sighs as he runs a finger through his hair, standing up and making his way downstairs to check if Deuce has woken up. 

Not necessarily noticing how he bit at the top of the finger that had become so intimate with you. 

                                                        ~~~~~

Omake 

"Kalim? It's four in the morning why the hell are you awake?" 

Ace blinks as he supports a sleeping Deuce, the other still snoring away as Kalim smiles and places a finger to his lips. 

"I'm going to see if I can sneak in a cuddle with [Y/N]. Grimm mentioned how warm they were yesterday and I've been curious ever since!"  

"Oh, cool. Have fun then." 

The Heartslabyul student keeps walking as the Scarabia dorm leader opens the door to your room, whispering a goodnight. It was only when he heard the click of your door did he nearly drop his fellow student. 

"WAIT WHAT?" 

[demoninc]

Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddies, an indie horror game that you guys suggested in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and he said that it was really really good; so I’m very eager to see what is up - and that is a terrifying animatronic bear reads off script family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the night shift. Oh, 12:00 A.M, the first night. If I didn’t want to stay the first night, why would I stay any more than five? Why would I say anymore than two - hello. Okay…Hello? Hello - oh, ah I can’t move. That’s a creepy skull…There’s creepy things on the wall - Oh, hello. Phone Guy begins dialogue “Hello, hello hello,” Hi! “Uh, I wanted to record a message for you, to help you get settled in on your first night.” Eugh.. “Um, I actually worked in that office before you, and I’m finishing up my last week now as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming..” Euuagh..! “But I’m here to tell you, there’s nothing to worry about,” Agh.. “You’ll do fine! So, let’s just focus on getting you through your first week..” Okay! Sounds go- “Ah, let’s see..First there’s an introductory greeting from the company that I’m supposed to read - i-it’s kind of a legal thing, you know, ahm - ‘Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza-” Okay “‘..A magical place for kids and grownups alike-” Mark wheezes indistinctly in the background Heheha.. “..Where fantasy and fun come to life,” Eugha..! “”Freddy Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person, upon discovering that damage or death has occured, a missing person report will be filed within ninety days or as soon as property and premises had been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpet’s have been replaced,’ blah blah blah - now that might sound bad, I know, but-” Yeah! “-There’s really nothing to worry about! Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No, if I was forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years, and I never got a bath, I’d probably be a bit irritable at night too. So just remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children, and you need show them a little respect, Right?” Okay! “-Okay-” Ha-okay! “So just be aware, the characters fo tend to wander a bit-” Nehaheugh- “They’re one some kinda of free-roaming mode-” hehauhuhugh! “Uhh.. Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for two long,” Oohoohoo- “Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day, too, but then there was the bite of eighty-seven.” The bite..?! “Yeah..” What bite?! “It’s amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe,” Why?! “Now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as the night watch here, if any, is the fact that these characters - if they happen to see you after hours, they probably won’t recognize you as a person-” Oh..Oh! “They’ll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without it’s costume on. Now, since that’s against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear’s pizza, they’ll probably try tooo.. Forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.” Oh, I get it… “Uhm, now that wouldn’t be so bad if the suits themselves weren’t filled with cross-beams, wires, and animatronic devices-” Augh? “”Especially around the facial area,” uh-huh.. “Now you can imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those can cause a bit of discomfort-” Yeah! “-or death. “Uh, the only parts of you that would get to see the light of day would be your eyeballs and teeth that pop out of the front of the mask-” Euah! Oh! Why? What happened? “Now, they didn’t tell you these things when you signed up, but hey! First day should be a breeze, I’ll chat with you tomorrow, uh.. Check those cameras and remember to close the doors, but only if absolutely necessary.” That’s not good! “incomprehensible because of the power. Now, goodnight!” Phone guy’s dialogue ends. Goodnight? Oooh no! Oh that’s bad! I un

my first follower AND my first asker?😍😍😍😍😍youre making my think you have some sorta crush on me or something haha!

[thenotsofantasticlifestory]

Baby Madness

Killer x reader, Kid Pirates, Pregnant!reader

Warning: Cursing and confused Kid

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: This started as a silly drabble oml

++++++++++

Killer wrapped himself around you, even with the swell of stomach his long arms circled all the way around. These moments were rare, sitting quietly in bed and just basking in each other’s presence and warmth. A slight twinge of pain shot through making you flinch and Killer quickly jerked his head up.

“You okay?” he asked. Being so close to your due date he’d been even jumpier than usual. Every twitch you gave had him dashing to your side ready to go.

“It’s fine, I’ve still got another week,” you said, rubbing his arms affectionately. “I’ve read that false alarm contractions are pretty common as you get closer.”

You could feel Killer’s whole body loosen as he settled against the pillow, setting his chin back onto your shoulder. He still looked a bit nervous as he said, “If you say so, but if you feel anything else you tell me immediately okay?”

You turn and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek, “I promise Noodle. Besides, we’ll be at the next island in a day or two. We’ll find the doctor there and everything will be fine.”

             He nodded against your shoulder, arms tightening just enough to give a slight pressure without squeezing the baby, “Okay, everything will be fine,” he repeats, almost more to himself than to you. He’d been very precise with the navigator that when your labor started, you’d all be settled on an island with a doctor and not giving birth on the ship. The Victoria Punk was a majestic boat that had survived several battles but it was certainly not the hygienic, safe environment in which to bring a newborn infant.

“It’ll be fine,” he murmured again.

+++++

“You have the stopwatch with you right?” Killer asked as he readjusted the helmet on his head. It’s morning now and he knows there’s plenty of duties he needs to get done, more so if he wants to get ahead of schedule enough to dedicate all his time to you at the next island.

“Yep, really Killer I’m telling you fake contractions are very normal,” you said. Killer had been tenacious in his studies as soon as he found out you were pregnant, bringing back piles of books and reading them through with you, sometimes making notes and underlining important topics in the pages. It was really very sweet but it had also quickly become overbearing. You knew he was just worried though, if anything you’d swear he was the one having a baby, not you.

“Okay but if you feel it again, time it, and if it’s five to seven minutes-“

“I’ll come and find you immediately,” you finish for him. “Killer don’t worry so much, we’ve got it all planned out.” You reached up to place a peck against his mask, his hands going to your stomach subconsciously. “Go be first mate, get stuff done. Me and the little munchkin will be here resting up.”

Killer sighed as his shoulders slumped in defeat, “Yes babe.” He’s worried true, but right now his heart feels full, the woman he loves carrying his child, things he thought he’d never have in his life and he’s thankful for them every day.

+++++

             You were settled in comfortably, reading one of the dozens of baby books that littered the nightstand. There had been a couple more ‘contractions’ and it was a little odd to be having this many so early. Checking all the chapters on early labor hadn’t made you feel much better, but your pregnancy had always been on calendar. You were practically a text book example, hitting each new checkpoint exactly when the books had said, so labor would still be a week away at least.

             The rumble that came from your belly pulled you from your thoughts, it had been a few hours already since Killer started working. Maneuvering awkwardly to your feet, you padded from the cabin down the hallway toward the kitchen. When you had reached your door, a sharp pain split through your abdomen. That definitely wasn’t hunger, were fake contractions supposed to be that strong? You shoved the worries aside, chalking it up to the hungry baby inside you.

Heat and Kid were doing dishes in the kitchen, well, Heat mostly as Kid halfheartedly dried them. You were considering what to get for a snack before another contraction hit, this one strong enough to stop you in your tracks.

Oh, something was definitely wrong.

You clutched the side of the door frame as another splitting pain shot through your abdomen. Heat turned to look in concern, your groan drawing his attention. Sweat was beading on your brow and before you can catch your breath a sudden pressure dropped onto your lower back. Warmth spread and the sound of splashing reached your ears as your eyes widened in horror.

“Oh fuck…” Heat murmured.

Kid turned now too, only to make a face of disgust seeing the water spilling from your body, “Oh my god, did you just piss all over the floor? That’s fucking disgusting!”

You take a steadying breath before spitting back, “My water just broke you asshat!”

“Oh,” is all he manages, face dawning into comprehension as Heat rushed to your side. He throws down a dish towel on the spill and helps you into a chair.

“I’ll get Killer” he says as he rushes out.

Kid looked completely at a loss now, dishes abandoned as a very pregnant woman was still slightly dripping on the chair, and visibly trembling in pain.

“Uh- “he started, “Um, what should I- do you need anything like-“

“Kid” you cut him off mercifully, “just come here and hold my hand.”

“Yup,” he practically jumped to your side, careful to avoid the now damp towel on the floor and grabbed your hand with his human one.

“Just this?” he asked.

“Yes, just that.”

You settled down slightly, starting into the breathing techniques you and Killer had practiced countless times. In and out, in and out, long slow breaths. Kid fidgeted next to you, unsure how to help, and found himself talking again in an attempt to lighten the tense atmosphere.

“So uh, how long do I need to do this? You just like,” he made a vague motion with his metal hand, “pop it out right?”

“Kid.”

“Yeah huh?”

“Just, just shut the fuck up and let me breathe.”

Kid was saved from snapping back by Killer who nearly slammed into the doorframe to catch himself. He’s panting hard, even through the mask, with Heat right on his tail.

“Is it happening!?” he demands.

Kid turned to his friend, more than happy to pass off this responsibility, “I think so? I mean one second she’s fine, the next sh-shit ow!” the audible crack of finger bones breaking startles him as you squeeze his hand through a particularly intense contraction. Kid’s cursing nearly drowned out your own pained moan before he slammed the metal hand against the table.

“Fuck let go! I’ve only got one good hand left!” he screamed. As the pain passed you release his hand, which he yanks to himself, shooting a glare at you. Killer replaced him in a second, shoving Kid to the side much to his annoyance.

“How long between contractions?” he asked, voice frantic but obviously excited.

A few more calming breaths, you hadn’t really timed yourself this time but it seemed like the was a decent gap, “Not sure…I think, eight minutes? Maybe?”

He’s already whipped out his own stopwatch, “Okay, just let me know and I’ll time it, how are you feeling? Is it bad yet?”

You can’t help but chuckle in relief, Killer really was prepared for anything, “It’s bearable, we’ve still got some time-“

“Are we going to ignore that you crushed all my fingers just now?” Kid demanded.

Killer’s mask whipped around, ready to reprimand him, but you place a hand to his shoulder, wordlessly backing him down. You turned to Kid and locked eyes with him.

“Listen to me very carefully,” you said, and Kid flinched at the seriousness of your voice.

“I don’t think you understand what is happening right now,” you said, “What I’m about to do is essentially the equivalent of shitting a watermelon and even before that happens, even before I shit a goddamn watermelon Kid, I get to sit here and feel my insides rip themselves open slowly for at least six hours. And it’s just six hours if I’m lucky. So do you really wanna bitch about your bruised fingers right now? Right now?”

Kid opened his mouth but couldn’t find anything to say before closing it again with a stupefied look on his face. After about a minute of absorbing this horrifying knowledge he just nods his head.

“Okay, fair.”

With Kid metaphorically on board, Killer returned his attention to you.

“So it’s really happening now?” he asked.

“Her water broke,” Heat added.

“Are you seriou-NNfgh!” Killer flinched as you squeezed his hand, another contraction, but he starts the stopwatch, keeping a diligent eye on the timeface despite the pain shooting up his arm. Behind him Kid snorted, seeing Killer now on the receiving end of your iron grip.

“How long till we reach the island?” Killer choked out.

“We’ve still got at least nine or ten hours, we weren’t expecting to hit port until tonight,” Heat said.

The tension in your grip fades as the contraction passes and Killer slumps.

“No, no that’s not gonna work,” you said, “we need to get there sooner.”

“Well, I mean- “Heat stumbled, “let me check with the navigator.”

He leaves, and Killer takes your hand in both of his now, stroking gently, “Babe, maybe we should get a space here ready too, just in case?”

His voice was gentle and coaxing, but he’s unsurprised when you reject the idea, “Absolutely not. I love you but we will not have our baby in the same place where Kid left a rotting body for three days just to prove a point to Heat.” You pointed to the very clear outline stained permanently into the floorboards.

“Oh yeah,” Kid snickered, “I won that fucking bet too.”

Killer sighed, scratching at the head of his helmet in frustration, “Okay well, shit, okay,” He rises and starts to pace, “I guess we just have to wait? Can you make it that long?”

“Yeah, It’ll be fine, we’ll be there before you even know i-augh!” the pain cuts you off as Killer clicked the stopwatch.

“Ten and a half minutes,” he said, “Gives us some time but it’s not a lot.” You nodded, attempting to get to your feet before plopping back into the chair, sending both Kid and Killer with hands out to catch you if necessary.

You waved them off, “Kid, go grab some of those baby books, they might have information how to slow this down.”

He grumbles but rises, striding from the room.

You call to him, “They’re in the top nightstand drawer!”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” he calls back.

+++++++

You sat for a while, Killer stroking your back and holding your hand as you continued into the breathing techniques. The time between contractions, while still at least ten minutes apart according to Killer, felt far too short before a fresh wave of pain rolled over you.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you stayed before Heat returned, looking slightly relieved and holding something behind his back.

“Well?” Killer asked.

“The wind’s in our favor so we dropped every sail we have, as long as it stays that way, we can probably make it there an hour or two earlier than expected.”

Killer groaned, but you squeezed his hand in encouragement.

“It helps but it’s still a ways away,” he said.

“We don’t have a choice,” you said, “I can make it until then.”

“By the way,” Heat shifted awkwardly, pulling out what was behind his back, “wasn’t sure when to give this but a couple of us wanted to make a baby blanket.”

It was thickly stitched with patches of various color and design, but it was soft, and you tear up, “This is so sweet! Where do you guys find the fabric?”

He scratched at his head, “Some civilians of the last island ‘donated’ them to us.”

“‘Donated’?”

“Well, from their clothes. That they were wearing.”

Killer inspected a corner of a patch, “Is that blood?”

“Yeah don’t worry, that’ll wash out.”

You held the blanket to your chest, “It’s perfect, thank you Heat.”

Heat flushed, mumbling something inaudible, clearly not used to the attention. Killer turned to him.

“Hey did you see Kid?”

Heat straightened back up, “No I thought he was here with you two?”

Killer scratched at his helmet, “The hell, he was just supposed to grab the books.” He turned to you, “just wait here, I’m going to see what he’s doing.”

+++++++

             He managed to find Kid, sitting cross legged on the floor with his nose buried in a book. All of the baby books were scattered around him, lying half open or tossed haphazardly. Kid’s head snapped up, hearing Killer enter, and his face looked absolutely haunted.

             “Dude, have you read this shit?” Kid asked.

             “Yes, several times. Kid what are you doing? You were supposed to bring the books back.”

             Kid placed the book down, eyes still wide and he looks as though he’s aged ten years, “I mean, holy shit?” he said, “I-… I’ve seen some pretty nasty stuff but that is just-it’s…” He shuddered, unable to voice the trauma of what he’d just read.

             Killer sighed, nudging Kid with his foot as he gathered up an armful of books, “Just come on already.”

             “I mean what the fuck? People do that? Why can’t they just, I don’t know, lay an egg or some shit?”

             “You know that’s literally how you were born.”

             “Still,” Kid said, “it’s fucking gross.”

             They returned to the kitchen where you and Heat were engrossed in conversation over the blanket. He was pointing to a square of blue cloth.

“That one actually came from some rich dude at the last port, so it’s probably good material.”

“What about this one?” you gestured to a pink square with an elegant pattern.

“Oh yeah, that guy was a dick.”

             Kid wordlessly rushed forward, clasping your shoulders in his hands and staring down at you now with the sympathy of a fellow soldier holding a dying friend.

             “You’ll be okay, we’ll get that thing out of you,” his voice was more serious than you’d heard it before.

             “I- Thanks?”

             Kid nodded in resolution, giving your shoulders a soft squeeze before he let go. Killer had dumped the books on the table and was flipping through them.

             “Shit,” Killer said, “there’s a lot of ways to speed up labor but not to slow it down,” he gave the last book an agitated slam shut.

             Kid looked around the kitchen, visibly searching for ideas, “How about we get her drunk?”

             Two smacks, one from Heat one from Killer, followed immediately upside Kid’s head. He cursed loudly and rubbed at the sore spot.

             “Fine! Fuck! I’m just trying to help here! What about food?”

             Killer smacked upside his head again, more on instinct than anything, before he paused, “…Actually that’s not a bad idea.”

             “Fuck you!” Kid screamed.

             You groaned, food sounded like the least appealing thing as your stomach swirled and you said as much.

             “I think at this point,” Heat said, “we just have to stay distracted long enough to get to shore…”

             With the sun still high in the sky, the idea of waiting that long was impossible, but Heat was right, there wasn’t another option.

+++++++

             By the time the sky was just beginning to darken, those hours had felt like the longest in your life. Contractions were now four minutes apart and Killer had become increasingly frantic with no sight of the island in sight.

             They had managed to kill an hour with Kid reading through his hit list, featuring occasional explanations on why a particular person was going to die exceptionally slowly, until Killer had decided discussing murder methods probably wasn’t great for you or the baby.

             As your contractions grew in pain and shortened in rest time, the kitchen was echoing loud groans of pain every few minutes. Kid kept a wide berth from you, protecting the few human fingers he had left, as Killer took the brunt of your crushing grip. During a particularly rough minute, Killer, needing some way to alleviate his own pain, gripped Kid’s shoulder, effectively creating a train of pain. Wire had appeared in the doorway, alerted by the screaming of you and Kid, but seeing what was actually happening, turned around and left before he could be pulled in.

             After what felt like a lifetime the merciful cry of “Land!” was heard, and you could’ve cried with relief.

+++++++

The Victoria Punk nearly crashed into port in its haste as the dead of night was broken abruptly by lanterns lighting and men shouting from the ship. The town was clearly prosperous, you could see it in the pristine white walled houses that lined the cobblestone walkways. A place like this would normally be a prime target to loot and burn, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

Kid leaped from deck to shore before the gangplank had been pulled, followed by Killer carrying you bridal style.

“Watch the ship! We’ll be back!” Kid called to whomever was within earshot on board.

As the two men sprinted down the street, spurred on by your increasing groans of discomfort, both come to the realization that neither knows where the other is going. The houses are nearly identical and mostly likely residential, with tall trees and manicured gardens blocking sight of the roads ahead. Kid swerved to the nearest house, banging against the front door hard enough to splinter it, “Wake up! Where’s the doctor? We got a delivery!”

When the door looked ready to crack in two, its opened by a very disgruntled and sleepy middle-aged man, who took one look before screaming.

“Eu-Eu-Eutass Kid!”

The door slammed shut, followed by several clicks of locks.

Kid turned with a satisfied smirk, “Look at that,” he jerked a thumb at the door, chest puffed in pride, “I’ve got some reputation here.”

“Kid!” you and Killer demanded in unison.

“Right, yup, shitting a watermelon.”

At the next house, Killer pulled back Kid before he approached the door, “Let me this time.” He set you gingerly to the ground, making sure you were steady on your feet before knocking more politely. After a minute or two, a bedraggled looking young man opened the door. His eyes shot open as he processed the men and woman before him and motions to shut the door, but Killer is quicker, planting a foot in the entrance to hold it open.

“Listen,” he grabbed the man by his silk robe before he can run, “my girl is about to have my baby, we just need to know where the doctor in this town is.”

“Y-You can’t t-tell me what to do, pirates!” he’d admit, this guy had some guts, but Killer was in no mood. He was about to unleash a scythe to help make him talk before your voice caught his ears.

“Look here buddy!” clearly you were in no mood either, “I am crowning as we speak, so either you tell us where to find a doctor, or I hike up my dress, squat down, and have the baby right here on your goddamn lawn!”

If it were even possible, the man’s eyes widened more, a hand to his mouth in horror. Lights from neighboring houses were beginning to flicker on to see what the commotion was.

“O-Oh- “the man muttered, “Oh no- no no no! Do not do that!”

“I’m gonna do it so help me!” you screamed.

“She’ll do it,” Killer reiterated.

“Where’s your fucking doctor!?” Kid bellowed from the sidewalk.

A loud groan of agony ripped from you, and seeing you reach down to gather up your skirt, the man finally snapped to action.

“Okay! Okay, just, don’t do that!” he grabbed your hands away from your clothes, but released them immediately seeing the deadly glare Kid had sent. Hands raised in submission, he continued, “the doctor’s not far, just go down the road here and-“

A large solid metal hand clasped his shoulder and cuts him off. The grip is anything but friendly as Kid’s lips stretched into a manic grin.

“Oh no, you’re gonna take us there buddy.”

Even in the lamplight, the man’s skin has dropped three shades paler, “I-I…”

Once Killer stands behind him, trapped between these two wanted pirates, he knows he doesn’t have a choice.

+++++++

             When they reached the doctor’s house, said physician, a wrinkled little old man of at least sixty, saw the pained look on your face and the straining swell of stomach and immediately pulled you in without question. With a strength surprising to his age, the doctor had pushed back Kid and Killer, keeping them in the adjacent room while he phoned to a nurse and got you settled. Your unlucky escort had managed to slip away in the chaos, most likely returning to the safety of his home.

             Kid and Killer now sat awkwardly in the small quaint waiting room, the nurse having already arrived and sounds of increasing discomfort echoing from through the door. Killer had his helmed head in his hands, knee bouncing erratically as Kid tried to find something to say to help his friend. Another cry ripped from the doctor’s room, making them both flinch. Kid fiddled with the metallic end of this prosthetic fingers as a thought dawned on him for the first time.

             “Killer…you’re gonna be a dad.”

             Killer barely muffled the snort that left him as he picked his head up, “Did you just now realize that?”

             “No! I just- “he struggled around for the right words, “…it’s all gonna be different now, won’t it?”

             “Probably.”

             Kid’s eyes returned back to his hands; brow furrowed. The silence between them stretched, broken only by the carnal noises that came muffled through the other room. Killer looked toward his closest friend, head still bowed in thought, and agreed in his head. It would be different now, as soon as he walked through that door and met this new child that would become the center of his life, things never would be the same. Even their day to day sailing that seemed so simple would change. And he realized now that Kid was thinking the same thing.

             “Kid.”

             He grunted in response.

             “It’ll be different but, in a good way.” Killer said, “just think of it like…getting a new crew member.”

             Kid barked in laughter, “A useless crewmember.” Killer shot him a look, “Sorry,” Kid continued, “you know what I mean.”

             Killer sighed and rested his head against the wall behind him.

             “At least they won’t be alone,” Kid said.

             Killer turned to him, though Kid kept his face down, but he knew what he meant. He remembered how hard it had been growing up alone and on his own, and how things had gotten just a bit easier after meeting Kid. Remembered how hard it was even with the two of them, just to get by and put food in their stomachs, to not get mugged or killed, and even if something happened there would be no one to mourn that loss except the other. But this child, they wouldn’t have to know that suffering, the pain of trying to sleep in the freezing night while your body cried out for food and warmth. They would never be alone or abandoned like them. Kid met his stare now; his eyes were deep in some long-forgotten memory.

             “No,” Killer said, “they won’t. Never.”

             Kid nodded, a silent promise.

             The moment broke when the door cracked open, the doctor’s wrinkled face peeking through, “Which of you is the father again?”

             Killer sprang to his feet.

             “Come with me, you’ve got someone to meet,” the doctor said and returned into the room.

             Killer moved forward but sent one look back at his friend before he walked through the door. Anyone else wouldn’t see the slightest tremor in his arms, but Kid wasn’t anyone.

             “Go on,” he gave Killer a lop-sided grin, “go meet your new brat and be gross with Y/N.”

             Even through the mask, Killer’s grin could be felt, “Thanks.”

[shimmersing]

Queued

Characters: Erithon Zale, Republic Trooper; Aitahea Daviin, Jedi Consular; Elara Dorne; respective Trooper & Consular crewmembers.

Setting: The Trooper’s Ship, Triumph Rising, immediately prior to Corellia

Spoilers: Through Chapter 3

Summary: Cut off from communications and distractions while in hyperspace, Erithon finds himself penning a desperate missive to a certain Jedi… but does he have the courage to send it? Meanwhile, the Barsen’thor considers the larger ramifications of her personal decisions, and even the Force brings no comfort.

Notes: Solidly inspired by Lauv’s “i’m so tired…” and thank you to @taraum for beta-reading. <3

“I’m so tired of love songs,” Erithon muttered, muting the crackling audio and flipping the datapad to the end of his bunk. They were en route to Corellia, open war calling Havoc to the front lines. Everything was a disaster.

Erithon snatched up the datapad again. “Thanks but no thanks, Galactic Top Forty,” he grumbled, scrolling through the limited music they’d picked up while in orbit over Voss. Being both isolated and neutral, the list of updates from the Core was woefully small.

Once in hyperspace, Erithon and his crew had found themselves with several hours to kill before reaching Corellia. Havoc was doing their usual routines to prep for a challenging mission: Elara & Aric having a pleasant argument about regulations, Yuun meditating or researching, Vik had taken up trying to teach Forex to play sabaac (strangely, the droid couldn’t seem to outwit the Weequay after two weeks; Vik was of course cheating).

Erithon had promised Elara he’d try to sleep.

[AO3 flavor found here.]

But every little noise the Triumph Rising made as she careened through hyperspace got on Erithon’s last nerve, conjuring visions of impossible stray hyperspace garbage tearing his ship to pieces, or dropping out of hyperspace out to find Corellia in Imperial hands and his allies in the hands of-

Augh, stop it.

So he turned on the only music he could find in the datapad’s drive, something months old already, never listened to. A young man opined about love songs, perhaps a statement on the music business more than his actual love life.

It was something Aitahea had recommended, laughing that she had a youngling’s taste in music, but she had been raised in Jedi enclaves after all. Of course that was ridiculous because despite saying that, she’d sent him everything from a rare recording of the Cathedral of Winds to some cantina band off Tattooine.

Her galaxy seemed so expansive, so engaging, and he had somehow found a place in it. He wasn’t about to let that go just because the war was back on and the Core Worlds were fracturing and-

He saw the messages icon out of the corner of his eye, blinking in electronic frustration when it couldn’t connect to the holonet feed, interrupted as they were in hyperspace.

A message.

Why not? He wasn’t sleeping, so he might as well make the most of his time.

***

Listen.

I love you.

I should have told you on Voss. By the Core I should have told you on Alderaan if I’m being either honestly stupid or stupidly honest, probably both. I’m not sappy enough to take “love at first sight” seriously, and I don’t think you are, either. But we’re living out some old fairytale here, don’t you think?  

I’m sorry I kissed you on Nar Shaddaa. No, I mean, I’m not. I mean, I took advantage of our position. But then you kissed me back, and then you were mad about that, and it was a screw up, but I can’t bring myself to regret it.

I’m sorry I didn’t kiss you on Voss. You have never failed to give everything for everyone, no matter who they are. From the moment we met - on Taris I mean, not to mention when we were kids but that’s a whole other message to be honest.

I don’t remember giving anyone permission to write me as the love interest in a holodrama. Where was I?

Every time we meet somehow you end up in my arms, and I haven’t stopped feeling thrilled when I find you there again. I’ve seen you take your gloves off when you see me coming. Not for your crew, not for mine, not for the damn Jedi Council or the Chancellor. Me.

So on Voss there you were in my arms again and for a minute I thought you were dying, and I couldn’t tell you I loved you and that there was so much that I did and didn’t regret saying and doing. For you. With you.

And Corellia will probably kill us so I needed you to know. I’m okay if we can’t be together, I can accept that, and I’m not sure what I’ve done in this life to deserve someone like you anyway.

You told me once we found each other when we needed the other most. I have never needed, wanted, anything more in my entire life than you. It’s complicated, I know, but if we somehow survive this I promise it’ll be worth it.

See you soon.

***

Erithon pushed send.

Fuck.

He punched at the screen a few times, frowned, and then his eyes went wide. “Wait. The relay. Wait.”

This is bad very bad but there’s maybe a chance-

Erithon skidded out of his quarters and through the ship looking for Dorne.

“Elara!” he called, fighting to keep his voice even. The medic appeared in the doorway of the med bay alone, eyes still on her datapad. Erithon exhaled explosively, relieved. “Hey, Elara, can you delete a message from the hyperspace relay queue?”

Dorne dropped her “Per regulations, sir, I’m not allowed, it would have to be you or Jorgan. I can only-”

“Fine, permission granted, whatever, can you do it? You have the helm, so I’m locked out of messaging administration.”

“Are you off duty then, sir? I can only return you to service after you’ve rested the allotted period, and it’s only-” Dorne paused to glance at her chrono and Erithon took the opportunity to interrupt the fastidious officer again.

“Elara, it was to Aitahea.”

Dorne’s face went deathly still for a moment before she recovered her usual aplomb. “I take your meaning, sir. Give me a few moments.”

Dorne rushed back into the med bay while Erithon paced the room a few times. He looked at an old analogue chrono on the wall (when had they gotten that?) and watched the seconds tick by. How long had it been? When were they due to drop out of hyperspace?

“Sir?”

Erithon jumped at Elara’s soft query, wrapped tight in his thoughts. “Yeah?”

“It’s taken care of, sir.” Elation clasped her hands in front of her, flustered. “Yes, sir.” She pauses for a moment, gathering her courage. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Of course,” Erithon replied, distracted by relief.

“Sir, we all adore Master Aitahea. Even Vik, I think. And we can see that…” Elara shifted awkwardly. “She’s important to you. We understand if that means things here have to change.”

Erithon turned to look at his medical officer with hollow eyes. “I can’t get an answer out of her, Elara. And now we’re in open war, it just can’t be. She’s a Jedi.”

“Sir, I’ve actually studied the Jedi recently. It’s rare for them to establish romantic relationships, but not completely unheard of. They have some regulations, not dissimilar to our own.”

Erithon chuckled. “Five credits you know what forms are required from memory.”

“It’s form number fourteen hundred thirty-two A for the ranking officer and number fourteen hundred thirty-seven B for the lower rank, unless one isn’t in the-”

“Thanks, Elara, I get the point.”

“The Barsen’thor technically outranks you, sir.”“Elara.”

The woman sighed. “Sorry, sir.” She turned back towards the medbay, giving her a sidelong glance, a mix of pity and concern. “Page me if you need anything, sir.”

“Yeah.” Erithon missed her pointed expression, back to exploring his snarled feelings.