#lmfao idk i'm just trying to make it easy to find for myself

[astrxealis]

damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho

[bonesandthebees]

I keep doomscrolling twt I should really delete it again I think it is frying my brain ohmygod

It's just so easy to get sucked in and I don't know what else to do w this restless energy and just like. Anger and sadness that this situation is giving me

Normally I'm way better at just. Turning my phone off. But I think I'm just so hurt? By everything that I just keep getting sucked in by other people's anger too and I'm like. Never angry LMFAO I am never angry so idk what to do with these emotions if that makes sense

I also don't want to delete twt rn bc I'm like. So scared of new info coming out wout me knowing LMFAO even tho ik my friends will tell me but I just wanna be up to date so hhhh but yeah maybe I will. Just delete. So I don't doom spiral LMAO

no literally I spent practically the entire day just flipping between tumblr and twitter tumblr and twitter tumblr and twitter and quite literally felt my brain being fried

I had that same restless energy so I made myself sign up for a yoga class and went to it and honestly that helped so much. didn't look at my phone for an hour and just focused on my body and my breathing. I felt so much more relaxed afterwards. obviously not everyone can just go to a yoga class but I recommend finding something else to do. make yourself drive somewhere, or throw your phone across the room, or shut your phone off completely, just anything to try and get you out of it for a bit. honestly deleting twitter sounds like a great idea. I get the fear but it might be better to just bite the bullet to get yourself out of the loop

it's okay to be angry and upset right now we all are, but it's also so easy to get sucked into everyone else's anger as well. it creates this neverending feedback loop where you get angry and everyone else is angry and seeing them angry makes you more angry and just- it's not good

take care of yourself icy <33

[loquarocoeur]

Hey lovely! I’m back w another anon, at this point I’ll put an emoji so you know it’s the same person saying hi bc I’m not sending this on my blog name but ashshsjsh.

The asks and your responses on the spanking shit have me wanting to send this ask that I’ve been thinking about, but like. After the end of ‘pushing buttons’ I rlly enjoyed the bit where charles was almost insecure, and max responded the way he did so beautifully about how he loves charles the most bc he’s charles and what about it him he finds so loving and hot and how he was mentioning Charles’s pleasure too and that just. Really made me want to have a fic perhaps on the doms pleasure a bit. Not entirely but if you’d want to I’d love for you to get into charles head and thoughts a bit. It’s hard to explain what I mean because I’m being vague bc I’m embarrassed enough typing this as is lmfao but I hope you kinda get what I mean here? How you were talking about charles headspace in the other ask and everything I just got very Inchrested

I just love this verse and the way you write and maybe I die everytime I see another blog post of yours about some smutty shit! Maybe!

- 🦢 (I’ll make myself the swan emoji anon bc why the fuck not. Hi it’s me I sent the asks like max speaking Italian for maybe one line perfectly and made the suggestion about the ‘monza fic having the hotel tifosi chanting. Idk I just wanted to lyk it was me ahahshsjjs)

Okay hi, hello, I'm here with my thoughts now and absolutely YES, prepare for an essay:

Like idk, I've been meaning and trying to get into Charles' head a bit more since forever, but it is just quite hard nailing him down, he's just a very complex character nowadays with that duality between his 'dom persona' I guess and then absolute golden retriever, head over heels, bend over backwards, and jump when Max says jump sweetheart he is outside of that headspace

It's just there's just so many things from Charles' perspective to think of, you know, specifically talking about sex scenes now:

Like, okay, first of all, he's just a man, Max barely needs to take off his shirt. Like he's absolutely insatiable, he goes insane for a glimpse of Max's stomach, the only time he won't even try to start anything in the shower is if he got an orgasm five minutes ago, so obviously there's the aspect that he just thinks Max is fucking hot, just looking at Max does it for him, and also men are men, it feels good getting their dicks wet I guess

But then there's also obviously the thing that we don't talk about enough in fandom and that's that doms like being dominant just as much as subs like being submissive

And you know it's hard to nail it down and elucidate it, because we don't have enough examples for it, because (and this is also totally fine of course) fandom is just usually very focused on the perspective of more submissive people for probably many reasons which we won't get into rn, but the point is like you have to make this shit up as you go, there's not a script and an easy how-to like there is for writing submissive perspectives because we've all read thousands of those of course

Because like obviously Max technically has as much if not more control over the situation as Charles does with safewords and all, but Charles obviously LIKES being or feeling in control

There's kind of this underlying societal belief that we often get where it's just perceived as inherently bad when someone wants or likes to be in control or in a position of power, which is why I feel we hear the dom perspective waaay less than the sub one, because ironically, the doms are too shy to speak up I guess lol

But you know Charles obviously likes that he can tell Max what to do and he does it, he likes how Max, just as a person, is quite dominant in the way he behaves, he's not a follower, when someone says sit down Max asks why, and he's no different with Charles when they're just them and there's no dom/subness going on, but he likes how when they're in that space and Charles says sit down Max sits the fuck down

And then I think the thing I always emphasized most is how Charles just gets off on seeing Max feel good, like he gets off on making Max feel so good he loses all function, and that comes back to Charles having just as much of a praise kink as Max, but he doesn't need Max to tell him he's doing good, he needs to see it

And then it's just how do I fit all this in and consolidate it with the way that of course, Charles is far from quiet or reserved during sex, he won't shut up actually, but there's these times when, from Max's perspective, you have no idea what's going on in his head, because he has this talent for just turning his face blank

And don't think I as the author somehow know any more than you do when it comes to Max's perspective like guys idk either, I was just there

But yes, I do hope to elaborate on it a bit more in the future🥰❤️❤️❤️

[thxta]

I always feel like I'm getting closer and closer to shifting to my Desired Reality, every single day. Either I find new affirmations to say / think during the day or while I'm getting sleepy ( to implement into my subconscious as a subliminal ), or I channel new aspects and information about my DR. I've been wanting to channel what my DR bedroom / home looks like, but I think for that, I'll just try making it in the Sims.

A few new affirmations that I've learned are; "I am grateful that I have shifted", "shifting is easy for me" & "excitement grounds me".

I feel like the last one is genius, because I know a lot of people struggle with suddenly shifting back to their CR, even after they've successfully shifted. They seem to only shift for a few minutes because they got too excited or scared.

so, I have 2 DR's. My main DR is my Whovian / Time Lord DR, and my second is my Harry Potter / Wizarding World / Hogwarts Legacy DR.

I have a feeling that once I start really trying to focus on my Hogwarts DR, I'll suddenly just end up shifting to my Time Lord DR instead, lmfao. It's just… a feeling that I have.

I've also been having a lot of amazing dreams lately. I even had a dream that I shifted to another reality, but it wasn't either of my DR's. It was like an alternate reality of my CR. I even felt the weird spinning symptom, and then tried to ground myself immediately. Weird, how sometimes you can actually feel sensation in dreams, but still know that it's a dream, later on. I have a feeling that that dream was actually preparing me for shifting.

Idk. I just felt like rambling about my shifting journey. Also because Theta is a huge part of it. Every day, I feel myself getting closer to him, and our TARDIS.

It's… so amazing.

♥ ♥

[ofmermaidstories]

hey!! so i'm rereading something just like this right now to prepare for reading the new chapter and i was just wondering if you've ever thought about making a traditionally published book?? of course fan fiction is a legitimate form of artistry and i don't ask this to demean your work AT ALL but ur writing style is so elegant and descriptive while being easy to digest and i think that you would make and absolute killing in the industry if u ever did decide to write a traditionally published book

anyways feel free to disregard this ask if it's something you've already answered before or don't feel the urge to answer!! i love all of your work and am waiting patiently yet intensely for more!! thanks for everything that you do<3

Hello!!! You are very sweet to say so, Anon, lmao. I would love to make a killing in the industry. 😌 Some monies for fancy manicures and iced lattes and other lil treats. 😌

I actually have thought about trying my luck pursuing traditional publishing! I mean—I have a finished manuscript, LMFAO. It’s the first in a duology! It needs editing (rewriting, really), because I finished it in like, February 2020 and then proceeded to get distracted by the lockdown and the terrible decision to download tiktok (which opened my eyes to BNHA and self-insert fanfic), but it’s done. 📖

It’s Young Adult, because I am always writing for the teenager I was, and is multi-POV’d between our three leads (a grump of boy and the two girls that now have to protect him) and involves them causing wilful damage, in order, to some downtown traffic, the school grounds (multiple times), a grocery store and lastly each other’s (and their own) feelings. 🥹

For a long time I lived in this story, like I do now with my fics—talking to everyone about it, making it everyone else’s problem, fretting over plot choices, etc etc. Taking it from a tentative idea to a outline to finally finishing the first draft was the first time I’d ever completed one of my stories. 🥺 I’ve drawn the main characters over and over again, made them playlists, dedicated notebooks to the story and it’s world—I believe in it fully and absolutely, not because I think it’s anything groundbreaking, but because it’s exactly the kind of story 16-year-old me would’ve curled around and used to daydream with. 🥺

But idk. I’m not very ambitious by nature, lmfao, and you have to be in order to jump through the hoops you need to when it comes to traditional publishing. If there was a way to protect my lil story and still share it freely, without worrying about someone stealing it and sending it to a publisher with their own name slapped over the top, then I would. 🥹 I’ve always liked telling stories. Verbally, to the younger kids in the neighbourhood. In a school notebook that I made my friends read. On roleplaying forums. Uquiz! I’d love to be able to walk into a bookstore and find my book and be like “hehehe that’s mine >:)” but if it never panned out for whatever reason (not finding an agent, for example, or a interested publisher) then—oh well! I did my job; the story got told, even if it was only to me. 📝🌷

Either way, tbh we have more important things to worry about—a traditionally published book is a far-off, future maybe dependant on other people that might never happen. Finishing the Deku fic, on the other hand? It’s right here, right now, and is something I can do by myself. 😌 I will work hard on giving it the end it and u deserve, Anon. 😌 Thank-you for being here. 💖🌷🪻🌾

[just-jordie-things]

i dont know if you were asked this before, sorry if i am bothering you! Do you have any writing tips? I don't have anything specific but just any in general. I really admire your work!

you're so sweet!! i feel like i'm the last person who should be giving writing advice as i just blindly go into a brainrot induced stupor and spout off into docs as if i'm screaming into the void-- i have been asked this before but it's no trouble to copy it!! <3

a biggie take your time finding your style- as you can see on my masterlist i have a looot of shit on there from years of writing fanfic and experimenting. getting out of my comfort zone can be kinda hard for me personally, but with writing it was so worth it bc you can really see a metamorphosis there of when i was writing just to write and when i was writing with a drive.

don’t be afraid to ignore the rules of grammar. run on sentences are beautiful. i’ve found that especially so when the plot is driven by someone’s stream of consciousness as though they’re narrating it. thoughts are messy, they’re long and sometimes awkward and there’s no such thing as grammar in your mind !! of course spelling and punctuation are important and i’d recommend editing tho (idk her 😳) but get creative with it!!

thesaurus.com is my bestie 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 i often find myself using a lot of the same words and i don’t want to bore readers with repetitiveness! and also it’s just an easy way to expand my vocabulary too. (in person i stammer and have the reach of a fourth grader lmfao so i always want my writing to be concise and make the reader feel exactly what i want them to with my language)

also something i’ve started doing recently !! when i’m away from my wip and daydream about it, i write it down right away! in my notes app or on sticky notes or even my hand hehe. sure if it’s a significant enough plot point i’ll probably remember… but there’s no time like the present!! i want A to look at B a little differently in that one quick scene? i want to make them eat something different for foreshadowing? little details like that can be huge in your writing !! something a reader might gloss over but then realize later it was all a part of a greater scheme?? yes. so take note of those thoughts and daydreams you have !! even if you don’t end up adding it to your work, it’s better than having a profound, fic changing idea that you forget before you get the chance to write it!

this one is simple but a biggie- think about what you would want to read. i’ve been trying to keep this in mind as of late, especially when writing longer pieces where i want to make y’all suffer. find new ways to build the tension in your plot. give us different points of view, give us an untrustworthy narrator that thinks they’ve got it all figured out. throw in extra conflict. fanfiction is the melting pot of whatever the fuck you want !! so go stupid go crazy and make it something you love, and you should be good to go!! not to be cheesy but as long as you love it then you’re solid. doing something you love over and over will naturally lead you through growth and finding your style. don’t be wrapped up in notes right away (yes it can be a bit of an issue on this app- but none of has have control over how people enjoy your work- so you might as well focus on enjoying it for yourself) because as long as you’re doing something you’re passionate about and sharing it with us, more people will soon flock to enjoy it with you <3

lastly i just enjoy making mini playlists for whatever i’m currently working on. they don’t have to correlate completely with your plot. sometimes the sound of a beat is good enough for me to throw it on. if it gets me excited and planning out scenes i haven’t gotten to yet then it’s good enough for me!! i will listen to the same song on repeat in the name of ✨vibes✨ even if the words themselves have nothing to do with the plot i’m writing. that’s probably lazy basic advice but it works well for me and i love listening to music so !!

hopefully the copying of a previous ask isn't annoying and ya find this helpful! just my thoughts and processes tho, you gotta find a style that's best for you! and remember its a hobby. if you get stressed take a break and come back later! you're on your own schedule, and you don't owe anyone anything, so just have fun!

[fearevillikefire]

Ate taco bell earlier for the first time in years... oh my god that shit is literal trash 😭 i feel like killing myself it was so bad

im ngl i have a problem with food where even if i don't like something or im not hungry i feel like i HAVE to finish what's in front of me... i have finished plates of shit while trying not to gag because i hated the food so much... so please understand how bad that shit had to be to make me quit halfway through

but anyways regarding my issue with food, that also makes me overeat way too often... which is why i'm overweight.. thankfully i don't have issues with STARTING to eat while im not hungry, but once i'm eating what's in front of me i don't stop... and it's not easy for me to prevent that.. i've been trying to lose 7 pounds for the past year so that i can reach a healthy weight & i still haven't done it 😭 i lost 10 lbs for good, but it was just weight i put on during covid when i wasn't exercising and was just in the house doing nothing and eating too much as a result... 😭 i want to be a healthy weight it's just hardd i need to exercise more and eat less but it's just difficult to control myself and have discipline when im doing other shit and putting all my energy into that... sigh at least i'm not obese or anything but i hate being overweight at all, it really bothers me because i care about my health, and i also feel that it makes me look a lot less attractive than i would otherwise...

lol people on the internet are always hyping up being fat way too much, i want to be fit and healthy and i think that's attractive, i don't think that being weak and slow is attractive in any way.. not hating on fat, weak, or slow people or saying i could not be attracted to them but i find being fit hot like the vast majority of people, maybe cause i have zero fat fetish lmfao, for some reason it seems like you're always 1 misclick away from fat fetish or trans fetish on your dashboard on this website... don't even get me started on the trans fetish that shit makes me barf...

i feel like it's mostly fat and trans people making these fetishizing posts because they'll talk about themselves the same way but it's not ok to talk about anybody like that or to make being fat or transgender this inherently sexualized thing with all these weird stereotypes and gross stuff applied... i really hate it. i think that some people do it to cope but i still hate it it's obviously not healthy and definitely not productive to society...

like it's obviously ok to have sexual fantasies and stuff but idk. i'm not trying to shame horniness or say it has no place in society. But fetishes only warp people's perspectives on normal shit, and sometimes it seems like they can't separate their horny worldview from reality. That's what I'm complaining about, this overly horny, warped perspective applied to normal reality and affecting people's ideas and interactions with normal people, i hate that.

[loustyles]

hi! could you explain how you got the text like that in the two ghosts edit? i treid with text warp and i cant get it to work the same :/ and with multiple lines? thank you sorry to bother!

no problem! I’ve never tried to explain how I do things before so feel free to ask for clarification on anything!! I’m using cc 2019 so things might be slightly different for you depending on your version of ps but it should be pretty similar.(original post anon is talking about here)

the words I’m using are from Headspace by Lewis Capaldi! stream Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent 

I’ll show two ways, broken into 3 parts (3rd part is the wave), 

1st one is multiple lines but same text (only works in cc I think, so just jump to the 2nd way if you don’t have cc!)

and the 2nd one is multiple lines but different text (or same text if you don’t have cc)

and I added in some sparkles because… pretty. I’m a sucker for sparkles but uhh that’s a whole other tutorial I think.

sorry if there’s a lot of stuff you already know, I think some is pretty basic but I figured I’d cover it to be safe! there’s nothing worse than reading a tutorial that feels like it starts halfway through the process. oh also i’m not a photoshop expert so there’s most likely a better way to do this! this is just the way I’ve figured out by trial and error (y’know, ‘click all the buttons and see what works’ style) 

(part 1) multiple lines, same text: 

so once you’ve got the line of text you want, right-click the text layer and select “convert to smart object” (this is a command I use a lot so I’ve set up a shortcut for it!)

double-click on your smart object layer with the text and you’ll be taken to the original text. You’ll want to extend the canvas with the crop tool so you have more room to work and your text won’t get cut off when you save.

I’ve added a layer and filled with my background colour so that we can see my text, but I also find it handy because I can see how the colours I pick work against my background. 

now to get the multiple lines, double-click your text layer to bring up layer styles

you want 2 (or however many lines you want) drop shadows (click the plus to get another). these are the settings I’m using:

I changed the colour and dragged the distance until the second line was sitting nicely under the first line. for the 2nd drop shadow, I kept the settings the same except for changing the colour again and I doubled the distance so the third line is evenly spaced.remember to hide the background colour layer before saving.

okay so now that we’ve got all the lines, ctrl/cmd + S to save the changes to the smart object, and your original document should be updated! (you can jump to part 3 now or read part 2 for different lines of text)

(part 2) multiple lines but different text: 

this time we’re going to do 3 (or however many) layers of text and once you’ve got them how you want side note: if you don’t have cc, this is where you would just create 3 lines of the same text and space them.

select all the text layers and right-click, convert to smart-object

double-click the smart object layer to open, extend canvas with crop tool (as I said earlier, temporarily changing the background colour could be helpful to see, just remember to hide it before you save), and ctrl/cmd + S to update the original document! (i find it helpful to make the adjustments, spacing, colour, position, whatever in the original document before converting to smart object but of course you can make those adjustments anytime in the smart object after.)

(part 3) the wave:

okaaaay onto the fun part lmao and the shortest part, hopefully. so the reason we put everything into a smart object is 1) it’s non-destructive aka we can open it up at any time and edit the text even if we’ve distorted it and 2) it makes sure those different lines of text all change the same!

select the smart object layer, and go to filter -> distort ->  wave

play around with the settings a bit, it’s easy to go too far and end up with unreadable text but your settings might be different to mine, depending on the look you’re going for. these are my settings for both text options:

yay so now you should have some wavey text! 

optional: I find that distorting the text makes it blurry so I like to sharpen it back up a bit with smart sharpen

and you’re done! you can go into that smart object and move your text around and the wave will stay consistent when you go back to the original document. 

thanks if you stuck around this far into a very long explanation 😅 hopefully it was helpful!! 

[ohcoolnice]

hi!!! i’ve been following ur blog for like two months maybe and i felt like i should let you know that it really makes me smile haha. i’ve been absolutely going through it recently and i can’t put into words how valuable the smiles you’ve brought me have been. just wanted to say thank you!!!!

HELLO ANON I LOVE YOU WTF OMFG

I'm gonna cry I'm so glad my random spam and insanity has helped you lol I thought I was screaming to the abyss but I'm so glad you've found something of happiness from it all!

Really really this ask made my whole entire year like sjhsksjsksjsksjskdjd I'm so happy that I've made you happy????????? How???? Idk????? I am the definition of a single braincell but all it's doing is screaming.

Whoever you are bestie ily and I hope things get better for you soon!!!!!!! Ily!!!!!!!!!

We all go through our share of tough times now and again, and when it's bad it's really bad. I was depressed for like two years in highschool but I hid it under smiles and jokes becuase I was told that my pain wasn't valid and real, and everyone I tried to talk to about it never treated me the same ever again.

I never ever ever want that to happen to anyone else so please know that your pain IS valid and you are still the same person despite it, it does not define you, but it's a part of you so you shouldn't have to hide it.

If you ever need someone to talk to I am here to listen and offer horrible advice seriously my advice probably sucks ass but LMFAO I'll try.

It took me several years (even when I didn't consider myself 'depressed' I was still fighting it. Id say it was a total of about 5 or 6 years of dealing with it) to climb out of depression and I had to do it alone and it was SO HARD and I slipped several times. Its easy to feel alone and unloved but you are loved, and you will be loved even if it's not tomorrow.

I'm so so glad that my random self has been able to offer you some sort of happiness and consolation while you're in a hard time. Find the things that make you happy and get rid of the things that don't! Ily!

[whimsywit]

Hello, I was hoping to get a red velvet truffle...?

I use he/they pronouns and I have no gender preference. I'm an average height and im a minor, I don't know much about zodiac stuff but I think it depends on birthday and my bday is on september 4th.. and I have shaggy/wavy dark red box dyed hair that reaches my shoulders and brown eyes lol I wear neat glasses too. I have pretty cool piercings, I usually wear baggy clothes because I like to stay comfortable.

I'm a very lazy/laidback person and I like getting into alot of playful banter n joking around with people im comfortable with. I am very people dependent and I hate being alone. I don't consider myself all too smart to be honest I'm wistfully ignorant lol. I have a not so good temper. I have trouble putting my thoughts and emotions into words and instead they're more present....physically if that makes sense idk like i said before i have trouble with this shit lol. I try my best to help my friends with any issues they have but I'm kind of awful at it.I am a very passionate person and I think I can be a very good person but I'm just so full of doubt that it makes me wonder if I'm just lying yakno? LOL. I kind of really rather go with the flow of thinks yakno? I'm really easy to fluster/embarrass and I am way too sensitive for my own good.

Random lil things about me, I used to do karate I hated every second of it but I still think fighting cool as fuck, I have awful music taste none of it makes sense I go from nasty screaming music to soft cheesy love pop songs it sucks but im really into singing too, i like playing games any kind of games but I usually suck at them 

I like dark and stormy weather nd hanging out with friends while just doin fun stuff. I really like savory foods as well. I dislike the heat and just being dirty/sweaty, I also have an irrational hatred of naps because i feel like im losing so much time i could be using to do stuff. My fears are being as bad as the people who hurt me in the past, and bugs haha. I really just wanna be successful in my life and amount to something! Have a good job a good house yakno yakno all that good stuff.

Traits I look for is someone who has a sense of humor even if its just a lil bit, someone sweet who will take time to understand me n stuff like that lol.. Someone I can find comfort in without feeling stupid about it. I really admire people who are empathetic since I have trouble being empathetic myself. Traits I'm not interested in are like people who are way too serious and uptight, not that being serious is a bad thing but i just can't groove with it.

Ok thats all, thank you very much :)❤ -👹🍁🌋

Heya! Tysm for requesting, and also in case you were curious, your main zodiac aka sun sign is Virgo (tho that doesn’t really come into play in your matchup mb 😅) Anyway, based on your info, I think you’d be perfect with...

Eijiro Kirishima!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Gosh you’re giving Tetsutetsu a run for his money with how similar you and Eijiro are! Both of you are passionate yet easygoing people... people (as in people-person but plural? ignore that it was so ineloquent 😅) who are more focused on and inclined towards the physical than anything else. On one hand it means youre unafraid of being close and touchy, and thus very affectionate with one another, which is good news for your dependency trait! On the other hand, you guys do have to study a LOT more than some of your other friends, most often with their help cause its not like you guys are gonna get anywhere by yourselves ffgjsvksdj But being in the same boat and bearing the brunt of it together makes it a lot better, trust! And you throw in plenty of gaming and joint hair-dying dates to balance it out dw ;0

Actually, I could go on and on about all the stuff you two get up to together! Plenty of sparring sessions since he loves a good ol fight just as much as you, hanging out with the bros while sharing savory snacks all around, and singing at the top of both your lungs to anything and everything, since I can see his music taste being all over the place, too. There’s never a dull or tense moment between you, as making you laugh (and occasionally taking advantage of your sensitivity since he thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world when you’re flustered ^w^) quickly become some of his favorite things to do.

Eiji is definitely able to stand your temper—just look at his blond best bud—and always calms you down whenever you rage. He also sees and loves how want to be a good person, help out those around you, and just make an impact. In his mind it’s super admirable that you’re even trying, and effort is half the battle after all! We’ve also seen how he’s struggled with self-image and self-doubt in the past, so he empathizes with your feelings in spades and is more than willing to help and encourage you while you overcome it. ALSO also, thinks all your piercings are manly as hell, and it probably inspires him to get some of his own, which sidenote he looks super hot in so tysm for blessing the world with that 🥺

All in all, you and Eijiro perfectly walk the line between comfortable and intimate. Every moment with him is filled with good vibes as he brings out the best in you, understanding, comforting, and protecting you (at least when any bugs show up for that last one lmfao) like no other while never minding any of your flaws! This guy’s honestly such a perfect sweetie but you more than deserve someone as great as him 💗💞

[threeletterslife]

Chana! I was reading thru your about page and I saw that you like Harry Potter 😄😄 I'm a really big fan of HP too! Would you mind sorting the BTS members in their houses? And I know you said you're a Ravenclaw! Would you choose any other house if you could? -Hufflepuff reader

yes! i was literally obsessed with hp for five(?) years now, which isn’t a lot compared to others, but it’s a fandom i’ve been in the longest LOL so happy to see another potterhead!!

and I WOULD NOT MIND AT ALL!!!! I LOVE HP X BANGTAN OMG (i will eat any hp x bts crossover ff uP)

but to answer your questions,,, this might get a lil long lol

namjoon actually sorted the members in their respective houses a long time ago himself. (not sure if it’s still accurate now, but i think what he wrote back then was all true.) also as a side note, these are my opinions, so you don’t necessarily have to agree with them! and aLSO i think there’s a common misconception going around with new harry potter fans. your hp house is NOT what you are the most—it’s what you VALUE the most! i’ll explain more later

GRYFFINDORS

seokjin

seokjin has always been a bit easy for me to categorize in terms of hp house

he just screams gryffindor to me

he tries to do what’s right

he’s the oldest in the group so he’s always taking care of his younger brother-like figures

he does his best to make sure the other members feel safe and comfortable in new environments (that’s why he cracks so many corny jokes—to break the ice!)

though he’s not the official leader of bangtan, he does a LOT of behind the scenes leadership work

i think seokjin can be mistaken as a hufflepuff (just because he’s so friendly and kind) BUT this is where the values come in. seokjin might have some hufflepuff-like traits, but he actually values the gryffindor traits even more. he values his passions, his confidence, his valiance

he doesn’t take himself too seriously, but he knows what’s right and wrong (great moral compass)

that puts him in gryffindor

namjoon

i’ve literally seen so many pple put joon in ravenclaw just because he has an insanely high iq

but i mean,,, as a ravenclaw myself, i don’t see him in my house

yes, namjoon is creative, yes, he is intelligent, and YES! he is indeed insightful!! BUT,,, it all comes down to his values

namjoon uses his intelligence, his creativity and insight for the good of everyone! he’s a team player (not an individualist, as most ravenclaws tend to be)

and, not to mention, he’s bangtan’s official leader, and he does extremely well with that extra responsibility (gryffindors are great leaders)

namjoon tries so hard to do what’s right

he doesn’t try to cut corners to get to his goals. he’s very moral and fair

he likes peace and justice

gryffindors are drawn to good morals (they’re always trying to fix what’s wrong too)

namjoon is the staple gryffindor in my eyes

HUFFLEPUFFS

hoseok

hoseok is so easy for me to categorize, but i’ve seen him be sorted into gryffindor sometimes

i don’t think he’d be in gryffindor, though. hoseok is someone who doesn’t exactly like the idea of *risks*

gryffindors are all about risks (stereotypically they don’t think about the consequences that much because all they want to do is wrong the right)

hoseok (though he is passionate and charismatic) is more fit for hufflepuff

he’s bright, kind and always has something nice to say

the persona he puts on in front of the camera is close to his real personality—he’s just a sunny person in general

what makes him such a hufflepuff is the fact that he’s so hardworking! hoseok just dOES NOT give up (he’s extremely loyal to the people in his life, and he’s loyal to his talents too)

he chased after his dancing talents and look where he is right now

he wasn’t originally a rapper but he practiced and practiced until it became one of his talents

he’s dependable, honest and values friendship

hufflepuffs are people’s persons. and hoseok is just that—A GIFT TO THE PEOPLE

taehyung

taehyung’s the hardest one to put in a house in my opinion. he’s what you’d call *divergent* (and yes, in theory, everyone is divergent. we ALL have traits of ALL FOUR hp houses. BUT there are some people who exemplify all four traits more equally than others. so now, it all comes down to what taehyung values the most)

taehyung, in my eyes, is such a people’s person. that makes him a strong candidate for hufflepuff

the tae that i know has many friends—and he’s extremely good at reading people too (like his vibe check DO BE trustworthy)

hufflepuffs are often underestimated because they’re written canonnly as just being “nice”

hufflepuffs are much more than that. hufflepuffs are essentially gryffindors but with higher eq LOL (hufflepuffs would ONLY right the wrong if righting the wrong didn’t hurt anyone on the ‘wrong’ side—does that even make sense??)

tae is someone i see as extremely trustworthy—he’s someone who’d die WITH your secrets

he’s also very emotionally available to the people in his life

therefore,,, i sort tae into hufflepuff

RAVENCLAW

jungkook

ravenclaws are intelligent, insightful and most of all, they value creativity!!

jungkook is the staple ravenclaw

i can’t see him in any other house

like if i see jungkook, i see ravenclaw. they are literal synonyms

ravenclaws are stereotypically jack-of-all-trades because they genuinely enjoy learning new things

i mean,,, jungkook’s lowkey perfect right? he’s good at everything right? yeah it’s because he has the thirst to LEARN! he wants to be good at everything! that’s such a mf ravenclaw trait

sorry i get so excited explaining about my own house omf

jungkook’s naturally curious; he likes to poke at new things because he wonders what it’ll be like to learn about it and do it himself

ravenclaws are also stereotypically the “artsy” kids (and i mean, this man can DRAW)

ALSO! just because ravenclaws get called jack-of-all-trades often, it doesn’t mean they’re good at EVERYTHING. it means that they’re good at what they’re interested in!! (jungkook doesn’t exactly care too much about math, which is totally fine! he has his other interests)

ravenclaws are smart, yes, but just because you’re smart, doesn’t mean you’re necessarily a ravenclaw. (i.e. hermione isn’t open-minded enough to be ravenclaw.) being a ravenclaw doesn’t mean you just read a lot lol. it means you read a lot AND you take the adventures from the protagonist in the book and then apply it to yourself. hence, the *imagination*

idk man i can’t see jk in any other house

SLYTHERINS

yoongi

yoongi’s also really easy to sort

i mean, the man screams slytherin

a slytherin would do anything (maybe even cross a few rules) to get to his desired end result

some people call it evil (usually gryffindors and hufflepuffs), but i call it working smarter not harder (to slytherins, it’s not immoral to cut a few corners to get to their desired result—if they don’t get caught, that is)

if yoongi were not slytherin, he would not have cut corners in those bts run episode games LMAO (icon behavior)

slytherins also value individuality (like ravenclaws) but in a COMPLETELY different way. ravenclaws love to be unique because with their insight, they conclude that everyone has dealt with different experiences, making them their each, special person. slytherins like to be individualists because they like to feel special (sometimes paired with a superiority/god complex BUT i don’t think that’s necessarily bad. but slytherins do tend to be more close-minded than ravenclaws; slytherins value tradition)

in turn, slytherins find more success than ravenclaws. sometimes, ravenclaws step back when they find that their ideals will be replaced with success. slytherins would rather replace/reform their ideals to find success (i.e. yoongi became an extremely successful idol rapper when he could’ve actually just become a producer instead)

slytherins also tend to have trust issues. they don’t like to trust others except for themselves (smart, really)

yoongi is very self-driven and self-reliant, making him a perfect slytherin candidate

he’s the staple slytherin

jimin

i lowkey wanna copy paste what i wrote for yoongi into jimin’s explanation lmfao

personally, jimin was easy to place in slytherin, BUT i’ve seen a lot of pple put him in hufflepuff

so lemme just refute that for a sec

jimin is very self-orientated (and i’m saying that in the nicest way possible)

he wants to be unique! he wants to be special! he wants to shine!! 

jimin’s just a naturally giggly, bubbly person

but behind the scenes (behind the cameras), he beats himself up to be his very best self; slytherin behavior

slytherins are perfectionists, okay? they value what others think of them a lot OR they value the INFLUENCE they have on other people

remember? slytherins are about pOwEr! and power comes in many shapes and forms

jimin likes the idea of being well-liked! he likes the idea of being thought of as charismatic and talented

he may act like a hufflepuff to fit what people want to see in him, BUT the fact that he has to ACT like a hufflepuff to be in people’s favor makes him a slytherin lol (i mean,,, remember his whole FILTER song???)

anyways i wouldn’t call him a staple slytherin (that’s for yoongi) but he’s pretty close to being one

anyways, to answer your other question,,,

i’ve mentioned before that everyone is *divergent* 

of course i have all four traits of the hp houses, but the traits aren’t very equal for me. i have all the traits of ravenclaw, hufflepuff aNd slytherin. except i’m not very gryffindor. i have a few gryffindor traits, yes, but i don’t value them as much as my other traits. with that said, it’s hard for me to acclimate in environments where people value things that i don’t necessarily find as important

i think it’d be best for me to be in ravenclaw (just because every ravenclaw i know has been my best friend). i think i’d also do well in slytherin (but sometimes, i can’t handle their intense ambition lol). i’m also a good hufflepuff candidate, but i don’t think i could trade up being a ravenclaw for that

in the end, your house is your choice (it’s what you value the most)

i would like to say i’m friendly, ambitious and creative. but when it comes down to it, i’m picking my creativity and RUNNING. so no, i would not change my house. never! i’m a solid ravenclaw!!

i am so sorry this is so long wtf 😭😭

*also disclaimer* this was written in the pov of a ravenclaw,,, it may or may not be biased 😀😀😀😀😀😀

[elsaclack]

Hi :) This might sound weird haha but I adore reading you talk about your writing, it's really inspiring and I feel like I learn a lot of things every time I read you talk about it (you know I'm a fan of your style haha). And anyways while I was reading your answer to your last anon, this struck me: "when i was outlining that chapter i think the only line i dedicated to the actual fight itself was “and then they have a crazy knife fight (good luck future me)”" and I wanted to ask you (1/2?)

(2/3?) do you have like any tips for writing a multichapters fic? I guess from what you wrote here you outline the whole thing before you start with it? Or it depends or the story and sometimes you just go with the flow and see where it goes haha? Do you mind sharing some of your writing process of multichapter fics? :3 Bc I tend to get "bored" really easily and if I don't finish something in one sitting I usually never ever finish it. But also I'd like to learn how to take my time sometimes

(3/3) and idk maybe learning how to properly "get ready" to write something long would help haha. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense at all but yeah in any case just thank you for blessing my nights with your fics and killing me over and over with feels, I'm sure I said it before but you (and all of the amazing writers this fandom is blessed with) are a true inspiration!!!

you are SO sweet to me i die fhflkdsjf

i’m gonna go ahead and throw 100% of my answer under the cut because i haven’t even started yet and i know this is about to be. So Long. i am sorry in advance lmao

there are a couple of different aspects to this ask that i want to touch on so i will be as brief as possible but as i have proven twice over tonight alone, i am really not capable of that lmfao

i’d say first and foremost, the biggest thing you can do to help yourself in this arena is figure out how to best discipline yourself. which SUCKS it’s like the worst most mom answer ever but in all honesty, developing discipline in writing is what separates the “i could write a book” people from the people who actually do write books. everyone is capable of writing, but not everyone has the discipline or patience to do so. long-form narrative requires even MORE discipline than a one-shot (or even a long one-shot) because it’s like you said, it requires the author to come back over and over and over again to write new material and edit existing material and figure out a way to cohesively connect everything they’ve written into one consistent narrative, and some people have a much harder time with that than others do. there’s nothing wrong with that either way!! the world needs short stories just as much as it needs longer stories. but if you’re wanting to work on writing longer-form narratives, working out a way to best discipline yourself should probably be your number-one goal.

that kind of brings me to my next point (and also ties in part of what i was talking about in that other ask) - comparing your writing style, your progress, your everything to other writers will only lead to heartache for you. when i first started reading and writing for b99 i came across a specific author (who is now one of my dear friends) whose fics were just. next-level works of art. and while i read through just about everything she’d written for b99 and LOVED every single one of them, i found myself getting more and more down on my own writing, because i knew i’d never be able to write like her. but the more comfortable and confident i got in my own writing, the more i realized that it’s less about writing more like That Person and more about developing my own style (my favorite comparison to make between my writing and hers now is that hers are like beautiful and intricate fairy tales, and mine are more of a smokey back room at a bar where a guy is sitting alone at a table and he says “come here and listen to this story.” they’re both Very Different, and perhaps have varying audiences, but one is not inherently Better Or Worse than the other). all of this to say, if you’re working as hard as you can and being really disciplined but still find yourself struggling with writing a multichap, THAT’S OKAY!!! there’s NOTHING wrong with that!!! your writing, however short or long, serves an INCREDIBLY important purpose within the fandom as a whole and no matter what, there will ALWAYS be an audience for your writing.

so okay as for the actual Advice!!! i actually have a couple of steps that i usually follow prior to actually Writing the first chapter of any long fic i’ve written (or am in the process of writing...@king and lionheart yikes). i have yet to really find any consistency in how i think of ideas for multichaps - so far the idea every multichap i’ve written has come from a different source (which is actually kind of Frustrating for reasons i won’t get into). but basically once i actually have An Idea, i’ll take a day or two to kind of think it over and flesh it out as much as possible. if it really starts expanding in detail and an actual Story constructs itself around the idea, i’ll move on to the next step, which is to find a few trusted mutuals here on tungle.corn and say “heyyYYY CAN I YELL ABOUT AN IDEA I HAVE FOR A SECOND” and then spill everything i’ve thought of so far. usually i can tell if an idea will live or die based on these conversations - if the other person is Into It and we start sort of developing the world within the chat, i know it’s time to really sit down and make an effort to pursue the fic. in that case, i will go and copy&paste that part of our chat into a google doc and i’ll build an outline in a separate doc. i used to despise outlines and i would refuse to do them in high school, but once i got into writing as a hobby and i started pursuing longer narrative forms, i tried once or twice to write a multichap without an outline and i just forgot a lot of the details i originally wanted to include, which left me feeling really frustrated with myself and with my writing. i came to realize that outlines kind of a necessary evil, so in writing them i made them as fun for me as possible (i.e. the “good luck future me” line from the king and lionheart outline i mentioned lmao). now i love them and i have them open at all times while i’m working on writing a new chapter.

so i know that i started this off by saying that writing multichaps requires a special kind of discipline, and i stand by that, but also...writer’s block and real life responsibility and just plain exhaustion are all Very Real Things, and they take precedent over keeping up with a publishing schedule (if you’re so inclined to make one of those for yourself). when i started writing king and lionheart, i didn’t know at that point that i would be headed back to school in the spring, and thought that i would have all the time in the world to write. right around november, i realized that i would be going back to school - that’s about the time i took an unofficial hiatus from writing king and lionheart, because i knew trying to keep up with writing that fic the way that i want it to be written and all of the intensive and demanding coursework was going to kill me. taking a step back from posting and coming back to it later is okay. i know i talk a lot about feeling guilty for not having an update for king and lionheart (and the cancer au before it) but in all honesty i know that it’s okay for me to take some time and deal with my real life. and, you know, it’s also okay to lose inspiration for a while and to take a step back until that inspiration comes back. i think it’s that fear of not being able to take longer breaks between updates that scares a lot of people off from even trying to write a multichap - as the queen of procrastination, i am here to tell you that it is 100% okay to start a multichap and to take a break and come back to it when necessary!

writing a multichap is very much like running a marathon - it requires a different kind of energy than a 400 meter sprint or a 1k fluffy oneshot. it’s gonna hurt and it’s gonna suck and there are gonna be times when you’re ready to just quit writing altogether. but there will be parts that are really fun and really easy and you’re gonna get some really great views along the way - and at the end when you cross that finish line and you’re able to check that “complete” box on ao3 before you post the last chapter, you won’t remember the parts that sucked. trust me!! i wouldn’t write as many as i do if the actual shitty parts of the writing process negated the good things that come from writing it and sharing it with other people!

it’s also worth noting that just because you get bored with an idea doesn’t mean that you can’t pick it up again later!!! honestly the first 2 or 3 paragraphs of on your heart like a tattoo sat in my google docs for MONTHS before i randomly decided one day to open it and take a crack at finishing it, and to this DAY i’m still getting people regularly commenting on it. every idea has its purpose and its place, even if it doesn’t always immediately seem like it.

i really hope this helps and i’m sorry if it doesn’t!!! you are such a kind and wonderful person and i absolutely adore you

[witchboyjimin]

okay but not you making me go major uwu and then crack up right after with the answer to my last ask lmfaoooo

love and dedication my phone has for your story hahaha. It's brothers in arms with my Browser that goes 'oh she must mean ILHDYS when i type in anything CLOSE to the words i like how' roflmao. It's all off and go from there hahahaha

And the way i cackled over your first reply to my question. It's just quite something, writing smut, huh? I was genuinely gonna say i haven't done that before but then i remembered three separate fics i wrote in teen wolf where i decidedly and irrevocably DID write that lmfao. But not as on the kinky side as yours. I do wonder tho, if you don't mind further questions of course!! How do you go about writing and putting ideas into plot and paper? Like, when do you go oh that's totally gonna be a thing I'll write and what remains a daydream only kinda thing? Hard to answer probably, huh.

I do enjoy all the smut you wrote and write, even though some things are not as much my thing if I'd consider writing myself. But first and foremost, writing is supposed to be self-indulgent imo and i can usually appreciate it the extra bit if it's apparent the authors joy is in the fic and story hihi

- cabin anon ✨

kekeke i was like i can be honest here, can't i?

dkfnsjk clearly u and ur browser are the #1 ilhdys fans wow!!! incredible!!!! you're visiting it more than me kdjfn i had better step up my game

i feel like writing porn/smut is such a...you do have to be in a certain mood and it can be quite daunting. especially because i think people sometimes assume writing porn is easy when it is. really not. i'm super grateful that jimin inspires me so much because idk if i could have written as much porn as i have if not for him. that aside, incredibly exciting that you're writing for/wrote for teen wolf fandom!!! truly one of the best fandoms out there in terms of porn AND creativity. there's some really cool story-telling in teen wolf.

as for your questions: i think i ruminate on fic ideas quite a bit. i also think, for me, i need time for an idea to kinda stew so that i can write it down the way i envision it, too. i think the fic that ends up being written vs the stuff that stays a daydream is just based on what is a reoccurring daydream/how often am i thinking about a certain idea or scene because the more you think about the same thing, the more likely you are to write it down.

of course, there are ideas i think about relentlessly that don't get written but i think usually in those cases, it's because something's missing from the story i'm telling. likely, part of me thinks it's a dull story because the plot isn't giving what i think it needs to give. i find lately i get bored very easily if i daydream about a fic and the stakes are really low or it feels like there's not a lot of tension or points of conflict. one of my current wips has kind of been put on the backburner because the plot's too basic/fluffy for me so i need to ruminate some more and figure out what story i want to tell.

also, i think with writing now i am trying to veer away from some of the traps fic lands you in eg. i want to write more fully fleshed out characters who aren't 100% likeable. i feel like with fic and especially bts fic, there's like this expectation that you only write wholesome versions of bts who never do anything wrong but that is not how real life works so a lot of my wips are being revisited and will likely be rewritten so that i feel more engaged with what i'm writing. when the characters are perfect and the plot's super low stakes, i lose interest and i'm glad i've realised that.

god! so very sorry for how fucking long this is and kudos to you if you even read this far fjdnk thank you once again for such a fun ask cabin anon ✨ you are so delightful! hope you have a great weekend!

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Ughghgh I feel so fat today and I'm sad and lonely and I feel like I'm failing at life and I don't know what to do about it

Like 6 months ago I had my life together and everything was going up hill and now it's like, all the way back down to zero maybe even in the negatives ugh I don't want to go into details bc it's all vague and none of it matters and we're gonna go back up again it's just frustrating to find myself feeling stuck here and resorting back to the thinspo community to find some kind of friendship and mutual support lmfao and like,,,, the initial breakup happened in July and I was like ok suddenly my life is radically different but we're still gonna be ok and then I had a really good few months to myself just don't nothing living at the beach and like literally had a moment last month when I was like, this might be the happiest I've ever been in my entire life??? And now suddenly over the past 3 weeks I'm back at my mom's house and my car broke down so I have no car and no job and just I can't believe I'm stuck here again it's like I'm back in high school ahhhhh I've slipped lower and lower and lower and..... Breathe we're gonna make it out it's gonna be ok it's just kind of startling how easy it is to slip back into this state of unmotivated hopeless depression. There's a lot of factors y'all don't need to know all the random details the point is it's a Mindset Thing and it's Too Easy to give up and slide back into depression but No Bitch We're Getting The Fuck Out Of Here!!!!!!! And then like, this is embarrassing but I just have no idea what I actually want to be doing with my life and the only thing motivating me to get my life together is this super smart hot guy I met when I was living at the beach and I'm like, dying to get a new car so I can go fucking see him again like how pathetic is that lol idfk like I don't want to be that girl who just floats around from man to man her entire life but also I don't want to be responsible for anything I just want someone else to take care of all the life things and I'll just be there to make them feel better at the end of a frustrating day lolol idk outdated gender roles etc but ugh.

1000% I just need to get back on Adderall and I'm gonna call on Monday and hopefully it doesn't take 3 months to get an appointment, also worried I'm just using that as an excuse and really I just need to *try harder* but I've been telling myself that for years and haven't fucking gotten anywhere lmfao so it's time to just do it, I'm tired of waiting around doing nothing, and I know I'm gonna be really embarrassed I waited this long to do it but whatever do it now before another year goes by and I'm still stuck here doing nothing. Just ughhhhh life is hard and I miss having my own house and my own fucking life and I don't feel like I'm capable of actually getting those things for myself without having a partner to help manage things etc. (But also that dumbass ex bf was so fucking shitty with money that if I hadnt stayed with him for so many years I would be in such a different place right now........ But that's not helpful bc it happened and I'm here and it is what it is.) Whatever whatever whatever positive thinking it's just a terrible mood and in 3 days I'll probably be excited about some other random thing that strikes my interest and I just need to get out of here and find an inexpensive place to live so I can actually do something with my life.

[felidfavs]

it's time to make a "my life sucks" post

so this is just going to be a list of ongoing shitty things of varying degrees of annoyance.

mum is stressed as shit over money. We had to buy a new hot water tank, and her husband a new phone, and both the mortgage and our phone bills have been fucked up and thus are needing dealt with ASAP. On top of really tenuous payments for a fuck up she made involving his work checks and his immigration status awhile ago.

i'm stressed as shit over money. i contribute a small amount to rent and phone, and my own loans every month that is coming out of old loan and no new money right now. I haven't wanted to make money with art because i'm sketched out over taxes and legalities- and since my mom has always done my taxes and is always too busy and stressed out to show me how... not to mention probably not the best at it anyways... it's not something that's likely to change any time immediately.

So i'm trying i find work. I am not doing a super amazing job at that because of my anxiety and overthinking and shit but. I am applying for at least 1 thing a week at this point, which is better then the previous nothing at all so.

But to get work I also need to buy some new clothes, most things have a dress code u know. At the very least i need some shoes. I think. I might just go dig around and see if there's any old pairs that would fit the bill but i doubt it.

and then there's just the general things piling up like; i haven't had a hair brush with a handle for like. 2 years lmfao. it's fine and i refuse to buy myself one cause just having the head works perfectly fine but it's one of those things u look at when ur annoyed at money and just go "jfc what is my life"

I havent had easy access to a shower in like. i don't even know. probably around 4 years now? Again, our bath functions and that does an adequate job so. Not the end of the world but. thinking "i haven't been able to shower in my own home for 4 years" is mildly depressing.

My dog needs to be put down. hard stop if i had the agency to do it i would. He is old. He stumbles a lot. The "fat deposit" on his shoulder is the size of a small cat at this point. He has some sort of wound on his head now apparently. He huffs and wheezes constantly (probably from the weight of that mass or other things) and like. While he's still... fine.. like he eats happily he still manages the stairs with some effort and he's still playful if you bug him... he's old and he's dying and he's not exactly comfortable. And it sucks to have to watch him. But i know my mum isn't going to put him down any time soon until she HAS to because she doesn't take death well AT ALL and won't add that to her stress willingly.

Sadie has had chronic ear infections since she was a pup. We don't buy shit for them, and while it wouldn't do that much good anyways given how impossible it is to get anything in her ear... i'm getting tired of wrangling her and coaxing her into letting me wipe sludge out of them twice a day every day to no improvement.

Apparently i need a new computer. Because i can't get mine to stop fucking restarting. i dug out an old keyboard to try to get to the start up repair shit but it doesn't seem to be able to like... get its drivers in before the restart cycle or it's not compatible idk. it gets power to it but it doesn't work. So idk what to do about that. and i don't.. want to call someone. i really don't. i need a new one badly anyways. but i don't have the money for it.

I also probably need a new phone soon... which is entirely my fault. Being jobless and stressed and battling all my shit i've been using it WAY TOO HEAVILY and it barely holds a charge anymore. But that's what you get when you've been using it to play music all night cause it's the only way you can sleep :/

im supposed to go hang out at ACAD today cause there's an artist talk and i want to get more involved with humans and not being a house hermit but i also kind of just want to go to sleep for awhile and stop existing. I was gunna try to find some shoes too but now i don't wanna make that expense if i need a computer first. If i can bring a bag to work if i get that job i have shoes i can probably manage in they're just very slick and not ideal for actual... work lol. but if i have to i'll make it work u know.

shitty part about if my computer is dead is i started a new painting and it's only like 2 days old so i haven't backed it up anywhere else :-)

oh also i've low key been worried i might be like..... actually ill. probably just me reading into shit looking to cause more stress but my lower back hasn't stopped being mildly sore since that couple days where it was really bad and i still wake up a bunch at night uncomfortable. and just like. general not feeling great. and a couple other choice sore spots. i dunno how much stock i want to put into it because that means i should probably get on seeing a doctor but again. money. and that is a very Big Thing that i don't want to deal with if i don't have to because it will probably put me out of every other stressful thing i try to do to focus on it. but it keeps bugging me cause like.. if it's something bad and i ignore it and it fucks me over even worse u know.

oh and of course there's always "grandma could drop dead any day" stress as per usual.

"i need to learn how to drive" stress

"will i ever have my shit together to get back to pottery" stress

"keep your body and brain demons happy so u don't want to give up and kill yourself again" stress

anyways i'm done complaining for now back to dealing with it all.