#lmfao in all seriousness it's interesting to see that almost a third of the people who've voted choose not to wear makeup simply because of

[leonardcohenofficial]

hi I’m curious as what you think about the makeup poll results ! have a good day <3

what i've learned is that making this poll was a mistake and people will go out of their way to be obtuse on this site lmfao

[marcsnuffy]

so what did you think of the epinagi movie 👁️

One of the movies ever made I think, but in the mid way. I did enjoy the experience though. I just think it all went by too fast, except for the Team Z match.

I get that they really wanted to end it in a way that ties back into the u-20 match for the next season (to hype people up and deny the gay movie allegations) but it felt kinda sloppily executed, specifically because everything from where Isagi stops being in team white to the third selection wasn't animated.

And also a lot of stuff that made Episode Nagi enjoyable to read just wasn't there. The art being one of them. In my opinion, most of the time the animation was almost TV level, if a bit more polished. I don't know if I just dislike the way 8bit animates bllk, but I felt kinda disappointed. They *did* have some scenes that looked good, (I liked that one Nagi goal in the match against the Wanimas, Nagi and Isagi's auras colliding (Isagi's stinky neon green aura included), that scene where the E-4 celebrate Isagi's goal. There are more but I forgot already. Also Nagi's aura looked cool every now and then but it really does look like Sans lmfao) but after some point they gave up on animating matches and started using 3D models, which is appalling but also, it's anime bllk's charm (?) at this point.

Re: scenes they cut, I think it's insane they skipped over the 3v3 where Reo and Kunigami lose. Since, at some point, this movie turns a recap with Reo and Nagi's thoughts over it, then isn't that a load bearing bit? Reo doesn't even say he wants to die or that he's just like his father. You (as in, general audiences who won't read Epinagi) don't get to reinterpret that moment their inner thoughts, which is one of the things that makes Epinagi interesting as a spinoff. I put so much emphasis there because both of the people I went with completely forgot about it and they were like "Oh, so by U-20 they're fine", as if the end of that 3v3 doesn't hang over them to this day 😭 

There's actually a lot of stuff that got cut out that, even if it's not really that important, I still felt :( at not seeing, like Ba-ya getting Choki and clocking Nagi's issues, Reo & Nagi noticing stuff about the tag game, Hakuho's students thoughts on Nagi, Reo rejecting a girl over Nagi (I thought I'd be really funny to see the reaction to that since whenever the movie got kinda gay people in my screening were like ‼️⁉️. fujonation & dudebronation peace), Reo and Zantetsu not getting along, Reo's interactions with the team, and everything before the "I'm not Reo's slave, I'm his partner" scene, since I felt it fit in kinda awkwardly without context. 

Final thoughts. Take your local Reonagi fan to see this movie. Take your friends to convert them into or get them to acknowledge Reonagism, even.

If you don't like Reo or Nagi or Reo and Nagi but you do like Team Z, you'll like a big chunk of this movie (seriously that match is so long omfg). Watch this movie at the theatre if you're into that but you can also wait until it's on streaming or pirating sites if you don't want to pay for it (I don't think the movie itself is worth it, but I had fun so maybe go with low expectations & someone to show deranged death game football yaoi to?)

[imashoe69420]

Those Eyes: Rise! Leo x OC

Chapter 4

^^ A quick sketch of Lala and her “cabbage” hoodie lmfao

Warning ⚠️: mild language, parental manipulation

Recap:

He sighs, annoyed. “Fine. I will give you a reward if you complete this mission.” The man points at my neck where the metal ring around it glistens in the moonlight.

“If you complete this mission, I will take that thing off. For good.”

• • •

I try to remain stoic, but I can’t help but bug my eyes out.

Taking this thing off… for good? I’m not even sure what it does or why it’s there in the first place. Do I even want to know what happens? What if nothing happens at all?

“Wait, seriously?” I furrow my eyebrows.

The Lieutenant nods. “When you bug them, our mission will be nearly complete. We will have all the armor pieces and we will need you at your fullest potential.”

“What even is my ‘fullest potential’? I’ve had this thing on since I was little and no one has ever told me why it’s there.” I stare up at him, hoping to receive the answers I’ve been wanting for years.

Once again, I don’t get them.

“It’s the reason why you’re my best asset. You will know when you complete your mission. Will you do it?”

“I…” Is this really worth it…? Am I willing to be let down again? But maybe the Lieutenant is right and I do have some sort of power.

I hope he’s telling me the truth.

* * *

6:30AM

The next morning, I can barely keep my eyes open to turn off my alarm. I returned to my apartment at about 3AM with school being five (5) hours later.

I’m an idiot for that, but I don’t have anything big going on today anyways.

Crawling out of my bed, I take a step onto the floor and instantly recoil in pain. “God fuckin’…”

I look down at the floor and see the one thing I didn’t want to see first thing in the morning:

The Bug.

It must’ve fallen out of my jacket pocket when I threw it on the floor last night.

I pick it up and place it on my night stand before throwing off my sheets and getting ready for eight (8) hours of hell.

* * *

First and second period are blurs. I tried to brush it off this morning, but I can’t stop thinking about the Bug.

And Leo.

Everything about this feels so wrong. Like, I feel grimy like I haven’t showered in weeks. Why is this eating at me the way it is? Leo—and the other turtles—are supposed to be our enemies. But when I think of enemies, I think of my 5th grade class: pathetic people who can’t own their shit in fear of taking responsibility for their actions. Not Leo.

At least in our exchange last night, he was pleasant. When I punched him on accident, he wasn’t angry at me.

“God, you have a hellva right hook.”

Not even a groan or swearing. He was sarcastic, funny. Almost everything I said, he had a quip or joke or light tease for. I’ve never met anybody like that.

But I don’t know him. That was our only interaction, so why do I feel like I’ve known him forever? Like I’m betraying him?

“Lala,” my science teacher whom I haven’t bothered to remember the name of taps my shoulder, “class is dismissed.”

I look around to see an empty classroom and a few students trickle in for their third period class. I scoop up my backpack and speed-walk out of the classroom, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Third and fourth period fly by like I had wished they would. Now I can go to the library and finally focus on something other than Foot Clan bullshit. I’ve been reading a series about space lesbians. I wouldn’t characterize myself as such, but they are interesting to read about.

Soon, I feel myself begin to drift in and out of the middle place between being awake and sleep, barely able to keep my place. I cross my arms on the desk and rest my head against them prepared to just rest my eyes for a bit.

~~~~~

I walked down the street on my way home texting the Lieutenant of my location. My phone dings loudly, causing my ears to ring. I fumble the phone until it lands face down on the ground.

When I turn it over, it’s shattered, but somehow I already knew it was.

What shocked me was the caller ID had changed.

It was Leo.

I try to answer his call, but I have no bars.

“A mountain…” I said slowly before looking around and spotting a hill. I climbed on top of it and held my phone into the air.

Suddenly, the Leo’s caller ID popped up again.

I answered it. “Leo! I’ve been trying to call you but you—”

“Lala, don’t turn around.” A voice said, but it wasn’t Leo’s voice. “Don’t turn around!” He said this over and over again before the call dropped.

Despite his warning, I turned around and saw a future, but I didn’t know which.

It was me.

But it wasn’t… me.

I was in a Foot uniform with Foot soldiers by my side. I had a wide smirk on my face, and point towards the present me.

My heart began pounding as we stared at each other before the floor beneath me opened and I fell through into a dark pit of nothingness.

~~~~~~

I shoot awake, my heart still pounding.

What the hell was that…?

It’s been a while since I’ve had a dream like that in years, but it was different. The “future” me was lit by blue fire and my eyes radiated a light blue as well. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I wasn’t afraid of her like I was with the Foot one.

And why would Leo call me? I don’t even have his number or any sort of communication with him. Why is he even in my dreams?

I shake my head as the lunch bell rings and I head to the cafeteria.

* * *

Thank-fuckin’-god this day is over! I couldn’t stand those preppy kids their mocks toward me for being a freshman for much longer.

At my apartment, I enter my bedroom and crash onto my bed, sleep quickly overcoming me. I wake up about five (5) hours later and notice The Lieutenant had pinged me an hour or so ago, then thirty (30) minutes ago, and then fifteen (15) minutes.

He’s probably gonna make me patrol the city to look for the turtles as he had said he would last night, but for some reason, I feel hesitant about going for the first time in a while.

*Third Person POV*

Leo sat up and yawned loudly as he awoke from his twelve (12) hour slumber. He was hungry, so he sluggishly made his way to the kitchen.

As he was walking, he heard commotion going on in his destination and decided to ear-hustle.

“I mean, who would he even see? We don’t know anybody else besides April.” He heard his oldest brother, Raph, say.

“Yeah, but what if he knows someone we don’t? I mean, none of us have gone out alone for that long. What else could he be doing?” Mikey snitched Leo out.

“Mikey, I think you’re overthinking this.” Raph denied him. “If Leo was talking to someone else besides us or April, he would let his brothers know… right?”

Donnie sighed, exasperated by the conversation. “Why are we even talking about this? Whatever Leo is doing shouldn’t concern us. Besides, we should be worrying about this thing.” The purple clad turtle opened his hand to reveal the armor piece they’d stolen from The Foot two (2) days before. “It’s energy levels are impeccable; I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

Leo retreated back to his bedroom after his brothers stopped talking about him. At least he knew that Raph and Donnie didn’t believe Mikey. The last thing he wanted was all his brothers interrogating him. What would he even say? “Hey, guys, you remember that girl I saved oh-so bravely two (2) days ago? Yeah, I went all over the city looking for her and talked to her for all of ten (10) seconds before she ran off.” Of course not, he’d look like a stalker. Or an idiot. Or an idiot-stalker. All of those he didn’t want to be.

“Leo!” Raph seemed to always yell for him at an unreasonably long distance. “We’re on the move. Come to the Turtle Tank.”

The blue clad turtle quickly made his way over to his brothers to go on another mission.

• • •

L͟a͟l͟a͟’̲s͟ P͟.̲O͟.̲V͟.̲

As I had originally thought, the Lieutenant wants me to patrol. Not for the turtles, though. He wants me to scout a building to make sure it’s closed and everybody has left. Is it for the armor or paper again? I have no clue. I didn’t have the energy to fight for an answer from him today.

I stay posted on a rooftop a couple buildings away after I had cleared the building in question. The street lights cast onto the empty street below, but the alleys stay as pitch black as the night. They remind me of my dream earlier today, and I swear I see the “future” me staring up at me in the corner of my eye. I focus onto the alley, but there’s no one there.

The dream has left me in my head all day. That and the Bug. I had looked up what my dream meant while coming over here. Apparently my communication is stunted and I haven’t been listening to myself. In my opinion, there isn’t any room for that.

I don’t remember my life before The Foot. As I’ve said before, I only remember the fifth (5th) grade incident. The Lieutenant had told me I’d been with them since I was a toddler, but nothing more than that. I often fantasized about what my parents would’ve been like. What if I had siblings? Aunts? Uncles? Cousins? I get the feeling that I will never know.

I say this to day that I’ve been under someone’s control for my whole life. I am only a child in the Lieutenant’s eyes, therefore I must listen to him and never trust my adolescent mind. The more I think about it, the more I realize just how much I sound like him sometimes. I’ve never seen the Lieutenant as my father or any sort of father figure, but he’s been the constant in my life. He taught me how to fight, steal, and manipulate others into getting what I wanted. I had briefly admired him… maybe I still kinda do…? But more than anything, he’s been scaring me lately.

I feel like I owe him my loyalty. If what he says is true, he could’ve left me to starve. Bad things could’ve happened to me if he and The Foot hadn’t taken me in. Not only that, but he constantly reminds me of it; constantly accusing me of trying to betray him. If I was bold enough I would, but where would I go? The Foot pays for my apartment, my schooling, they train me, they know everything I know and more. Where would I run and who would I run to?

These thoughts diminish when I hear a loud engine revving. I look towards the building and see a large round vehicle turn off it’s headlights as individuals hidden by the shadows exit through a hole in the top of it and sprint towards the building.

I leap from my post to the back entrance and quietly push the door open.

• • •

Another Lala centered chapter, but I swear this is the last one for a while! Stay safe!

-ℍ𝕒𝕟𝟟𝕒

[conduitandconjurer]

Hi there! I’ve lurked for a little while and just recently followed. You have a really interesting take on Klaus and I’d like to ask: what kind of things do you do to get into character so to speak? Are there any important things about his character you like to keep in mind when you write him? And as someone who has written for many years but is considering rp, any advice for a first-timer? Thanks and hope you have a wonderful day/night!

First of all you should know that I’ve been rping on various platforms for over 15 years at this point, and messages like this still MAKE MY WHOLE WORLD BETTER <33333  Thank you SO much for your gracious and generous kind words.  You took a second to extend a hello and compliment my hard work and it means so so much.

So Klaus and I are NOTHING alike, which is exactly why I choose to write muses like him.  It provides me an outlet of escape from my own life (which has its ups and downs) and it’s a creative and intellectual challenge to understand what makes a person so behaviorally different from myself tick. Most writers like to write characters who are like them.  And I do that too, but for me, I just need some single trait in a character that I resonate with. For Klaus, it’s his innate sweetness and vulnerability (which he tries and fails to conceal) and his need (and failure) to establish boundaries (with family and with ghosts), and finally it’s his fear of being insufficient as a person his family can rely upon (which he copes with by creating artificial emotional distance, and abusing substances, whereas I the mun marinate in guilt and try to overcompensate lmao).  While we’re still not alike, I can BEGIN to understand WHY he behaves the way he does, and I can build my portrayal off of that. 

Put another way, most of my muses are queer nonbinary he/him/they pronoun users, often neurodivergent, who are undergoing a moral struggle, usually somewhere in the antihero category, or even villains. I on the other hand am a queer cis disabled woman with PTSD who is a Lawful Good......and I think that, having a point for relating to but still not being exactly like my muses,  I almost begin to see myself as these characters’ mother or advocate of some kind.  I want to see them GROW and THRIVE.  From that urge, I derive the compassion that every writer needs to have for their character to (try to) portray them authentically.  

And that also means that the character is not going to remain within the bounds of their canonical portrayal. The way I write them will always START and be BASED ON that.  But the character will grow far afield of it.  Take Klaus, for instance. I sense you call my portrayal “interesting” (correct me if I’m wrong) because I choose to write Klaus as almost always post-season 2 AND sober.  He’s more at peace with himself than he was during the first season, he’s begun to properly process his grief for Dave Katz, he’s getting clean and staying clean, he’s becoming more emotionally reliable.  But he still makes mistakes, he still has the most severe, frustrating and painful (for him) case of ADHD I have ever seen, people still don’t “take him seriously” (his own words) and he has to grow a thick skin about their dismissive behavior.  

The fandom, even a number of Klaus rpers, like to keep Klaus in this depressing stasis chamber where he’s constantly nihilistic, selfish, and strung out, and a lot of people see Klaus’s addictions as the brunt of jokes, and while that’s cool for them, and I’d never ask them to censor their portrayal, that makes me uncomfortable. As a person who’s worked with, still works with, at-risk youth at the college level, I just can’t jive with it.  Addiction is an illness and it’s not funny, and there are underlying reasons for Klaus’s addictions.  And what I want to do is excavate those underlying reasons, and watch him get the support he needs. He is still a snarky, sartorial, chaotic, quirkily sweet goofball when he’s sober.  He’s still Klaus.  

Things I do to get in the headspace:

--Listen to playlists that I make for the character or mood. Music is crucial.  --Watch videos of Robert Sheehan talking. Doesn’t have to be as Klaus, but sometimes is.  If you can’t hear the character in the dialogue (not only word choose but little mannerisms and speech patterns), rewrite it. Don’t settle until you can hear the actor’s voice.   --Scream to my friends on Discord about how much I love specific elements of the character, to get psyched up. I’m so sorry, @apocalypsejumped, you are the main person I do this to with Klaus, lmfao.  

--Never EVER look at my follower count, because it’s gonna either depress or intimidate me. 

--Look at pictures of the character. I’m incredibly visual. Just looking at my own screenshots makes me want to dissect him more. 

For advice? Oh lordy!   Uhhhh..... 

Write a lot. Practice a lot. I have a PhD and have written book manuscripts exceeding 600 pages, but you don’t have to go that far, lmao. That drabble in your head at 3 am? Get up and write it down. That passing bit of funny dialogue you think your muse would say? Write it down. I used to carry around a physical journal. Now I use my laptop. 

Write fast and only edit minimally because this is for fun, avocational, and you don’t want to spoil it with too much plotting and refinement.

Drop threads that aren’t working for you. Again, this is not a job, and when it feels like one, scale back.

Resist the urge to over-format.  If your posts cease to be easily legible, the aesthetic will only impede the flow of your prose.   It’s okay to vary your writing voice character by character. My syntax, vocab/word choice, sentence length and structure, vary from one muse to the other, bc the standard rp pov is third person singular, present-tense, meaning your muse is narrating it all from their specific pov.  Klaus and say, a very serious, formal character, would not have the same internal monologue, or even exposition. 

Beware of writing partners who are passive aggressive or possessive, who get jealous of your writing with others, and guilt you for spending your time elsewhere than catering to their needs.  I spent eight years in one of these writing partnerships and only escaped last March, and I am still recovering emotionally. Writing partners can absolutely be abusive, so make sure to enforce healthy boundaries and when they are violated repeatedly, run.

Pick a blog theme that is clearly organized and accessible. 

Don’t pick “main” or heaven forbid “exclusive” writing partners until you have experimented with your chemistry with a number of “versions” of their character (especially canons).  Take your time and see who you gel with. Sometimes you can have a great friendship with someone and your writing together still doesn’t click. It all depends on chemistry.  

Pick a small group of like minded friends and write with them. Do not worry about “exposure” or “popularity,” they are over rated.  Fandoms are genuinely crazy.  Just sit in your sandbox with your trusted buddies. <3 

Anyone else reading this, chime in with some writing advice for nonnie! <3 They’re an experienced writer but new to rp! 

[lilnasxvevo]

I wrote an essay once when it was really late and I was really frustrated

I am not going to send it to my literary journal and I did not even hand it in for the class I wrote it for (the next essay I wrote was passable enough to submit) but I think it is kind of funny so I am going to share it with you

Zoom Zoom

           Draft number four of this FUCKING essay because I can’t FUCKING write. I just through out the last three because they sucked and excuse my language but I’m so frustrated at myself and I typed the wrong homophone in the last sentence and I went back and changed it but then I changed it back so you understand where I’m at right now because I NEVER!! MAKE!! SPELLING MISTAKES!! I was on the editorial staff of my high school newspaper for two years and that shit was flawless! I was editor in chief and that shit was free of god damn error! I do not make! Spelling mistakes!

           I’m so frustrated because part of me just wants to write about a motherfucking TV show and the rest of me is like, “No, Thomas, that’s so fucking stupid, write about something that’s serious, something people can take seriously, something people can respect, but NOT something boring” and I’m like OK!! WELL!! THAT’S A TALL ORDER YOU’VE GIVEN YOURSELF TOMMY BOY!!

           I’ve been trying to copy the style of the essays we’ve been reading in the last three drafts I just started and abandoned. I wrote…lets see…(I will be keeping all future grammar and spelling errors that I make) over 1300 words that way so far today. Fuck it!! I am going to be writing like ME and what I write like is a protagonist from a really sub-par young adult novel. I read a lot of those! But I was already like that before I read all those books. Actually most of the ones I read are pretty great. Holly Black, David Levithan, uh those Girl, 15, Charming but Insane books I forget who writes them but if I look it up I have to stop my timer and that is just not happening—check em out, they’re great. Oh, Eoin Colfer, too. I have his autograph! I actually also have David’s.

           I made a list of all the things I could write this essay about. I didn’t want to write about being queer again because I don’t want you people to pigeonhole me. There’s like 50 items on that list. I’ll spare you. The list sucks. I texted my best friend “What should I write this essay about” and she said “Roman Catholicism” and I was like “Maybe” and she was like “Vampires” and I was like “LMFAO you will never believe what I wrote last time spoiler it was vampires.”

           I have ADHD. Sometimes this surprises people! Sometimes it does not! Usually it doesn’t surprise other people who have ADHD because we go based on our lived experiences instead of stereotypes unlike SOME people. I was diagnosed when I was 17 which is super super late but they literally, and you can look this up, base most criteria off of the symptoms of little white cisgender boys, who are usually hyperactive, and I was inattentive type. My third grade teacher used to slap my desk with a ruler when I spaced out. She never brought up my attention issues to anyone else. I hated her. I still hate her. Curse you, Cathy Sellers!!

           I have chilled out on the caps lock because maybe that was kind of a gimmick. Ok. Well. The ADHD. I actually don’t remember why I brought up ADHD, which is classic ADHD. Oh. I think it was to say that maybe you will be surprised that the inside of my head is this giant mess. Not to be all “welcome to my twisted mind” or that edgy shit. Maybe I’m trying to make an embarrassing essay on purpose. The point is some people think I’m very composed and stuff and the inside of my head has never once been composed. Well, maybe a few times. I miss standardized testing because they don’t really matter and they were fun to focus on and it was fun to fill the bubbles in and they made me feel smart. I am smart. I promise I’m smart. Sometimes people think I’m dumb because I’m a trans man which I don’t understand but I promise I’m smart.

           I just slapped my face to try to get myself to wake up a little bit. I am wiped. That cold that’s been going around is kicking my ass, though not as bad as it’s kicking the ass of other students in this class who I have maybe potentially had to drive to the pharmacy this week.

           I am so obsessed with this show on BBC America right now called Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. In ADHD circles this is sometimes called a hyperfixation—it’s kind of like the special interests autistic people have, surprise surprise ADHD and autism are both developmental disorders and they have a lot in common. Dirk Gently is all I can think about. It’s a really great show and I loved it last season because it has the actor Samuel Barnett as the lead actor and I swore my fealty to him in like 2014 and then he got a lead on a TV show which is crazy because he never gets big roles like that so I was like NICE!!! Yeah, so last season was sci-fi, and the show is really great and it has this big diverse cast and all the characters are really interesting and the show never leans on stereotype instead of fleshing out a character as a unique person and there were electric crossbows last season that were designed by that Adam Savage dude from Mythbusters. So but this season, THIS SEASON, is SO good because apparently the show is planning on “switching genres” every season but with the same main cast so now they’ve been running around trying to find each other after everyone got separated at the end of last season (spoiler) and now they’re all in Montana and instead of sci-fi it’s FANTASY which is my FAVORITE. There’s another dimension that’s this great high-fantasy nation called Wendimoor and there’s a door between the valley of Inglenook and this one town in Montana for reasons that I refuse to explain, just watch the show. Ok and in Inglenook, there’s—it’s kind of sketchy how it works but there’s this guy named Panto Trost who has pink hair (his whole family has pink hair and it’s unclear if it’s genetic or if they dye it as a tribal marker or something, and when I first saw it I was like, HOLY SHIT, WHY DID I NEVER THINK OF THAT), and he’s the prince of Inglenook, and there’s this guy named Silas Dengdamor, who’s some kind of minor prince in Inglenook somehow, and THEY. ARE. A GAY INTERRACIAL HIGH FANTASY COUPLE. THEY ARE IN LOVE.

           And the guy who plays Silas, Lee Majdoub, he’s really active on Twitter and Tumblr, which is crazy because almost no one is active on Tumblr under their real name and it’s mostly just depressed young adults like me, but Lee fields questions about the show all the time and talks about how it was an honor to play a gay prince and he has so much love for Silas and he put so much work into this character which you can tell because he has an answer ready for everything. Has he ridden that train we saw? Is he gay or bi or what? What are his hobbies? If he lived in our world what would his favorite movie be? His five favorite songs? Does he agree with his family’s stance on the feud? (Oh my god I forgot to MENTION that the Trosts and the Dengdamors are TWO FAMILIES AT WAR, which makes Silas and Panto basically gay Romeo and Juliet, but hopefully they won’t die but Dirk Gently is a “don’t get attached” kind of show.)

           And did I mention he’s respectful??? My favorite answer he’s ever given is when someone asked him what it was like to kiss Chris Russell (the other actor), which is a question every fucking presumed-straight actor gets when they play a gay role, and since there is a 4 inch height difference between them, Lee answered something like, “It was a little weird because Chris is very tall, so I felt a little like Natalie Portman in Thor. Natalie Portman and I both have dark hair so we’re practically twins.” Also he is very handsome. It is important that Lee Majdoub is very handsome. Okay, it’s important to me.

           Wow, glad I got that off my chest. It’s kind of all I ever want to talk about. Two weeks ago, before I could do my actual writing assignment for the day, I had to freewrite about Kevin Spacey for like AN HOUR. What I wrote ended up being kind of unusable for this class thus far, I just haven’t been pleased enough with the way it handled a very sensitive topic to hand it in, but it was about Kevin Spacey and Jeffrey Dahmer and OUT magazine and news media and Anthony Rapp and me.

           I wanted to write about a historical figure for this paper but all the ones I could think of that I have a strong connection to were gay. While I was typing that sentence, I thought of Dorothy Parker. Well, shit. Another day, then.

           This paper is what we call a RISK!!! pleasedontfailme

           Here are some excerpts from the other three papers I tried to write today:

·         Sometimes I sing and dance in front of them. Sometimes I scream. One time, I stood on a desk.

·         The last time I told her I was proud of her I could only do it because she had consumed an obscene amount of wine and called me to talk about one of Shakespeare’s history plays

·         I am afraid that I am a husk a husk a HUSK a husK a husk a husk a husk of Corn-ell because

I promise these essays were not good. These were the only good parts. I wanted to include them because I wanted you to understand that I covered a lot of fucking ground before settling on whatever the fuck this is. I am sorry if you feel you would rather be reading one of those other essays, but I did not want to write them.

           I just scrolled back up to the top because I remembered abruptly that this essay doesn’t have a name. It’s called Zoom Zoom now. When my sister is bored while she drives, she says, “Zoom zoom! We’re zooming!” She is 24 and has a master’s degree. This particular catchphrase of hers always comes to mind when I try to describe how my brain works—childish, too fast, bored. Her boyfriend says “Brroom brroom” when he drives. I think he picked it up from her. He calls me Thomathy. Because Thomas can be Tom for short and Tom is like Tim and Tim is short for Timothy. Get it? He says “Thomathy” sounds like a disease. I think he likes me anyway. Even though one time during a heated game of Monopoly I told him I would eat chips at his funeral.

           I have three cats. One is ten years old, the other two are one. I have a rabbit. He’s a jerk. That’s all you need to know about me. Oh, I’m from Wisconsin. My favorite color is orange.

           Yeah so thanks for coming to my TED talk. Please buy a t-shirt on my way out, they’re $20. I know TED talks don’t usually have t-shirts but I want your money. Yes. Now scram.

  Are they gone?

Jesus, I’m so fucking tired.

[nonbinarysasquatch]

Because it amuses me, I’ve decided to assemble list of Weird Al polka songs and mark what songs I’ve heard along with notations of which ones are actually in my collection. Skipping Hot Rocks Polka from UHF (yeah, I have heard all of those, and I have some of them in my collection) and Bohemian Polka (is there a human being who hasn’t heard Bohemian Rhapsody, and of course it’s in my collection.)

Songs in bold I’ve heard at some point. Songs and artists in italics I literally know nothing about.

Just because something is in my collection doesn’t mean I love it (though more often than not I do) and just because something ISN’T doesn’t mean I don’t like it.

Polkas on 45 from “Weird Al” Yankovic in 3-D (1984):

"Jocko Homo" by Devo (In My Collection) "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple (In My Collection) "Sex (I'm A...)" by Berlin (In My Collection) "Hey Jude" by The Beatles (In My Collection) "L.A. Woman" by The Doors (In My Collection) "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" by Iron Butterfly "Hey Joe" by Jimi Hendrix "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads (In My Collection) "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner "Every Breath You Take" by The Police (In My Collection) "Should I Stay or Should I Go" by The Clash (In My Collection) "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones (In My Collection)

Hooked on Polkas from Dare to Be Stupid (1985):

"State of Shock" by The Jacksons and Mick Jagger "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top "What's Love Got to Do with It" by Tina Turner (In My Collection) "Method of Modern Love" by Hall & Oates (In My Collection) "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes (In My Collection) "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister (In My Collection) "99 Luftballons" by Nena (In My Collection) "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins "The Reflex" by Duran Duran (In My Collection) "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" by Quiet Riot "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood (In My Collection)

Polka Party! from Polka Party! (1986) (one of Al’s best albums imo):

"Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel (In My Collection) "Sussudio" by Phil Collins (In My Collection) "Party All the Time" by Eddie Murphy "Say You, Say Me" by Lionel Richie (In My Collection) "Freeway of Love" by Aretha Franklin (may have heard as child) "What You Need" by INXS (In My Collection) "Harlem Shuffle" by The Rolling Stones (In My Collection) "Venus" by Bananarama (In My Collection) "Nasty" by Janet Jackson "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco (WHY IS THIS NOT IN MY COLLECTION?) "Shout" by Tears for Fears (In My Collection) "Papa Don't Preach" by Madonna (In My Collection)

Polka Your Eyes Out from Off the Deep End (1992):

"Cradle of Love" by Billy Idol (In My Collection) "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega (In My Collection) "Love Shack" by The B-52's (In My Collection) "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. (In My Collection) "Unbelievable" by EMF (another I’m surprised I don’t have) "Do Me!" by Bell Biv DeVoe "Enter Sandman" by Metallica (In My Collection) "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground "Cherry Pie" by Warrant "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls (In My Collection) "Dr. Feelgood" by Mötley Crüe "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice

The Alternative Polka from Bad Hair Day (1996) (welcome to my teen years)

"Loser" by Beck (In My Collection) "Sex Type Thing" by Stone Temple Pilots (In My Collection) "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow (In My Collection) "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails (In My Collection) "Bang and Blame" by R.E.M. (In My Collection) "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette (In My Collection) "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins (In My Collection) "My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers (In My Collection) "I'll Stick Around" by Foo Fighters (In My Collection) "Black Hole Sun" by Soundgarden (In My Collection) "Basket Case" by Green Day (In My Collection)

Polka Power! from Running with Scissors (1999): (the beginning of the end of my time listening to the radio/watching MTV... seriously 1999 me was so bitter about how music was going to shit...)

"Wannabe" by the Spice Girls "Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger (In My Collection) "Ghetto Supastar (That Is What You Are)" by Pras featuring Ol' Dirty Bastard and Mýa "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" by the Backstreet Boys "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth (In My Collection) "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys (In My Collection) "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba (In My Collection) "Ray of Light" by Madonna (In My Collection) "Push" by Matchbox Twenty (In My Collection) "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind (I HATE THIS SONG AND I SAW THEM IN CONCERT AT ROCK FEST BEFORE THEY WERE BIG AND I WAS LIKE “WOW, THAT BAND SUCKED” THEN INEXPLICABLY THEY WERE SUDDENLY FAMOUS LIKE TWO MONTHS LATER) "The Dope Show" by Marilyn Manson (In My Collection) "MMMBop" by Hanson (I kinda wish I had some Hanson) "Sex and Candy" by Marcy Playground (In My Collection) "Closing Time" by Semisonic (In My Collection)

Angry White Boy Polka from Poodle Hat (2003) (I wasn’t listening much to the radio at this point, and some of these songs I’m pretty sure I heard a good while after they were in the Polka, I either don’t care about or don’t like most of these songs.):

"Last Resort" by Papa Roach "Chop Suey!" by System of a Down (In My Collection) "Get Free" by The Vines "Hate to Say I Told You So" by The Hives "Fell in Love with a Girl" by The White Stripes (In My Collection) "Last Nite" by The Strokes (In My Collection) "Down with the Sickness" by Disturbed (In My Collection) "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine "My Way" by Limp Bizkit "Outside" by Staind (In My Collection) "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock "Youth of the Nation" by P.O.D. "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem

Polkarama! from Straight Outta Lynwood (2006): (We’re at the point where unless I just randomly caught it on the radio or someone I knew played it, I was pretty over popular music and was digging through other musical interests)

"Let's Get It Started" by The Black Eyed Peas (I’m unsure on this one. I know I’ve heard some Black Eyed Peas in the past) "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand (In My Collection) "Beverly Hills" by Weezer (In My Collection) "Speed of Sound" by Coldplay "Float On" by Modest Mouse "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz featuring De La Soul  (In My Collection) "Don't Cha" by Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers (In My Collection) "Slither" by Velvet Revolver "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent featuring Olivia "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna (I feel like Umbrella is the only Rihanna song I’ve heard) "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx

Polka Face from Alpocalypse (2011):

“Poker Face” by Lady Gaga “Womanizer” by Britney Spears “Right Round” by Flo Rida ft. Ke$ha (the first time I heard this in the polka I thought Al was suddenly doing Dead or Alive) “Day 'n' Nite” by Kid Cudi “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum (In My Collection, weirdly enough) “Baby” by Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris “So What” by Pink (I’m surprised I don’t have more Pink) “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry “Fireflies” by Owl City (I know nothing about this band but the name sounds gothic, which probably means it’s pop) “Blame It” by Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain “Replay” by Iyaz “Down” by Jay Sean ft. Lil Wayne “Break Your Heart” by Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris “Tik Tok” by Kesha (she’s on the periphery on the sort of thing I’m into so I checked her out and determined I wasn’t feeling it)

Now That’s What I Call Polka! from Mandatory Fun (2014): (To say that at this point I’ve long since abandoned any way to check out music that isn’t a deliberate choice is almost an understatement but at the same time I’ve become a lot more musically opened minded in recent years AND I’ve been on tumblr which has made me more vaguely aware of stuff younger folks are into):

“Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus (checked out re: controversy iirc) “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People (In My Collection) “Best Song Ever” by One Direction (I legit was like, well hey maybe One Direction is surprisingly good since so many people on Tumblr love them... nope. Sounded like every boy band in the history of ever as far as I could tell.) “Gangnam Style” by Psy (Too heavily referenced everywhere to have not checked it out) “Call Me Maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen (see above re: references) “Scream & Shout” by will.i.am feat. Britney Spears “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye feat. Kimbra (I legit love this song because it sounds like Peter Gabriel, I checked out Gotye without having any idea he had a hit song though) “Timber” by Pitbull feat. Kesha “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz (Yeah, I’ve BEEN to the Value Village that has since closed on Capitol Hill in Seattle but I’ve never heard the song or seen the video in which it is featured... in fact I’ve never heard any Macklemore, despite Seattleite status) “Get Lucky” by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams

I think the polkas from recent years come out better than I thought, though I literally only have two songs in my collection from the last one so...

[grayembers]

I keep meaning to make a life update post for old friends here, but I wanted to wait until it was all good news instead of mixed, but I’m just gonna accept that won’t happen and update people anyway!

tl;dr I’m graduating with a master’s in computer science soon, job hunting sucks, theses suck don’t do grad school, I play a disgusting amount of Overwatch, and my cat is still super fluffy and great

Still together with Austin, and maybe going to visit him after I graduate. ouo  He’s a constant good presence in my life, and it’s really made me realize what healthy relationships are like lmao. Hindsight is 20/20. But yee he humors all my OT3 plotting and I get to listen to him geek out about musicals recently, it’s very cute. C:

I also have a great set of local friends here, although now I’m worried what’ll happen when I move away for a job. And one of them has been studying abroad this semester so I’ve barely seen her. But they’re all A+ people and we like to play board games and I’ve even dabbled in DnD with them.

We had a stray cat in the house for a few months last semester/into winter, but we finally found a foster group willing to take him in and look for a home even though he had FIV and is kinda old. He was definitely going to die if we hadn’t taken him in, even continued vet care and being indoors only couldn’t really cure his upper respiratory infection. My friend/housemate Michelle was pretty sad to see him go, he was kinda hers even though she knew she couldn’t realistically keep a cat right now. ;o;

I waste a lot of time playing games. Overwatch is my coping mechanism for depression, I hit level 600+ recently it’s pretty pathetic. I do some comp in mid plat, and I’ve actually made a nice set of friends to play with as well. One who happens to go to this same school (I guess we started playing together through friends of friends, but those middle links don’t play anymore) and some elsewhere. So I’m actually on Discord a lot for game reasons! And GrayEmbers#1544, happy to play with friends.

Ooh, I also bought Oxygen Not Included (and convinced Austin to) the other week, which is Klei’s new game - the company that did Don’t Starve. It’s in super early alpha so tons of bugs, but I’m excited to see it grow just like I did with Don’t Starve. So much future content, and I already like it as it is.

I’m trying to shift some of my time-wasting activities to drawing and writing instead of Overwatch. Especially when I find I’m just playing and not having fun. Drew a few things recently, and have had Ryker/Veronica/Christine AU fic in the works since February (and post shit regularly on the side blog), and I’ve really been enjoying renewed character activity with Austin’s newer courier and a friend of Silt’s! Nyl/Red Lucy is the real OTP. Also, I’ve almost convinced two irl friends to play FNV, they’re probly sick of hearing me talk about it lmfao. It’ll always have a special place in my heart.

School happens. Somehow I’m going to be allowed to graduate in a few months without contributing anything useful to the world. I feel like the only thing I really learned in grad school was how academia works, so as far as Computer Science goes, I wouldn’t recommend it unless your endgoal is research or academia. Don’t get me wrong, I took some neat classes and read some really cool research, but I’d already learned most of my hard skills from undergrad so. shrugs. My research I’m being paid to do this academic year involves taking technology into hiking or outdoor settings, and I’m focusing especially on the cultural aspects of it. For example, people react very differently to a person reading a book in nature versus looking at a phone screen in nature when in reality that person could be reading an e-book, they have no idea.

Things are kind of rough again mental health wise, but I dug this hole myself by procrastinating on my thesis which I now have to write in 1.5 months, so. I want to die a lot of the time but I don’t think that’s gonna happen. But if anyone is up for ramming me with their car going 60, hmu literally.

Jobs will probably happen?? I don’t have anything lined up yet and my interests pull me in like 10 directions, but I’m looking pretty seriously into UX design stuff and possibly contracting work in tech. Dream job is still to work with virtual reality and/or gesture interfaces, but that didn’t happen in grad school (partially my own fault partially shitty circumstances) so I don’t know if I have the right qualifications.

Can’t wait to move somewhere and have a job with set hours and get more pets and build a new computer because I can.  ;~;  (No idea where yet, I just know I don’t want to go any farther south because summer is the worst.)

My older brother is getting married in November, which’ll be my third wedding of the year lol. And my Dad and stepmom moved back to the states from China! They’re in Baltimore, I’ve gone to see them once already and probably will again on the tail end of a friend’s wedding. Their dog is super cute holy shit.

Okay now that I’ve lost 90% of readers, I also lowkey wanted to mention I had top surgery over winter break, which you might be able to tell from the two selfies above. If you happen to know me irl but hadn’t heard yet, please keep it to yourself. I still identify as female and use female pronouns, but I’m absolutely loving my new chest and so happy that I saved up for it. ;u; If you’re a mutual and wanna ask particulars or about the process or anything, feel free to message me privately.

Actually, I’ve been meaning to start exercising or something because there’s actually a chance now I can completely like my body shape lmfao. Stress eating is too real though

[malarkiness]

Saw The Rise of Skywalker, and I have thoughts about it.

Honestly? I didn't hate it. In fact, I'm kind of embracing it purely for the absolute disaster that it is. There were a few things that were bad enough to actually take away from my enjoyment of the movie, but overall, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. I think it helped that I watched Revenge of the Sith the night before seeing it. ROTS is a mess, but it’s a fun mess, and TROS isn’t all that different.

So with that said, I guess I'll start by talking about the stuff I liked:

Sheev Palpatine is an absolute delight in this movie. His addition to this story is so blatantly thoughtless and embarrassingly shoehorned, but every one of his scenes was just a joy to watch. I spent every second of his screentime trying not to laugh out loud in the theater. His scenes completely took me out of the third act's otherwise grim tone, and I'm so grateful for that because it made everything—including the forced r*ylo kiss—look like a total joke. I was dreading that moment, but once it happened, it was not only bearable, but completely forgettable thanks to Sheev Palpatine being extra as all hell. What a fucking hero. I'm sorry, I just... I genuinely cannot get upset about the asspull that is this character's presence in IX, lmao. I know he was only thrown in because Snoke was killed in VIII and the obligatory #Bendemption would mean forfeiting Kylo as the main villain, and we needed SOMEONE for Rey to fight. It was the result of inexcusably poor writing and planning, I get that. But Sheev truly took this movie from mediocre to so-bad-it's-good territory, and God bless him for it.

Finn remains my fav, but TLJ didn’t leave him with much to do in TROS. And his TLJ arc wasn’t bad, exactly, but it definitely could’ve been better. There was nothing about his Force sensitivity, nothing about his family, nothing about him being an ex-stormtrooper who could inspire more to turn against the First Order (something that could've developed very naturally from his conversations with Rose). You probably could’ve given that arc to any other character because so little about it was unique to Finn. But I think TROS did okay with how it continued that (generic) arc. Finn's actively working for the Resistance and even takes on a leadership role near the end. I kept waiting for there to be something alluding to his past as a stormtrooper aside from a couple of throwaway lines, and I was convinced that nothing would really come of that, but no! He ends up meeting another ex-stormtrooper named Jannah, and they have this nice conversation where Finn learns that there are a lot of other stormtroopers who defected. And... it almost seems like Jannah's already had the character arc that I wanted Finn to get, lmao. Like she's already in this little band of ex-stormtroopers helping the Resistance fight the First Order. I wish we learned more about her and her allies (like does Jannah help other stormtroopers escape? Maybe she purposefully traps them and then tries to help them deprogram themselves?). I'd totally be down for a Jannah spin-off series, tbh. But anyway, Finn doesn't have much of an arc in this movie; it's more like TROS just caps off his arcs from TFA and TLJ with him becoming a Resistance general and fully trusting in the Force (because Force-sensitive Finn is CANON 🎉🎉🎉). Again, it could’ve been better, but for what TLJ left him with, it’s fine.

I loved seeing Finn, Rey, and Poe work together. They have a great dynamic, with Rey and Poe always butting heads about the ship or BB-8 or who's leading the mission, and Finn tries to be the peacemaker between them. I loved their reunion hug at the end, too. But there is this odd running gag where Finn wants to tell Rey something when they all think they’re about to die, but doesn't want to say it in front of Poe later, and it just really sticks in Poe's craw. And we never even find out what Finn wanted to say. I mean, I like to think Finn was going to tell Rey that he loved her, but that's just me. 👀

Rey's character arc definitely has some problems, but there was also lot of stuff I liked. It was interesting to see her grapple with the reveal that she was a Palpatine and start to fear her own power and purpose. There's this great scene where she tells Finn that no one really understands her, and you know how afraid she is of what she could become, but it also hurts Finn to hear her say that. She eventually tries to isolate herself completely by running away to Luke's sad seagull island, but Luke's Force Ghost shows up and gives her this little pep talk that wouldn't ring so hollow if, y'know, TLJ had actually bothered to develop their relationship beyond Luke being afraid of her, but whatever. I also liked seeing her opt to heal the sandworm blocking the cavern's exit rather than kill it. She has this very natural chemistry with Finn and Poe through their treasure hunt. I also loved her interactions with Leia and their master/apprentice relationship.

Rose unfortunately has very little to do in this movie, but she does have a couple of nice moments with Finn that I really liked. One was when she says that something will happen if Finn & co. succeed in their mission, and he corrects her with “when.” I just thought it was sweet that her faith in the rebellion rubbed off on him, to the point that he uses it to encourage her, too. The other moment is near the end when she tells Finn they need to retreat, and then she hesitates when he says he’s staying behind. But instead of trying to stop him like in TLJ, she accepts his choice.

I can’t lie: seeing OT-era Luke and Leia spar with lightsabers got me. I’ve always loved their relationship, and I’m glad we got to see it in a flashback.

Call me petty, but I find it very satisfying that at no point in this entire trilogy does Anakin make any effort to contact Kylo. Not to advise him, admonish him, soothe him, or anything despite Kylo borderline praying to the guy at different points in this story. But once Rey starts faltering against Palpatine? Anakin finally wakes his Force Ghost ass up long enough to yell some encouragement to her. That is hilarious. Also, all the jedi calling out to Rey was just a great moment, period.

Hux's death is such a non-event, lmfao. He's outed as the mole, gets shot in the chest, and that's it. He's gone for the rest of the movie. It’s such a fitting ending for a character like him.

Kylo’s turn to the Light is... bad, but there is a nice bit of dialogue between him and his vision of Han where they echo their last conversation in TFA. I did like that.

I liked Zorii, and that she immediately takes a liking to Rey when they meet, lol.

I missed like half the shit going on in the post-battle celebration scene because I was watching the background for that one instance of two fourth-tier female characters kissing. Cheers, Jeffrey. 🎉

Rey choosing to carry on the Skywalker name was nice. Again, it would’ve meant more if she and Luke had had a better relationship in TLJ (and given how much closer she is to Leia, Rey Organa would’ve made more sense), but whatever, I’ll take it.

As for the stuff I didn’t like:

I think most of my gripes with this movie start with the #Bendemption that happens around the halfway point, so... I’ll just start with that. So Rey and Kylo are fighting on the ruins of the Death Star, Kylo starts gaining the upper hand, and Leia senses that her time has come to... help Rey? “Save” her son? I’m not sure, but whatever it is, she uses the Force to call out to Ben and distract him so that Rey can kill him, and it costs Leia her life. I’m actually okay with this little plot point because the way it’s framed makes it look like Leia sacrificed herself for Rey’s sake, not Kylo’s. I’m not sure if that was the intention, but that’s how it read to me. But then, Rey heals Kylo because... ???? I dunno, I guess the plot needs her to. And with that, I feel like we’re right back in TLJ, where Rey just does shit for the sake of Kylo’s character arc, her own thoughts/feelings/motivations be damned. There is a moment where she and Kylo are just sitting there taking in the shock of Leia’s death, and maybe if Kylo was shown to have some significant relationship with his mother (aside from opting not to kill her that one time), the scene would’ve had some emotional weight to it, but he wasn’t, so it doesn’t.

Kylo Ren is just a waste of a villain, honestly. TFA presents him as this petulant, overgrown child, and if it weren't for the fact that he's extremely powerful, most people would just laugh him off. He throws temper tantrums, wears that stupid mask in attempt to look more intimidating, Rey tells him to his face that he's just a pathetic Vader fanboy, Hux can barely keep himself from rolling his eyes when he's in the room. No one would take this clown seriously if their lives didn't depend on it, and this is a fact that he is clearly aware of, as evidenced by every instance of him doing something over-the-top evil whenever he feels the ~call to the Light a.k.a. whenever he feels weak.  I liked having that sort of villain in this trilogy, and honestly, you could keep all that and still have him helping the good guys in the end; he’d just need a compelling reason to switch sides, and TROS just doesn’t give him one. None of these movies did. There’s no moment of clarity for him about power and the Dark Side. His main motivation of “finishing what [Anakin] started” is never even brought up. Kylo just becomes Ben after Rey runs off, and that’s it. He’s Good now because the plot needs him to be.

The Knights of Ren sure were..... there.

Like I said above, the r*ylo kiss is nothing. Yes, it’s garbage that a male character can spend multiple movies killing and hurting a female character’s friends, torturing her, invading her privacy, yelling at her that she’s worthless outside her relationship to him, and still get to snog her in the end. But in the midst of all the coocoo clown shit going on in the third act of this movie, that moment barely pings my radar. And I’m sorry, but I have to complain about this again: Why couldn’t Rey have just been one of Luke’s students that survived the Jedi School massacre? That way, she’d have an actual relationship with pre-Kylo Ben and therefore a reason to believe he could change back. They could’ve been close, like family, which could’ve made for an interesting parallel to their Force bond in that it’s an undeniable connection they have that Rey doesn’t want. You could then have Rey decide to use their pre-established relationship against him, and it would’ve made her decision to go to him in TLJ a lot more understandable. It would’ve made her calling him “Ben” at the end of TROS have some actual weight to it because in this scenario, she actually knew him as Ben.  But no, I guess their forced connection in TLJ (which was contrived by Snoke, just for the record) is all the convincing Rey needs. Yeah, okay. I don’t know. TROS just makes it so apparent to me that Rey was originally intended to be a Skywalker, and they just threw in the Rey Palpatine twist because it’s 2019, and if your audience can follow the clues you set out for a plot development and draw logical conclusions, that means it’s predictable and therefore Bad.

Sheev Palpatine is a right dumbass. If he’d just shut up and let Rey kill him, he would’ve gotten what he wanted, but no! He had to explain to her his entire stupid plan, thereby giving her a very compelling reason NOT to kill him. And you know what, he did the same thing to Luke and Vader in Return of the Jedi. Luke attacked Vader and almost had him when Sheev cut in just to be like “YESSSS, DEWIT, KILL HIM.” And then Luke pulled back! Just let the heroes play into your hands, Sheev, fuck!!!!

TL;DR version: It’s... definitely a mess, but it’s not irredeemable. I think it’s worth watching just for the main trio’s moments and Sheev Palpatine hamming it up. I did think there were a lot of would-be emotional moments that just felt totally unearned (like Luke’s Force Ghost, Kylo’s vision of Han, Rey saying “Ben”), but there were others that were very effective (like the trio hug at the end, Finn sensing Rey’s death, Poe thinking about having to lead without Leia).

I think I liked it a little more than TLJ (which I didn’t hate, just found it very whelming), but TFA’s definitely going to stay my fav.

[twicehunted]

🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶(🚶) ok if u can only do one i understand LMFAO

Marissa von Drachenbeg -

"She was a dragon," Hunter said excitedly before he leaned forward, "She slapped me because I asked if it was possible to have sex with her when she was a dragon."  He shrugged and frowned, "Unfortunately, up to this day, I still don't know what that's like and I don't think I'm ever going to."

Hunter laughed at his own misery before he leaned back in the chair.  "Marissa was the type of woman who knew exactly what she wanted and exactly how to get what she wanted."  He looked up at the ceiling, staring straight at while he spoke, "We met at a bar and she walked right up to me. Everyone's eyes were on her as she did - that red dress hugged every part of her body, some parts even more tightly as she walked.  The attention had been on her and she knew it."  He closed his eyes, "Her hair frame her face but she would tuck it away as she spoke.  I remember her first words to me was: 'You're buying me a drink.' and I did exactly that.  I bought her a drink and the rest of the night disappeared."

He kept his eyes shut as he brought his hand up to rub his eyes.  As he dragged his hand from his eyes to his beard, he opened his eyes back up.  "That was a fun night, you know.  She knew exactly what to do and exactly how to do everything.  I mean, she's old as fuck so she better have known."  He laughed.

Hunter's smile came back on, "She moved out of Ceres, back to her family overseas.  She's the head of the family now, unfortunately.  She was very upset that she had to step up to the helm but she was also very distressed since someone overseas was hunting her family down."  Hunter's eyes narrowed momentarily as he shook his head, "I told her that if she needed help, I would help.  If she needed more help, I would ask people for help - I could put a request at The Gamble.  But she said no.

"She said this was a family matter and she needed to take care of it herseslf," Hunter nodded and took a breath, "I remember the night she left because I haven't seen her since.  She told me that we'd meet again, but that was almost ten years ago.  I honestly hope she's still doing okay.  She's a bad bitch, so I know she can handle that.  I hope she managed to get those bastards back and rule as the Queen that she is."

Dr. Jekyll -

"First of all," Hunter warned, "He's not a real doctor.  Second of all, Jekyll isn't even his real name.  You're going to find that there's a lot of people that I know but I don't know their real name.  This is Ceres Centropolis.  It's so big because it has so many secrets."  He laughed and then ended his laughter immediately, "But we're discussing Dr. Jekyll."

"Dr. Jekyll was supposed to be a doctor, a surgeon, I believe but he never finished.  This is why I said he's not a real doctor.  I ran into him at one of those homes.  Ironically, he was a mutant with super speed.  He was fucking fast," Hunter frowned, "He was fast and had the ability of a surgeon.  He would take people down and you wouldn't even know he cut you."  Hunter rubbed his arms as he remembered the fight they had.  If he wasn't able to heal as quickly as he did, he knew that he wouldn't have survived.  That idea made him shudder.  

"I think he was more twisted than some of the other doctors there.  They were just as scared of him as the children were," Hunter explained.  He was tall, dressed in all black except for his white dress shirt.  He wore a wide brimmed hat that made it hard to see the sadistic smiles he had whenever he attacked," Hunter frowned.  Dr. Jekyll was one of the people that he met that he honestly wished that he did.  Hunter bit his lip, "He had a kill count of over a thousand mutant children.  I hate this man."

Hunter kept quiet, frowing at the entire idea of this man.  His brows furrowed as his expression turned into a scowl, "I don't normally go out with an intention kill but he was someone that needed to be killed.  I don't believe that there's satisfaction in killing people but with him, there was.  That was a hard fight.  I lost so much blood that night, everyone did.  Some of my friends still have the scars from it but when we finally killed him, when he dropped that scaple and stopped breathing, we knew we did something right."  He paused, "People like him don't deserve a second chance."

Venna Laporlet -

"When I first met her, she said her name was Carly Pudding and I couldn't stop laughing.  She actually punched me in the face twice.  Twice," Hunter stressed the word twice and held his fingers out when he said this.  He shook his head and sighed, "Her real name was Venna.  Venna was tall, just about two inches shorter than me.  I couldn't take her seriously because she had her hair up in pig-tails and this awful pink dress full of red flowers."  He shrugged, "I don't know.  I couldn't take her seriously and then she punched me again!"

Hunter took a deep breath and shook his head, "I probably deserved it.  Venna wasn't a normal person though.  I don't know if she is.  She looks normal, even with her weird style.  Except," he pointed straight ahead, "She has three eyes."  He pointed right to the center of his forehead, tapping it as he said, "Her third eye is right smack in the middle of her forehead and it does not blink when her other eyes blink.  I couldn't stop staring at it.  I know it was rude, but man, I couldn't take my eyes off it."

Hunter shook his head, remembering the time he spent with her and instructed, "If you ever meet her, leave as soon as you can.  I made the mistake of following my curiosity for the weird and unusual and that was a mistake.  Venna's a two-faced bitch and I don't say that with good intentions.  She's a master of deciet and will find every way to con you out of everything.  She looks so sweet and innocent, but she's not.  She's a liar."

Hunter frowned, "Her third eye has special powers and let her cast some illusions or something.  I don't know but I was hypnotized for a good week before I realized how bad this was getting!  I almost married her under the hypnotism."  Hunter shook his head and frowned, "Luckily, she thought I was too poor for her and left.  The moment she and her three fucking eyes left, everything went back to normal and I wasn't hypnotized.  I don't know where the fuck Venna went but I hope she never returns.  Ever.  Period."

Empress Lily Valleria -

"She's not really an empress, but everyone calls her that," Hunter explained, "I mean, I can understand why.  She's a babe.  43, 30, 35 wer her measurements with legs for days," He closed his eyes, smiling at the memory of her, "Long black hair, the softest skin you could imagine and she wore clothes that barely counted as clothes."  He sighed happily.  "Yeah, Lily's a babe."

"We met on the ocean.  I don't remember why--oh yeah, I said I could swim across the ocean without stopping and I tried it.  Did not work.  Lily's ship picked me up," he explained, "It was an all female pirate crew.  All of them were hideous except for Lily and I was not allowed to tell them that they were hideous because every time I did, one of them bit me!  Oh, they were like Snake-women-pirate things."  He shurgged, "I don't know but they were terrifying except for Lily."

"I was only on the ship for 2 weeks and I don't think I'm ever going on water again," he shook his head, "But anyway, Lily was interesting.  I didn't really get to talk to her too much even though we spent a lot of time together."  He nodded, "Though there was one night where we had dinner on deck - she made her entire crew go downstairs while we did - and she said she wanted to be the Queen of the pirates.  I didn't know pirates were still a thing but whatever.  I said she could and she asked me to stay on the ship."  He shrugged, "I did the only sane thing.  I jumped off and swam back to Ceres."

Wano -

"WANO!" Hunter said excitedly as he jumped out of his chair and struck a pose with both hands in the air and one leg up.  "WANO!"  He kicked forward and the started laughing before he sat back down, "Wano is a polar bear that can talk.  He wears an orange jumpsuit and always looks like he wants to eat your face off.  I love Wano."  He hugged himself at the memory of Wano before he laughed at him.

"So, I met him I forgot where but I hugged him the first time that I met him and I insisted that he come back to Ceres with me so I could introduce him to Gray and the rest of the gang," He laughed, "They would have found him hilarious.  Dude, he's a fucking polar bear that can talk.  A talking fucking polar bear with an orange jumpsuit!  An orange one!!"  He laughed at the memory and then sighed, "I love Wano.

"You see, Wano was originally a regular polar bear.  Some scientist experimented on him until he learned to talk and act human.  Little did they know that Wano would become such a good person?  Good bear?  I don't know but I love Wano.  He looks grumpy and mean but he's the sweetest, most cuddly bear ever.  Period."

Bobby Frank -

"Bobby Frank is a menace," Hunter pointed out angrily, "He's this large, muscular man that's even taller than Gray.  He has dark hair in two ponytails that he has slung over his shoulders.  And then his beard?  He keeps that shit in two pig tails too.  Like what the fuck?  That's not normal.  He's not normal.  What the fuck is he?  Then, he has this really ugly swirly tattoo down his neck and right shoulder because he said 'It's to show how much cooler I am than you are'."  Hunter rolled his eyes, "I hate this guy.  He's awful and gross.  He said I was an ugly motherfucker and that Gray was too.  I was so mad.  How can you say that about Gray?"

Hunter shook his head, "Anyway, that asshole was some assassin sent after The Huntsman.  Like someone like him could actually kill The Huntsman."  He laughed, "The fight against him was so easy.  He was slow, he was stupid and didn't know how to fight at all.  He was a wannabe merc with no experience."  He shook his head, "Bobby Frank has a long way to go before he thinks that he can take down The Huntsman.  Trust me."

He leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs.  Then uncrossed them and leaned forward, "If you're hiring Bobby Frank as your merc, you better try and get your money back.  That dick talks a big game and can probably take down lesser mercs, but if you're fucking sending him to fight The Huntsman, get your god damned money back."

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 11 - "The Time has Come to Slay the Beast" - Duncan

OWEN

fuck you jay have ur damn confession

-

In other news, I did not too bad on the immunity and then realized that if I win a third in a row I'm going to be the biggest target which was literally the opposite of the strategy I was going for so hopefully someone did it in less than seven. My strategy was good tho I'm pissed like it is literally not in me to not try/throw a comp and it's not good news but like I just WANTED TO DO WELL OK THIS COMPETITION WAS FUN DFSAJKNHFJDSKHFSKJADFH I'M CRYING Anyways! It's final nine and this is the round to make a move, I think. Sam really pissed me off last round being all wishy washy and non-committal. People like Ryan blame Trevor for being controlling but it's literally what Sam wants. Sam wants to be "told" what to do, or to not have an opinion, so he doesn't seem like the leader he is but like... It's so obvious to see through. He acts like he doesn't know what's going on or what other people think, but he does. Take an acting class, betch! I don't know if it's smarter to go for Sam or Ali or JD. I guess like... Sam: Pros, he's the biggest threat of the three and he has an idol and he personally acts like an idiot even though I really wanted to work with him he gives me NOTHING and I want revenge! Damn! The con would be that...he has an  idol and he's always paranoid af and he'll probably play it. Another con is that his minions Ali/JD can be easily swayed without him, and someone could scoop them tf up. Ali: Pros, Sam has mentioned needing to get Ali out although idk if it was a lie or not. He's got the best social connections out of everyone and people genuinely want him to win. Cons, he's arguably more loyal than Sam and he's a lot less frustrating to talk to and I like him. Also leaving Sam in the game with an idol after taking out his ally is not a good. JD: Pros, she's the least likely to be expected as a target, she like....is so naive in terms of trying to save Ryan last round and then telling Trevor "oh you're the leader" like, girl bye. Cons, Ali/Sam could still be in the game as a tight duo, and also she seems the easiest to beat in the end of the three.... Idk! I don't know. It also depends on what I can get Logan/Duncan/Lydia/Trevor to agree on, if anything. And also like... immunity results will matter. And Sam's idol. And then like idk what Ryan is gonna do! So! We! Will! See! I! Guess!!!!!! Also Ryan messaged me this morning and like I do want to work with Ryan still but I'm worried that he views me as tight with Trevor and if I say anything to him or give him any info he can use it to turn others against Trevor and I so dskjafhadsjf idk what to do about that but we'll see if he messages me again huh!

DUNCAN

noh wow! Oh Wow!! OH WOW!!! 

An alliance called "oh wow!" Just was made between Owen Logan and I, which is good bc I need two of the people I'm closest to to have some type of trust with each other and not come after each other's necks. In other news I crackt the code in mastermind in 5 guesses!! I'm very happy and proud of my score even if I don't win immunity, but it would be a good confidence booster tbh. And one last thing. Whoever told RTP I was leading a charge against him, you better watch your back because I'm saltier than a tortilla chip. I hope they have their boxing gloves on, bc I'm ready to swinG

JD

I'm not going to lie, I'm really frustrated.  The touchy subjects really did bother me because me and Ali are both playing this game, we might not be the ones calling all the shots that that doesn't mean we aren't in the conversations. I get were people would say it and I see how it was the easy way to do it, the newbies are getting pulled along. That's fine, cheers. AliWelp, skype killed the hype, and potentially my game. Lydia had proposed this amazing big move for tonight, but I'm scared these tech issues might ruin it. Like... ughhh such a shame. Anywho, on a positive note, I made Final 9! :) Outlasting, 13 people already is phenomenal, so that's amazing! I'm ready to go for broke now. Ideally, I want Trevor,Owen,Sam and Ryan out as the next four boots, as the four biggest threat for the end. My dream F3 is JD and Logan, with Duncan as a possible alternative, and Lydia as a 4th choice. They're the people I think I have the biggest chance of hopefully beating. Lydia is dangerous though, so I don't want her going too far...

RYAN

[7:36:08 PM] Ryan Palmer: i mean we don't really have another choice lmfao [7:36:19 PM] Ali: yeah, we're kinda limited for options eek Gee....limited for options against that alliance....gee....its almost as if....SOMEONE COULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS FOR 2 ROUNDS....if only ppl like matt or david who would have voted with us were here....i seriously cant with these ppl....i literally told everyone if they were gonna wait it was gonna be too late....fuck

JD

Rob getting into the jury, I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think Rob was really happy with us when he got voted out. 

LOGAN

Sorry I'm late on confessionals :( Anyway! Owen made an alliance chat with me, himself, and Duncan, which I'm happy with. Ali pitched the idea to me to have an alliance with Lydia, myself, JD and Ali. That sounds workable, and suddenly I see the ground beneath my feet in this game. I need to work out how to get to the end from here - I still do not have a solid f2, which worries me. I could go for a f3 with Owen and Duncan and play the middle of those two, but Trevor is? Talking to me? Wild. I guilt tripped Ali so badly last round because he told me the vote was for David and *insisted* that, and I nearly voted for David, but thanks to Duncan... whew. Saved that. But now Ali feels super guilty. Ethos, logos, pathos? Using them all, but pathos was my friend then. Good use of pathos, actually. My english teacher wishes. David is gone now anyway, which I feel sorta bad about, all the boys in this game are super cute and too pretty to be getting early boots. I do trust Duncan, but I'm not 100% how much. At least we aren't viewed as a duo. But he said it himself, we were two people brought together by unfortunate circumstances, and in my experience, that never works out. But I'll stick with you, for now. We'll see. At this point, I can't win this game. I maybe could get fifth? Maybe. If I really work it. My UTR game won't cut it, I really need to be MOR, or else I'm getting the block. Time to show my value to people, or become fifth juror - one of the two. 

OWEN

I think as of right now the ideal final three for me would be myself, Logan and Lydia. Getting there though with that specific group is...not necessarily the easiest thing. Especially because I've basically sworn not to screw over Trevor or Duncan. And I don't really want to have to put either of their names down, but I know they're bigger threats than I am. Maybe I could beat them in the end... But do I really want to beat Trevor and have him lose in the finals a third time? I want Trevor to do well and I want to see him win. But I want to win too! So I'm at a bit of a conflict here. Ideally, Sam/JD/Ali go now and probably another one of them goes next. Maybe it could be like... Sam and JD or Sam and Ali. Then at final seven I think it would be good for me if Trevor left. It'd have to be at seven because that way, Trevor/myself/Lydia could vote one way and then Duncan/Logan/Ryan/Thing 1 or 2 (whichever is left) could vote Trevor. Then at a final six, maybe the other Thing (Ali or JD) goes. Final five would have to be Duncan. And the final four would be me, Ryan, Lydia and Logan? Then Ryan goes fourth? Maybe? That's one way to get there but that counts on a lot of things going right with immunity and idols and also that counts on me being very aware of Trevor and Duncan both leaving and potentially having a hand in that and that's....not good! NOT GOOD. ugshfsdfsd

OWEN

SOOOO! JD won immunity which limits my options to Ali and Sam I guess. But I did have a plan. Trevor mentioned that Sam told him that Ali has to go eventually. So my thought is that Trevor tells Sam that it's time to do Ali. And so Sam thinks we are voting Ali, he knows the votes will be me Trevor Logan Lydia and Duncan against Ali. And that way like maybe there's a chance he just votes Ali Idk!!! But then in reality the five of us vote for Sam. That way the idol is gone, guaranteed. He either plays it on Ali and leaves or he votes for Ali and keeps his idol. The only problem is if he doesn't believe us and plays it on himself instead, which makes me think maybe like.... idk maybe Logan uses the extra vote they supposedly have and we split the vote somehow. I guess that plan would depend on what ryan is doing. And I wouldn't want to tell ryan the plan in case he still goes for Trevor. Idk!!!! I guess we could also make it seem like we are going for Sam and vote Ali instead but I think it's more realistic to do the other plan since sam has expressed interest in voting out Ali anyways??? It's hard calling shots because I'm not immune this time, but Trevor does still have an idol as well so maybe he could play it just in case. Idk!!! We will see

JD

I won immunity! I'm so excited right now, those puzzle skills my preschool teacher was talking about finally paid off! *happy dance* 

SAM

HEY! I CAN'T WAIT TO GET RIGGED OUT OF THE GAME. oooooh hosts you really had to do that huh I would be beyond stupid to not think that I was the target of the other side this round--people know that I'm close with Trevor, but I am willing to drop him at any time. So this round, even though I knew I was in some hot water, I was like "oh, I have Trevor's idol in my possession, and I have one that he's willing to play on me. I'm like a poached egg not fully hard boiled--I'll be fine." THEN OH THEN Duncan steals Ali's ability to go to the Labyrinth and YOU KNOW HWAT HE FUCKIN FINDS?????? HE FINDS A DAMN ADVANTAGE THAT ALLOWS FOR ME TO NOT VOTE AND MAYBE SUPPOSEDLY NOT HAVE ANY ITEMS PLAYED ON ME????? FUCK THIS????? the worst part is that I don't know what I'm up against! because owen isn't being forthcoming to trevor! so i don't know if trevor can play an idol on me at all or if i can't play an idol just on myself but I know I can't vote! so i need to give an extra vote to someone who will vote on my side!!!!! i hate!!!!! this!!!!!! so now i actually have to scrape for literally everything while other bitches don't even have to lift a finger!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!! hosts if i go out tonight i love you BUT this is a shitty way to go that i don't really have control over!! call me malcolm binch!

-

sorry for all my yelling like i just thought this one was meant to be. i was ready!!!!

OWEN

So the plan is pretty much set in motion. I think Logan and Duncan are on board to vote Sam. AAAADN duncan apparently found a power to cancel sams idol???? Which would be???? Greater than Frosted Flakes. But this just makes it extra clear that's Sam CANT KNOW anything is going on. Which is where I might've messed up. Trevor said he would talk to Sam but I got the feeling he wasn't really doing it and I told him about Duncan's power oop and he was sketched out by Duncan, as he is. Cue the argument about whether or not Sam should go!!!! Yay!!!! So I've basically just gotta convince Trevor to do it. And to keep his mouth shut. And he's....impulsive. I don't think he will. The good thing is he's coming here tonight!!!!! So if I need to I think I can convince him in person. I just have to hope by then it's not too late :( I'm not afraid to flirt my way to Trevor's brain to try to get him to follow through with this. All is fair in love and war.

OWEN

talked to sam and he's high key paranoid what a surprise I brought up doing Ali....screams. He said no, pretty much, and mentioned doing Trevor instead which to me seems sketch cause idk why he would suggest that so easily to me of all people. He wasn't being very clear, like usual. I basically told him to wait until final seven SHSKDJDJJD to do Trevor and Idk he said he wasn't seeing the picture and so when I asked him like... what the picture is what he thought the next few votes would be he said he didn't think that far cause he's not there yet. My bullshit radar is goin off!!!!!! :~) I'm not sure what the convo meant. It's the first time he truly wanted to talk to me. But he did bring up just going for Logan so idk. We agreed to talk again in a little bit. And Trevor will be here in person soon. And I just need this all to work out because i think if it doesn't then I'm toast Know this tho if Trevor ruins this for me then I'm not holding back anymore!!!!!!!!!! I'll help him pack his bags!!!! 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/JyDLok_-pDI

JD

So this vote is going to be reealllly messy I think. So far as I know: Owen and Duncan want to vote out Sam, Trevor doesn't wanna do that because ovbs, Sam gave him the idol and he feels like Sam will probs be usefully (sorry for the bad abbreviation, Im just lazy right now). From what I've heard Trevor wants to vote Duncan now though because he, I'm guessing, wants to break up him and Owen. WHY the fuck are you not voting OWEN!? I've run the idea by Ali and I want to get Trevor to play the idol for ether Ali or Sam cus, why not~ get the idol out of Trevors hands and if we can get the idol played on someone other then Owen then why not vote for Owen? It pisses me off the Trevor doesn't want to talk to me, I mean, okay your with your boyfriend who is in the game but if he asked it's not hard to lie and say I'm freaking out over thinking and Trevor is chilling me out. I mean, I'm 100% on thinking that Owen thinks of me as the goat so he'd believe it. My plan would be so vote Owen. Right now the majority is split on Owen and Trevors side. Owens: Owen, Duncan, maybe Logan = voting Sam or Ali, we've heard Ali as a second or a 'go vote this one' to get some throw away votes. Trevor: Trevor, me, Ali, Lydia, Sam, Ryan = voting for Duncan to break up Owen and Duncan? My plan is a three way split for Sam, Owen and Duncan, then on the revote we vote our Duncan (sorry hostys Im sure ties suck) but really I just want to fuck up the votes and vote Owen. Hoping that Trevor will use his idol on Sam, assuming he cant use it on himself... I guess we'll see. 

OWEN

So!!!! Of course Trevor gets here and tells me that they're all voting for Duncan!!!! Lol!!!!!!! He wasn't even gonna tell me except it was more convenient for him since we were about to be together for 48 hours. Anyways. Thanks for lying all day and then planning on leaving me out to dry ;~) looks like I won't have any trouble lying to you from now on huh!!!!!!! Anyways, I immediately got to work convincing him to do Sam instead, and then we called Lydia finally and talked to her about it. Except Trevor also told everyone all of this SHIT and I'm so mad I literally like. At least he bought me chipotle. Anyways!!!! Lydia was planning on telling Ryan to vote Sam and also they all think that Duncan's rags make it so that Sam can't have any idols played on him even from other players. Idk it's messy and i just want to sleep. I'm hoping I convinced them to switch their votes. Sam needs to go now that he knows I was after him. Also lol it's funny cause I asked Trevor as soon as he walked in if He told Sam to message me lmao I knew it was fishy af Idk it's all fishy. Why does Trevor feel the NEED to ruin!!!!! Djdjdjdjd Jesus. Also surprise he's not giving me the idol. Or playing it on me. I hope it bites him in the ass when people like duncan and ryan really do wanna vote him out and I'm not there to cover his ass. Literally DJDJDJD fuck all this At this point I'm just hoping it's not me. Idk if it would be. I've worked too hard today for it to be me, tbh. But really? Damn

-

this game gave me acne and soiled my crops

JD

So I might have tried strong arming Trevor into this split by saying that Sam is easily dropped if the vote goes wrong. I don't think that he liked that cus not hes talking to Ryan about voting Sam. Which I don't get but it would mess up the split. 

ALI

This vote has just aged me! Sam is maybe going, which sucks. Duncan is a liar, Logan is lying to me. Sam gave me his extra vote though, so hopefully TLJoA can vote togethed next time, as a majority. Samit was a good run, folks

DUNCAN

Heyyyy! Umm idk if this will be my last confessional or not until allstars but here we go. The time has come to slay the beast. It's time to make a move. It's time to take down sam.in short. I was allegedly the original target of rtp plus the unholy trinity, and Lydia and Trevor were on board. Then Owen talked to them and convinced them to vote Samuel only because I had my handy rags. It was a conditional agreement. But umm hopefully no one else will play an idol on sam, and hopefully everyone who is telling me they're voting sam is telling the truth. The thing is, if I get voted out tonight it's okay. I didn't come here to make it to the end and win. This is a move I need to make to help me win. So if I'm going down, I can say I did what I said I set out here to do when I applied. I came to win, not to be a coward