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makethemmilky · 4 months ago

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Amy and Liz had been best friends and roommates for years. They did practically everything together, and after a bit too much to drink one night that included both of them being impregnated by Liz’s boyfriend. It had all started innocently enough, with Liz talking about their plans to have kids after they were more settled, and after a few more drinks Amy confessing she’d always wanted to be a mom but feeling frustrated by not being able to meet the right guy. Alcohol certainly played a role, but there was also something primal in Liz that convinced her to encourage her boyfriend to fuck her best friend. Soon afterwards Liz was watching Amy bounce up and down on his cock while feeling the warmth of his seed inside her own cunt. In the drunken haze that followed nobody really remembered what happened, and neither girl realized that years of living together had left them ovulating at the same time. It was only around the time Liz went up a bra size and Amy couldn’t get her jeans to snap did they realize what had happened.

The hormones and the changes altering their bodies more and more each day left both women feeling hornier than they’d ever been before. Soon the comforting feeling each girl had of knowing the other was going through the same thing gave way to something harder and hotter. As their bellies began to dome and their nipples darkened the girls themselves found themselves reveling in the changes happening to themselves, the same changes they could see obviously occurring on the other’s body. Each girl could feel themselves become more beautiful and more desperate, and they could see the same thing happening to each other. For six months they resisted, but as they grew rounder and more beautifully feminine it became impossible to avoid each other.

One day they finally snapped. Liz had been staring at her swollen form in the mirror, marveling at the first drops of milk beginning to flow from her engorged tits, when Amy walked in, wearing only a flowing robe, one of the few items of clothing still comfortable in her expanded state.

"Look," Liz said, directing her friend’s gaze to the slow-moving drops emanating from her erect nipples.

“I can’t believe you’re making milk,” Amy said. “I’m not making any yet. How does it feel?”

“It feels,” Liz said, struggling to describe the sensation, “kind of good. Like there’s a pressure building inside of me that I need to let out?”

Amy immediately what her friend meant. For weeks she’d felt the same pressure bubbling inside of her, and she also knew exactly what she wished somebody would do about it.

“Would it helped if I…sucked some of out?”

Liz shuddered and she felt her nipples distend even further. For months she’d been feeling this feminine longing she couldn’t quite articulate and now, at this exact moment, she realized it was a longing to feed someone, anyone, her delicious milk.

“That would be, uh, nice,” Liz said before gingerly folding up her brown areola to her friend’s mouth.

In a moment six months’ worth of pentup libido came pouring out, with the two women pushing into each other passionately, their bulging bellies grinding into each other as each gasped at the newfound sensitivity of their rounded midsections. In the small remaining corner of her mind Amy compared how similar, and yet how different Liz’s altered body was to her own. Amy carried her bump higher and it was even a little bigger than her own, while Liz’s breasts, originally the smaller of two, had grown significantly with milk and now far surpassed he friend’s. Even if she didn’t yet have milk of her own, Liz was sure that Amy’s sensitive dark nubs would enjoy playing with just as much as her own. Instinctively each girl grabbed their growing tits and pressed them against each other, the sensation of rock-hard nipples caressing darkened, ultra-sensitive areolae.

Liz had never gone down on another woman before. But having felt her own body change over the past months she knew exactly where and how Amy would want to be touched. Even as she lowered her tongue to Amy’s pronounced clit she could feel her own body pulsing with the need to be sucked and fucked. For well over an hour the two preggos went at it, coaxing countless orgasms out of bodies that seemed capable of producing more and stronger ones than they’d ever previously felt before. By the end they lay collapsed on the couch, gently stroking each other’s bellies and marveling at the changes to both themselves and their relationship.

They understood each other, and each others’ changing bodies, better than anybody else ever could. Right there they decided they would raise their children together and make sure they both produced many more by staying heavy and round with child together. Still, as connected as they now were, both realized they loved the feeling of being bred by a hard cock, and if they wanted to fulfill their dreams of staying pregnant forever they would need a consistent source of seed.

Luckily Amy had a plan. When he returned home Liz’s boyfriend would be in for a shock when he learned that there were now two women wanting to kept full of his babies at all times.

#pregnancy #pregnant #pregblr #big pregnant belly #preggo kink #sexy preggo #preg k!nk #sexy pregnant

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year ago

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Three for One 2

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, cheating, customer service abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: As a customer service associate, you’re used to work with a wide variety of characters. Your efforts to go above and beyond draw the attention of a certain set of customers who want more than what’s on the shelf.

Character: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen, Ransom Drysdale

Note: The ho-lidays are the daddies and the baddies.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

You bob around to the tinkling of carols as they waft over the store. Unlike your coworkers, you enjoy the repetitive tunes. They are so fun and bright and help the time pass between customers and stocking. Not that there isn't more than enough to keep you busy.

In the rare moment where you aren't distracted, you let yourself browse the colourful lipsticks and shining perfume bottles all around. You don't have anyone to shop for, not even yourself. You have your dollar store glosses and discount nail polishes. You don't see the need to spend too much on those things. Or maybe you just prefer what you know. Simple and cheap.

Around lunchtime, traffic really picks up. Several customers ignore your approach and brush by you before you can entice them into buying some Chanel. You've already hit your sales targets but you never really think of numbers.

A woman stops you and asks for a very specific palette. You know just the one. You think it's cute, it looks like a cupcake, and while you adore the aesthetic, it isn't worth the price tag. It's just powder!

You show her where it is and Luanne comes over to take the reins. She's the makeup genius, her flawless contour is proof enough. You turn to float back to your zone and see a man watching you. You recognise him! Vaguely. You see a lot of people in a day.

"Good afternoon," you sing as you near him, "anything I can help you with?"

His throat bobs as he cheek ticks, "uh, yeah, er..." he pushes back his gray jacket, tucking his hands in his pants pockets, "you remember me?"

You smile as you try not to show your cluelessness, "I think..."

"I came in last week," he says.

You think, scrunching up your face as you tap your chin, "yes! You bought Liz Taylor for you mother."

"Mother-in-law," he corrects you, not unkindly.

"Yes, that's it," you jab your finger upwards, "you complimented my sweater."

"Yeah, that was me," He finally smiles, "anyway, I was thinking of getting a gift for my wife. Just a little stocking stuffer."

"Oh, that sounds so cute," you nearly squee. You get so excited to help people shop for a loved one. At the same time, you feel that void. Maybe one day you'll have a husband thinking of you. "We have some great gift sets, actually. They come with different scents so you're wife can figure out which one she likes best." You direct him over to a shelf, "oh, and if she has a favourite, you can get her a full bottle for Valentine's!"

He gives you a look. His eyes narrow just a bit and his cheeks round, "that's a good idea."

He glances over the shelf and you wait patiently. He turns back to you, his eyes flitting over your name tag as he reads it out, "do you have a suggestion?"

"Me?" You perk up, "well, I actually like the Coach. It's not too expensive and it's nice and subtle."

"Is that what you wear?" He asks.

"I don't... I use some cherry blossom body spray but I usually smell like the whole store by the end of the day," you shrug.

"Cherry blossom," he nods, "oh, by the way, I'm Andy."

He offers his hand in an overly formal way. You giggle but take it nonetheless. You don't really get that often.

"Sorry," he squeezes your hand firmly before letting go, "lawyer, habit."

"No, it's fine," you assure him, "I'm just a perfume salesman, is all."

"Well, you're really good at your job," he praises.

"How do you know?" You say.

"You're friendly and helpful. I have no complaints," he reaches past you and claims the Coach pack, "she's going to love this. I owe you."

"No problem. Do you need me to ring you up?"

"Actually," he sighs, "she has this idea. Christmas card. I'm supposed to find a sweater. So, I need to look around some more."

"Oh, that's so cool. A Christmas card? The sweaters are just over in the men's, right near the east entrance," you point, "they have some really cute Charlie Brown ones."

"Charlie Brown," he repeats.

"Anyway, I'll let you go," you clutch your hands together, "I hope your wife likes the perfume."

"I'm sure she will," he agrees, hesitantly clapping the kit between his hands, "uh, thanks. Again." He leans back on his heel, "oh and, that's a really nice colour on you."

"Uh," you look down at your gem green blouse, "thank you, sir."

"Andy," he insists, walking backwards, "again, you're a life saver."

You grin proudly and he spins on his heel, nearly knocking into Luanne as she comes over. He apologises as he side steps her and continues on. She gives you a strange look.

"Geez," she grumbles, "people. This time of year makes everyone so crazy."

"Well, he was nice," you say.

"Kinda cute, too," she intones.

"He was shopping for his wife."

"Lucky lady," she scoffs, "so, you wanna go on lunch first? I'm dying for a latte."

"You can go, I don't mind," you say, "I'm not very hungry."

"Deal," she winks, "I'll get you a hot chocolate for your trouble."

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't have to, I want to, sweetie," she preens.

"Fine, fine, I accept your coerced hot chocolate.”

🎀

Another day close to complete. It's like checking off items on a list. Each evening seems to darken sooner than the last, every morning rising too soon.

You yawn at the empty fragrance section as it’s only you left for the last hour. There isn't much to do except balance the till. Your headset keeps you entertained as electronics calls out possible shrink and home goods argue about their numbers.

“We need a body at returns,” Lucille cuts through the chatter. “Now.”

No answer comes and you slowly slide your hand up the wire. Before you can hit the button, your name is snarled from the other end. You're ordered up to cash to assist with the hordes.

You leave the ghost town that is beauty and as good as skip up to the front. You calm your step as you see Lucille sneering at you from behind a machine. You give a tiny smile and claim the extra screen behind returns.

“I can help the next person,” you call and wave your hand in the air.

You stand back and wait for your first customer. A man comes up and throws a torn open package on the counter, the item bouncing out of the plastic. You flinch and barely catch it before it can slide off the other edge.

“Hello, sir,” you bat your lashes, “how are you today?”

“Not fucking well,” the man snarls. His mustache tickles your memory; do you know him? “It’s a piece of shit.”

“Oh, okay,” you look down at the trimmer and examine it, “you’d like to do a return?”

“Yes, I’d like to do a return,” he snaps, “are you dim?”

“Of course, sir,” you punch in your ID and passcode, “I’ll just get you going. Do you have your receipt?”

“A receipt? I bought the damn thing here, look it up.”

“Ah, alright, when did you buy it?”

“You don’t remember, little trigger finger,” he sneers.

“What do you mean?”

“Pfft, right, you think spraying people with skunk spray is fun?”

“Um, no?” Your cheeks tremor as you withhold a frown; you think you know him now as you’re hit by a sudden wave of Gucci cologne, the scent of a memory. “Did you have the card you purchased this with?”

“You don’t think I have money?”

Everything he says is aggressive. Your questions bounce off him like accusations. You don’t know what to say that won’t agitate him further, He huffs and kicks a foot out, leaning on his back heel as he reaches in his back pocket.

He flicks a black card onto the counter, “put it back on this.”

You nod and take the card, examining the nameless front. You turn it over and swipe it in the machine instead to search the number. He scoffs, “bet you never seen one of those up close.”

“Sir,” you smile bigger, letting the insult ping off of you. All the money in the world and he has no manners.

You find the purchase with the same sku and put his card back on the counter. He snatches it up as you start the return. You scan the barcode and continue on to the next screen, “what’s your name, sir?”

“Lloyd,” he answers curtly. You type, waiting, then look up at him, “Hansen.” He finishes sharply, “with an E, got it?”

“Yes, sir, and the reason for return?”

He rolls his eyes, “it doesn’t fucking work.”

“Alright. So it doesn’t cut the hair or–”

“It won’t turn on,” he growls.

“Right,” you take the trimmer and turn it over. It looks fine enough, even after he threw it. You slip the door of the battery compartment off. It’s empty, “and you had double As in it?”

“Double As?” He repeats.

“It needs batteries, sir.”

He pauses, eyes flaring, nostrils flaring.

“You think I’m stupid? That I don’t fucking know that? You’re not getting free fucking batteries from me.”

“Of course, sir, of course,” you rarely feel this addled, even this time of year, “I’ll get you your money back on a gift card–”

“Gift card? I want my money,” he holds up his card between two fingers.

“Yes, sir, I understand. As per our return policy, personal care items, once opened, are only eligible for a store credit return. Or you can exchange for another item. Would you like to look at our other trimmers? I can put this aside while–”

“What? How would I know that?” He hisses.

“It says on the receipt, sir.”

“I don’t have the goddamn receipt,” he barks.

“I know, sir, sorry. I can only refund this amount on a gift card. I can’t override the option.”

“I want a manager. NOW!” He demands as you jump in your shoes.

“I… I’ll see if she’s avail–”

Lucille has you jumping even more as she appears beside you, no doubt drawn by the raging man in front of you. She elbows you out of the way, not even acknowledging you as she puts on her mask. She leans on the counter just slightly.

“Sir, is there something I can help with? I’m the manager,” she says.

“I want my money,” he echoes once more. “I bought a defective product and I don’t want store credit. I drove out here twice for this bullshit.”

“Oh, certainly sir,” she brushes you with her hip, further edging you out, “right back on that black card, right?”

She scans her keycard, overriding the safeguard, and proceeds to the refund screen.

“Yes, exactly,” he snorts, “not like I don’t have even more money to spend here. Even if the customer service is lacking.”

You back away, unsure what to do. Do you just stand there for the transaction or do you go back to your department? You twiddle your fingers and bob on your heels.

Your eyes meet that man’s and he smirks smugly, wiggly his credit card at you. It’s fine, you won’t let him ruin your day. He’s already ruined his own getting so worked up.

🎀

It’s another busy shift. Your hot chocolate has gone cold from your neglect and you long to sneak away and shove it in the break room microwave. You can’t mourn the lukewarm drink as the line before you stretches on. You’re only a week from Christmas.

You finish wrapping the Prada bottle and hand it over the iron-haired woman with her cute curls. You wish her a good day as she waddles off. The next customer comes up, slamming down a cup so hard, the foam of the drink spits through the slot in the lid.

“Hello, sir,” you croon, “how are you today?”

“Here for a pickup,” he ignores your question.

“Right, can I get a name?”

“Why?” He challenges.

“For… for the package,” you sputter.

“Oh, uh, Drysdale,” he sniffs.

“I saw that earlier. I’m the one who called,” you brighten up.

“So you’re the annoying songbird,” he grabs his drink again, “took you fucking long enough. Line’s a mile long.”

“It’s very busy, yes. Everyone’s catching up on their Christmas shopping,” you bounce, “are you almost done yours?”

“Yeah, I bought myself cologne. So, chop chop, sweetheart.”

You nod and quickly spin. People get so impatient. You go into the small back room housed behind the shelves of lockup and you search the shelves. Drysdale. You pluck up the box and hurry back out.

“Right here,” you announce, “I have good news, too.”

“Tell me you’re gonna stop yammering,” he snickers.

“Um, no, the uh… the cologne is currently on markdown so I can do a price match and give you your money back.”

“Why would you do that?” He asks.

“Er, because… it’s policy?”

“You think I can’t afford it?”

“N-no, I didn’t say–”

“Look, I don’t need some department store busy bee to judge me, got it? This scarf costs more than your whole wardrobe,” he touches the patterned scarf around his neck.

“It’s a very nice scarf,” you agree.

He narrows his eyes, “you’re mocking me.”

You shake your head, “no, sir, I like the colours–”

“Give my goddamn package," he reaches and rips the box out of your hands, “and a tip, shut up and do your job. Maybe then you won’t have half the city waiting to get their shit.”

“Thanks,” you swallow down his anger. “Have a great day, sir.”

He doesn’t reply as he takes his cologne and storms away. You watch him and notice his cup still beside your till. It’s too late to call him back. You’ll just put it aside, you’re sure he’ll come back for it.

You move it to the other end of the counter and face the next customer, “hello, how are you?”

“Good,” the blonde woman answers with a gentle smile, “some people…” she tuts, “don’t let the grinches get to you, honey.”

“Thanks,” you feel the ice melt away, “I won’t.”

“Adorable cardigan,” she adds, “I really love the collar.”

“Oh, thank you,” you trill, “is this everything for today?” You gesture to the bottle of Calvin Klein on the counter.

“That will be it. And I’d love to have it gift-wrapped, thank you, hon.”

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mightyflamethrower · 21 days ago

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Alpha News visited Blue Earth County, Minnesota, the hometown of Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, to ask residents what they thought of him.

Walz, a former football coach at Mankato West High School, has a past filled with over exaggerated claims and falsehoods.

Red Voice Media reported that local sentiments also indicate that Walz’s Minnesota roots may not be enough to sway voters in his favor.

First, several residents interviewed said they were voting for Donald Trump, which isn’t a good start for Walz.

“We’re both voting for Trump. It’s really the only option,” one couple told Alpha News reporter Liz Collin.

Another resident, who admitted he didn’t vote for Trump in the last election, declared he would cast his ballot for the former president this time around.

Watch:

“We’ve had a lot of activity with Trump,” said Doug Hitzemann, the Blue Earth County Republicans’ treasurer.

“It just drives people to come in to get signs, just to talk, communicate, and have a good time talking about it.”

Blue Earth County has typically leaned Democratic, with the last Republican gubernatorial win dating back to 2002.

However, in 2016, Trump flipped the country, and it seems the trend is sticking for 2024.

Hitzemann expressed doubts about Walz’s impact on the Democratic ticket, saying, “She’s not a strong candidate, and I didn’t even think he was a strong candidate,” adding, “I don’t think he helped her ticket.”

Hitzemann said Walz image in Mankato is much differne to hos public persona.

“He acts like a conservative while he’s campaigning here, and the minute he gets across the river, he switches to his true self,” Hitzemann said.

“There’s a whole lot of things that are coming out about him that we never knew,” he added.

“I don’t see any more interest in the Democratic ticket because of him. I don’t believe so.”

Hitzemann also recalled Walz’s recent appearance at a local football game

“I don’t think he’s as well-liked here as they like to portray him,” Hitzemann noted.

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thefirsthogokage · 1 year ago

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SAG-AFTRA and WGA on the Line!

[Image ID: A tweet from J.W. Hendricks (@JW_hendricks) from July 14th that reads:

Let's fucking go. #SAGstrike #WGAStrong

Under that is a black and white image of a person in a hat, sunglasses, and a Writers Guild of America shirt holding a sign that says "Now We Have SAG HO HO HO"

/End ID]

[Image ID: A tweet from Brig Muñoz-Liebowitz (@brigliebs) from July 14th that reads:

Seriously excited to see our picket line chants performed by talented professionals who know how to project from the diaphragm. #wgastrong #SAGAFTRAstrong /End ID]

[Image ID: A tweet from Dan Hernandez (@/cubanmissileDH) from July 13th, 2023 that reads:

People think writers and actors are soft. And we ARE attention-seeking validation magnets. But pursuing a career in the arts is also brave, foolhardy, and kinda batshit. We have all withstood incredible pain to get here, and we can take much more. #SAGAFTRA #WGA #Solidarity

/End ID]

[Image ID: A tweet from form L&O SVU writer Robert Brooks Cohen (@RobertBCohen) that reads:

The much-anticipated WGA/SAG-AFTRA crossover has begun. ✊✊ #WGAStrong #SAGAFTRAstrong #DUNDUN

With a picture of him holding a sign that says in full:

In the studio entertainment system, viewers are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the Writers Guild of America, who create entire worlds, and the Screen Actors Guild who bring them to life. These are their stories. DUN DUN. /End ID]

Granted, there's also everyone in production, the set designers, the costume designers, the hair and make up people, lighting, sound engineers, etc. But I get his point. Anywho, the image of him in full:

I'll try to ID this one:

(link to first post)

[Image ID: Three tweets from three different WGA members from July 14th, 2023 that read:

Travis Helwig (@travishelwig):

Actors are tall

Mike Royce (@/mikeroyce):

a guy whipped his shirt off at like 9:01 this morning, we're in a different reality now

Jackie (Decembly) Penn (a strike captain) (@JackiePenn18):

We had like 5 actors do that this morning. We were not ready for it 😂.

[Image ID: Tweet from Justine Bateman (@justinebatemanl from July 14th, 2023 that reads:

This is what you get when you give over 100k actors a call time.

@sagaftra @WGAEast @WGAWest #ShowingUp

With a picture of many, many people striking.

/end ID]

[Image ID: a tweet from Will Landman (@WillTheLandMan) from July 14th, 2023 that reads:

Week 11, Day 74. The troops have arrived & gotdam did they arrive! Lovely to see so many familiar faces, all United fighting for a fair deal. The energy was off the roof at WB. I can imagine it was the same at every lot. We will win. #SAGAFTRAstrike #WGAStrike #DoTheWriteThing

After that are four pictures for their day striking.

Also, I just want to say for historical record: today was WGA Strike Captains Day, though idk if that was just at the WB lot or not.

[Image ID: a tweet from actor Christopher Gorham (@ChrisGorham) from July 14th, 2023 that reads:

Day 1. Again. I was there for the beginning of the @wgawest strike so you know we were going to be there for @sagaftra . Enough people at Disney today to wrap around the entire studio’s 1 mile perimeter. Here’s to the unrealistic militant minority! #sagaftrastrong #wgastrong

The post contains four photos from his time striking. /end ID]

Bonus: WGA West showing up for Teamsters on the Amazon Picket line:

[Image ID: a tweet from Liz Alper (@LizApls) on July 14th that reads:

When @Teamsters call, @WGAWest responds.

We joined Teamsters on their picket line at the @/amazon warehouse in Santa Clarita. Amazon drivers deserve fair compensation and safe work conditions (and AC). We'll see you next time, Teamsters. Don't order from Amazon.

Four pictures are included in the tweet from the day showing multiple people holding WGAW signs. /End ID]

Honestly, all this solidarity during all the strikes this summer is bringing a tear to my eye. I love seeing everyone standing up for each other and fighting together. Union Solidarity.is.stronger.than ever, and it's beautiful to see.

#sag aftra strike #wga strike #double strike 2023 #jw hendricks #brig muñoz liebowitz #dan hernandez #robert brooks cohen #travis helwig #mike royce #jackie penn #justine bateman #will landman #liz hsiao lan alper #liz alper

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saltygilmores · 6 months ago

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(Gilmore Girls) talking points I can and will discuss for hours at any time (mostly Jess stuff though)

Saw someone do this on Instagram and thought I'd do it too.

Dean is An Abomination and his own parents tried to abandon him on the side of the road (he made his way back somehow, crafty son of a bitch) Lorelai is a terrible horrible no good immature person, a gignatic hypocrite, a bad mother, and she dismisses and often encourages Dean’s abuse towards Rory How Lorelai married into Jess' family and now there SHOULD BE a cloud of shame hanging over her head that she treated her nephew like shit for no reason for years and now she has to look him in the eye at every holiday and family gathering for the rest of time, but she has no shame. Aunt Lorelai remember when I was 17 you said I should die in a fire and you'd rather save your shoes? Anyway, Pass the turkey. How much does Rory tell Jess about what Lorelai says about him behind his back Lorelai and Dean's affair (The DALA)

Justice for Lindsay Lister Nearly any Pre and Post Stars Hollow Jess Headcanon (That Usually Do Not Involve Rory) (his entire childhood, his entire adulthood, his ho life, his success as a popular author, Jess as a brother to Doula, life in Philadelphia, stories with his Truncheon buddies, Jess as a mediocre drug dealer in NYC #heytawd), Jess traveling cross country (love that one so much I made an absolutely massive Spotify playlist to accompany it), did he ever go to college? Among the carousel of rotating Mom's Boyfriends and Stepfathers did he ever have a few good ones in the mix? Liz likely didn't have a car and would never care to teach him, so who taught him how to drive?

If Jess had such a terrible childhood did Luke ever try to intervene? How much did he know? How much did he see Jess as a kid? Was Jess ever in foster care? Liz Danes...just Liz Danes. Could probably discuss this trainwreck and the people in her orbit until i was blue in the face. I have thoughts. Headcanon: Jess has had sex with any other similarly-aged existing character on the show besides Rory at some point (this would be in the future, during his Ho Years.. I don't really find any joy in the thought of him cheating on Rory) Where do Rory and Jess go on the dates that are (infrequently) implied they have Why does Luke always bring up how severely he underpays Jess for working a the diner? How often does Jess wait on Rory and Lorelai's table? Do they actually tip him, ever? Shane, Shane’s murder The date of Jess' birthday (it's late August or early September, babes. I'm unflinching on this but willing to hear all sides)

The origin of Jess’ unusual name How do Jess and Rory celebrate birthday and holidays together (within the OG series timeline)? If they actually do? Does Jess actually want to celebrate his birthday or Christmas? What gifts do they buy each other? The prom that never was Rory loses her virginity to a stupid butthead but doesn't put out for Jess for like 8 months and frequently teases him while the poor thing doesn’t even have the privacy to jack it once in a while to a Maxim magazine (but also, did they or did they not come fairly close off screen at some point, when and where?) gurl you interrupted a steamy makeout session so you could run home and talk to your mom! You talk to your mom every second of every day! And before that, you run away after your first real make out sesh so you could go talk to Dean! You are beyond help. What is up with that "We haven't seen each other in four years" comment between Jess and Rory in AYITL? What the hell happened in 2012? What is the day to day life in Stars Hollow High like between Jess, Dean, Lane, Lindsay without Rory around? Do Dean and Jess have any classes together? Where do they sit in the cafeteria? How come Lane and Dean never told Rory that Jess was skipping school? Especially when Dean has an incentive to spill the tea (getting Jess in trouble) and Lane is a hopeless gossip and there's no effing way she could keep something like that from Rory for that long

What is The Subsect actually about

What would it be like if Jess went to Chilton with Rory? How would he even get in (I really have to stretch the limits of my imagination but I have a few weak theories)

Madelyn and Louise (they’re awesome)

The friendships that could have been between Jess and Paris or Jess and Lane

How Rory is too dopey to see that Paris is in love with her

How disaster follows every female character who loses their virginity (even when in the confines of marriage)

The child bride epidemic on this show

Dave Ryglaski is mediocre. Alex is under rated and it’s a shame the Male Gilmore Girls Character California Wormhole probably sucked him in like Dave was, never to be seen again.

I don’t even care about her storyline: April as a character is so incredibly annoying I can’t watch any scene she is in.

Jason DiggerStjmes is so uninteresting and his chemistry with Lorelai is so weak and the insurance storylines are so fucking insipid I have to skip all of those scenes too.

The only characters who emerged from season 6 with any sort of diginity intact were Jess and Paul Anka.

#gilmore girls #jess mariano

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