#little guy with the massive backpack is rotating in my minds eye

[criticallyslain]

some quick n silly doodles because i am very excited for totk!

[spaceskam]

why don’t we loosen up and dance a bit?

finally! the final day of my 12 (actually 13) days of gifts is here! This is a step up au for @lire-casander and i hope it makes up for the long ass wait :)

warning: implied child abuse, but there’s no details at all

ao3

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“How about, ‘I forgive you?”

Mimi DeLuca stared Michael down with eyes that could kill. He sunk into his chair and bowed his head, preparing for whatever punishment she wanted to throw on him.

“I just… I don’t understand what your thought process was. I mean, that’s your sister’s school you just decided to trash,” Mimi said, laughing hollowly as she threw her arms out. Michael felt a new feeling build inside him. It actually hurt that Mimi was disappointed in him. It was extremely new. He didn’t like it. 

“She’s not my sister,” Michael snapped instead of letting the feeling fester. Mimi scoffed, her hands landing on her hips.

“You have been here for ten months, Michael Guerin. That means she’s your sister and I’m your mother. Maybe not by blood or to you, but under the law and in my mind, you are,” Mimi said. Michael would’ve smiled if he wasn’t being lectured. “Tell me, is there something going on? Do you need more attention? Therapy? Are you being bullied? Pressured? Talk to me, tell me. We can fix whatever it is.”

Michael gulped and suddenly wished it was something like that. The real answer was stupid and pathetic.

“I don’t know,” Michael admitted, “I did it because it was there.”

Mimi sighed and dropped her head in her hands. Michael watched her and held his breath. She didn’t look up for a long time.

“Are you gonna call my social worker?” Michael asked softly. Mimi’s head shot up and almost looked offended.

“No, absolutely not. This is your home, you aren’t going anywhere,” Mimi said firmly, “I’m going to take you to your court date and we are going to hope they let you off easy. Just like I would do for Maria.” Michael’s heart thudded wildly in his chest. It felt like favoritism even if it was really just being equal for once. “And, like Maria, you’re grounded for a month.”

“A month?!” he asked but he was smiling.

“A month. Now go to your room,” she scolded but she was smiling.

“Ugh, this is so not fair!”

“Life isn’t fair!”

Michael went to his own bedroom and laid in his own bed and decided that he would try really hard not to make her disappointed again.

-

Community service. That was his sentence.

“I can’t believe they assigned you to clean up my school. I’m suing,” Maria scoffed. Michael rolled his eyes and leaned in her doorway. She was putting on makeup before school and Michael was waiting to take her. He’d dropped out of school when he was 16 and started working. That was before he’d met Mimi‒now he was homeschooled.

Which gave him enough time to do his community service. Yay.

“Listen, if anyone asks, you’re not my brother,” Maria said. Michael huffed a laugh.

“I’m not your brother.”

Maria paused and then looked at him for a moment. “I mean, but you are though. But at school, you’re not because I don’t want people saying shit about me because we’re related.”

“We’re not related!” 

“Shut up!”

A smile pulled at his lips as Maria flipped him off. He would never admit it to her face, but he loved these moments. He loved the way they just accepted him as apart of the family. He loved the way he could fuck up and they would still keep him. He didn’t, however, enjoy that stupid part of his brain that told him to fuck up. He knew better, but he found it hard to contain himself. It was something he had to work on.

“Can you drive me?” Michael asked as he followed her to the kitchen. She looked over her shoulder and raised her eyebrow. 

"How am I supposed to lie about you being my brother if you're, like, in my car?" Maria asked. He did his best pouting face and made his eyes all big. She still didn't buy it. He groaned. 

"I'll do your chores for the entire length of my community service." 

Maria paused. "Done.”

-

Ark Kingdom School of the Arts looked a lot bigger and a lot fancier during the day. It made Michael feel a lot worse about the fact he’d trashed it.

“It’s huge,” Michael scoffed. Maria looked at him and gave a sarcastic smile.

“Yeah. Now go, run along,” she said.

“Fuck you,” he laughed.

“Ew, pass,” she said before heading off towards one of the four massive buildings. Michael shook his head with a laugh and began making his way towards the front office. There, he would get his lame uniform and begin his fun janitorial duties. For free. 

The jumpsuit they gave him fit poorly and was certainly not his color, but he had no choice. Instead, he spent his day following a lovely old man who didn’t like to talk about anything that didn’t involve explaining to Michael in excruciating detail how he wanted things cleaned. Which, in his defense, this was the cleanest school Michael had ever seen.

He was making his way through each building slowly. Apparently, Monday was deep clean bathrooms day, Tuesday was deep clean the dance building, Wednesday was deep clean the music building, Thursday was deep clean the art building, and Friday was deep clean the theatre building. Or, at least for him it was. They were on rotation with the other janitors to make sure every building and all bathrooms got meticulously cleaned. The joys of private school or something.

On his lunch break, he decided to wander about the dance building and see if he could find Maria. Not that he wanted to talk to her, but he thought he could fuck with her from across the room to pass the time. He peered through the windows of the doors of all the classrooms and, for the most part, dance studios to see if he could see her.

Eventually, he saw her. She was talking to a boy who was stretching his obscenely muscular calves and laughing while he did it. Michael was entranced almost immediately. He had long, shaggy black hair that reached his shoulders and Michael got to watch as he raked it back into a bun at the nape of his neck. He decided right then that he was extremely angry at Maria for never introducing them.

Michael had known he was bisexual from a very young age, long before he had a word for it. He liked boys and he liked girls and he liked everyone in between and otherwise. People were pretty and he was supremely bad at hiding it. It was the main reason he was still being bounced around foster homes at sixteen. But now he found a nice home with a nice family or a family who pretended to be nice because what nice sister would hide such a beautiful man from him? That was just rude.

Well, he would just have to introduce himself.

Michael let himself into the room, strolling across the floor and straight up to Maria. They were both in leotards and tights and both looked all professional and ready to go and they both turned their attention onto him when he walked up.

“Maria, let me use your phone to call Mimi,” he said, not even trying to hide the fact that his phone was visible in his pocket. Maria scoffed and the boy gave him a once over, smirking softly. 

“So this must be the guy who trashed the school and set me back a whole week of training in a proper studio,” the guy said. Michael flashed his most charming smile.

“Michael,” he introduced. The guy looked at him and then let out a laugh.

“Sorry, I don’t affiliate myself with criminals,” he said, walking away. Michael couldn’t find it in himself to be offended and he just whistled at the low blow, watching him walk away. In the middle of admiring the fine dancer’s ass, he received a hard hit to the back of his shoulder. 

“What did I say?!” Maria hissed, her face scrunched up in an admittedly hilarious face. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he laughed, still looking over at the boy who was now bent over completely. It was a very heavenly sight. “I was just trying to figure out why you didn’t introduce me to someone like him.”

“Like him? Like who? Alex?” she asked, disgust taking over her face, “No. Do not look at Alex, stop it.”

“So his name’s Alex?” Michael asked, biting down on his lip. He watched Alex slowly slide into a split and stretch a little more. “Fuck me. Is he into dudes?”

“If he is, I would not tell you! Get back to work!” Maria scolded, shoving him towards the door.

“Give him my number, will you?”

“Go to work!”

Michael did not. He instead spent his lunch break watching the two of them dance. He didn’t really have words for what they were doing, all he knew was that it was impressive. They moved around each other and with each other effortless, bodies in sync. It was clear that they were close and it was hard to figure out why he hadn’t noticed him before. He was stunning and talented and clearly friends with his foster sister. And Michael wanted to know him.

After school ended and Michael was just waiting for Maria to get out of class so they could leave, he ended up actually seeing Alex walking towards his own car. He couldn’t stop himself as he walked up to him. He was just too good to be true physically and Michael was eager to see if that extended to other parts of him as well.

“Hey!” he called, jogging up to him. Alex sighed and gave him a condescending smile that Michael loved. “Hey, I saw you dancing earlier. You are incredible.”

“Yeah, that’s why I go here,” Alex said. Michael licked his lips and smirked.

“You think I might be able to get a private show?” he asked. Alex’s jaw dropped slightly and he scoffed, shaking his head. Michael watched as his grip tightened on his backpack and took a step back. Maybe he was too forward.

“Didn’t you hear me earlier when I said I don’t affiliate with criminals? You literally almost ruined my chances for my competition by putting me out a week of proper practice space because you thought it was fun to destroy the studio,” Alex told him. Michael’s smirk dropped completely. “I don’t know why you think you’re hot shit, but you’re not. There is nothing cool about property damage. The fact that you don’t have to pay for it is bullshit and I really think it’s bullshit that they let you come on campus. And I don’t put up with guys like you who have no respect for anything. Bye-bye, now.”

Alex gave a little wave and then swiftly turned on his toes, walking towards his car. Michael sighed. So much for getting to know a guy that gorgeous. He probably was out of his league anyway. 

“I told you,” Maria said as she came out of nowhere. Michael rolled his eyes. “No, but, really. Alex doesn’t do well with the whole flirting thing. Or relationship thing. He’s got a one-track mind and that’s to be successful enough to get out of this place.”

“This place?” Michael asked.

“Yeah. He wants to go to New York,” Maria answered as they walked towards the car, “Wants to be a professional dancer and get the fuck out of Roswell.”

“That sounds like a very uptight way to live,” Michael admitted. Maria just smiled at him and shook her head.

“Let him be uptight.”

That night, Michael laid in bed and thought about just how Alex had said he was disrespectful. He couldn’t figure out why it was stuck in his mind, but it seemed to be linked with the disappointed look Mimi had given him and the way the judge had stared at him. Was he disrespectful? 

He supposed he didn’t really know. He didn’t see dancing or art or anything as that big of a deal. Sure, Alex was good at it and so was Maria, but was it even worth trying to make a career out of? Was it so serious that Alex would avoid people over it? Did he just not get it?

It bothered him. There was clearly something he wasn’t understanding.

Instead of sleeping that night, Michael spent hours researching different ballerinas. He read about tons and tons of people who had made a career out of their art. He’d read about people who seemed to live, eat, breathe dance. He saw videos of people who destroyed their feet and legs just to do what they loved to do. It seemed almost insulting to call it a talent when it really was just years and years of hard labor. It was serious. Missing a week of practice was serious. Missing anything was serious.

Michael was disrespectful.

-

“Hey! Wait up!”

“Oh my god, do you not know how to take no for an answer?”

Michael forced a sweet smile as Alex turned around. He was in baggy sweatpants today and they somehow looked just as good as the tights from the day before. He was just gorgeous. And, you know, hopefully into guys.

“Yeah, I do take no for an answer,” Michael said as nicely as he could, “And I didn’t like you telling me that I was disrespectful. I spent, like, all night learning everything I could about how hard it is to do what you do and… yeah, I was disrespectful. I’m sorry.”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “Okay? What, do you want a prize for having to do research for what should be common sense?”

“No, I’m just… admitting to my wrongs,” Michael said. Alex eyed him weirdly before nodding and waving curtly. Then he turned and disappeared into the building. Michael felt the desire to go after him again, but decided against it. Not only did he have to continue his community service, but he also knew this guy wasn’t his biggest fan. As hot as he was, he would need to keep his distance.

But they were cleaning the dance building all day.

Michael saw him in the halls and saw him looking some kind of gorgeous. His hair was down and messy and he had on a crop top that shouldn’t have looked as good as it did. Michael did his best not to look at him, not to stare, to let him be, but it was like some outside force kept throwing them in the same place. It was hard not to look.

The next few weeks went by just like that. Michael would see him and nod to him and admire him from afar. He’d watch Alex and Maria dance, slowly but surely memorizing the routine. He was growing a massive appreciation of both of them. They worked so hard. The appreciation seemed to make Alex warm up to him if only a little bit. It gave Michael another person that didn’t mind having him around.

Michael liked having people enjoy his presence.

“You guys should teach me how to do some of that,” Michael said to them as they caught their breath.

“Have you ever even danced before?” Alex asked. Michael smiled as he watched him dry his sweaty face with a towel. There were few things as hot as that man.

“I did, a little. Not like that. My old foster brother was a street dancer and he taught me a thing or two,” Michael mentioned. He’d actually taught Michael a bit more than just dancing, but that happened to be the main reason Michael had been taken out of the house. Sleeping with your foster siblings was a big no-no apparently.

“Okay, well, come over here,” Alex said. Maria rolled her eyes, but she held a hand out to him Michael grinned and walked over. “Alright, let’s try the basics. Put your feet like this.”

Michael stared down at their feet as they put their heels together and their toes pointed in opposite directions. He tried his best to copy them, but his feet weren’t nearly as straight as theirs. They both kicked his feet a little bit to try to make them straighter, but it didn’t really work.

“Okay, well that’s… kinda first position,” Maria laughed.

“Alright, and this is second position,” Alex said, spreading his legs a bit and raising his arms to his side.

“What the fuck is happening with your knees? Isn’t that bad?” Michael asked, listening to them both laugh.

“I mean, maybe, but ballet is all aesthetic,” Maria told him.

“That’s fucked.”

The two of them walked him through the five basic positions of ballet and found that he wasn’t actually half bad at doing them. Sure, they weren’t hard and he still struggled with a bit of footwork, but he wasn’t horrible at it. It was fun, actually.

It was the first time Michael realized he had friends.

-

Maria DeLuca fell in slow motion.

Michael saw it happen, watched as she tripped on the last step of the stairs over his bag and was helpless to actually try to help her. He heard her scream and she grabbed her ankle and she cried.

Fuck.

-

“What do you mean you sprained your ankle? Maria, the competition is in a month. This is important!”

Michael stood off to the side, averting his gaze as the two had a conversation. He felt sort of guilty. A lot guilty. It was his fault that she tripped and sprained her ankle. It was his fault that she was told to be on crutches for three weeks which left them both fucked for a competition that could get them scholarships.

“It’s not my fault, Alex.”

Alex tilted his head back and took a deep breath.

“I know, I know. I’m not trying to blame you, I just… I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Alex groaned.

“I’m sorry. Maybe you could find someone else to rehearse with until I can get back on my feet?” 

“I can do it,” Michael said. They both turned to him.

“What?” Alex scoffed, “You don’t dance.”

“I dance a little. I know your routine. And we can work on it and tailor it a little bit,” Michael continued. He started walking towards them, slowly convincing himself that this was totally a good idea so that maybe Alex would agree.

“You don’t even go to school here, Michael,” Maria sighed.

“So? Doesn’t mean I can’t help,” he said, “Look, it’s my fault that you tripped and I feel horrible. Let me at least try to make it up to you? I promise I’ll give it my all.”

“You have community service still,” Alex said.

“I’ll be finished in two days. Gives me all that extra time to work with you,” Michael said with a smile that was intended to be charming. He didn’t know if it was. He was typically lost on what Alex Manes found charming.

Alex sighed and looked between the two of them, clearly torn. Michael saw the moment Alex realized he didn’t really have much of a choice. He had to at least try.

“Fine.”

Michael smiled big and bright.

-

“I feel like this is a bad idea.”

“You offered, suck it up.”

Michael nodded hesitantly and then took a deep breath for preparation. Alex gave him a small nod and then began to run. Michael braced himself and prepared to catch him after his graceful leap.

And then they both tumbled to the ground.

Michael winced as the wind was knocked out of him in an attempt to save Alex from slamming his face on the floor.

“Dude, you have to actually catch me,” Alex sighed.

“Why can’t you catch me? You catch Maria,” Michael argued. Alex rolled his eyes and pushed himself up to his feet. He held out his hand for Michael.

“Because I’m the one who can jump properly, you can’t,” Alex said, “You also have the muscle to catch me.”

Michael gave a wounded gasp, his hand touching his heart. “Are you calling me fat?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “I’m saying you look like you could carry me without struggling and I’m used to lifting women that barely weigh 100lbs.”

“Valid,” Michael said, grinning which just seemed to irk Alex even more, “Alright, let’s try again.”

It took almost eight tries before Michael actually was able to catch and lift him. Alex wasn’t that impressed.

“Finally, fuck,” Alex scoffed. Michael snorted and shook his head and didn’t say a word about the little smile that appeared on Alex’s face.

They spent hours practicing the simplest things. Or, somewhat simply. Michael picked up the less technical things extremely quick. Body movement came easy, his hips and his arms and his legs moved as he wanted. What he was bad at was looking graceful.

“Why don’t you show me what you can do and so I can gauge what I have to work with,” Alex said, leaning against the wall and waving him on. Michael stood there awkwardly now that he was put on the spot. “Go on.”

Alex put on some trashy trap music and then smiled, seemingly really proud of his lame assumption as to what Michael could dance to. Annoyingly, he wasn’t that wrong. 

It took a moment to stop feeling ridiculously uncomfortable, but he managed to do it. He blocked out the pressure and simply moved. He danced in ways he didn’t have words for. That was the thing, it seemed. Alex had words for every single move he did. Michael didn’t have that. He just moved with the way his body wanted him to. 

“It’s good, really, it’s just not classical.”

“I’m not classically trained,” Michael laughed. Alex rolled his eyes.

“I know, but… Look, your dancing is, like, heavy. Picture that you’re light as a feather or like you’re dancing on a cloud,” Alex tried. Michael looked at him like he’d fucking lost it. 

“A cloud? Your rich kid is showing.”

“No, look,” Alex scoffed, “Look at the difference. You spin like this.” Michael watched the very broad and admittedly heavy way he spun. His arms weren’t all poised, they were bent, and the spin itself was quick. It was all motivated by one swift push which was exactly how Michael had done it. “But it should look more like this.”

Once again, it was easy to become mesmerized by the way Alex moved. It was like he was born to do it with how effortless he made it look. But the fact was it wasn’t effortless. The way he could spin for minutes upon minutes and how all of his choices were refined. They all came with a purpose that Michael’s never did.

“Okay, so, if we’re pointing out nit-picks, I think your style is stiff,” Michael accused after the spell Alex put on him broke. Well, technically, it didn’t break. Alex had simply stopped dancing and so Mciahel’s brain started working a bit better. Now, he just looked extremely offended.

“Excuse me? Stiff? I am not stiff!”

“I mean, you kinda are. Even when you’re making fun of how heavy I move, it’s stiff. I’m loose,” Michael told him, smiling sweetly. Alex scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Says the man wearing jeans rather than the tights I gave him,” Alex shot back.

“It had a thong!”

“It’s called a dance belt!”

Alex put his hands to his forehead and walked in a circle. Michael watched him patiently, letting him think. He liked watching him think. He liked watching him do a lot of things. He even liked the tights‒just as long as they were on Alex and not him.

“Okay, okay,” Alex said, looking at him with a new look on his face. He let his long hair down and then tied it back again. Michael dreamed of a day he left it down all the time. “You learn to get light and wear the tights, and I’ll work on loosening up.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Why do I have to do two things?”

“Because it’s my routine.”

 With a slow nod, Michael surrendered. He already knew he would. Imagine telling someone that looks and acts like that no? 

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

“Wanna see something cool?”

“Is it my ass in those thong tights because I already looked at that.”

“Shut the fuck up and come on.”

Michael grinned as Alex unlocked the car door for him. Two weeks of practicing and slowly but surely they were meeting in the middle. In fact, they’d mashed something together that wasn’t quite hip-hip dancing, but wasn’t quite classical either. It was a mesh of something amazing, something theirs. He loved it.

He climbed into the passenger side of Alex’s car and let him drive out of the school parking lot.

The two of them hadn’t actually spent much time alone outside of the school and especially never without Maria, but the idea of it alone had Michael excited. He’d wanted him from the moment he saw him.

When they stopped at a red light, Alex let down and shook it out. It had a little wave to it from being up all day and he ran his hand through it to loosen it more.  Michael had to take a deep breath at the sight. He had to restrain himself from reaching out and touching.

“I like your hair like that,” Michael said.

“I don’t care what you like,” he said. Michael smiled at him.

The drive didn’t last too long, but it was a part of town Michael had actually never been. Granted, he’d been on a relatively tight leash since he got to Roswell since he had a pretty shitty track record when he came to the DeLuca household. But, even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t have gone to the wooded area that Alex had brought him.

Alex got out first without a word and began heading towards the woods and Michael took a second to admire him. He had changed into a pair of form-fitting sweats and had on a loose crop top that showed a few inches of tan skin on his back. Michael almost died the first time he experienced touching that.

“Where the hell are we going?” Michael asked as he followed Alex into the trees.

“Somewhere cool.”

Alex walked the stone pathway with large strides and a skip in his step, his hair whipping around him in the most intoxicating way Michael had ever seen. It was hard not to stare. The only reason he stopped staring was because of the giant treehouse with a winding fucking staircase they ran up to.

“Holy shit,” Michael scoffed. Alex took the steps three at a time and disappeared inside the door before Michael could even start to climb. He raced just as fast.

Entering the room felt like entering a whole new world. It was very clearly old with the way the tree had begun to grow inside, but it looked like it was very well kempt otherwise. It wasn’t hard to realize that was Alex’s doing as he very comfortably landed on the massive bean bag chair in the middle of the room.

“What is this place?” Michael asked, slowly beginning to walk around the room. The more he walked, the more it felt like Alex. There was a massive empty space to the left of the bean bag bed and the tree limbs that had invaded the windows were groomed to be shelves. One had a cardigan draped over it and the other had a participation trophy with a ballerina on top. Behind the trophy was a certificate announcing that Alex Manes had danced his way to win a countywide competition at age 12.

“I found it when I was 14 and I started hiding out here when things got bad at home,” Alex answered. Michael looked over to him at the brutally honest admission, but Alex had eyes that didn’t give him space to inquire what exactly bad meant for him. “The lady who owns the property found out I was staying here and, instead of kicking me off her property, she made special windows that would fit around the limbs so I wouldn’t have to worry so much about animals at night.”

“That was nice,” Michael said, only now noticing that there were indeed windows. He wondered how she even made those.

“Yeah, she’s awesome. Our deal is that I get her groceries so she doesn’t have to go into town and I can stay here for free.”

“Wait, you live here?” Michael asked, eyes widening accidentally. Alex shrugged, shifting in the bean bag bed. It was hard to picture that someone like Alex could live in a place without running water. He always looked so nice. He went to a rich school for fuck’s sake.

“I couldn’t stay at home.”

“How do you go to AKSA then?” Michael asked, standing in the middle of the floor and staring at the boy in the bean bag. Alex leaned back slowly, his hair pooling around him as he looked up to Michael. It made Michael feel weird for some reason. 

“Scholarship.”

“Why’d you show me this?” Michael said a little softer. He didn’t understand why he was worthy of this information. He’d never been worthy of anything in his life.

“I bet you could use the competition as your audition,” Alex admitted. That caught Michael off guard. 

“Huh?”

And Alex just shrugged and patted the bean bag beside him. 

Michael complied and tried not to think about what he’d just said.

“Am I loose enough?” Alex asked as they settled into the bean bag. Truly, it was big enough that they didn’t have to touch. They could’ve easily been only opposite sides without a problem. Instead, they met in the middle. Michael wanted to kiss him more than he’d ever wanted to kiss anyone in his entire life. 

Typically, a thousand shitty things would flood his mind to make fun of him or flirt with him would come to his mind. He wanted to now. He wanted to make a joke. Instead, he whispered, “Yeah.”

Alex took a deep breath, his dark eyes flickering over Michael’s face. He was so close. So, so, so close. Michael clenched and unclenched his fists a million times as he tried to decide what was and was not okay when it came to Alex Manes. Fuck, he still had no idea if Alex was even into guys. He’d never said he was, but he never said he wasn’t and it sometimes seemed like he might be.

Before he could ask, cold fingertips pressed to his hip. Michael held his breath. He focused completely on the sensation of Alex slowly dragging his fingers over his side and up to his jaw. It wasn’t really anywhere Alex hadn’t touched before when they were dancing, but this was something else entirely and it was making him feel dizzy. Maybe the holding his breath part wasn’t really helping, but still.

“Is this okay?” Alex asked as the pads of his fingers fanned over Michael’s jaw. He finally breathed and it was horribly shaky. Which was bullshit. He’d kissed before‒done a lot more than kiss before‒but this seemed to have him fucked up ten times over.

It had everything to do with the way Alex welcomed him into his space. This was a fragile gift that Michael had to take care of. He was terrified.

“Yes.”

Slowly, Alex leaned in and kissed him. It was slow and shaky and short. When it ended, Alex took a deep breath and opened his eyes to make sure that it was still okay. Michael thought he was floating.

“I’ve never done that before,” Alex whispered. Michael rubbed his arm, holding him close and waiting for permission to kiss him again.

“Done what?”

“Kissed someone. Not for real, only… only in plays,” Alex admitted, gulping. His hand was still on Michael’s cheek and he seemed frozen just a few centimeters away from his lips. Typically that admission would scare the shit out of Michael and he would find an excuse to leave, but this time he couldn’t find the fear. Or not the fear of that. He was only scared that he’d ruin it.

“Do you wanna stop?” Michael wondered. He really hoped he wouldn’t want to, but he would if he wasn’t ready.

Alex didn’t give a verbal answer, only moving in and kissing him senseless. 

Michael stayed until well past dark.

-

“I hate dropping you off,” Alex all but whined as they decided to wrap up their rehearsal for the day, “I just wanna take you home with me.”

“You could always stay,” Michael said, fiddling with the ends of his hair that he’d been wearing down a lot more now, “They wouldn’t suspect a thing.” 

“Tempting, but no,” he hummed. Michael smiled and shook his head, leaning in for an all too chaste kiss. They had so many of those and Michael was overwhelmed with them sometimes. It seemed every other person he kissed was all with the intention to get them in bed within the next hour. With Alex, he still was scared to break it.

Two weeks. Two weeks of both dancing and making out with Alex Manes. It was the best two weeks of his entire life. They hadn’t told anyone for selfish reasons only, enjoying the ability to dance and dance and dance and then have it turn into something more without anyone suspecting anything.

It helped even more that they’d showed their dance to the Dean. If all went well, Michael would be starting the next semester as a new dance student of AKSA. He didn’t know he even wanted that until he was told he might be allowed to have it. Now all he could think about was what else Alex could make him realize he was allowed to have.

“You need better deodorant, your sweat smells like you took a shower in must,” Alex murmured against his lips. Michael scoffed.

“You’re such an ass.”

“I am not, I’m helping.”

“Helping? Helping?”

Alex’s laughter rang through the room as Michael’s fingers dug into his side, slowly bringing them both the floor as he tickled him. He didn’t stop until he was firmly on top of him and had replaced the tickling with kisses on his neck. Maybe Michael’s sweat was horrific, but Alex’s wasn’t. It was something borderline addictive. It was all too easy to drag his tongue over Alex’s damp collarbone and up his glistening throat.

“You’re disgusting,” Alex said, but it held a lot less venom than his insults usually did. The way he tightened his arms around Michael’s shoulders didn’t go unnoticed. “We-we should probably not do this here.”

“Seriously, sneak in tonight,” Michael whispered, “The showcase is soon and we won’t get to mess around as much.”

Alex shoved gently at his shoulders, though, and Michael took that as his cue to sit up. He stared up at him with those big dark eyes again.

“I can’t,” Alex said, shaking his head and sitting up, “I… I have to…”

“If you don’t want to spend the night with me, that’s fine. I won’t be angry,” Michael promised. It hurt a little bit, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that was all on him.

“Okay, then I don’t want to spend the night with you. Not yet, at least,” Alex said and then his shoulders squared and that hardened look in his eye returned. It was the first time Michael noticed the transformation. He admired it. “I have a lot more important shit to focus on than whatever goes on in your mind and you know that.”

“I do.”

“Good. Don’t be late to practice tomorrow or you’re walking home,” Alex said as he stood to his feet. Michael smiled at him. He was perfect.

“Yes, sir.”

-

“I’m so excited!”

“Me too.”

Michael hovered in the doorway as he watched Maria and Alex talk after class. She was springing with joy that she was all better and could come back and get back to dancing. That morning, Michael had been happy for her. Now, watching her take Alex back made him realize that he’d jumped to quickly to celebrate.

Alex glanced over at him with that same blank look that Michael couldn’t read. Usually, he loved it. Right now, it was like being shot in the foot with his own gun.

“Alex,” Michael said as he made his way over to them. Maria looked over him like she had just put it together in that moment as well. Her getting her partner back meant fucking over Michael. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Alex nodded and they stepped off to the side.

“So, what, you’re just going to go back to dancing with her?” Michael asked softly. Alex nodded again and lifted his arms to pull his hair back into the low bun. “But what about me trying to audition? Our routine was what was going to get me my in.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just bail on her. She’s worked her ass off, she deserves to show off to the people that are coming,” Alex told him. Michael furrowed his eyebrows. He knew that. He knew that better than anyone, he lived with her. But still. Maria had a lot of things. This was Michael’s one thing. 

“Okay, but this was‒”

“I’m sorry,” Alex said again, “Maybe you can find another partner.”

“It sort of feels like your breaking up with me,” Michael said and when Alex didn’t respond, he scoffed, “Dude, what the fuck? You’re just going to cut ties with me because I can’t be a fancy dancer?”

“No, we’re just very different and I’ve realized that my career is more important than some guy,” Alex said simply. It was cold and hardened and Michael knew it was the mask. “My routine with Maria is what I’ve been working on for months before I spent a little time working with you. That’s what will help my career.”

“Okay, Alex,” Michael scoffed, shaking his head, “Okay. I thought we established you could be honest to my face and I won’t get mad.”

Alex stared at him for a moment. Michael waited for the painful truth.

“It’s easier if I don’t get attached to you,” Alex admitted softly. It was a lot less painful than Michael was expecting. 

“You say that like I’m not already attached to you,” Michael told him. Again, he stared. “Look, Alex, why can’t we‒”

“It’s a bad idea. This was a bad idea in the first place.”

“I thought you were loosening up.”

“Maybe I loosened too much.”

Michael nodded slowly and tried not to take it to heart. If this is what Alex wanted, then who was he to argue otherwise?

“Oka, whatever. I’ll see you around,” Michael said, huffing a laugh, “Actually, no. I won’t.”

He left the room and tried not to be too pissed. How silly of him to think he could have nice things.

-

“Mopey, mopey, mopey Mikey.”

Michael groaned into his pillow at the sound of Mimi’s voice. He knew he had been moping for the last week, but he couldn’t help it. He got a taste of something real, something better, and it was just snatched away from him because he wasn’t good enough. Again. 

“I’m not leaving until we talk,” Mimi insisted, her voice getting closer. His bed shifted as she sat beside him. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing,” Michael grumbled. 

“Yeah, okay, I don’t believe that,” Mimi said, “Can I hold your hand?” Michael grunted in response, but he would be lying if he said the motherly way she squeezed his hand didn’t make him feel better. “What’s wrong?”

After a minute of silence, Michael finally answered, “I had a chance to audition for Ark Kingdom and… now I can’t.”

Mimi tensed up and her heels tapped quietly on the floor, but she pushed away her excitement for him. Moments like that made him feel like the most loved man in the world. He shifted a little bit to look up at her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I was dancing with Alex and, when Maria got better, he sort of just dropped me for her. And I know it’s stupid because it’s her school and it’s her dance, but I just… I don’t know, I liked feeling like I had potential for once,” he admitted. Mimi gave him a sad little smile and squeezed his hand tighter.

“You still have potential even without the school. You are so smart and apparently talented, not that you’ve ever shown me any dance moves,” she teased. He gave a small smile, but it didn’t last long. He was angry about the school and he was angry about losing a chance at something more, but he couldn’t help but feel sad about not being with Alex. He liked kissing him and he liked dancing with him and he liked being allowed in his safe place. He felt welcome.  Turns out he’d spent so much time scared he might fuck things up with Alex that he never even considered the fact that Alex might’ve done the fucking. “Oh wait, I know that look. Are you upset about the school or about the boy?”

Michael scrunched up his nose. “Both?”

Mimi rolled her eyes. “You know you can get one of those things back, don’t you?”

“I don’t think I can. He seemed pretty set on career first, fuck anyone else,” Michael explained. Mimi squeezed his hand again.

“How about this, come to their performance tonight. We can bring flowers for the both of them and maybe it’ll give you an excuse to talk to him,” she suggested. Michael groaned again. He really didn’t want to go. As much as he loved watching Alex dance, it just felt like torture to watch him. He wasn’t wanted anymore. “Come on.”

“That feels like torture.”

“Well, you’ve been in bed all week. You need to get up anyway, might as well try to win your boy back,” Mimi said. Michael still frowned. “Let’s go.”

“And if he rejects me?”

“Then he’s not worth it.”

Michael very reluctantly agreed, but only because he had no idea how to tell her that he was worth everything.

-

“He’s been just as miserable as you, you know?”

Michael ignored Maria as they drove. She had to be at the venue early, so they were leaving early and they would simply wait until showtime. Mimi and Maria sat up from and Michael sat in the back beside two bouquets of flowers.

“He misses you,” Maria continued. Michael stared out the window. Alex hadn’t once tried to talk to him, so it didn’t seem like she was telling the truth. If he missed him so much, where was he?

“Michael, I think you should go talk to him,” Mimi chimed in.

“I’ll figure it out when we get there. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,” Michael grumbled. He didn’t have to look to know that both women rolled their eyes at him.

The idea of trying to make nice with Alex felt like a stupid, pointless thing to do. Alex was pretty dead set on wanting to focus on his career and not have to worry about boys. It was a valid thing, too. Michael couldn’t even fault him. Sure, it fucked him over, but that was just the name of the game.

Alex was gifted and a hard worker. Michael shouldn’t expect anything on par with that when he hadn’t even started striving for anything until he met Alex. 

Michael got out of the car after Maria and could feel her eyes on him. They had been on him for the last week. He knew she felt bad, but he also knew she had no reason to be. She had been dancing with Alex since the beginning of the school year. Michael just swooped in and stole him, so she had every right to take him back. Still, she seemed to be guilty.

“Michael,” she said, pulling him off the side as Mimi went to walk into the lobby, “I think you should go dance with him.” Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

“I think you should go dance with Alex and try to get in,” she insisted, sincerity on her face. He shook his head.

“No, are you crazy? You’ve worked so hard for this, I’m not taking it from you,” he told her. She shrugged.

“My ankle is still sore, it’s not as good as it could be, I’ll just be holding him back,” Maria said, but he wasn’t sure how much truth that held.

“But your routine will help his career, that’s what they want to see.”

“Our routine is just that. A routine. What you guys came up with will get you both further,” she insisted. Michael simply stared at her and tried to find another way to say no. Not only was this not fair to her, but Alex also didn’t want to dance with him. He didn’t want to ruin both of their shots. “Listen, I’ll dance at the end of the year showcase, I’ll be fine. This is important for both of you.”

“Alex doesn’t want to dance with me,” Michael tried. Maria scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, he really does. Just go make him see that you’re serious about it,” she said, shoving his shoulder, “Break a leg. It’ll be great.”

“Why are you doing this for me?” Michael asked softly. Maria simply smiled.

“You’re my brother. I want what’s best for you.”

Michael’s throat tightened and grabbed her in a tight hug. Maybe he could have nice things.

-

“Alex! Alex, hey, wait!”

Alex looked more annoyed than ever as he turned around and Michael almost forgot what he was going to say. He was in a pair of black tights, a black form-fitting jacket-like shirt, and a pair of black ballet shoes. His hair was slicked back into a low bun like it always was, but his make-up was done up all nice and glittery. He looked like a vision.

“What do you want?” Alex asked with a sigh.

“I want to dance with you,” Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “Please let me.”

“But Maria‒”

“She already said it was okay,” Michael insisted. Standing in front of Alex again and knowing that he had a chance had him nearly bouncing with desperation. He wanted to dance with him again. He wanted to touch him again. He wanted to feel important again. “Look, when we first met, you said I was disrespectful. And then I apologized, but I don’t think I knew just how disrespectful I really was until I started dancing with you. You showed me how much hard work went into it and how good it felt to succeed. You showed me that I could be something more, that I could, like, have respect and that it would mean something. I want it to mean something again.”

Alex shook his head, huffing a laugh. “Everyone here worked their ass off. You got lucky. Why should you get rewarded?” Michael smiled at him.

“Yeah, I did get lucky. I met you,” Michael said. Alex closed his eyes. “And I’m not saying anything has to go back to how it was or anything, I just want a chance to prove myself. I want to be someone better. I know you don’t want to get attached to me and I respect that, but please. Let me dance with you.”

“One condition,” Alex said softly. Michael smiled.

“Anything.”

“Go get your tights and your make-up on.”

Michael rolled his eyes, but agreed with a small, “Absolutely.”

By the time it got to their turn to perform, Michael was dressed up similarly to Alex. Black tights, black shirt, black ballet shoes, and his makeup was done just the same. As nervous as he was, he was all but bouncing to get on stage and do all the things he spent practicing with Alex. He wanted to impress everyone. He wanted to show them he wasn’t just a criminal.

They stood in the left wing and Alex grabbed his hand. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of it and all the nerves bled from his system.

“Don’t fuck this up,” Alex said in a low voice. Michael smiled and they made their way on stage.

Just like the first time, moving with Alex was natural. It didn’t feel like they’d missed a week of practice. It felt like this was what they were made to do. This was it. This was life.

Even if they had fucked up, Michael knew that Alex was intoxicating as he spun with his glittery face under the lights. He almost got lost in it, but not so lost that he didn’t catch him. They leaped, they spun, they became entwined. It was hard to deny anything.

The piece ended with them both on the floor, poised and posed and facing one another with heavy breaths. People cheered for them, but the only thing Michael could see was Alex. The lights faded and Michael helped him to his feet, exiting the stage before pulling him into a hug.

Surprisingly, Alex hugged back.

“I’m already attached,” Alex whispered to him. Michael hugged him tighter.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Oh my god! That was amazing!” Mimi squealed once they exited the green room. She and Maria were already waiting for them and, while Michael entirely expected that, Alex didn’t and he clung to Michael’s shoulder for a moment. 

“Thanks,” they both said.

“I knew I made the right choice,” Maria said, grinning very proudly at herself.

“You’re going to take credit for how well we did, aren’t you?” Michael asked.

“Absolutely.”

“I’m so proud of you!” Mimi said, stealing back the attention to shower them in more praise. She hugged them both tightly and it occurred to Michael that Alex probably wasn’t used to this level of love either. He gave him an encouraging smile. “I had no idea you could dance like that!”

“I learned from the best,” Michael grinned.

“We taught him so well,” Maria told her.

“Oh, shut up.”

“We need to go out to dinner to celebrate! Alex, can you come too, sweetie?” Mimi asked. Alex blinked and looked to Michael before nodding. “Awesome! Oh, this is‒”

“Mr. Guerin, may I have a word with you?” Everyone turned towards the voice to see the Dean standing there. With a squeeze to Alex’s hand, Michael nodded and stepped over to her.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I don’t want to keep you from your family,” she said, glancing over to the DeLucas. Family. He smiled. “But you have an appointment in my office Monday morning at 6 AM. Don’t be late and bring your transcripts.”

“Wait, so I got in?” he asked. She smiled.

“You really proved yourself up there. That took hard work.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” he gushed. She nodded and patted his shoulder before letting him go back to Maria, Mimi, and Alex.

“So?” Alex asked first, giving him one of the most genuine smiles Michael had ever seen him give in front of other people.

“I got in.”

In an instant, Alex was kissing him and then his family was hugging him and he was loved. He was lucky and he was loved.

He was going to be someone.