#livestream. 3. i had an anatomy exam that i had to study for and i wasnt feeling creative for this blog

[incorrect-ace]

Not a qoute

[auswriteforyou]

Family Values. (14)

TW: mentions of attempted suicide (for a minor character, not the halsteads or oc), death (of a minor character), angst and guns.

She was petrified, laying face down on rough carpet as one of your classmates waved around a gun like it was a plastic toy filled with water and not high grade, armour piercing bullets. She had just wanted to ask her professor a few more questions before the biggest test of her life tomorrow, the one that would let her start her surgical residency but here she was, staring directly into the eyes of said professor. Except he was dead, bullet to the head and she was absolutely scared out of her mind. The police had been negotiating with him, so at least she knew her brother was standing outside that door waiting for her - and if Jay was there, Will was too.

"I want them to pay for what they did to me! Pay for making me go through all this, only to rip it away right when I should have been a doctor." He was crazy, out of his mind insane. But in a way, she understood him. Perhaps it was stupidity, or the fact that she could now see both her brothers in the background of the livestream Hank Voight had set up with the enraged man. Either way, she was standing up and calling her attention to him as she noted Jay shoving between Erin and Voight to positively ID that it was her being a reckless idiot.

"I know that it sucks," She started, "I know how tough this school is, how horribly difficult the medical track is." The gun that he'd whirled onto her faltered, his eyes softening at the sight of her. She'd been in his anatomy class and he obviously recognized the frazzled girl who'd sat in row 3. "But killing us, the people who have gone through the same things you have, it won't help Taylor."

"You, you know my name?"

"You gave the perfect description of how to do a thoracotomy, it was a simpler way to remember how to do it and I have used that method since." The gun faltered more. "You are very smart, and I'm sorry that no one else sees that. You were so kind to me when I forgot my book that once, and you let me share yours."

"I didn't know you were here, you have psych now usually. I saw your schedule once." He swallowed, sweat pooling around his collarbone. "I don't want to hurt you, you're the one who's always been so nice despite being the best surgeon in there."

"I don't know," She tried to laugh, "you might have me beat."

"They aren't going to let me walk out of here, are they?" He questioned, glancing out the window to see SWAT gearing up.

"They will if you surrender yourself." He smiled sadly, reaching out a hand to touch her cheek where she'd been crying. It took all her might not to flinch. He glanced back at the screen, seeing both her brothers now in frame but still half hidden by Voight's shoulders.

"Those are your brothers; your twin and the older one." He nodded slowly like it meant something to him. How did he know so much about her? She hadn't realized how much she knew about him, how much he knows about her and it almost scared her. She'd been his friend without knowing it, something he obviously cherished. "Tell them I'm sorry, for hurting you like this."

"Wait, what?" She questioned, body reacting before her mind did. He lifted the gun up and she reacted, tackling him to the floor as he pointed the muzzle at his own chin. A shot rang out.

"You're out of your mind! You could have gotten yourself killed." Jay screamed, rounding on her the moment the medics cleared her. Will had already started his own exam like a med student would know better than the paramedics. "You tackled a man with a gun, you engaged in conversation with a man with a gun. What if you had been mean to him just once, instead of being nice?"

"Jay," She rasped, voice sore from sobbing. "Please."

"He would have killed you! You're absolutely insane, I literally cannot express how out of your mind you are. You are not a cop, you are not a negotiator and you certainly aren't equipped to talk to or tackle a man with a gun." He continued to rant, his own voice shrill until Will thankfully stepped in.

"Jay!" He demanded, eyes sharp as he inclined his head at her. "She was just held hostage, talked a man down and kept him from killing himself. I don't think she needs you telling her how insane it was, she knows."

"Oh? Then what exactly do you think she needs then? Hm?" Jay sassed, folding his arms right as Will sat down next to her in the back of the ambo and pulled her into his arms. Without missing a beat, she burst into tears. Jay's tough stance fell, his face softening as he took in the scene for it truly was. A scared kid doing what she had to, to save not only the people in the room with her but herself. He couldn't fault her for that.

His arms went around both his younger siblings, forehead leaned into the top of her head as Will muttered soothing things to her. It took a while, but she finally stopped crying and went silent in their holds.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You are alive and safe, as are the twenty other people that were in there with you, and that's all that matters." Jay sighed, pushing her hair behind her ear as she looked up at him. "Where did you learn to do all that anyway?" He was absolutely dumbfounded when she started to laugh softly, slapping his shoulder. "What?"

"You're an idiot. Asking how I know about protecting, helping, defending people, are you serious?" He wasn't laughing and she went practically stoic as she realized he actually was. "Jay," She breathed, "I learned it all from you."

"What?" He practically wheezed, looking over at Will who was just nodding along like what she'd said was a fact. "What are you - what? From me?"

"You're the best man in the world. You care about people, helping them despite any faults they might have. You taught me, and Will, that there is merit to helping others and keeping them safe. We're both too soft to be cops, why do you think we want to be doctors?" He didn't know what to say, or f he could with how choked up he felt. When his dad checked out, he had just tried to give them the best guidance he could by making his own mistakes but letting them all learn from them.

How was he supposed to know they looked up to him like that?

"I am glad you're safe, and I love you." Is what he finally managed to squeeze out. "Both of you."

"Ew, he's going soft on us." Erin Lindsay teased, breaking into the small family reunion and they all knew what that meant. She had to give her statement. Better with Erin than some random person that would push her too much.

"I'm not soft," Jay scoffed, eyes searching his sister's face for any sign of discomfort before he turned her over to Erin. He would literally block a perimeter around her if he had to. They know what went on inside, they were just doing the routine things now and if it was hurting her, then it was a no go. "I am hardcore."

"Yeah, he's super hardcore for a guy that listens to the Wicked soundtrack on repeat." Oh, she was fine.

"Okay, our pinky swears obviously mean nothing to you." He huffed, allowing Erin to step into their little safety bubble as he took a small step back but kept a sobering hand on his sisters shoulders. "You okay to do this munchkin? It's okay if you're not."

"Sooner I do this, sooner I can get back to studying and you can get me that Chinese food you offered."

"I think the studying can wait a little bi- I did not offer to buy you Chinese food!"

"You did now. Now shut up and let Erin ask me questions, I'm hungry."

--

so this is a little bit darker but i kind of like it. I went with college grade because it didn't make sense any other way to me, hope that is okay with you x

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