#living trooflessly

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actually obsessed w kim dokja saying that stories saved him. he like me fr

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What did I do in 2024?

I did things to prove I was alive.

2024 really was a strange year for me in terms of my writing. I was pretty busy in the first half due to RL difficulties, but in the second half, I decided to look through my old WIPs and see if there was anything I could polish and publish.

When Your Presented Present isn’t Present in the Present (Genshin Impact) was picked up while it was still a mess of bullet points, written and published over (iirc) the course of a few weeks.

Seisou Bakuretsu Boy! (BNHA/MHA) was written for a dumb contest that I am still salty about because the winning fic was a meme that the server was in on that I did not get (don't ever community with MHA servers, the mods are the most toxic and self-entitled POSes I have ever seen who will jump your throat at the single toe out of their line they have devised in their head that they think is the server rules)

Just A Small Town Murder (BNHA/MHA) is my current brainworm that no one reads and I will abandon when I stop loving how much I want to write what goes through my head at post-war Bakugou

Kaname Date and The Mixer Tragedy (AITSF) is the most dumbest crack (reluctantly-turned nsfw) I have ever written with some of the most (self-written) delightful lines I have ever had the pleasure of re-reading years after I forgot I wrote them. I love the second chapter, but I doubt I will ever get around to posting it. My foresight predicts it will stay at 1/? for years to come.

I have a 30k kavetham monologue about Kaveh's toxic habits of self-loathing that I never posted because I hated writing the plot around it and rewriting it to try and make it a happy conclusive ending... eh.

As for my art, I drew a lot of stuff on my tablet, but never got around to posting them because most of them were for my OCs, or were touching up old unfinished WIP comics that I never got around to finishing. It's my dream to draw something that I like, but my skills aren't up there yet. The only thing of note I posted was this Komaeda-Aventurine fusion, which still makes me crack a smile whenever I look at it. (By the way, my favourite Hoyo character is Harumasa and the closest to the my ideal favourite male character so far in all of their games). (They need to make an Erza Scarlet for their game so badly, and my wallet will be theirs. Evelyn is close, I think.)

As for other things I did... In April of the year 2024, I went on a frantic shopping spree brought on by my end of year exam deluded frenzies (I hated my courses) and at the end of it spent an absurd amount of money plus shipping for a certain 2-volumed, out of print, long-forgotten series, novel. It wouldn't be a joke if I wrote here that I comforted my hellish days of not-studying for my exams by waiting for the book to arrive and tracking it on less than dubious mail/purchase sites and thinking how badass I'd be if I posted my TLs on a forgotten site (here) and how many notes I'd get (*looks at latest post*: 8) and how popular I'd be that I'd monetise the whole TLing process (I did not). A few years back, some stuff I did to TL in another fandom went poorly (the major TLer was a major dick, wow who would have thought of the TL community) and so me, still bearing the scars of that, thought to myself, welp, I have no idea how this will go, whether anyone will lambast me for it, or whether the project I'm about to undergo will ever be finished thanks to my habit of dropping things I'm not interested in, but whatever. If people want the updates, they can buy the books and do it themselves. Ha, checkmate. (My inner monologuing are the only things keeping my innate human craving for socialising in check, sometimes.)

After a few days of looking at my mail site screen and wondering, what the fuck, it says it's been delivered but I haven't received a package, I finally went down to my mailbox in the middle of the night and found out that, oh yeah, it already has been delivered, I just didn't check the mail. Derp. And so on that day, it began. I think almost immediately after I posted the first chapter (on my empty sideblog, with the coolest name ever that tumblr gave me but I decided to 'orphan' to rebrand myself after I the child had spent enough time thinking of a cool and remember-able enough internet moniker/username to call myself) I was hit with the equivalent of OH MY GOD, IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING from a total of like. 10 users or something, 2 of which reached out to me via DMs for [elaboration that I won't mention because I find it troublesome]. So yeah. I wasn't expecting the massive support I was given (almost none), or that my post was even noticed (who checks the [insert fandom] tag in 2024???? It's a dead fandom, the place literally celebrated its 15 years of existence only a few years back), or that I'd continue it via sheer force of willing it into existence for so long.

I have a whole changelog just for moments of reflection like these, and so it's really funny seeing how energetic I was in the first few months, and then petering off to about 1 update per month. In the first month along I hacked off the first section of the book, the second month finished off that first book (it was a goal of mine back then to do that), and then in the following weeks spent time TLing the most massive and boring loredump I'd ever have to slog through that definitely burnt me out, and set me on the path of the second book that honestly I was completely not interested in because the story doesn't really focus on [character and his bf's] adventures and more on societal commentary. Currently, I'm running the victory lap (if you can call it that when there's a good 25% more of the book to go), and I have no idea how this will ever pan out but I will make it my resolution to get it done by this year, I guess. (I never do resolutions because I am not good with making promises with myself, the liar). My friend who is helping me out is currently overseas and will only be back after the first week of Jan, so I'll only be able to pick it back up then. And as for what happens to me after that... I was thinking of picking up the accompanied manga for it, but someone else did it already, so hey, less work for me and I am looking at this tdbk doujin I bought a few weeks ago in Japan and wondering... hmm.... MAYBE.... (we will see).

Other than that, I guess I survived another year. Yippee!

I guess I can talk about my games. This year, Sinoalice fucking died on us and our guild was both happy and sad for it, in the way you're sad for a leech dying on you. I still play Sdorica (dead game) (here's to another year of .... nothing!), Another Eden (they are becoming more cash grabbity...), Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Reverse 1999, and Arknights. This year I picked up Zenless Zone Zero and just as quickly picked and dropped Wuthering Waves (ass game, amazing models tho, if you can get past how most of the designs are ass and similar in colour palette).

In terms of real life, I finally hit a stopping point in my life and started a new one. Pretty nice. 2025 holds a certain significance to me in a way, but honestly with how I am, I don't think I can expect anything much to happen this year, but I hope at least I'll still be alive at the end of it to see:

Legend of Sun Knight get a donghua adaptation (copium) (fucked MDZS for popularising the author btw, only MDZS deserves rereading and I'd never do that because I hate the love interest with a fiery passion)

the Tales of series to get a new teased game (copium, will not happen for a few years)

for Fire Emblem to get a new game (even more copium if you take a look at the release date for their latest game)

Thunderbolt Fantasy's movie (rip funds for S5), Hidan no Aria and C3 to get an official localisation (copium)

Link Click's Bridon Arc that is airing right now to finish!

Defeating the Demon Lord’s a Cinch (If You’ve Got A Ringer) to update (even more copium if you look at the last time the author updated their work and realise it's been relegated to AO3 WIP status)

MHA S8 Bakugou's GOAT scene being animated (RIP CH431 btw Hori did Bakugou so dirty there)

SWE to update their SAO Abridged and MHA Abridged version

Project Eden's Garden to update so I can brainworm Damon the funniest protagonist in murder mystery visual novel history (in my brain)

More games that I like to come onto the Switch (PHYSICAL COPIES) so I can buy and play them instead of coping for a PC

More fics to be written that I vibe with

For NicoB and Kashimaro, the only 2 YTers I actually follow, to keep on posting vids

With all of that being said, I guess there's nothing left to say about this thing I wrote on a Wednesday morning of a nothing on the first of January, 2025.

I'll walk as far as I can and until then, I'll persist.

Here's to another year of living.

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alright... will start back up tomorrow

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hehe

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hehe my gay acrylic standees arrived

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i need someone to get the talesfes gay fluri merch for me pls i;ll pay for shipping and everything ahhhhhhh

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dude, just found out now you need an acc to submit anon asks. its messed up that anon abuse has caused asks to no longer be free :(

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yoooo i finally have gotc in my handssss translation time

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tried to reblog and tag pokemon with a capital P and somehow that activated dark mode like cmon

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thinking about how my WIP docs is 54k words long so whenever i try to search something the app just flat out crashes

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for (my readers) i will wade through cringe (my old work) for you (to reply)

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there's a small voice, crying for someone to notice, to save, but it refuses to let itself be known, be heard, because it doesn't believe that there is anyone in this world that can fix what is wrong

the abject sadness, misery, of being a contradictory soul, of wanting to be special but the moment you are you become too special, and not wanting attachments because too self-absorbed, too self-centred, want too much attention, to care about the other person in the way that truly matters

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i got kazuha at 80 guaranteed pity! fuck me

the trainwreck of the story

think his gameplay is neat

think you’ll get him on rerun and save up for unexpected bishie banner like childe/gorou

see your friends pulling him

get tempted

fuck it

pull 80 times. mona

fuck mona but also her gameplay’s neat (your first mona) but also fuck mona

stew in silence

continue pulling in hopes that you’ll luccsacc

you don’t

keep accumulating primos from dailies. you pull every time you get 160 of those shits

1 day and 18 hours until his banner ends. you’re at 71 guaranteed pity with no kazuha

you start doing obscure achievements you’ve never even heard of just to get one last pull. elemental reaction achievements. finally finish noelle’s hangout event. you are dying. everyone on your discord stream is simultaneously laughing and crying for you

72nd pull. rosaria

fuck it

you pull out your meagre stash of starglitter. 7 more pulls you can do it.

no dice. the slot in your kuzuha-shaped party remains empty.

fuck it (for the third time)

you pull our your genesis crystals you’d been saving for kaeya skin ever since you bought welkin/bp a while back and convert 160 of them for 1 pull

fucking

kazuha

arrives

now everyone in discord starts saying kazuha arrived at the first swipe

you start wondering whether he was really worth it

after 1 hour of levelling up, gameplay, another hour of abyss 33->36 star clearing, you feel happy yet a little disgruntled

fuck kazuha but at least he’s home

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maybe if people didn’t passive aggressive do things on their own and then complain later that we’re not helping them oh she’s soooo pitiful for having to do everything in this fucking household on her own our lives would be a lot easier, stop throwing a fucking tantrum and then pikachu facing when we do the same you shitty hypocrite

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computing majors

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just finished tsumugu logic!!! fun game, love sosei (hot) and tsumugu (personality-wise, hot), and their dynamics, but hate that they were ship teased and then left hanging while the game just ended there ‘WHY’