#living in europe is so fun when its the sole reason you never get to go to shows or cons with youtuber related things

[flower-zombie-rob]

When youve been hyped for the crankgameplays tour for months because american youtuber tours in the uk are a rare occurance and you bought clothes to wear with your friend and youve been waiting since november and now the tours gone simply because the european audience doesnt pay up enough and youll never get the chance to go to something like that again and youre mentally on kinda thin ice right now and youre sick and you have bucketloads of work and the substitue is a little doccumentary about the tour so we can see first hand what the non american audience is never getting the chance to experience because thats a great substitute and definitly wont just feel like a massive fuck you and probably shouldnt be worded like itll in any way be a substitute

[urmomsstuntdouble]

Can you do one for america

Since I received this about an hour or two after posting my lithuania analysis, I assume you’re asking for an america character analysis. I was debating whether or not to go through with writing this or not for a while, but i’ve decided that I’ll try. I hope you enjoy it!

Idealism

The first thing that sticks out to me when thinking about america is that he’s super idealistic, and I think this has its roots in his birth. Everything in his life has been about hope and being better than others, even down to the decision to colonise north america. England needs to be the most powerful country in europe. Better set up a colony in america so that it can save us. It’s that sort of logic that i think gives america the idea that he needs to be perfect, or that he can be the ideal person. And though a lot of what we consider to be the “american” identity (intense patriotism, nativism, idealism, etc) took recognizable shape in the 19th century, i think this way of thinking was nothing new to alfred. He’d been raised on it, with the desire to please arthur sort of in his blood? Anyway i feel like the idea that the colonies would be so so prosperous really put the idea into america’s head early on that he was perfect and that he was destined to be such a great person, even if that wasn't true. I often see his daddy issues presented as solely abandonment issues, but my interpretation of america is more of a combination of abandonment issues and the pressure, some of it self inflicted, to be a perfect country. Basically, his idealism is deeply rooted in unhealthy places. 

Also, a religion headcanon i have is that while he was more raised to be a puritan, freddie prefers quakerism. Though he’s not the most compatible with quakerism, as it rejects violence and quakers often refer to themselves as the society of friends, and are very welcoming, i think it gives him some hope. One of freddie’s biggest problems is that he wants people to be better than they are, and quakerism helps a little with that, because it’s a way that he can help himself become better than he currently is. I feel like he’s been a quaker for a very long time, so he’s not a very good quaker, but this is still something that’s very important to him. 

Hero complex and other mental bullshit

America having a hero complex and also being physically 19 is something i think really highly of. First of all, it very much fits with the mythology of america being a sort of world savior. Secondly, a lot of american media focuses on heroism, whether its on the behalf of average people, like the hunger games, or on the behalf of superheroes, like the mcu- especially over the past 20 years. Though i think it’s a good thing to promote heroism, the hero-martyr complex that gen z has is. Oof. And i think alfred fits very well into that toxic sort of “heroism” that most gen z kids have. He thinks he’s somehow able to fix everything wrong with the world, just because he really wants to. Though that desire is genuine, it’s not always something that’s his place to fix or something that even needed fixing. There’s also a selfish component to that- He needs to prove himself, and heroism is the only way he thinks he can do that. It’s why he works out constantly and cares so much, on a personal rather than country-avatar-thing level, about being #1 at everything. He has to be better than everyone else because he has to be the perfect hero. 

I also think it’s interesting how america seems to have more pronounced daddy issues than canada, and i think this is something that harkens back to the 13 colonies (side note i hate the term ‘colonial times’ when referring to the time before the revolutionary war or canadian independence. These are settler states, its always colonial times.) and american independence. Canada sort of only exists because of british loyalists, as they made up the majority of the population around the turn of the 19th century. They saw themselves as being The Better Colonists. Real daddy’s boy types, and I think this is something that contributes to the hero complex. Because matthew refused to rebel so openly, that made arthur favor him as a son, so alfred felt the need to be even better than matthew- even though, of course, alfred was a bit more favored. 

Fighting Style

Freddie is very good at violence, but not in the same way that a lot of other nations are. Where they tend to be more well trained in specific styles of fighting, freddie just sort of has all of them? His mind is very crowded, i think. Also, the way that he would have learned to fight is different from the other super powerful countries by virtue of his youth, and by virtue of the different regional fighting styles in america. One that’s haunted me is a trend in the ability to rip off ears and noses- Particularly by white gangs in the antebellum south, this was seen as being like. A real badass. I think alfred was something of a feral child. If you know the saying “it takes a village to raise a child,” i think it really did with him. He had so many parents, just like a lot of the western hemisphere countries. But anyway because of all his many many parents, there was never any strong parental force in his life, so it’s more like he didn’t have any at all, and because of that, alfred was a very strange child. And because violence is so ingrained in american society, alfred is very good at fighting, both in order to be fun and flashy and for his own self defense. Though he doesn't really like to fight unless he feels like he has to (and other people are very good at convincing him that he does have to)

Sports

Though america is definitely super athletic and could probably naturally be good at most sports, i think there’s a few that he’d more gravitate towards. Those are basketball, track and field, and olympic lifting. I would include american football but it’s a stupid sport that doesn’t make any sense, so it will not be included for spite reasons. In basketball I think he’s sort of an every-man. I think he’s around six feet tall, so he really could play any position on offense, and as for defense, I think he’d play his best defense against the point guard, bc i feel like Alfred is really fast and good at getting up in your face. He’d have a ton of steals whenever defending against the point guard. I think he’d be a good center on offense, because he’s a bit aggressive and that would be useful for getting rebounds and put-backs, though i wouldn’t discount point-guard freddie, because he does like to be very inspiring. He’s pretty energetic as well, and a point guard can really carry the entire team in terms of energy and spirit. As for track and field, he’d also be an every man- I feel like he’d gravitate more towards sprinting events by personality, but his coach would stick him in wherever. Where olympic lifts are concerned, he’s absolutely a snatch specialist. 

Empire and contradictions

America is an empire. No way of getting around that. I think imperialism in hetalia is an interesting subject, especially where america is concerned. @mysticalmusicwhispers did a good job running that down here, but basically my thoughts on the matter are that alfred doesn't really like being an empire. There’s many angles to that. It’s lonely at the top, for one. There’s no one who relates to being a 21st century empire in quite the same way as him. Then you have the fact that a lot of people living in america have suffered under imperialism as well. Because of that, there’s a lot of self hatred and anxiety and a not knowing if he can fully trust himself. Theres also the obsession that many americans have with people from other cultures being able to assimilate to american wasp culture. Because of all the people who live in the states who are very much not wasps and who can never be, it’s really hard on alfred, though he refuses to admit that things are anything but fine. 

Extras/Fun stuff

A book that reminds me of him is The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. It’s a collection of short stories about O’Brien’s time serving in the military during the Vietnam War. It’s a very haunting book and I think about it at least once a week, but it is very violent and there’s a lot of fucked up stuff in it.

giveme chubby alfred or give me death

i feel like this shouldn’t have to be said, but sometimes there’s people who depict him as being pro-trump or pro-right wing bullshit, which. absolutely not. just because of all the political turmoil that exists within alfred, and because of all the pain he goes through because of all the hate that exists within his borders- hate that the entire world is forced to pay attention to. even though he might not have all the best sympathies or motivations, he’s just so tired of all the pain he personally goes through because of domestic political unrest, and would like it to end in the way that’s the least painful for him as a person. 

Bi king of my heart 

not a natural blond

I hc him as being mixed, though i’m not sure what exactly he’d look like? But i do enjoy alfred but not white, as poc are the driving force behind a lot of american life, right down to the languages we speak. Like. something like half the states names are the words of their indigenous peoples, and even more toponyms are indigenous across the country. Then of course i feel he’s very protective of aave and will always pronounce words in Not English correctly. (if u want to hear more about my language thoughts they’re linked below. Not gonna rehash it here cause those posts are Long™) 

My playlist for him!

Other analyses (age, linguistics) 

writing requests

[cosplayswitzerlandaskblog]

Unlike last time Hetalia got a new season, the response has not been particularly positive, and I’m seeing a lot of twisted feelings towards the show and the fandom to a point where it seems long time content creators are stepping away from it. I know anyone still active who follows me either are or were fans of Hetalia, so it should be relevant for all y’all.

As a fan who never fell out of the show, I find the response sad though healthy, and even if I know I ghosted you all on tumblr (sorry) because of time constraints and mental health, I still make the occasional CMVs. Fact is, I do not let go of special interests very easily. It seems a lot of you all started watching the show at 10-14 years old, where I myself was a bit older – 17 – and had grown a bit more. Long story short, my Naruto phase was your Hetalia phase, and no, it’s not pretty. You’re young and stupid and don’t know much critical thinking and make mistakes, and you have to forgive yourself for those mistakes, especially when the content you consume is associated with the real world in a sensitive subject.

But after seeing all these posts explaining all the bad we see from Hetalia, I wanted to make a post explaining what I learned from it – all the good that can come with a show like this if you stay aware of perspective. I am not excusing all the bad that came with it, for WWII is a serious event in history that should never be forgotten nor made fun of, but here goes:

I went from a ‘war-is-cool’ history buff to one who truly delved in and learned the intricacies of history, being fascinated with the ‘hows’ and the ‘whys’ as well as getting an excuse to look at the histories of nations which I’d never otherwise be interested in, and I know a lot of other people in the fandom did the same. This is how history should be known, as that is how we can truly apply it to the real world.

I learned to separate people from their countries. To give an example that’ll hit close to much of tumblr, when I started Hetalia I hated Americans with a passion because of the road “you” had put the world on, and I considered all y’all dumb and bad as a cause of it. Getting that excuse to take an ACTUAL look at how your nation functioned and what communities truly hid behind the borders, I learned instead that your government is corrupt as shit, your society is rigged against you and you have been forced to stand by and watch as chaos happens. It got applied to the world as a whole, where I considered other nations being as dynamic as my own, with people both good and bad, and the actions of the nation is even less of a reflection of the people in the cases of corrupt democracies or dictatorships.

I separated from Colonial world views. I was never actively racist, brought up in a proper home, and already before Hetalia I fiercely protected the rights of Muslims who are often mistreated in my nation and tried to hear them out when possible. But I was a Westerner, and even if the nation I came from had barely participated in invasions, I had learned to consider my culture ‘correct’ and native and African cultures ‘primitive’. While the journey was long, a step wise process of realizing things like there was nothing inherently ethically wrong eating dogs or partially incubated duck eggs, only in how the animals were acquired, that cultural progress is heavily dependent on perspective and that fucking genocide of native peoples still happen in this damn century, Hetalia was the stepping stone which gave me the interest in other nations to expand my world view. I probably ain’t done here – I have a whole life of outside influences to unlearn – but I’m further than most people I know in my near surroundings, and I’ve even managed to move my parents who originally taught me to respect people of all kinds in the first place.

I learned Nazis were people. This is a conversation which often comes up here on tumblr, and the demonization Nazi Germany and its government directly allows actual Nazis and fascists like Richard Spencer a free pass because they look groomed and proper. Until then, I’d simply assumed no one was ‘stupid enough to be a Nazi’ because of the atrocities of WWII and therefore looked at the world naively. Realizing how little true support Nazis had during WWII and similarly anyone could end down that pungent rabbit hole, I became careful of what I excused on social media and allowed myself to doubt seemingly normal people if their behaviour was alarming – such as the police man who is supposed to be a damn ‘hero’ of society.

I learned how to deal with material sensitive to others. A common problem in the fandom has always been the cosplaying and portrayal of Nazis, especially at cons and the like, and in a similar vein – I did blackface once because of Hetalia. The horrible thing about this is that blackface is immensely common in Europe – at least my own country – and blackface frequently happens at schools during ‘international’ events, where whole classrooms are assigned to portray a designated country. A whole of two times – in 6th grade as well as 2nd grade of high school – I was exposed to blackface as my class was given an African nation to portray – Somalia the first time, Kenya the second. No one, adult, teen or child, are aware of the history of race imitation in my country, but by the second time I was supposed to participate in dressing up as an African tribe, I’d understood the issue – thanks to Hetalia. My friend group of white, privileged, European teens discussed what symbolism was appropriate at cons or in videos – could we wear the Iron Cross? The Nazi flag? What if we burned it during the video? These thoughts are not usually a part of the mind of European youth, and I consider that a grave problem which leads to people making fun of ‘triggers’, downplaying racial issues and the like.

It offered me a means to make history personal. The biggest struggle for good history teachers and the reason we are often made to read and write letters from the periods we study is to make it seem real and get a emotional connection to these past, lost peoples. Hetalia offered puppets for me to place into historical contexts to make them truly real – the main driver pushing me away from mere fascination of war, since I suddenly felt the horrors of warfare through the characters that I loved. Things like Elizabeth I’s court, the conquests of Rome, the dissolution of the Kalmar Union, the battlefield of Somme, the invasion of America, damn slavery becomes different when something you already know is a part of it and you can see them in there. Hearing of people of the past should in itself be enough, and for the closest parts of history (WWII and afterwards) it always was for me, but we are human. We cannot understand the size of a billion, and we struggle understanding the lives of those living centuries before us, unless we are offered context.

I’m not blind to the issues of the fandom or the show. I was here for ‘the r*pist, the pervert and the p*dophile’, I know of South Korean and Chinese issues with the show, and I heard the gassing joke in the show’s dub and got nauseous from discomfort and anger. I’ve always been in the fringe of the fandom due to my social disabilities, so I don’t know everything that happened, but I’ve seen many racist OCs and disrespecting of historical sites. It’s not pretty, but I will believe these people, who were likely young, likely learned in time. And I may have been able to learn these things by other means, but not in the same way, and not through personal interest and research that’s helped me become sceptical and analysing of the world around me.

At its core, Hetalia is about watching a normal, nerdy guy learn how to draw, using stereotypic country personifications mainly from the perspective of Japan. It’s natural he chooses Japan, since he’s Japanese, and WWII is unfortunately the automatic historical event for most common people to focus on – but Hetalia doesn’t even solely focus on that, but is an amalgamation of vaguely correct historical situations played out by the characters, and often it is with the intent of comedy rather than the grimness often associated with historical settings which allows a wider audience than merely history nerds.

What I want you all to do is learn from your mistakes and forgive your younger selves for not knowing better. Maybe reflect on what you got from the show, rather than what you lost. A new generation of young Hetalians is likely coming with the new season, and us old timers might be able to help them avoid pitfalls if we stay around to teach them. The best of the show is compassion towards the people of the world combined and love of history, as I believe Hima wanted it – the worst is Nazi apologetics and racial stereotyping. We decide in what direction we take it, and what lessons we bring into the future.

TL;DR: As a lot of media intended for older audiences, Hetalia is a show which has to be watched critically, which makes it dangerous for young people to watch unhinged, but it also opens up for interest in the world beyond the borders you live within. We should be aware of the issues and learn from them, but in and of itself the show has a lot of good to offer in learning compassion for other nations and cultural groups.

[mehrauli]

The shortcomings of secular leftism become obvious every single time Charlie Hebdo published another fucking piece of hate speech and they refuse to acknowledge it as hate speech even though it’s basically just a nazi-era antisemitic caricature with “PROPHET MUHAMMAD” written underneath it.

And maybe some “anti-racists” or something will pipe in to “defend” us with “oh, it iz against zeir religion to draw ze mahomet” which also makes us look ridiculous because 1. that’s only kind of true, there is a wider discussion of that and 2. people are basically not wrong to say that enforcing that is a police state measure that shouldn’t be acceptable. So all they’re doing is making a straw-man to represent the weakest, most hyperconservative possible take that could come out of a Muslim and is actually genuinely irreconcilable with a lot of the left’s values, values which I, and most Muslims, and most leftists, honestly hold. What’s more is that the position they present is genuinely violent and bad; the reason they shouldn’t draw the Prophet isn’t because it’s “against my religion” but because in the political climate we live in it’s inherently an act of hate speech to do so..

Westerners don’t consider it offensive to make fun of their respected political and religious figures, and this is a genuine cultural difference between them and a lot of Muslims particularly from south asia. I don’t think they should, I think the westerners should be free to “practice their culture” or whatever when they’re not killing my family about it. So when the liberals make this purely an issue of “oh ze iZlAm SaYs zat it iz, ‘ow you say, ‘ArAaAaAaM to draw zeir prophet!” they’re making us look like people who want to violently enforce something based solely on our (real or alleged) cultural values, which still agrees that we’re trying to ~eNfOrCe sHaRiA LaW~ in europe. If all they want to do is draw him, whatever. We can talk about that but it’s a different conversation.

Because when they draw Jesus they’re not drawing him as a hook-nosed banker jew with a suicide vest and a child bride, they’re drawing him in a way that is basically respectful and possibly with maybe a thumbs up if they want to be edgy, like it’s fucking different and if you can’t see that you’re just not engaging in good faith.

Aside from the cartoon itself, which nobody will even see by comparison, the publication of it in the first place, surrounded by a bunch of media fanfare and liberal anticipation, is, itself, a massive piece of performance art with the message that it’s good to #trigger all the angry barbarian peoples from out yonder in order to civilise us to French sophistication and defend freeze peach in contrast to the eastern despotism from which we all eagerly await western liberalism to free us, when we’re not busy migrating to the west in hordes to impose it on them from our positions of extreme political and social influence as refugees of ongoing global conflicts and genocides.

This recent publication comes weeks after Macron outlined new repressive police measures which had the explicit, stated purpose of stopping Muslims in France from developing an independent culture from the mainstream in a country where there’s literally a fucking burka ban that “even” liberals defend as “french culture”.

The basic message is secular fascist newspapers can do whatever it is they want and any voiced objection will be met immediately with a harsh punitive action from both the state and polite society. Again the secular left refuses to acknowledge that this is the situation and that this is a measure meant to humiliate a thoroughly subjugated people. They consider that they should be “respectful” of “our beliefs” but they do not actually criticise the power play against us and even participate in it by proclaiming themselves mediator instead of deferring to Muslims on this issue.

These basic normal foundational cornerstones of French culture, and global liberalism more broadly, tangibly and obviously lead to unthinkable violence against us on a global scale, and it’s good to be radicalised against that. The issue isn’t that it “leads to extremism” as if each of us has an inner terrorist just waiting for us to hulk out when we experience one too many microaggressions, but that Charlie Hebdo is actually a fascist publication and a huge part of the justifying apparatus for the past 20 years of western re-colonisation of the middle east, and, again, everyone should be radicalised against that because it is bad, if we’re radicalised against it and you’re not that’s a you problem and reflects a shortcoming in your analysis or organisation or both.

But even the liberals who think (for whatever reason) that they’re radicals will talk about “preventing radicalisation” among Muslim youth as if radicalism is some brand that belongs to them and them exclusively and we can’t be allowed to get our little terrorist mitts on it. They’re allowed to be radical and we’re not. And that right there is how you can tell they aren’t serious about the whole revolution thing, because revolution as they understand it demands a broad-based coalition of people willing to take direct action and who have a common analysis (that it’s their job to at least inform with their theoretical knowledge) about which actions should be taken and against what. They make no effort whatsoever to reach out to our obviously highly motivated and marginalised community with any of their talk of class solidarity because they’re a part of the same apparatus which keeps us marginalised and cooperate fully with it as far as we are concerned.

And the secular left agrees that the cartoons are racist and agrees that that’s bad and agrees that french liberalism sucks ass and is violent, racist, and nakedly imperialistic, but there has never been an instance of a left organisation to my knowledge that’s gone so far as to actually stand in solidarity with Muslims protesting against liberal Islamophobia. While the secular left may condemn islamophobia on its own terms, it never stands with Muslims and accepts Muslim leadership even when we’re protesting obvious violence and hate speech directed at us. Secular leftism and secular antifa agree that it’s good to be radical against a violent society in which hate speech is a normal accepted and even expected value and in which global leaders openly call for repressive police state measures against Muslims specifically on a good day, they even agree that it’s good and proper to use violence in such situations to prevent authoritarian overreach against persecuted minorities, but the moment we do it, it’s an act of terrorism that all radicals liberals have to Condemn Condemn Condemn or else.

And if we defend ourselves as Muslims, as Hannah Arendt called for when she said that if one is attacked as a Jew one must defend oneself as a Jew, not as a world-citizen or a defender of the rights of man, or some shit, global radliberal leftism will never have a word in support of us.

It claims to be better, and it might actually even be genuinely preferable, but it still lacks any interaction or understanding of Muslim analyses of the violence against us and don’t even think to try to theorise it themselves outside of some shallow acknowledgement of a purely economic “imperialism” or racism, which is only a part of it. And so as a result the global left inevitably ends up with a far-right analysis of one kind or the other on this; either censorship is good if it hurts people (”of colour”)s feelings or it’s bad to protest hate speech by unapproved means.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #397

“you’re my religion, you’re my reason to live  /  you are the heaven in my hell”

Do you think that you’ll always love who you love now? Even if we're never together again romantically, I will ALWAYS love her at least as a best friend. Have you ever made out with a random person? Yeah, no. If you could do your first kiss over, would you? No. I'm lucky that my first kiss was honestly cute as hell. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Well I voted for him, so I obviously can't hate him. He seems to be doing fine so far, though take that with a grain of salt seeing as I don't keep up with politics. Even before voting for him, I just did a small bit of researching on his values. What color is your house? Yellow with white accents. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, I don't enjoy it. Man, Jason's mom sure did, though... I loved how in the spirit she'd get and always played Christmas music in the car during that time of year. I miss that woman and I sure as hell hope she rests easy now. Do you like ginger ale? Solely if I have a stomach bug, and I can only ever sip it. What are you listening to? "Electric Sugar Pop" by Jeffree Star. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? The TMS office has the TV on, and the woman who overlooks it (I have zero idea what her position is called) tends to have it either on a cooking channel or a home improvement one. Today was a cooking one. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? I don't have a favorite author. Describe someone you find really attractive: M-Mark Fischbach. *___* If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Hm... maybe my friend Alon. I've mentioned I feel like a million times that she is like, ethereal with how gorgeous she is. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written below it. She didn't cry at all, but she grit her teeth a few times. Do you have anything you couldn’t go a day without? Some form of technology. Have you ever gotten caught doing something illegal? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water? I don't even think I've ever tried it. Is there someone you wanna date right now? Yeah. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? If we're talking the very first, our vast similar interests. How many brothers does your father have? None. Does your best friend have any tattoos? No. Do you like Ben + Jerry’s? Yep. Man, I want their Phish Food ice cream now. Would you ever wish to be the opposite sex? Nah. Do you think you’re attractive? Nope. What is your favorite card game to play? Magic: The Gathering. I really miss my PS3 where I had Duel of the Planeswalkers installed on it, it was really fun. Do you own a globe? I don't think we still do. What is your favorite wild cat? Perhaps clouded leopards. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? South Africa, Sara's place, and maybe a nice little cabin in the mountains for when I'm feeling a peaceful getaway. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? I have zero idea. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The pond behind the local community college. Jason and I took our first prom pictures there. Do you take yoga classes? No, but I'm actually considering it since they offer those at the YMCA Mom and I now go to. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? To let Jason go. It's pretty great, my PTSD has been less of a bother lately! Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? Could you consider being paid to take pictures once in a blue moon a "side hustle" when I don't even have a main job? Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Ugh... it's incredibly painful to wonder how life would be if Jason never left. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Adele's or Amy Lee's, probs. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, hard rock, alternative. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been homeless? If so, what led to your homelessness? Technically, yes, because Mom couldn't afford the rent. She, my little sister (who still lived with us at the time), and I each were accepted into the homes of willing, kind people, though. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Heath Ledger's Joker is quoted all the time, so probably him. What do you think of the "Healthy At Every Size" movement/philosophy? Before I answer this, I want you to keep in mind that this is coming from someone who is obese, so I would positively love to agree with that for my own self-confidence, but I don't. I believe it's a very dangerous mentality. I think you should cherish your body unconditionally, like it's an amazing machine, but I firmly believe you should have an active interest in becoming what is physically healthy. You couldn't pay me millions to convince me that, say, a 300 lb. person is healthy. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I think my first *real* crush was this guy Sebastian my freshman year of high school. I thought he was very sweet, funny, caring, and attractiveness was a bonus. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi, caviar, raw eggs... Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Bindi Irwin, for one. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean I've had hickeys before if that's what you're asking. Ever gave one? Oh, I guess you were. Yeah. Do you think its weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Not at all. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, I'd rather have one myself because I'm well aware I personally need that special connection. Stepkids count, too, because they'd be my partner's and therefore very important for me too. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? Probably TMI, so here's your fair warning, but I've been asked before if I "touch" myself and I was absolutely repulsed that someone would ask me that. Were you abused by your parents? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Were you one of the smartest in your class? Up to finishing high school, modestly, I was. Where did you meet your first crush? Art class my freshman year of high school. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece Aubree. She's such a wonderful girl. Does your best friend have kids? No. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? Um, maybe my older sister's house? Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Yes, including my mother. Twice. Are you allergic to any medications? None that I've tried. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? No; I wouldn't intervene with their own spiritual (or lack thereof) journey. They'd learn what they'd learn and decide themselves what they believe. Do you like reading self-help books? No, I just can't get invested in those. What is your opinion on sex change? If you're unhappy with your body, you're more than free to surgically change that with no judgment from me. Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Yes, to lose weight. Can you get a strike at bowling? I have before. There was one occasion where my first go was a strike RIGHT after saying I sucked at bowling, hahaha. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Well, I photograph roadkill, and that's one hell of a sad moment. I actually wouldn't mind broadening my horizons of photographing negative moments (with permission of course), because I actually find these very impactful and even builds empathy. I will never, ever forget this one picture I saw sometime of an emaciated boy huddled in the dirt with a vulture close by watching him... like fuck, it made me want to sob. No one should ever have to live like that, especially a child. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. I know that sounds contradictory to what I just said, I just wouldn't be able to do it myself. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Once, when my last niece was born. I'm terrified of holding them because they're just so fragile. Do you know anyone who has twins? My friend just had triplets. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. Are you thriving in your life right now? BOY HOWDY- Do you remember to water plants? I don't keep plants. Name three YouTubers you aspire to be like. 1.) Markiplier in a vast plethora of ways; 2.) Jeffree Star for his incredible work ethic; and 3.) Shane Dawson for his incredible compassion. Yes. I know the controversy, but regardless, he cares a lot about people. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know, given I haven't read the books or seen the movies. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore; his content doesn't interest me anymore. I watched him religiously back in the day when he was a serious let's player, though. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, not personally. I like watching LPs of it and I find the story fascinating, but it's not the kind of game I'd enjoy playing. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I don't think I ever beat it, except maybe once. Are you wearing socks right now? No; unless I'm wearing closed-toe shoes like sneakers, I never do. I hate the feeling of them. Can you twerk? Haven't tried, don't wanna. Do you like dabbing? No, it looks stupid. Do you like fishing? I honestly do think it's fun with all the anticipation and thrill of seeing how big the fish is, however I don't support it anymore unless, like hunting, you genuinely need it for food. The only case where I'd go again was if my dad asked me, because that's always been our bonding experience. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, they're the company behind World of Warcraft, so obviously. Do you like bananas? Yes, but only for a VERY short window of time. I am beyond picky with the ripeness of bananas. Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine and technology. Do you know your phone number? I actually don't. Do you swear in front of children? No.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1974

Under the cut.

Steve Miller Band – “The Joker” -- January 12, 1974

It always throws me when I remember how old this song is. Two years older than me, and yet I associate it with my own mid-20s partying. Okay, my "partying" was pretty mild. One of the things my friends and I often did was go to a dueling piano (really keyboard) bar, and they always played this song. I can taste the rum and Coke now. We had tipsy discussions about what "pompatus" meant. A guy tried to pick one of my friends up with "really love your peaches." Anyway, I love this song, but it's also so embedded into my life that I can't judge it fairly.

Al Wilson – “Show And Tell” -- January 19, 1974

1970s Philly R&B is great music. This is a pretty typical example of the genre; lots of strings, lots of horns, an adult with a voice he uses like an instrument to impart strong emotions. It's a love song, and the lyrics aren't anything spectacular, but they do the job. Very good.

Ringo Starr – “You’re Sixteen” -- January 26, 1974

GAH. Next!

Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Were” -- February 2, 1974

I was tempted to write, "GAH. Next!" here too, but I'm determined to save that kind of thing for songs that have elements to them that I don't want to discuss because of moral issues. That's not this. The problem is: I hate Barbra Streisand. Or I should say I hate her singing; though from what I've seen of her personality, I don't like that either. Every song she sings, she sounds like she's singing to the glory of the greatness of the only person who matters to her in the world: Barbra Streisand. I once read an article that called her singing "masturbatory," but that's not strong enough. It's full-on self-worship. I hate it.

The Love Unlimited Orchestra – “Love’s Theme” -- February 9, 1974

This is Barry White's orchestra, but sadly it's an instrumental, without his glorious voice. It reminds me so much of the Love Boat theme that now I'm wanting to watch it. Absolute kitsch, but as kitsch goes, there's worse.

Terry Jacks – “Seasons In The Sun” -- March 2, 1974

The singer is dying and saying goodbye to everyone. That kind of sentiment may be made to work in pop, I suppose, but I've never heard it done. It belongs in opera. This is schmaltz.

Cher – “Dark Lady” -- March 23, 1974

As one of only a couple dark-haired dark-eyed girls in my quite blonde high school graduating class, people used to call me "exotic." Apparently my high cheekbones had something to do with it too. I was asked where my family was from pretty regularly. I wasn't offended --  more bemused. The answer is "Europe," though I guess the dark hair and eyes are probably by way of France. It's rather tough to say, considering my mother's side of the family has been here since the 16th century (indentured servants), and were not the rich types who stuck to their own ethnicity. Anyway, this is to say that I feel some kinship with Cher, and how drawn she was to songs like "Dark Lady." Though in this case, the "dark lady" is someone Cher's character murders for cheating with her boyfriend. She kills the boyfriend too.

This song is dated ("gypsy music") Las Vegas cheese, and yet I like it. It's wildly melodramatic and fun.

John Denver – “Sunshine On My Shoulders” -- March 30, 1974

Bleeeeeh. I like big melodramatic songs. This is the opposite. Now, I do like small, sweet songs often too. But I just can't with this one. It's too slow, too simple, and feels aggressively, shallowly cheery.

Blue Swede – “Hooked On A Feeling” -- April 6, 1974

I learned from the Todd in the Shadows video about this song that its stupid "ooga chaka" thing was inspired by 1960's "Running Bear." Now I hate it even more! The original of this song is a nice, simple love song. Blue Swede made it shouty and dumb.

Elton John – “Bennie And The Jets” -- April 13, 1974

It's Elton John. Therefore I don't like it. I feel like it's too slow maybe? I feel like most of Elton John's songs are too slow maybe. I don't know. I'm bored.

MFSB & The Three Degrees’ “TSOP (The Sound Of Philadelphia)” -- April 20, 1974

An instrumental disco track. It is one I find danceable, so there's that. Not bad.

Grand Funk – “The Loco-Motion” -- May 4, 1974

A rock cover of The Loco-Motion. Sure, why not. Though this version is not very good. It feels like they slowed it down, and they definitely made it extremely loud. I don't really see a reason for this song to exist.

Ray Stevens – “The Streak” -- May 18, 1974

Streaking was a fad in 1974. This is a comedy song about it. I had never heard it before this, and I hope never to again. It's deeply dumb.

Paul McCartney & Wings – “Band On The Run” -- June 8, 1974

The wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo thing at the beginning of the song sounds neat, but then it goes on too long. That's my feeling about this entire song: It goes on too long. It does change up substantially multiple times throughout, but it's no Bohemian Rhapsody. Bohemian Rhapsody is, imo, perfect. The pacing of "Band on the Run," otoh, is a mess. The second section needs to be a lot longer and the final section needs to be a lot shorter. Paul McCartney needed an editor for this.

Bo Donaldson And The Heywoods – “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” -- June 15, 1974

A young woman tells her boyfriend to not "be a hero" when he goes off to war (probably the Civil War.) Because she wants him to come home alive. As anyone who knows this kind of song can predict, he decides to be a hero and dies. Cliche and weirdly bouncy for the subject matter. Still, at least songs were acknowledging that dying in war was not a great thing. Unlike the putrescent "Ballad of the Green Berets."

Gordon Lightfoot – “Sundown” -- June 29, 1974

The singer is jealously obsessed with a woman. He knows this isn't a good thing, but he doesn't seem able to -- or be trying to -- move past it. This is about something real; Gordon Lightfoot was obsessively, violently jealous over Cathy Smith, the woman who was later convicted for injecting John Belushi with the heroin that killed him. The lyrics are mean, but the music doesn't go hard at all. Except, compared to the rest of the stuff I've looked at for 1974 so far, the music does sound a lot harder -- it's minor key and there's a distinct bassline. It still feels like a mismatch.

The Hues Corporation – “Rock The Boat” -- July 6, 1974

A disco song I can dance to some. Not entirely. It's a song asking you not to "rock the boat" of your perfect love with the singer. It's incredibly schmaltzy -- schmaltzy disco. Ugh.

George McCrae – “Rock Your Baby” -- July 13, 1974

The singer is telling you, "woman," to take him in your arms and rock him. I.e. fuck him. I have perfect pitch. George McCrae is no Ella Fitzgerald. When he goes to the high note, he does not hit it right, and it's like nails on a chalkboard. I can't listen to this song all the way through.

John Denver – “Annie’s Song” -- July 27, 1974

Ugh, 1974. This is a simplistic love song to John Denver's wife. Not just simple, which is fine, but simplistic, which is not. They divorced years later, and Denver became violent during it. (Denver's the one who brought that to light and he obviously felt terrible about it.) The Stereogum guy was shocked by this. I'm not. For one, celebrity is horrible for people. For another, I can't think of any of Denver's songs that have depth or complexity. Trying to live at the surface is also horrible for people. I do like a lot of simple love songs, but John Denver's songs have always made me go "ick," even when I was a child. I feel like there's nothing in them.

Roberta Flack – “Feel Like Makin’ Love” -- August 10, 1974

The music to this song, with the calm but interesting percussion and romantic guitar, combined with Roberta Flack's whispery vocals, is lovely. It gives me asmr feels and makes me want to lie down and drift off to sleep. So, uh. Not exactly what I consider a sexy song. I do like listening to it, as it's nice and calming, but I don't think that was the intent.

Paper Lace – “The Night Chicago Died” -- August 17, 1974

And I will definitely need some relaxation after this garbage. Okay so, this travesty was by Brits who: 1) Thought there was an East Side of Chicago. That's Lake Michigan. 2) Thought it would be cute to write a song in which Al Capone tried to literally take over Chicago by killing all the cops (he bribed cops, he didn't kill them, and he was a criminal, not an insurrectionary.) 3) Sing "glory be" because they obviously think that's a super American thing to do. "In the land of the dollar bill." WHAT? This song makes me want to punt Paper Lace into the East Side of Chicago.

Paul Anka – “(You’re) Having My Baby” -- August 24, 1974

Notoriously one of the worst pop songs ever. The singer thinks "you" (that makes it worse) are having his baby solely and only because you love him. Monumental narcissism, just completely heinous, plus it's musical glop.

Eric Clapton – “I Shot The Sheriff” -- September 14, 1974

This is not Bob Marley's version. Bob Marley's version is so much better, and it's the one I've heard a lot, so when I turned this one on I was confused for a second.

Barry White – “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe” -- September 21, 1974

Oh thank god. Barry White is one of my favorite singers, and this is one of my favorite songs. This is a sexy love song by a great artist.

Andy Kim – “Rock Me Gently” -- September 28, 1974

Andy Kim's voice sounds incredibly mid-70s. What's with men asking their lovers to rock them this year? The chorus is pretty good, and has a real beat. He's asking his lover to be gentle, and "I have never been loved like this before." That's nice. It's cheese, but it's fine.

Olivia Newton-John – “I Honestly Love You” -- October 5, 1974

A lot of the time when someone says they "honestly" something without prompting, they're lying. So this song sounds weird to me. "I love you/ I honestly love you" -- um, you sure about that? Though the singer has no reason to pretend she loves the person she's singing to, and every reason not to, since they're both with someone else. She just wants to tell you she loves you and leave it at that. Yeah, that's likely. Olivia Newton-John is a good singer, and she's especially good at acting a song. I feel she should have been on Broadway. In any case, while this is a slow soft song in an era with way too many of those, it's one of the better ones. It's not overly slow or particularly goopy.

Billy Preston – “Nothing From Nothing” -- October 19, 1974

If there's such a thing as vaudeville rock, this is it. He doesn't want to be your hero or your highness, so it sounds like he wants an equal relationship. He also says "I'm a soldier in the war on poverty," which makes it sounds like he's saying you have to have money if you want to get with him, but maybe not. He sings "you gotta bring a little something, girl, if you want to be with me," which may or may not be monetary. It's bouncy and all, but Billy Preston's done better.

Dionne Warwick & The Spinners – “Then Came You” -- October 26, 1974

A song about finally finding love. Plenty of good orchestration, a good beat, and of course Dionne Warwick's voice. I like it.

Stevie Wonder – “You Haven’t Done Nothin'” -- November 2, 1974

The "you" in this song is Richard Nixon. Stevie Wonder is one of the most love everyone, let's all come together artists in existence. But here, he was angry. "We would not care to wake up to the nightmare/ That's becoming real life/ But when misled who knows a person's mind/ Can turn as cold as ice." The Republican Party is still Nixon's party -- they love him almost as much as they do Reagan. This song is funky and good and the only reason I don't feel it more is that it's not angry enough.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive – “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” -- November 9, 1974

They were goofing around in the studio, and lead singer Randy Bachman wanted to make fun of his brother's stutter. When this song became a hit, Randy was mortified. But even with nasty, juvenile intentions behind it, this song is good. It also sounds happy and not mean at all. It's a rather silly song about first experiencing sex, and it's fun.

John Lennon – “Whatever Gets You Thru The Night” -- November 16, 1974

John Lennon's voice was always kinda nasal, but it's really nasal on this song. Anyway, this song may as well be called "you do you." It's a song that in theory I should not find boring, but in practice I do. I have finally found out why: Elton John helped him with it. It sounds very Elton John-ish. Which means I don't really have anything else to say.

Billy Swan – “I Can Help” -- November 23, 1974

Some old-fashioned rockability is a nice change. The singer sees that the woman needs some help, so "let me help." "I got two strong arms/ Let me help." I immediately think of a romance between a farmhand and a widow woman. "It would sure do me good to do you good." That's a pretty concise description of love. Billy Swain's voice is kinda thin; Elvis did a cover of this, and it's a lot better. Billy Swain's version is sweet and all, but Elvis' is irresistible.

Carl Douglas – “Kung Fu Fighting” -- December 7, 1974

This isn't a song about actual kung fu; it's about kung fu movies. It's a fanboy telling you all about the cool movie he just saw, though not telling you a thing about the plot. Just the "expert timing" and stuff. Trying to analyze "Kung Fu Fighting" feels really silly. It's a rare enjoyable novelty song by an actual musician.

Harry Chapin – “Cat’s In The Cradle” -- December 21, 1974

A cover of this song by Ugly Kid Joe became a hit in 1992. And it was massively overplayed, so I hate this song. This father/son stuff bores me anyway, speaking of overplayed.

Helen Reddy – “Angie Baby” -- December 28, 1974

This song is deeply strange, which is a mark in its favor. It's a story song about a girl who has no friends and had to be taken out of school because she's "a little touched." She lives in a world of make-believe, listening to the radio all the time. A neighbor boy comes along to rape her. But as soon as he walks into her room... "Toward the radio he's bound/ Never to be found." He becomes her "secret lover," trapped in the radio. "It's so nice to be insane/ No one asks you to explain." Is Angie really "insane," or is she a sorceress whose rock n' roll powers everyone looks away from? Both? I'm not sure what I think of this song, but it is interesting, and that's always good.

BEST OF 1974 -- "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" by Barry White WORST OF 1974 -- "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka

[blckthvrns]

Have you seen ATHENA BLACKTHORN? THEA is in SOPHOMORE year. The ACTING MAJOR is/are 20 years old & is a ARIES. People say SHE is/are OUTGOING, TENACIOUS, QUICK TEMPERED and CALCULATING. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONVINCED HER HISTORY PROFESSOR TO LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR HER, AND THEN LEFT HIM.

(repost for the new acct, she hasn’t changed she’s still awful)

❣ . STATISTICS

name : Athena Rosaline Blackthorn

nicknames: Thea, T, Thena

age : twenty

school year : sophomore

major : acting / film studies

date of birth : 2nd april

zodiac sign : aries

sexuality : pansexual

+ traits : outgoing, tenacious

- traits : quick tempered, calculating

❣. PERSONALITY :

Thea is outgoing to a fault, the first to raise her hand in a lecture and one of the last lingering at the end of class, chatting to her classmates.

thrives being in calloway, loves the elitism of it all, the romanticism of secret letters and iron clad gates of society secrets.

a mix between cher horowitz, blair waldorf, veronica sawyer & a hint of eve polastri

likes who she likes and hates who she doesn’t, always one to veer sharply one way or the other. Indifference isn’t something she often feels towards people, though it’s usually due to the fact that to her, it means they’re just plain forgettable.

can be incredibly easy to get along with when she wants to be, insufferable the next.

probably considered more often than not a drama queen by most, one of those out there acting majors who craves a spotlight and a table to dance on.

❣. BACKGROUND :

Athena is one of quite a few blackthorn children, all born to leander and apollonia blackthorn. She and her brother were born together on a cloudy night in early April, Thea born first, desperate to make her way into the world with a wail of strong lungs and tenacity.

the blackthorns themselves have a bit of a tumultuous history, scarcely heard of before their rise into the ranks of the wealthy in 1921. Very Kennedy-esque, prominence now runs in their blood. But power and wealth always come at a cost.

Some call their family cursed, whether it be the will of a scorned witch or karmic justice balancing the world once more, living and loving as a blackthorn was never intended to be easy.

& while Thea doesn’t want to believe in the curse, it’s hard to ignore. Blackthorns die, or their loved ones die, it’s all one big circle of death and heartbreak and she can’t exactly deny it. If anything she points it out when it’s convenient to her, an excuse, a reason, a justification for behaviors she indulges in.

In her own mind, her version of the curse upon them is unforgivable. Is it a worse curse to lose the ones you love, or to never feel that grip of love to begin with? To never truly be lovable keeps her alive and well sure, but that chasm in her chest remains unfilled.

Growing up in a family where competition was as common as breathing made her stronger, if not smarter. Named after the goddess of war, to her it was a blood right. She learned to outwit to get what she wanted, what she lacked in stature or strength she had tenfold in wit and charm. Innocent eyes and a conniving little need to have her way. Her brother, while her other half, was all the heart, where she remained the head. It worked for her, in most ways.

went to a boarding school in europe for most of her early education, spending winter breaks and summers back in romania when she could.

Thea thrived on attention, and tried out a few hobbies and extracurriculars before acting became her passion. It was fun to her, to become other people with emotions and dreams so different from her own. It was fun seeing what those characters brought out in other people. If she didn’t like what she was given, she could shift, change, become someone better. Maybe just maybe, you never knew her at all. try again, look at the surface once more.

convinced her parents to allow her to attend of all things, a public school in manhattan. LaGuardia School of Music & Art to be exact, too many gossip girl fantasies interwoven with the knowledge of the stars its campus produced, she begged and pleaded and argued until she got her way. truly her biggest con to date.

Thea spent those years diving into becoming unending versions of herself. Took in the world around her, a city that never slept full of millions of souls to bare. She went out, partied, discovered, lived the life free of chains of her own making for once

The fact that she HERSELF was never discovered and whisked away to stardom she chalks up to another result of her curse. To be adored, but never truly loved. To be wanted, but never feel that love within herself for someone else. Was she unlovable, or just incapable of feeling it? She could scratch up every emotion under the moon in a second for performance. Anger, grief, passion. But love? Thea wasn’t sure she’d ever feel it.

She dated of course, various boys and girls at school or those whirlwind affairs on her summers home. But nothing ever lingered, ever stuck. She was always meant to be a little too much, yet never quite enough to hold on to. But the rush of feeling like someone’s entire universe was quickly an addiction.

Lust, was something else entirely. Lust was primal, immediate, and something she could cling to. She slept around and had her fun, but never let it linger, never stayed after to see whatever would soon cloud her partner’s gaze,

Coming to Yates was in part for the theatre department, but mostly for the whispers of the existence of the societies mentioned by her brothers. Call it a terrible fantasy, but visions of dark academia aesthetics and elite college life pulled her in. In her eyes her big break is still on the horizon, just a little further than anticipated.

Which brings us to last fall, her first year on campus. Met her history professor, noticed the way he couldn’t take his eyes off her. It was a new kind of thrill, having a weird sort of power over a grown man. He called her his ‘little goddess’ a term she found a bit condescending but whatever, the attention was devoted, almost reverent. It was easy to see how far she could stretch it, gifts he would give her, sweet nothings of their could be future if he just did something about it.

& After a while of doing nothing more than exchanging messages, having secret coffee dates out of town, he mentioned leaving his wife so they could start over, be the love story he envisioned them as.

That was when Thea realized what it would entail, how the rest of the little fairy tale would play out once the fun little scandal of it all faded. Doting housewife to a history professor, step mom to two teens who sounded already annoyingly perfect on paper. All mapped out. Gross, in summary. So he made his plans, and she made hers. Her plans left him in the dust, even as his divorce papers were signed sealed, delivered.

So she’s newly single-adjacent, though not sure where it’ll take her next. Her focus is back where it belongs on her and her alone, where she hopes it stays.

❣. HEADCANONS :

she loves being loved. It is a part of the reason she’s so quick to fall into another ‘role’ for others, tweak her words, expressions, make herself the most lovable version in their eyes. There has never been a moment where she’s felt it in return but to receive

Moments of adoration and appreciation fuel her like nothing else. She’s an actress, she needs applause and validation to live.

While her relationships with her siblings have always been incredibly complex in her eyes, her relationship with her twin brother is the one that’s faced the most hardship. Connected at the hip for their early years, incredibly distant in locations the rest, she wonders if he truly loves the person she’s turned into. If any of them are capable of loving who she is now.

she’s smart, genuinely very bright and just uses that fact for her own devices. Playing dumb might get her where she needs to be in some occasions, but she plays the long game. being named after a god of war is something that sticks with you after all.

watching terrible reality tv is her comfort, often spends half the show critiquing the wardrobe and the other half exclaiming how much better an option she’d be if it were her in their place.

loves to party, loves to drink, though drugs scare her. Something about the possibility of a complete loss of senses or control is something she’s never been able to repeat after a really bad trip back in new york.

drink of choice is fucking cosmo bc, carrie bradshaw.

❣. POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS :

a best friend! whether they met in new york or when she got to yates, someone who’s her ride or die friend who sees all of her shit and loves her despite it.

someone who is very much just not that into her. girl can bat her eyes and smile that smile and still?? nothing. probably drives her insane.

one night stands, ex hookups, current hookups. sometimes she gets around, we been knew. maybe even an ex bf or gf? maybe once things got serious, she killed the relationship before they inevitably realized they didn’t want her.

a fwb solely for when they just need a little fun? Can be very little feeling involved beyond thinking the other is attractive. Probably don’t even see the light of day in each other’s presence.

straight up enemies, hate each other on sight, probably drag each other to pieces

a verbal sparring partner?? girl is full of opinions whether it be in classes or life in general. someone to knock her down a peg or three and enjoy it. Could also be weird intellectual foreplay?? who’s to say.

literally anything else! come at me, let’s do some shit.

[frangipanidownunder]

Twas the night before Christmas: fic

A/N This is for my anon who sent a prompt ‘M&S debate the existence of Santa Claus’. This is set now, post season 11, no baby. 

It turned into something a little sexier and longer than I expected. And, it references How the Ghosts Stole Christmas, so posting it today on its 20th anniversary seems fitting.

A little NSFW so there’s cut. Happy Holidays, all.

He’s hanging his stocking from the hook in the mantelpiece. There’s a warm glow from the fairy lights on the overly grand tree in the corner; they blaze and fade, highlighting Scully’s precision-positioned decorations.

              “Is there some kind of mathematical equation for hanging baubles that I have been ignorant of all my life?” he asks as she hands him a mulled wine.

The warm smell of cinnamon hangs in the air. She snuffs a laugh from her pink-tipped nose and he picks up the poker to stoke the flames. The fire crackles and spits and he steps back, slotting an arm around her waist.

“Have you been naughty or nice this year, Mulder?” Her upturned mouth shimmers in the light, too pretty not to kiss.

              She tastes of spice and citrus. “The year’s not out yet. Why don’t you let me know next week?” He burrows his chin into the juncture of her neck and shoulder and he can feel her breasts move against him as she laughs.

              “Well,” she says, shouldering him away with a slow smile. “Let’s see what Santa puts in your stocking tonight.”

              He looks down at her, cheeks wine-warmed, hair aflame like the fire, lips plump. She’s amazing, his Scully. Age hasn’t dulled his passion for everything about her. She still intrigues and mystifies him. Still keeps him guessing.

              “I’d tell you that you would be the best stocking filler a boy could wish for, if it weren’t for respect and boundaries.” Her hair tickles the underside of his chin as they sway, watching the orange glow. “So, I’ll leave out carrots and a glass of the finest malt whisky and hope Saint Nick looks upon the new, grown up version of me proudly.”

              She chinks her glass against his and swallows some more wine. “There are thousands of churches in Europe dedicated to St Nicholas, did you know that? Legend has it that he paid the dowries of three young girls to stop them from being sold into prostitution. Charity and kindness. We could use more men like him in our current climate.”

              “Santa for president in 2020.” He drops a kiss on her head. “I didn’t think you believed?”

              She snuggles closer to him, practically burrowing under his arm. He doesn’t mind. Her cheek presses against his pec and he flexes it just to get a reaction. She giggles. “Mulder, there’s a vast difference between the red-suited, white-bearded Coca-Cola brand we’re all used to seeing and the real Saint Nicholas, who lived in 4th Century Turkey and is the patron saint of sailors and ships.”

              Her arm curls around his waist and he pulls her towards the couch where she lands half on him, half on the seat. Her legs drape over his knees and he tucks her feet down under his hand. She’s wearing knitted socks decorated with whimsical snowmen sporting top hats and button eyes and noses.  How had he not noticed before? He snaps one against her ankle and she kicks his hands away.

              “Bill sent them. We used to do this present exchange, you know, see who could give the tackiest gifts.”

              “I can’t imagine that you, Dr Dana Scully, would indulge in a gaudy gift competition.”

              She twists and plumps up a cushion. “I once sent him a toilet roll holder shaped like Polaroid camera. And another time, a yodelling pickle.”

Mulder sniggers and strokes her soles. She wriggles her toes and lays her head back. He watches her as her face relaxes, shadows playing over the perfect creaminess of her cheeks and neck. “Did you know that St Nicholas is also the patron saint of pawnbrokers and pirating and thievery. It’s amazing how a well-targeted marketing campaign can lift one’s image.

“Look at Kersh,” she says and they both laugh.

The fairy lights twinkle like the frost on the windows. The cabin was a perfect find, nestled in the hills. The forecast is for a white Christmas. There’ll be nothing to do but stay inside. The fridge is stocked - smoked salmon, Champagne, a Turducken and organic vegetables, a blueberry cheesecake in the shape of a love-heart, a seasonal special from the local patisserie.

              “So, did you believe, as a child, Scully? Or did big brother Bill spoil the surprise?”

              “Oh, it wasn’t Bill. It was Melissa.”

              His eyebrows shoot up. “She of the harmonic conversions and mystical auras?”

              Scully sniffs quietly, tucking her chin to her chest. “One Christmas, when she was about 12, Missy wanted a portable cassette player. You know the ones with the chunky white and red buttons? We shared a room and she wouldn’t settle, just kept sitting up and all I could hear was the rustling of her covers. I told her Santa wouldn’t visit if she didn’t go to sleep and she got out of her bed, sat on mine and laughed.”

              “What did she say?”

“She said, ‘Dana, it’s time to face facts.’ The evidence is staring you in the face, yet you choose not to see it.” She looks at him and waits for a reaction. He nods for her to carry on. He loves it when she shares these memories, moments in her life that have stayed within. Whenever she tells them her breathing quickens and her eyes dart about, like she’s pulling images from her mind, sorting through the catalogue of conversations.

She sits up higher, heels digging into his thigh. “She said, with this real smug look on her face, ‘you do know that old Saint Nick is really Dad dressed up in some flea-bitten suit that Mom got from Goodwill and the sack is just an old hessian potato bag that lives at the bottom of their wardrobe all year.’

“I was devastated, but I tried so hard no to show it. I pulled the covers over my head and balled into my pillow. I cried myself to sleep, missed Santa’s arrival.”

“Did Missy get her cassette player?”

“That was the funny thing. She didn’t. She got a Barbie camper van and she launched it across the living room, yelling at Mom and Dad that she was too old for dolls and if Santa were real, he wouldn’t have delivered such a baby’s present. She yelled at Dad, ‘you never want me to grow up.’”

Scully leans her lips into her finger and thumb, rubbing gently and shaking her head. “Bill told her she was a spoilt brat and spent the morning trying to fix up the camper van. Missy spent the morning in our room and Mom carried on serving food like nothing had happened.”

He chuckles softly, imagining young Dana’s eyes widen and wet. “Was that the moment you decided on science as a career path?”

“God, no!” she says. “It just made me more determined to prove her wrong. My ten-year-old self reasoned that Santa must have been real because the gift was a reminder to Missy that she was still too young for grown up gifts and that her tantrum just served to prove that.”

              “Santa always knows best.”

              “Pretty silly, wasn’t it?” She lets out a soft flutter of giggles and slides closer, kissing him deeply.

              Her head drops onto his shoulder and they watch the flames a little longer. “Did you know there’s a town in Alaska called North Pole? And that a man who changed his name to Santa Claus was elected to the city council there?”

              “I did not,” she says, peppering his jawline with kisses. “But if we’re exchanging fun facts, have you ever wondered how many calories Santa consumes on his amazing trip around the world?”

              “Not as many as your mother serves at a Scully family Christmas, I would imagine.”

              “Assuming each household in the world left out two chocolate chip cookies he would consume something like 374 billion calories.”

Mulder whistles. “That’s quite a feat of endurance. I wonder how much his dental plan costs?”

She grins and he sees the fire reflected in her eyes. “If he could run an eight-minute mile, he would have to run for 109 centuries to burn off all those treats.”

“Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.”

There’s a rumbling noise from her throat as she leans in to kiss him. There’s a matching rumbling noise from his as she lifts herself across his lap, knees tucked either side of his thighs.

“You do, Mulder.” She says it as she grinds against his lap. “You love this math geek.”

He does. He really does. There is no formula to calculate the length and breadth of his love. It’s infinity times infinity. She’s latched onto the sweet spot under his ear. This will all be over too soon, if he doesn’t slow it down. He takes a slow breath in. Rummages through the stored trivia he’s collected over the years. The stuff most people would roll their eyes at. The stuff Dana Scully seems to find an aphrodisiac, when she’s in the mood. And as she rocks back and forward on him, arms anchored on his shoulders, it’s a fair bet to assume she’s in the mood.

“Did you know that pre red and jolly Santa Claus, hardened arteries and all, Scandinavian countries believed in a magical Yule goat.

“A goat?” Her voice hits the part of his brain that has control of his cock, ratcheting up a gear. She notices, it’s all in her little whimper.

“The goat would wander around to ensure families were preparing for Yule and demand gifts on the side.”

“A Mafia goat?”

He chuckles and bucks up under her movement. She moans into his mouth. “Ready for more math, Mulder?”

“I’m always ready for more math with you, Dr Scully.” Math and science, morality and scepticism

“To reach everybody on Christmas Eve, Santa has to cover 218 million miles which means he must travel 1,280 miles per second.”

“He must have the elite model alien-technology-built engine on that sleigh.” His fingers work on unbuttoning her top as she rolls her pelvis.

“I concede that unnatural forces are at play at this time of the year, Mulder.” He tries to nod but there’s something more than natural happening down below so he lets her talk as he works his hands around her back to unclip her bra. His fingers brush the knots of her spine and he wonders at her delicate framework, wonders how calcium and collagen and marrow could be so utterly sexy.

“Santa's sleigh would weigh more than 400,000 tons with all those toys so he would need more than 360,000 reindeer to do that.” 

Her breasts fall and his palms flatten over them. Her nipples are already hard and he muses that biology is the best science. The human form offers such comfort. Such diversity in texture. He marvels at the gentle weight of her breasts, the peaked points pushing at his skin. The sensual warmth of her mouth, the softness of her against the hardness of his body.

“So Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph need some more friends?”

“Uh-huh,” she says and it’s just the sexiest noise.

She’s grappling with his belt buckle and he doesn’t mind. He loves her grappling. She’s always been deft with her hands so it’s a pleasure of a different nature to see her working so hard, tongue kept neatly in the corner of her mouth, fingers white at the knuckle. He shifts up, allowing her room to do her work.

His belt slithers from its loops and she utters a small whoop of success. He captures the end of the noise in his mouth and pushes her blouse from her shoulders, along with her bra. There’s a stippling of gooseflesh over her exposed midriff. He runs his hands over her ribcage, counting each groove as his straining erection pulses between them.

There’s a smoky flavour to her skin, her nipples, the knobbly joint between her breasts. She’s woodfire and spice, naked on the couch beneath him. Laid out as a gift that he’s blessed to receive. His cock is throbbing with anticipation and she’s open-mouthed and flushed with need too. Her heat wraps around the tip, spreads up his shaft and burns in his throat, his mouth, his brain.

There are sounds all around, the reverberations of his own deep breathing, Scully’s soft moans, the snap of flames, the heartbeat-tick of the old-fashioned mantel clock keeping time above their stockings as though they might be in need of it. Time has never been less important. Time could just disappear and he doubts even Scully would care.

Each stroke fills him with such deep joy that he is sure there is nothing else in the world. She arches her back and in turn he pumps harder, understanding the clues that point to her building climax. Hot breaths under his ear, fingernails scraping the planes of his shoulders, forehead covered in a sheen of sweat.

“Fuck, Mulder.”

That’s the most overt sign and he slides a hand under her ass closing whatever gap there had been, pinning her to him so that he can feel her implode. When she does, she cries out and her voice hits his own release button and he surges into her with a shuddering sigh.

She’s boneless underneath him, pulsing faintly, shimmering. He’s unwilling to move. Their hearts beat as one. When he does shift, it’s because the fire spits and smoke fills his nasal passages. He presses his lips to hers and she tugs at the ends of his hair.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

He sits up and chuffs. “What for?”

“For loving me again.”

Her skin is hot as he sets his palm on her bent knees. Her hair is stuck to the side of her face. There are crease marks on her cheek where his weight had pushed her against the couch cushions. She’s still wearing her socks. How could he not love her?

“I never stopped,” he says, handing her the discarded underwear. “You’re pretty hard to let go, Scully.”

She swings herself round and up and slips her panties back on. “I’m old, still sceptical, I’m getting more and more cranky, I have zero patience for anything. I just seem to look at life and think how inefficient it is. I mean, what do you see in someone like that? Someone so bitter?”

He stands behind her, massaging her shoulders, kissing the scar of her chip. “You know how many reindeer Santa needs to pull his sleigh.”

She giggles softly into his clasped hands around her neck. “And that’s the criteria you use as a guide to loving someone?”

“What can I say, Scully. I’m a simple man, with simple needs.”

She laughs harder this time. “You are the most complex man I’ve ever met, Fox William Mulder.”

“No, no, no, Miss Scully. I think you’re confusing me with the other Fox William Mulder. This one here just wants to spend every waking hour loving you and every sleeping hour dreaming about loving you. As efficiently as possible.”

Her stocking moves on an updraft from the fire and she reaches out to still it. “I used to have strict rules about love, Mulder.”

He’s by her side now, holding her hand. “I can’t believe Dr Dana Scully ever had any rules in her life. Sounds fake.”

“When I was a teenager, watching Missy have her heart broken or breaking hearts. I imagined how my future relationships would be. Should be. I’ve broken all the rules over the years, of course. Older men, married men.” She turns her face up to him. “Women.”

The flush on her skin deepens. “You do keep me guessing, Scully.”

“But you rewrote the rule book entirely. You made me see what love was really about. You’ve loved me so openly and honestly that it hurt sometimes. It was too much. But this time round, it’s like I’ve grown to fit the size of your love. Does that make sense?”

It makes perfect sense. So much sense that a tear slips down his cheek. “There’s a reason why some things cannot be explained away by science, don’t you think? There are reasons why some ideals become so embedded in a society that you can’t tell where the line between fantasy and reality lies any more. Santa Claus, St Nicholas he was real. And now he’s a secret magical sleigh-speeding reindeer-riding dream figure. He personifies the clash between the commercial and the sacred. Love is no different, is it?”

“So true love has become Hallmark sentiment, and we don’t know the difference any more?”

Their bodies press together and they’re almost swaying in rhythm to the dancing flames. Heat washes over them. Their stockings are flat, expectant. “If saying I love you in 14 point Edwardian Script is what it takes then so be it, Scully.”

Her hair tickles the skin of his upper arm and he lifts it, allowing her under, so her cheek rests on his pecs. His cock is still half-mast and twitches as her breast squash against his ribs. “I had you pegged as a 48 point, bold Chiller font kind of guy, Mulder.” She makes a breathy ‘wooooohhhh’ noise, like a ghost.

“Who would you haunt, Scully? If you could?”

“Kersh,” she fires off, no hesitation.

He barks out a laugh.  “I think I’ll join you. Imagine the pair of us tormenting him in his dotage. Floating around his place, leaving all the evidence of ghostly activity behind, and he wouldn’t be able to prove a goddamned thing. He’d sound like a lunatic. Such sweet revenge.”

She shivers as she laughs with him and he pulls her in for a full embrace. “I wonder what Maurice and Lyda are doing now?”

“Probably not cuddling naked in front of a fire in a cabin in the mountains.”

“More fool them. This is the only place to be on Christmas Eve.”

“We’re not going to shoot each other, are we?”

She chuckles, but it’s low and throaty and his cock twitches. “Lucky we left our weapons at home.”

“Maybe we should just exchange gifts instead?”

“As long as mine’s not an umbrella with alien faces on it this year. I’ll get dressed and go get yours.”

He pulls a face, hanging on to her arm. “Don’t.”

“Get your gift?” she asks, chin tilted up to him. “It might be better than an Italian leather Filofax, Mulder.”

He chuckles, but shakes his head. “Don’t get dressed.”

She looks at her nipples, tight peaks and grins at him.

He shrugs. “Best present ever.”

She looks at his cock and arches her eyebrow. “Ditto.”

The fire snaps and flickers and the stockings waft back and forth. The couch is draped in soft amber light. He takes her hand in his and leads her back there.

“There is a school of thought, Scully, that suggests that believing in Santa Claus cultivates the imagination and the ability to think of possibilities and potentialities. He buries his face in the warm valley between her breasts and she strokes his hair.

“And I know how much you want to believe.”

 As the clock sounds a soft chime for the turn of midnight, he stirs, half-opens an eye. There’s a shadow stretching from the open door of the bedroom to the fire, now just ashes in the hearth. It’s large and round. There’s a cool draft and Scully shivers in her sleep. He pulls the blanket higher over them as she snuggles closer. There’s a scraping noise and a soft jingle of bells. He sinks back down against the pillow and smiles as he drifts back to sleep.

[recentanimenews]

All You Need is a White Piece of Paper and Pen: A Conversation with Monster and 20th Century Boys Creator Naoki Urasawa

Editor's Note: This is a republication of a feature by Cayla Coats that originally appeared on Crunchyroll News on 2/6/19.

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    This article is brought to you by JAPAN HOUSE. JAPAN HOUSE is a cultural project that aims to nurture a deeper understanding and appreciation of Japan in the international community. Through outreach projects centered in its three locations in Los Angeles, São Paolo, and London, JAPAN HOUSE aims to drive further intellectual exchange between Japan and the world.

***

Naoki Urasawa is one of the modern masters of manga. The artist behind series such as Monster, 20th Century Boys, Master Keaton, and Pluto, his work has earned countless accolades from critics, including the prestigious Eisner Award (think the Oscars of the American comics industry). Urasawa-sensei’s work is currently on display in an exhibit titled This is MANGA - the Art of NAOKI URASAWAat JAPAN HOUSE Los Angeles. This is marks the first solo exhibition of his work in North America, and is truly a landmark achievement for mainstream acceptance of manga as an artform.

I had the huge privilege of being invited by JAPAN HOUSE to attend the exhibition and interview Urasawa-sensei. The exhibit was, without exaggeration, quite breathtaking. As a lifelong fan of anime and manga, seeing Urasawa-sensei’s impeccable art framed and displayed with the same care one could find at an art museum was truly wonderful. Images from my visit will follow below, but if you have the chance to see the exhibit in person before its closing on March 28th, please do so. Urasawa-sensei has to be one of the most thoughtful creators I have had the pleasure of interviewing–every answer he gave seemed like a selection from a well-researched written essay! I’m extremely grateful to Japan House for giving me this opportunity to speak with one of manga’s living legends.

Our first question is about how you began as a manga artist. You graduated with a degree in Economics from Meisei University. Did you originally plan to work in the financial industry? What led you to becoming a manga creator?

I think very early on the idea of becoming a manga artist wasn’t on my mind. I started writing manga when I was about four or five years old and when I was eight I drew my first full story to completion. It’s interesting, because at that age I sort of understood the depth of what it meant to create manga, so I could really feel the deep gulf between what I was doing and what a real manga artist was doing. I didn’t want to publish manga for the sole purpose of just making money–I could see that there was a lot of manga that had been commercialized and you could smell the money in it. That really wasn’t what I was interested in.

It’s funny, when I was really young, when I would visit my uncle he would tell me, “oh wow, Naoki, your drawings are so amazing! You could become a manga artist!” That’s when I thought, “oh man, this guy doesn’t know anything about what real manga is.” That’s why I never really thought of pursuing the path of a professional manga artist. I studied economics and thought I would work at some company somewhere.

Colored panel from Monster above a display case with drafts of spreads

We’re going to move into some questions about your specific works. Your manga Monster is set in Cold War-era Germany. What made you decide to tell the story there instead of Japan?

A little while back, I wrote something called Pineapple Army, and it was originally set in New York. But my editor at the time felt that the reader demographic for this particular magazine was males aged 40 and over, and they’re probably more likely to be engaged by stories set in Europe. That’s why, after a turning point in the story, the setting moves to England, the same setting of another series I worked on called Master Keaton.

I think in Japan, our medical industry was influenced by a lot of German technology at the time, so when we think of medicine in Japan, a natural association is Germany. So when I began to write Monster, the protagonist is a doctor and setting the story in Germany seemed natural. As I developed the story, it made sense to place it specifically in post-war Germany so the story could incorporate the neo-nazi movement into the story.

That’s so fascinating. I think a lot of American readers probably missed the connection between the Japanese medical industry and German influence. I think they’ll be very interested to hear that.

When you have your medical records in Japan, often doctors will write them in German as well so that the patients can’t see what the doctor is writing down. That’s just another small way Germany shows up in the way we practice medicine.

The ‘manga tent’ was one of the coolest aspects of the exhibit. You could walk through it!

Moving on to your series Pluto, what led you to pursue a retelling of Astro Boy?

Within the story of Astro Boy, Osamu Tezuka wrote that the character of Astro Boy was built in 2003. So in 2003, to celebrate the birth year of Astro Boy, the rights holders opened up the property and many different manga artists reimagined the story of Astro Boy in their own style. Lots of artists were doing tributes and illustrations or short one-off manga to celebrate his birth year.

“The Greatest Robot in the World” is a very popular arc in Astro Boy, so I asked, “isn’t anyone going to remake this? It’s a great story that needs to be developed more!” Of course, no one had the courage to take on such a big task. My editor asked, “hey, why don’t you do it?” and I said, “oh no, I couldn’t possibly do that, that’s crazy!” Of course, here we are now.

Was the goal with Pluto always to tell a darker story that referenced contemporary events, or did these themes arise organically through the course of writing the story?

I think that the idea of Tezuka’s work being lighthearted is a common misconception–his stories are actually very, very dark. I think when it’s been animated and adapted into many different formats, the general consensus about Tezuka’s work is that it is “pure” and “family friendly.” Astro Boy even aired on primetime TV in Japan. In this way, his work has sort of been reimagined as very wholesome and safe content, but if you really look at Tezuka’s work on a deeper level, it’s very dark. If you aim to properly adapt or remake any of Tezuka’s work, you will naturally end up with a very dark story.

Costume for the character ‘Friend’ from a live action adaptation of 20th Century Boys

Are there any other stories from other artists that you would like to retell in the same fashion as Pluto?

(Solemnly) Never again.

(Everyone laughs)

I’m a very big fan of Tezuka’s work, so I think that sheer amount of respect really affected me as I was working on Pluto. That enormous amount of pressure that I felt both from outside and within myself began to affect my health, and that’s a big reason I don’t want to do that again.

Many of your works could be considered part of the mystery genre. What about the way mystery stories are structured appeals to you?

I think a lot of that comes down to what we perceive as being fun or intriguing. You could take a lot of popular TV shows–I’m sure you all have been in the situation of saying “oh, I have to find out what happens next!” and you binge through Episode 1, 2, 3, 4. Every story that is able to do that to its audience has an element of mystery. You can even take a love story–if you’re binging it and you’re curious about what happens next, then I think there’s a strong element of mystery there. That’s the core of what makes a narrative so intriguing.

Colored panel from Pluto

Unfortunately we only have time for one more question, so I would like to ask a pretty broad, open ended one. What can manga do as a medium that no other art form can?

Let’s take another format–the movie, for example. You have a massive budget and so many different people involved. It takes years to gather all the sponsors, get the casting just right, there are so many players involved to create just one product.

With manga, all you really need is a white piece of paper and pen. No other medium lets you translate your imagination into visuals as fast as manga. Manga can take you to the other side of the universe in an instant. Manga can take you to the distant future with spectacular technology or to the far past when there were dinosaurs. I truly believe that no other medium allows creators to express their ideas as efficiently as manga.

That’s a beautiful place to end, thank you so much Mr. Urasawa.

© 2000 Naoki URASAWA/Studio Nuts

“20th Century Boys” was originally published by SHOGAKUKAN

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[tisthenightofthewitch]

LAUGHING WITH THE DEVIL • GHOST PREPARES TO RIDE A PALE TOUR NAMED DEATH THROUGH SACRAMENTO

When I was a fourth grader, a friend of mine got me hooked on Iron Maiden’s Live After Death. Sure, there was a zombie looking dude on the cover that kind of creeped me out, I figured it was harmless fun. A cousin of mine found out I was listening to heavy metal and freaked out on me. She told me it was the devil’s music and I was going to go to hell or something for listening to it. I don’t really remember the whole thing because I was, like, 10 and it was the ‘80s, and she freaked me the fuck out. Turns out that traumatized me more than any Maiden song ever did. I thought about this while I was coming up with questions for the following interview with Tobias Forge, frontman for Swedish metal band Ghost, who has tapped into that whole satanic panic thing and ran with it. Heck, it’s even earned him a Grammy.

Ghost released its debut album (Opus Eponymous) in 2010, but no one even knew who was in the group—at least officially—until 2017. Forge, Ghost’s sole songwriter, had his identity revealed when former bandmates filed a lawsuit against him. The ex-band members claimed they were owed profits because Ghost was a collaboration, whereas Forge saw the band as a solo project with a rotating cast of players. After our interview, on Oct. 17, a Swedish court dismissed the lawsuit, ordering the ex-band members to pay Forge’s legal fees, according to Blabbermouth.net.

Prior to his legal battle, Forge was known as Papa Emeritus I, II and III, the skull-faced anti-popes who front Ghost’s band of Nameless Ghouls. For the band’s latest album, Prequelle, which was released April 2018, Forge has taken on the mantle of Cardinal Copia, who looks sort of like a demonic Tony Clifton. The album is loosely based on the Black Plague, which ravaged Europe during the mid-14th Century. The lead single from the album, “Rats,” is a driving, arena-sized rocker. Its corresponding music video is as whimsically choreographed as it is gory. These things may seem contradictory, but Forge probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

Your stage presence is pretty theatrical. Are rehearsals for your live show more akin to, say, those for a Broadway show, or do you focus primarily on the music? We tend to focus more on the music. I’m not a super-fan of rehearsing [laughs]. It’s hard to summon the spirit to appear when there’s no smoke machine on and when the lights are different. I tend to find those sort of rehearsals are more for muscle memory, in terms of just making sure I can sing a certain thing … Especially when you’re rehearsing a new set, because this time around we’re going to change up the set a little and at least try to play a few songs that we haven’t played before, and you always want to try that … More than often, there’s a reason for a song not being played, and it might just be that it doesn’t work out very well. It’s hard to play, and you never really get that vibe going. The placement of the song in the set is very important. Like, OK, we’re going to try this song after this one now and see if the energy is right. It’s a little bit more mathematical and in a sense more scientific, whereas once you do the first show, that’s when you go into the role a little bit more, and it gets a little bit more magical or whatever.

Is there a particular song that you’re looking forward to playing live for the first time? Oh … aaaahhhh … I don’t really want to give it away right now! There may be a song on the list right now that we end up not playing. Let’s put it this way, there are some songs from the new album that we haven’t played before, and also there are some songs that we’ve played in the past, and other songs that we haven’t played from previous albums that we are considering playing. But again, you need to play them together and try them out. The real test is trying them in front of an audience. There have been songs throughout our tours that I thought were going to be really good to play live, but then once you play it, it just does not fly because the crowd isn’t responding very well. It doesn’t mean that they start booing, but you notice that it goes down in intensity … or you see people lose their interest, or that’s when they all of a sudden go buy beers.

Does that take you out of character when you’re on stage? You have the music, which is awesome, but you also have the visual component that goes with it. Is that part of why the setlist is so important? Oh, absolutely. Sometimes, I guess people, especially nowadays, people have a tendency to watch live shows beforehand on YouTube, and some people want to know the setlist beforehand, which I strongly recommend people not to. There’s a reason for a setlist being the way it is. As much as I admire Bruce Springsteen for taking requests, basically, for us it does not work like that …

In my perfect world, I’m a little bit of a … what do you call it? I like comfort in the sense that preferably, I’d like to play the same set every night and get better at performing it that way, because you know how to distribute your energy so that by the last couple of songs, which are our most intense … You need to sort of sit on energy to make them explode.

It’s interesting to hear that you look for comfort in your live sets since you change your persona every album. Is that something that’s difficult to juggle—comfort versus not wanting to repeat yourself? When it comes to certain aspects, yes. When it comes to the live show, I think, let’s just say, most bands throughout rock history have found their form at some point. And then, after you’ve found that form, you don’t want to change too much. If that form has taken you to a certain plateau and that has given you a certain amount of success, that will be what people expect of you and that will be what you’re comfortable doing … However, what we do intend to change up, what will always change, more from a production point of view, is what we wear, what the stage looks like, effects and props and actors or whatever. One easy example of what I’m talking about that we should not do is that over the years, ever since Papa I became Papa II and onwards, there’s been a little vocal minority that felt that Papa I was menacing and evil, and they wanted that menacing evil to stay and any animation that went beyond that rigor mortis that he had was selling out or whatever. The thing is we can never return to that. That worked because we played 30 minutes in the dark, basically, with all fog on stage. That worked because you saw very little. But we can never go back to that because we’re playing big places now. We’re playing for two hours. You need animation. You need things to happen.

I watched the webisodes for the Prequelle album, and what struck me most about them was how funny they were. I liked that there was a sense of humor to them and not just all grim and foreboding. Is that something you enjoy playing with, too? I don’t want to say absurdity, but maybe the campiness that’s always been the backside of horror. Absolutely. I think campiness—for the lack of a nicer word for it—is very much in line with the trashier nature of the culture that is horror. I’m a big fan of kitsch. I’m a big fan of trash culture. For some reason, there’s a minority of people who tend to think that the devil and death metal and all that shouldn’t be in any way about humor. Even though, believe me, I truly admire and I really appreciate a good dose of serious, orthodox darkness as well, but for me, looking at it from a philosophical point of view, laughter and satire and comedy is very, very against establishment, church, conformity. For me, humor and comedic elements is, for one, very natural for me. I like things that are in one way or another comedic. But I think if there was an argument for the campiness overshadowing the seriousness that should be satanic metal, I definitely beg to differ. No, no, no, this is very blasphemous, because it’s about laughter. Laughter is the work of the devil. Remember The Name of the Rose? According to old ways of Christianity, laughter and comedy were definitely the work of the devil. I think this is in all aspects utterly blasphemous from that point of view. But, at the end of the day, I’m a big culture fan. I love kitsch and having fun and living my life and filling it with as many enriching things as possible. I think a lot of the things I find rewarding and pleasant in one way or another are represented in what I’m trying to do with Ghost.

Prequelle is sort of a modern re-telling of The Black Plague. How do you think that period of history relates to now? I’m talking from a Westerner living in a Western world perspective—we tend to talk about our contemporary time as being almost pre-apocalyptic. We tend to talk about the world as something that’s about to end. Of course, from an environmental point of view, maybe it is. I do not know, but maybe it is. But there are a lot of people on this earth who tend to persevere. We will probably do whatever it takes not to melt the ice, eventually … Maybe too late, but whatever. The thing is, the world has come to an end many, many times. In the 1340s and 1350s, people thought this was the end of the world. I’m sure that people in places other than the Western world are facing the end of the world. We all know that in Syria, millions of people were facing the end of their world. Looking in hindsight on The Black Plague in the 1300s, we know that it wasn’t. We had the 1400s, the 1500s … way further than anyone in the 1300s could ever imagine. I think especially now in modern days, we tend to pride ourselves in thinking, well, there’s nothing new to say, there’s nothing new to write. I think we overblow our significance and also the ultimate nature of the day that we’re living in. Who knows, maybe in 20 years, we’ll look back and say, “The 2010s, wow, I’m glad that’s over.” Like, look at a presidency. It’ll end after a few years. It’ll change. Things fucking change. They always do.

That’s an oddly hopeful message from the leader of a satanic metal band … It’s there to shine a light on the idea that things do change. Even though Prequelle on the surface is a record about death and dying, it’s actually a record about survival.

SubmergeMag.com

[yvkkao-blog]

Blackboard Prompts

One lump post - might be in other parts of the daybook, but should all be here:

#1:

I have answered this in other entries, but the image that I had of London was one of a fantasy. London is a place where supernatural things happen. It is the setting for books and films. It must be a fantastical place, near mythical. That rather contrasted with the things people would tell me about the weather and the food in London, but I found things like the London fog charming. It gave me a visual of a city draped in a perpetual shroud of mystery. That being said, I knew virtually nothing about London beyond what I know of any big city. I have traveled quite a bit, and big cities often share some things in common, such as public transit, noise, and crowds.

I’m not expecting much of the food or the people, to be honest, but that is because I have a lot of respect for hospitality customs in America. People are often friendly and open to conversation. The food quality is dependent on the place, but usually, big cities have better food options and more diversity. This is not my first trip to Europe, so I have some idea of what to expect. I have not, however, ever been to London, so I might be surprised. I have doubts, though. I fully expect it to be as beautiful as I’ve always imagined, but my faith in people and food is not as rose-tinted. At last, though, I will be able to say that I have been to London, and I cannot wait.

#2:

My experience flying to London was odd, yet typical—an interesting contradiction, which is amusing to me in recollection. I arrived far earlier than I need to at the Pitt County airport, and I felt bad for several reasons. It was nice to meet everyone again, but I can never sleep before a big trip, especially before a plane ride. This is deliberate. I need to be able to sleep on a plane, or the discomfort drives me insane (as do the pressure changes). Usually, I try to sleep for the majority of any plane ride, from boarding through landing. However, TVs were invented, and not only that, everyone gets one on a plane. To commemorate the occasion, I admit that I watched a good deal of British-based TV/film on the way to London. It was a long enough plane ride that I had time to watch TV and catch up on sleep. It was probably one of my more comfortable long plane rides, so I have no real complaints.

As for the first day in London, the first day is always hard to acclimate to. I try to adjust to the new time zone as soon as possible whenever I go anywhere. The first day is always difficult (yes, it bears repeating). People are tired, hot, hungry, overburdened, lost, and overwhelmed in general. I did like getting out to see some of London that first day, however. I want to learn the transportation system as quickly as possible, but I’m not worried. The London Tube is much easier to navigate, from what I’m seeing, than the Metro in Italy (or most other cities). It’s quite time-consuming, I’ve noted. I try to factor in travel time when I’m planning excursions, and this might cut into my plans somewhat. We’ll see how things go.

#3:

I have to say, my initial perception of London has not really changed, even over this past week. Maybe I am jaded from an excess of travel experiences, but I have not really been shocked by anything. I wasn’t even surprised about the scaffolding mummy that is currently Big Ben, the clock tower, and part of Parliament. The same has happened anytime I have gone anywhere; it becomes a familiar frustration and feeling of resignation after a time. You cannot change your timing to such a large degree, so maybe if I ever get the chance to come back to London, something else will be in the midst of restoration.

I have been a bit disappointed by British tea, I will admit. I can be a bit of a tea snob, but I grew up with strong Chinese teas. I entertained the myth that British tea is without peer, but mainly, it seems to be unmatched in expense. At least the pastries are good, and I got a huge kick out of trying London cuisine that I have read about in books, such as meat pies and British biscuits. I think the thing about London that is superb is the architecture, the buildings and structures of old. I would never want to live in a castle—too many steps, and that’s not a mindset that will ever change for me—but I love to tour through them. Seeing a castle in the middle of a modern city never fails to make me feel like I’m standing in a fantasy land. It’s so much fun, and there is history, and more, in every stone. I want to see as many castles, museums, and art as I can.

#4:

I once got into a discussion about “natural” vs. “supernatural” vs. “hyper-natural,” and I loved that topic because the words themselves have certain connotations, and nothing is easy. For me, I make the distinction between natural and supernatural as reality versus fantasy. I try to be honest with myself and to keep separate libraries about the real world and the fantastical narratives. Nature is natural. A magnificent waterfall pouring over a cliff. A bird building a nest. These things usually happen without human contrivance. When not reading fantasy books, I often think of human designs as unnatural. We often appreciate those human constructions just as much. Things like Stonehenge and the Great Wall are precious to us because they are not naturally occurring spaces.

I looked at the London Eye, and it is incredible, but it is the unnatural mimicking something natural. If we want a “bird’s eye view” of London, well, we can’t fly, but humans can build things that will accomplish supernatural goals. We create folklore legends to explain things that defy explanation. Supernatural is something not natural but more than human. I love discussing supernatural tales, learning about where they came from and why they came about. Science often takes away some of the mystery, which can be riveting in and of itself but boring if you like narratives.

#5:

I miss air conditioning. I knew to expect it, but AC might be the sole reason I never want to live anywhere other than the U.S. That lack never gets easier to bear (unless it’s not summer). If I were to create a monster in a novel, it would be wreathed in flames and too hot to bear to be around. It would also probably be from a swamp—with roots from living in a floodplains area, but such is inspiration. I don’t think I would feel bad about acknowledging these things, either.

As for things that have gotten easier, getting to and from the Tube, and the buses, has gotten easier. It is such a common mode of transportation here that it is beginning to feel natural. I’ve only used one taxi, and that was near day two. I miss my car, though. The Underground is terribly loud, stuffy, and generally uncomfortable. I have come to associate travel with discomfort, which makes me think of Richard and Door. They can’t fly like Peter Pan. Even though Door can open doors, they often have to get around the mundane way. It’s nice to come home to creature comforts after a long time away.

#6:

The “monsters” in the novels came as no surprise to me, particularly with A Monster Calls. Ursula le Guinn and Lloyd Alexander, to name a couple, did something very similar in their writing, although I must admit that Ness’s monster was far more three-dimensional as a character, which I approved of. I love narratives and studying narrative structures, but sometimes this makes things predictable, which is also usually fine. Twisting a trope on its ear must be done right. I most enjoyed reading about the conceptions of monsters from “Monster Theory” and then applying those constructions back to our readings. That gave everything more depth, and I loved burrowing into the history, the culture, and the folklore surrounding these “monsters.”

Since I prefer the fantasy genre almost exclusively to read, I often think of going to see plays as a special treat. The play might have the same text, but the company might interpret it in startlingly different ways. I laughed so hard during A Midsummer Night’s Dream; that has always been my favorite Shakespeare play. It was shocking, and it was glorious. The “monsters” were rather more difficult to pin down in those four plays, however. I can make several arguments, but it often boils down to human nature. The same could be said for the poetry anthology. Poetry interpretation is not my strong suit. I prefer to look at syntactical strategies rather than semantic interpretation. A lyric poem is a beautiful thing, and I know that I want the poems in my anthology to make me smile whenever I hear them. Cacophonous discord can be hard to appreciate without the right context.

Time is trickling away, and there is still so much to see and do. It is hard not to be able to read to my heart’s content when traveling, but I know it is important to do all you can when visiting a new place you may never return to again.

#7:

Synthesis for Essay:

I have learned/decided that I want to dedicate myself to the study of narratives. This was not necessarily a new revelation, but the work we have done here has helped to cement the decision. Experiencing London as we read novels and other materials—often featuring London—has been a novel experience, as it were. For my synthesis essay, I plan to use narrative as my theme. I will draw in the study of our readings and class discussion and try to make connections to multiculturalism, children’s literature, poetry, and folklore. Since our readings have covered that spectrum, the difficult part may be bringing in my experiences around London. I want to discuss the bridge between fantasy and reality, and reading fantasy while standing in a real London location might be the perfect time to do so.

I have learned a lot, and I value trying new things. I would like that to be reflected in the essay. I think it is important to be familiar with the place you are trying to write about and/or include in your writing, but more than that, I treasure the little moments when something incomprehensible happens. When the bus breaks down, when the giant raven eats your sandwich, things like that. Those are the moments that make life unique and exciting. The setting is spectacular, but the people and other things in it define those moments. That’s why I think that level of attention to detail is so important in a book, even a novel that is trying to teach an overarching life lesson or twelve. Sometimes, it is the small things that happen along the way that are the most memorable.

My essay will probably include snippets from my daybook entries and speculation on narrative themes and structures. Everything has a story. Everything is a story. The plays we’ve been to, the novels we’ve read, the poetry we’ve shared, and even the London Dungeon—those all are narratives or use narratives. As participants and observers, we make connections and try to delve deeper into these connections. These, too, create some wonderful moments, and I hope that my synthesis essay will properly convey my appreciation for studying narrative using multiculturalism, poetry, children’s lit, and folklore as frameworks.

#8:

Things I will miss in/about London List:

-stunning architecture

-the Thames

-Chinatown

-museums

-parks and gardens

-King’s Cross Station

Things I will not miss in/about London List:

-London Underground and the Tube

-city noises and smells

-lack of AC

-crowds

Some of these things might seem like they clash, but I have my reasons. Why will I miss King’s Cross Station and not the rest of the Underground? Simple. King’s Cross is a hub, and you can go to many other places from there. The Tube lines tend to be more limited, and they’re packed and stuffy. Similarly, I won’t miss the city noises, smells, and crowds of pushy people. I have had to wear ear plugs every time I so much as set foot outside the flat, and the cacophony of people noises makes me want to jump out of my skin. I hate being crowded. I will miss all of the beautiful gardens and parks and historical structures, though. I love how beautiful those are. And I will miss the museums. I think if a city has a museum, it really has something that people should want to come in droves to see, and they’re often splendid buildings.

I will NOT miss the heat. I need my air conditioning, and that’s that. I did love the Thames and Chinatown. The sound of the water is always a balm, and I can never get enough authentic Chinese food. Most of all, I will probably miss interacting with people. I am a bit of a recluse, so getting to spend time with people beyond the classroom is always welcome.

#9:

I’m packing many, many, MANY photos and memories. This has been a unique experience for me. I usually travel with family members. The last time I went on a trip with peers was more than a decade ago. I had forgotten how much fun it could be. Those photos and videos might not be physically in my travel backpack, but I had resolved not to get too many souvenirs this time. In the past, I have been careful to get at least one present for my loved ones, something special. However, we’re all grown now, and we don’t need anything random. We’re all more interested in putting money towards the next big trip. Consequently, I have only a few keepsakes.

What will forever be in my London suitcase is my London suitcase, as it were. I have a travel backpack that goes on every big trip with me, and it is vital to keeping my stuff where I can keep an eye on it. However, I will be toting home a couple of very nice scarves and some books. I will not be toting home a couple dozen protein bars. We always travel with rations, but I’ve never noticed this tactic doing anything except encouraging us to eat out (avoidance). I will be different, of course. I’ve learned and done so much in London, and I think this will have a huge effect on my as a student. I now know what I want to do for research. I keep mentioning this, but it is important to me. And I want to come back to London someday. That might be the best endorsement I can offer. I will always treasure the memories, the people I traveled with, and the things we did. Those cannot be replicated, and I’m eager to share my tales of adventures when I get home.

[scoutshonor56]

Burning Down the House

With a new year upon us, I decided to leave our pouting, petulant, and clueless “president” alone for a while.  I’m at the point where I don’t want this blog to become a regular, though fun and cathartic, critique of this moron’s day to day behavior.  Besides, who can keep up these days?  Certainly I never intended this blog to become solely a political airing of grievances anyways, when started back in November of 2016 - but then, who would have ever envisioned the likes of Donald Trump in the White House?

 So today I’m going to address an issue close to my heart; the wellspring that nourishes my spirit and is essential to the health and well-being of every living thing on our planet – the environment.  You see, I’m a baby boomer who grew up in the 60’s, and was quite the impressionable 14yr old on April 22, 1970, when the first official Earth Day was proclaimed. That year also saw the creation of the EPA, and like most of us from “back then”, I still hold onto many of the ideals of an aged hippie -  

 Those who know me also know I later worked for NASA - another touchstone for my generation - at Johnson Space Center, inside the television/communication contract, for 14 years.  During that time I got to watch the Space Station being built piece by piece, from when the first module, Zarya, went up on a Russian Proton rocket, to the first crew occupation, to its successful completion.

 I still pay attention to our space program as a tax paying enthusiast, although not nearly as much, and thus I watched a fascinating show on NOVA a week or so back, entitled “To Pluto and Beyond”.  It was about the continuing voyage of NASA’s New Horizons exploratory spacecraft, which is now traveling at roughly 37,000mph some 5 billion miles from our planet and still able to send back data and outstanding imagery to its home base here on Earth (taking over 4 hours to do so).

 In a nutshell, when New Horizons was first launched, in January of 2006, scientists and astronomers didn’t even think much existed past what they call the Kuiper Belt (the area in space past the planet Neptune), other than insignificant, floating chunks of minerals and ice of varying size and shape – such as Pluto, now not even an officially termed “planet”.  

 But soon that would change as our telescopes got larger, more sophisticated, and certainly more powerful (such as the Hubble), revealing a wealth of new discoveries and vastly widening out view, and theories, about space past our solar system.    

 In just a little over two years after its successful flyby of Pluto and its moons, sending back stunning and never before seen imagery, project managers were able to plot a new course that would enable the probe to fly past what is now called 2014 MU69, or its more colorful nickname, Ultima Thule (which sounds much more bad-ass!)  

 To go into any detail about the show and this discovery would require a whole different blog, so for my purpose today, let’s just say the level of technology, engineering, and computational math involved in this exploratory endeavor is right up there with just about any other high achievement in man’s history; an incredible display of determination and shear brain power that simply boggles my mind.  Sure, it was just an unmanned flyby, a probe…but successfully plotted over billions of miles, traveling at 37,000mph through orbiting planets, asteroids, and clouds of space debris, where a collision with something the size of a pea could mean instant disaster?  Where the tiniest fraction of miscalculation can put the craft literally millions of miles off course?  In the harshest and most unforgiving environment imaginable?  You may as well try to explain quantum physics to me.

 So what - what’s this got to do with a Talking Heads song... my point is this: excuse me if I don’t buy into this long running campaign of bullshit and misinformation put out by the petrochemical and carbon-based conglomerates, their money-wallowing and soulless lobbyists, and the special interest groups, who for the better part of fifty years have retained a complete stranglehold on our politicians and policy makers.  They continue to control the discussion of our energy sources with fairy tales and scare tactics in support of a technology that is over 200 years old. Let’s dim the lights, roll out the boogyman, and wind him up:

 “It will cost jobs!!  The transition to renewable and clean energy is too expensive, the sources unable to compete in today’s economy!!  The technology and infrastructure have yet to be fully worked out!!  It’s much more difficult and complicated than you can possibly understand!!  It’s simply going to take more time – it will be a long, slow process, and oil and gas will continue to play a dominant role in the meanwhile!!”

 And on, and on, and on…

 Bullshit!  Germany now gets 40% of all its energy generated from renewable, clean sources.  There are other countries in Europe harnessing tides to generate energy.  Our planet is a hotbed for thermal energy potential.  A recent study done here in Houston, at Rice University, claims Texas (who leads the nation in wind generated energy) has enough sun and wind to completely wean itself off coal within the near future.  

 Since when did America become the nation that couldn’t; that shied away from a challenge, technological or otherwise; that chose to follow instead of lead… was I stoned during that period?  Did I miss something?  Fifty-eight years ago, President John F. Kennedy stood at a podium at Rice University Stadium and declared:

 “We choose to go to the Moon!   We choose to go to the Moon...We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too.”  

 To put this into context, at that time it had been just over a year since America had launched their first man into space: Alan Shepard riding a Redstone rocket 116 miles into suborbital flight, lasting fifteen minutes.  Back then NASA scientists and medical professionals didn’t even know if a human could survive such a trip, or for how long.  Would they retain their vision, their mental capacity?  Would they lose all sense of direction?  Pass out? Would they be able to endure and function during the required long duration flight to the moon and back?  How would we even achieve such a feat?

 OK, some might say, “Well, sure, NASA had a limitless budget - and after all, the space race was strictly for nationalistic reasons anyway, to beat the Russians to the moon…”

All true, but umm, have you looked out your window lately?  Pay attention to any news?  And no, Fox doesn’t count.  According to a recent analysis, published in the Journal Science (see the story in the NY Times), our oceans are warming far more quickly than previously thought; like 40% faster on average than a United Nations panel estimated five years ago.  Researchers now conclude that ocean temperatures have been breaking records for several years straight.  Compounding the effects of our melting polar caps, warm water also takes up more volume than cold water, resulting in sea levels rising at an estimated rate of .13 inches (3.2mm) over the last 20 years.  Satellite measurements tell us that over the past century the Global Mean Sea Level (GMSL) has risen by 4 to 8 inches.

 Right now, over the last decade, we are seeing an increase in the number and severity of hurricanes, monsoons, tornadoes and wildfires.  NEWS FLASH Gomer and Thelma Lu, this isn’t a conspiracy perpetrated by greedy and alarmist eggheads in lab coats, nor is it “fake news” or fuzzy science; and it certainly shouldn’t be considered, or treated as a political issue.  It’s rock-solid, provable science that is accepted by 97% of scientists, climatologists, and geologists all around the world, who continue to ring the emergency bell. It’s happening today, all around us, and the bad news is we’re already too late; at this point, if we were to get serious this year, 2019, it will still be a game of damage control; of mitigating the consequences of our greed, ignorance, and gullibility.  

 In comparison, the goal and challenge of beating the Russians to the moon seems quite miniscule to that of restoring and maintaining the health of our little blue lifeboat called Earth.

 “Whatever, our planet is a dynamic, ever changing thing - Earth has gone through similar climate changes before!”   Yes, true – but over the span of tens of thousands of years, you moron.  Man has achieved the same results in barely two hundred.  

Just curious, but what part of 2.5 million pounds/second of co2 pouring into the relatively thin, fragile layer of atmosphere that protects our planet don’t you get?  Too hard to think about, or conceptualize?  Or is it easier for your lazy, flabby, unexercised brain to simply believe that it all just dissipates into outer space – you know, where the alien abductors that beamed you up into their mothership that weekend reside…

 Make America Great Again?  What a sad, short-changed, and utterly empty joke of a campaign slogan… Here, I’ve got one for you: SAVE OUR PLANET!  For your children’s future and their children’s future.  There simply is no option; no magical, last minute solution.  No plan B.  No spare planet accessible, sorry, this isn’t a movie - its real.  

 I simply don’t understand; why isn’t this the number one issue of concern for everyone?  Could there possibly be a greater threat and more important challenge facing us all today?  

 Ah well, what the hell – we’ll all be fine in a couple thousand years after we evolve with gills and become aquamen and women… Although, good luck finding something to eat, as we’re also killing the entire food chain of life in the oceans, from coral reefs to the dolphins, the sharks, and the whales…I guess we could become aquacannibals – now there’s a surefire idea for a hit movie!    Hmm, I wonder if we could talk Jason Momoa into that hard turn in the movie series plotline…  

[caithyra]

Vampire Game Reviews Part 1

This Halloween I sat down and played a bunch of vampire themed games and decided to review them. First up, Vampire Legends: The True Story of Kisilova, Dracula: Origin and Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. I might get around to Vampire the Masquerade: Redemption and Dracula: Love Kills in a later post.

I use my own 5-scale gradation in this:

0: Either I couldn’t force myself to finish it, or I was more relieved it was over than anything else. 1: I had no fun, but there might have been something fun in there… maybe…? 2: More bad than good. 3: About evenly good and bad. I actually start having more fun than not. 4: A solid entertainment piece. Has it’s blemishes, but despite that I like it. 5: Almost perfect (perfection is a myth). I had lots of fun and am satisfied.

(Semi-minor spoilers below. Unless you’ve gone quite far into the games, you likely wont suss out what’s happening until it’s happening.)

Vampire Legends: The True Story of Kisilova: You’re an investigator for the Hapsburg Empire going to the small town of Kisilova, recently beset by a killer leaving bloodless victims behind them. Rumors of vampires abound. After a series of mishaps the rumors do not feel so farfetched. Especially not when a mysterious, young woman enters the picture.

(Left: The Beginning of the Adventure with our buddy and hint machine. Right: The first of many, many hidden objects screens in this game.)

Okay, it is a point-and-click visual novel adventure thing that’s really short (less than 5 hours, and I think I left the game — and the clock — running for a while at some point), and also cheap. It was enjoyable enough, the music was forgettable but good enough, the graphics nice and atmospheric enough and the story was short and serviceable. The problems mainly came through the game-play; this game relied faaar too heavily on hidden object minigames, and those were unskippable, while all others were skippable after a short while. Fortunately, your partner can give hints to speed things along. As for my final decision in the winter-themed bonus chapter? Well, it was Halloween so I thought “why not?” and that was that for Europe. I always try to pick the most supernatural decision whenever I can lol (see Squirrel Elves in the Witcher franchise, or picking spell-sneaking classes in the Elder Scrolls).

My biggest problem with this game, however, is that I need to resize the resolution on my ultrawide monitor to play it without horizontal stretching distorting the art. The Options menu is seriously lacking in Options (actually, that whole menu is a mess that looks more at home in a Free-to-Play mobile game).

All in all, I generally liked it and its short nature meant that except for the hidden objects minigame, most of it didn’t outstay its welcome and it was really cheap (less than 4€ when I bought it, which is about the right price IMO. I think regular price is something like 9.99€?) so worth it. 3/5.

Dracula: Origin: You are Van Helsing. Yeah. That guy. And you have a missing friend, Harker, who had something to do with Dracula, and you have a pretty friend named Mina who ends up targeted by Dracula and now you must rush across the Old World to save her from a curse.

(Left: Yup, same dev as the Sherlock Holmes games. Middle: Vampires don’t like garlic breath. Right: Dammit Mina, I gave you ONE job. One. Job. All of this slow walking could have been avoided!)

Ah. Frogware. I generally like their Sherlock Holmes games, but this game… It felt more like a waste of my time. Oh, I’m sure there is a good game in there that isn’t a waste of time. Unfortunately, it is hidden behind the biggest time-sinks in the game: Van Helsing walks at half the speed of a normal person at all times and speaks really slowly, in conversations that has no branches, yet they will periodically be interrupted so that you can click on the next topic in the list (that wont reveal the next topic until you’ve listened to the topic listed before it). There’s this scene during a cave in when he says something like “quickly, we must make haste to escape!” and then you click on the exit and he waaaaaaaaalks slooooooooooooowlyyyyyy through it. It certainly doesn’t help that he must cross the entire span of the screen and backtrack locations many times and… AGH! RUN YOU FOOL!!

And, well, Frogware adventure game with its strange clues and non-clues and objects. There’s this bit in the first outdoor area when you have to capture some flies. Now, if you have followed the story logically, you will have a jar and a lid in your inventory. Easy, peasy, just click the flies with the jar, right? Nope. You must find a mourning veil hidden in the cemetery (that is large and that Van Helsing waaaaalks sloooooowlyyyyy through), use it on the flies and then combine the fly-ridden veil with the jar to get a jar of flies (I wont say what for because of spoilers, but, well, I don’t recommend eating during the Cemetery/Mansion part of the story if you have a phobia against bugs). There are also several objects that are basically five pixels on the screen because of the angle we’re viewing them at that we must find to pick up, and on the whole, I had more frustrations than fun with this story. Like, there’s even this puzzle minigame with a picture of Minos, the Labyrinth and the Minotaur and you find thread/string in the same house and wouldn’t you know it! The thread/string has nothing to do with the minigame and the minigame has nothing to do with the legend of the Minotaur!

On top of that, well, lets just say that the Egyptian section has quite a bit of stereotyping (think Victorian stereotypes of Egypt and its people in a modern game. Also, potential racism against white people must be prevented at all costs, including lying to a bereaved family), and when we run into our first, unliving female vampire she of course wears a top made of strips of cloth and a sheer skirt (you’d think a rich vampire’s favorite mistress would own a nice dress at least, but nope), and every woman (including dead of non-vampiric variety) have their beauty commented upon (and, of course, a young, pretty girl’s defilement/death is a tragedy, which is why it is so important to include that she was pretty).

And, well, this game markets itself heavily with Dracula at the forefront, not Van Helsing, yet while Dracula is the main antagonist, he only has a few, brief scenes, which were disappointing. All in all it was a 1/5.

Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines: You are a fledgling of one of the Camarilla clans, recently thrust into the secret world hidden by darkness, and more specifically into one of the most fucked cities of the World of Darkness. After your illicit embrace into the undead by your executed sire, the Prince of the City has graciously offered to adopt you, provided you prove yourself worthy to the exacting clan of rulers. Except the prince’s domain is built on quicksand, and this is Los Angeles; the birthplace of the modern Anarchs, and one of the domains of the Kindred of the East, on top of the eternal, political dance all Kindred must dance, and you, baby vampire as you are, have no allies and no clue as how to proceed except to survive.

(Left: Told ya Velvet is a mascot in this game. Middle: Did you know that Mercurio was meant to handle the Voerman sisters and we wouldn’t have to go through sewers and a haunted hotel if he did his job? Right: Apparently the Chinese are masters of Japanese swords and the Ventrue need no neckbones...)

Here’s the thing about VtM:B: It is a very enjoyable game and definitely the definite vampire game out there. It also has no story for your character. “What about the Ankaran Sarcophagus?”, well, your character participates, but it does nothing to answer the questions we are immediately confronted with in the opening of the game: Why would our unknown sire, an upstanding member of Kindred society, break one of the Traditions (pretty much laws set in stone for all Kindred over the entire world) to embrace us? Why would the prince, whose sole job is to uphold the Traditions, then break one of the Traditions and allow the ill-begotten progeny live?

Except for the opening of the game, we never hear from our sire again, nor the questions raised during the opening. And that makes our player character a bit superfluous when any random neonate could serve just as well.

So if not story-telling, what does VtM:B do that makes people sing its praises? In short? Characters and the World. It is incredibly atmospheric and while characters don’t develop (vampires are static by nature in this world, and most characters in the game are entrenched in their places and wont be shaken by some random baby vampire showing up), they are all very distinct and written in different tones. However, if you’re not role-playing as an ignorant fledgling, but meta-playing with some Vampire the Masquerade lore known, you will feel extremely railroaded (if your character had any inkling of who Smiling Jack is in the World of Darkness, they would never believe his coarse but kind uncle-figure thing he’s got going on. Because even before a certain hugely Biblical spoiler got involved, Jack was an imposer, liar, manipulator and mass-murderer who has sired many, many thin-blooded vampires and abandoned them to their fates. There’s a reason why only ignorant neonates like Nines’ gang admires and likes him. What I just said is not a spoiler for the game, btw, because it never comes up because your character is an ignorant fledgling being manipulated and deceived by literally everyone. Maybe Velvet and Bertram don’t, but Velvet might seem so sweet when she convinces you to be her knight because of Presence and acting, and Bertram is a Nossie and they have major secrets within secrets).

And while it is easy to sink into the world of the game and roleplay, thus mitigating the railroading feeling above. This game was clearly written with an audience of White Male Teens in mind. We have Velvet (of the fashion-conscious Toreador clan) show up at the prince’s court in Elysium in only a lacy basque, g-string and thigh high fishnets, tall heels and not as much as a peignoir thrown on top. Yeah, she attends an important society function in her fetish underwear. Then we have the explicit sex life of game cover-girl Jeanette (yeah, the one dressed like a dilapidated school girl), and those two are THE female mascots of the game.

The less said about the Orientalism and the Kindred of the East the better, but that segues into how around the time you reach Chinatown, the game starts losing its luster and strengths. Okay, so if you’re sensitive to that kinda thing, you might notice it a little bit in Hollywood, but by the time Chinatown rolls around, you might notice how it is less immersive and how it starts to feel more and more gamey (specifically, Action gamey), and you get less options that isn’t some variant of “kill it”.

On top of that the game has technical issues if you do not use the fan-made patch (I always use Patch Plus, which restores cut content and quests, as well as ReShade for better anti-aliasing and sharpness), and it still has a few cropping up from time to time. At least it works perfectly well in ultrawide resolutions?

Still it has that charm, and despite its flaws and how I can think of a dozen complaints at the drop of a dime, I still love playing it. So it’s a 4/5 from me.

[jafreitag]

Grateful Dead Monthly: Oxford Plains Speedway – Oxford, ME 7/2-3/88

On Saturday and Sunday, July 2 and 3, 1988, the Grateful Dead played two shows at the Oxford Plains Speedway in Oxford, Maine.

Oxford Plains opened in 1950 as a half-mile track, but was later shortened to three-eighths. According to the Wiki, it’s the largest sports venue in Maine, seating 14,000. The Speedway has hosted events in the NASCAR Busch Series (sort of the minor league for stock cars), but back in the late ’60s, it hosted three NASCAR Cup Series races – two won by Bobby Allison and one won by Richard “The King” Petty.

Yes. That’s Richard Petty in his trademark powder-blue #43 Plymouth. If you had 1960s motorsports figures on your GDM bingo card, right on!

In June of 1988, the Monsters of Rock tour with Van Hagar, die Schorps, Dokken, Metallica, and Kingdom Come stopped in Oxford.

And if you had Van Hagar and/or Dokken on the bingo card, sweet!

The following month, so did the Good Ol’ Grateful Dead for two nights. Our very own GD Editor (and Lester Bangs wannabe) ECM attended. Here’s his extended and incredibly awesome personal reflection.

Thirty-three years ago Deadheads flocked to Oxford, Maine for two days of peace, love and music. The weather was great, the scene was chill and the Grateful Dead played dream set-lists for what would be their last shows in Maine and yours truly was fortunate enough to have been there. It was one of the very best experiences I ever had seeing the Dead and I often wish I could relive it again. So, gather ‘round the campfire and let’s get started, shall we?

PROLOGUE: Summer’s here and the time is right

I had just graduated from college in June 1988 and after treating myself to a 2-week backpacking trip to Europe I dutifully hopped on tour with the Grateful Dead, because like… isn’t that a rite of passage? The mail order Gods were very kind to me which was no small miracle when you consider the huge influx of new fans on the scene in the wake of Touch-mania due to the commercial success of In the Dark. Another factor that contributed to making tickets tough to score was the fact that the band opted mostly for small, outdoor sheds for this tour instead of the ginormous stadiums they had played the previous two summers. I scored tickets for Pittsburgh (6/26), SPAC (6/28, my 22nd birthday) and both nights of Oxford Plains (7/2-3). The latter was a venue the band had never played and it also happened to be the tour closer which raised the stakes even higher. In addition, there was a rumor that the band might add a “surprise” extra show on July Fourth (alas, that never happened). And, of course let’s not forget about the band’s storied history of playing legendary shows in Maine such as 9/6/80 (Lewiston) and 10/12/84 (Augusta). Needless to say, the Oxford shows were highly anticipated by everybody.

Prior to Oxford, I attended Pittsburgh and SPAC with my brother Dan and a bunch of friends. I could write a separate essay on those incredibly fun adventures alone but I will save that for another day. I attended Oxford with my childhood friend, Brad, whose family had a house in Whitefield, New Hampshire which is a tiny, rural New England town near the White Mountains.  We used that as home base to travel back and forth to the shows which is only about an hour and a half drive. The plan was to stay for the July Fourth holiday after the shows and then return home to New York.

BACKGROUND: Jumping queues and makin’ haste, just ain’t my cup of meat

Before I review the shows, I must first describe the scene/vibe since it was such a big part of the overall experience.  Like most of the surrounding area, Oxford is a small, rural, New England town with a population of about only 4,000 people. It is quiet, serene and wooded. Within that setting is an unexpected attraction – the Oxford Plains Speedway, a car racing track that was established in 1950 and seats 14,000 people. In 1988, the Speedway decided to dabble in rock concerts – something the tiny town was ill-prepared for. Here are just a few obstacles that quickly come to mind:  A single, one-lane road was the only access to the Speedway, very few local hotels and a police force of one(!)

On June 25, 1988, Oxford hosted the Monsters of Rock Festival featuring Van Halen, Scorpions, Dokken, Metallica and Kingdom Come. A torrential downpour combined with rowdy fans left the site trashed.

Now, before we get all judgy about metal-heads, let’s acknowledge that the Grateful Dead scene was not without its own problems. As I mentioned, the commercial success of the album, In The Dark, resulted in an incredible influx of newbies known as “Touch-Heads.” The show at SPAC on June 28th was a disaster as ticketless fans crashed the gates and rushed the ramps that led inside the pavilion. As a result, there were scuffles with security and lots of arrests. It turned out to be the last straw and consequently, the Dead never played SPAC again.

The town of Oxford had good reason to be concerned about the Grateful Dead concerts that lay ahead just one week after the Monsters debacle and the news about the Dead show at SPAC just a few days prior. Fortunately, the band and its fans sent around a plea to leave nothing but footprints. The 90,000+fans that descended upon the tiny town of Oxford not only gladly complied with that request but harmoniously co-existed with the residents. Maine papers reported that it was a most enjoyable weekend for all people especially the towns people.

THE SCENE: Strangers Stopping Strangers

Grateful Dead archivist, David Lemieux, had this to say about Oxford:

“It seemed a little out of the way, which is why it was a good place to end the tour. It was a nice mellow place. I was bummed that they never played there again because everybody I knew who went to the Oxford show, to this day, will say it was one of the most fun Dead shows they ever saw. They were great shows musically, but they were just fun…It was extremely easy-going. It was a West Coast vibe on the East Coast. I heard from so many people who said it felt like an Oregon Dead show. That’s the highest compliment for a concert on the East coast.”

David Lemieux thought so highly of the Oxford shows that he included July 3, 1988 as the show to represent the year of 1988 for 30 Trips Around the Sun, the special 50th anniversary box-set that featured one complete show for each of the thirty years the band performed. Note that the box-set also includes a second Maine concert – the Augusta Civic Center show on October 12, 1984. Supposedly, the Lewiston show on September 6, 1980 would have also been included if a better audio source existed.

My friend, Brad and I arrived in the town of Oxford in the early afternoon on July 2nd. Getting there was slow. There was a lot of traffic congestion because of the one-lane road leading to the Speedway. Many people abandoned their cars and opted to walk. Enterprising locals let Deadheads camp and park on their lawn for a small fee.  As our car inched along we were able to check out the scene. And what a scene it was! The town of Oxford had been transformed into a little Dead village. The vibe was incredible – perhaps resembling a latter day Veneta or Woodstock.  Deadheads were grooving everywhere — swimming in streams, hanging out in fields, playing hacky sack, tossing Frisbees, hiking along the local route through the small town. Everybody was friendly, smiling and having fun together. Strangers stopping strangers just to shake their hand…

The parking lot itself was nothing more than a giant, dusty, plowed dirt field but the scene was outrageously good. The weather was perfect and the Speedway parking lot circus was in full swing – thousands of happy people, tents, cars, hissing nitrous, tie-dyed flags, loose dogs running around, fireworks going off, Hibachis, ice chests and goo-ball hawkers everywhere.

The “Shakedown Street” was enormous – two huge avenues of merchandisers selling everything legal and illegal from bagels to ‘shrooms. Everything was “kind.” Kind beer for $1, kind water for $1, kind cigarettes and kind bud… Kind, kind, kind.

Cops ignored just about everything. To be fair, they were greatly outnumbered. Supposedly, the town’s sole police officer was aided by about 30 officers from the Maine State Police and neighboring communities, but the sheer number of people was overwhelming.  

Fortunately, the Dead had the foresight to set up a field office out in the parking lots. People from the Grateful Dead office were out in the trenches all weekend long handing out garbage bags, keeping their pulse on the rhythm of what was going on and even scolding destructive trouble makers when necessary. This turned out to be crucial in keeping things peaceful, clean and safe for everybody.

SATURDAY JULY 2: Life may be sweeter for this, I don’t know

The scene inside was mellow – a giant field surrounded by a racetrack and bleachers. Delay PA towers placed behind the soundboard made hanging out in the back of the field pleasant – you could dance or lie down on a blanket and hear the concert perfectly. In fact, a lot of tapers set their rigs up directly behind these towers and were able to get very good audience recordings of these concerts.

We went into the show early so that we could see the opening act – Little Feat. They had recently reformed after being inactive due to the death of Lowell George in 1979. Now in 1988, they were opening for the Dead to support the release of their new album, Let it Roll. It was exciting to see them rekindle their magic for fans both old and new. Some clever vendors sold bumper stickers on the lot that said “DEAD FEAT.” The band was in fine form and they turned in a really strong set consisting of everything you would want to hear from their live album, “Waiting for Columbus” mixed in with songs from the new album.

After Little Feat finished their set, Brad and I decided to upgrade our spot. Unfortunately, between the sea of people and the big open space, we got separated. I knew that finding him would be almost impossible and I wanted to get some good real estate for the show so I decided to make my way up towards the front. It was still early and there was plenty of space. I eventually settled in front the soundboard where I knew the sound would be perfect. I mingled with some friendly Heads while we waited for the band to take the stage. They were a bit older than me and took me in when they heard that I got separated.

At one point, we noticed a hippie girl in a long flowing dress gracefully floating through the crowd. She was wide-eyed, smiling and clutching a single red rose. She eventually made her way over to our area. She stopped and stood directly in front of me, staring and smiling. She was in a state of euphoria, radiating beauty and kindness but not saying a word. I stood there paralyzed with awkwardness not knowing what to do except smile back. Ever so gracefully, she held the rose out for me to smell, which I did, and then she was off. It was a beautiful moment that encapsulated the entire weekend at Oxford.

It was still daylight when the band took the stage for the first set. Since I was up so close I could see how relaxed they looked. The beautiful scenery was clearly agreeing with them. I remembered what Phil said at the beginning of the Veneta show – “This is really where we get off the best.” I hoped and prayed that this was one of those times.

The band surprised us by opening with “Iko” which juxtaposed the mellow vibe we were feeling with a celebratory one. I looked around and watched people laughing, dancing, and hugging. This was not a typical high-energy East Cost rocking version. Rather, this was band easing into the first set in the late afternoon on a summer day in Maine with a “feel-good” purpose.

The band continued that easy-going vibe into the next song – Jack Straw. It started out almost too mellow. However, by the second jam we have lift-off as Phil carpet bombs  the Speedway, taking no prisoners.

Next up is a copacetic West L.A. with a slinky groove that acknowledges the “Speedway.”

While the band is tuning for “Memphis Blues,” the audience starts a “Let Phil Sing” chant. This was the norm at most shows following the “Box of Rain” bust out in Hampton in 1986. However, what wasn’t normal was for Phil, who is notoriously reserved on stage (at least in the latter years), to respond to those requests as he did on this occasion.  Cleary in good spirits, Phil has some fun with the audience:

Phil: “Don’t you think the guys in the band are going to get jealous if you yell for me all the time? I want you guys to yell for Mickey, Bill, Jerry and Brent, alright> Next time you see somebody yell ‘We want Phil’ you yell ‘We want Brent’ or ‘We want Mickey’ alright? Thank you.”

That brings Jerry and Bob to the microphone, who add that we should extend our requests to the crew – “We want STEVE! We want KIDD!” – and even to volunteers from the audience(!) This naturally draws lots of laughter and applause. Everybody was having a good time.  

With that that band tears through one of the best renditions of “Memphis Blues.” Bobby’s Pepto-pink Strat lit up the Maine sky. Once again, the crowd begins to chant Phil’s name.

Bobby: “Phil can’t hear you. He’s been stone deaf for eight or ten years now. If you hold still he can read your lips. Brent can’t hear you ‘cause he’s run for it.”

Jerry: “Don’t listen to Weir. He’s been crazy for years.”

“Row Jimmy” is superlative. Although it was played at SPAC just three nights earlier, who could complain when such a great song is repeated? Jerry’s notes blissfully echoing into the cosmos. The audience gently swaying to and fro…not too fast and not too slow…it’s the common way to go. Weir uses his guitar to do his paddling shtick during one of the choruses. Classic Bobby.

The band closes the first set with three of the new songs that were introduced earlier in the tour – “Blow Away”, “Victim of the Crime” and “Foolish Heart.” All were well received. Everyone listening intently.

The setlist for the second set is of what dreams are made. Although nothing the band played could be considered a “best of” performance, everybody who attended would agree that this was a delightful set of nighttime, outdoor music.

The sun begins to set behind the band as they gently ease into the opening notes of “Crazy Fingers” creating a breathtaking visual and aural landscape. “Life may be sweeter for this, I don’t know…” The outro jam was everything you could want in “Crazy Fingers” starting with Phil’s lead lines on the high neck of his bass as Jerry picks away in the background. The instrumental journey builds to the next level as Jerry takes over with a delicate lead that flows into the Middle-Eastern flavored jam.

The “Playin’ > Uncle John’s > Terrapin” sequence that follows is divine. Bobby delivers the verses in Playin’ with oodles of confidence and then the band drops into a luscious spacey jam led by Phil’s bouncy bass lines. This drifts into an anthem-like version of “Uncle John’s Band.” Garcia’s mid-song solo is pure bliss. Smiles abound everywhere. The song oozes with kindness and joy and melts into “Terrapin” – Counting stars by candlelight…and eventually we come to the Drums/Space segment of the show.

Supposedly, all the fans that had travelled without tickets were “miracled” when the doors opened as the band went into “Drums.”

Post-Space, the band finishes in fine form with short, but solid versions of “The Wheel  > Gimme Some Lovin’ > Watchtower.” The audience cheered when the band sang, “so glad you made it” since Oxford was not easy to get to.

Then, we get the Holy Grail – Morning Dew. Jerry goes deep with his vocals – especially the final Anywaaaay…Phil and Jerry trading melodic licks in the quiet part…the song building momentum… and then the kind of triumphant, powerful  ending  that makes your hair stand on end….Magical, Electric, Spiritual.

Instead of ending the show, we are treated to a rocking “Sugar Mags’ as a bonus show closer. Rock Star Bobby strutting around the stage with his long, shaggy hair and getting the crowd all fired up. The “Quinn the Eskimo” encore is basically an audience sing-a-long that leaves a big smile on everybody’s face.

There is a video of Set 2 on YouTube if you are interested.

The post-show parking lot scene picked up where it left off. Fireworks and bonfires burned, lost dogs wandered everywhere, people were passed out in the dirt and thanks to the Dead’s crew, a slew of Deadheads scurried around with garbage bags trying to clean up.

SUNDAY JULY 3: All I know she sang a little while and then flew off

On Day #2 the band turned in two sets of music that were inspired and full of energy but the game ball rightfully goes to Brent Mydland for his outstanding performance. Over the two days at Oxford, he played some of his best songs and was a very conspicuous presence in the 2nd set on this evening.

The band comes out raging with “Hell in a Bucket” complete with the same motorcycle effects that were used on the album, In the Dark.  Bobby thoroughly enjoys this ride and gets off on Healy’s vocal effects. “Sugaree” is competently performed. Brent lights up “Walking Blues” with a fierce B-3 organ solo.

Bobby then steps to the microphone and continues the joke from the day before by saying: “There’s a guy down there saying let Mickey sing. Now he’s obviously never heard that. You can have it if you want it.”

Garcia delivers the first real highlight of the day – a funky and twangy “Jed” which benefits greatly from Brent’s bouncy keyboard work. Garcia growls some of the lyrics.

Queen Jane fills the “Dylan slot” nicely and features heavenly solos by Jerry and Brent.

The set-closing “Bird Song” at sunset is easily the highlight of the show, and perhaps of the entire weekend.  This one gets jazzy and goes way out there into a scary meltdown before building to a huge peak. An added bonus to those who were in attendance was the ultra-light plane that appeared during the jam and circled around overheard. The audience cheered in delight and started pointing up to the sky. The band looked confused as they noticed the audience’s attention being diverted from the stage to the sky. Alas, the distraction probably killed the jam. However, the pilot took a perfectly timed graceful swoop over the stage as Jerry sang the last verse.

Like most people, I was expecting one more song since “Bird Song” rarely was a set closer (at least in 1988), but I’m guessing that the distraction of the plane combined with the potential danger it presented caused the band to err on the side of safety and prematurely end the set after just 6 songs. However, they would make up for that in the second set by playing 6 songs before “Drums ,” which was also pretty unusual. Another unusual aspect of that set was the absence of a Garcia ballad but I am jumping ahead of myself.

In between sets, there was an epic drum circle at the back of the Speedway. Also during the set break Brad and I ran into an old friend from high school, Kevin, who we hadn’t seen in years and we wound up hanging out together for the rest of the evening which was a lot of fun.

As the band took the stage, the audience started a Help/Slip/Frank chant (not played since 9/12/85) but….paradise had to wait until the fall ‘89.

Set two starts off with a highly charged “Touch of Grey” that gets the crowd’s energy going. Immediately afterwards, Bobby strums the chords to “Looks Like Rain” but stops suddenly and instead the band breaks into “Hey Pocky Way.” What a great call! This is an immense version that showcases Brent. The dance party is in full swing.

Bobby eventually gets his way with “Looks Like Rain.” He delivers passionate vocals while Jerry delivers a textbook performance of the noodly musical “raindrops” that was a trademark of this tune in the 80s. The band breaks routine with “Estimated Prophet” by giving us a double dose of Bobby instead of the usual alternating Jerry/Bob sequence of songs. The mid-section jam builds to a nice head and Bobby gives his best screeches before the final jam which is fluid, if not standard.  

“Eyes of the World” is short but sweet. However, the real buzz about this version of “Eyes” is Brent’s piano solo(!) which was fantastic and a very rare treat since that was not a song where he would typically take a solo. He should have done it more often!  Brent really brought his game to Maine. Phil also steps up for the jam. Everyone is pitching in and listening to each other making for some really strong interplay.

Normally, “Eyes” would wash out into to “Drums” but on this evening the band made the unusual decision of tacking on another song. In addition, it was very unusual for the band to play 6 songs before “Drums.” Here, Brent performs his new song, “I Will Take You Home” for just the third time. His vocals and keyboards are delivered tenderly. 

During the “Drums/Space” segment, Mickey ups the ante with The Beam. Just when things can’t possibly get any weirder, Jerry brings us back to earth when he starts picking the notes to “GDTRFB.” Each of the instruments fall into place and soon we are chugging along at an upbeat pace. Brent takes a B-3 organ solo and hands it off to Jerry who builds things to a thrilling peak. Bobby continues the high energy streak with a segue into a raging “I Need a Miracle” complete with audience participation.

The show has an unusual close to it. The double-barreled rocker, ”Dear Mr. Fantasy/Hey Jude” ends with some very funny, over-the-top vocal stuff. Bobby and Brent trade incoherent screams/yelps that may be technically deficient, but the energy is amazingly high.

The “NFA” encore has a cold start with just the vocals before the music kicks in which makes for yet another unique aspect of this show.  Full crowd participation goes on for five minutes long after the band has left the stage and probably the Speedway

Mmm-bop mmm-bop bop bop…

Epilogue: Never had such a good time

Brad and I returned to the White Mountains in New Hampshire to celebrate the July Fourth Holiday with his family. We stopped in Springfield to check out the Basketball Hall of Fame on the way home. A few weeks later I traveled to Boulder, Colorado to visit some more friends in the mountains. We visited Red Rocks even though there was no concert. I wanted to experience the vibe and imagine what it would have been like to see the Grateful Dead perform there.

A month later I was working at a “Big Eight” accounting firm in New York City. It certainly was a reality check but it didn’t stop me from attending 7 of the 9 shows the band played at Madison Square Garden in September. The memories of Oxford and that summer are some of the best in my life. Ah, to be 22 years old again…

Thanks, Ed. That was great!

Transport to 7/2/88 on the Live Music Archive HERE.

Transport to 7/3/88 on the Live Music Archive HERE.

Video Sources:

7.2.88 – Set 2 (voodoonola2)

7.2.88 – Set 2 (Kevin Tobin)

7.3.88 Lot Scene

Finally, if you had bad fan dvd art on the bingo card, you’re welcome.

And if you had “the original” Jerry plane dropping a Phil-bomb on your bingo card, you win. Seriously!

[Ed, we sent GDM bingo cards to all the blog followers, right? Right? Dude, idk. I didn’t, did you?? Omg. This was a thing in a zoom meeting mid-Covid. You don’t remember that. Ok. Cool. I know that 31 Days gets way more likes than LN on the ‘gram, and that’s great, really. But bingo was my idea to juice the audience. And now what. What? We are so busted. Corporate is gonna be pissed. WFH is totally over. I hope the bathroom remodel is done at HQ.]

Bingo plan aside (apparently), I will send something random – could be a snapshot, a stick of gum, a two-dollar bill, or basically anything that fits in an envelope and requires one first class stamp – to the first three people who post something substantive about this show below the line. Get to work, hippies! Free sh!t is the best

NOT kidding. Mail will be sent.

More soon.

JF

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[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

I think having a lot of interest is actually really cool and healthy. I find a lot of hobbies and interest I have are cyclical, they depend on the weather, on my health, on my day to day context.

And one of the things I really love about following you is that you do have so many interests and fandoms. I don’t buy into this whole “1 passion thing” to me the multitude of interests means that u are curious and that you like to learn, both of which are qualities that I think are lovely and I hope you have people around you that help you nourish this.

Anyhow now I’m curious what historical fashion. You do not rant about this enough!! 👀

awww thank you!! I do usually really like it about myself too, but it also gets frustrating when you live in a Society and are expected to pick a single thing to focus on. I’ve always been that person that just kind of took as many subjects as possible in school too, just because I couldn’t choose because I wanted to do them all. (And yes I did overwork myself immensely.)

historical fashion!!! yes!! I’m not super well versed in it yet, definitely still beginner level BUT a couple of specific things I really like/really want to know more about: 

-I’m really interested in the influence of the french revolution on western fashion. this is apparently a well known topic within the circles of historical fashion nerds, but not at all well known outside of it. Basically the french revolution was one of the first times where clothes were used to show what political side you were on, and it defined fashion - especially men’s wear - so much we’re still influenced by it today. also, you know. marie antoinette. massive influence on fashion there too. there’s a whole book on how marie antoinette’s interest in fashion influenced the french revolution. I gave it to a friend for her birthday and still need to get my hands on a copy for myself hkfhdklf

-me and an irl friend were talking about the dress history of our local area. we’re considering doing proper research and maybe writing a book, because it’s near impossible to find information on what people wore day to day, or how it developed, and even more impossible to figure out what kind of structures were worn underneath it all. did people here wear corsets? underskirts? shifts? if so what fabric? we know they wore black to church on sundays, but what was everyday fashion like, what kind of colours and patterns were worn here? we don’t know! by far most of the information on dutch traditional dress is from fishermen’s towns in the north and west of the country, and the rest of the information there is is from the big cities where they wore largely the same as what was on trend in the UK/France/Germany, except usually a few years later (depending also on social status and money). I’ve been digging around online, but my friend and I are talking about how we’re going to move this combined research of ours into offline sources too

-I also really like hanfu. blame the untamed for this one. but I love different asian traditional dress and seeing how it all influenced each other and developed further. like kimono (japan) and hanbok (korea) are very probably descendants from the chinese hanfu, and I suspect??? some other countries still have a lot of influences from other chinese dynasties. thailand is a story all of its own: their royal family purposefully steered the country away from traditional dress and encouraged western dress in a  - succesfull! - attempt at avoiding being colonized. It probably wasn’t the only thing they did, but thailand is legit pretty much the only country in the entire area that never got colonized by a western country and just wow. kudos to them for that one. 

-somewhat related to asia: chintz fabric. I have so many questions about this. it’s 2.30 am and I don’t know if I’m going to make any sense at all or if I have my facts straight BUT basically I know that chintz cotton originated in india. the dutch brought it to the japanese, who loved it. there was a whole market there, with a lot of kimono made from chintz cotton with traditional indian patterns on it. the dutch also brought it back to europe, where it was sold all over. (the british think it was theirs - it wasn’t. it was the dutch who traded in it and sold it to the brits. they did have a preference for a particular style - white background with soft patterns - but we sold it to them. the dutch preferred much bolder colors like bright red backgrounds). now the question is: I ALSO know the dutch were trying to get into a specific cotton market in indonesia too, but failed there because they used a specific kind of printing technique that made the wax layer on top kind of ‘crack’ and the indonesians hated it. on the way back though, they found out that some african cultures LOVED these fabrics, and happily bought it all from us, giving us a whole new unexpected trading market. this fabric is now known as ankara fabric, and has developed into a very recognizable and typical african pattern. what I still don’t know is if ankara fabric, the indonesian fabrics, and indian chintz, are actually related to each other too. (I would also love to tie this into discussions on cultural appropriation but it’s definitely too late at night to get into that now)

-men’s fashion & tailoring. men’s fashion often gets kind of pushed aside as boring and plain, which I get, but there are reasons for that and also it’s more interesting than you’d think. I also just love a good, well-fitting suit, and I love it when people really play with suits and use different fabrics and stuff. (yes I did drool over tang yi’s suits in trapped. beautiful boy in beautiful suits, love it. do NOT talk to me about shaofei’s green suit, that thing is an atrocity and I hate it. I can only assume tang yi gave it to him for the sole purpose of getting to rip it off him later.)

I also just like clothing in general. a lot of clothing - both historical and current - is incredibly sociopolitical and influential, and it always bugs me when people dismiss it as superficial or “I just wear what’s comfortable, I don’t care otherwise”. not to go all devil wears prada but even then you’re probably still wearing a specific style determined for you by other people. like who do you think designs those unfashionable-but-comfortable clothes you buy in discount or camping stores or wherever people go to who don’t care. those clothes also have thought and research put into them, and they also follow trends and new developments. there’s no escaping the Fashion, you might as well lean into it and have fun with it, you know?

I will also very often comment on kpop outfits lmao. I have major beef with stray kids’ stylists, and also lately with some of bts’ stylists. seventeen, however, often does really great. 

anyway I hope some of this made some sense! I’m very tired. I should be in bed. but thanks for letting me rant about clothes for a bit! 

[lovemychinchilla]

Can You Release a Pet Chinchilla Into The Wild?

Chinchillas have precise care requirements that you may struggle to meet. If so, would it be less cruel to free your chinchilla and let it live in the wild?

Can you release a pet chinchilla into the wild? You shouldn't, as it likely won't survive. The temperature and humidity are unlikely to be suitable, and there will be predators and other pets that could attack it. What's less cruel is to give a chinchilla you can't look after to a shelter or an experienced breeder if one is available. You could also try to improve the standard of care you provide by following easy steps like spot cleaning and free feeding, which make your life easier and your chinchilla's life better.

The guide below looks at what happens if you release a chinchilla to the wild: whether your pet could find a suitable diet, would be attacked by predators, and would find somewhere safe to live (the short answer: it would have a bad time). We'll also cover what you should do instead of releasing your chinchilla to the wild, i.e. rehoming it with an experienced breeder or shelter.

Can You Release a Pet Chinchilla Into the Wild?

If you have a pet chinchilla you can't take care of any more, you may think to release it. After all, chinchillas have survived in the wild for thousands of years.

However, if you live in the United States or in Europe, this would be a bad idea. Your chinchilla would be unable to survive and thrive in its new home, and would likely die a quick death. If it doesn't, it would likely suffer for a long time in inhospitable conditions that it's simply not used to. Let's take a look at what would happen to your chinchilla if you released it.

Unsuitable Foods

Wild chinchillas don't have highly selective diets. It's thought that they eat most of the plants in their environment. However, it's not a given that there will be a suitable range for it to choose from where you live.

Chins mostly eat leaves and plant roots. But the nutritional content of each plant is slightly different. Some have high levels of calcium, others don't; some have lots of vitamins, and others have next to none. As such, it's possible/probable that your chinchilla wouldn't get a suitable diet were you to release it into the wild.

This is one of the least of your pet's problems, though. A chinchilla released to the wild wouldn't get a chance to suffer nutritional deficiencies, because something else would kill it first.

Temperature & Humidity

The first issues your pet would encounter are unsuitable temperature and humidity. Chinchillas have adapted to the unusually cold and dry climate of the Andes Mountains. They live high up on hillsides and mountainsides, and shelter in burrows to avoid the worst of the cold.

The ideal temperature for a chinchilla is between 50 and 60 degrees Fahrenheit, or about 10 to 15 degrees Centigrade. They can easily survive below freezing, although, of course, they're most comfortable in a normal temperature range. This is roughly the temperature of the Andes: it's 50F/10C or lower in winter, and hardly ever gets higher than 65F/18C.

It's high temperatures that chinchillas can't handle. They have thick fur to deal with freezing temperatures, so if the weather's hot, they can quickly overheat. What makes things worse is that they're so unused to hot temperatures that they have only one mechanism to deal with overheating (cooling blood down in the ears); they can't pant and can't sweat. This means that your chinchilla will likely overheat in spring, summer or even fall/autumn.

Chins are just as susceptible to humidity. They don't like humidity levels above 50%, because they need to keep their fur dry. If it gets wet, it's difficult to get dry, which can cause matted patches, fungal infection or even hypothermia.

Predators & Other Pets

Chinchillas are prey animals in the wild, and it's likely that your chinchilla would end up as prey (if it didn't succumb to the elements first).

In the wild, chinchillas are eaten by birds of prey, foxes (the culpeo) and more. If you released your chinchilla where you live, similar native animals would attack and eat your pet. Besides them, there are other pets to contend with: cats, and dogs of any size. Even small dogs could kill chinchillas easily, especially those bred to hunt for rats and mice. As your chinchilla could feasibly live for several more years as a happy pet, in the right care, it's the most humane thing to do to ensure that that happens—rather than it being attacked and even killed.

It's Bad For The Environment

Even if your chinchilla does manage to survive, that's not necessarily a good thing. You shouldn't introduce a new species to an area because it upsets the ecosystem. This is one of the key reasons why should you never release pets into the wild.

The problem is that there are already animals that eat the same foods that chinchillas eat. The new competition, in the form of a hypothetical herd of chinchillas, could mean that the other species that feed on the same plants die out. On top of that, animals like birds of prey that feed on things like chinchillas would thrive; there would eventually be too many of them, which would further put pressure on other species.

This is so much the case that some countries and states have made it illegal to release pets into the wild. Hawaii, for example, has made it illegal to import let alone release non-native animals into the wild. That's because Hawaii's ecosystem is as fragile as it is unique; thousands of species have already died there since people arrived, and the state government is trying to stop that happening. In the U.K., the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 has similarly made it illegal to release exotic pets into the wild.

How Do Chinchillas Survive in The Wild?

Given all this, it's a wonder that any chinchilla can survive in the wild. So, how can they thrive in the Andes but not anywhere else?

Some animals are adapted to very general climates: they can survive in heat or cold, sunshine or rain. We are one of the best examples, but so are rats and mice, and dogs and cats. But other animals are highly specialized and can only survive in very specific climatic conditions, like polar bears or penguins (in the cold), or camels (in the heat).

Chinchillas are one such animal. They have developed very thick fur to survive well below freezing. It's so rare that it's hot in the Andes that this isn't a problem. But at the same time, it's very unlikely that it will rain. Chins and their thick fur can therefore only survive in places that are both cold and dry, of which there are few.

What to Do With a Chinchilla You Can't Take Care Of

If you don't think you can look after your pet any more, don't worry. Chinchillas are more difficult to care for than many new owners realize. Rather than beat yourself up, accept the situation and do something about it—it's the least you can do for your pet. Below is a list of ideas, presented in order, that you can work through to find care for your pet.

1) Change How You Care For Your Pet

Some circumstances can't be changed. So, say for example that you're moving to a country where pet chinchillas are illegal; well, you've no choice but to give up your pet. But most owners who struggle with their chinchillas struggle because they don't know what's right and wrong for their pets.

As such, if you take active steps to improve how you care for your chinchilla, you may feel more in control and you may provide better care. Following just these basic guidelines can make your chinchilla thrive:

Feed only hay and hay pellets. Chinchillas don't need snacks. You can feed unlimited amounts of fresh hay, and some owner even feed unlimited pellets to save time.

Keep your chinchilla's cage clean by spot cleaning. This takes only five minutes per day. Switch out soggy fleece lining, sweep up old hay and poop, and wipe down anything that needs to be wiped down.

Take your chinchilla to the vet for a checkup. They won't judge you or think you're a bad owner; they just want to help your pet live a full and happy life. Checkups only cost $30-50, depending on where you go.

Spend time with your pet. Let it run around the room in a pen. This will stop it from getting too stir-crazy, and is the most fun thing about owning a pet.

Don't pick up your chinchilla when it clearly doesn't want to be picked up. It's possible to force the issue to the point where the chinchilla learns not to fight back, but for the time being, just leave your pet be if it doesn't feel secure in your hands.

Provide your pet with dust baths. Your chinchilla can keep its coat clean on its own, without your help, just by rolling around in mineral dust.

If your chinchilla isn't experiencing health issues, it's worth trying to follow these guidelines just for a while. If you are organized in how you care for your chinchilla, owning one becomes much easier and much more reqarding.

2) Take It To a Shelter

Just as there are shelters for dogs and cats, so too are there shelters for chinchillas. Shelters look after pets that nobody else can, and they do all they can to rehome those pets. They are often staffed by volunteers who do their jobs solely because they care about animals and want to provide somewhere safe for neglected pets.

We don't recommend giving your chinchilla to a shelter that accepts any animal. Chins are highly skittish, and don't enjoy being around other pets. Being around big dogs and cats, which are stressed themselves, would be very difficult for your chinchilla to endure. Not only that, but since chinchillas have detailed care requirements that most people don't know about, it's possible that a general shelter would accidentally neglect/mistreat your pet. So, try to find a shelter that specializes in chinchillas or at least rodents.

3) Give It To a Friend

If you have a friend who owns chinchillas then you could ask them to look after your pet for you. This happens very often in the community, as any group you look at will have stories of owners who took in their friends' pets. This is a good idea because:

You can likely trust your friend to take care of your pet well for you

If your circumstances change and you're able to look after your pet again, you can take it in

You can check on your pet periodically to see how it's doing

You can help your friend care for your pet, e.g. by providing them with the chinchilla's food, money for its vet care, and so on

We would recommend giving your pet to a shelter rather than to a friend. Your friend may not be capable of looking after their own pets, plus your pet. This is made more likely as their good intentions, their natural inclination to help, may make them take on your pet even if they know deep down that they can't care for it. But if your chinchilla is in unsuitable conditions in your care, giving it to a friend who can help for the time being is better than nothing.

4) Rehome It Through an Online Group

If you can't find a shelter near you, and you have no chinchilla-owning friends, you still have options. There are many groups online dedicated to chinchillas and their care. While some like our site are informational in nature, others are for talking to other owners: forums like chins-n-hedgies.com, for example, or groups on Facebook and other social media sites.

Through these groups, you can find lists of shelters. While many don't allow posts about rehoming, some do, so you could ask about individuals willing to take chinchillas in as well. Many are known for doing this, since they already have the space, food and expertise, and they like to give back to the community.

If an individual owner offers to take care of your chinchilla, it might not be a good idea to give it to them. There's no guarantee that they're a good owner, unless they're very well known to the group in general. As such, if you can find a breeder or a shelter, we recommend giving to them instead; but if there's nobody else you can find, an individual owner will have to do.

5) Take It To a Vet

If you can't find any alternative, you should take your chinchilla to the vet. The vet may be able to help you care for your chinchilla: they can fix any health problems it has, give you advice on how to house and feed it, or put you in touch with shelters, breeders or others who can care for it if you can't.

And if there really is no other option, you can have your pet chinchilla put to sleep. This may be the most humane way forward, especially if your pet is sick and unhappy all the time. This is something for you to talk about with your vet, as if your chinchilla would otherwise live a happy life, you shouldn't have it put down.

Below, you can find our chinchilla quiz, new posts for further reading, and a signup for our Chinchilla Newsletter!

#chinchillas #chinchillacare