#literally wagging my stupid little tail rn

[prettyboy-finn]

Who's a good boy, you are~ You deserve kisses and tummy rubs and "accidental" rubs of your little t dick as I run my hand down your tummy~

ooh pretty please!! i love getting tummy rubs!

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adamsapple oneshot for @rius-cave, @sugarry-sins and @aesusen

Im huge fans of you you guys btw. And I hope @aesusen would possibly use my hazbin hotel heaven oc

Also slight nsfw stuff (which i hate) , and tuns of swears

Adam pov:

I couldn't believe this, I mean I literally couldn't. First I was the first man on earth, then I was the first human soul to enter heaven, then head exorcist, now I'm a stupid demon on a fucking leash, and owned by the one who fucked my wife's. All because I needed a place to stay, and it was so I can apologize for all the damage I did to the old hotel.

And I knew he was enjoying this, always teasing by saying stuff like "if you be a good boy for daddy, I'll give you a reward~" and "who's my little bitch~" and let's not forget "Look how far you've fallen~". All of those things he said made me turn into a tomato. I hated his constant flirting but I signed my soul to him. So I had to just deal with it

Today I heard lucifer calling my name somewhere after breakfast, and since he owned my soul, I had to. I went to the main entrance of the hotel, seeing lucifer waiting for me with what seemed to be a bunch of papers next to him. I was confused on why there were so many. I hope I wasn't going to hold all of them at once. I looked at lucifer who was turning around to notice I was there.

"Ah you made it! Your such a good boy for daddy~" lucifer said makeing me flush out of embarrassment. "Today will be a simple task, as you notice I have a fuck ton of papers" lucifer said in a energized tone. He looked kinda cu- WHAT! DID I JUST FUCKING THINK THAT?! I I HATED THAT WIFE STEALING MOTHER FUCKER. WHY WOULD I NEARLY THINK HE WAS CUTE?!

I snapped back into consciousness after lucifer waved his hand in my face. "Hey you back" lucifer asked me as my face blushed, I nodded as I looked back at him. "So anyways these papers happen to be fliers for the hotel. If you can put up at least half of them..." lucifer said as they looked at me to finish the sentence "I'll give you a reward~" lucifer finished his sentence as he grabed my chin so i could look at him better, making me blush slightly. "Fine" I groaned out as I picked up half of the papers like luci said.

"But why half" I asked "because I want to make sure that my little pet is safe~" he said Making my face turn red as he chuckled "I just thought after all the really hard work you'd deserve a little less" luci explained the real reason.

28 minutes later

I was walking around hell putting up the fliers to advertise the hotel. While I was doing that, I couldn't help but think about earlier. I didn't know why I nearly thought lucifer was... cute. Just thinking about it makes my tail wag a little. All I could think about was his red cheeks, his toothy smile, his red eyes. I didn't get why I'd think fhat of him after stealing my wife's.

Eventually I reached the p@rn studio. I always got uncomfortable every time I was there. I overherd that angel dust talking about Valentino, and how he described him made me not wanting to meet the guy. I went to the alley, knowing well that sinners go there all the time, to do whatever they do. Placed the last flier on the wall. All the sudden I felt a hand Placed on my shoulder, I turned around to see it was Valentino himself.

"My my, if it isn't adam, the first dick ever" Valentino said Making me uncomfortable. "Yep that's me, look man I got to go" I tried to walk away but Valentino stopped me. "Whats the matter? We have some time~" Valentino said on a flirty tone, Placing his hand on my chin. I was nervous on what he was gonna do to me

Lucifer pov:

I was in the main entrance waiting for Adam to return. "He should of come back by now" i said to myself. "Well your highness, you own his soul, couldn't you just sense where he is" I herd husk say cleaning the bar. "That's a great Idea" I said as I started channeling my energy to Is conjure up a mirror type thing to look at where adam was. When I found him (spiritual) I saw Valentino trying to seduce Adam, as Adam looked uncomfortable with it.

I felt angered. Ever since Adam got into hell I started to develop feelings for the guy, and he's about to get r@ped by Valentino, the one who licked my daughter's arm. I dashed out of the door forgetting to close the mirror to show where Adam was. I was too focused to save Adam. I've grown to attached to him to much to let him get hurt.

Adam pov:

I was backing up away from Valentino feeling the most uncomfortable I've ever been ever. I eventually backed into the end of the alley, there was no way out of this. Valentino pinned me to the wall as he lifted my chin as he grind, "a fallen angel huh~? That could be anyone's kink~" Valentino said as in a flirty tone. "YEAH WELL MY KINK IS SMASHING BUGS YOU HORNY BUG" I herd someone yell before he hit Valentino with a shovel.

Valentino got knocked out and fell to the ground to show lucifer, dropping the shovel on the ground. It was kinda ho- DAMIT I DID IT AGAIN?! WHAT IS FUCKING WITH ME TODAY. Lucifer ran up to hug me, making me shocked and made me blush a bit as I returned the embrace. "Thank God your ok" lucifer said as he placed his hand on my cheek, making me blush. We stared at eachother for a bit, looking into eachothers eye's for I don't know how long.

Lucifer eventually closed the gap between us, clashing are lips together as we kiss. It felt like an eternity to be honest, the kiss was nice, I never expected to enjoy a kiss from lucifer out of all people but I did. After a few more minutes we broke the kiss as we looked at eachother. My eyes widened as I touched my lip "holy shit luci, that was-" " I know, it was kinda... nice" luci cutting me off as he cherished my cheek, making me blush at my comment of are kiss being nice

"I- I think I love you luci" I said, all flustered of are situation. Lucifer chuckles at my comment "I love you too, now come on, let's get back to the others" lucifer said as he walked me back to the hotel.

EPILOGUE

Lucifer poc:

I was on the couch cuddling Adam as I slowly started to fall asleep. I opened my eyes to see a dark empty void, I knew what was going on, and any moment now SHES gonna appear. "Well, well, seems like someone's got a new boyfriend" I herd a feminine demonic voice echoing in the black void

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ROO" I yelled out, trying to get answers. Red eyes formed all around me as a figure started to form from the distance. "Oh you know what I want" roo said as her spider like limbs made of what appeared to be wood on her back move closer to me. "I'm not giving you my soul. You might own Liliths, but you can't get me" I said as I turned away from roo.

"OK, but make sure your little boyfriend is safe, never know what could happen" roo said as she opens the palm of her real hand to show a flame with a silhouette of adam in the middle, as her black hair with a fade of red glowed showing her eyes being lifeless, her mouth being shut with a smile even as they talk, her outfit of rags having holes in them, her legs representing of of a goat like animal.

"Don't... you... DARE HURT HIM" I yelled out in anger, "who says I'm planning to. But... even if am, what are you gonna do about it" she said with a demonic echo in her voice as her arms became somewhat of some sort of stone monster, with her hands becoming the color of blood. "You know I'm the root of all evil, the reason hell exists, the one who grows more and more powerful with each death in hell has. So even if you tried to protect him..." she opens her other hand with another flame, one with the silhouette of Charlie "you still have a daughter ot protect" she claws me. Making me wake up from that nightmare

"You ok luci" Adam asked out of general concern for me. I looked at him both happy that he's safe but also concerned of what could happen to him. "Yeah I'm fine, just a nightmare" I said sounding rather calm of what just happened. "Don't worry I'm here to protect you" Adam said sounding confident. "Thanks my apple" I said as I snuggle up to him "but I need to protect you" I thought to myself as I look back at him

Roo pov:

"Soon luci, soon you'll be under my control" I walk around the giant hell tree representing the tree of knowledge with a force field in an opening letting me see hell. I walk to my toy chest, pulling out three puppets, one of Eve, one of Lilith, and the final one of alastor "I mean it hasn't been hard to make these three my play things and with one being a guy inside at all times" I laugh maniacally as I grow bigger and stronger, showing a new soul has died permanently. "Isn't that right..... eve" I say as I turn around at eve. Who was chained to the ground cause of me

"Yes mamm" eve said in q scared tone

This seems like a plot of a episode tbh. And I hope my three heros read this. Also I am proud of this!

[cartoonrival]

3 15 16 22 smirks

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

ok if im being honest im STILL thinking about ytp/exploding hotdogs inthe micrwave-amy. NO SHE WOULD FUCKING NOTTTTT you guys just think that any girl liking traditionally feminine things automatically = no personality so the only way you can wrap your head around "fixing her" is making her less "girly". im still going to war over what ppl are doing to amy. literally no one on the planet understands amy like i do and shes not even one of my faves. i dont even enjoy understanding her like she's my own daughter i do it like its an obligation like im legally required. i also recently learned that "does naruto having blonde hair and blue eyes mean he's white-coded" is legitimate discourse and i fr think you all need serious help

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

ok this is my biggest hater opinion and i KNOWWWW its like unnecessarily pissy so i havent said antyhing abt it until now but i think you might understand me. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE GIVE SHADOW SOME LITTLE THING TO TAKE CARE OF. I DONT LIKE HIS CHAO AND I DONT LIKE [expunged for my and others' safety] AND I DONT LIKE WHEN PEOPLE JUST GIVE HIM CATS. HE CANT TAKE CARE OF LITTLE CREATURES HE DOESNT CARE TO DO THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO HE JUST DOES NOT HAVE THE CARETAKERS SOUL LIKE HES NOT DOING THAT. HES NOT DOING THAT. BUT PPL DRAW IT ALLLLL THE TIMEE.......... IS THERE NO OTHER WAY WE CAN SHOW HIS SOFT SIDE THEN GIVING HIM SOME LITTLE CREATURE. HES NOT DOING THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!! its so stupid bc its not even like ooc NECESSARILY i mean his chao exists in at least some canons and theres nothing really saying it COULDNT happen and its such a harmless thing to be a hater about BUT I HATE ITTTTTT also when ppl make the hedgehogs wag their tails BE SO SERIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

literally every ship with amy. i think you guys just are desperate to ship her w someone. AROACE AMY SWEEP. ASK ME ABOUT MY AROACE AMY AGENDA!!! also i know youve talked about this 1 million times but i cannot fucking stand how the greater fandom talks about scourge bc none of them even KNOW HIM AT ALL and miss literally EVERYTHING that makes his character interesting and fun bc you didnt even READ ARCHIE you just decided to take this one dude out and sand him of everything of note so you can make him a sad little meow meow ToT SONIC HAS PLENTY OF SAD LITTLE MEOW MEOWS CANT A GUY JTSU SUCK??? CANT HE JUST BE A TERRIBLE LOSER? COME ONNNNNNN but ofc you wouldnt understand bc you didnt even READ ARCHIEEEEEE.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

JULIE SU. JULIE SU. JULIE SU ALWAYS. theres literally so much that could be said and expanded upon w her family and background and not even in the way that canon didnt give her anything at all and you gotta diy everything, shes SUCH A FUN CHARACTER shes so funny and such a jerk and everyone writes her off as "girl knuckles" so fast that they wont even LOOK at how much unique personality she has and how UNIQUE her relationship w knuckles is LIKE.... ken penders actually gave js a fun and unique and dope personality, the FANS are the ones writing her off as girl knuckles. ummmmm its not looking good for you people! and theres the assumption ig that all the romances in archie just suck bc theres sort of a lot of them, obviously i dont like every one COUGHken and sallyCOUGH but like ToT KNUXSU IS SO SO SO GOOD.... THE WAY THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER IS SO GOOD like you guys wipe every characters personality to put them in a ship, then talk about knuxsu as if thats the issue with it and why you dont like it, but. ITS NOT EVEN LIKE THAT. AND IF IT WAS SHOULDNT YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF SLOPim sounding like lorillee rn. QPR KNUXSU AGENDA WILL NEVER DIE

and in the same vein as js, lien da also. ppl just in passing say that either shes hot or shes ugly and no one talks about that creepy as fuck issue where eggman surgically put her back together. that issue was so fucking dope. shes so awesome. i love you lien da you are terrible and i love you.

obviously literally just all of archie. nobody talks about archie. i fucking love archie but everyones too scared. i wish i could make that au