#lock stock and two smoking barells we are locked and loaded

[siderealscribblings]

99 Years, 11 Months, 28 Days

"No! No, you didn't say she would be here!" Yae Miko hissed, hiding behind Neuvillette's shoulder as a young woman in brown who definitely hadn't been there before grinned at her. "I did not agree to come down here with that demon woman !" 

The demon woman in question was barely taller than Furina, a gangly creature who looked to be more hair and sharp grinning teeth than a person. The glint in her eye gave Neuvillette pause, as though it might suddenly leap out and spark a fire. On her fingers sparkled a few dozen rings studded with glowing golden lapis that clackled as she waved at Miko. 

"Hiiiiiiiiiiii there Miko~" Hu Tao said to the suddenly terrified kitsune. "What's it been, a hundred and twenty years?"

"Not long enough!" Miko hissed, ears and tail puffing up like an angry cat. "Not nearly long enough!"  

"Who… how did you get in here?!" Neuvillette demanded, glaring at Zhongli. "Did she come with you ?" 

"If you want to be pedantic, I came here with her ," Zhongli shrugged. "Traveling across the continent is no small feat without a psychopomp to ease the passage." 

"And I've been here the whole time," Hu Tao sighed. "You held the door for me ; looked right through me . But nobody ever pays attention to death until it's staring them right in the face." 

"Death?" Neuvillette echoed. "What do you mean death?" 

"Forgive me, this is Hu Tao…better known by her adeptus name as the Unbound Flame," Zhongli said, watching Neuvillette's expression darken. "I take it you are familiar with her office as a chief reaper of souls, mortal and divine?" 

This is the Unbound Flame?! Neuvillette thought. Since his run in with Rex Lapis a few years back, he had spent hours reading up on the Geo Archon's exploits over the years in case they ever tangled again. As death followed war, the Unbound Flame followed Rex Lapis, a capricious little trickster goddess credited with everything from the invention of poetry to the final defeat of Osial's wicked cultists. A formidable force…who Neuvillette expected to be taller or at least look older than a fresh-faced university student. Even after so many years with Furina, it was hard to believe that power could live in such small packages. 

"Anyone who has studied the Archon Wars knows about the Unbound Flame," Neuvillette said quietly. 

"Then you know that no one understands death better," Zhongli said. "And if there is a way to speak with the departed souls of these men, she knows it." 

"Normally I'd let the dead rest, but something tells me these poor fools aren't sleeping quietly just yet," Hu Tao said, leaning in to inspect the corpses closer. "Do you know how they died?" 

Neuvillette glanced at Zhongli who just nodded. "They complained of pain and the gardes that found them said they started swelling suddenly. Further examination reveals their organs all ruptured as they were suffused with a lethal amount of Hydro energy. How that Hydro energy got there, I cannot say. " 

"Aiya, that's a bad way to go," Hu Tao clucked, running her fingers over the dead men's necks with the practiced ease of the world's oldest undertaker. "Osial had water snakes that would swim in rivers and bite our soldiers during the Archon War. They puffed up like this…but it usually took them hours to die. And then there are these weird tattoos."

Hu Tao traced her finger along the slimy tattoo, wiping her fingers as Hydro clung to them. "If we're not dumb enough to send assassins with Milleleth feathers, Focalors isn't dumb enough to brand our soldiers with her sigil before killing them." 

"So what did?" Neuvillette demanded. "Do you have some way to speak with the dead?" 

"Oh she does ," Miko hissed. "She just loves pulling spirits out of the threshold between worlds to torture people for her sick pleasure!" 

"You know, for someone who likes to mess with people as much as you do, I thought you'd be able to take one little joke with a little more grace," Hu Tao clucked. 

"I was lost in the forest for three days convinced that I had fallen into a plane of the Abyss!" Miko snapped. "You chased me around disguised as a giant vishap and convinced the tanuki that I was their lost queen and needed to be kidnapped for my own safety!" 

"...like I said, one joke." 

"I don't mean to interrupt," Neuvillette said, though that was exactly what he meant. "But there is a small matter of national security we need to deal with." 

"Now that is a small matter," Hu Tao sighed. " National security always struck me as an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp or living dead. As soon as you secure the stupid thing, it goes and gets itself insecure all over again." 

"You don't say?" Neuvillette said, his limited social graces already stretched to their breaking point. "Can you speak with the spirits of these dead men or can't you ?" 

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Chapter 1