#llorando once again

[deafeningwastelandllama]

AAAAAH...

AAAAAH y ahora por ultimo recuerdo… ***** QUE TENDRIA QUE PASARNOS UNA DESGRACIA UNIVERSAL PARA ENTENDER DE LA FORMA MAS DIFICIL Y DE UNA VEZ POR TODAS QUE SI NO NOS DETENEMOS AHORA MISMO DE COMETER ATROCIDADES LA HUMANIDAD DESAPARECERA MUCHO ANTES DE QUE TERMINE EL SIGLO 2XXI. ***** Y que pasaría si todos los delincuentes que lastiman las sociedades civiles del planeta tierra se encontraran atrapados en un mundo lleno de alienígenas ancestrales asesinos y que todo el tiempo los están acechando como si fueran animales de caza, para perseguirlos sigilosamente y después de atraparlos los torturaran despiadadamente para hacerlos sufrir como nosotros lo hacemos con otras personas y después de condenarlos a muerte se los comieran para convertirlos en cagada porque eso es lo que son ustedes, pero si en un descuido de los captores de pronto se les escapara un maldito malandro y en su huida desesperada de repente pasara frente a este desdichado una muchacha terrícola originaria de esos lugares el insensato la vería más hermosa que tu mama y se le arrojaría rápidamente a sus brazos buscando protección y ayuda, yal ver que era correspondido gritaría de alegría, llorando de felicidad abrazándola cariñosamente besándola con todo el amor del mundo para demostrarnos una vez más que todas las razas del planeta azul quieran o no los racistas seguimos siendo hermanos en donde LA PAZ automáticamente nos separaría de LA GUERRA. ***** por La Santa Bertha, La Santa Martha, La Santa Lucia, La Santa Renata y La Santa Ana. ***** ***** ***** AAAAAH and now finally I remember... ***** THAT A UNIVERSAL DISGRACE WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN TO US TO UNDERSTAND IN THE MOST DIFFICULT WAY AND ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT IF WE DON'T STOP RIGHT NOW FROM COMMITTING ATROCITIES, HUMANITY WILL DISAPPEAR LONG BEFORE THE END OF THE 21ST CENTURY. ***** And what would happen if all the criminals who harm the civil societies of planet Earth found themselves trapped in a world full of ancient murderous aliens who are constantly stalking them as if they were hunting animals, to stealthily pursue them and after catching them, torture them? mercilessly to make them suffer like we do with other people and after condemning them to death aliens would eat them to turn them into shit because that is what you are, but if due to the captors' carelessness a damned thug suddenly escaped from aliens and in If his desperate flight were to suddenly pass in front of this unfortunate man, an earthling girl originally from those places, the fool would see her more beautiful than your mother and would quickly throw himself into her arms seeking protection and help, and upon seeing that it was reciprocated, he would scream with joy, crying with joy. happiness, hugging her affectionately, kissing her with all the love in the world to show us once and again that all the races on the blue planet, whether the racists like it or not, we are still brothers where THE PEACE would automatically separate us from THE WAR. ***** by La Santa Bertha, La Santa Martha, La Santa Lucia, La Santa Renata and La Santa Ana.

[ochoislas]

LA BESTIA

Llegué ante una gran arcada, asomaban por su cima zarzas, abrojos, y púas; abrióse el portón, y vi un prado verde y lozano.

Retozaba allí una bestia grande, vivaracha, ociosa, su cuerna una astilla osuda, fileteada de brencas. Me oteó, y fijó sus ojos.

Sostuve su vista, en vilo; claudiqué; me levanté; trompiqué y caí de nuevo, recio, en el áspero plinto; desmayé, quedé yaciendo.

Cuando al fin me levanté, los grandes ojos no estaban. Tenía sus crines la yerba; quedé allí llorando, solo.

*

THE BEAST

I came to a great door, Its lintel overhung With burr, bramble, and thorn; And when it swung, I saw A meadow, lush and green.

And there a great beast played, A sportive, aimless one, A shred of bone its horn, And colloped round with fern. It looked at me; it stared.

Swaying, I took its gaze; Faltered; rose up again; Rose but to lurch and fall, Hard, on the gritty sill, I lay; I languished there.

When I raised myself once more, The great round eyes had gone. The long lush grass lay still; And I wept there, alone.

Theodore Roethke

di-versión©ochoislas

[llovetalks]

ATHOOS MI BBCITO DE LUZ 🥺🥺🥺 cómo va esa búsqueda de tus padres hmmm ??? algún progreso ???

“ ¡sí! logré encontrar a mi papá, estoy muy feliz por eso. y mi mamá... todavía no sé nada de ella, pero espero conseguir información pronto. ”

[thesolotomyhan]

There's a lot we could talk about with Món: from his speedo, to his ass (or lack of lolol) to how he would propose, but i'll go right into the serious important question here reina: do you think he could be committed, faithful to a woman 100%? like Mín is with Ruth, as far a we know? bc i have to say s3!Món did established he's a party boy, he likes having fun, likes going out with his friends to the clubs, where obviously he attracts the attention of viejas who dgaf if he's married or not, so would he have the strength to say: thanks, but no thanks i'm married? I can see it going both ways: him cheating, not seeing the big deal about it and just asking you to forgive him later, OR him following Min's path once he found the one. I love mi ninõ hermoso with all my heart, pero I have doubts if he could do faithful...perhaps once he's older, what do you think? PS: This though was prompted by me reading the wedding hc, which btw made me feel SO MUCH AND CRY !!!! ( hermoso cariño oh my goddd !!!!!!!🥰🥰😭😭) it was perfect! BUT it got me thinking about this like: ok what happens after the marriage? would he let go of his partying ways? would be faithful to his princesa? Or would he act a bit like Pablo you know? su esposa claramente es el amor de su vida y su prioridad SIEMPRE, but he also compartmentalizes some of his feelings and needs with a different woman. SO SORRY! this got long and deep.....no pressure for you to answer it! it's just a thought I had and needed to share with you! I'll shut up now dssjdjsds ;)

ayy dios- wow ok bestie sooo,,, my ass wants to lean into him following benjamins example once he for sure knows he found his amor de la vida ya know like to the point where he finds no other comparable and he becomes infatuated,, and i mean looking at benjamin and francisco who are both married but still go out to have a guys night i feel as though ramon would start to become more like them,,, like by s3 hes starting to become more mature so if were talking about that then yeah haha,, but also i can see where your getting your doubts from because yeah hes joven and just feels like one not being the type to be held down but honestly i do feel like when hes finally found the one hes going to be out here acting a bit more mature when you’re not around and following mins example :(

awwww 🥺 thank you for that comment haha that wedding hc had me llorando media noche for him :((( i couldnt handle it :( im happy you enjoyed it haha and again UGH YOUR QUESTIONS LOL como me pones a pensar,,, so maybe ,, maybe not if you get where im coming from but he would love to go partying with you tho if you wanted to but he might occasionally go partying just maybe not so much and if he becomes infatuated with you :( there is no one like you for him to be looking at someone else :( ayy no because i feel like it runs in the family that no one would be disrespecting your name much less putting their hands on you in front of him ,, so i feel like he wouldnt lean into being like pinche pablo you feel? ok ok im done rambling too haha

[thequeenkrys15]

His Woman

This fic is dedicated to Miss Nadia, aka @flamediel​​

First off, I would like to apologize to you Queen, because this took much longer than I imagined, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

About a month ago, Miss Nadia underwent a lot of unnecessary hate for no reason. Really all hate is unnecessary, but it was hate nonetheless. I would like to remind everyone who reads this fic that it there is never a good reason to be malicious to someone, and that it is always better to spread positivity. In my eyes, we are all kings and queens and should treat each other as such. 

Miss Nadia, please know that to me, you are awesome. You are amazing, and marvelous and every positive word in the dictionary in every language. You are a queen, an empress a GODDESS, and if anyone tells you differently they can kick rocks because they’re peasants and queens don’t have time for peasants. And if no one has said it today, I LOVE YOU! And so does this man right here!

Pairing: Zabdiel de Jesus x Nadia!Reader

Word Count: 2950

Warnings: Slight Angst, Smut, 18+, minors DNI, protected sex (no glove, no love), fondling, fingering, oral (female receiving), fluff, and google translated spanish

Without further adeu, Miss Nadia sweetie, enjoy!

Dating a musician was hard for anyone, especially when that musician was in a famous band like Nadia’s man. CNCO was often doing promo and concerts, sometimes it was hard to find time. And it didn’t help that the two of them were in a long-distance relationship. Some of the guys trying to hit on her in Cairo were so rude. And Nadia could only imagine all the women making themselves look “too available” for Zabdiel. But alas, he always made sure to silence her insecurities. “You’re the only one for me, Nadia, mi amol”, he would say in that thick Puerto Rican accent that always made her swoon. They always Facetimed each other every day and flew out to see each other when they could. They say time apart makes the heart grow fonder, then the two of them must be infatuated, because Nadia and Zabdiel were in love.

           Time seemed to align perfectly for Zabdiel and Nadia. CNCO got some vacation time to relax, and Nadia saved up enough sick days and vacation days two get a whole two months of paid leave. How would the two choose to spend this newfound time? Why with each other of course! Zabdiel put everything in motion the second he knew she was coming. He wanted this time off to be stress free and be filled with love and romance for his woman, Nadia. The next two months were about to be the best she has ever had.

           After getting off the plane in Miami, Nadia was overrun with happiness and joy, and just in a few moments, she would see the love of her life. As she approached Baggage Claim, it’s like the world stopped. Zabdiel had been searching for Nadia for the past 15 minutes, and once his eyes locked with hers, a huge smile spread across his face. It started as a sprint, and then a full-blown dash as they ran to each other. When the two finally had their arms wrapped around each other, a wash of calm and clarity overcame them both. This felt right, this felt like love.

“Hola mi amol, estoy tan feliz de que estés aqui”, he whispered into her ear.

“I missed you so much, baby”, Nadia cried into his shoulder happily.

           Zabdiel and Nadia broke apart after a few more minutes, wiping their eyes and walking hand in hand, grabbing her suitcases, and striding out of the airport. The two headed to his car and put the bags in the trunk. Zabdiel opened the door for his woman, and the two of them climbed in and started their ride home.

“Te amo mi cariño”, he kissed her hand.

“And I love you”, she said sweetly.

Nadia knew that these next two months were going to be a blast.

 Time Jump

             These two months were going nothing like Nadia thought it would. Don’t get her wrong, Zabdiel was treating her like a queen in every sense of the word, from feeding her fruit, to afternoon massages, to late night lovin! When it came to Zabdiel, Nadia was on cloud nine, but it was something else that was bringing her down more than usual: the fans. Now in the beginning, the CNCOwners were ecstatic about the relationship Nadia had blossomed with Zabdiel, and for the most part, they still are. There are positive messages in her inbox from the fans all the time, and they always lift her spirits when she’s down. But lately, somethings been off with them, or at least some of them. It started when Nadia was giving weekly updates to the fans about what Mr. de Jesús was up to. Even though the band was on break, he still did somethings band-related, like producing music. Sometimes when he’s in his element, she likes to get a video of him because she knows the fans would love the content. Or when you catch him doing something cute like playing with Appa, she knew the fans would swoon. Even though most of the fans were showing her love, some were showing her hate. Like HATE, hate. Like hate to the point where they were telling her to kill herself. Like, who does that? At first, she didn’t pay them any mind, because of course there were always the nay-sayers. But the comments started getting worst, like to the point where they were making her cry. She couldn’t believe there were people like this on the internet. She tried to keep this from Zabdiel as long as she could, this time was supposed to be about them, not some asshats that were trying to bring her spirits down. But of course, Zabdiel knew his woman way too well for her to keep a secret like this.

           Zabdiel had just got home from a dinner run when he walked in and noticed the apartment was eerily silent.

“¡Nadia, estoy en casa!” he shouted through the home to place her. She didn’t respond.

           He placed the food in the refrigerator and went in search of his girlfriend, finally finding her in the bedroom.

“Nena, ¿me has oído? Why didn’t you respond?”

           He turned her around in the bed, just to find she was crying her eyes out.

“¿Por que estás llorando? What happened?”

           Still trying to save face, Nadia pushed it aside to change the subject.

“Everything’s fine honey. What did you get to eat?” She was totally lying in his face, and Zabdiel was not having it.

           Before Zabdiel could ask again what had her in distress, her phone lit up with a notification, and before she could redirect his attention, he snatched her phone away.

“What is this, Nadia?” he tapped on the notification.

“It’s nothing Zab. Please don’t open---”

           But it was too late. He had opened it, and what he saw made him bubble with anger. Countless negative comments on her social media degrading her, berating her, calling her names and how she was worthless. One he scrolled past literally told her to kill herself. Are they serious? He could not believe that his so called “fans” were the ones harassing her like this. Oh, he was going to put a stop to this once and for all.

“¿Por cuánto tiempo ha estado sucediendo esto?” he asked in sorrow.

“Zabdiel, please.” She just wanted to forget about it, but he wouldn’t budge.

“How long, Nadia.” His tone was firmer, and because she knew he wasn’t going to leave it alone, she conceded.

“A few weeks.” She sighed. He huffed in frustration but spoke to her in a soft tone.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in curiosity, not understanding why she would keep something like this from him.

“Because I didn’t want you to worry, okay? This time together was supposed to be about us, not some mean fans. I just shouldn’t have let it get to me so much.”

           At the sound of her blaming herself for this nonsense, Zabdiel wrapped Nadia up in the tightest hug he could muster, quieting her claims.

“Escúchame mi amol. None of this your fault, and I am sorry this has happened. Those are not my fans; they are just evil people with nothing better to do. I’m gonna put a stop to this in the morning.”

Nadia tried to protest, but he shushed her concerns, leaving no room for discussion. He kissed her forehead.

“If this happens again nena, you have to tell me so I can fix it. I can’t help if you don’t let me. Okay?” he held her face in his hands as she nodded, showing she understood.

           He kissed her lips tenderly, savoring the taste of her. It started off slow, but the kiss grew hungrier, more primal than anything before. His tongue slid into her mouth, dancing around each other, until Nadia’s tongue gave in to his, accepting his dominance.

“I’m gonna make you forget all about them hermosa” he whispered into her ear.

           He laid her down on the bed as he began to kiss under her jaw, moving toward her neck and shoulder juncture, suckling her pulse point. She moaned, knowing that tonight was going to be a long one. His hands held her waist, as he slid her shirt up, exposing her stomach. He kissed and nipped along the sides her tummy, forcing her shirt up. He pulled away for a split second, finally pulling her shirt off, getting frustrated with the fabric. He was mesmerized by the way her breasts looked in her black bra; he was practically salivating at the mouth.

“Eres exquisita” he leaned down to kiss her neckline, traveling to her cleavage, nipping at the rise of her left boob, and then the right.

“You have too many clothes on” Nadia said as she slid her hands under his shirt, desperate to feel him as he was feeling her.

           He pulled away to get his shirt off, as Nadia threw her bra across the room. Zabdiel was back on her in seconds, sucking her left nipple into his mouth while he fondled the right breast in his huge hand. His warm mouth was doing wonders for her body, and all the pleasure she felt was shot straight to her core. He kissed the valley in between her breasts and down her stomach, knowing exactly where he was headed. Undoing her zipper, he worked her pants off her body and tossed them to the side of the bed, leaving her in her black underwear. He sniffed between her legs, nuzzling her nub which sent a jolt up her spine.

“Hueles dulce” he sighed as he pulled her panties off her body, leaving her bare.

           He pulled her legs over his shoulders, gripped her thighs, and licked a long stripe up from her slit to her pearl, making her gasp.

“But you taste even sweeter.” Zabdiel was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

           If there was one thing people knew about Zabdiel, it was that he had an oral fixation. He always had something in his mouth, whether it was gum, a lollipop, or in this case, her pussy. And he was an expert with his tongue, knowing just where to lick to get his woman stimulated. He licked in between her lips, just so she could get a feel for him. He then licked at her clit, drawing her favorite star pattern, sending her to another galaxy. Nadia was a moaning mess, her hand flew to where his head was, physically telling him not to move an inch. But Zabdiel wouldn’t dare, he was enjoying this just as much as she was. Knowing that it was him causing his woman so much pleasure, made him painfully hard in his pants. But his woman had to cum first.

“Do you want more, my love?” Nadia was gasping for air, nodding her head frantically, but that wasn’t enough for him.

“Usa tus palabras, hermosa” he breathed into her core as he licked down her slit.

“Yes! Baby please, I need more!” she begged, desperate to chase her high.

           Zabdiel inserted his middle finger into her hot channel, and then his index, massaging her inner walls. He found that one spot inside her that made her back arch, hips rising off the bed. This action made Nadia’s eyes roll in the back of her head; she was gripping the sheets for dear life, whining. She was so close, he just needed to say it. And he knew it too.

“It’s okay nena, I got you. Dale” he sucked her pearl into his mouth, hard.

           That one word and one action, lit her body on fire. Her orgasm was explosive, mind and body in the clouds, she didn’t think she would ever come down. Zabdiel worked her through her orgasm until she returned to earth, drinking up everything she had to give him. He sat up, and peering at his face he looked like a glazed donut. He hopped off the bed for a split second, getting his pants and boxers off in one push. Nadia would have had to seen it a thousand times, but she will never get tired of seeing just how magnificent Zabdiel’s penis was. She reached out to grasp it, but Zabdiel pushed her hand away, leaning over her.

“No nena, tonight is about you. Relájate” he said as he nestled in between her thighs.

           He kissed her first, slow and sensual, pouring out all his emotions in one action. He leaned over to the side to grab a condom out of the night drawer. Once he put the condom on, he lined himself up at her entrance, and ever the gentleman, he peered up at her to make sure she was okay. Holding on to his biceps, she nodded, and he eased the head of his cock into her tight channel, taking the breath out of both of their lungs.

“Carajo nena. Eres tan apretada” he gasped into her ear.

           Once fully seated, he took a minute to let her adjust. No matter how many times they’ve had sex together, his girth always took her by surprise. Zabdiel could feel Nadia hips moving slightly against his, signaling him to move. He drew back his hips all the way, leaving only the tip in to tease her, then he slammed himself back in, to the hilt. His thrusts were slow, making love to her through his actions.

“Eres perfecta” he whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck.

She felt euphoric in every sense of the word; not only was he making her feel good physically, he was also making her feel good emotionally. Every stroke he took pulled all the negative comments out of her mind and replaced them with deep and utter bliss. She was on cloud nine, but she needed to get to the moon. She wanted to forget, and Zabdiel was the only way how.

“Faster, Papi” she pleaded, begging him to take her pain away.

           It was like a switch flipped inside his head. Nadia knew if she wanted a different side of Zabdiel, a more aggressive side, that was the one word that would do the trick. “Domdiel” appeared in a matter of seconds, gripping her hips harder, and his strokes started matching the speed of a jackhammer. Nadia felt him everywhere, from her neck down to her core. She knew there would be bruises in the morning, but she didn’t care, all that mattered was this moment right now.

“Papi, I’m close!” She held on to him for dear life, nails running down his back so hard they almost broke skin.

           Zabdiel was in the same boat, as his thrusts were starting to lose their rhythm. He reached down between her legs, drawing a nice figure eight on her bundle of nerves, sure that it will help her reach a final high.

“Cum for me, Nadia.”

           That was all it took. Her body arched and convulsed off the bed. She screamed out in pleasure as her orgasm washed over her. A white-hot light flooded the back of her eyes, leaving her in a state of pure ecstasy. Zabdiel wasn’t far behind, getting three more pumps in before he stilled, spilling himself into the rubber. He collapsed onto her, but she didn’t mind, welcoming the warmth. After a few seconds Zabdiel got up and retreated to the bathroom to throw away the rubber. He returned to Nadia with a washcloth in hand, leaning down to clean her up, being mindful that she was still very sensitive. When he was finished, he tossed the rag into the laundry hamper, and crawled into bed, snuggling up to his woman.

“Te amo, mi vida” he whispered as he drifted off to slumber.

“Te amo, mi cariño” she said back as sleep overcame her.

           In that moment, Nadia felt at peace. Not anger, not sadness, just simple peace.

Time Jump

           When morning came, Nadia found herself in bed, alone. Finding Zabdiel’s discarded shirt, she slipped it on and made her way to the living room, in search of her boyfriend. The sight that she came across almost made her cry. Zabdiel was on the couch with his phone in hand, going completely off on the fans that were spewing hate towards her. He said that he was disappointed and angry that some of his so-called “fans” would go so far as to hurt his woman intentionally. He also said that true fans would want to see him happy, and that if they were real fans, they would either show you two some love, or just simply be quiet. He saw Nadia out of the corner of his eye and decided to end the video there.

“Ahora si me disculpas, voy a salir con mi mujer.”

           He motioned for her to come sit with him, so she did. He placed her on his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know. I could have gotten over it.” She said as she leaned against his chest.

“You shouldn’t have to. Tú eres mi mujer, and I’m not gonna tolerate any disrespect, no matter who it’s from.” He kissed her on her forehead.

           The two stayed like that for a moment, just basking in the peaceful silence, until Nadia spoke up.

“So the day has just started, what do you want to do?” She looked into his eyes.

“How about my woman decides for today?” He gave his signature dimple-filled smile.

“Your woman? I like the sound of that!” She cheesed as they hugged each other tightly.

           Yeah, their relationship was hard sometimes, but being his woman, makes it all worthwhile.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ PLEGARIAS ❜

Songfic with ‘Plegarias’ by Nicki Nicole.

English lyrics.

with Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas.

Request: Hey love!😻 You're Creeper request inspire me! So can u write something where Creeper & Reader breaks up when Creeper was transfered to Santo Padre. And when Santo Padre go to Stockton years later, Creeper discovers that even when they breaks up, Reader continue to help the club. And then, they go back together? Just fluff,fluff,fluff,love and again fluff 😍😍😍

BY ANON

Warnings: slight mention of depression, angst and fluff.

Word count: About 1.8k

Aurora says: thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford for her opinion and for helping me! ✨

Gif credits: @angels-reyes

Masterlist.

Te encontré plasmado, culpable, deteriorado. Nunca tan amable.

Your eyes traveled from the leather kutte over the bed, to your boyfriend. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, with his head bowed forward and both hands intertwined on his nape. The patches that used to decorate it, now were cutted off, and the new ones were perfectly sewn. You knew exactly what that meant. He just shitted on six years of relationship. You were fourteen when you met him, skipping out of highschool because you were having a bad day and he just made it better, without knowing you. You didn't say anything when you noticed the suitcase behind him, raising his dark and reddened eyes towards you.

Llorando en las iglesias, rogándole a Dios que tenga paciencia, que no se olvide de vos.

He didn't ask you to come with him, because you had a life in Stockton. Your family, your friends, your work, your college. He knew pretty well that you would follow him to the end of times, but he couldn't ask you to fall into hell, just because of him. So Creeper left you there with a pain squeezing your heart that you keep feeling today.

¿Quién mató tu inocencia hoy? Dime dónde está el asesino del cuento.

The first months without knowing anything about him, all that you did was pray. Pray for him like you had never done before. Oscar wasn't allowed to tell you anything else more that he was alive, and that he was close to the Mexicali border. They knew you were suffering, but Creeper asked them to let you continue with your life. But how you could, if he was your life?

Yo voy buscando el final. La historia de hoy, yo te la cuento.

You had to deal with, what doctors called, ‘depression’. But the truth was that every time you closed your eyes, you used to find him smiling at you, telling you how much he loved you. You decided to not sleep, or avoid it as much time possible, so you used to spend the day in bed. Tired, sad, unhappy, feeling miserable.

Until you started to fight, when you understood that he wasn't coming back. You understood why he did what he did, that he just wanted the best for you. And have a life with a wannabe gangster, it wasn't. With Mayans in Stockton, Creeper only took care of simple business, but his new ‘job’ was high-level, dangerous and risky. He couldn't ask you to stay by his side. His love was stronger than drowning you into that shit.

Si voy, calor infernal. Desencuentro fatal. Que ya no te veo…

But you used to tell him: ‘I prefer to die for love, than to die for hate’.

You stopped dreaming with him, even if you kept your promise of praying every night for his soul. Praying to God to not forget him.

Si estás, empieza a gritar. Comienzo a pensar, que ya no te siento.

The pain was disappearing one bite at a time, until you decided to only keep the good things, the good memories of your history. Oscar began to see that you continued coming to the clubhouse, asking less for Creeper, but asking more for the crew. You practically grew up with them, and who was your first love wasn't going to take that away from you too. So the president let you help them with basic stuff; working at the parties, doing the groceries, cooking for them… They considered you like their mom, even if you were much younger than them. You were part of their family, another Mayan morr.

Ay, ay, me duele muy dentro del corazón.

But the pain that you thought you had conquered, was only hidden. And you know that by finding him with his brothers, drinking some beers in the front yard of your club. It's been five years since he left you and, even if you're a woman and not a child anymore, you understand that you are still in love with him, like eleven years ago when you met. Parking your car inside the garage, you step out from it in complete silence, with a box of Jose Cuervo between your arms. Oscar walks towards you, hoping that he has the chance to explain what's going on, but you just smile at him to let him know that everything is okay. You can deal with it.

“They will stay for a couple hours”. He said anyway.

“They're Mayans, I ge—”.

“You are too. Never forget it”.

Nodding in silence, you follow him into the inside, passing them away without saying a single word, until being greeted by your charter with hugs and kisses.

A Dios le rezo, y caigo en los tiempos. Ya no me importa perderme muy dentro.

“Hey, baby girl, Oscar is calling you to the table”.

Medina makes you frown confused. It's the first time in your life that you enter in that Templo while Mayans are reunited. Unless you're bringing them beers. Opening the glass door, you step in. Silence, just a bunch of dark eyes over you, walking with firm steps to the president of your charter. Moving the empty chair by his right side, he urges you to sit down. And you do, with your gaze fixed on his.

“You told me once that you would like to prospect”.

“I did”. You say, curling a leg against your chest, and placing your arm about it.

“In Santo Padre need a new prospect”.

Your orbs travel to the other president, Bishop Losa. Rey de los Mayas. By the look on his face, you know that they're hiding something from your charter, from Oscar. Twisting your neck, you try to figure it out, until he clears his throat because you're making him feel uncomfortable.

“Could you live without me?” Slowly, so slowly, you turn your face to El Oso.

“It's just eight hours away from here, chamaca”.

Te tengo en mi mente todo el tiempo. Todo el tiempo estallo por dentro.

“What are you doing?”

As soon as Stockton charter leaves the Templo, you don't care about the presence of your new family, but Creeper in front of you. He has changed. At least, his look. Wherever you try to find a blank space on his skin, there's another tattoo. Shaved head, black marks under his eyes. The ones that used to shine every day and now look dead.

“Maybe we sh—”. Bishop starts to say, getting up from his chair.

“Sit the fuck down, presidente”. No one is going to fuck with you. Not anymore. “The hell are you playing, Neron?”

“It wasn't our moment”.

Your eyelids widen, with both eyebrows raised up.

“Taking you with me five years ago, it would suppose you were dead today”.

“You didn't have to take me with you, but keep calling, keep texting. You are the one who is dead today”.

“I never stopped loving you”.

“Seriously, gu—”.

“Next time you interrupt us, Mayans gonna have a mute president”. Pointing at Bishop, you give Creeper back your attention. “You destroyed my life. You abandoned me without giving a shit. For what?”

“I paid you for your business here all these years. Your studies, your apartment. And I bought you your bike”.

“No. No, no, no. Mayans did. Oscar. Did”. You reply laughing with a bitter feeling stuck in your throat.

“I have called Oscar every day”.

Y mi corazón se encuentra fatal, que tú ya no me quieres. Esta mierda me va a matar. Que voy por el mundo vacía, pensando en sanar esta herida.

When the men leave the Templo, and Creeper sits in a chair closer to yours, you can't help but break into tears. All the pain that you were fighting against, now is back, seeing how one of his hands hold your right. Feel his touch again, with his fingers getting tangled with yours, is killing you. You can't even look at him. Your gaze is blurred, because of the tears piling up inside your eyes.

“Ain't gonna say that 'am sorry, cause that's bullshit. I just wanted to protect you, but I didn't know that I was pushing you to an emptiness, that was about to end up with your life”. He mutters, trying to keep a firm tone of voice, even if it breaks sometimes. “I tried to do the best for you, without knowing that the best for you is be by my side”.

“Wh—Why now?” You finally ask, licking your bottom lip, raising your head towards him.

“One month ago, in an Arizona run, I was about to die. I was… feeling how I was leaving this world, and I promised to God that if he gave me a second chance… I would come for you”.

Taking off his kutte, the half mexican lifts up his shirt. On his skin there are more tattoos than you can count, but even if you want to focus on the sewn bullet hole over his heart, your attention is on a phrase close to it. “I prefer to die for love, than die for hate”. Under it, your name and the day date you met.

“I have never stopped loving you, (Y/N)”.

Yo voy del infierno al Sol, que vuelvo por ti y sino no lo intento. Búscame, no digas adiós, que solo por ti a Dios le rezo.

His arms surround you, forcing you to sit on his lap as you used to spend the hours. Curling against his chest, Creeper holds you tightly, feeling that warm wrapping your body that begins to melt the cold ice that has your heart captive. Your cry gets loud, sinking your face under his chin. All this time you were hating him for abandoning you, he was just hiding in the shadows, watching over you. His scent floods your lungs, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself. Your fingers get tangled in his shirt, when his lips kiss your forehead so dearly that make disappear all the sadness that was oppressing your chest. He will always have that power in you, as you have in him.

“I love you”. He mutters, feeling how his breath becomes somewhat shaky about to cry too. “Please, come with me”.

Resting his cheek on your head, you cling to his arms, surrounding them with yours the stronger as you can. You don't want him to leave you again. Not a second time.

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[popmusicu]

Why Rain on me (remix) is the latin music we deserve.

Within the not so new controversy about the Latin Grammy, the question once again emerges ¿What is good latin representation in music?.

Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande are one of the biggest and highest grossing stars on the US pop charts. Both signed a feat in the dance pop song "Rain on me" for last year's Gaga's album "Chromatica".

Breaking nº1 in many countries, collecting 338M views on Youtube and earning them a grammy for the best pop duo by the time of this post, there's no doubt about the single's comercial success, but honestly the combination of both names is pretty much one of the safest blueprints for a industry hit you could make. The interesting part came this year with the announcement of a remix album dramatically named "Dawn of chromatica".

Renovating itself in spirit, Dawn of chromatica became so much more than the usual remix album. During the first listen it became apparent how Gaga gave the newest feat artists almost full liberty to alter her originals.

Within strong names associated with the hyperpop genre such as Charli XCX, Shygirl, Dorian Electra and one spectacular display of "brega pop"(a northern brazilian/caribean rythm) by Pabllo Vittar at the "Fun Tonight" remix, the aclamed producer and venezuelan artist Alejandra Ghersi, better known as "Arca", made herself a spot in history with one of the bravest and most challenging mainstream remixes of all time. 

"Rain on me (Arca remix)" first seconds came with a instant clash of one of Arca's last year collabs with Bjork, "Time", featured in her 2020 experimental/industrial pop album "Kick I". I think for the most part of Arca fans, that mixing would have been enough for a pleasant experience, but around the minute or so, between the well known Grande and Gaga's vocals an almost raw sample from Dj Yirvin "Metelo sacalo" starts playing, displacing the expectations of any latin person listening, and maybe surprising one smart US citizen or another.

Dj Yirvin is one the biggest exponents of "Changa Tuki" (also known as "Raptor House"), a homegrown electronic dance subgenre that became esential part of the club scene around the 2000's in Venezuela.

With a width of influences ranging between 90's techno, house and tribal music, "Changa Tuki" found a way to create a club music identity in the Caracas ghetto culture. Eventually dispersing as colateral damage for the Venezuelan political agenda, the subgenre is still relevant at some niche club parties around Peru and some other south american countries. 

To quote Arca's "Mequetrefe"; "ella vino caminando desde su casa, ella no toma taxi, que la vean, que la vean en las calles", Arca once again showed her discomfort not only with gender normativity but also musical taboos.

Often related with classism, ghetto music tends to be looked down in mainstream music and rarely finds their way up, usually trough some pop star that found something "cool" in a latin culture, see by example "Llorando se fue", a single by bolivian folclore group Los Kjarkas, brutally exploitated (originally without giving any sort of acknowledgment) to make the world hit known as "Lambada" and a posterior top billboard song sampling it as big as "On the floor" by Pitbull and JLO.

Arca even closes her statement with flourish and another iconic well known latin mantra; "a mover el culo" repeteadly says by the end, an iconic sentence originally popularized in 1999 in the song "Coolo" by a popular argentinian hip hop, pop rock duo called "Illya Kuryaki and the Valderramas", but then used around the 2000's as a popular catchphrase for reggaeton and latin pop verses.

Latin music at it's worst can be first world artists harnessing latin culture for it's exotical appeal, in ways as simple as Billie Eilish appearing at the cover of top latin mixes in Spotify, or as harmful as the unacknowledgment of The Kjarkas. But at it's best it can be a way to give empowerment to our often "mirada a huevo" latin american culture, a way to realize the richness between our daily creative ways of dealing with precarization, the aftermaths of colonization and our maybe economically but never culturally underdeveloped countries.

Post by Alejandro Montecinos Spotorno.

[javier-djarin]

Como Me Duele: Chapter 8

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count:  3,563 words

Warnings: Language, Smut, Soft!Javi

Masterlist

(Gif source @thewaythisis)

Summary: Your relationship with Javi is tested after a tragic incident. You worry about his sanity, and he’s more concerned with your safety.

A/N: This chapter was fun to write, even though parts of it just hurt so much. For those of you that don’t know, the title of this fic translates to “Oh how it hurts.” Thank you again for all the love and support! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you think. Please let me know if you want to be on my tag list! Chapter 9 coming soon! Also, translations are at the bottom.

Your POV

“Anoche hubo una emboscada que resultó en varias muertes de oficiales del Bloque de Búsqueda. Se desconoce si hay sobrevivientes. Entre los muertos está el coronel Carrillo. Muchos sospechan que Pablo Escobar estaba detrás del ataque.” 

That was the news broadcast you woke up to, which instantly caused your heart to drop. Javi didn’t come home last night, and Steve wasn’t answering your calls. You grabbed your house coat and walked down the hall to his apartment and knocked. Much to your surprise, Connie answered. 

As soon as you saw her, you burst into tears. You knew if she was back, something happened. “Where’s Steve?”

She cracked the door open and you saw him sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand and his head bowed. You ran to him and knelt in front of him. “What happened?”

He just shook his head. 

“Where’s Javi?”

“He’s fine. We weren’t allowed to go on the raid,” he mumbled.

Thank God, you thought. You could kiss their new boss. 

“The information that Javi got….” he paused and tried to swallow some tears. “It was a set up.” His voice cracked just a little, but enough to show that he was upset.

Connie came over and sat in the chair next to their couch, leaning over her knees. 

“Where’s Javi?” you asked again. “He didn’t come home last night.”

Steve shrugged. “The last time I saw him, he was halfway through a bottle of whiskey at the office.”

You sighed, hoping he fell asleep at the office. You slowly stood up. “Maybe he’s made it back by now.”

Shuffling your feet, you headed for the door, but Connie stopped you. She wrapped you in a hug. “He’s going to be fine.”

You nodded as you turned back towards your apartment. Your door was opened, and you saw Javi sitting on the couch, staring at the blank TV Screen. “Javi!” You exclaimed as you closed the door and ran to him. You knelt in front of him and rested your hands on his knees. “I was so worried. I thought….”

“Don’t,” he mumbled.

You froze, unsure of what to say. You just waited for him to speak again. He sat in silence for a long time before looking at you. “It’s all my fault.” Tears brimming at the edge of his eyes.

“How could you have known?” you whispered.

“I-I should have known better.”

You crawled onto the couch next to him and pulled his head into your lap. He turned into you, burying his face in your shirt. “Javi, this is not your fault,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair. “There is no way you could have known this was bad intel.”

He sat up and looked at you. “My intel got good men murdered at the hands of that motherfucker. I knew it was too good to be true!”

You tried to remain calm, as you understood this was his grieving process. “Javi, you didn’t pull the trigger. You didn’t tell Carrillo and his men to follow the information.”

“It was my lead.”

You saw a piece of paper in his hand. ��What’s that?”

He looked down at his clenched fist. “It’s the address of that bitch who set us up.” He stood up and walked to the door. 

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” He stormed out of the apartment, leaving you helpless. You felt the tears you were holding back spill over. You were hurting for Javi, and you had no idea how to help him. He was so lost, so broken. You felt like anything you did to help him just made things worse.

His POV

He sat in his Jeep for several minutes staring at the garage wall. He felt like shit for the way he treated her, but then again, he was used to feeling like shit. Javi knew she was just trying to help, but he didn’t want it. No, he didn’t deserve it. He deserved every bit of the pain he felt, every sliver of regret and survivor’s guilt. He was supposed to be with that raid. He should be dead alongside Carrillo. He was hurting, hurting so bad that he didn’t know how to process or deal with it. He looked at the address in his hand, and suddenly the guilt was gone, replaced by white hot rage.

He backed out of the garage and headed for Search Bloc to find Trujillo. It was time for some justice, even if he had to dole it out himself.

***

They were sitting outside a random building they followed Limón to. It wasn’t until he left did they see Velasco was in there. He dialed Search Bloc’s number. “It’s Peña. Estoy aquí con Trujillo en la esquina de las calles 38 y 24. Necesitamos una copia de seguridad.”

“Lo siento, pero no hay autorización para despachar patrullas,” dispatch replied.

“Estamos viendo a uno de los muchachos de Escobar. Acaba de entrar al edificio,” he growled into the phone.

“Regrese a la base con la ubicación.”

He hung up the phone and mumbled to himself, “Cierto. Y aparecerás el próximo martes, Hijo de puta.”

There was no way just he and Trujillo could take on the entire building. They needed back up, but their back up was useless. Frustrated, he grabbed the phone again and dialed a number he knew he would regret. It wasn’t until Don Berna and The Castaño brothers were walking up to him did he feel the pit of his stomach drop. There was no going back from this, no matter how bad he wished he could just walk away.

Your POV

For the last three days, Javi had been in Medellín without so much as a call. You cried yourself to sleep every one of those nights worrying about him. You called Steve this morning, and he told you that Javi was fine; just busy with work. That didn’t make you worry any less. He was hurting, and you were afraid this pain was going to send him down a road he’d never come back from. With everyone gone, including Connie back to the States, you picked up more hours at work to pass the time. 

You were standing at the nurses’ station looking through a patient’s file when Dr. Rodriguez approached you. “¿Está todo bien?”

“Sí. Está todo bueno,” you replied, afraid to look up and meet his gaze.

He smiled at you. “No te creo. Parece que hace estado llorando.”

You bottom lip quivered, and a few tears fell on to the paper. “Estoy bien.”

He gently grabbed you by the arm and led you into an empty patient room. “¿Que pasa?”

You took several deep breaths before looking up into his eyes. They were filled with concern, which warmed your heart that he cared. “Mi novio. Estoy preocupada por él. Tiene un tiempo difícil con el trabajo y no le he visto en un rato.”

“Su novio, ¿es esto que hombre de la barra? Javi?”

You nodded. You watched him as he contemplated what to say next. “¿Quieres salir conmigo esta noche? Te ayudará a distraerte.”

You felt your heart race. You knew Dr. Rodriguez liked you, you’ve known since that night at the club. As much as you wanted a distraction, you knew he would be the wrong kind. He would push the boundaries as coworkers and friends. So you shook your head. “No. Quiero estar en casa, por si llama.”

“No puede esperarlo para siempre,” he said, annoyed at your rejection.

“Para él, esperaría para siempre,” you said, knitting your eyebrows together.

He shook his head and walked out of the room, saying, “Hace un error grande.”

You grabbed the phone off the wall and dialed the office in Medellín. It rang several times before someone answered. “Javier Peña, por favor,” you said.

The phone rang a few more times. “Peña,” his deep baritone came through the receiver.

“Javi,” you breathed. Hearing his voice immediately relaxed you. “Javi,” you started to cry.

“Hey,” he soothed, “what’s wrong, mi vida?”

You tried to stop the tears, but they kept coming. “I’ve been so worried about you, and I haven’t heard from you in days….and….”

“Shhh, hermosa. I am okay,” he said, “I’ve just been swamped here.” You heard another phone, his cellphone, ring in the background. “I’ve got to go.” He hung up.

Your heart broke. For the first time in months, he didn’t bother to say “I love you.” Tears flowed down your face, this pain was almost worse than when Michael betrayed you. You sighed and wiped your eyes. You still had to finish your shift, no matter how bad this hurt.

As usual, your shift passed slowly, but once you got home, you were able to sit and breathe. You looked at the phone, debated on calling him again. Despite what you wanted, you decided not calling was for the best. He wanted to be alone for a bit, and you were going to let him, no matter how much that pained you. 

His POV

It was late and he was sitting at his desk, staring into the bottom of his glass. Shit was hitting the fan, and he was in the middle of it all. To top everything off, Los Pepes emerged as a vigilante group - the very group he was working with. He cursed that call that interrupted them. It was dispatch telling him they found Velasco’s body. The longer he thought about that call, the more he regretted avoiding her. She deserved better than that. Better than him. The second he called Berna, he was no longer on the side of the good guys, and she deserved only the best. Now that he was allied with a narco, he knew this would only end one way. She was no longer safe down here. He sighed and looked at the clock. It was 11:30. She would be asleep, but he needed to hear her voice one last time.

The phone rang only twice before she answered. “Hello,” she said. He could tell she had been crying. 

“Mi vida,” his voice cracked.

“Javi? Is everything alright?” Her voice trembling.

His heart burst. She was hurting and all she cared about was him. “I’m fine.” He sighed. “I think you should go home.”

She gasped. “What? No.”

His voice was the one trembling now. “Please, for me.”

“Javi, I’m not leaving you.”

“Things are getting dangerous, and I just want to keep you out of harm’s way.”

“And what about you? Don’t I get a say?” Her voice grew louder.

“Don’t worry about me, Y/N. I’m going to get exactly what I deserve.” His heart was racing now. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Javi?”

He ran his hand down his face. “It means exactly what it sounds like.”

The other end of the line was silent. He could have sworn she’d hung up if he didn’t hear the tiny muffled sobs coming from the other end. “Hermosa,” he whispered.

“Fine, I’ll go.”

His blood turned to ice. 

“On one condition. You tell me the truth. Why do you want me gone? And don’t give me that bullshit of ‘you think I’ll be happier with someone better than you’, because that won’t happen. There is no one better than you. So, dime la verdad.”

He wanted to smile at her, run to her and kiss her like it was their last. But the days of smiling had long passed when he killed his brothers. He might not have pulled the trigger, but he signed their warrant. He took several deep breaths. “Because I’ve made some very dangerous friends down here that scare me where you’re concerned.”

“Javi, what did you do?”

“Sold what was left of my soul. But I refuse to let them take my heart, which is why I need it to get home. Back to the states, where you’re safe from them.”

“Okay,” she agreed, though he could tell she was crying again. “But the minute something catastrophic happens, I’m on the first flight back. You’re not going to suffer alone. Not when you have someone who loves you as much as I do.”

He felt himself breathe again; relieved she was listening to him. “I will send someone from the embassy to pick you up. They will stay with you until you are on the plane.”

“Javi?” She said softly.

“Yes, mi vida.”

“Cuídate, mi amor.”

“Siempre, mi hermosa.” He paused, not wanting to hang up the phone. “Te quiero, Y/N. Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo.”

“Te quiero, Javi. Te quiero mucho.” She hung up the phone, while he kept the line open until he heard the dial tone again.

He wanted to change his mind, have her stay. But he knew that was selfish. She was going to be in the crosshairs the entire time, and he couldn’t risk that. He needed to keep her safe, even if it was at the expense of his suffering. Now he understood why Steve was more on edge than ever. He found his one, the fabled person he’s meant to be with, and now that he was sending her away, he felt like he was cutting off a limb. He felt alone.

Your POV

You woke up the next morning and called the hospital. You were working the night shift,  but you told them that a family emergency took place and you needed to take a few days with your family. Your flight left at night, which gave you plenty of time to pack. You were only expecting to be gone for no more than a week. It broke your heart at the thought of leaving him here, but you knew it was the only way he would have a peace of mind.

It was about 9:00 AM when you heard a knock at your door. You wrapped your robe around you and answered the door. Much to your surprise, Javi was waiting on the other side. The second he saw you, his lips found yours. He closed the door behind him and lifted you in his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. You didn’t care about talking right now. You were just happy to have him in your arms again.

He gently set you on the bed as you stripped free of your robe. His eyes lit up when he saw you were wearing his Fleetwood Mac concert T-shirt as pajamas, but there was no smile. Your heart broke, and for a second you worried that you would never see him smile again. But in that moment, you decided to make it your mission to bring the smile back. You knew today, your last day together for a while, was not going to be that day. But soon, you would see his beautiful smile again.

Slowly, Javi slid off his shirt from your body before undoing his own. He was wearing the blue button down you loved on him, but you loved it even better off. He leaned down to kiss you delicately, and then passionately. His lips and tongue tasted yours as you both let your hands explore your favorite parts. Yours quickly found his belt as you started to undo it. Without leaving your lips, he helped you, and as he stood a little to slide them off, you raised too, so you wouldn’t lose that connection. As you laid back down, his hands ran down your body at an excruciating slow pace; almost as if he was savoring every inch of you and committing it to memory. You arched your back and deepened your kiss as he massaged your breasts. His hands had never felt so good on your skin before. His touch was almost enough to send you over the edge. 

He rested his hands on your hips as he kissed your neck and jaw, your hands grabbing fists full of his hair. “Javi,” you said his name with a sigh.

“Mi amor,” he said, his warm breath causing goosebumps on your skin. “Mi vida.” He planted a kiss between your breasts. “Mi hermosa.” He kissed your stomach. “Mi perfecta.” 

Tears fell down your cheeks. You felt like this was less “I’ll miss you” and more “goodbye.” But instead of focusing on that, you focused on the man between your legs making the most passionate love to you. 

He kissed the insides of your thighs, your body already aching for him. You cried out when you felt his mouth where you wanted him. He groaned against you, the vibrations sending you even further into your ecstasy. He licked his fingers and gently placed them in you as his thumb rubbed your clit. He moved the rest of his body up to your face as he kissed you. He didn’t have to say it, but you knew he wanted you to look into his eyes when you came. His fingers moved methodically and slowly as you ground your hips into his palm. You grabbed his other arm with your hand, while the other gripped the sheets. “Come for me, hermosa,” he whispered as he looked down on you with all the love and desire in his eyes.

It only took a few more seconds, and your body clenched around him as you came. You continued to look into his eyes as you cried out his name. He kissed you deeply, taking his name off your lips. “I need you, Javi,” you said, breathless.

He kissed you again. “I need you, mi corazon.” His voice cracked. 

You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him to you. This time you kissed him deeper, opening your mouth to welcome him. His kiss was desperate, passionate, bittersweet. He slid into you with ease and you held him. “I never want to leave this moment,” you said, kissing his cheeks and then his eyes. You noticed they were wet, but you didn’t say anything. Because so were yours. He filled you completely, perfectly, and you never wanted him to leave.

He moved slowly, pulling back and then carefully thrusting in; trying to make this moment last a lifetime. You whimpered and bit your bottom lip as you looked into his eyes, eyes that you could get completely lost in. You grabbed his hair with one hand and the other ran down his back. You could feel every ripple and muscle in his body with every movement. He leaned down to kiss you, again, like he couldn’t get enough of your taste. He moved just a little faster, and she moaned into his kiss. “Oh, Javi,” you cried. 

He moaned your name back, almost like a prayer. ‘Te quiero, mi corazon,” he said.

More tears fell down your face. “Te quiero, el amor de mi vida.”

You met each of his thrusts with the grinding of your hips. His slow pace was wonderful and excruciating. Your body craved more, but you knew that meant he would be gone sooner. “J-javi,” you moaned.

He groaned as his name fell off your lips and you felt him move faster. He knew just what you needed to send you over the edge into your euphoria. He licked his thumb and placed it between the two of you to create the right amount of friction. You cried out and arched your back. Soon, you were coming, a wave of pleasure washing over you, burning your body inside and out. You cried out again as he continued. You looked in his eyes and saw he was trying to hold on as long as possible. After you came again, he gave in to his desire and followed you soon after, saying your name again. 

He collapsed on your chest, remaining inside of you. He kissed you again. “I wish you could stay,” he finally admitted, “but I refuse to keep you in danger. I can’t concentrate on my job until I know you’re safe.”

You kissed him lightly. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

He rolled over and pulled you against him. Kissing the top of your head. “I’m taking you to the airport tonight.”

As happy as you were that he was taking you, you asked, “Are you sure? What about the embassy?”

He ran his fingers up and down your arm, sending chills all over your body. “I’ve done enough for them. They can spare me for a day.”

You curled up next to him, listening to his breathing. It was ragged and slow. As much as you wanted to stay, you promised him you’d leave, you’d stay safe. You loved him enough to leave him. “When this is over, come home to me,” you said.

“Of course,” he replied, but you could tell in the tone of his voice he didn’t believe he’d survive this. Whatever or Whomever he “sold his soul” to was going to cash in on that deal before this was all said and done. You felt your heart ache. You wanted to take him with you, protect him from whatever was going to come his way. Something told you he believed this was it, but you refused to let him be right. You would get your Javi back if it was the last thing you did.

Translations

Anoche hubo una emboscada que resultó en varias muertes de oficiales del Bloque de Búsqueda. Se desconoce si hay sobrevivientes. Entre los muertos está el coronel Carrillo. Muchos sospechan que Pablo Escobar estaba detrás del ataque. - Last night there was an ambush with resulted in several deaths of officers from Search Block. It is unknown if there are any survivors. Among the dead is Colonel Carrillo. Many suspect that Pablo Escobar was behind the attack.

Estoy aquí con Trujillo en la esquina de las calles 38 y 24. Necesitamos una copia de seguridad. - I'm here with Trujillo at the corner

of 38th and 24th streets. We need back up.

Lo siento, pero no hay autorización para despachar patrullas. - I'm sorry, but there's no authorization to dispatch patrols.

Estamos viendo a uno de los muchachos de Escobar. Acaba de entrar al edificio. - We're watching one of Escobar's guys. He just entered the building.

Regrese a la base con la ubicación. - Return to base with the location.

Cierto. Y aparecerás el próximo martes, Hijo de puta. - Sure. And you'll show up next Tuesday, son of a bitch.

¿Está todo bien? - Is everything okay?

Sí. Está todo bueno. - Yes, everything’s fine.

No te creo. Parece que hace estado llorando. - I don’t believe you. You look like you’ve been crying.

Estoy bien. - I’m fine.

¿Que pasa? - What’s going on?

Mi novio. Estoy preocupada por él. Tiene un tiempo difícil con el trabajo y no le he visto en un rato. - My boyfriend. I'm worried about him. He's having a hard time at work, and I haven't seen him in a while.

Su novio, ¿es esto que hombre de la barra? Javi? - Your boyfriend, is it that man from the bar? Javi?

¿Quieres salir conmigo esta noche? Te ayudará a distraerte. - Do you want to go out with me tonight? It will help distract you.

No. Quiero estar en casa, por si llama. - No. I want to stay home, in case he calls.

No puede esperarlo para siempre. - You can’t wait for him forever.

Para él, esperaría para siempre. - For him, I would wait forever.

Hace un error grande. - You’re making a big mistake.

Dime la verdad. - Tell me the truth.

Te quiero más que a nada en el mundo. -  I love you more than anything in the world.

El amor de mi vida. - The love of my life.

Tag List

@larakasser​ @magneticbucky​ @pedropascalownsmyheart​ @wander-lustbabe​ @frietiemeloen​

[queerdetectiveblue]

Detective Playlist

Thank you so much for the tag dear!! @tracing-freckled-constellations 

Tagging anyone who wants to!🥰

Charlotte Kingston Li: Morgan

La Llorona cover by Natalia Lafourcade

Spanish

No sé que tienen las flores, llorona / Las flores de un campo santo / Que cuando las mueve el viento, llorona / Parece que están llorando / Ay de mí llorona, llorona, llorona de un campo lirio / El que no sabe de amores llorona / No sabe lo que es martirio

English

I don't know what it is with the flowers, crying girl / The flowers of a cemetery / That, when moved by the wind, crying girl / They seem to cry / Oh, my crying girl, crying girl, crying girl, from a lily field / He who does not know about love / Does not know about martyrdom

Bedroom Hymns by Florence + The Machine

This is as good a place to fall as any / Will you build our altar here? / Make me your Maria / I'm already on my knees / Such selfish prayers / And I can't get enough

Strangers by Halsey

She doesn't kiss me on the mouth anymore / Cause it's more intimate, than she thinks we should get / She doesn't look me in the eyes anymore / Too scared of what she'll see, somebody holding me

Ilomilo by Billie Eilish

The world's a little blurry / Or maybe it's my eyes / Said I couldn't love someone / 'Cause I might break / If you're gonna die, not by mistake / So, where did you go? / I should know, but it's cold / And I don't wanna be lonely / So tell me you'll come home / Even if it's just a lie

Vanishing by Anaiis 

You'll be blinded by my light before I show it's all pointing out / But inside's dark as a cave after midnight / You can save me, it's alright / 'Cause it won't ease my grief / See my vanishing point is a trick of the mind / Late to make your way back / It's never too late

Kings by The Pierces

If we want to / We could what Kings do / I can feel the earth move when you speak / If we fight through / All the things we once knew / Everything would change for me and you

Leith Park Li: Nate

Hurricane by Fleurie

Comin' like a hurricane, I take it in real slow / The world is spinning like a weather vane / Fragile and composed / Though I am breaking down again / I am aching now to let you in / The sky burns red against your skin / The world we know turns in the wind

We Don’t Believe What’s on TV by Twenty One Pilots

I need to know / That when I fail you'll still be here, mmm / 'Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds / An' we'll make money selling your hair / I used to say I wanna die before I'm old / But because of you, I might think twice

100 Years Florence + The Machine

Then it's just too much / I cannot get you close enough / A hundred arms, a hundred years / You can always find me here / And, Lord, don't let me break this / Let me hold it lightly / Give me arms to pray with / Instead of ones that hold too tightly / I let him sleep and as he does / My held breath fills the room with love

Sunlight by Hozier

I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight / Oh, your love is sunlight / Oh, all these colors fade for you only / Hold me, carry me slowly, my sunlight / Each day, you'd rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty

[majolivane]

Okay, Endgame tiene muchos buenos momentos, pero ¿Podemos apreciar este señor final?

Ella llorando porque, honestamente, ¿Cómo imaginarse que volvería a verlo?

Él con sus ojitos cerrados, como si estuviera pensando "Por fin, voy a ser feliz". Ya sé que a quien le dicen "Ya puedes descansar" es a Tony, pero yo creo que también fue por fin cuando Steve pudo darse su descanso de ser el hombre, soldado y líder perfecto.

¡Y LA CANCIOOOOON, LA PUTA CANCIÓOON!

"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice

Then kiss me once again

It's been a long, long time..."

¿ASI O MÁS PRECISA? Por no mencionar que era LA canción para los soldados que regresaban de la guerra.

Steve se merecía un final feliz. Y cada vez que lo veo siento bien bonito y creo un poquito más en el amor.

[serialksser]

ღ para los dos ships 😌

justine y omar. 

♡ who’s the first to wake up in the morning: justine es súper morning person, probablemente se despierta sin alarma tipo seis de la mañana ya porque su reloj biológico es así ¿?  ♡ who’s the one to make breakfast: también justine. como se despierta tan temprano, se pone activa desde la mañana. saca sus galletitas o pastelitos del congelador y seguro que le cocina algo rico a omar para que no se vaya sin desayunar al trabajo *crying emoji* ♡ who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed: OMAR, en los días en los que justine se despierta tarde, me da la impresión de que omar se levanta para llevarle el desayunito a la cama 🥺 ♡ who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work: ...ooF no haré comentarios al respecto pero sé que es justine ♡ who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day: ayyy, podrían ser los dos, pero siento que es omar quien la convence de que se quede con él dándole besitos y justine es débil so she does <3 AS SHE SHOULD ♡ who chooses the movies: probablemente justine porque tiene gustos muy particulares y es bien picky con lo que ve, perdónala de antemano ¿? ♡ who initiates kissing during the movie, thus distracting the other from the movie all together: siento que justine pero sólo si la película que escogió la termina aburriendo JAJAJAJA perdónala de antemano pordos  ♡ who orders lunch: justine porque a omar a veces se le olvida :( y ella quiere que siempre coma y tenga hábitos sanitos ♡ who steals food from the other’s plate without asking: ptm otra vez justine JAJAJAJA la odio lowkey ♡ who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy: hm... siento que podría ser cualquiera de los dos pero imaginarme a omar quedándose dormido en el hombro de justine me pone SOFT así que diré que él  ♡ who distracts the other from trying to work at home: siento que justine siempre se pone a preguntar de todo mientras que omar hace bosquejos para sus tatuajes y lo distrae JAJAJAJA ♡ who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old: ay siento que es omar y justine full dice que sí y obvio conocen lugares de helado vegano donde pueden ir a comer sin culpas ♡ who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream: justine tiene todo su camera roll lleno de omar fight me ♡ who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face: ...también justine ♡ who cooks dinner: omar! ya después de que justine le hizo el desayunito, él hace la cena <3 ♡ who cleans up the kitchen afterwards: ¡ambos! una relación es 50/50 ahre ♡ who stays up until 2 reading: hm... siento que quizá omar, pero no leyendo, tal vez dibujando o haciendo algo más ♡ who stares at their partner while their sleeping: omar 🥺 ♡ who kisses their partner while they sleep: oMAR DE NUEVO ya estoy llorando nadie me hable

tiffany y quentin. 

♡ who’s the first to wake up in the morning: quentin porque lo despierta su perro JAJAJAJA no porque quiera, es que es padre soltero ¿? ♡ who’s the one to make breakfast: probablemente tiffany porque quentin no sabe ni prender la estufa (prometo que aprenderá) ♡ who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed: quentin cuando por fin aprenda a hacer otra cosa que no sea cereal con leche ♡ who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work: ...quentin  ♡ who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day: quentin otra vez pinche morro nada más quiere besuquearse a tiffany aunque who could blame him honestamente ♡ who chooses the movies: ¡ambos! pero siento que quentin siempre le da prioridad a las decisiones de tiffany porque quiere ver lo que a ella le gusta  ♡ who initiates kissing during the movie, thus distracting the other from the movie all together: quentin pero intenta controlarse porque a veces están viendo cosas chidas y todo se lo pierde por andar de CALIENTE ♡ who orders lunch: ¡tiffany! siento que quentin es alguien súper fácil de complacer, entonces cualquier cosita le gustaría uwu ♡ who steals food from the other’s plate without asking: siento que quentin siempre le ofrece antes de que tiffany pueda siquiera agarrar JAJAJA ♡ who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy: QUENTIN el morro es 90% himbo 10% naps ♡ who distracts the other from trying to work at home: quentin pero lo hace sin querer 🥺  ♡ who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old: QUENTIN esta tampoco es pregunta difícil ♡ who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream: tiffany porque quentin siempre se llena todo de helado, no sabe comer como a normal human being ♡ who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face: ...probablemente quentin pero sin darse cuenta de que es un comentario de doble sentido, once again... cero neuronas ♡ who cooks dinner: quentin cuando aprenda a hacerlo ¿? por el momento, tiffany ♡ who cleans up the kitchen afterwards: lowkey siento que ninguno de los dos JAJAJA dejan los platos de la noche amontonados y después en la mañana lloran de que tienen mucho que limpiar ♡ who stays up until 2 reading: oof... siento que ninguno de los dos ¿? ♡ who stares at their partner while their sleeping: qUENTIN como que no puede creer que tiffany esté con él entonces siempre la mira como 🤩 ♡ who kisses their partner while they sleep: quentin porque he’s dumb and babie

[maree-ff]

Chapter 30

CAMILA

Today is my best friend's wedding. Jessica and Matthew are finally tying the knot. The first time she was with Matt I never got to meet him but Jess always spoke highly of him. When they announced that they were having a baby, I was shocked beyond belief. Matt proposed to her the first Christmas holiday that we all spent together so their love story is somewhat traditional. Which was all Jessica’s mother wanted for her. They chose to hold off on the wedding until their little girl was old enough to walk and talk. Now that the day has finally come everything is moving so fast. 

I got the girls and the baby up kind of early because we needed to be at the beach house by a certain time. Matt and Andre are making last minute trips to the different venues we have reserved to ensure this day will be as hassle free as possible. Jessica and Matt didn’t want to spend a fortune on a location plus extra wedding costs so Andre and I offered them the beach house as an introduction to their wedding presents from us. 

Although today is about celebrating the love of my best friend and future brother-in-law, it’s also another day of grieving for my family. Karissa passed away on January 2nd at the hands of Chris. After that fight between the guys, our relationship with Karissa was strained. She didn’t call as often as she used to but I know there were other reasons for that. There was tension coming from all sides but Zoe was the only person to keep us together as friends/co-parents. Chris filed charges against both Andre and I, and came at us hard but Paz managed to bypass jail time for Andre so I’m very relieved. Dre is never again allowed to purchase a weapon of any kind and that’s a court order. His gun license was revoked and shredded in front of everyone in the courtroom. Luckily for the safety of our family, I still have a few guns locked away.

Zoe went to stay with her mother for the remainder of the holidays and she was then able to meet Chris. Andre threw a huge fit and went off because he didn’t want Zoe breathing the same air that Chris did. However, Karissa really wanted to spend time with their daughter so Andre had no choice but to push aside his personal hatred for Chris to keep the peace. Zoe called home on her second day in Texas to tell me that Chris made her feel uncomfortable. She and I spoke thoroughly about her feelings towards him and once she felt a little more at ease, so did I.

Two days after that, Zoe called again saying that she hid from Chris when he stopped by her mom’s house. For three hours she hid in a closet so he wouldn’t find her. When she called later that same day once Kari had returned from work, she was really missing home. Zoe said she was so afraid of Chris that she didn’t want to be around him any longer. I had Zoe put her mom on the phone so I could talk to her directly about everything that happened so far. She kept saying that Zoe was just exaggerating but I knew better. I sensed a lot of fear and uncertainty in Karissa’s voice when we spoke. She tried and failed to pull the wool over my eyes regarding Zo’s feelings about her man. 

I was mature and kept the conversation respectful because I didn’t want to offend Karissa or bring about unnecessary drama. Now the fourth time Zoe called me just in the first week of her being in Texas, I made Andre go and get her. He took the first flight out to Dallas at midnight to get our little girl. Zoe was a mess when she called me. She was crying so much and she sounded so broken. Lately I’ve been teaching the girls about their body and which parts do what, being as they’re growing up and their bodies are approaching the pubescent stage in life. They understand all of what I’ve taught them so far. They also understand that it’s not okay for anyone to touch them intimately for a long, long time. 

Andre didn’t let me know when he landed in Dallas. I more so got that text the following night. He, as I, was enraged when Zoe told him what happened at her moms. He was so pissed that he beat the shit out Chris but didn’t kill him surprisingly. Andre and Karissa had an emotional blow out. Zoe called to talk to Kenja and I while the fight was happening and I couldn’t believe what I heard. Chris touching Zoe inappropriately introduced all of us to a new side of Andre that not even I knew he had. Andre filed for sole custody of Zoe being that he no longer felt she would be safe with Karissa. I stood by Andre through the whole ordeal for the sake of Zoe’s health, state of mind and safety. 

When Dre and Zoe finally returned home, he didn’t let her out of his sight. Andre apologized every hour on the hour hoping to take Zo’s pain away and makeup for what happened. About a week later of being glued to her dad’s hip, Zoe eventually gravitated towards me. I was saddened that she was apologizing for such an event that she did not orchestrate nor deserve. She kept asking why Chris touched her in places she didn’t like and I couldn’t even answer. Me being the super emotional woman I am, I struggled with not having a breakdown over that whole situation. She and I had a lengthy and emotional discussion. I ensured her several times over that what Chris did was in no way her fault. No girl should feel ashamed for being touched in such a way they don’t agree to.

When news broke that Chris murdered Karissa, Dre went ape shit. He loved Karissa in a much different way that I was fine with. She’ll always be the mother of his first child so the value she held to his life is different from mine. Chris received a life sentence for first degree murder and child molestation with no chance of parole. When it came time for the funeral Andre and Zoe were a wreck. Kenja and I stepped back to give Andre and Zoe some time to grieve the way they needed to.

 Zoe didn’t understand where her mom was going nor the purpose of death. Karissa didn’t want to be buried so we had her cremated like she wished to be. Her ashes are now at the house with us. Any time Dre goes to be with what’s left of her, he loses himself. He doesn’t cry nor does he speak. Instead he goes to a different place for at least an hour every other day. 

Zoe has been dealing with her mother’s death in a very strange way. For some reason Zoe doesn’t like for Karissa to be addressed as her mother anymore. She’s mad and deeply hurt that Karissa didn’t believe her when she said Chris made her uncomfortable. I ask Zoe why she no longer wants ties to Kari and her reply always makes me tear up. “You’re my mommy. Not her..” are her exact words. Clearly, I’ve been a mother to her ever since Dre and I started raising the girls together but now it’s like I’m the only mother she’s ever had. She doesn’t even go near Karissa’s ashes. Instead she always tries to throw the urn away. Dre and Zoe have argued about what to do with Karissa’s remains. Zoe hates her mother for not believing in her. She’s so angry but when I remove her from around the urn, she settles down. 

“Mamá,” Kenja announced. 

Turning over on my side I removed my headphones as we made eye contact. “Sí bebé?” 

“Jorden está llorando.” Kenja said, eating a sandwich that Jess made her.

Getting out of bed I went over to where Kenja sat and lifted Jorden out of his bassinet feeling bad that I wasn’t listening out for him. I changed him twice before putting him down to sleep so he must be ready to eat now. I walked over the bed, getting comfortable to feed him. Unbuttoning my jersey, I tossed my hair behind my back. Jorden found me before I had the chance to lift him higher up. His hand cupped my right shoulder as his fingers searched around for my hair. I think he’s starting to find comfort and enjoyment out of playing in my hair while he’s feasting. Airily I started giggling, presenting my unkempt hair to occupy his busy little hands. 

“Oh Jorden Ali Maree, eres siempre jugando con mi cabello al igual que tu padre. Pero está bien.” I laughed some more at how excited Jo is to play with my hair.

“Camila! Something is wrong! It’s not fitting!” I heard Jess cry from upstairs.

Laughing at her struggles I got out of bed, pushing my feet into my slippers. “Vamos Kenja..” I called her. She and I reached the third floor finding Zoe laid out on the bed stuffing her face with bananas. 

“Chica perezosa.” Kenja taunted her, going to snag a banana for herself. 

“I am not.” Zoe retaliated after Kenja unpeeled her banana only to break off a piece and shove it in her mouth.

“Aren’t you supposed to be helping tia?” I asked, heading for the bathroom.

“I was but then I got hungry so she said I can have a break. Is he almost done? I want to play with him.” Zoe followed me into the bathroom trying to get a good look at the baby. He’s not worried about anything but my hair and left breast. 

“Let him finish eating mi amor and then you can have him.” Pausing my steps I shook my head as Jessica tried to inch herself further into this slip that goes underneath her gown. “Wow, that slip cost an even two-fifty and you’re laying on the floor with it.” I muttered, lifting Jorden higher.

Jess rolled over on her stomach to scowl at me. “Don’t start with me bruja. I need the slip to fit and I need one now. You think maybe Matt will go and pick up another for me?” 

Nodding assuringly I occupied space on the new rug Andre bought for this bathroom with Zoe next to me. The two of us occupied our time until I heard the door open. Having a strange feeling I pulled Jorden off my breast and fixed my appearance. He began to cry and fuss and while I hate to interrupt him I want to check out who's all here.

“Hold him for a minute, please.” With Jess keeping the kids I was able to sneak off downstairs to see who was here. I even managed to get my gun out of my purse just in case. I quietly crept down the stairs and up to the entrance of the kitchen. I can’t tell if the person was Andre or not based on the fact that I can’t see any tattoos.

The guy leaned over to set the bridesmaids gowns on the counter giving up his identity.

“Stop.” I demanded.

He turned around and when I locked eyes with Andre I took off my slippers to hurl them at his head. 

“Aye girl, watch it.” He snickered, situating the gowns so they didn’t fall on the floor.

“What the hell did I tell you about sneaking around like that?! It’s not funny. I didn’t even know it was you.” I argued strongly.

“So you’re gonna shoot me? You’re like three years and many opportunities too late baby.” He joked, pushing his hat off and set his belongings on the counter.

“You can do better than that. Our kids and my best friend are upstairs, you could’ve been anybody so yeah I brought my gun.” I grumbled.

“Hey, I’m not knocking your instincts. I'll tell you how sexy you look holding a gun?” He smiled, standing right in front of me.

“All the time.” I nodded, tucking my gun in the back of my pants. With the safety still on I greeted Dre with the same amount of love I always do.

“You miss me?” He asked, kissing my cheek and resting his hands on my hips.

“Claro que si, amor. How did it go with the priest and the caterers?” Dre and I discussed little details of the wedding we are responsible for. “Does everyone have the address to get here? I don’t want anyone getting lost and being late or not showing up at all.”

“Everything is fine, Camila. I made some calls to make sure everyone knew to come here. Go get those dresses upstairs, the other ladies should be here soon.” 

Getting out of his hold I went to grab the stack of dresses. I carried the gowns upstairs and into the room on the second floor. I hung the bags up in the closet, turning each one around so the name cards can be easily read. Dre met me upstairs and headed straight for the girls.

“Hi daddy.” They greeted at once jumping on his lap.

“What’s up little ones? Zo you have something on your face.” Andre picked at Zoe’s chin, wiping his hand on his favorite pocket square.

“It’s just a banana.” She mumbled laying on his chest.

Hearing the baby act up I went to the bathroom to find Jess and him on the floor. She was kissing his feet and playfully moving his legs about in the air. Sometimes Jo really is like his dad. He gets upset when I’m not around. Especially since I interrupted his fourth meal of the day.

“He acts just like his father, ay bendito! Moody and unpredictable.” Taking a seat opposite of Jess I finger brushed through his hair, rubbing his scalp simultaneously.

Jorden looked up at me blankly not realizing who I am being that I’m upside down.

“Mi angelito.” Bending over to kiss his lips I felt his hands attempt to grab onto my face. Deciding to play a little game with him, I leant forward to kiss different areas of his face and backed away before he could touch me. “You think this is funny don’t you?” I grinned, feeling someone touch my lower back. I looked back to see Dre removing the gun from my jeans to tuck it away in his own. “Sorry..I forgot to put it away.” After apologizing sincerely I returned to catering to my baby. “You kiss better than your daddy.” Turning the blanket around I held onto Jo’s hands and stood him up on his feet. Bringing him closer I hooked my hands beneath his underarms and laid him back on my legs.

“No he doesn’t.” Dre scoffed sitting on the floor beside me. Jorden looked over to Dre and giggled as loud as he could. “Yeah you know I’m right. But don’t you worry Imma teach you all my tricks when you get older. I’ma teach you how to be a man and how to pull all the ladies.” Dre toyed around with Jo leaving me to go help Jess with her hair and makeup.

As I was curling the front side of Jessica's hair I heard cars pulling up and people talking.

“Baby, go see who’s here so I can finish helping Jess. Please.” I plead kindly. Dre nodded and stood up from the floor with the baby in his arms. He walked out of the room and left Jo with the girls before jogging downstairs. “How are you feeling about all this? You’re getting married today. Are you excited?” I pressed on, pinning her curls up so the heat would set them well.

“I’m really excited. I never saw myself as the wife type, you know that. It’s scary though knowing the entire state of California will recognize us as husband and wife but I’m excited and I’m ready. This day seems unreal.” Jess spun the chair around so I could work on the back of her head.

--------- -------

All of the guests are here at the beach house now and it is hectic! People at every turn, kids running around like they have no common sense and the men making today all about them. Us girls are on the second floor getting hair and makeup done. The men are upstairs doing the same but with loud ass music seeping into the lower levels of the house. We had to close our door just to drown them all out. Everything for the ceremony is set up and the reception venue is prepped as well too. Jess and the stylist were prepping the bridesmaids’ hair and makeup. I moved over to the couch on the far wall to help my girls get ready. I tried to get the baby to spend some time with his grandparents but he didn’t want to leave me. So he’s up here with all of us ladies. 

Some of the women have their bridesmaids robes on and some are testing out the bras Jess had specially made for us. The bras are beautiful and very expensive. I was the first to try mine on since I’m the maid of honor and I helped Jess pick out the color scheme for the bras. I’m scared mine is gonna break and I'll have to go braless because of how heavy my chest is now. After two babies and fully developing at a young age, I carry a lot of weight with these bad boys. The fabric is very lightweight and the material is sheer combined with lace detail. It’s a beautiful piece of lingerie but I’m just worried that I won’t be able to wear mine. A hard knock on the hard drew one of the woman's attention but most of us kept on with what we were doing.

“Mommy, it won’t tie.” Zoe whined, turning around so I could tie her bow.

I successfully made her a pretty bow and adjusted the flowers within her braid. The girls wanted their hair done too so I gave in. Kenja’s hair is straighter than you can imagine. Today was the first time she’s ever had heat pressed to her hair and I was a little nervous for the stylist to touch her hair. Kenja’s curl pattern is so pretty; I’m anxious to see how her hair will bounce back after today. 

“Kenja, baby...come here. Your bow is messed up.” Motioning her over to me I turned her around to fix the bow so it was perfect. 

“Mom, where’s papa?” Kenja asked, sitting down next to me and taking the baby to sit in her lap.

“Upstairs with the groomsmen getting ready.” I yawned.

“Your face is really fat Jorden. But it’s ok, you’re so cute.” Kenja giggled from beside me. I glanced at her funny only to find her squeezing Jorden’s cheeks like he was some kind of toy.

“Kenja be careful. He’s just a baby and his skin is a lot more sensitive than yours.” I warned defensively.

“Se pero le gusta esto.” Kenja defended pridefully. She continued to mess with her brother’s face, making the both of them laugh.

“Girl, why aren’t you dressed yet?” Tanya asked me suddenly. I looked to my right to see her slipping into her dress.

“I had to get my girls and the baby ready T. And besides I’m enjoying this time to sit back and relax.” I chuckled, throwing my body back on the couch.

“Well here..just in case someone has to come in.” Tanya handed me my robe and I graciously accepted it to warm myself up. This bra is not something you wear when your nipples are hard and you’re surrounded by so many people.

“Aw no, you can’t come in here. You see all these women getting dressed. Get out!” I heard Charise say loudly.

Looking up from Kenja’s lap I saw Charise and Andre going back and forth with laughter mixed into their conversation. Leaving the girls on the couch I politely walked through the women in the room and over to the door.

“I just wanted to talk to my lady. Why are you blocking Charise?” Andre argued with his hand over his heart.

“Thank you for handling his entry but I will take care of his exit.” Palming his chest I pushed him out of the room and closed the door behind me. “Que quieres, Andres?” 

“I missed you. Let me see what you have on.” Andre pried his hands into my robe, fiddling with the bra clasp, and completely snapped both halves of it open. I quickly cupped my breasts to prevent them from spilling out of this bra. 

“Thanks so much.” I muttered, closing my brassiere and adjusting the clasp.

“This bra is gorgeous. You gonna wear this for me someday?” He smiled, stepping closer to me.

Closing my robe I disagreed, “hell no. I cannot imagine the damage you would do to this bra in a private setting. Seriously, what did you want?” 

“How’s Zo doing today?” 

“Oh, um...she seems to be in good spirits. Kind of like nothing ever happened.” Looking him in the eye I felt my heart strings being tugged on. I know he hates when I give him that answer but it’s the truth and those are Zoe’s feelings. She’s a big girl now and she understands what it means to feel negatively towards a person, place, or object. Karissa hurt Zoe in an emotional sense and it’ll be a long time before Zo forgives her mother. If she even reaches that point. 

“Really? She seems happy? I don’t think she’ll ever talk to me about what really happened. I don’t think she’ll ever trust me enough or feel comfortable enough to open up about any of it. Camila, I’m never going to be able to get over her dea-” 

“Don’t go there right now. Today is not about us or our problems, you hear me?” Cupping his chin in my hand I lifted his face and searched his eyes. “As far as Zoe goes, you just have to be patient. I know it hurts that she hasn’t come to you about what she went through but remember that she’s just a little girl. She’s still feeling guilty and embarrassed. Zoe doesn’t know how to talk to you about this. Just give her time and don’t pressure her to open about it.” I advised. 

He gave me a reluctant head nod and leaned down to kiss me. I don’t want to think about Chris, what he did to our daughter or Karissa no longer being with us. This day is about Matthew and Jessica solidifying their bond in front of our friends and family. There aren’t a whole lot of celebrations we partake in as a family. With that being said I want us to take full advantage of this day to smile, laugh, dance, and enjoy the moments that are on the horizon. In order to occupy his mind with happy thoughts I engulfed him in my arms, passionately displaying my love for him.

I quickly realized that we’re standing in the hallway and need to have more privacy. Pushing him off of me I checked to make sure no one was watching. I followed him into the room that was just across the hall. He swept me off my feet the second I crossed over the threshold. He carried me over to the chair gently setting me down. I’m not sure what Dre wanted to happen but like always I just let my mind float elsewhere. My robe came open in seconds, shorts came off in milliseconds and so he rightfully took his position in front of me. 

Usually he likes to fuck around beforehand or talk to me while he warms me up. This is unlike the other times clearly. The strands of his hair nestled against my fingers tickled my hands just enough to force delicate laughter up my throat. Before I could open my mouth I heard rustling close by. 

“Aw yes, Meah..” 

Opening my eyes I looked over at the bathroom door and then down at Andre ready to question him. He’s still pursuing me with no regard to what’s happening up here. My thighs are fully covering his ears so he has no idea what I’m hearing. I softened at the awe-inspiring ability he has to blow my mind. My chest and legs quivered from his actions meanwhile my heart rate is steadily soaring to new heights. He’s developed a list of tricks that will surely cause one of many things to happen: I cry, convulse, shiver,or  scream random shit that he likes to hear. In this case I opted for a faint cry and moan paired with some involuntary shivering. One of my favorites of his emergency traps is when he’ll encompass my clitoral hood with his mouth while dragging the pad of his thumb up my perineum down to my anus. His actions matched my thoughts, forcing me to forget about the noise I keep hearing. Careful not to rip this bra with my nails I squeezed and carressed various regions of my own body. 

“Well Meah..I think I found your teacher. Or master I should say, demonstrating the greatest lesson of all time.”

Looking over at the bathroom door I saw Meah and NaTasha watching with proud smiles on their faces. Seeing as the flashbacks from the past are coming back I placed my hands on Dre’s head, trying and wanting him to stop. “Babe..stop.” I panicked.

“No.” Dre shot back with attitude, holding on tighter.

Trying to move back from him I found myself craving for him to finish me already. My cheeks were flushed with pleasure and embarrassment but as all times in the past and right now, he’s pleasing me just the way I like.

“Oh mierda..” I cried aloud. The conscious half of me wishes for him to cease this moment but the needy half of me is saying to just enjoy this before it ends. When he got the response from my mouth and body that we both love, I was quick to close my legs. My face contorted in all sorts of ways feeling my own cum rubbing all over my thighs. Sitting up in the chair I covered the top portion of my body with my robe. Some shield is better than none at all. 

“You are a magnificent teacher.” Meah laughed, making me blush so much more.

Andre wiped his mouth, finally turning around only to blush at the sight of our audience. 

“How long have y'all been standing there?” He asked not able to wipe the cheesy smile off of his face.

“Enough to realize I took some great advice. She tried to stop you twice but you just seemed like you were doing such a great job.” Meah teased leaning on Tasha’s body.

“How much did you two hear from us?” Tasha spoke up wrapping an arm around Meah’s waist.

“Not a whole lot but enough to know what was going on.” I shrugged innocently. 

“Well this felt like an unplanned orgy. How long were y’all in there?” Andre rose to his feet, going to retrieve my shorts. I hurriedly accepted them and left the room to make myself decent. 

“Oh my god.” I gasped quietly and to myself. Meah and her wife just witnessed Andre and I during a very private moment. Honestly, I’d rather relive today a hundred times over than the day my father barged in on us years ago. Upon leaving the bathroom I saw the three of them looking at me. I tried to leave but Andre wasn’t having it.

“Let me go. I have to go get ready.” I blushed, hiding my face.

“I know.” He laughed and kissed my forehead. The girls left us, providing us true privacy.

The flood of embarrassment hit me again prompting me to punch him in his chest, moderately rough.

“What did I do?” He scoffed.

“I tried pushing you off so you’d stop because they were watching but no..you were too focused.” I argued, tightening the robe strings once more.

He laughed and tried to kiss me but I blocked him.

“That was embarrassing. We’ve already had my dad walk in on us and now your assistant and her wife.” This is all fun and games for him. He’s still chalking up chuckles like I’m telling him a joke. “Stop laughing, it’s not funny!” Leaving him behind I locked myself in the room with the bridesmaids and the kids to focus on myself now. Now the time has come for us to get ready.

ANDRE

Tightening my tie I looked at myself in the mirror. 

“How in the hell did you manage to mess these up?” Matt griped. Looking briefly to the side I shrugged like I’m clueless as to what he’s talking about. “I know you heard me speaking to you. What happened to my sweatpants man?”

“I doubt you really want to know.” I said plainly.

“I’m never again letting your nasty ass borrow my shit. You’re foul Dre, foul.” He shoved me to get past and continue getting ready. 

Camila wound up in our room, keeping me company until it came time to begin the ceremony. Jorden coincidentally erupted in tears as it’s time for the bridesmaids and groosmen to line up. My mom was able to get Jo settled with a bottle and no Camila. The walk outside seemed to take a toll on me because as Cam and I went to our assigned places I felt myself missing her. Although she’s standing less than a hundred feet away from me, she feels so far away. I hope Cam and I can find the right time to get our wedding plans together soon because I’m ready. I’m so ready to take the next step in our relationship. I’ve come to terms that this woman is the best partner I’ve ever had without question.

[angrypixie-sarisa]

The one where he’s back

Piedras rodantes pt. 22

Sam xMexican!Witch!fem!readerx Dean (polyamorous)

Summary: Guess who’s back? Souless Sam, bby!

Warnings: cursing, both english and spanish.

You were dreaming, you were sure you were dreaming. What else could it be? Sam was back and you were laying with him on your couch, he was laying on top of you, his head resting on your chest, speaking softly. I missed you; you heard him say as he passed his fingertips through your side.

“You’re not here.” You whispered to him. To which he pressed light feather kisses onto your chest. Tears started to form in your eyes. This is a dream, it’s just a dream. 

“You’re not… you can’t… you…” 

“Y/N.” Your name rolled out of his mouth, the syllables sounded bittersweet as they repeated again and again. 

You started to open your eyes. Your head was pounding, your mouth felt dry and your eyes were definitely watery. 

“Mi cabeza.” You whispered. You blinked a couple of times, the tears streamed down your cheeks. As your vision adjusted, you made out your surroundings. The roof you were looking at had already peeled away most of the paint. Light came through the windows that were barely covered by planks of wood. Everything was covered in dust. The furniture smelled old and looked old, but the most noticeable thing was the bed you were placed in. It squeaked however the mattress felt knew and the covers and pillow too. You took your time, placed your palms against it as well as your soles. Your right foot started to tingle.

Who do you belong to? You heard someone’s breathing, making you sit up. Your breath hitched as you let out a shaky breath. There was a figure sitting at the edge of the bed, not facing you. All the familiarity was gone; your memory brought back the shape of the body but something felt off. That could not possibly be Sam Winchester. 

Sam turned around; still sitting in the mattress you were placed on, smiling at you, without his usual warm glint. He intended to wrap a hand around your ankle; his empathic soothing face almost equal to the real Sam’s and you almost gave in, almost. 

“Don’t touch me!” 

He opened his mouth maybe to explain, maybe to lie but that groan wasn’t his. You realized you two weren’t alone in the room. And as you felt happy you also feared. 

Dean woke up, groggy, he felt heavy and stupid and he was having a hard time focusing his view. When his vision cleared off, his gaze immediately landed on his brother as it sloppily followed your scared body behind him. 

The younger Winchester was no longer paying you attention as he focused on his brother.

“Hey, Dean.” He said. He gave him a few seconds to react, before he chuckled and stood up from the bed. 

“I was expecting uh… I don’t know, a hug, some holy water in the face, something.” You tried to get up the mattress as well, but the journey to the edge of it was long, exhausting and nauseating. 

Sam turned around to give you a glanze. “Careful, you could still fall and I think you won’t appreciate that.” The tone on his voice was sweet and soft, however a voice in your head screamed DEAD and you could not ignore it. 

“So I’m dead?” Dean asked, focused on his brother, who laughed at the guess of the situation. 

“This is heaven? Yellow eyes killed me and…”

“Yellow eyes?” Asked Sam. 

Yellow eyes? Well Dean had to be more specific with that, you knew plenty of demons with yellow eyes. 

“That’s what you saw?”

“Saw?”

“You were poisoned, both of you. So whatever kind of crazy crap you think you’ve been seeing, it’s not real.”

You held your breath and for the first time, you and Dean locked eyes. You both wore confused expressions. He scanned your figure, taking in the way you were hugging yourself. It was different than when your arm ached, it was as if you were comforting yourself from something. Maybe a nightmare. 

“So then are you real? Or am I still-?”

“I’m real.” He moved so he could look at both of you. He talked and looked like Sammy, but something felt off. He didn’t feel like Sammy. 

“Here, let me save you the trouble.” He murmured. And the way he said it, it sounded angry, as if it was such a pain to do whatever he was planning on doing next. 

He took out a pocket knife and cut his forearm, revealing his red thick blood as it streamed down the limb. Next he opened a package of salt and poured some in a plastic container with holy water in it, taking a sip in front of your eyes. 

“All me. That’s nasty.” He said once he was done. 

Dean stood up, with an effort, not taking his eyes off of his so called brother. You tried to get up as well, but whatever poison they had used on you, it was really potent. Your legs still felt like jelly, but you still made the effort to at least sit at the edge of the bed.

“Sammy?” Dean asked, hurt present in his face. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

He neared him slowly at first before hugging him tightly, but the hug didn’t last long.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute. You were gone. i mean, that was it. How the hell are you-?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” 

“Was it Castiel?” Your voice sounded raspy, you cleared your throat several times but it was no use.

Both men turned to you, intensity in their eyes. “You tell me, I’ve been calling. Cass hasn’t answered my prayers. I don’t know where he is.” 

You shared a look with the older Winchester. You didn’t know if Dean had any communication with the angel anymore but you knew for certain that Cas always answered your prayers.

“I mean, I was down there. And then next minute is raining and I’m lying in that field, alone. It’s kinda hard to look for whatever’s saved you  when you have no leads.... But i looked. I mean, believe me, I looked.” Sam said, stealing glances between the two of you.  

“For weeks.”

Your body tensed. It was his shadow you saw the other day at the coffee house. It was his scent the wind blew at you at the street or park. He had been there the whole time.You were not paranoid all this time, you were not going insane. All those nights crying your way into sleep, crying in someone’s shoulder, they were because of him. Your jaw clenched and suddenly you had the strength to get out of bed and stand on your own feet. Your steps might had stumbled for a second, nonetheless you were standing straight and firm, looking fiercely at the man who caused you so many pain after his so called death. 

“Wait, weeks? How long have you been back? How long have you been back, Sam?” And as you could see, you were not the only one angry at him.

“About a year.” 

“Hijo de tu pinche madre. You’ve been back practically this whole time? And you didn’t think of calling? ¡¿No se te ocurrió algo más que dejarme como pendeja llorando mientras te estabas pavoneando por quién sabe dónde, haciendo quién sabe qué?!” You furiously walked to stand in front of him as you grabbed him by the collar of his flannel and tugged him down so he could look at you. 

“You let me think I was going crazy. You let me think I was mourning so bad I was seeing you everywhere. ¡Y ahora resulta que el puñetas hijo de la chingada estaba jugando conmigo! ¡¿Por qué?! ¡Dime, por qué, o te juro que te arranco esas uvas que llamas huevos, pinche cabrón de mierda!” With the end of every sentence, you shook him, trying to see something else than that feigned startled face. You even considered kicking him in the nuts and you would’ve had, if Dean hadn’t pulled you away. 

“¡No, suéltame, chingada madre! ¡Le voy a meter un vergazo, le voy a meter una putiza!”

“Hey! Hey! Calm down!”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! ¡A ti también te voy a putear no más porque me dijiste que me calmara!”

“Hey! Easy! What do you mean going crazy? You saw him?” He had locked your arms tight at each side of your body with his arm, while his free hand was placed gently on top of your head. The gentle touch felt weird given the situation, but you hadn’t realized you started to cry. 

You took in shaky breaths; you bit your lip so you wouldn’t break into sobs. You breathed in another shaky breath before nodding. 

“Yeah, sometimes. At the grocery store, I always felt observed or when I went for a coffee, heck, I even thought I’d seen him nearby my shop.” Dean turned towards Sam, who still was watching you were you left him. 

“You were here the whole time. What did you lose the ability to send a text message?!” Now Dean had the chance to show how devastated he was as well. His brother was never dead and he hadn’t bothered to go and find him. Hell, find Bobby, find him, find his girl, the loved ones he left behind. Instead he was running around doing who knows what and playing mind games. It wasn’t fair, if you hadn’t blowed up he might as well had and instead of him trying to hold you back it would be you holding him back.

“You finally had what you wanted, Dean.”

“I wanted my brother!” He felt you tensed up, he still wasn’t sure if letting you go was the best decision.

“We wanted you alive!” He completed. If he wasn’t planning on letting you go just yet, he at least could speak for both of you. 

“You wanted a family.” Sam’s voice; it was his voice, it sounded so calm, it was alien of him and it was what was bothering you the most.“For long time, maybe the whole time. I know you. You only gave it up because of the way we lived. But you had something, you were building something. Had I showed up, Dean, you would’ve just run off.”He sighed. 

You felt Dean gulp, his arm tensing around you. You were both so hurt and angry. Sam’s eyes locked with your wet furious ones, then he looked at his brother and then took you both in. 

“I’m sorry. But it felt like after everything, you deserved some regular life.”

“Yeah. But what about Y/N, Sam? Maybe I deserved a regular life but what-”

“About me. My life wasn’t regular and you know it. So why wouldn’t you come to me? You were fine lurking in the shadows. What, hoping that I wouldn’t get over you?” You were still taking deep breaths, but Dean felt that it was safer now to finally let you go, so he did. He took a step back, processing all the information. 

Sam took a step in your direction. 

“Don’t come near me. You can easily explain from where you are.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I wanted to come to you, many times. But you guys became friends and when i made up my mind it was too late. I couldn’t let Dean live his life and have one with you anymore. Not if I wanted him to have the chance and I wanted him to.”

“So you settled with making me go crazy.” You scoffed, glaring daggers at him. “Charming.”

“I know. I settled for -as you said lurking in the shadows- and watching you from afar and you almost caught me sometimes.” he paused. “I’m sorry.”

Your heart softened a little at his words. The tiniest bit. Your head was still thinking death and resentment.

“I’m gonna find whoever brought you back and give them a good demonstration of how much pain I can be able to inflict.” At that, he chuckled. 

“I wouldn’t expect less.”

“Wait, so what have you been doing?” Dean came to stand next to you. His brother sat on the edge of the bed again as he explained, paying you more attention now and always stealing glances at you.

“Hunting.”

“You left us alone and were flying solo?”

“Not solo.”

“What?” You both asked in unison.

“I hooked up with some other people.”

“You were working with strangers?” The older Winchester didn’t believe what he was hearing.

“They’re more like family.”

“Yeah, sure. The only way they could be your family is if…” You started, then trailed off. His expression changed. This whole time you were looking at him, analyzing his face, his corporal language. The whole time he had been honest or at least it seemed like it. 

“They’re here.” 

He went and opened the door of the bedroom, walking out of it with you following behind him. 

There was an empty room or hall that had a big doorway towards what seemed a dining room, which had  a table with scattered papers all over it, guns, knives and people around it. 

Auras, everywhere. That’s what you saw next. The poison had your abilities numbed but now they were back in the game and it felt as if it was the first time you had embraced them. There were colors everywhere, reds, oranges, deep blues and lots of yellows. 

“Why is there so much yellow?” You whispered. The brothers gave you an odd look. 

The woman that was the nearest to you turned your way and extended her hand. “Hey.” You looked at her hand and hesitated. Lucky for you, Sam stepped in, handing you a pair of leather gloves. You questioned him with a look but took them gladly. Once you had them on you shook her hand. 

She nodded with an awkward smile in her face. “I’ll try not to take that personally.”

“You shouldn’t, it’s just better this way, I am not in the best shape yet.” Dean casted you a glance. You knew he had questions, as maybe everyone had, but for now they had to wait.

Next she shook Dean’s hand. “My God, you have delicate features for a hunter.” She said. 

“Excuse me?”

“Dean, Y/N, Gwen Campbell.” Sam introduced you.

“Glad to meet, Sam’s been going on and on and on.”

“This is Christian.” He pointed at the one in front of you.“And Mark. Campbell.” He pointed at a guy at the far end of the table.

“Campbell? As if in…” Your voice was nothing than a whisper then, it was still dry and all that yelling did it no good.

“Like in, uh-” Dean started.

“Like your mom.” Christian said, before handing you a bottle of water. You smiled at him, thanking him with a nod while Sam explained the genealogy. 

“I thought all mom’s relatives were gone. And i’m sorry, it’s just, you know… Why didn’t we know about any of you?”

“Because they didn’t know about you.” You were immediately flooded by a greyish blue, you couldn’t see anything but the color. You resisted the urge to throw up as you turned around to where the voice had sounded. 

“Not until I brought you all together.”

“Samuel.” 

“Come here.” Both men hugged. At least you thought they were hugging. 

Sam’s hand landed on your, compared to the size of that giant, tiny shoulder. He squeezed it gently then you turned your head to look him in the eye. But all you could see was that damn color. He cleared his throat. “Are you alright?” Then the color changed. It was pure grey, changing light to dark and then light again, over and over.

“Guys, give me a moment with my grandsons.”

“That’s a great idea.” You said, following the footsteps out of the room. 

A hand caught your naked wrist, making you hiss and turn to get rid of the touch as the nausea intensified. “Back off!” 

Dean saw your eyes, they were clouded grey, no pupil in sight. What was happening to you? He frowned and cleared his throat. He then saw your figure relax as he said: “You don’t have to go.”

“I think it’s better that she does.” Sam said.

“What is wrong with you?”

“No. He’s right. I need um…”

“She needs to recover, alone.” he completed. 

“I’ll be in the room. I’m… Sorry, I shouldn’t have… Sorry, Dean.” With that you made your way towards the room. You knew their cousins were silently asking Sam questions, but he still made sure they left you alone, the less energy the quicker you could adjust to your abilities again.

++++++++

You were lying in bed, holding your head in your hands, taking deep breaths as the color dissipated. The nassau was gone, but that only meant your senses were next, You could already hear the conversations. 

First it was the Campbell’s. They were talking about you and how Sam had told them that you were a witch, which yes, it made them nervous. That’s why when you had yelled at Dean they had panicked, trying to resist the urge to grab their guns and point them at you. But then you apologized and that was what threw them off. They still didn't know what you could actually do, they thought of you as a regular witch, however they trusted Sam’s word when he had told them they needn’t worry about you. 

Then you heard the conversation between granpa and grandsons. You were poisoned by Djinn. Apparently Sam was doing his job as a hunter too well and ended up pissing them off, so they targeted you and Dean. Great. Anger boiled up beneath your skin again. You were already heading out when you heard the calls of the older Winchester. When he saw you emerge from the room he opened his mouth to explain, but you cut him off. 

“I know. Let’s go.”

“Y/N, I think it’s best if you sit this one…” Sam said as he kept up with your pace, landing beside you.

“No way. If those bastards were ever to get near the perimeter I could sense them before they could put a single foot in the porch I would know.”

“Damn, having a witch in the team looks like fun.” Gwen whispered to Christian and you heard him agree with her, though Mark didn’t sound so excited about it.

“Thank you.” You called before turning to look at them. Your eyes weren’t gray anymore and you could see their auras without clashing on you.

“You also seem like fun.”

Lucky for all of you, Lisa and Ben where fine when you arrived. A little shaken and serious when Dean told them to pack their bags. Even more when they saw Sam was back. That’s when Lisa turned her gaze towards you and in that moment the past jealousy and space between you two disappeared with one single unspoken question. Are you okay? You gave her a stiff nod, before gulping and excusing yourself. Your senses were still sharp, you figured you were far more useful outside the house rather than inside. 

Thankfully, you didn’t stay there for long. Dean tooked them with Bobby’s and you and Sam tagged along. Both you and Dean wanted to see the reaction on Bobby’s face upon seeing the resurrected. Pinche nazareno, you thought every time you stole a glance at him.

Lisa and Ben were already heading upstairs. Ben casted you a look, asking if you were to tag along. You shook your head but gave him a reassuring smile. Before they could disappear completely you took a book out of your bag and handed it to him. 

“Here. It’s better than Bobby’s collection.” 

He took the book and inspected the cover, then he thanked you and disappeared upstairs with his mom. 

“Heroes of Olympus?” Dean interrogated you. 

“Why do you have the book with you? How does it even fit in that tiny bag?”

“I assume you’ve never read Harry Potter or watched the movies. The briefest explanation is that Hermione has a spell that practically expands the insides of her bag and I wanted that as well. And that book is great, so don’t come after me.”

“One single book can’t be better than my collection, how dare you?”

You sighed. “Bobby, your spanish is better than your collection.”And for what seemed like a long  time, Dean cracked a smile again. He knew you had helped Bobby with cases and research and that you both kept in touch. He couldn’t help but imagine more ways you would sass the hunter. But as soon as the smile came it left as he reminded why he was there. 

“So…” He said as Sam appeared at the door and the look at Bobby’s face was not what you both were expecting. 

“Hey, Bobby.” Sam said, nonchalantly. Instead of a wild, hurt expression, the hunter simply acknowledged him with a nod and by his name. 

You bit your lip from the inside and took a deep breath. “Hijos de su puta madre.” 

“Yeah.” Dean said while nodding and glaring at the hunter. “Ditto.”

“How long?” Dean asked. You were all at the living room, you sat between Sam and Bobby. Sam’s hand rested on your knee as the other one bounced up and down. You were newly mad again, not only at him but at Bobby as well. You couldn’t stand his touch on you, so you moved aggressively your knee out of his touch. 

“How long?” Dean asked again, more impatiently as his father figure got distracted with your treatment towards the resurrected. 

“All year.” Bobby admitted in defeat. 

“Ah, que bonitos.” 

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“And I’d do it again.” 

“Why?!”

“Oh, I would love to hear that. Why would you let us go through this again, Bobby?” You asked with a feigned sweet tone. 

He turned to look at you and you batted your eyelashes, though the gesture looked more fierce than flirty with the crooked smile you wore.

“Because you got out, Dean. You walked away form the life and I was so damn grateful you got no idea.” He said, then he turned to you. “And I gotta admit, you, you took me by surprise, you were more straightforward than Sam was. You came and explained everything before he did. Heck I scolded him after we talked. But he said you had already met Dean. Forgive me for being selfish, sweetheart, but as I said, I’d do it again.” 

You clenched your jaw. 

“Of course.” It was the only thing you could say. Of course he chose happiness for Dean. But hadn’t anyone thought about telling you to keep it a secret? During that time you weren’t even friends with Dean, you both hated each other. But then it hit you. Would you rather have Sam and lose Dean? You clenched your fists and jaw at the question. No. Because that was not Sam. 

“Do you have any clue what walking away meant for me?”

“Yeah. A woman and a kid and not getting your guts ripped out at age 30, that’s what it meant.”

“That woman and that kid… I went to them because you asked me to.” The older one blamed the younger. 

“Good.” Said the hunter as Sam remained silent. 

“Good for who? I showed up at their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much, I had nightmares.” 

You stood up, you couldn’t bare anymore sitting beside him. You took in the picture as you walked around the room, arms crossed, glaring here and there. Bobby, you knew, was a little ashamed, but you couldn’t believe Sam wasn’t the one arguing with his brother. Dean had told you about their dynamic before and this wasn’t how he usually reacted to conflict.

“I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books trying to find anything to bust you out.”

“You promised you’d leave it alone.” The resurrected said, calmly. 

“Of course I didn’t. Sue me.” He turned to the hunter on his right. “A damn year? You couldn’t put me out of my misery?”

When you glared again at Sam he was already looking at you. You felt cold beneath his gaze, you shifted and started to walk again. As you moved closer to where Dean was standing you saw spots of red and blue all over the place except one spot, where his brother was sitting. 

You had enough of yelling for the day. So you left the living room and went upstairs. Just as you were to knock on the door of the room it opened. 

“Ay, perdón.” 

Lisa smiled softly. “It’s alright. You wanted to come in?”

“I wanted to check on you guys.”

“That’s you, Y/N?” You heard Ben’s voice. Both Lisa and you laughed softly as she stepped back to let you in before heading down herself. 

“So how’s the book?” You asked as you sat down on the floor next to the bed where he was laying. 

“Honestly, I couldn’t read it, yet.” 

You hummed. “Having too much in your mind, kiddo?” The only response was a sigh before the room fell in silence. That’s when you picked up on the conversation at the end of the stairs.

“You can’t outrun your past.” That was the older Winchester’s voice. 

“You’re saying goodbye.” 

Ah, no. No matter in how much pain he was in right at the moment. The past was past. He didn’t know the Djinn were coming and he didn’t have a way of knowing. That wasn’t something he could control. More importantly, how the fuck did he think his family would remain safe if he wasn’t there to protect them? They could be at risk with or without him. You were already sensing the topic of the conversation and it made you mad. 

“Listen, Ben.” You said as you retrieved from the conversation of the couple. The kid sat up on the bed so he could look at you. 

“Things are tough right now. It’s a rough patch, but it’s only that. So please, I’m asking you to never be one of those guys who thinks his loved ones are safer without him than with him, because that’s a bunch of crap. You know what that is?” 

He was at lost of words, he didn’t expect the conversation to go this way, but he didn’t need to answer you. “That’s giving up. Because if you really love someone you make things work. And if someone ever dares to give up on you without even trying, I want you to fight. Not them, but fight for you. I want you to fight and dodge everything life throws at you to put you down. You hear me? What would happen if Dean and I couldn’t get to you? I want you to know how to defend yourself and your mom.” He kept nodding at everything you said. Your gaze and your words were so intense it was hard not to pay attention to them. He saw you dig in your purse until you took out a long dark wood box. 

“What’s that?”

You sighed. “This is something I want you to have.” You opened it so you could reveal the knife that was inside. “Look, I need to talk to your mom and to Dean about this but, if they say yes, it’s yours.” 

“Wow.” The kid’s eyes glinted in excitement. You took it out of its carved velvet spot and handed it to him, offering him the carved wooden handle that was the same color as the box. It was your catch-it-all knife, the blade was made of silver and it had special carving on it. You rarely used it, but it would be a lie to say you hadn’t taken the lives of some monsters you couldn’t befriend and decided to engage in a life to death fight.

“What does it mean?”

“That I can’t tell you until they approve of you having the knife. If they do, Ben, this isn’t a toy, okay? This is only for special situations when your life or your mom’s or both are in great danger. If they’re threatened that’s when you get to use it and I hope you never get to. But I’d rather have you know how to handle a knife and not using the skill than having you needing to use it and not knowing how.”

He nodded again, understanding how serious the topic was. “The box has compartments with the polishing and sharpening kit.”

“Where did you get it?” 

At that a proud smile was drawn on your face. “I made it.”

“You did?”

You nodded. You heard the conversation stop. It was a matter of time for Lisa to come back. 

“Listen champ, I’ll talk to them. And I’ll also show your mom how to use it, why leave her out of the fun? For now, you hold on to it for me, but only if you promise to explain everything to your mom and not take it out without her supervision. Understood?” 

“Yes.” He put the knife back on the box and closed it before hugging you. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” You returned the hug, playing your favorite game of who can have the tightest grip. He always won. 

“You’re welcome, champ. You’ll be out of here before you know it, I promise.”

+++++++

You returned to the crumbling house you had woke up at. Dean entered demanding a plan. Seeming as there wasn’t one and everybody thought of him in particular as lacking some practice, it was a matter of time before he took them out of the condescending looks and gave their asses something to do. 

“Can you handle a gun, sweetheart?” Mark asked you. 

“I can, but I don’t need one.”

“Oh no, look if you hunt with us then you hunt like us.” Gwen stated. 

“Really?” You crossed your arms, meeting her amused eyes. 

“So you’re saying that me having an ear on the perimeter, shadow travelling to surprise the Djinn and moving objects to make it even harder for them to move around won’t come useful in the hunt and make it, perhaps, a little easier?” You left the room speechless. Gwen broke eye contact and even took a step back. “I don’t want you to fear me, but I’m not in the mood to tolerate stupid boundaries.” 

“What’s shadow travelling?” Christian asked. Dean was grateful that you explained it a few days ago to him. 

“You don’t know what it is?” You scoffed, taking off the leather gloves that you had wore until finally you were your fabulous self again. While you tossed them on the table you added: “What kind of hunters are you?” You placed your hands on your hips and turned to the older Winchester as he gave you a sly smile; you winked at him. You got his back and he got yours. 

The plan was you would three act as bait and the stage was none other than Dean’s home. You and Dean watched as the Campbells took more opportunities to sass their way back to something like dignity. 

“Really, golf?” Sam asked when he looked into the closet.

“It’s a sport.” His brother defended. 

You crossed your arms. "Damn, you certainly have a lot of opinions, don't you?"

They all turned to look at you, already annoyed. You shrugged mentally, you were already annoyed by them when they started acting so condescending by the lifestyle Dean chose.

“You can keep staring, it ain’t gonna make it less true.”

“Yeah? What about you?” Christian asked. 

“Me? Pft, easy, I voice my opinions when someone asks me to or… You know, when someone I didn’t ask feels the liberty to comment on something they don’t have the right to.” There was a long silence that filled the room. You could tell Dean was smiling and everyone else was frowning and with all the sincerity in your heart you could say that you didn’t give a fuck. 

“Well, seems that everything’s taken care of here. I’ll go check around the house.” As you made your way out, you high fived the older Winchester. 

Samuel turned to Sam and Dean as he said: “She’s a real charm.” To which Dean shrugged but Samuel saw Sam’s smile. He had never seen him smile before and certainly not at a woman that wasn’t in the room. 

You went to Mark who was sitting in a van parked in front of the house. He was looking at the surroundings with a telescope. 

“Hey. You’re seeing the same thing I am?” You asked him quietly as you sneaked a glance at a certain tree you both had your eyes on. “Couple of Djinn, there.”

You nodded. “Yeah, they were some near the neighbor houses as well. They won’t come nearer.”

“Yeah, we better tell’em. It’s a lost cause.”

You nodded to yourself, deep in thought. “Or…”

Sam kept sneaking glances at you as you talked to his cousin before heading inside. When you crossed the door you instantly looked for Dean, but couldn’t find him just yet. 

“Hey.” He called out to you before you could search for his brother. 

“What’s up?” 

You seemed reluctant to near him and tell him, but in the end you did. Your anger had calmed down for the most part. But he still wondered if it had extinguished entirely. 

“They’re Djinn surrounding the house, but they won’t come nearer.” To that, Christian and Gwen joined the two of you. 

“They already know we’re here?” Gwen asked you. You nodded. “Mark thought of calling it off, but they’re already here. What guarantees do we have that they won’t attack once we lay our guard down? So I thought….”

“What’s going on here?” Samuel asked, who came out of the kitchen with Dean on his side. 

“Y/N says the Djinn are here, but…” Sam started. 

“They won’t come closer.” You finished. He smirked. 

“They feel outnumbered.” Samuel contemplated. 

“You wouldn’t be suggesting we leave you alone, right?” 

You shrugged. “It’s the only way to get rid of them as fast as possible. I mean if they’re already here, that’s half the job done. Now we just…”

“Get rid of’em.” Dean completed. You nodded. Everybody hesitated, the only ones that were sure the plan might work were the brothers an you. Sam had to push a little bit to convince them to leave you three alone. And if he was being honest with himself, he felt curious at how you would develop in a active hunt. In the end, they were convinced enough to move just some blocks away so they could reach if something went wrong. 

When the sun went down, they made the first strike. And boy, did they put up a fight. The brothers went straight for killing. You figure it was something their minds were already determined to. You however were like them on their first years of hunting, although your methods had more success than theirs. That combined with the fact that the monsters didn’t know you well enough to grow a grudge on you. The only grudge they could hold on you were your acquaintances. Of course, every monster hated hunters. Yourself had hated them for quite some time. 

“Y/N, watch out!” Sam warned you, but he couldn’t get to you, he was getting cornered. You dodged the hand that intended to grab your wrist. 

“Not today.” 

The girl you were fighting kept trying cornering you and walked menacingly at you, making you take steps back. 

“Where’s Dean?!” You moved the couch in front of her when she made an attempt to attack you. 

“Sam?!” A lamp landed on the girl’s feet, making her take a few steps back. 

“Oh, little witch, are those parlor tricks the only thing you can do?”

“I’d prefer not to pull the big guns on you. You know, girls gotta watch out for each others backs not attack them.” Was that a corner behind your back? She slammed her hands at either side of your head, amused with the cat and the mouse roleplay. 

“Sorry, dear, not this time.” Before she could dose you up, you shadow traveled and reappeared behind her, kicking her knees and twisting her arms behind her before tying her hands and running to help Sam. However, Samuel had already gotten to him. 

“Thank God.” You whispered, ignoring the snicker that escaped the grandpa’s lips. 

“And Dean?” 

“Already working that poison off. They’re gonna be fine, sweetheart. This guys are tough, and it appears that so are you.” He patted his grandson on the shoulder. “You got a good one, son.” And you couldn’t help it, a blush grew on your cheeks despite the stoic face you managed to maintain.

+++++

You were leaning on Sam’s new car, watching as the brothers had a conversation inside. you could eavesdrop if you wanted to, but you had a feeling what the resolutions of the conversation was. Dean was staying. 

The brothers came out of the house, walking towards you. 

“Hey. Keep in touch.” Dean told his brother. 

Sam nodded saying that he would. You went to hug his brother, patting his back when he started patting yours. 

“You’re gonna go with him?” He asked not so quietly. 

You shrugged. “I don’t know, if he convinces me, maybe I will.” The older winchester scoffed and looked at his brother. 

“Good luck with that.”

“I’m already working on my speech.” Sam shooted back. 

“I’ll see ya around, Winchester.” Before you could step back, he reached and clasped your forearm in his hand. 

“Before you go. Lisa told me about the knife.” 

“Right! Sorry, I was meaning to talk to you guys about it. What do you think?”

“What’s there about to think? Absolutely not.”

You took in a deep breath. “Well, would you keep an eye on it for me? I’m itching to get home.” You were kind of disappointed by his answer. You knew why he didn’t want them to have it. Guns and knives symbolized the work of a hunter. To give them one, it just seemed like they were already starting on the job. But that was not the case. Either way, that was something you wanted to come back once you were fully charged and your head didn’t threaten with exploding. 

He nodded and let your arm go. Then he watched you disappear into Sam’s car and drive away. 

The whole car drive was filled with silence. It was the perfect opportunity to talk about all that happened but Sam knew you were tired. And as much as you were mad at him, he knew you could’ve used the moment to talk, hadn’t you been so worn off. So he waited until you arrived at your home. Either way it wasn’t that far from Dean’s. 

He walked you to your door, figuring if you would invite him to go inside or send him on his merry way back to his cousins and grandpa. 

“So what do you think?” 

You paused, key in hand and halfway through the keyhole. “I don’t know. It’s a huge thing what your asking me, Sammy.”

“Y/N, look at me.” 

You raised your head and met his gaze, your nose bumped into his, slightly, you hadn’t notice how close he had gotten. 

“Damn, I missed you.” He closed the distance between you two, his lips meetings yours in a short kiss that was replaced by a more intense and deepened one. You felt his arm snake around your back, pulling you closer while his other hand rested at the back of your neck, holding you in place. And kiss after kiss, the hunger grew. You had missed him so much, you let yourself enjoy that hunger, you let it consume you completely and fought his tongue with yours, pulled at his lip just as he had, played with his hair in your hands, let yourself explore every muscle of his body again. Just as your hand landed on his chest, that gray color assaulted you and numbed you again, for the briefest moment, before the voice inside your head screamed and begged you to understand. DEAD. 

You pulled away, heaving and trembling. 

“No. You can’t just expect me to forgive you just by kissing me.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Give me some space and time, without you, to process all of this. To make a decision.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, instead you occupied yourself by opening your door and running inside, eager to put some space between the two of you. 

“I-”

“Hasta pronto.”

Tag: @anathewierdo​

[alma-berry]

Bueno... sabemos (debido a algunos capítulos y lo que dijo Hypatia) que a pesar de que Kit le estuvo escribiendo cartas a Ty durante los 3 años que se mantuvieron separados él también vivió su vida y tuvo sus propias experiencias sexuales (lo cuál no tiene nada de malo, kit es un adolescente de 18 años con necesidades y atracción sexual obviamente no va a vivir 3 años de su vida llorando por los pasillos mientras escribe poemas, aunque espero que en ese momento fuera mayor de edad). (Part 1)

I translated all of the messages to English so y’all can read these beautiful words!

Well... we know (because of some chapters and what Hypatia said) that even though Kit was writing letters to Ty during the 3 years they stayed apart he also lived his life and had his own sexual experiences (which there‘s nothing wrong about, Kit is an 18-year-old teenager with needs and sexual attraction, obviously he will not live 3 years of his life crying in the halls while writing poems, although I hope he was of age at that time).

And I was wondering if at some point we will know about Ty’s romantic life during those 3 years. I sincerely hope Ty had his own experiences because, however romantic it may be, I don't want Kit to be all if Ty’s first experiences. I think it is important that he discovers himself beyond his relationship with Kit, what he likes and makes him feel comfortable, it’ll fee more real.

As I said before, they are teenagers and it is inevitable that they will be attracted to other people even if they are in love with each other (even though they are ignorant about their feelings), it is completely normal and understandable. And frankly I'm a little tired of seeing fics in which, for the most part, Kit is the one with a partner or experience while Ty didn't even have his first kiss.

Ty may have trouble interacting with other people but he’s smart, attractive and has needs like everyone else. He is fully capable of dealing with a romantic, or simply physical, relationship, if he finds someone who, in addition to physically attracting him, also respects his space and time boundaries.

It doesn't feel real that Kit is the only person in his life. In any case, if that situation was real, I feel that Kit would be the one "could not" be with anyone else because "once the Herondales love it is forever." Anyway, thanks for letting me express myself and sorry for writing so much. If you do not understand something please tell me and I will try to explain again.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Thank you so much for writing this. I completely agree with everything you said about Ty.

Actually, I’m the end of KSFM #13 we can read Ty’s thoughts. He said that he had physical relationships, but also said that they were only that - physical. I actually think that Ty is very likely to have sexual experience, because of how much touch is a crucial part of his life.

He doesn’t always go for the obvious physical closeness, but when he does, it comforts him endlessly. So I think once his sexual urge kicks in, it’ll be somewhat of a revelation to him.. :)

In regards to Kit.. I don’t think he will likely to stay alone. He needs affection and the assurity of it. I’m quite positive he will even have romantic attempts, sometimes I’m not so sure Ty will have.

He was 15 when he met Ty.. and though I’m sure his feelings towards him won’t go away, he will do whatever he can to continue with his life up until the point when they meet again.. and all hell brakes loose.

@kitheronthorn

[sorenissuperior]

I noticed you're not "liking" the posts as often the past few days, and me being paranoid is making me think you might be getting tired of them or something but I'm trying my best to not think that's the case. I know you don't have to like every single one. You'd probably tell me if you were, which would oof that'd hurt but I know you're not. It's just hard for me to not think negatively. I've always expected the worst. If I had to talk to a manager or someone over me I expected to be in trouble or reprimanded. You don't have to "like" them, and I know you do read them, its just something that bothers me. I don't know why I can't just stop thinking bad things. This is off topic but earlier at work I remembered my cousin, Luis. When I first went to mexico 13 years ago I met him for the first time. I think he was maybe 18? And I was 10. He would walk with me to the corner stores to buy snacks. We ran home to my aunts house one night in pouring rain. It looked really cool outside. Rainy, thundering, really dark. I also remember walking around town and visiting his friend, and we watched the first silent hill movie there! That was pretty cool. And they had this incredible ice cream shop as well. It was so, so good. I only had it once while I was there and I still remember what the shop looked like. Two doors on opposite sides of each other to walk in. When I went to mexico again 3 years ago, I sent you tons, and tons of videos of animals. At least I tried to, I had awful service there. I really missed talking to you while I was there. I did a little, but only when I could because of my signal. I sent you videos of the cows, I took a video of the moon, I showed you the cats and dogs around my grandparents farm. I wanted to include you in a lot of what I was doing. My cousin tagged me and uploaded some photos while we were there, and your mom commented on a picture that had Marilyn Monroe in it I believe. My cousin, Luis, had leukemia when I saw him last. A few months later my mom went so she could get a tumor removed, because we thought her breast cancer came back. That was scary. She just randomly started to have pain where she had it last time. Nearly 20 years ago. Thankfully she was okay, but by the time she came back my cousin died. My mom asked me if I could send some money with her so she could give to him to spend while in the hospital. She told me that when she gave it to him and said it was from dani, that he smiled and said he was gonna buy lots of chips with it. I've never had anyone close to me die before. I'm so afraid of losing people to death. That's what I'm afraid of most. When my life ends. I don't know what happens after. It eats away at me at night. When she told me what happened I started to cry silently. I just couldn't believe it. I saw him just a few months prior. How could that have happened so fast? After she told me I was still in her room and she was giving me stuff she brought with her, and I was sobbing and tears were falling down my face. My sister saw me crying. She told my mom, "dani esta llorando". Dani's crying. This picture was when we went to the biggest mall in mexico city. Even now, im crying remembering all of this. Life is cruel. It's too short. Don't let anything happen to you, or your family. Please stay safe, Krys. I don't want anything to happen to you. Have a good night, and sleep well. Ily

[lire-casander]

For the music ask: 12, 13, 23!

12:A song from your preteen years

Fraggle Rock Theme ~ The Jim Henson Company ~ [1983]

Dance your cares away, Worry's for another day. Let the music play, Down at Fraggle Rock. I’m an oldie, so this one is definitely what comes to mind when I think of my preteen years... And also, one of my favorite bands in the world, Maldita Nerea, plays this song during their shows to signal the end so people can start leaving the venue.

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

Chica de Ayer ~ Nacha Pop ~ [Sinfín ~ 1980]

Un día cualquiera no sabes qué hora es ~ one random day, you don’t even know the time Te acuestas a mi lado sin saber por qué ~ you lie next to me without knowing why Las calles mojadas te han visto crecer ~ the damp streets have watched you grow Y tú en tu corazón estás llorando otra vez ~ and you’re crying again in your heart

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

Last Train Home ~ Ryan Star ~ [11:59 ~ 2010]

You were a storm, It blew us away. I wouldn't leave you, But you couldn't stay.

I already answered here! But I am answering it once again with a different song because there’s never enough new music in the world.