#lmk if you have any questions comments concerns etc

[bucky-barmes]

♥︎ Destined (To Fail?) ♥︎

[ gif from @topgundaily ]

bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x f!mitchell!reader

in which you get called back to top gun to teach the next detachment. sounds like a dream gig until your two most hated men are there also

chapter one: here we go again

a/n: this is going to be relatively canon to the new film, just with lil tweaks here and there to make it flow smoothly. readers callsign is highness, thought it was pretty clever of me seeing as she's mav's daughter (also it just sounds badass af), reader also has a name as i felt it's just what felt right and flowed well with the story (and totally not just now realising that the first and last name start with the same letter like bradley so let's just pretend i did that on purpose) also i am but a humble australian writing about the us navy so if i got anything incorrect pls either let me know nicely or just deal with it bc i don't even know anything about my own navy let alone another country's

word count: ~3.5k words

contains: this story is gonna be angsty so hold on to your butts, already angsty af from the get go, swearing (are we surprised?), rocky relationship with father(figure), hangman being a flirtatious lil shit, reader being a badass, i think that's about it but pls lmk if i missed anything!!

as always, reblogs/comments/feedback/etc are always always always appreciated and wanted ♥︎ pls i crave external validation

my blog is 18+ only, minors dni

[ all my work is my own and not to be reposted or translated anywhere else ]

You and Bradley Bradshaw were destined for each other. Growing up together, you were inseparable, seeing each other daily. Spending just about every second of the day in each others company.

After everything that happened with Goose, Maverick swore to never leave the family’s side. Even when his own relationship was falling apart. Nothing could come between Mav and protecting that family.

So, ever since Bradley was born, exactly 1 year and 2 months after you, you had been practically joined at the hip, impossible to separate.

It was no surprise to anyone when you announced that you were officially dating in your teenage years. Although your father would say that he was less than impressed with you dating any boy, even Bradley himself. But he had accepted it, only after a thorough talking to from Carole Bradshaw.

There was only one thing that could come between you and your destiny. Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. And boy did he really get in the way. Really took everything you held dear to yourself and threw it in the dirt, stomping all over it.

~~

“I’m gonna kill him, I swear I’ll fuckin’ kill him!” Bradley stormed through the door, red with rage.

“Brad, what happened?” You were quick to jump up to his side, concern evident in your voice. The paper you eagerly held on to before now an after thought.

“Maverick! He fuckin’ pulled my papers.” There was venom dripping from every word Bradley spoke, anger coursing through his veins. “All of that work, down the drain, everything I’ve done is all for nothing.” He was pacing and throwing his arms in the air, unable to contain the pure rage running through him.

“I’m sure there’s been some sort of misunderstanding, dad would never-”

“No, Mia! You don’t get it, he’s ruined everything, everything I’ve ever worked for!” He was facing you now, yelling, basically spitting his words at you. “You’re his daughter, you’ll never understand, never have to understand. You’re gonna get everything in your life handed to you no questions asked!”

You couldn’t believe his words. Didn’t want to believe his words. They cut deeper than anything anyone had ever said to you.

“You think I have it easy because he’s my father?” You spat back, just as venomous. “I have to work twice as hard as anyone else just to prove that I’m not some nepotism baby. No one’s ever going to appreciate me for my own ability, I’ll only ever be the great Maverick’s daughter!” You threw your hands up in disbelief. Disbelief that he would even think that. Disbelief that you were standing in your kitchen screaming at each other.

“Well I guess we’ll never know.” Bradley chuckled cynically. “If he pulled my papers, there’s no way in hell he’d let you get accepted.” You clenched the paper in your hand harder instinctively, shoving it into his chest.

“That’s why I never told him, I’m not that stupid.” Your eyes narrowed at Bradley as his widened, smoothing out the paper to read.

‘We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance into the Naval Academy in the field of Aviation Welfare’.

Bradley could only stare at you, slack jawed, eyes darting between you and the letter.

“I can’t believe this shit.” He shook his head in disbelief. “This is so fucking bullshit!”

“What the fuck, Bradshaw? I thought we were in this together?”

“Yeah, we were, until your dad pulled my fucking papers.”

“That has nothing to do with me. I didn’t exactly ask for him to be my father. Hell, I would’ve specifically asked not to have him if I could, but I fucking can’t, okay. Are you really going to let this, him, ruin everything?”

“He already has, when he pulled those papers.” You stilled, all emotion draining from you at his words, going numb.

“So this is it? Everything’s over?”

“My life may as well be, thanks to him.”

“Get out of my house.” You had to force yourself not to scream at him, knowing that it wouldn’t help the situation. Bradley said nothing as he stormed out of you kitchen, letting the door slam on his way out.

~~

That was the last time you saw Bradley Bradshaw, your boyfriend, before you left for training.

That was also the last time you referred to Pete Mitchell as your dad. You disowned him as your father and vowed never to forgive him for what he did to Bradley, and subsequently, you. From then on, he was only ever Captain Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell to you.

~

It had been years since you had spoken to either of the two men. Pete had tried to insert himself back into your life, showing up at ceremonies and important events in your life, but you always kept it strictly professional, refusing to acknowledge him as your father.

Bradley, on the other hand, you hadn’t spoken to since the incident back in the kitchen of your family home. You’d never admit it, but you never truly got over him, and you made yourself a promise to never let anyone get close like that again. The two men you should have been able to trust the most destroyed you in a single day. You would never let that happen again.

That’s why you were surprised to receive a call from Admiral Beau ‘Cyclone’ Simpson. You had crossed paths when you attended Top Gun, (like father like daughter right?), but you didn’t think you had made much of an impression on him. You may have kept to yourself, but you also always made your opinion known, even if it was an unpopular one, and definitely put people in their place if they were out of line. But if anyone dared liken you to Maverick you’d have their head for it, as a couple of the men from your Top Gun squadron found out the hard way.

Clearly Cyclone appreciated your skill as well as your personality, because his call was to invite you back to Top Gun to teach the next intake. Something about a mission that was too classified to discuss over the phone.

~

Making your way back to Fightertown had you reminiscing on the ride. You had chosen your trusty Triumph Thruxton to fully enjoy the long journey, packing only your essentials in a large duffel bag secured across your back.

You and Bradley had grown up here. Just about every turn held a memory of the times you spent together.

You didn’t have long to reminisce however, as you were soon pulling into the Top Gun base, back at your old stomping ground. Now, memories came flooding back of your days flying there, coming out top of your squadron. That was potentially the best day of your life, knowing you finally beat Maverick, finally were better than him. That didn’t happen to be the first time you had proved yourself better than him, either.

The briefing for the cause of your return was long and tedious. There was an underground uranium plantation breaking NATO laws that needed to be taken out. You were assigned with teaching the best of Top Gun how to succeed in this, and most importantly, to teach them how to all make it back home. Your main task was to ensure the team became just that, a team. Easier said than done when most of the pilots that graduated top of the class had an ego to match. But you were always up for a challenge.

Seeing as you were now back in your old stomping ground, you thought it was only fitting to visit Penny at the Hard Deck after the briefing, you definitely needed a drink after the news. Maybe you could even scope out some of the class while you were there.

As you stepped through the door of the bar, you were greeted with the familiar buzz of chatter and music from the juke box. It was only mid afternoon, but the place was already lively.

You made a beeline for the bar, dodging already tipsy bodies moving around the room chaotically and thumped your hand on the bar twice to get Penny’s. You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your lips as she angrily turned to see who had the audacity to get her attention like that. But her death glare soon slipped to a shocked grin when she spotted you, dropping her cloth to give you a hug over the bar that was so tight you thought she might crack a rib.

“Mia! What the hell are you doing back around here?” Penny poured you a beer as she gave you a questioning side glance.

“Apparently they need some new life ‘round here to teach the new- well old new meat.” You flashed her a smirk over the rim of your glass she had handed you before taking a sip.

“Well, god help the poor souls that cross your path in that classroom.” She returned your smirk easily.

“Penny, my dear,” a tanned, blond-haired man approached the bar opposite you, a smirk on his lips that you just knew was there 98% of the time. “I’ll have another round on my tab, please.” He threw in a wink for good measure. Then, his eyes were on you, widening slightly at the sight of you as he chewed on the toothpick between his teeth.

“Well, well, well,” the blond made his way around the bar to stand next to you. He leaned an elbow on the bar and rested his palm on his defined chin. “And who do we have here?” There’s a glint of something, lust, surely not, in his eyes as they roam over your features.

“Who wants to know?” Eyeing him up and down right back as you took another long sip of your beer, only your look was one more of annoyance than lewd interest.

“She’s a woman of mystery, Hangman,” Penny placed his 3 beers on the bar for him. “Good luck.” Winking at you before she returned back to the other customers waiting.

“So, Hangman? You like word puzzles or something?”

Hangman couldn’t help the slight snort of laughter that escaped him. “Gotta admit, haven’t heard that one before.” He nodded to his friends as they came over to grab their beers, realising that they’d probably never make it to the pool table they were gathered around. “But,” he glanced back to you. “I guess you’ll just have to find out how I got the name.”

If you were being honest, you zoned out about the time his posse came to rescue their drinks. Your heart had sunk the second you saw his famous Hawaiian shirt walk through the front door, fear only solidified as you heard a voice call out “Rooster, that you?”. You gulped down the remainder of your beer and slapped down a $50 note to cover your drinks, plus some. Your eyes caught Penny’s and you gave her a silent plea of ‘I was never here’, she replied with a knowing nod.

Hangman just stared at you, confusion spread across his handsome features.

“Thanks for the chat, Hangman, but it’s time for me to go.” You spoke as you hastily got out of your seat, eyes flashing to where Bradley was now standing with his friends, his back to you.

“Hey, can I at least get your—” You were up and making your way out the door before Hangman could even finish. “Name.”

“Like I said, Hangman, woman of mystery.”

~

Training began the next day, with only 3 weeks until the uranium plant was operational, you had to get a move on if any of this was going to work.

You were stood at the back of the room, having entered after the candidates were seated, waiting for Admiral Bates to introduce you.

“And she’s one of the greatest pilots I’ve seen come through this program. I give you Rear Admiral Mia Mitchell, call sign Highness.”

Your heavy boots thundered on the concrete floor as you walked up the aisle between the tables to the front. You could feel every single person’s eyes on you, and if you had’ve looked, you would have seen a few staring a little more intensely than others.

You turned on your heel at the front to face the group, flashing Bates a smile before nodding to the team. Eyeing them over your Ray-Bans, you noticed Bradley clench his jaw, avoiding eye contact. Jake Seresin, on the other hand, was clearly trying to hold back his shocked expression and act cool. But you could see him chewing on his gum a little harder.

It was your turn, however, to try and mask your shock as Admiral Bates introduced the second teacher. He and Simpson had warned you that there would be a second person, but gave nothing away on who it might be. Now you knew why.

“His exploits are legendary, and he’s considered to be one of the finest pilots this program has ever produced. I give you Captain Pete Mitchell, call sign Maverick.”

Your whole body stiffened, subtle smirk your lips just held falling slack jawed. The echo of his boots walking up the aisle reverberated in your ears.

He nodded at Bates and then you as he moved to stand beside you. Not him. Anyone but him.

You silently thanked yourself for keeping your Ray-Bans on, otherwise the whole room would have seen the sheer terror in your eyes at what was happening around you, and you couldn’t let the candidates see any weakness.

“I’ll let you two take the floor.” Admiral Bates stepped to the side, allowing you both the freedom to speak.

Pete held up the instruction manual for the F-18 aircraft. “I’m sure you all recognise this, and know it better than the back of your own hands.”

“Hell yeah.” “You’re damn right.” You were able to pick out the voices of Hangman and Coyote as you stared at Pete, wondering where the hell he was going with this. Obviously the team knew the manual, it’s your bible in Top Gun.

Pete dropped the brick of a book into the trash can beside him, and everyone gasped. “Well, so does the enemy. What they don’t know is you, the person in the box. Over the next 3 weeks we’re going to learn every single detail about you, anything we can use to our advantage to win this fight.” You’re sure he felt you stiffen beside him, you could feel his eyes on you from your peripheral.

Pete continued to explain the mission, a uranium plantation going against NATO laws that needed to be destroyed. All happening in 3 weeks. Everyone’s faces mimicked each other, pure shock and concern at how the hell they were going to manage this.

“Anything to add, Rear Admiral Mitchell?” Pete’s voice snapped you back from your mind wandering, you cleared your throat.

“Say again?” You turned to face him, the sound of the candidates in front of you chuckling filling your ears. You forced the red tinge away that was trying to make its way up your neck.

“Do you have anything you’d like to discuss?” Pete gave you a questioning look as he rephrased his question to you.

“Ah, right,” you cleared your throat again, turning to face back to the team in front of you.

“As I’m sure you’ve realised, Captain Mitchell here is in charge of prepping you for the flight and potential fight, the nitty gritty stuff. Well, I’m here to take this roomful of egos and turn it into a team.” You pushed your sunglasses onto your head, allowing your eyes to roam over the group in front of you, lingering on Hangman as you mentioned egos. “My job is to get you working and communicating effectively as a team, so if you have any plans on hanging your teammates out to dry, I’d suggest changing them. If you leave your teammate in a dogfight, 200 pushups; if you sacrifice them to make yourself look better, 200 pushups; if you do anything to put your team at risk, 200 pushups.” The room was silent, your authority bleeding through your words.

“I’m expertly trained in reading people, I can see straight through you if you lie to me, so just make it easier on the both of us and don’t try. I’m here to learn anything and everything about you, to build this team and make sure you all get everyone home safe to their families. Any questions?” The room remained silent, everyone staring at you with wide eyes, even Pete. “Excellent. Training starts at 0600 hours tomorrow, sharp. Dismissed.” The class stood, collecting the notes they had taken and filed out of the room, leaving you and Captain Mitchell alone.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell that was, Mia?” Pete was staring at you square on now, brows knitted together in a mix of concern, confusion and frustration.

“It’s Rear Admiral Mitchell, let’s keep things professional, Captain Mitchell. And to answer your question, that was what I wanted to discuss with the class.” You chose to ignore the way Pete’s body language deflated at your cold manner towards him.

“That was a bit much, don’t you think?”

“We have three weeks to make a team out of the best of the best, we don’t have time to fuck around here, Mitchell. Do you want these guys coming back or not?” Were you a little more blunt than you intended? Maybe, but you really didn’t care.

Pete just shook his head and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I suppose you’re right. You always did know how to win friends and influence people.” He chuckled to himself as he walked out of the room, shaking his head slightly.

~

The last night of freedom before shit got real. The Hard Deck was packed as usual, the whole team for the uranium plantation mission was there, all taking the time to get to know one another better. A fact you wished you’d have been warned about before you stepped foot through the door.

“Highness! Come have a drink with us!” Natasha Trace, aka Phoenix, was already pulling you in the direction of the of the pool table the team was gathered around before you had a chance to protest. Fraternising with the team, your students, wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for your last night off in who knows how long.

“Well, I’m glad to see everyone is getting to know each other better, especially outside of training.” You gave them all a tight-lipped smile, hovering at Bradley for just a touch longer than the others. He just stared at you blankly. Clearly he still wasn’t over everything that happened, you thought to yourself.

“Fancy a round with us, Highness?” Something about the way Jake Seresin spoke your callsign made you uneasy. Not in the sick to your stomach kind of way, just in the way that made you think there was something more beyond what he was saying.

“That depends, you talking pool or beer?” You could feel yourself easing up around them all quicker than you realised, even flashing Seresin a cocky smirk as you answered him.

“I’m sure we could work something out that involves both.” Seresin winked and the rest of the team could only stare in quiet shock at the not-so-subtle flirting going on between the two of you. It made Bradley’s blood boil.

Natasha could see the effect the interaction had on Bradley from a mile away and she nudged his shoulder with her own.

“You good?”

“I’m great.” He replied through gritted teeth, obviously the complete opposite of fine. He could only glare as you accepted the beer Seresin had just bought for you, noticing the trace of a genuine smile behind your usually professional smile. It made him sick. Out of all people, it had to be Seresin?

“And that’s a fuckin’ lie.” Natasha was facing Bradley straight on now, hands on her hips in a way similar to that of a mother concerned for her child.

“Quit it, Trace!” Something about the way Bradley bit at her name made Natasha wince, if he continued on like this, there was no way in hell he was making the cut and they’d be stuck with Hangman as lead. Over her dead body.

Bradley could already sense she was about to press further and cut it off at the source.

“Just fucking leave it, Natasha.” He turned on his heel and stormed off towards the exit before she could protest further, leaving her staring at his retreating figure.

Something about the way he snapped almost made you feel bad for him. Almost. But you weren’t about to let Bradley fucking Bradshaw ruin your night, or your career. He would have to either get over whatever his problem was with you, or pack his bag and walk off the mission. There was no way in hell you were going anywhere, even if you had to work alongside Mav. This was potentially a career-making mission, and nothing was going to stop you from what may be on the other side of it.

perm taglist: @katieshook02

some moots i think might like it: @traitorjoelite @coyotesamachado @callsignvalley @ohtobeleah (pls let me know if you would like to not be tagged in future ♥︎)

[animmortalist]

Fic Update!

Hello, lovelies!! I hope you're all doing well. I wanted to provide this update for anyone who's still reading my fic (aka animmortalist ao3 user), and waiting (so patiently!) for an update on one of my wips.

This is probably gonna be too-long and give more detail than is necessary, so if you just want the cliff notes, feel free to skip to the tl;dr, and that will be followed by a quick hits of this post and what fic updates will look like on ao3 for me in the future.

I want to start by first thanking anyone who has ever read, sent me their thoughts, commented on ao3 or elsewhere, left kudos, shared, etc. re: my fic. I can't express how grateful I am and how I continue to be surprised (in the best way) by it all. You're all the mvps and made the past 3+ years of my life so much better. Each of you helped make me a better writer, and I hope I provided some fun stories (even amongst the angst lol) in return.

If I could, I would write fic all the time and push out updates daily that are well-crafted and that I am proud of. Unfortunately, that's not possible for me, probably ever (but if you're living that life go off we love that for you!!!). I don't know if I'll ever have a truly consistent update schedule, just as a warning. It's not ideal, but I'm learning to accept it, and hope those of you who still want to read my stuff do, too.

I've been dealing with a lot of life stuff the past two years. Like...A wild amount haha. But essentially, I've gotten to a good place with my job, mental health and original writing. All of which were a lot and sometimes a mess for much of 2019-2022. I kind of lost my marbles for a while there, but I want to express how much I appreciate that people are still reading and enjoying my fic. I never thought it would get to where it is now. I am always grateful and so amazed every time I see a new kudos or comment, whether it's a one new or older story.

All of this is to say, I do plan on continuing my work on fic. I can't promise updates all the time, nor can I give a concrete estimate on when they'll be finished. However, I feel committed to my works and want you all to know I'm still writing and thinking about them.

You can find a masterlist of wips here in order of priority. There are certain fics I'm going to prioritize writing over others. This is due to a whole bunch of factors, and while not every wip I've posted is listed, that doesn't mean I won't ever touch it again. But for now, it's not one that I'll be focusing on.

I will probably sprinkle in a oneshot here or there for other fandoms, but that masterlist is my goal to complete. I can't promise it'll be done by the end of year, or really give any concrete date/timeline. I wanted to share it regardless though, just to give an idea for where I'm at with writing. I'll update it as needed—whether that includes the completion of a fic, change in priority, etc.

Please feel to reach out to me with anything on your mind concerning this! I adore you all and sending all the good thoughts your way ♥️

TL;DR:

Fic updates are in the works!

You can find my masterlist of fics (ranked by priority) I'm working on here

I love anyone who's read, commented, left kudos, just told me in anyway that they enjoyed it, etc. re: my fic. You're truly the best and I will forever be thankful for you.

Please lmk if there are any questions (asks here and dms on twitter are always open)

[sorry-moots]

Hi! Sorry about the flood of notifs 😅 found your fic in my tags and gulped the entire 10 chapters in one go! I know you didn't want to add filler chapters but yk they're not filler if something interesting happens in them 👀 And I loved the drama and tension you created between the characters, I'd love to see more scenes when reader starts working with Scara in his office, and when they spend their days on the ship to Sumeru, etc. Bonding scenes like the one when they drank tea, when he made the soldiers shut up, WHEN THERE WAS ONLY ONE HORSE (THAT ONE WAS CHEF'S KISS) and also when he defended her from Dottore....😭😭 Wanna see more of that bonding over both of them being mistreated by him. I just find it so heart wrenching that both Scara and reader are mistreated by Dottore and Scara trying to protect reader from him knowing that he himself is at his mercy 😭😭😭 pure angst 😭😭

Also I loved that in this fic Scara isn't that cruel, and that the only time he was actually going to kill a human was when he was subjected to Dottore's experiments. And I loved that it was a fem reader fic (they are super hard to find this way) and that the traveler was Lumine (even harder to find!) Loved this fic, I'd be super happy to read more, but no pressure ofc. Do you have other fics? I couldn't find them since you dont have a masterlist.

many things to address here!

1) thank you thank you thank you for your praise! this is my first time writing something other than an essay and im really glad you and a few others like it 🥰🥰

2) i’ll see if i can come up with some extra blurbs, maybe you could send me a link to that DLT thing you mentioned? that would make a good jumping off point and give me an idea of what i should write, it would be cool to go back and add some .5 chapters that make the story more immersive! side note, the reader and scaramouche will ALWAYS have the same dynamic. do with that knowledge what you will.

3) IM SO GLAD YOU APPRECIATED THERE’S ONLY ONE HORSE 🐎 terribly unappreciated when i first posted it

4) i feel like scara knows if he kills every person that slightly inconveniences him he’ll end up with an even worse inconvenience. to me he’s more of a “never send a boy to do a man’s work” type person, if you cant do it just try not to get in his way 🥲

5) i already have the next few chapters planned out, i just have to turn them from brackets and bullets to Full Sentences 🙃 this usually occurs, not on a schedule, but when i am procrastinating my academic responsibilities

6) as i mentioned this is my first fic but i have a couple half-baked ideas, they’re for rubedo/subject 2/fakebedo and kenma from haikyuu

lmk if you have any other questions, comments, concerns i love talking about my creative spawn

[peachdoxie]

Hey, so, I see you tagging a lot of posts as "mistborn" and "stormlight archive" and I'd never heard of either of them before but they seem interesting. What are they about?

Okay, so the first thing you should know is that I experienced a significant amount of unfettered glee at receiving this ask and knowing that you, my friend, have absolutely no idea what can of worms you’ve opened with this ask.

Mistborn and the Stormlight Archive are two book series written by Brandon Sanderson. Mistborn currently consists of six books and several short stories, with at least seven more books planned. Stormlight currently consists of three books and several short stories, with the fourth coming out in November and a total of ten planned. They are both bastions of epic original fantasy, especially Stormlight, whose third book had to be edited down because its original length was too much to physically print on commercial printing presses. These books, in hardback form, are the types of books you use as door stops and murder weapons.

Mistborn is the older of the two series, and is actually in two trilogies known as Era 1 and Era 2. The magic system essentially boils down to eating metal = Mistborn superpowers. In Era 1, we get Vin, street urchin and arguably the most powerful Mistborn on the planet, who ends up assisting Kelsier, #1 Bastard Supreme™, take down an immortal God King who has ruled for 1000 years with an iron fist (almost literally). This has unforeseen consequences. Era 2 is set 300 years later after the fallout of said unforeseen consequences. No longer feudal-era pseudo-France in a world dominated by ash and mist, but instead the hero of a Western transplanted back into a city on the cusp of an Industrial Revolution, dealing with like eighteen Mafia families and secret societies all trying to reap the benefits of said unforeseen consequences from Era 1.

The Stormlight Archive takes place on a planet where magic takes the form of Stormlight, which people then breathe in and get superpowers. There’s a war going on over giant magic crustaceans, which eventually transitions to fighting the embodiment of hatred. Featuring such topics as: philosophizing about leadership and morality; rebellious slaves somehow finding the will to not die; debates on scholarship and the value of the arts; sticks; dealing with the effects of colonial conquest; damn good representation of mental illness and physical disabilities; gay crushes. Meanwhile, there’s a massive hurricane every few days that always follows the same direction across the single continent on the planet. Also, giant anime swords that glow!

These are vastly over simplified descriptions of both series, but I don’t want to spoil what happens because there are so many great plot twists and also summarizing these books would take days.

Now, you may go, “But Peach! Why do these keep getting tagged together if they’re two different series?”

Well, my friend, that’s because Brandon Sanderson is the type of madman who is not satisfied with creating multiple works of epic fantasy. No, he has decided to make them interconnected in the same magical universe (literally, the planets are in the same galaxy) that hint at an overarching plot that’s going on behind the scenes of Mistborn and Stormlight. The magical world that Branderson has created is known as the cosmere, which you have also probably seen me talk about, and it’s up to each individual reader to decide if they just want to focus on what’s going on in the main books OR if they want to jump down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with Hoid, aka the Stan Lee of the cosmere and also the #2 Bastard Supreme™.

The cosmere consists of Mistborn and Stormlight, its two main series, and standalone books Elantris (and several short stories) and Warbreaker (sequel in the works), as well as multiple short stories set on other planets in the cosmere galaxy, AND a graphic novel series called White Sand that Brando Sando wrote but did not illustrate because he’s too busy writing 19,000 words in 13 hours.

 Overall, if you like the following:

Super duper complex magic systems with actual consistent metaphysics

Fantasy that sophisticatedly deals with social issues like racism, classism, sexism, colonialism, ableism, mental illness, and many others

A shit ton of gods in various shapes and forms and theologies

Worldbuilding out the wazoo

Well-researched worldbuilding inspired by multiple non-European cultures

Plots that involve doing historical research in order to find out what the fuck happened in the past that led to the shit you’re dealing with in the present

Scenes that put the “epic” in epic fantasy

Dozens of the most fascinating, complex, unique, dynamic, batshit insane characters ever

Infinite meme material

No sex scenes

then I highly, highly recommend you read the cosmere. There’s no set reading order, but I personally recommend Mistborn Era 1 as a way to get into it and a good feel for Branderson’s writings. The general consensus, though, is that you should read most of the other books in the cosmere before starting Stormlight (especially Stormlight 2 and beyond) in order to get the best out of it. Some characters in the cosmere are able to travel between planets and will make cameo appearances in other books. (That’s right: there are technically aliens in the cosmere but no one ever acknowledges it.) Stormlight 2 is when the worldhopping really starts being relevant, and if you are familiar with the other characters in the cosmere, it will make certain scenes make way more sense than they would on their own.

Also pls read cosmere stuff the fandom on tumblr is fairly small and always hungering for new blood.

[kimageddon]

Star Wars Fics - Part 2

Wow I got a lot of love for that first part. I didn't even have a solid plan for it, it just sort of happened. But as requested, there is indeed a part 2 so here you go!

Tech x f!Reader

Part 1

The Reception

So far so good. The wedding ceremony was done and all you had to do was keep an eye out during the reception. You and the boys… all dolled up and looking for bad guys. Yep… that’s all it was. Just work. Just… work. You were handed a glass of bubbling clear liquid and from the first sip you knew there was alcohol in it. Now… on the job was not for drinking. But even as you tried to pretend, one sip became two. Became three… became half a glass… and then you had a second glass. It was just part of the act of course. No other reason. You took another sip.

“Might want to slow down on those, Feisty.” Echo muttered beside you, making you jump slightly.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You replied as you cleared your throat. “If I didn’t have a sip occasionally people might get suspicious.”

“Occasional sip huh? Is that your fourth glass?” He smirked, scanning the guests carefully. Currently Hunter was by the bar, Crosshair had claimed a particularly comfortable spot of wall to lean on, Wrecker and Omega were walking around the outside perimeter… and Tech… you were painfully aware of the presence of the last member of your crew. He was behind you. You were thankful for that at least, that way you didn’t have to make more awkward eye contact.

“It’s only my second.” You huff in reply. “I’m… not a fan of weddings.” No need to explain everything, in all honesty the boys didn’t know much about you, your past, your choices.

“Could have fooled me.” Echo let out a deep chuckle, leaning a little closer. You slowly turned to look at him, your brow twitching slightly.

“And what do you mean by that?” You ask quietly.

“Oh I don't know… you just seemed a little distracted earlier…” You can feel him smirking without looking at him.

“You’re as bad as Hunter. There is nothing wrong with me, I am not distracted. Let’s just get this mission done and go home. Then I can drink as much as I want without you judging me.” You huff and Echo just laughs.

“If you say so, Feisty.” He pets your shoulder as he turns away. You bristle, you know Echo is looking out for you but… oh what does he know? Gathering as much grace as you can muster, you sweep past the dancefloor and out onto the balcony. Its growing late, and you are itching to head back to Ord Mantell, grab some Mantell Mix with Wrecker and Omega maybe, they’d allowed you to join them the last few times so you hoped they’d let you tag along again. You leant on the railing overlooking a wide garden, the place was stunning of course, but that didn’t mean the danger was gone. It was hard to feel battle ready in a dress like this, the entire back to the waist was transparent mesh, a line of buttons up your spine. A jewelled detail in the centre between your breasts and sweeping purple fabric trailed down to your toes. Your hair was curled and hung over one shoulder, a far cry from the usual updo you kept when you had to hide it under your helm. The sun was setting in the distance, and while you paid it little attention, the man now standing behind you was drinking in the way the golden light reflected off your hair.

“I--” He began but got nowhere before you turned. Your eyes widen suddenly. You’d recognised the voice even before you moved but instinct had taken hold. There was Tech, a few feet from you, looking ever so dashing in his suit and eyes that felt like they looked right through you.

“Oh… is-is there an update?” You stammer pathetically, you hadn’t been expecting to talk to him so soon. He blinked before seeming to snap back to attention.

“Erm… oh, yes.” He nodded and looked back to the comm device in his hand. He’d kept it in his coat this whole time, you guessed and came out to check without anyone noticing. “The signals have been rather steady through the evening, I am not picking up any disturbances along the outer perimeter.” He stepped over, now focused on the screen. Of course, there was no way that he wasn’t totally focused on the mission. As you ought to be as well. He had just been surprised you were out here. Your eyes were drawn to the screen as he pointed out the signal and a fluctuation he had been worried about, though it turned out to be a false alarm. You chuckled lightly and you saw him look up at you out of the corner of your eye.

“You always have everything under control, don’t you?” You murmur. How did he always seem so calm, so unaffected by everything? You tried to be like that, but your emotions slipped out too often.

“Not… everything.” He confessed. You looked up and instantly regretted it. You hadn’t realised how close you’d gotten when looking at the screen and now Tech and his stunning eyes the colour of warm leather were right there. Inches away from your face.

“Wha-what do you mean?” You ask. Your eyes wander his face, he looks flushed, and his lip is trembling. Your concern grows and you stand up fully, stepping in front of him with a slight frown, both hands come up to cup his cheeks. “Tech, are you okay?” You ask, mostly concerned for him, you hadn’t seen him like this before.

“Of-of course-of course I am.” You leaned in closer, your eyes full of concern.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Feisty…” Now he sounded out of breath.

“You know I would be terribly upset if something happened to you.” There was a slight pause as he raised his free hand to yours against his face, a little bashful smile on his lips as he avoided eye contact.

“And I, you.” He replied. Your heart ached. He was so sweet. Your eyes lingered on him, the way he nervously flicked his gaze over you, the way his lip twitched slightly as though trying to suppress a smile. His skin was warm and though he was still flushed, he didn’t seem like he was in any pain or anything. Maybe he’d had a sip of the wine too?

Before you knew what was happening, the gap between the two of you grew smaller, your lashes fluttered against his cheek as your eyes closed, and your lips pressed to his slowly, gently. A kiss full of admiration and affection. His hand gripped yours a little firmer and you felt your stomach tighten. Heat bloomed in the touch and it was like there was some music playing that only you could hear as his mouth moved against yours. You’d heard about fireworks when lovers kissed but you’d never felt it before… until now.

Suddenly a loud cheer from inside the ballroom startled the two of you apart. Apparently the wedding guests were partaking in another toast. Thats right. The wedding. The mission. You were meant to be paying attention. Not out here kissing one of your squadmates. Wait. Oh no. You kissed Tech. You kissed Tech! No no no! This was unprofessional! This was wrong! You weren’t supposed to do this with colleagues, it was dangerous to get involved. Not only that, Tech never asked for this, probably didn’t want this. He stood there with wide eyes, looking as horrified as you felt. All these thoughts slammed through your mind in a second before you tore yourself away.

“I’m sorry…!” You gasped, it was a weak apology. You felt a little dirty, there was no way he would have wanted that, not really. You just surprised him. No no no! This was not how things were supposed to happen!

A quick stop to the refresher to make sure you didn’t look dishevelled or out of place and you were back to work. You buried the awkward encounter and decided to pretend it never happened. This was going to be a long night.

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Just a quick question, dou you guys prefer 'reader' interactions or OC's? I am not used to writing in the second person, and I am more used to chreating a character and the backstory etc. I can easily write it as 'she' and 'her' and give her an appearance etc. Anyway let me know your thoughts on that.

If you want more or want to be tagged in this series or my other works, lmk in comments.

Tag list: @eyecandyeoz @fallenrepublick @ashotofspotchka @sunipostsstuff @shuttlelauncher81 @1fineslytherin @cosmicsierra

[seraphimdivine]

Seraph-22-they/them! Femme aligned nonbinary at times ♡bi/poly Absolutely no minors. Cishets can interact but don't be WEIRD abt my gender / sexuality. Be respectful ^_^. More info under the cut♡

Hi! I'm seraph!! this is just an nsft sideblog. It's alot of reblogs and some original posts. Inbox and dms are usually open! Only for queer/Trans people though tbh. Cishets owe me 20 usd for even looking at this blog. Just because i are am poly doesn't mean i am looking for a relationship or plus one! I have a partner :D Usually tagged under 🐶. Main blog has the word Seraph in it. Most of this blog is tagged/organized,but sometimes I get lazy so sorry about that. US based !!

If youre confused about the emojis or tags at times, just ask!

Dont question me abt my gender, im whatever makes the joke land ♡ (nonbinary ^_^)

Dms only open to queer/trans people but that doesnt mean im gonna sext u fr ♡ and i do not want your dick pics. Don't ask me or try to push me for things :) if you know my main don't spread it ♡ if we happen to be mutuals there and u found it uhmmm sorry♡

At the end of the day this blog is for ME (and the stuff i post for my partner) ^_^

System safe and friendly blog! <-literally a member of a System lol (Traumagenic ! Yhis is not a roleplay blog. ) some other headmate nsft blogs if they want to share: @backseatofmycab

DAILY AFFIRMATION:🕯I AM SUBMISSIVE AND BREEDABLE🕯

♡YES♡

-Size kink

-breeding kink

-monsterfucker

-biting

-somno

-dilfs/milfs/etc

-fem dommes fr💪

-t4t nsft

-dumbification

-Terato / Monster fucking / knotting / WEREWOLVES♡♡♡

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-overstimulation

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-pet names

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-high sex , i guess thatd count as intox but i do not drink so. No

-open to a lot more that I can't think of

《Anything listed here is always safe sane and consensual! Nothing too out of bounds or genuinely Bad / icky》

×NO×

-detrans

-misgendering

-race play

-scat/unhygienic things

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-inc//st,step siblings,etc.

-ddlg [calling someone daddy/mommy is fine tho as titles! Just ask! ]

-age play

-probably more just don't push it or be a freak/neg!

I try to trigger tag things + I do tag Genitalia Ment. If you need anything tagged lmk!

Edit: i usuallt forget to tag genitalia ment now sorrryyy♡

Okay that's all byeee^-^ enjoy ur stay!

Another edit !-

Emoji key!: (not indicative of preferences for now, mostly in order of who mostly uses this blog)

🪽/🐇 - S. (She/They/He)

🐈‍⬛- J.(He/They/hole. /hj) [ @backseatofmycab ]

🔆 - L. (She/Her)

💙- A. (She/They,He sparingly)

🎰- A. (She/They/He)

🌙- S.(He/They)

🌕- M. (He/Him)

🐏- D. (they/them boygirl thing.)

[The other emojis are for others outside of sys. U can ignore those they know who they are ♡. Also, when looking at the tags, sometimes the person reblogging it will go first , and then add extra tags if it reminds them of anyone.

Example: if A.(💙) is making a post that also happens to remind her of J., it could look like

[Post body]

#/💙 #/[maybe a few comment tags] #/🐈‍⬛

Anyways any questions or concerns feel free to ask :)

Like this post or shoot us a dm if you've read it ♡♡ or if you'd like to be mutuals!

[malawimango]

SUBMIT YOUR SIMS FOR MY 100 FOLLOWER SPECIAL: A LOVE ISLAND SIMS SPINOFF!

* love, lust, anger, breakups, and more!

* sims will compete in physical/mental challenges!

* sims will couple up to find love!

* simblr decides the islanders' fate...

Based of the hit British and American TV Show. I will be playing more of twists that happened in the American TV show, but since both are very similar, you will probably hardly tell a difference if you have only seen the british version. If you would like to read more about them, here is a link to their wiki page

RULES AND HOW TO ENTER! I CAN BE FLEXIBLE SO JUST LMK IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS OR CONCERNS!

* Your sim must be 18+ ! please tell me their age specifically, and their birthday.

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* As for CC, I'm maxis-mix. Please only use maxis match hair, I don't want to do any reshade fixing lol.

* The only required outfits I ask for is one formal, one everyday, and one swimwear. Atheltic would be nice too if your sim is an athletic gal/guy!

* Dress your sim in however many outfits you want, with however much CC. go wild give them seven outfits, 400 skin details, idc!

* Tell me a background of your sim. The most important information I need is their age, birthday, career, hometown, where they live, and their hobbies. Overshare your character, tell me their past relationships, what they look for in a partnership, etc!

* Your sim gets 15 skill points coming in. Tell me which skills at what level you want filled with your 15 given points. There may be some exceptions if your sim is like an olympic athlete or something idk.

That's all I can think of! If there's anything else you need to know, my ask box and messages are always open. THE DEADLINE IS AUGUST 18th.

happy simming everyone! ❤️

EDIT: MAKE SURE TO TAG ME SO I SEE YOUR POST! :D

[7hyuns]

desire;

ateez reaction to you crying from how good they’re making you feel. 

warnings; crying (?), swearing i have no self-control, one use of babygirl in san’s part!! 

also: i...was gonna start including jongho after his 19th birthday? i’m just not really sure on it yet so if anyone already is ig you could lmk :) 

a/n; is the title extra? yes. am i supposed to be writing proper fics? also yes and i’m sorry but there’s gonna be a lil bit of a delay on full length fics for another lil while :/ 

seonghwa; 

panicked boy pt.one. he doesn’t realise at first that it’s because it feels good so he’d stop and be so, so flustered and he’d say something like, “what happened?” / “do you need me to stop?” and he’d really just continue to repeat himself until he was sure you’d heard him because his heart is about ready to beat out of his chest. feels so guilty if you don’t immediately respond because he’s so worried about everything straight away. he’s thinking about everything he’s done trying to figure out what he could’ve done to hurt you and he’s so busy doing that he almost misses when you tell him to keep going. when he does he’d say, “no :( you’re crying” because he’s still not getting it. so you’re gonna have to directly tell him that it’s because it feels good. when you’d explained that to him he’d feel so fuckign cool and his ego just skyrockets, but only very subtly. i don’t think he’d be the type to tease you about it unless he was feeling especially mean that day. after the first time, he’d probably still get a little worried over seeing you cry but he wouldn’t freak out unless he could think of something that could’ve hurt you. again, even after the first time i don’t think he’d be the type to tease or anything he’d probably just mentally be like ‘my impact!’ but wouldn’t comment on it or anything. would be extra attentive in aftercare after you’d cried!!

hongjoong; 

the first time it happened would be very different from his general reaction to it lmao. the first time he’d freak out so much the second he noticed you were crying. he’s worried that he’s hurt you, he’s worried that you’ve been crying for a while and he hasn’t noticed, he’s just: worried. stops immediately and starts wiping away any tears and talking really quickly to try and soothe you, and it’d just be stuff like, “it’s okay, it’s okay, i’m sorry.” but when you’re like “what?? why did you stop??” he’d be very confused. asks what you mean and is genuinely so shocked when you tell him that it just felt really good?? the first time i don’t think it’d do very much to his ego because he’d be kinda flustered about it and wouldn’t think about it further than being assured you weren’t in any pain. but oh boy after the first time, he’s such a little shit. you cry and he’s like “oh? do you need me to stop? because i can stop, i don’t mind.” because he wants to hear you beg, but as soon as you do his ass would just say, “why are you so desperate? are you in a rush for something?” and you can just feel his ego inflating but there’s nothing you can do because it’s not an unjustified confidence. he’d probably develop a kink for it after a while you know how it is with hongjoong he’s into some kinda weird stuff.

yunho; 

a sweet boy!! okay, maybe he might not notice immediately, which would only make him worry more when he finally did. i think, to be honest, he might actually be one of the more chilled out members about it. his biggest worry is probably to do with his size lmao, he’d just be concerned that maybe he’d been too rough and significantly hurt you. (lowkey if you’ve got a pain kink i think he’d be a little less concerned because he’d be thinking ‘hm i’ve done nothing different this time’) but he’d still stop or at the very least slow down and just give you a quick once over to see if there was anything noticeably wrong. if he couldn’t find anything he’d probably just start to wipe the tears away because you’ve most likely already prompted him to move faster again and so he knows you’re not actually in pain. if by some chance you hadn’t said anything, he’d ask, “good tears? or does something hurt?” because he wants to be completely sure so he doesn’t have to be worried about you being in pain. once you’d confirmed it was good tears and you were fine, i think he’d just be fine to continue as normal. i’ve said it before but i think yunho could get pretty rough sometimes so if you cried then, he’d be more concerned but he’d really just fall into the habit of every time he noticed you looked teary eyed or anything he’d just directly ask if you were hurt or just feeling good. while i don’t think he’s completely against it because, you know, ego boost, i think he’d still wipe them away when you did cry because he doesn’t like to see you crying for any reason!!

yeosang; 

i mean, he’d still be concerned the first time it happened, but i also think that yeosang’s quite observant so he wouldn’t really think it could be anything bad. if you’d have been trying out a new kink or something and you cried, then yes, he’d immediately think that something was hurting you, but even then i think he’d try and keep himself composed so if you are hurt you’re not panicked by his reaction. if he thought something was wrong, he’s just gonna stop for a minute and ask, “you all good?” and he won’t start again until you verbally answer him like, “yes, yeosang, everything is: very good.” like he doesn’t find doing that difficult at all it’s just a question to him. if he didn’t think anything was wrong, he’d probably just be assured already that it wasn’t anything he’s done and that you’re just feeling good and he doesn’t wanna ruin that moment for you lol. idk if i’ve said it before but yeosang would sometimes just wanna have very ~chilled~ lazy sex so if you cried then he definitely wouldn’t comment on it because he really just wants you both to just. enjoy the moment in a way? but if it was when you were being rougher with one another, he might comment on it but only a lil bit and wouldn’t tease you afterwards. that or he’d say something like, “fuck, you’re so beautiful,” when you did cry because his brain is just. going a thousand miles an hour and he doesn’t know how else to express that when he sees you his brain’s just like ‘oh wow a perfect human being’

san; 

the worst to deal with. teases you during and after!! i feel like he’d already be pretty assured that it wasn’t because of anything bad? he’s just confident that you’d tell him if something was wrong so he’s not too concerned. from the first time it happens his ego is just lifted so high you can’t even tell if he’s being serious with some of the stuff he’s saying anymore. even if it does concern him at one point, he’d probably just say something subtle about it like, “how does that feel, babygirl?” so you can’t directly tell that he’s checking to see if you’re okay because he says stuff like that all the time. but he’s so teasing and his ego is so inflated over it, he just thinks he’s the hottest shit because oh wow he made you cry just from how good he can make you feel. keeps repeating shit like, “who’s making you feel this good?” / “only i can make you feel this good,” like ok san go off i guess. probably turns it into a personal goal for himself to see if there’s something specific that makes it happen, how quickly he can get you to react like that, etc. he’s honestly much more invested in it than he seems, because he seems kinda nonchalant about it when you remove the sheer amount of mockery. if you asked him what he thought about it he’d be just like “yeah i think it’s really hot obviously” but other than that he doesn’t really mention it. but he’d still tease you about it sometimes, like, you’d be playfully arguing with him and he’d just go, “yeah but who else can make you feel good enough to literally cry? it’s just me :) no one else :)”

mingi; 

panicked boy part. two. the first time it happened he’d be so, so worried and apologetic because he’s already completely convinced that he must’ve hurt you. probably doesn’t fully believe you at first when you tell him that you were absolutely fine and would think you were just saying that to make sure he didn’t feel bad. but once you’d reassured him a couple times and really assured him of the fact that he’d just made you feel really good, he’d be all, “did it really feel that good? like it actually did?” and you’d say yeah obviously, and then he’d go quiet for a minute before he just. “how good was i making you feel, then, hm?” and, you’re very confused because he’s just doing a complete switch on his response. i think if it happened semi-regularly or regularly it’d take him a couple more times to get used to it, just because he’s trying to figure out whether or not he feels guilty seeing you cry because of him for whatever reason. but once he decides, even if he’d probably feel guilty over figuring this out lmao, that he ~lowkey~ likes it, he just, he goes all out really. either he’ll tease you for it when you cry or he’ll praise you, or if he’s feeling festive he’ll mix both his responses together so now you’re getting mocked and complimented all at once. you two would have safeword anyway so if you didn’t say that he wouldn’t get concerned at all because he knows it’s just because he’s Very Good at what he’s doing.

wooyoung; 

the second worst of them all. might freak out a little bit the first time it happens because he just sees you crying and his brain goes ‘!?’ so he stops straight away and asks so many questions at once you can’t actually answer any of them. his main question would just be different variations of, “does something hurt?” / “did i hurt you?” and you can see that he’s very evidently upset and flustered and you’re like, well, i can’t laugh at him because he’s seriously worried :/. but also, you don’t really wanna tell him straight-up that it felt good because you know you’ll be able to visibly see his ego skyrocket so you’re mumbling a lil, “no it just felt kinda good” and wooyoung’s like “omg what did you say? have i hurt you so much that you can’t even speak omg :(( i’m so sorry” so you have to say it properly so he can hear you. and as soon as he knows, what do u know, his ego? zoomin. he’s got the typical Wooyoung Look on his face because he’s starting to comprehend his impact! after the first time tbh he really wants to make it happen as often as possible because now he knows that that’s something you do when you feel especially good. teases you about it but more so afterwards? when wooyoung’s in the moment, unless it’s giggly sex which i just don’t think you’d cry in lmao, he wants to be in the moment properly lol. but afterwards he’d be like “:] i made you cry Again :]”

[bettiesbullshit]

let’s talk about the recent events leading to me wanting to end my shit, shall we?

what i’m about to write is not me talking shit on either person involved. i love them both dearly and i hope they’re okay and doing well. this is just my take on what happened over the last weekend and how it affected me emotionally and how it affected me as far as my mental illness is concerned.

i could also use some advice from my tumblr pals. either drop it below in the comments or send me an anon (please no angry ones saying i’m a shitty person because i did the best i could in both situations). anyway, hit read more.

SO i broke up with my girlfriend (we’ll call her cici?) on Friday bc she wasn’t on the same level as me (the way i phrased it, we’re on two different paths in life) and wasn’t attempting to better herself. obviously, i was still hurt over this less than two days later as, even though i broke up with her, it was still the end of an almost 2 year friendship and a few month long relationship (longest one i’ve had since i was fourteen lol). 

( the rest of Friday, Saturday, and most of Sunday aren’t really important to the story but they were good days. i went to dinner with my mom, her bf, and her bf’s roommate and the roommate bought me dinner--he rejected me the other day tho lol--and then saturday we had a cookout and sunday was just a good day in general BUT ANYWAY, back to the story that no one is going to read )

on the same day i broke up with cici, i messaged my ex boyfriend bc... tbh, i missed him. a lot. we’ll call him peter ig? he drove from about seven hours away to come see me (two days after i broke up with an in person relationship w cici, who i had gotten very close to and loved very much) and i was expected to get over cici and begin a relationship with him. when it was obvious i couldn’t, he left. on his way home, he blocked me on almost everything (and what he didn’t block me, i blocked him on, especially after the exchange between him and my best friend where he told her he wouldn’t ever talk to me again, which is fine btw).

i was extremely suicidal and angry in the three-four hours following this. i called cici out of desperation and she rejected me, claiming i was being suicidal to force her to get  back together with me (despite me saying multiple times that i thought that was disgusting but i couldn’t tell her i was suicidal because of peter). i decided that i was going to drive to a town near mine where one of my old friends lived and pick up some weed. on my way there... i had a revelation (i’m manic, leave me alone). I’M OKAY. like, yeah, i had a mental breakdown and every time i would pass a telephone pole i would have the intense urge to wreck my car into it BUT 

i realized i did the right thing for the cici relationship. i’m going to miss that relationship as we got along really well romantically and physically (not talking about sex, she just knew how to  hold me and treat me etc). but she was not right for me. i’m in college and working full time, i cannot be with someone who is not at least doing one of those things. i also did not have the gas money to make our relationship work with my limited hours. i loved her and i still do. i think had it been better timing, things between us could have gone on for a lot longer.

i did mess up with the peter situation but i did make it clear that i still had feelings for cici. my exact words were “i love her”. it was unfair for him to expect me to get over those feelings so quickly but it was also unfair for me to put him in the middle of that when i was so clearly still invested in her and my relationship with her. however, this experience did give me closure on my relationship with him. i realized that, even though we get along extremely well, we are not a match physically or romantically. the relationship felt small and childish compared to the intensity i had with cici. i still love peter and, if for some reason he stalks my tumblr: i’m really sorry. i did not mean to hurt you again. but i hope reading this gave you some perspective. 

i have had no desire to contact either of them since monday. i have felt a lot better after speaking with my therapist yesterday. she made me set up an emergency appointment with my psych and we played around with my meds to help with the mania. i’m not sure when the mania started but i know the lack of sleep (while peter drove here) and the burst of emotion and suicidal ideation caused to escalate if not cause it in general. 

if anyone actually read this long ass post, lmk what you think of if you have any questions regarding the situation? idk, get involved, i need someone to talk to.

[bthump]

madchen replied to your post “Let's say Griffith was kinda aware of his feelings. What kind of...”

omg the razing falconia one... these are all so good especially the fact that griffith would have cliche dubcon fantasies about enemy warlord guts fucking him. like he wants it but he wants guts to take it from him so he doesn’t have to make that choice, and irl guts would never do anything like that to griffith which is why it’s so good. and griffith would try so hard to not bring emotions into it but he’s def finished once while accidentally imagining guts telling him “i love you”- and it fucked him up good afterwards. doooo you have any thoughts on like flip side guts fantasies involving griffith? like canon, post eclipse, au where they get together, any spin really? i think guts is way more like, sweet and vanilla in his imagination than griffith (tho griffith is vanilla too just more active imagination) + idol more basic? but man…he’s just so canonically focused on griffs physical beauty and says some romantic ass shit it’s gotta be saccharine and ridiculous sometimes griffith def fantasizes about like, calling guts to his tent and complimenting him on being an Excellent Soldier or whatever and “rewards” him via a blowjob. or like corny gay porn scenario where griffith makes that “wow what a big sword i wouldn’t be able to handle it” comment he makes in the ovas that leads to like griffith jerking him off of w/e

God like I wish I had the ability to start and then finish a fic because I feel like Guts and Griffith’s fantasies about each other would make a great series of character studies lmao. Like Griffith coming when he accidentally thinks about Guts telling him he loves him and then being out of sorts all day, that’s solid stuff right there.

Also ngl that “it’s an amazing sword, I could never wield it” line (which is also in the manga actually, tho the ova adds a suggestive sword movement so credit where it’s due) is such a perfect cliche porn intro, it would be tragic if it never featured in either of their fantasies.

As for Guts’ fantasies... during the Golden Age honestly I don’t think his fantasies would’ve ever got further than imagining leaning in and brushing Griffith’s hair back during the staircase Zodd conversation, or something like that. Coming back from his dream journey, meeting Griffith again as his equal, embracing him in a manly fashion, aaaaaand then his mind trails off and he gets moody and scowly for no apparent reason. It’s really hard for me to imagine him as self aware about wanting to fuck Griffith back then.

Tho maybe in the very early days he’d think about it, yk not long after he asked Griffith if he was gay, offered sex as stakes for the duel, and got all “commander Griffith, are you trying to seduce me” before the naked waterfight. But I don’t think he’d make the connection between wondering about it and wanting it at that point. And I feel like once he started considering Griffith his friend those thoughts would mostly fade. And if the question of sex with Griffith popped into his head again later on it would be with a bit of exasperation and bemusement, rather than any longing (that he’s aware of). So less a fantasy and more of an occasionally recurring stray thought that he doesn’t want to consider too closely.

He would’ve started thinking about sex as a real option, at least one he could’ve/should’ve pursued in the past, about 20 minutes after realizing he shouldn’t’ve left at the end of chapter 71, but then the Eclipse happened and he had other things to think about lol.

But I think Guts definitely, like honestly very nearly canonically as far as I’m concerned, started fantasizing about him properly after NGriff’s resurrection.

Like you’re gonna look at this page and tell me Guts did not jerk it while picturing this that very night?

Please. Let’s be reasonable here.

Throw in the Beast of Darkness’ taunts about Guts dreaming about Griffith and longing for him and Guts’ urge to get “closer and closer to Griffith” through a sexual act, and I consider this reading a pretty easy sell lol.

Anyway at this point Guts’ fantasies about Griffith would be a wildly confusing and painful mashup of regret and longing for the past and just replaying moments with Griffith in his head imagining actually going for it and kissing Griffith and having sex with him and never ruining anyone’s life, and like dark and violent fantasies about NeoGriffith. Like lbr here we already saw eroguro shit with Casca thanks to the Beast of Darkness, that style of dark is a shoe-in.

To get more detailed wrt the former, at this point I feel like Guts is aware that Griffith loved him. It’s not something he often wants to think about because it makes him sad and confused, but he knows it. A dude doesn’t destroy his own life and spend a year in a torture chamber after you leave him just because you’re his bff. He knows that there’s a good chance if he kissed Griffith back then, Griffith would’ve wanted it and everything else Guts could give him.

Guts would imagine kissing him during a night of like victory celebrations or w/e and having tender emotional sex in one of their dark tents. He’d imagine kissing him and sucking him off against a tree after the ‘do you think i’m cruel’ conversation to demonstrate exactly how he sees Griffith. He’d imagine bending Griffith over the desk in his study, lying together with him as Griffith reads one of his books, bathing together and getting playful in the water, fighting back to back and fucking after emerging victorious, Griffith saving his life and then kissing him passionately in a thank-god-you’re-alive way. Griffith lying on top of him, leaning down to kiss him with his hair falling around Guts’ head like a curtain. Griffith telling him about Gennon and telling Guts how good and unlike him or any other monster he is.

Not realistic but yk emotionally true, maybe strolling right up the Promrose Hall steps and kissing Griffith in front of Charlotte to directly and smugly challenge his speech, leaving him dazed and needy and staring at him like he’s the only thing in the world. Guts would imagine that focused gaze a lot in hindsight, after missing its significance at the time.

Ooh and Guts would have a few fantasies of Griffith watching him and jerking off to him. Like he’d fantasize about Griffith fantasizing about him. “I found someone I really wanted to have look at me,” come on. He wants to be wanted so bad.

Oh and speaking of that, a lot of his dark present-day fantasies would involve forcing NGriff to look at him and acknowledge him. And like, that could easily veer into sad angst too, imagining seeing glimpses of his Griffith through NGriff’s mask while he’s fucking him and/or stabbing a sword through him or whatever else, that kind of thing.

Liiiiike Guts is a giant mess at this point of the story, it’s perfect for cramming in all this wildly emotional stuff lol. He’s having a bad time psychologically and this mix of tenderness and regret and painful emotional truths and neediness and loneliness and rage and violence and hatred and love, man, it could all manifest through this longing for Griffith.

Oh and finally in like, say an AU where they got together during the Golden Age and lived happily ever after, a lot of the human Griffith fantasies would still apply like yk Guts getting off to Griffith getting off to him, life-saving, fighting together, etc.

But I think Guts in that situation would also have some possessive fantasies as well, especially if he’s feeling a little neglected while Griffith pursues his dream. Leaving mild marks and bruises so Griffith thinks about him throughout the day, fantasizing about teasing him so he’s uncomfortably turned on before a meeting with nobles or something, maybe more out there, unrealistic fantasies like having the ability to touch him from a distance or being invisible and (consensually imo) caressing him while he’s socializing at a ball until Griffith’s poker face breaks (but no humilliation kink, that wouldn’t be Guts’ style, the fantasy would just end at that point imo), yk that kind of thing.

Also if he hasn’t heard the Promrose Hall speech, after a while of having regular sex with Griffith I think he’d probably be somewhat into the idea of v mild d/s with Griffith giving orders. More praise kink than anything, like Griffith telling him exactly how he wants to be fucked or blown in a moderately commanding way, and Guts doing it and Griffith being very vocal in his appreciation, telling him how good he is. I feel like I just described a sex scenario more than a fantasy, but yk Guts could imagine it for a while before doing it, and I feel like Griffith would actually not be into that so it might stay a fantasy.

And he’d fantasize about Griffith fucking him for a while before he got the nerve to ask him to.

Ok that’s all I got for now, ty for asking and giving me the opportunity to write another giant post about griffguts sexual fantasies lol. lmk if you have any more thoughts on this!