#lmfao this is absolutely hilarious to me
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reading the road not taken for the first time in like four or five years and jesus h christ how has that poem been interpreted so badly in popular culture
#lmfao#i know why it's because people took the last two lines and plastered them out of context everywhere#but it's not a poem about making the harder choice!!!#it's about turning points in life#those two lines is particular are about how we justify our choices to ourselves in retrospect!!!#the road taken was NOT the one less travelled by. i mean that's a very significant event in the poem#like he specifies it Twice that they're both equally good choices#i mean if the poem was about taking the road less traveled by why tf would it be called the road NOT taken#it's about wondering if you'll regret doing something!#it's about the things we tell ourselves when we have done that thing so as to not regret having made those choices!!!!#lmfao this is absolutely hilarious to me#i mean it's a fairly straightforward poem too!
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I've been having a delightful time stumbling over my emojis being used in random servers, so here's more
#It's seriously so funny to see an emote of mine in random conversation from a private server#emojis#art#rain world#Some people went even farther and apparently started using other art of mine as emotes#Which is fine but absolutely buck wild to stumble over#Since some of the art they chose is literally wip versions of my current pfp#??? Sure I guess 😂#rw survivor#rw monk#rw saint#spearmaster#Most of these were requests. The rest were just the emojis I use the most turned into scugs lol#You get to decide which was which lmfaoooo#Also here's some lore: a while back I made 'hunterwheeze'#and the bit was everyone liked it so much they wanted it in the server#So I said bet and threw a bunch of emotes to the staff to hear their thoughts#And way more than I thought got added!#Except for hunterwheeze 🤣🤣🤣#Instead they chose a super edited screenshot of some animation frame I made a few months ago I added last minute for giggles#Which I was DELIGHTED by. It's perfect#Also the only instance of the emote since it's technically not on this blog 😉 not transparent anyway#Oh and here's my favorite 'wild' emotes I've found:#1) that person that dmed me to reveal there was an animated emote for every variation of rivulets face I made that one time#(I was not allowed to join the server)#2) discovering an emote has been in use for months in a server swathed in drama and in the throes of being orchestized from the community#3) that one nightcat-saint emote appearing on a random server announcement (it's so niche I was astounded anyone used it lmfao)#Most sightings are totally benign but these were just hilarious
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Ooooooo you read TGED!!!!!! 😍🙌😍What are your thoughts on LloJavi 👀👀
These two will never get married, but they’re absolutely divorced
#dreamer ask#anon ask#webtoon#the greatest estate developer#tged#lloyd frontera#javier asrahan#llojavi is a hilarious ship to me#because while lloyd and javier are ride or die for each other#they're both also absolute pieces of shit that like to make the other suffer#lmfao
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Last night I cried, and I mean UGLY cried at a foul hour because I love Albert Wesker and I hate it. (/Lh)
Like first off, the man's name is Albert??? Need I say more? But then, his name is kinda gothic when you say his full name. I don't know if that's just me. But just simply referring to him as Albert is goofy as fuck considering he's supposed to be a villain in RE. Not only that, he's got paper thin lips. How's he gonna get a kiss kiss??☝️🤨/ref
But it wasn't only that, mind you, it's also because this absolute FUCK, this evil David Bowie and Johnny bravo looking mother fucker, has consumed my life and every waking thought that sometimes it genuinely hurts and that's what I hate about being autistic. It's just how much I want to consume of something once it becomes a special interest and/or hyperfixation. On top of that, Wesker is a special case for me because I found out I technically trauma bonded to him as a comfort character. For the past year and a half now, I got back into RE because of the RE4R and began hyperfixating on said game then it spiraled into hyperfixating about the Wesker's storyline, with project W and so on. I already have a tendency to go back to RE periodically every like two or so years but this has low-key been probably the longest I've consistently fixated on RE without a single break in-between. My dad and I bonded over resident evil, he's one of the people who got me into RE, albeit he watched the movies and I got into the game's. Which means RE means a whole lot to me and since he passed my fixation on it only heightened as a source of comfort. I also found out when you have a comfort character during a horrible period in your life, you very well can trauma bond with said character. So that means out of all characters, I have trauma bonded to Albert Wesker and I am two seconds away from tweaking. 🤩
On top of that, every time @rainbowroadonsteroids sends me something remotely Wesker related I start punching my wall and they bully me for it smh./Lh+nm
Shout out to my favorite human nightlight, Albert Wesker. ☝️🗿
#comet rambles#putting in queue to deploy later#have some misc wesker images because hes an absolute enigma of a man#i wanna put him in a test tube or some kind of containment and study him#hes so strange 🥰#albert wesker#albert wesker dead by daylight#wesker#resident evil#resident evil 5#resident evil wesker#resident evil albert wesker#project w#im scared of tall people what if Albert leans down and licks my head 😔/ref+j#Calling him by Albert is diabolical but also insanely hilarious to me#like his name is so gothic to me but also very dorky/lh+nm#i love bullying my comfort characters btw if you're new here its just my cuteness aggression smh#i also have to post some psychoanalysis on this guy because he makes me go insane ffs#I also have a wesker collection and it's ever growing#like I have a coffin it's bag and I've ordered several pins for it for example. 😟#ita bag not its bag the fuck i aint fixing that shit#edit: found some typos and.fixed them in post lmfao#was also crying because i want a wesker figure so bad but they're so fucking expensive on ebay etc :“)#rebhfun
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hi im back from my eternal slumber to post again. i did a magma where only me and keej drew hazbin while sky drew monkie kid. feelihng great (thumbs up emoji)
#most of my energy was spent on the first drawing and then i downgraded into shit posts.#project sekai vox was a joke me and keej made about if you used an ipad for a cosplay so then i just made this because im hilarious.#theyre really fun to draw LMFAO i think its the excuse to make absolute triangle bodies but you know#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel shitpost#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin#hazbin art#hazbin fanart#hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar#vox#vox the tv demon#hazbin vox#hazbin lucifer#magma art#magma doodles#digital art#also ugdgniug i forgot to put a watermark on it so i poorly did it in mspaint LMFAO
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VALORANT - GEKKO: COLOR PREFERENCE
[Click for better quality]
#valorant#valorant gekko#valorant reyna#valorant art#valorant fanart#lmfao i gave up on the background#well would you look at that#a totally not leaked 100% absolutely mysterious character that has not been leaked yet#by any kind of riot employee#no sir :)#also can we talk about the sibling dynamic between these two because it’s hilarious and wholesome to me#i love gekko already man#i’m so excited for his debut skjdhd#the quality’s ass and i am so sorry skjdhd#this was finished until almost two am sjjdhfjfn#i need to go to bed#procreate
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I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.
#-pops on once in a blue moon to update and dip-#like what it's been. ten years since I've basically said 'hey life is crazy but I really wanna try to be active again!!' lmfao#somehow life keeps getting crazier in good and absolutely abysmal ways#have been sleeping on my floor for the past week due to Fun Health Issues which will probably be a thing for the next month+#and I would b*tch about that but today is the first day in the past week that I have not been miserable so#I'm on a 'I do not feel like sh*t! :DDDD' high lmao#I'm good!! life is just funny and I really need to do standup tbh#when I suffer apparently I am hilarious so silver linings 💕#chaotically toggles between emoticons and emojis bc f*ck the police no one can stop me#this is me a week *not* taking my prescribed amphetamines ahahaha#on them I am actually relaxed and chill which is funny#off them I'm either a sloth or nighttime kitty zooms basically#my body may b falling apart but you cannot stop my chaotic little mind apparently#ANYWAY broken record babey but I do... want to be more active.... if it happens I'll eat my hat but.#can I just say how elated I am that MORE SNOW#Winter Riders was my first SS game so. snow in game is v special to me and I literally dreamed about this and they MAGICALLY DELIVERED#I have a million critiques but clearly I still love the game and I am very happy with how they handled this lmao#anyway I hope everyone is healthier and a little more mentally stable than I <3#I love this stupid game a lot it is still my comfort... n0n-object. sldkfj.#also everyone must know I am f*cking OBSESSED with the unicorn oh my god#still a ponygirl at heart ig 😒 owell#also ye Dragonheart got an update!! heeeee#Dragonheart#Illusion#Brilliant Vision#Myth#Chocolate Dream#mostly sticking to two part names but ngl. for certain special horses I'm enjoying the single name options#also the halter thing is to sorta discourage me from impulse buying horses lmfao#I am 99% positive it will have 0 effect lmaooooo but everyone looks fancy now
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ask game bc why not
Tagged by @omarandjohnny xoxox
Current time: 1:51 pm
Current activity: taking an extended lunch at work bc literally everyone is out on vacation except me. i'm not mad abt it, i like the quiet
Currently thinking about: my travel plans in the next coming months but also jeff satur's unchained dum dum video rotating on a spit constantly in the back of my mind
Current favorite song: it's a tie between psychedelic switch by carly rae and damage gets done by hozier and brandi carlisle. but also i need only you by love beans bc i'm constantly listening to my bl playlists on my commute.
Currently reading: Sex Museums by Jennifer Tyburczy and, i can't believe i'm actually saying this, but i'm almost done with a court of mist and fury and i'm surprising myself by liking it (this was a difficult realization to come to). Also this article is open in my browser currently called 'The Erotic Nostalgia of Lesbian Pulp Fiction'
Currently watching: like so much. just so much. the ones i'm most excited for are wwdits, laws of attraction, only friends, and my personal weatherman. and waiting for ofmd s2!!!
Current favorite character: charn from laws of attraction. i'm just really treasuring having filmjam back on my screen tbh.
Current WIP: ...grad school applications, tbh, even though i am actively rolling my eyes at myself for doing this. *cue jack from LOST screaming WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!*
not going to tag anybody but feel free to take if you are bored and want to brain dump a bit, like me!
#you know what i miss?#myspace surveys lmfao i took so many of those#i wish there was an archive of those it must be absolutely hilarious to read baby me's answers
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it's not even wrong lol my daily affirmations are it is what it is and fuck it we ball.
tagging @astriaels and @probably-not-a-cannibal with no pressure to join if you don't feel like it!
Let's all be in a TV show!!!
> Do this quiz
> do this picrew (Based on urself + quiz answers)
> tag ppl
> profit.
Tags (/nf ofc):
@mxlilly @circus-of-horror @yourleastfavoriteguyinthechair @microsoupmouse @the-firefly-jar-system @punkrockinchair @theplushiesystem @coded-pup @florasolarsystem + ANYONE else who wants to join
#tag game#cute picrew!#absolutely no options for black/ethnic hair tho lmfao#didn't really find options that fit the rest of my features either#common problem to run into with picrews though unfortunately#black asians stay fighting in the trenches for our fucking lives on picrew#“my trauma made me funny” why yes. yes it did#i'm hilarious thank you
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ruth talking abt her boys :(( my heart
#ruth buscombe#“trained by a really great strategest etc etc”#LMFAO girl ily#also them talking abt how important the tow has been here (zhou's lap)#but ruth said like 2 weeks ago how much she hated organizing the tow. absolutely hilarious 2 me.#dia yaps
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You know what that last post just made me realize? I fucking hate Sundays
#especially now. waking up to a whole day of free time and I’m broke and alone. yippee!#also no w**d. which is horrible.#:/ i want my medicine at least damn lol.#I’m probably just gonna go get ahead of some school work since that’s all my life consists of now is school and a job I can’t fucking stand#which I actually suspect is damaging my health.#since I clock in and work 7+ hours straight w no fucking breaks on this manual labor job#I take my coffee and a breakfast bar for work in the mornings and half the time I don’t even get time to finish eating or drinking my#fucking breakfast until after my shit is over 8 hours later#I want to cry. I’m sorry I know how it sounds. I just fucking hate this life I’m living sm now and a huge part of my can’t wait for it to#be absolutely over in any way. whether it be permanently or miraculous… I kinda don’t care at this point tbh#and one other thing it’s absolutely fucking hilarious to me and by that I mean it makes my blood fucking boil#hearing privileged assholes say just go to therapy hurr durr! jus go to da doctor!#motherfucking I am the working class I do no have health insurance.#not only that but I can’t afford it! lmfao like this is the way the system was set up#for people like me to work and work and work themselves to death but no one fucking gets this bc this country & older people are braindead#and lick the corpo boot clean and say the party line just work harder just go buy therapy forehead.#thanks! I’d actually love to. I’ve actually been wanting a therapist for years now.#people love to talk over me when I try to explain my material reality. it’s just a nightmare trying to get help in a system that so clearly#just wants to suck you dry to the bone for profit use up all your labor and destroy your body and leave YOU w nothing to show for it#but of course I’m just another crazy commie kid even tho I’m 27.#but no please continue everybody to shame me for not having access to therapy.#and isn’t it funny how the onus is just always on me. Like I’m so sorry that you all have to put up w my bad behavior lmao#as if I fucking knifed someone or something. as if I don’t try to apologize when I mess up. but no one EVER ever ever ever ever gives me#any fucking credit for that. for trying my best to fix mistakes I made. whatever.#I’m just complaining what else do I even have left
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Got my wisdom teeth out and now every time I laugh or smile the anxious part of my brain is like “girl don’t rip your fuckin stitches out laughing at this!!”
#the thought always makes me laugh harder though bc it makes the situation more hilarious to me#hurts like shit. also unfortunately my brother decided (yes I’ve decided that it was a conscious choice) to get me sick the DAY of my-#surgery for it so I’ve literally had a cold for the last like 4 days of recovery?? like I’m 100% convinced I’ve probably fucked it up-#the instructions say not to drink out of a straw or spit anything out meanwhile Ive been sneezing and absolutely hacking up a lung lmfao#idk maybe its just the paranoia talking but I have a feeling this is the opposite of what they wanted me to do for post op 💀#me talking#wow lots of text posts today wtf is happening
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OKAY I GET IT, XISUMA IS A FURRY LMFAO-
WHY DOES HERMITCRAFT JUST HAVE A FURRY CLUB??? AND WHY DID XISUMA OF ALL PEOPLE START IT??
WHY DO THEY HAVE HORNS OF THEMSELVES HOWLING-
????
#its so funny to me how this post just turned into people showing me evidence of how much of a furry X is#I used to only watch Grians pov (and occasionally doc/etho) since season 7#And only started watching others during season 10#So finding out about Xisumas various furrsonas is absolutely hilarious#hermitcraft#Xisuma#xisumavoid#hermitblr#Sorry for the late reply I've had this sitting in my drafts and completely forgot to post it LMFAO
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VROOM (harry lewis x reader)
summary : in which y/n and harry get invited to go to the silverstone formula one grand prix (2023)
face claim : no one exact
notes : im an absolute noob at writing fics so please excuse the quality lmao. im petrified of posting on here but ive been thinking about starting a blog for over a year. im open to feedback, opinions and any sort of questions/advice is welcome! i happen to waffle a lot so just skip those parts if uninterested. this is my first post so enjoy 😝 also pls request because i have the creativity of a koala so id appreciate some ideas :D
pairings : harry lewis x reader , lando norris x platonic!reader
"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?! Are you actually serious?" You asked your boyfriend in genuine shock, followed by a laugh from the man dressed in head to toe in Ferrari merch. The red and yellow colors clashed hilariously with the sleek, orange McLaren paddock pass hanging around his neck.
"What? I thought I'd support the winning team." He shrugged, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. You and Harry got invited by the Mclaren F1 team to watch the Silverstone Grand Prix from the paddock. As a Formula 1 fan youself, you were excited to see the cars upclose. To watch the mechanics to the pitstops, engineers do their things (idk what they do lmao) and to watch Max Verstappen overlap the whole grid like seven times. Even since you were a little kid you were amazed by those cars driving freakishly quickly. Now, several years later you get to experience it right infront of your eyes.
"Look, there's Lando!" Harry pointed out, spotting your friend talking to a group of mechanics. You approached Lando, who broke into a wide grin as he saw you. "Hey! There are my favorite YouTubers!"
You beamed. "Lando! It's so good to see you. How's it going?"
"It's been wild but amazing," Lando replied, glancing at Harry. "And I see you've managed to get Harry in the right gear this time."
Harry laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I had a little help with that."
Lando gave you two a playful nudge. "So, who are you rooting for today? Besides me, of course."
You laughed. "Well, McLaren, obviously. But I'm also excited to see how the Brits perform. It's going to be an interesting race."
"That's the spirit," Lando said, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Alright, I better get back to my team, but I'll see you guys later? Enjoy the race!"
You and Harry found a spot in the back of Landos garage, it had a view on the screens but also the pit-stop. The whole race went by fast. The moment the lights went out Lando tried his hardest with a deserved P2 at his home race.
Liked by mclaren, f1 & 1,002,485 others.
yourusename mom, i got invited to the silverstone grand prix.. still lowkey in disbelief like wtf.. me?? anyways, tysm mclaren 🩷 enjoy my lovely film camera dump raaaah.
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user harry looking fine as always😍
user y/n and lando finest friends
wroetoshaw whos the first fella hes fit
- yourusername he has a girlfriend..
user i can imagine y/n just walking around taking pictures of everything and everyone 😭😭😭
user i almost melted when they came on the screen
- user me too 😭 forgot i was watching f1 for a second
wroetoshaw i still think i shouldve worn my ferrari outfit #hater
- yourusername youd be sticking out like a sore thumb youre lucky i stopped you #loser #youalmostworepajamapants
user y/n looked so good there 😍
user i LIVE for y/n and landos friendship
faithlouisak i cant believe you chose him over me..
- yourusername im sorry bae.. next time im taking u
faithlouisak finest woman out there
calfreezy wtf fake friends.. theburntchip are you seeing what im seeing ???
- theburntchip bunch of fakies😔
holy what a yap fest lmfao please someone REQUEST something 😭 cause this is too plain.. !
#formula 1#mclaren#lando norris#harry lewis#w2s#w2s x reader#harry lewis x reader#wroetoshaw x reader#sidemen#harry wroetoshaw#wroetovic#f1#social media#smau#social media au#yapping#certified yapper#professional yapper#yapyapyap#yapfest#waffling#silverstone 2023#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 smau#max verstappen#red bull racing#vikkstar123#behzinga
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Yo I got this idea from your pickle fic you did a couple months ago.
Monster trio,law and kidd super gluing a pickle jar and ask their s/o to open it and to their surprise their s/o opens it without any problems
I love your crack fics so much
Please and ty
a/n - I’m so glad you like my humor because sometimes I feel like I’m so unfunny 😂💜 oml kidd would break the jar (also I can’t fit all of the characters so I had to omit Sanji 😭😭)
Warnings ⚠️ - I bully Kidd, crack, g/n reader
- Bro thought that maybe he could troll you back since he couldn’t open the pickle jar a couple days ago (he’s still depressed, so no one talks about it) y’all just pretend it never happened
- zoro: hah! Remember that time when you couldn’t open the-
- everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
- luffy: huh?
- poor zoro 💀 he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to talk about it since they left him at the previous island
- He was all tightening the pickle jar with the glue, giggling and kicking his feet just imagining you not being able to open it like him, so you’d be embarrassed like him. (He’s evil, beware)
- he skipped over to you and handed you a pickle jar, “Hey y/n, can you open it for me while I go grab something to eat?”
- you nodded, grabbing the pickle jar and opening it with ease. Huh, that’s weird, why would Luffy ask you to open it?
- he had such a big mischievous grin when he came back and then when he saw the pickle jar sitting next to you, the cap right next to it, oml he freaked out
- “HUH? HOW DID YOU OPEN IT-?!”
- “What do you mean? It was super loose.”
- ….
- nah he’s dead now watch him go sob in the corner
- man was sobbing for about an hour or two before Sanji was able to feed him some meat to make him stop crying. Has ptsd with pickle jars now- and you felt bad so you gave him a jar for him to open (you could’ve opened it but you wanted to make him feel tough and strong 💜💜)
- “Luffy, I just can’t open this thing, can you open it?”
- The way his eyes lit up and he just RAN to help you, “MHM! Sure!”
- opened it without a problem and puffed his chest out, crossing his arms, “Shishishi~ I’m strong!!!!”
- “You’re the strongest captain ever! King of the pirates! Roger wishes he was you!!!” -you
- He was giggling, flexing his muscles and all lmfao
- man Luffy is lucky to have you as his personal best cheerleader 💜💜😭
- oh nah, the prank you did on him did not end well 💀 man literally blew up and poor killer had to just sit there in the midst of his explosion (his mental health was harmed in the process of this)
- things chilled out after you managed to give him a hug and some cuddles and coaching him through calming breaths (he does yoga to relax you can’t convince me otherwise)
- Kidd the yogi 💀💀💀
- So he decided that it’d be absolutely hilarious to do the same pickle jar prank on you bec he’s an asshole and a dumbass
- Idk how he did it, but he spent all night formulating and researching which glue was the best until he just decided to weld it shut
- “Kidd what are you doing?” -killer
- “Go to bed killer.”
- stfu Kidd don’t be mean to your best friend 💀
- fast forward to the time of the prank, he handed you the jar with a literal shit eating grin on his face, bro could not stop giggling (sounds like a fucking clown. And I don’t mean in a good way.)
- “Why are you giggling..?” -you
- “No reason >:)”
- You opened it, continuing to watch your show on the tv, handing it back to him. There was a moment of silence that lasted about 5 minutes. He was not moving, blinking, nor breathing for that matter. Killer walked by the room, and took a picture before walking away 💀
- man just started yelling outta nowhere, scaring the literal shit out of you
- “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!” -Kidd
- “WHAT THE FUCK KIDD?!” -you
- “HOW DID YOU FUCKING OPEN IT?”
- “IT WAS FUCKING LOOSE.”
- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WELDED THE FUCKIN THING SHUT!”
- “…..”
- “Why the fuck did you weld it shut you dumbass?” -you
- he beat you up (correction) you beat him up for even trying to beat you up
- he didn’t seem that affected by your prank earlier but trust me, he’s crying on the inside, praying to corazon and asking: why tf am I so fucking weak
- after you told him it was just a joke he was pretty mad and ignored you for about a day (before he just couldn’t ignore the love of his life anymore😂)
- but yeah lesson learned, don’t do it again
- well he thought it’d be funny to do it to you since it made him so irritated (he will not admit that and will tell you that Bepo made him do it or something like that)
- the hardest part for him was asking you for help because anytime he does you get all smirky and say: “ooooo you need my help??? 😏”
- “never mind I don’t.”
- “NO- IM SORRY ILL HELP!”
- so yeah he was a bit nervous about asking you- but he had to do it lmao
- “Y/n-ya, can you open this for me?”
- “Sure.”
- you literally opened it in seconds, you didn’t even struggle.
what the fuck?
- “Y/n. How did you open that?..”
- “It was loose, did you loosen it?”
- “…….I’m gonna go to bed now.”
- “it’s 2pm!”
- “I’m. Going. To. Bed.”
- went straight to his computer to look up
- “Is my s/o a demon?”
- “what is the strength level for opening glued shut pickle jar”
- “911 marine hq”
- “counseling hotline”
- “can glue expire?”
- “am I weak?”
- Zoro was still pretty mad that he couldn’t open the jar last time, so he’s added, “opening pickle jars for y/n, 20 reps, 2 sets, give pickles to Luffy.”
- his workout page looks like a Barbie notebook you cannot tell me otherwise
- everything is pink and neon green 💀
- anyway, mayyyyybe Luffy convinced him to do the same prank on you because Luffy kept laughing at him about it, poor moss head’s self esteem was a bit low now 😭
- So he grabbed a jar, glued the damn thing shut and went over to you (took a while because he could not find you)
- “hey y/n. Can you open this for me? I’m gonna go train.”
- “Sure.”
- he hid behind the corner, watching as you took the jar and paused, continuing to read your book before opening it with ease, putting it back on the table next to you
- man was flabbergasted.
- how the actual fuck did you do that?????
- “Zoro??? What do you want me to do with the jar?!” -you
- His plan to hide out behind the corner was ruined the moment Luffy came over and fucking said hello to him
- “Oh hey zoro!! Whatcha doin?”
- “SHUT UP!”
- “huh?”
- You turned around to see Zoro trying to shut up poor Luffy who literally wanted to just say hi 😭
- “Zoro what are you doing?? I opened the jar, is it for Sanji’s meal?”
- “….Yeah just- give it to him.”
- he looked sad, it was painful for your heart
- imagine getting stabbed, then reading something sad, listening to sad music, and then realizing. You’re sad.
- that is what this felt like
- you tried your best to comfort him (even though you didn’t know why he was sad) so you watched him train and you sat on his back while he did pushups. Seemed to make the poor guy feel better, but you still didn’t know why he was so sad in the first place :’)
a/n - poor zoro
#one piece luffy#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece hcs#anime hcs#roronoa zoro#trafalgar d water law#law one piece#law x reader#zoro x reader#law fluff#law headcanons#law op#law x you#trafalgar law#zoro op#zoro fluff#zoro x y/n#law x y/n#luffy x reader#monkey d. luffy#luffy x y/n#luffy fluff#eustass kidd#kidd x reader#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#kid op#worst generation#straw hat pirates
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Haikyuu men as fathers pt 3.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 4
Ft. Sakusa, Iwaizumi, Kageyama, and Osamu.
The age range of the kids will differ for each character but it’s from babies up til like 17 or 18 (also sometimes I model the parenting off of the way my parents were w me n my little sibs lol)
CW: Indication of pregnancy, relationships, marriage, certain styles of parenting,
Enjoy lovelies <33
………………..
Sakusa Kiyoomi:
The panic on his face is pure gold. “Babe… Babe she’s drooling on me!” You whip out your phone so fast. “Smile for the camera, Kiyo!”
He’s pouting, but you don’t really care. Not after you told him to grab her bib because she might drool. He insisted that ‘my little girl won’t drool on me.’ And now here he is panicking about it.
It’s not that he minded her saliva… it’s that he’s in uniform because he wanted to hold Kokomi before heading to work.
Your nine month old daughter is clapping her hands at her dad. You’re sure she finds this whole ordeal hilarious just like you do.
“Stop recording me and get the bib. It’s gonna get on my uniform.” He says with his eyebrows furrowed. “What happened to ‘oh she won’t drool on me’ I thought you didn’t need the bib.” You mock your boyfriend of three years.
He frowns and sets Kokomi onto the floor. “Go crawl to mommy, yeah?” She immediately starts crying and you knew this would happen. Your baby is most definitely a daddy’s girl.
“Kiyoomi, pick her back up. She wants her daddy.” He glares at your statement because you’re still mocking him. “This is not funny.” He states. Just as you were about to make a comeback Kokomi took the both of you by surprise.
She was crying and crawling over to Kiyoomi, “Da- DAA!” Both your eyes widen at the realization that’s she’s saying ‘da da.’ You open up your phone and press record. “Kiyo! Make her say it again.”
“I can’t just magically make her say it.” He says sarcastically and you roll your eyes. “That’s not what I mean! Start walking away I’m sure she’ll say it again.” Kiyoomi walks very slowly so she has time to catch up by crawling and sure enough she says it again, “DA DA.”
You stop the recording and clap your hands. “Good job, princess! That is da da!” Kiyoomi picks her up and wipes her tears with his hand.
“Don’t cry little one, da da’s right here.” He assures her and she claps again.
And for the next couple of weeks all Kiyoomi heard was “da da.”
Sure you were bummed she didn’t say “mama” first, but guess what? You aren’t the one who has to go help her when Kiyoomi’s around because all your little princess wants is her “da da”
He’s so sensitive abt her, for example he cries on her first birthday because “she’s growing so fast”
He teases you for being jealous of your daughter, but you can’t help it! She’s getting all his attention :( (he tends to you later <3)
He seems like the type of dad to sign his kid up for a bunch of sports/activities so he can try to find something for her to become good at
He has tea parties with her, she loves when you play the charming prince and kiyoomi plays the pretty princess 😂
OMG whenever she has nightmares he’ll follow her back to her room and sleep in her bed w her (you keep telling him he’s gonna break it lmfao)
Doesn’t let her date for a LONGGGGG time
He spoils her absolutely rotten
He cried tears of joy when he saw his little girl walking down the aisle being the cutest little flower girl at your guys’ wedding
SUCH A SOFT DAD, she’ll ask for something and you’ll give him that look so he’s like “N-no.” And she gives him those eyes and he’s like “baby, how I can say no to those eyes?!”
Iwaizumi Hajime:
“HIGHER DADDY, HIGHER!” Your seven year old daughter screams as Iwaizumi launches her into the air and catches her.
“Sato has to have his turn, pumpkin.” He sets his little girl down and comes over to you with grabby hands for his son.
“He’s one Haji, that might scare him.” You reason. He takes him anyway and you shake your head.
He throws Sato up into the air, it’s not too high. He catches the chubby little baby and you wait for the crying. It never comes though, because you hear your little boy giggle.
”What’d I tell you, sweetheart?” His face is smug because he was right.
“Daddy lift me up too! Mommy says you’re very strong!” She too has grabby hands. “Oh really?” He says smirking. The brunette lifts up his daughter so he’s holding both children in his arms.
You’re staring, hard. You and Iwaizumi have created a beautiful little family that’s bound to grow bigger at your surprise.
“Take a picture, Mommy. It’ll last longer.” His tone is laced with smugness. “Yeah yeah.” You roll your eyes. Even though his statement was meant as a joke you pull out your phone and take a picture anyway.
As he’s about to set them down you stop him, “wait we gotta get one more with me in it!” You say walking over to them to take a selfie.
“We don’t want our other little one to feel left out, now do we?” It takes him a second to realize what you said. It was too funny not to document his response so you snap pics of his surprised face.
“You’re pregnant?!” He says in shock. “Yeah, thanks to somebody.” Your daughter is next to speak.
“It’s because of the baby fairy, right?!” She asks excitedly.
Iwaizumi laughs, “yeah, the baby fairy is bringing you another little sibling.” Iwaizumi explains with a big smile on his face. You want to flip him off but not in front of the kids.
He’ll take his little girl to the gym (and his son when he gets older) and use her to do his work outs (She’ll be on his back while he’s doing push ups, “five more, Daddy!”)
teaches his children the importance of health
i can see him empowering his daughter and telling her if someone hits her then she has permission to hit back
sometimes he misses his children’s events but he’ll make up for it with something fun
He seems like the type to want a lot of kids (enough to have his own little volleyball team lmao)
He’s always telling them to not be like their uncle oikawa
ALWAYS taking pics of the little cuties
Idk what it is abt him but Sato it his only boy, something abt him just makes me think he’d have almost all girls 😂
Invested in a suv so he can drive the kiddos to school
such a fucking dad boss, he goes to all the parent teacher conferences, etc etc.
I’m 1 mil percent sure he makes his kids wearing matching pjs and they love it at first but they hate it when they get older lmao
he’s the strict but nice dad (pretty chill until one of the kids fuck up or if he isn’t a fan of something)
Not only does he get on his kids for eating junk food he nags you about it too
has all his kids stuffies names’ memorized “daddy! Popcorn has a boo boo!”
he’s big on family outdoor trips (you suggested glamping and he told you that’s such an oikawa idea and your fam is gonna do camping the right way)
Hesitant on letting his kids use technology, he didn’t want them to become fully dependent on tech (they aren’t 🫶🏾)
Kageyama Tobio:
“That’s my boy. When you’re setting you don’t want to slap the ball up with your palm, it’s more like slightly tapping it with your fingertips, uhhh does that make since?” Kageyama tries to explain to his twelve year old.
“I think I get it?” Kaito says in a questioning tone. Kageyama scratches his head. “I wonder when your mom will get home with the girls.” Kageyama thinks aloud.
Kaito shrugs and returns to practice setting the ball. He’s done it a few times and Kageyama praises everyone of his sets, even if some of them are really crappy.
“Dad, you don’t need to praise the bad ones. It doesn’t make me feel better. If you praise my trashy work then I’ll settle for being trashy.” Kaito explains to his father. Kageyama puts his hands on his hips, his face turns into a smirk.
“If you want real practice don’t get upset when I criticize every little thing. You know I’m nit picky when it comes to volleyball.” With that he removes his hands from his hips. His steps were even and he asks his son for the ball.
“Mom says you’re bitchy about volleyball. She says it’s gotten better though.” Kaito says, meaning little harm. He knew that would get Kageyama riled up.
“Huh? You’re joking, right?!” Kageyama’s squeezing the volleyball and Kaito is suppressing a laugh.
“Well she says that’s what uncle shoyo says and she agrees with him.” Kageyama mumbles something about you and Hinata. Kaito is sure it’s something along the lines of, ‘I’ll show them a true bitch.’
Kaito gets some good practice in, mainly because his dad is somewhat upset.
You’re finally home with your twin daughters who are two. You find your husband and eldest in the backyard together playing volleyball.
“Kaito, you’ll be as good as your dad one day!” You praise seeing the results of Kageyama’s practice with him.
“What’s this talk about me being bitchy when playing volleyball?” Kageyama confronts and your eyes immediately land on your son.
“Kaito! You cannot keep a secret for the life of you, huh?” You say with a chuckle.
“I get it from you, Mom.” He says seriously.
“Babe, it’s nothin serious. Just a small observation of Shoyo. It’s not supposed to be in a mean way.” You try to coax him. He isn’t having it though.
He starts fussing so you tell Kaito to get his sisters and take them to go play with toys.
As soon as they’re out of sight you walk up to your husband and give him a warm, loving kiss.
“Tobio, you are not taking this to heart right now,” a small chuckle leaves your lips. “As your wife I make comments about you all the time cuz you know as well as I do that I mean it in a loving way. I’m still not over you calling me a swelling balloon when I was pregnant!” You rant, the ending part of your rant earns a snort from your husband.
“You’re my swelling balloon.” For some reason that almost sounded sexy but you aren’t going to let it slide. You give him a playful punch.
“Can you guys quit being saps?” Kaito yells from the door.
“It’s your night to help potty train.” You say with a wink and Kageyama groans.
If he sees his child showing any interest in volleyball he’ll do his best to make his kid a next gen star
he despises that you make the family match for holidays and you send the photos out to family
He lets his kids run around butt naked when they’re little (until you scold him)
he wouldn’t see the problem in letting the twins have ice cream for breakfast
he learned how to do hair so he can braid his little girls’ hair 🥺
he and his son argue abt the dumbest things (got that Kageyama and hinata energy)
Also the competitive dad who wants his kids to be better than everyone else’s kids
he will literally bully any little kid to the point where they cry if they mess w his kids
I don’t think he’d freak out when his daughters start their period he’s just like “okay. I think ur mom has pads somewhere 🧍🏻”
Miya Osamu:
“Pa! Come quick!” 6 and a half year old Haruki yells from the bathroom. When Osamu hears him he comes running up the stairs and into the bathroom.
“The heck ya doing in here? Yer ma’s gonna tear ya a new one!” Osamu examines the mess his son has made with finger paint. “I was trying something, Pa. Then my tooth came out cuz I was wigglin’ it!”
It isn’t until his son says that sentence that he notices there’s a small empty space in his mouth where his little tooth should be. “Huh? This yer first tooth?” Osamu asks.
“Pa, I been talking about this darn tooth for weeks!” His son responds with sass.
“well ‘cuse me for forgettin’ little man.” Osamu says with a roll of his eyes. This boy has got your attitude big time.
“You stay right here, ima go get ya some warm salt water. Don’t ya move.” Osamu warns as he goes to fetch some water for his son.
“So I can’t even breathe?” He asks sarcastically.
“Quit bein’ a lil smart aleck.” Osamu demands with a little bit more strictness in his tone. He’s usually pretty laid back with his son but sometimes Haruki hears the way his Uncle ‘Tsumu talks to his dad and he thinks he can talk that way.
Osamu runs down the stairs to the kitchen and scrambles around for a cup. He finds the salt and sprinkles some in. He puts the cup in the microwave for about a minute and it feels like the longest minute of his life.
“Hurry, Pa! The blood’s gettin’ everywhere!” Haruki yells out of worry.
Osamu retrieves the cup from the microwave and stampedes up the stairs to the bathroom.
“Here, swish it. All of it.” He commands.
“Pa I don’t wanna swish all this salt water it won’t taste good.” He explains to his pa.
“Do ya want the blood to go away or nah?” Osamu asks and Haruki shakes his head yes.
Your mini me began to swish the water as Osamu cleaned up the bathroom.
“Yer lucky I saved ya. Shoulda told yer ma ‘bout the mess you made.” Osamu snorts.
“Do ya think my baby sister will look like you or ma?” Haruki asks instead of thanking his father for cleaning his mess.
“I reckon she’ll get my beautiful eyes that drew yer ma to me n my thick brows.” Osamu says proudly puffing his chest.
“‘s not the only thing ma calls thick.” Haruki mutters which makes Osamu look down to him.
“Whaddya mean?” He asks his eyebrows scrunching up.
“She always talks to Uncle Rin ‘bout how thick ur butt is but she says it with two c’s at the end instead of T-H-I-C-K. What does the one with two c’s mean, Pa?” Haruki asks out of pure curiosity.
Osamu’s face goes red and he covers his face.
“It don’t mean nothin’ at all son. Don’t listen to what yer ma says that’s just her talking crazy.” Your husband explains.
“So when she tells me to go to bed-” Osamu cuts him off.
“I outta pop you for how smart yer acting.” Osamu says firmly.
“Sorry Pa, I’ll stop.” Haruki has a cheeky little smile on his face. He knows Osamu isn’t going to do anything. You handle all the discipline.
Osamu’s phone buzzes loudly in his pocket and he takes it out to answer it.
Osamu’s face goes still and then his eyes about pop out his head. “Slow down honey one word atta time.” Haruki hears you yell over the phone.
“We’re on our way right now.” Osamu says in quickly.
“Let’s go pack yer bag Haruki, yer staying with Uncle ‘Tsumu.” Haruki doesn’t move a muscle but then his dad gives him the look that says ‘do not test me right now’
“Is Ma okay?” Haruki asks his dad slightly worried.
“As okay as you can be goin’ into labor.” Osamu responds. For Haruki’ age he’s an advanced child but he’s picked up on the twins vulgar language and their accent. He knew what it meant when Osamu said you went into labor.
“My sister’s comin’?!” He asks excitedly.
“Mhm, now go pack yer bag. Ya need three shirts, three pairs of pants, some underwear and matching socks. Yer uncle will take ya to school. If I don’t come get you within the next three days just ask yer uncle to wash yer clothes. We’ll most likely see ya tomorrow but yer gonna stay with yer uncle to yer ma’s outta the hospital.”
Osamu explains all at once. “Okay Pa!”
let’s his kiddos get away with a lot more than they should
teaching them to cook was like his favorite thing to do
he lets you handle the punishments because Osamu is a soft dad
Whenever atsumu is over and you aren’t around he’s swearing like a sailor to his brother and his kids pick up on it 😭
100% a cuddler (Haruki acts like he hates it but he doesn’t)
idc what y’all say but he takes his daughter shopping like prom coming up? He’s there when she’s trying on dresses
no phones at the table enforcer (believes in quality family time)
he was relieved to not have twins like his brother did 😂
always teasing Haruki (for example he hates seeing u guys kiss so Osamu purposely kisses u in front of him just to upset him lmao)
the poor man tries his best w homework but geometry doesn’t make any sense “why are there shapes in math ya only really need to know how to add, subtract, multiply, n divide”
something just tells me he has a bird feeder and he enjoys drinking his coffee in the morning (little ones have hot chocolate) and watch the birds come and eat
#kageyama tobio#kageyama x reader#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa x reader#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi x reader#osamu x reader#miya osamu#miya osamu x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu dads#dad!haikyuu#haikyuu characters as dads#haikyuu!!#haikyuu
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