#lmk what yall think!! this is my first comedy centered fic after all

[teenytinystorage]

Operation Double Date

Remus wants to ask Deceit out on a date, and he attempts to do exactly that in quite possibly the dumbest way ever. Logan and Virgil are there too.

Warnings: Multiple food mentions, multiple death mentions (but just as humor, no one actually dies), cannibalism mention, censored cursing, inappropriate remarks, Remus being Remus (aka one murder mention & a non-descriptive amputation mention), minor anxiety/panic depictions

Word Count: 4,720

Genre: RomCom

Pairings: Demus/Dukeceit + Platonic Analogical

I hope y’all like my first comedy-centric fic!! Enjoy :>

-

Virgil scoffed. “You do realize this is a terrible plan, right?”

Remus started to pace.

“Quite so,” Logan added, “Why can’t you just court him yourself?”

“Because, uh… I don’t know! I don’t know if he likes me or not and this just seems like a better solution!”

“First of all, me and L aren’t even together,” Virgil leaned his head back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

“And even if we were,” Logan started.

“--Theoretically.”

“--Yes, theoretically romantic partners, I wouldn’t surmise that either of us would be content with going to a clamorous production for our first outing.”

“It’d give me too much social anxiety and Lo just isn’t the type for loud metal music. And ‘Cobra’ would totally get suspicious about it! He may be a clueless moron, but he’s not a fool.”

“Hey, only I can use Cobra for his nickname! It’s mine,” Remus pouted, hurling his hands towards the ground.

“Virgil’s correct, though. So why is this a better solution again?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Listen, could you guys just do this one favor for me?” Remus threw his hands up. “It’ll work great. He loves spying out and being all sneaky and cute and stuff. Virgil is his nemesis and Logan, you’re my nemesis, so it’ll be a great spying session together! It’ll be perfect! It’ll be like we’re not even on a date at all. Casual.”

Virgil and Logan still weren’t convinced.

“You guys still owe me for the bottle of Hidden Valley ranch I chugged last week that you bet I couldn’t chug,” Remus aimed an accusatory pointer finger at Logan and Virgil.

“We never bet that,” Logan pointed out. “You just wanted to guzzle ranch dressing like you would a glass of water after a temperate summer day, and we watched you do it, in front of us. It was deplorable.”

“I still have chills from seeing that,” Virgil shivered. “Ugh..”

Remus defeatedly sighed. “Okay, okay, I get it. You guys are right. But please? I really want to go out with him but I have no idea how he feels about me and I’m too scared he’ll say no. Could you just please do this for me?”

“Wait, let me get this right, let me make sure I’ve got this one-hundred percent down,” Virgil lifted his hand. “So you want me and Logan to go on a concert ‘date’ to see bands we don’t know and don’t care about when we aren’t even together just so you can convince Deceit to come spy on us with you so you can nonchalantly go on a casual date with him and then… what, go out with him?”

A pause. “Yes.”

Logan immediately replied “No.”

“Please! I’ll pay for the tickets. And the concessions. And the band shirts too! It’ll be fun! Please???”

The two started to consider it, albeit reluctantly.

“And I’ll never drink another bottle of ranch ever again.”

“You got a deal,” Virgil nodded.

Remus lit up with a beaming smile, shaking his arms and squealing, almost bouncing right off the carpet.

Virgil leaned over to Logan. “It’s weird to see him excited like this. It’s like he’s Patton or something.”

“Agreed. Him being expressive in wholesome emotions is as common an occurrence as aerodynamic swine.”

“Thank you so so so much!” Remus cheered, running over to the couch and lifting up both Logan and Virgil in a ginormous bear hug. Swol.

“Yep-- sure thing, can you please put us down now?” Virgil choked out.

“Oh. Right.” Remus dropped the two of them back onto the couch.

“So this shall be occurring Friday evening?” Logan confirmed, fixing his glasses that were askew from the landing.

“According to the schedule, yeah! I’ll bring over the tickets by tomorrow. Thank youuuu~!”

“You’re, reluctantly, welcome,” Logan nodded.

“I’ll take it!” Remus shouted as he immediately sunk down into his room.

And thus began the terrible plan.

-

It started off simple enough. The plan was set into motion the day Remus bought the four tickets, two for the “couple” and another two for himself and Deceit. He then decided to approach the matter of asking Deceit to go spy with him in a nonchalant, calm, put-together, casual way.

“Deceit, Deceit, you won’t belieeeeve what I heard Virgil and Logan are doing this Fridayyyy!” Remus yelled, just having risen up into Deceit’s room.

Deceit set down the book he was in the middle of reading. “What did you hear?”

“Oh my gosh!” Remus pranced over, rolling himself over the top of Deceit’s couch and collapsing onto its cushions stomach-down, holding his chin in his hands and waving his legs back and forth. “I heard that they’re going out on a date together!”

Deceit crossed his left leg over his right one, holding his hands together in his lap. “Really?”

“I swear, it’s true! I just overheard them. Oh it was so sweet and adorable and disgusting. You should’ve heard the cutesy things Virgil said to Logan, you would’ve love-hated it so much.”

Deceit started to smirk. “Truly horrid. Did you happen to hear where they were going?”

Remus cackled loudly. “Ohohoh, you bet I did! They’re going to the punk band concert across town. We have got to go and see what they’re doing out there!”

“Certainly,” Deceit agreed. “I remember the outdoor concert stage has a chain-link fence around it that we can hide behind to watch through. You remember, from the other time we spied on Virgil?”

“There’s no need for scouting around fences and thorny bushes!” Remus grinned, flaunting two tickets in his hand. “I already bought us tickets.”

“My my, Squid, such a rascal!” Deceit teased. “We are absolutely going.”

Remus smiled pridefully. His plan was working!

Now all that was left was the entire rest of the plan and making sure this thing didn’t hit the fan. Oh, right. Whoops. Remus forgot about that.

-

About a half-hour before the performance was when the actual plan’s doings started.

Remus, Logan, and Virgil all met outside the concert entrance by the chain-link fence. And Remus, to say the least, was disappointed.

“You two look like this is some Saturday lazy-day shindig!” Remus scoffed.

“I thought this was a casual gathering, wasn’t it?” Logan asked, dressed in a checkered flannel short-sleeve and denim jeans.

“Yeah, but you’re too casual! Where’s the style, the finesse, the pizazz? I’d wear these outfits to my own court trial, and that is not a good thing!”

“What’s wrong with casual?” Virgil asked, dressed in an oversized black hoodie and black jeans.

“You’re supposed to be going on a date together!”

“So?” Logan continued.

“These outfits!” Remus gestured madly. “They aren’t date-worthy!”

“You’re not that fancily dressed either, Mr. Only-Tuxes-On-Dates.”

Virgil was justified in that comment, seeing as Remus was dressed in a thin gray tank top and short black biker shorts, the combat boots he wore not adding anything to his leg coverage.

“Deceit doesn’t know that this is a-- oh whatever. You two know what to do, right?”

“As in what to do in order to imply that Virgil and I have romantic relations with one another?” Logan affirmed.

“Yes. Holding hands, leaning on the shoulder, maybe a peck on the cheek if you’re feeling a bit special. Got it?”

“Sure. Don’t expect me to be all touchy-feely, though,” Virgil shrugged. “That’d just make Deceit even more suspicious.”

Remus peered over his shoulder and quickly panicked. “He’s coming!”

“Speak of the devil,” Logan commented.

“Here’s your twenty bucks, spend it on whatever you’d like,” Remus shoved a twenty dollar bill towards Virgil, who grabbed it hastily and stuffed it in his hoodie pocket. “Ok, good? Go to the stage! Quickly!” Remus stammered out, shoving Logan and Virgil towards the concert entrance that was decked out with metal detectors and security and all.

“You’re welcome,” Virgil snidely remarked, before walking away saying “You know idioms, L?”

“I do know some.”

Remus then started to nervously whistle as Logan and Virgil entered the stage together, his whistling having added nothing to the cool persona he tried to assume as he leaned on the chain-link fence, one foot up and the other on the ground, and tilted his head up towards the starry night sky, a.k.a. Cool Guy 101, despite being in Florida heat and not being any bit ventilated whatsoever.

He quickly snuck a few glances at Deceit, who slowly approached the stage with his hands in his leather jacket pockets, his Converse-clad feet stepping against the sidewalk, his black jean-clad legs swishing against each other, his hair that was tucked into a floppy black hat waving slightly as he walked, and he still didn’t notice Remus yet on his way over.

He then, soon after, did notice Remus and lit up with a sly smile. Remus, in turn, gave back the same sly smile. Or at least he thought it was sly; maybe his smile pertained more to those exuberant drool-dripping bulldog beamings than it did a smile of a Cool Guy 101.

“Can you believe that they’d have such good taste for venues?” Deceit greeted. “I’d suspect they would’ve taken a spot at the local Barnes & Noble for their first date, if not a dusty old library filled with mites.”

“Right? That or an abandoned haunted house,” Remus added, causing Deceit to add a chuckle in response. “I just saw them go in!”

“Well then, we have to follow along!” Deceit locked his arm in Remus’s and speedily guided them over to the concert entrance, to which Remus immediately panicked because OH GEEZ ALMIGHTY HE GRABBED ONTO MY ARM ALREADY THIS IS GOING WAY BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD.

They handed over their two tickets, explored the concessions venue and the merch stands, both of which being insanely overpriced (as Deceit put it, “I could buy a car for the same price of this whole merchandise stand,” and as Remus put it, “I could bail myself out of jail for manslaughter with that much”), and eventually grabbed their standing spots near the back left of the crowd, a perfect viewpoint for the middle right spot Virgil and Logan managed to nab.

Perfect! The plan was going great. Now just to make sure the concert went well, and that Virgil and Logan didn’t mess this whole romance thing up before Remus did (or more than Remus already had). Oh boy.

-

As the night continued and as the real spying began, it became painstakingly obvious that Deceit could tell something was off.

“They aren’t even holding hands,” Deceit whisper-yelled under the blare of the speakers that just were starting to rev back up once another punk band took the stage, dyed mohawks and piercings and all. “You’d think they’d be more like--” Deceit quickly grabbed Remus’s hand and lifted it in the air, cheering loudly “Wooo!”

And as Deceit grabbed his hand and lifted it into the air, Remus started to feel himself slip into what is diagnosed clinically as the terrifying “gay panic,” and if the crowd cheering and the guitar riffs weren’t as loud, his cursed emoji heavy breathing would be the loudest noise at the concert.

Deceit then quickly let go of Remus’s hand afterward, giving Remus a moment for his heart to restart from its brief 5k marathon inside his ribcage.

There were a few of those moments interspersed between blaring music and Deceit’s skittish gossip, such gossip being:

“Do you see that? Only halfway through do they even brush palms. What is this, some sort of middle school dance?” Deceit chittered.

Remus, of course, laughed and agreed outwardly, but inwardly he ran over to Logan and Virgil and slapped them so hard their faces turned as pink as a rare-cooked filet. No, not rare, an uncooked filet. How could they mess something as easy as holding hands and shoulder leaning up so bad?!

Although, thankfully, Deceit never seemed suspicious of this activity or doubtful of them going out together; he just gossiped about it and made scathing commentary of the two sides, which was pretty funny to listen to.

It was also strangely personal and revealing as well.

“If this is the stuff that passes for a romantic relationship, we might as well already be married,” Deceit commented at one point during the show when the final band was being announced.

“Hah! Right?” Remus agreed, but he was, once again, dying of gay panic internally. Did Deceit mean anything by that, getting married?! Send some clear signals here, dude, Remus cursed internally, ‘cause right now they’re more mixed than a Russian roulette bowl of M&Ms and Skittles and aquarium gravel! And Remus would only willingly eat one of those! (Hint, it’s not the edible options.)

Deceit gave a short chuckle in response before ushering him and Remus out of the concert hall so Logan and Virgil wouldn’t find them spying.

“Thanks for taking me along to spy,” Deceit bopped Remus in the arm, grinning, as they walked out. “That was fun!”

“Yeah!” Remus smiled widely, his teeth shining through his pointed lips. “We’ve got to do this again!”

“For sure. Let me know when they’ve got another ‘date,’” Deceit used air quotes, causing Remus to let out a hearty belly laugh in response.

“Seeya,” Deceit waved his hand and started to walk back home.

“Bye.”

Remus stared in lovesick longing, holding onto the part of his arm that Deceit bopped. Remus wondered if he could amputate the arm and keep it in his room to admire. He can regenerate limbs, right? He’s technically imaginary. It’d be like refusing to wash your face after someone pecks you on the cheek, except even gorier and also very much creepier.

Before he could decide that, though, the concert hall emptied into the sidewalk and across the various crosswalks around the busy street. And soon enough Logan and Virgil walked out together, arm-locked-in-arm, talking together.

They then spotted Remus and saw no Deceit around. Virgil slipped his arm out of Logan’s and headed over.

“So how was your ‘playdate’?” Virgil mocked.

“Hah!” Remus cackled, “If anyone was play-dating out there, it was you two. I can’t even count the number of times he pointed out how virginal you both were for holding hands!”

“Personally I thought we were quite convincing as a romantic pair,” Logan commented, “Not all couples have to be favorable towards PDA, you know.”

“Sure, sure. But where’s the fun in that?” Remus shrugged.

“Whatever. We went to your concert and did your date thing,” Virgil grumbled. “At least it’s over now.”

A car zoomed by, kicking loose gravel up onto the sidewalk.

“Go on another date!” Remus blurted out.

“What?” Logan and Virgil uttered at the same moment.

“You have to!” Remus started. “I told Deceit that we’d have to go on another one of our spying sessions and it’d be stupid to say that you went on just one date together!”

“We only acceded to one date,” Logan started.

“And if you aren’t little b*tches, you can go on another,” Remus scoffed. “How hard can it be?”

“hOw hArD CaN It bE?” Virgil mocked. “I think I’m gonna lose my hearing by 40 thanks to that scream-fest if you’re that curious.”

“That still means you got a good 10 years left. And you might as well go on another! It’ll be fun. And hey, you guys can go somewhere you’d like this time. My treat.”

“Your treat my a**,” Virgil huffed.

“I’m assuming nowhere in the house nor at any public library counts as an ideal date spot to you.” Logan rolled his eyes.

“No, actually, those could work.” Remus’s eyes brightened up. “Yeah! Those could work!”

“Wait, really? You were just talking about how we were supposed to be wearing suit-jackets to this concert thing, like, 2 hours ago.” Virgil tilted his head. “How can either of those places meet your standards, oh modern reincarnate of Eros himself?”

“I’m flattered by that, Virgin Sanders,” Remus bowed, Virgil grumbling all the same, “but really, where were you thinking of inside the house?”

“I’m not entirely sure. Your room, Virgil?” Logan turned to the anxious side, who just shrugged and mumbled in response “Sure.”

“Great!” Remus clapped. “This’ll be great. Me and Dee already know the best hiding spots there where no one can find us, so that’ll be a piece of cake.”

“How do you know th--”

“That’s beside the point!” Remus interrupted. “That is a fabulous idea! Oooh, I’ll have to tell Dee all about this. Thank you thank you thank youuuuu~! Toodaloo!” Remus cheered, waving his hand and briskly walking down the sidewalk and back to the house, thinking all the while about the next date.

“Seriously, how do Remus and Deceit know where to hide in my room?”

-

Now, of course, the second date went on as the first did. Deceit and Remus spied on Logan and Virgil doing vaguely friend/couple things, Deceit mocked them a few times and Remus narrowly avoided death from gay panic much more than a few times.

But, of course, there had to be the inevitable “Let me know when they’ve got another date” from Deceit at the end of the spying session.

And, okay, sure, Remus and Logan and Virgil only agreed on one more date, but Remus thought that it should be fine to violate that plan for just one more, right? Also Remus has no self-control and it’d be easier for him to find a frog with sixty legs than to deny himself.

“No! How many times do we have to tell you this?” Virgil groaned.

“Pleaseeee!!!” Remus whined, “I swear, this’ll be the last oneeeee!”

“That’s precisely what you promised when you brought a raccoon into the living room last week before you proceeded to bring in four more throughout the rest of the week.” Logan regarded. “How can we possibly confide in your claim this time?”

“But it’s fuuuuuuun for you twooooo…” Remus fussed, collapsing onto the floor like a toddler having a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store because mom said no fruit snacks. “And it’s fun for me and Deeeee…”

“You know what?” Virgil threw his hands up. “Fine. If we go on another date and it’ll make you stop whining, we’ll do it. But just one more.”

Little did Virgil know him and Logan would proceed to go on three more dates together.

The whole situation escalated from a movie date to hanging out in Logan’s room playing board games to a high class dinner, fancy clothing requirement and all. How Remus convinced them to go? No one knows.

(He said he’d pay with Thomas’s credit card and he dressed them both up all fancy-like for free with the finest of the mindspace boutique, aka Roman dressed them and Remus dolled over them the whole time.)

In the end, Logan and Virgil did indeed end up going on a “date” to an ornate restaurant together, dressed in usual navy blue tie and black polo with an added white suit jacket and a purple button-up with a black tie and a black suit jacket respectively. The shiny crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and the dainty white tablecloths and the five types of forks and spoons on the table that were ultimately exactly the same made the fact that the date was forced slightly more bearable. But not by much.

“Can you believe this? Virgil fumed, seconds away from chopping himself in half like a piece of Wagyu filet. “We only ever agreed on one, and now we’re on our fifth date, thanks to that dumb duke.”

“Personally I don’t entirely mind these get-togethers. In essence they’re more platonic dates than anything.”

“But he’s making us do this! Go on dates! Act like a couple, like we’re some sort of— puppets!” Virgil whisper-yelled, clutching his fists together on the dainty table cloth.

“I really don’t understand what’s the cause of your endless frustration, Virgil. Sure Remus has been a bit critical of our ‘performances,’ if you’ll call them that, but these are really just friend hangouts. We don’t even go out much anyways,” Logan reasoned, stirring around a gold-trim patterned bowl of French onion soup.

Virgil grumbled, putting his head down on the table.

Meanwhile, Remus and Deceit sat a few tables across and watched the madness transpire like you would watch a matador from the spectator stands let chaos run face-first into them, except replace the matador with someone from the stands and that’s more accurate to the kind of madness that was going on.

“I wonder what dear Virgil is so upset about?” Deceit pondered, his chin resting in his hands as he watched, not at all discreetly, the two dining.

“Oh pFF, he’s probably mad that he’s here instead of at his MCR concert,” Remus sputtered out, anxiously watching Logan and Virgil bicker senselessly a bit across from them.

Virgil, at the same time, felt himself slipping into hysteria. “This is all Remus’s fault! He’s doing this for himself! Doesn’t even care how we feel—”

“Virgil, calm down—”

“I do not need to calm down!”

A waiter walked by Deceit and Remus’s table, refilling their water glasses.

Deceit watched Logan and Virgil in what seemed like excited delight, a rather creepy sight for anyone at the nearby tables, while Remus, the obviously creepier one of the two, watched in anxious wait, bouncing his leg up and down on the softly carpeted floor.

Up and down went Remus’s leg, over and over, as his mind started to race. Would Deceit catch Remus in this lie? Would he finally found out that this whole mess was a contrived scheme in order for Remus to stealthily evade Deceit’s possible rejection? And what if Deceit did reject him once he found out? Would Remus die of grief? Would he spontaneously combust? Would he have to get a new identity and move to New Jersey?!

“Remus,” Deceit interrupted, and Remus’s head twisted back over quickly.

“Huh?”

“You seem uneasy,” Deceit said, his concern lacing his words like ribbons on gifts. “Are you quite alright?”

“Huh? Lil ol’ me? Of course!” Remus smiled lopsidedly, his leg still bouncing on the ground.

Deceit tapped Remus’s leg with his foot. “If this is any proof, you very clearly aren’t.”

Remus mounted his leg on the ground. “Just excitedly waiting in anticipation, that’s all! I can’t wait to see what will happen next with Logan and Virgil.”

Deceit squinted his eyes. “I hope you think I’m not stupid enough to believe that.”

“No, uh!!-- I don’t think you’re stupid--” Remus stammered out.

“Come on, let’s go outside for a minute, shall we?” Deceit stood up from the table, brushing off his suit jacket buttoned tightly over his yellow button-down.

Remus stood up as well, twisting the edge of his black suit jacket around his fingers.

Deceit led Remus outside, and at that point the moon had already awoken to begin the night. A dark cloak blanketed the sky as tiny snowflake stars dotted the night. A light breeze flowed through the air as Deceit and Remus walked over to a white metal bench in front of the restaurant. They both sat down as a car drove past.

“Should we have not come to spy here?” Deceit asked.

“No, no, it was a great idea,” Remus reassured, eyes fixed ahead.

Deceit frowned. “You can tell me if it wasn’t.”

Remus took in a breath, about to admit to Deceit the whole reason these spying sessions existed, aka about to do something without thinking, aka about to follow the same line of thinking he has when he does anything. “Dee--”

That is, he was going to do that, until a scream shattered the air. “DECEIT!” it cried.

The yell came from Virgil, who had madly burst through the doors and approached their bench, and Logan was not far behind.

“Oh sh*t,” Deceit cussed under his breath. “Our cover’s blown.”

Remus, meanwhile, was wondering if a bolt of lightning was about to hit him because of the awful luck he was having.

“You never had any ‘cover’ to begin with,” Virgil huffed. “We’ve known that you two were here since the beginning.”

“What?” Deceit stared confusedly. “How?”

“How? HOW?! Are you really that dumb?!?” Virgil accused, causing Deceit to gasp daintily and, of course, in great offense to Virgil’s statement. “Remus forced us to go on these dates so he could avoid asking you to go out with him! Me and Logan aren’t even together! So now you two spy on us while me and Logan were dragged along to be the reason you two could hang out!”

Deceit raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know you wanted to be a comedian, Virgil.”

“He’s right,” Remus admitted, his head slumped towards the ground.

“Wait, really?” Deceit turned towards Remus.

“Yeah..” Remus frowned, looking up at Deceit.

“So you set up all of these dates for Logan and Virgil just so we could hang out because you were scared that I’d reject you otherwise?”

Remus nodded shamefully.

“Oh, Squid,” Deceit whimpered. “You know I never judge you for anything, right?”

Remus turned away, his head pointed back at the ground.

Deceit sorted through his words, assembling them into meaningful sentences like scattered puzzle pieces into a complete picture. “What I’m saying is, yes. I will go out with you. And…” Remus turned to Deceit. “...I’m rather honored to have been given this much of your dedication.”

Remus met Deceit’s eyes and brightened up immediately, his smile resembling those wide, cheery smiles of dribbly-drooly but still charming bulldogs.

Deceit gave a small grin back in return.

“Alright lovebirds, are we going back inside now or what? A bowl of French onion soup is waiting for me and I wanna get my money’s worth.”

“Hmph. Fine,” Deceit pouted. “Let’s go then. I personally want to try some Wagyu beef, don’t you, Remus?”

“Yeah! Say, have you seen that video where people talk about if there was a Wagyu program for humans and if they’d join it or not?” Remus stood, taking Deceit’s arm in his.

“I haven’t, please tell me more,” Deceit stood as well, him and Remus walking back inside the glassy restaurant doors.

“Alright,” Virgil started, “Now that that’s sorted, let’s get back in. It’s cold and I saw they have pasta here, and you know that I’d die for good pasta,” Virgil headed back towards the door, hands stuffed in his dress pants pockets.

“I certainly do know that,” Logan trailed behind. “What kind of pasta do they serve?”

“Get this, spaghetti carbonara.”

“That’s it, we’re ordering two plates,” Logan declared.

Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, possibly three. The third being for takeout. If they offer that option.”

“There’s my pasta nerd,” Virgil smirked.

The two of them headed back into the sparkly clean restaurant doors, no longer as a pretend couple but now as friends, and really, that was quite a relief.

-

The rest of the meal went well. Deceit and Remus were pleasantly surprised by the Wagyu (although Remus did make an offhand comment about the portion size of the steak being smaller than cow d*ck and how it probably actually was cow d*ck) and Virgil and Logan did indeed order three plates of pasta and managed to finish all three since the restaurant didn’t do takeout and because they didn’t find that out until after they got their food and they weren’t about to waste a good plate of pasta.

After the meal, instead of Deceit’s usual comment of “Let me know when Virgil and Logan go on another date together,” Deceit just smiled and said “This was fun!”

“Yeah, it was!” Remus smiled back, his teeth beaming through his pointed lips.

“So, would next Tuesday work for our next outing?” Deceit asked.

Remus nodded excitedly. “Yep!”

“Perfect. Say, how about we go to the reptile expo across town? I heard it was going to be all next week.”

“I love it! They won’t notice if we take a python or two home with us, will they?”

Deceit burst out laughing. “Oh Squid, you’re such a hoot!”

And Remus just smiled and laughed along, because now this wasn’t Logan and Virgil’s date anymore, it was their date and their date alone.

-