#literally this is why i don’t talk to anyone anymore bc texting someone first is so fucking embarrassing and i can’t go through that anymore

[rubytuby]

surprise

patrick zweig x fem!reader 

word count: 3.3k (LOL)

warnings: established relationship with patrick because i'm lazy, art is your best friend, mentions of getting drunk but it's college so like to be expected… also allusions to sex haha but um i just love to write a cutesy plot.

note: i am normal about patrick zweig, i feel so normal about him #needthat. jokes, but i am in love with him its so bad, i wish he was real. also please don't be offended by my tashi erasure, still love her, but she didn't exactly fit in here. obv this is not canon bc you're dating patrick in stanford era instead of tashi, anyways, hope you enjoy <3.

FEBRUARY 23 2007, STANFORD

The sun hung low, casting long shadows over the tennis courts as you and Art wrapped up your practice session. Both of you were drenched in sweat, Art slung his tennis bag over his shoulder and jogged over, his face lighting up with a mischievous grin.

“So uh, want to walk back to the dorms together?” he asked, sounding overly eager.

You squinted at him, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand. “Sure, but I need to shower first. You know, make it seem like I haven’t been pushed to my physical limits,” you said, gesturing to your sweaty attire.

Art laughed. “You have a single, why don't you just wait until you get back to your dorm?”

You groaned, shoving your racket into your bag. “That's the problem. The maintenance guy showed up at 7:30 this morning to tell us they’re shutting off the water from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. only on my floor for some urgent plumbing issue.”

“Damn, that sucks. Are they even allowed to do that without giving anyone notice?”

“That's what I asked, but apparently, giving us 30 minutes notice is considered adequate. So, technically, they can,” you replied, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “I’ll be quick, though. Just need to rinse off. If you don’t wanna wait for me to chill, you can walk back to the dorms. I won’t be offended.”

Art shook his head. “I’ve got time, I’ll wait. I’ve gotta call someone anyways,” he said plopping down the bench and pulling out his phone.

“Alright weirdo, if you’re sure,” you said, dropping your tote bag next to him. “I’ll be super quick.” With that, you darted off to the girls' locker room.

As soon as you disappeared, Art pulled out his phone and dialed Patrick’s number. The phone barely rang before Patrick answered, his voice tense with impatience.

“Are you guys on the fucking way yet or am I going to have to wait longer?”

“Hello, sunshine!” Art greeted cheerily. “Your beloved is taking a quick shower. We’ll be there in about 25 to 30 minutes.”

Patrick groaned loudly. “Why didn’t you just tell her to shower in her dorm? I’ll lick the sweat off her if it means not waiting any longer.”

Art grimaced at his best friend’s comment. “The water’s out on her floor. She said she’s literally only rinsing off and changing. Just be patient. I’ll text you when to leave so we can time it perfectly.” A sigh rang out on the other line.

“If this plan doesn’t work and I’ve been hiding from my girlfriend for a couple hours for no reason, I’m going to seriously hurt you,” Patrick grumbled, staring out Art’s dorm window.

“Well she definitely thinks you're in New York visiting your parents,” Art paused, “I just had to talk her down from buying a plane ticket, so I think we’re good.”

“I told her I just got into the city a couple hours ago when I actually got to SFO. She was so upset yesterday when I said it’d be five days until we saw each other. She called me a fucking asshole, so I dont know what to do anymore.” Patrick said as he flopped onto Arts bed.

Art scribbled on his worksheet, humming in response. “Well, at least you know that she definitely misses you.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if she misses me or just wants to slap me in the face,” Patrick replied, exasperated.

Just then, Art saw you coming out of the locker room, chatting with one of your friends on the team. “Hopefully not the latter. Anyway she’s out. See you at 15. Don’t be late,” Art said flatly before hanging up, knowing Patrick and his unfortunate untimeliness. 

Art smiled up at you as you approached. “Who was that?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“Our shared lover,” Art replied with a laugh, haphazardly shoving his worksheet and phone into his bag as he stood up.

“Aww, any exciting updates from Pat? He still stuck with his parents for another five days?” you teased, sticking your tongue out playfully.

“He just got to the city. He mentioned playing on the East River courts and paying someone to hold a spot for him,” Art lied smoothly.

“Sounds about right,” you said, sighing. “Anyway, I was talking to Nathalie over there…” you squinted, linking arms with Art as the two of you started the walk back to your dorm. “She mentioned a frat party happening tonight. Since Patrick’s trapped in New York, I figured why not go?”

“There’s going to be a keg stand, a ton of alcohol, and some shitty DJ or something,” you added, glancing at a group of students touring the campus before turning back to Art.

Art nodded, slightly wincing at the mention of the keg stand. “Wow, sounds like a lot of fun,” he replied sarcastically, earning a nod of agreement from you.

“I was planning on skipping it, but Nathalie really wants me to go. I thought if you came with me, it might actually be fun. Better than wallowing in my room wishing Patrick was here,” you admitted, biting your lip.

"Well, we had fun at that party last Friday, you remember right?" Art asked, smirking.

"Remember is a strong word," you replied, shaking your head with a laugh. "I think I have bits and pieces from that night. I do remember waking up still drunk at noon with my t-shirt on backwards and you snoring next to me in bed. Also like 5 missed calls from Patrick."

Art flashed you a lopsided grin. "Well, your bed's comfy, but I thought I was going to roll off in the middle of the night."

"Well, I stayed in my corner, I was flush against the wall as you were all sprawled out making yourself at home on my bed," you teased, nudging him playfully.

As you approached your dorm building, you noticed Art’s phone buzz. He glanced at it quickly, fumbling to put it away as a smile grew on his face. “What’s with the grin, weirdo?” you asked, narrowing your eyes suspiciously.

“Oh, nothing. Just a funny text,” Art replied too quickly, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re terrible at lying, you know that?”

“Who, me? Who said I’m lying, I’m the picture of innocence,” Art said defensively.

You shook your head. “Sure you are. Anyway, I think I’m gonna drop my stuff on the floor, crawl into bed, and maybe take a nap. Maybe we can think about that party, I can call you at 11 so we can pregame.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Art said with a nod. “I’ll walk you to your door.”

You smiled gratefully as the two of you ascended the stairs to your floor. Art talked animatedly about his plans for the weekend while you half-listened, preoccupied with thoughts of collapsing onto your bed and taking a deserved long nap.

"Yeah anyways, I'm thinking of catching up on some studying, this english class is kicking my ass," Art continued, unaware of your drifting attention. "Maybe I’ll go on a run later though. You could join me if you wanted, if you’re up."

"Maybe," you replied absentmindedly, reaching a hand into your tote bag sifting for your keys.

As you reached your door, frustrated with your bag, you dropped your tennis bag and lifted your whole tote up, practically sticking your face in it to find your keys. "I hate these fucking tote bags, I can’t find shit," you grumbled to Art, feeling a tap on your shoulder.

Startled, you turned around with a scowl— until you saw Patrick standing there, a mischievous grin on his face. "Patrick! What the fuck? What are you doing here-” you exclaimed, letting your tote bag fall to the floor and throwing your arms around him in a tight hug.

Patrick laughed, hugging you back just as tightly. "Surprise" he exclaimed, holding you close, smiling at Art over your shoulder.

You pulled back slightly, giving him an incredulous look. "You asshole! Trapped in New York with my parents, my ass!" you shook your head, playfully hitting him on the chest.

Patrick held his chest dramatically and leaned in, kissing your cheek lightly. "All part of the plan," he murmured. “Plus, I had a little help," he added, nodding towards Art, who was standing nearby with a smug expression.

You turned in Patrick's arms to face Art, scoffing in shock. "Art, you were in on this? You’re such a liar," you exclaimed.

Art shrugged. "Hey, I was just hosting him at my dorm while we were at practice. Technically, I didn’t lie—I just omitted a few details," he explained, grinning.

"How could you do this to me? Traitor!" you said dramatically, though a smile tugged at the corner of your lips.

Patrick wrapped his arms tighter around your waist, pulling you closer against him and resting his head on your shoulder. "Come on. You know it was worth it," he said, his tone teasing.

You sighed playfully, shaking your head at the pair of them. "I guess I can forgive you both this time," you conceded.

Patrick’s hand gently brushed through your hair as he settled his head into the curve of your neck. “You know I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me,” he said softly.

As you lingered in Patrick's embrace, you paused. "Wait, where's all your stuff?" you asked, pulling back slightly and turning to look up at him.

Patrick grinned, nodding towards your door. "In your dorm," he replied casually.

“Wow, Breaking and entering," you quipped, crossing your arms squinting at Art.

Art interjected with a laugh, "Actually, perfectly legal entering. You're the one who gave me a spare key."

You shook your head, "That's for emergencies, Art," you retorted, shooting him a mock glare.

Patrick turned you around to face him, his hands resting gently on your shoulders. "Come on, admit it, you're impressed," he teased.

You sighed, "I'm shocked you guys were able to pull this off, honestly," you admitted, shaking your head with amusement. Patrick laughed softly, rubbing your back soothingly.

Reluctantly pulling away from Patrick's arms, you grabbed your tote bag from the floor, turning to face Art and Patrick. "As much as this hallway talk is very exciting, I seriously need to find my keys. I'm exhausted," you declared half-joking.

After a brief search through your bag, you finally located your keys nestled among your belongings. Patrick picked up your tennis bag with a playful grin, indicating his readiness to follow you inside.

"Alright, Art, thank you," Patrick called out over his shoulder as you unlocked the door.

Art waved casually. "Have fun, be safe you two. I'll see you later," he replied as he walked down the hallway.

As the two of you entered your dorm room, you barely had enough time to place your bags on the floor before Patrick closed the gap between you and him and crashed his lips onto yours. His hands pulled you against him as he pressed your back against the door, placing his hands on either side of you almost boxing you in. His kisses were sloppy, teeth colliding as his lips moved against yours, hands desperately roaming your body, as if he couldn't get close enough to you.

You responded eagerly, melting into his embrace, your own hands finding their way into his hair, tugging him closer. His lips moved hungrily against yours, his tongue tracing your lower lip, hands roaming over your back, then up to cradle your face, pushing strands of hair away as he deepened the kiss.

"Patrick," you managed to gasp between kisses, your chest rising and falling with each breath. "I... I need to put my stuff away," you painted, reluctantly pulling back

Patrick leaned back, a mischievous smirk on his face, moving over to lean against your desk. "Sure," he murmured, his gaze lingering on you as you took out some things from your bag. "So, how was practice?" he asked, his voice low, as he looked you up and down.

You scoffed, a hint of satisfaction playing on your lips as you organized. "Heinous. I keep getting paired with this girl on the team who can't return any of my serves," you replied exasperatedly, glancing over at him.

Patrick raised an eyebrow, "maybe you should just go easy on her."

You shook your head, clicking your tongue in frustration. "I've tried to go easy on her, but she can't even play me when I do that. She acts like it's my fault she can't play for shit," you paused to sigh.

Patrick grinned, tracing a hand up and down your arm. "We both know you're too good for stanford women's tennis," he murmured, moving from the desk to stand behind you, his hands coming to rest on your hips and giving them a quick squeeze.

You whipped your head around, rolling your eyes and scoffing at his comment. "Careful," you say firmly.

Patrick put his hands up in mock surrender, his cocky grin never faltering. "Alright, alright. Sorry, my bad," he said. "You're right."

As an unspoken apology, Patrick moved closer, his hands gently moving up to your waist as he leaned in to kiss your neck softly. His lips left a warm trail on your skin, "I missed you," he murmured between kisses, his breath hot against your ear. “So much.”

You tilted your head slightly, allowing him better access, closing your eyes briefly to savor the sensation. "I missed you too," you hummed, your voice softening as you turned to face him fully. Your hands came to rest on his chest. "You know, I wish you would’ve just told me you were coming," you teased, carding your fingers through his hair.

Patrick's playful demeanor softened as he gazed into your eyes, his fingers brushing against your cheek as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind your ear. "Sorry again," he murmured sincerely, his breath mingling with yours. "Do you still love me?" he asked, clearly teasing and testing you.

You couldn't help but smile, your fingers threading through the strands of his hair at the nape of his neck. "I still love you, even with your elaborate lies," you replied, planting a sweet kiss on his lips. "But I have to say I knew something was up. Art was being weirder than normal."

Patrick hummed, his hands gently caressing your sides as he leaned in for another kiss.

"Hey? Are you even listening to me?" you asked, blinking up at him, a playful smirk tugging at your lips.

Patrick paused, his forehead resting against yours as he looked into your eyes. "Sorry, what did you say? I was a little distracted," he said, smiling.

You laughed softly, giving him a light shove. “I said Art was acting weirder than normal. I could tell he was hiding something.”

He shook his head and grinned, suddenly, he scooped you up over his shoulder, eliciting a surprised laugh from you as he carried you to the bed. Playfully flopping you down, his hands on either side of your head as he leaned in to kiss you again, his lips warm and insistent.

"So, what's our plan for tonight?" he asked between kisses, his fingers tracing light patterns on your sides.

You sighed softly, your words catching in your throat as his kisses became more fervent. "Well, there's this party my friend invited me to," you managed to say, struggling to speak coherently. "But last time I went out with Art, it was a shit show," you paused, trying to focus as his lips trailed down your collarbone, "but you're here, so we can do… whatever you want," you finally managed to say, your voice breathless with desire.

"Can we?" Patrick teased, his tone dripping with innuendo, his kisses becoming more urgent and needy.

You sighed deeply, rolling your eyes. "You know, you're impossible," you muttered, shaking your head. "But yes, we can."

Patrick grinned triumphantly, his hands roaming over your body as he leaned in to kiss you again, his hunger for you evident in every touch and movement. "Good," he murmured against your lips. "I think I just want you to be myself tonight."

"Freaky," you quipped, biting your tongue to hide a laugh.

With a self-assured grin, Patrick swiftly removed his T-shirt, revealing his lean and tan body. His gaze never left yours as he leaned back in, his lips finding yours with intensity. Your fingers traced lightly over his chest as you meshed together, and through kisses, you opened your eyes for a moment, gaze fixed on the freckles dotting his nose and cheeks.

"You've got more freckles," you observed with a playful smile, pulling back slightly, teasingly tracing each tiny mark with your fingertip.

Patrick grinned warmly, his eyes crinkling as he removed his lips from yours pulling you into a tight hug. "You're so cute," he murmured, squeezing you against him. His hands gently moved up to cup your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as he pulled you closer, lips looking for another kiss with a soft sigh of contentment slipping out. His gaze, filled with adoration and longing, locked onto yours, silently expressing his deep affection.

"Fuck, you're so pretty," he whispered, his voice low and filled with awe. You locked eyes with him, your own expression softening as you smiled, your fingers tracing the curve of his jaw.

Without breaking eye contact, Patrick's hands moved to the hem of your T-shirt, his touch almost insistent. He lifted the fabric, exposing your skin to the cool air and his heated gaze, with the T-shirt slipped over your head and thrown to the floor, forgotten. His gaze traveled downward, taking in the sight of you, bare-chested in front of him, a cheeky grin began to spread across his face. 

You rolled your eyes, whacking his arm. "Are you 13?" you teased.

Patrick laughed, unfazed as his hands and mouth roamed your newly exposed skin, his lips moving back to your collarbone, placing soft kisses along its length. Your remaining clothes were shed in a flurry, falling to the floor as you both moved with urgency desperately reconnecting.

Finally, as your kisses slowed and the two of you were breathing somewhat heavily, you rolled onto him, resting your head on his chest. His arms wrapped around you instinctively, pulling you close, with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear.

"I love you," Patrick murmured softly, placing a lovingly sweet kiss onto your forehead.

You met his gaze with a soft smile. "Is that just because we had incredible reunion sex?" you teased lightly, a playful challenge in your voice. "Or do you love me all the time?"

Patrick laughed, his fingers moving up and down on your back. "Only for the sex, it's usually worth the plane ticket," he teased back, with a smile. "Just kidding. I love you all the time," he replied earnestly, as a grin started forming on his face.

Leaning up from his chest, you pressed a sloppy kiss against his mouth, your hands tangling into his hair as you felt the corners of his lips curve into a smile against yours. "I knew it," you murmured against his lips, a hint of amusement in your voice.

"Say it back," Patrick urged with a playful grin, attempting to deepen the kiss, but you playfully pulled away before he could capture your lips again.

Rolling your eyes theatrically, you feigned annoyance, though your smile betrayed your true feelings. "Fine," you replied, leaning in to kiss him once more. "I love you too, freak."

[taylor]

If the following situation happened to you, how would you feel? Because I’m really hurt and pissed but maybe I’m missing something obvious?

- Last Tuesday, my friend Jordyn invited me and another friend to a bar this weekend on Saturday (last night).

- Saturday morning (yesterday) she texts the group chat and verifies we’re still down for the night - the plan at this point is meet at Jordyn’s house at 7 to leave together to the bar.

- It’s 6:30 PM and I’ve been cleaning the house and realize I’m going to be late, so I call Jordyn to let her know I’ll just meet her at the bar. She doesn’t answer, so I check my texts and see that I missed where she said at 3:40 PM in the group text: “Change of plans no bar tonight the vibe is weird”. I reply back asking about the vibe being weird and she texts me one on one saying she’ll call me in 10 minutes and I’m like sweet cool that’s fine - that’s at 6:30 PM. (for context, she was at a friend’s graduation, and had to see a girl she’s been in a semi-fight and big misunderstanding with, so my assumption is the “vibe” being off was due to this other girl and her boyfriend, who Jordyn had been somewhat involved with at some point.)

- I’m not the kind of person who thinks 10 minutes HAS to always mean 10 minutes, so I continue cleaning and an hour and 20 minutes go by and I decide to text her like bestie what’s the tea i’m so curious (this is at like 7:50 PM i think?) and right after i send it I open my find my friends app and I see Jordyn literally pull up at the bar, like the timing was insane to actually see her pull up like that.

- So she’s at the bar, that she said earlier tonight wasn’t happening anymore. I’m pissed because I feel like somewhere along the line she lied to me and I don’t understand why. Either she lied about me being invited to the bar in the first place, which doesn’t make sense, or she lied about it being cancelled, or just lied by omission. I ended up checking her location like 4 hours later and she was still at the bar (she’s home now so she didn’t leave her phone there like she’s done before lol).

…would y’all feel the same anger/resentment/sadness/etc that I feel? Because Jordyn and I recently got into a huge argument where I told her I felt she didn’t value our friendship because she kept cancelling plans last minute and I just wanted to hang out with her and it felt like I didn’t matter enough to her for her to always come up with an excuse for why today wouldn’t work - to her credit, though, when we finally talked things through 2 weeks later, she apologized for always cancelling or changing plans and said she’d try to be better about it (which is all anyone can ask for, for someone to TRY, and the result is MORE time with my bestie, which I always want). Then this happens not even a week after we reconciled over her CANCELLING AND CHANGING PLANS ALL THE TIME? like maybe i’m just an idiot but it seems to me like maybe not ideal to cancel plans with someone only to keep those same plans actually and just lol never reply to them?

Also, I texted her a few minutes later after I saw her get to the bar and I suggested seeing a movie or going to the bar anyway - I didn’t wanna be the weirdo who’s like I SEE YOURE AT THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT but honestly i was hoping she’d just say “omg come on by, the plans are back on!!” bc i was literally ready to go out and have fun, and i wanted to even try to give her an “out” where she could see i was still trying to make something happen, but wasn’t calling her out (even tho i probably rightfully could have). so anyway, i did text her at 8 pm with that idea and then at like 12:45 she’s still at the fucking bar and has yet to text me back, which will probably happen tomorrow but until then i’m just left to sit here and wonder what the fuck just happened and maybe she just doesn’t want me around? am i oblivious to this and maybe i’ve been recently annoying her and she felt like she had no option but to not re-invite me? or had no option but to lie? she’s like my best friend irl and so i don’t want to lose her but i don’t like this icky feeling i’ve got going on

[silkgonerough]

💒 Favorite Synastry Placements🍥💕

all based off of my own experiences/observations!

♡ hope you guys like it ♡

♡ moon in the 11th house:amazing! I hadn’t given this placement much thought in the beginning but it’s honestly the best feeling to have with someone. When I read about it I immediately looked up the house synastry between me and my childhood friend who I’ve known since I was born and viola his moon is in my 11th house! Idk how I knew but the energy we have is so comfortable and he’s someone where we can go a year without talking and then see eachother and it would feel like not even a day had passed. It’s a very light, happy, and authentic feeling when your around one another and just very natural. It’s like the other person knows everything about you and instead of feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable you feel accepted and welcomed. Great for friendships or relationships ♡

♡ moon conjunct venus: have this with my best friend :) everytime we get drunk we always end up confessing our love for eachother over text and it’s actually super funny. Very motherly relationship if that makes sense I think of her like my mom bc she always takes care of me! We can be do literally nothing and we’d still have a great time. This placement is great for just loving each others company ♡

♡ sun in the 5th house: super fun to have with anyone romantically or platonically! You two will always know how to make eachother laugh and are the life of the party when together :) the sun person loves being around the 5th house person a lot and may become extra needy for their attention once they realize how good they feel around them! The 5th house person is glad to give all their attention to the sun anyways tho ♡

♡ venus conjunct venus: underrated placement! your ways of showing love are very similar so you both feel comfortable and natural in giving eachother affection.You understand what the other person not only wants but needs without having to say anything. May be someone who enjoys a lot of the same music and art you like as well! Very aesthetically pleasing and loving relationship/friendship. Having this placement can smooth over a lot of hard saturn placements by making it easier for individuals to express their love for eachother.Very wholesome! ♡

♡ mercury in the 5th house: people I have this placement with make me laugh so hard. words are very reassuring and people who have mercury in your 5th know how to brighten up your mood with a couple of jokes! since this is in the house of leo which rules creativity and pleasure you may find yourself talking about a lot of crazy memories and things you’ve done with one another right off the bat. The mercury lights up the house person with their words ♡

♡ moon conjunct/trine jupiter: very very soft and supportive placement! you may feel unusually lucky when the two of you together and it’s because of how much positive energy you exude when together. Good karma tends to just follow you around when your with someone who shares this aspect with you. The moon person really enjoys being with the Jupiter person they admire their confidence and knowledge. The mood between both of you is always joyous and happy with a deep sense of respect for the other. You may exceptions for this person and their differences that you wouldn’t for anyone else! This aspect also helps to smooth out any repressing/negative aspects between you two ♡

♡ venus square mars: so this is definitely not for everyone but I’ve always found myself so attracted to people’s who’s venus’ square my mars vice versa possibly even more than the conjunct... idk why but I think the possibility of growth and change attracts me to them a lot since my love style is fixed (scorpio) I’m attracted to Leo and Aquarius since they’re love styles differ greatly than mine but they stay stable and consistent in how they show that love which is something I appreciate ♡

♡ mars in the 1st house: love the attraction and tension that comes with this aspect! People whose mars are in my first house are always the hottest in my eyes. Besides the sexual aspect the Mars person pushes the house person to take action and do things that may not normally be in their comfort zone. I like relationships/friendships that help me to grow so personally I don’t get annoyed at Mars influence when in this house ♡

♡ moon trine moon: honestly surprised I don’t see this one brought up more! If you share this someone you may probably take it for granted from how natural your connection is. Characterized by emotional harmony and balance this aspect is truely a blessing to see in any circumstance with another person. Being able to be emotionally open and expressive is very important to me with other people so my Pisces moon loves this aspect ♡

♡ venus in the 7th house: another placement that I have with my best friend! I’ve noticed that with most people I have this aspect with our friendships were very loving and physically intimate from the beginning! It didn’t take us very long to become that comfortable with one another and that element still hasn’t changed no matter how long I go without seeing them. ♡

♡ sun/mercury conjunct mercury: I feel like conversation and being able to communicate is a rlly important aspect in any partnership and this one of those aspects where you just kinda know what the other persons thinking without having to say anything. The word jinx may come up a lot too as you get closer with the other person bc your thought processes start to become synced up! I personally rlly like this aspect since it can bring two people very close together through simple conversations ♡

♡ sun in the 9th house: another underrated aspect! I may just love this because I’m a Sagittarius so this feels very comfortable to be in but this is honestly just so fun to have with someone. Lots of adventuring and exploring together both physically and mentally! This is also the type of relationship that helps both partners grow through simply learning about one another. Everything feels larger than life and suddenly you don’t feel that alone anymore when your with eachother ♡

[babymilkawa]

HI BEAN!! so basically i saw that ur inbox was open and i was wondering,,, could u maybe do like todoroki in a secret relationship x gn!reader, either texts or hc format bc i feel like thatd be rly cool. have a good day!! 😊 oh also if u want u can do like a how yall got found out too sksjdh

yes!! aah how have I never thought of doing a secret relationship with texts before,, this is brilliant!!

secret relationship headcanons with:

todoroki shoto

gn!reader :)

mild swearing

so it was your idea to keep it a secret because todoroki wouldn’t really mind letting other people know that you’re his

but he completely understands your reasons

although he wishes he could openly hold your hand and stare at you without midoriya and iida following his line of vision, he wants you to be comfortable first

there’s a lot of sneaking around, whether it’s glances at each other or to spend the night in one another’s arms, you have to admit it’s kind of fun

y’all even have a little knocking pattern

one time you were wearing his hoodie in your bed and you heard his usual knock

as soon as you opened the door, his arms were around you immediately, giving you only a few seconds to close the door with your foot

he’s picking you up by the waist and throws the two of you on your bed

“shotooo” you say, giggling

he’s usually clingy but today he was all over you

his hoodie that you were wearing had your own scent mixed in to it, making him rub his face on the crook of your neck while holding you by the waist

your hands instinctively went up to his hair and ruffled his soft locks

after rubbing his face print onto your neck LMAO, the two of you just lay there, panting from laughing so hard

he’s still on top of you and he doesn’t plan on moving any time soon

his cheek is to yours and his face is literally 😌

then you get a text saying that everyone’s meeting up in the living room to talk about plans for the weekend

gently pushing your boyfriend off you, you say “hey I need to leave first, you can come 5 min later or I’ll text you. Ok sho?”

he didn’t respond, arm still snuggly wrapped around your waist

you wiggled out of his grasp and got out of bed

remembering to take his hoodie off, you leave your dorm, looking around to see if anyone was near

you immediately sat up from your seat on the couch and rushed to your dorm

you saw midoriya standing outside of your room and you didn’t know whether to be relieved or to panic

he was a good friend of your boyfriend’s and if he did find out, you trusted that he would keep it a secret

midoriya saw you coming and whispered, “uhh y/n I think you have someone in your dorm”

“what? Oh no don’t worry about it, I just came out there’s no one in there”

“are you sure? I think we should check..”

“nopeee don’t worry about it! I think we should go, they’re probably waiting for us”

you dragged him away from your door and the two of you sat next to each other on the couch

you could tell that he suspected something, though

although you were grateful that he was worried and wanted to ensure your safety, you knew that your tone of voice sounded suspicious

then iida spoke up “where’s todoroki? We said to meet in 5 minutes!”

you looked at anywhere but midoriya and he turned to you, suspicions confirmed

uraraka was on your other side and just at that moment, she started dusting your shoulder “y/n why do you have white hair on your shoulder, red too”

ah shit

you could see midoriya’s eyes widen from your peripheral vision and see other heads turning to you

“yea..” denki said. “where is todoroki?”

“why are you looking at me? I don’t know where he is.” you say.

then at that moment, your boyfriend walked in, looking around

realizing that there were no seats left, he subconsciously plopped down right at your feet, causing the whole room to gasp

“I KNEW IT” kirishima said, jumping up to his feet and pointing at the two of you

mina was hopping around and screaming “how did we not notice 😫😭”

“well it wasn’t really obvious until like 5 minutes ago” midoriya says beside you

“wait..so the hair on you.. was Todoroki’s?” denki says.

“no shit sherlock, who else could it belong to?” bakugou growls

you honestly don’t know how to react and looking down at your boyfriend, you realized that he looked pretty calm, except for the tiniest smirk on his face

to be honest, you didn’t mind anymore

plus now, you could put the collage you made of your couple pictures as your screen saver

todoroki already had todorokiy/n as his phone passcode but he wanted to change ur contact name and put his favorite picture of you as his screensaver

then he got up and pulled you off the sofa, only to sit back down himself and bring you into his lap

the room broke out in “awws” and you could feel the color rushing into your cheeks

he rested his chin on your shoulder and said, “so what are we talking about?”

a/n: this was so fun to write!! aah yk I really wanna give you guys content/prompts that you don’t usually find on here,,,hence the quarantine ones,,,but I apologize if you come on Tumblr to get away from all that oops 🤭

bnha masterlist

[neko-rogers]

hey!! I’m not sure if your inbox is still open but I thought I’d send this just in case! what would you think abt a dark!peter who’s obsessed w s/o and offers to have her stay with him during like the stay-at-home pet of covid so she’s not alone then when it’s lifted he’s like lol you’re not leaving. sorry that’s kinda long and super specific. i absolutely love your writing though!!💗

Jamie All Over

words: 2,040 (no, i should be sorry bc this was chaotic)

tags: didn’t expect it to be this LONG, manipulative!peter parker, grooming, overprotectiveness, slight mentions of sex, don’t expect too much lmao its a headcanon

a/n: hi babe! i wasn’t entirely sure if you wanted this as a one shot (but if u do let me know!)

so you’re pretty unaware of every move peter is trying to do with you, you know? you were not really sure if it was a kind gesture, as the gentleman he seemed to be, or was it just a special treatment

ever since second year and until now as both of you were on your fourth year, he was consistent with his efforts

these moves were moments like when he would carry your books to your next class or confidently invite you to a study ‘date’ at the library after – often times he tells that his friends were invited, but would never show up later on

sometimes he would bring you lunch. you tried to turn it down kindly, but he insists that it was purposely packed as an extra for when he stays late around the university.

it was a lie though. anyone could tell by the way it was prepared looking very appetizing and tasted just as amazing at it was presented. 

and as peter had mentioned that he lived alone, you also assumed he was the one to make his meals. you were so sure he doesn’t pack for an extra and intentionally wants to impress you with his skills.

“hey, y/n!,” he calls, “look this eggroll has a cute design!”

he honestly was an epitome of a walking sunshine. his smile seemed so pure and you never felt any ill-intent for every gesture he had done for you

his friends seemed very welcoming the moment he introduced you to his group

you got along with ned who seemed to be just as joyful and funny as peter. meanwhile mj was a bit more of a tough cookie, nevertheless you both eventually got a long better than you expected

however, it came to one point wherein your own group of friends started being disheartened with your lack of communication

“you’ve been spending more time with that parker boy, huh?” “yeah, kinda?” “are you two like... dating?” “oh no! no... no... nooo!”

the moment they frowned at you was then that you realized and felt a little more guilty. you always remembered that friends were supposed to be friends despite the lack of time and effort, right?

somehow you tried to compensate for the lack of time with your friends. but every minute you spend felt more awkward than before

they weren’t sharing the same vibe with you and you were starting to question if it had been always like it – were you only adjusting to them?

you reached out for peter, considering that he became one of the closest and trusted people around the university. plus, he seemed to have genuinely great friends

“do you feel happy when you’re spending time with them?”

“well i used to but recently–”

“then you should stop being friends with them.”

you were upset for a second. the way he instantly told you that cutting ties with them would be the (only) option

he sounded serious on the other end of the line and you were just speechless for a moment. the dead air between lines was evident, but you didn’t know what to say

“sorry,” peter makes up, “i didn’t mean to sound too serious. i just don’t like people who are rude, especially to you.”

“oh, it’s fine. i totally get it.” you felt a batch of butterflies around your stomach. someone actually cared for you!!!

the moment you didn’t hesitate on losing your friendship with your past friends and moved on with joining peter’s group, things felt lighter.

somehow you felt more expressive than you realized. they were open to your ideas and thoughts, just as you were with them. you felt super comfortable and realized that you weren’t holding back on anything anymore

that’s why you had expected your winter break to be better than your past ones

everyone agreed to skate around the ice rink in rockefeller for christmas. along with it, also spending new year’s eve at the time square

news flash: you finally had the cliche new year’s eve kiss, with none other than peter parker!!! hooray!!!

for anyone who had common sense, your feelings for peter had accentuated. you weren’t denying it either, and the boy wasn’t oblivious to it too

he was just so irresistible and kind to you, like, all the time – to surreal, honestly

you felt and KNEW you were spoiled with peter (and his friends, who liked to spend time with you outside too, just not as much as him)

just as you were planning your spring break activities, it had to be postponed for another time

a lockdown had to be implemented around the country as it was under the state of a pandemic

mj and ned told the group that they’ll be with their families since lectures had to be concluded for the mean time

you planned to do the same, but you expected that this situation wouldn’t last long. so you chose to stay in your dorm rather than return to your hometown

completely sucks since you not only don’t get to hang out with your friends, but you weren’t able to see anyone in person...

until you got a text from peter

he was literally inviting you over his apartment since he explained that he wasn’t returning home either

you practically rushed to pack a small amount of clothes for a sleepover whilst not forgetting to wear a mask (bc it’s fucking important ok)

you arrived at his address and a big warm hug ensues 

his unit was so tidy and you were convinced he did it to impress you

peter was so happy to see you, acknowledging that you’re also spending a few nights with him

the nights mostly consisted of eating snacks and binge watching movies

however during one of those nights, both of you got a bonus – making out on his couch and further, completely forgetting the television

making out with peter wasn’t awkward at all. most of the time he was the one in control, which you didn’t mind

his hands treated you so gently but the way he teased you made you crave for more than what he was offering

a lot of whining, swearing, and begging – you weren’t aware but he was enjoying it a lot

on his side, he did praise you from time to time, but most of it consisted of raw tension and actions. the room was full of grunts and short breaths 

just want to include how sexy peter would be while he moans all over you. like his whole sunshine personality just drained away the moment he places his hands on either sides of your waist

the next day you felt like a princess even though you know it shouldn’t be???

apparently peter prepared breakfast for you and you felt embarrassed walking around his place only in the shirt you wore yesterday and underwear

just when you thought the extra lunch he packs for you was already amazing, the breakfast he prepared whilst being fresh and hot was just incredible

“you really like it?”

“of course! you really have to teach me to cook sometimes”

peter laughs and jokes, “yeah, don’t worry. i feel like we’ve got a lot of time ahead.”

ok fast forward to a few more days when you were beginning to feel like a freeloader. he lets you borrow a few of his clothes as yours were in the laundry

by the time you wanted to stop by your place, peter started to be more... clingy

at first he didn’t want you to go but after a few more debates, he felt defeated and instead insisted on going with you

eventually you caved and let him. it wasn’t that bad either, he talked to you about a lot of things on the way leaving you entertained the whole walk without realizing how far it had been

he helped you ‘pack’ more stuff so you wouldn’t be going back and forth from his place and yours. you felt like you were going out of town for a month with the amount of clothes and products

both of you returned to his place around late afternoon. you felt pretty tired and didn’t hesitate to pass out on the living room couch

when you woke up you sensed that you were in peter’s bedroom, meaning he carried and tucked you during the night

plus! an arm was wrapped around your midriff and you could feel peter’s breathing against your side

you closed your eyes and appreciated the moment. it was cute and made butterflies flutter around your stomach, and you tried not to move much to not wake him up

anyways apparently the pandemic lasted longer, and more serious, than expected (fuck the government and their incompetency) 

you spent more time with peter and was thankful that you didn’t spend this quarantine alone

within a blink of an eye, a month and a half already had passed. you couldn’t deny that most, or all, days have been unproductive

eat, cook, watch tv, cuddle, fuck, repeatedly get spoiled??? yeah sounds like the dream

weird though because you haven’t completely brought up to peter if you’re actually in a relationship with him. oh no were you just friends with (a lot) of benefits??

but you also felt like it wasn’t the time to bring it up. neither of you were saying anything so it was best to let it be for the fear that things might go downhill from there

anyways this continued for more weeks, especially since the ‘stay-at-home’ policy was deemed necessary

you started to help him do errands around the apartment just to feel like you weren’t an actual freeloader – but it wasn’t a surprise when he kept insisting that you should relax

more cute moments

more sexy times

and more cuddles during night (peter’s grip became tighter every night, but you shrugged it off assuming that it was just you getting homesick and overthinking)

ok but when you brought up being homesick and mentioned that you planned peter wasn’t entirely happy about it

the way he acted wasn’t just clingy. he insisted that he’d be the one to go and that you were staying

“ok but i’m not a dog, peter?” “i know, honey, but it’s too dangerous outside. i wouldn’t want you to be at risk.” “i wear a mask?? i follow health protocols?? i’ll be fine??” “you don’t understand–”

oh god he was becoming controlling

you tried not to argue anymore, rather ignoring and pushing past him to proceed to the door

and peter instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and prevented you from walking further

there was a lot of struggling, but you didn’t know he was this strong. literally what the hell.

you tried to scream too but he pretty much threatened you to your core

“let’s talk this out,” he grunts as he secures his grip around you

“the hell? let me go!”

things got more complicated. he did convince you to talk with him (by means of tying your arms and legs to incapacitate you from running and righting)

it was a nightmare. he was really soft and sweet with you, even getting teary eyed after stating, “i only want what’s best for you... for us”

however you could sense the manipulativeness through it despite being making everything else look convincing

“trust me, sweetie, i wouldn’t want to hurt you. it would crush me” “please don’t cry. i’m only protecting you” “people are disgusting, they don’t deserve an angel like you” “don’t worry, i can protect you”

it terrified you to your nerves, sending shivers across your spine

at first you didn’t realize it, but eventually after days of being trapped, you figured he had been grooming you the whole time

he tried to make you dependent of him and somehow he did a fine job. just not enough to completely exploit you

though, it made you question what would have been better in your situation: being conscious of his sly nature with the hope of escaping or being unaware and completely wrapped around his finger whereas letting him continue how greatly he had been caring for you?

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[movinglaciers]

lateposting oversharing to the tumblr void bc i’m sad

i’ve been sooooo down bad with dating like so bad. I’ve gone on 3 dates this year, all I thought went well. first 2 ghosted me. 3rd one lasted for EIGHT HOURS and he was SO romantic and kept telling me WHILE WE WERE ON THE DATE that he was having fun, and then the next day I texted him and said I want to hang out again soon and he said “I had fun too but I have a lot going on so I will have to pass” like bro??? at least he didn’t ghost me I guess but I feel like the way he said that was so fucking cruel like I’m actually so sad. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO SOMEONE????? while we were on this fucking date he kept calling it the first date and saying other things we should do in the future and hugging me and cuddling me and kissing me like not even making out. and then we did fuck and when he left he hugged me for like a minute straight kissing my cheeks like we’re fucking dating. and then he’s like yeah actually i’ll pass. I’m actually sick like why did he ask me deep questions to open up to him and vice versa like I never want to trell anyeone important ever again. and I keep letting guys take advantage of me bc I feel like I put out and then they do this. It’s so discouraging and I’m so ugly and obviously don’t have a good personality bc all these dates fail and I’m so sick of dating apps but I’m literally going to be alone forever at this rate likeeeee it’s kind of sick !!! I also feel like I don;t have any particularly close friend connections right now either and I just feel so lonely! I hate being young in covid times its like no one is trying to actually meet new people romantic or platonically. so I just whore myself out bc it’s the onyl way I can find any sort of connection. my body count is 16 and I’m sick thinking about it. and I see “friends” with their friend groups and im like where the fuck do you find a connection like that!!! I would kill for a friend group and extended friend group and friends of friends and to not feel so god damn lonely all the time 

I also hate my job so much like i’m actually miserable and I’m a fucking senior level being paid less than some newer entry levels and it’s so sick and I can’t afford to live! one of my 2 paychecks is exactly the price of my rent and I have such bad credit card debt right now I just really cannot get ahead. and I can’t tell my parents because they will just freak out. like I barely eat 1 meal a day and I still have nothing in my savings. and I applied for new jobs and interviewed for one and got denied and I know that’s life and it happens but god damn it made me feel so bad. no one wants me! as a friend or platonic or employee! like I literally don’t know what’s wrong with me and I feel like I’m so shut off now I barely talk to people about personal things bc I don’t want to give anyone reason to not like me

I know I need to go back on my meds I just CANt force myself too. I also can’t afford the refill. I know I need a second job but not even barista or bar back jobs will hire me. I know I need to go back to therapy but I can’t afford it cuz I can’t afford to live!!! I just cannot do this anymore. not in an unalive way but god fucking dammit when will I catch a BREAK!!!! this shits never ending and I’m only 24!!!!!!!!!! I don’t even have the resources to get myself out of this hole. part of me feels like I need to move out of philly and start fresh somewhere else but like if I can’t make friends in my own city how the fuck am I going to fare somehwere completely new. liike I think I have newish friends that im close with or so I think but then they hang out together and its last minute like oh you should come! obviously they don’t want me there.

it’s 4am and I’m sobbing crying typing this and listening to folklore and I have a meeting at 8am<3

[heyitsyn]

,,,,OK Kurat

Soulmate!Bokuto

a/n: when bokuto refuses to fix his roots and let the gray dye grow out and it slightly irritates you

colorblind soulmate where you lose your colors and only gain them back when your other half starts to have feelings for you

requests are open!!

so, leggo?

ever since you turned 16, you’ve literally gone colorblind

like you were perfectly happy seeing the colors of the world

from daichi’s red sweater

to hinata’s orange hair

you were ROBBED of the colors of the world

when you woke up that morning, you knew you would get your soulmate sign soon and you were sure it would happen while you were in class as it would start the exact time you were born 16 years ago

so there you were, happily eating with nishi and tanaka at the roof

‘hey, y/n-chan, look at this manga i found!’

you look up at noya and you almost choked on your rice ball when you couldn’t see his blonde streak anymore

it was like the moment you blinked, it was gone

he must’ve noticed your surprised look because noya touched the front floof since you were staring right at it

tanaka had his mouth opened and patted your back when you coughed

‘ah, it happened now?’

then you just start bawling

‘i cANt sEE yOuR hAiR anYmoRE!! aNd hiNATa’s hAiR! aND tHE oRANgE uniFOrMS!’

they understand it was a touchy subject for you since you were expecting something cute like noya’s thought sharing sign or tanaka’s taste sharing sign

but NO!!!

‘it’s okay y/n-chan. you’ll meet them soon and you’ll get your colors back’

from then on, all you’ve done is research all you can about soulmate signs and how they worked

yours happens to be a rarer one and you groaned bc of course it would happen to YOU

it states that usually, the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’d get your lost sense back

but you wouldnt know when it would exactly happen and be like your uncle who is nearly 40 and still cant smell anything

whats worse, there were even cases where you wouldnt get them back in one sight but gain them when they start to have romantic feelings for you

you really do hope you’d get the easier 

being a part-time manager, you often helped the vbc if you were free from your other clubs so you sometimes help kiyoko with the kids

entering the gym, you frowned when you saw hinata and the gray tone of his hair

everything was gray but colors that are light like yellow or bright orange, were lighter gray while darker ones were dark gray or black

seems like tanaka and noya told the team what happened because daichi went up to you and ruffled your hair before saying it’ll be okay

‘give it time! you will find them!’

yacchi, a manager-in-training, enthusiastically told you about her ideas for the poster and gave you her rough draft, explaining the little details

but you were out of it as you just roamed your eyes over the gray-colored paper

thus causing her to freak out

‘OH MY GOD! I”M SO SORRY Y/N-SAN! I FORGOT ABOUT IT!! I’M SO SORRY!’

(yacchi is just a little precious bun, please protec her :’))

but you ruffled her hair and put on a smile

‘don’t sweat it, yacchi’

after that whole thing about announcement of the tokyo training camp and the hinata/kageyama idiot squad

you guys were in the bus, getting ready for Tokyo

it’s also been weeks since you lost it so you were still new but you were starting to get used to it

ofc you still had mistakes like their different colored practice jerseys and who was in what team or wearing different colored socks

but you were slowly adapting

it was a few hours of a drive so everyone was static to get out of the cramp bus and use the bathroom and stretch their legs

you took your time and put the others trash into a plastic bag bc youre just a great manager like that

getting out of the bus, you heard a horrendous and terrifying laugh and saw the nekoma captain hunching over in laughter

‘my god. at least his face makes up for it’

you got a text from hinata and kageyama saying that they were going to take their exams now and you sent them a little encouraging blurb

the guy from nekoma with the mohawk gawked at the 3 managers and you remembered him having that blonde hair dye

when you and the rest entered their gym, all you saw were balls flying everywhere and lots of people

your eyes scanned for at least someone to make eye contact with you because this gym has a lot of people in it and there could be a possibility they were in here

like 0.000003% probably but still a chance

from the managers to the players, not one reactivated the colors

‘hm,,, i think my soulmate is in here’

noya’s little comment made you glare at him in envy and he grinned with a peace sign

you noticed that boy kenma with his haircut and there was someone sitting near him that made you turn to the others

‘okay, either i just have terrible memory but is that a new guy?’

suga wondered the same thing and you flinched at the kid’s harsh stare at you all

there was a light gray tone to his hair and eyes so you were curious what color they were

‘his legs look a little long. i think he’s taller than most of these guys’

asahi said which made you give him a look

‘listen, as long as we got tsukki-kun, we’re okay’

the first match was against some powerhouse called fukurodani and they had a few interesting players

by interesting, you meant looks wise

that one guy looked freaking pretty with his sharp eyes while the other guy, who you assumed to be the captain, had round eyes and spiked hair

you were pretty sure that he had different colored hair due to the mix of black and light tones

AND THE WAY IT WAS STYLED THO

its like he got electrocuted and his hair just stayed the same

you were too busy looking at the 2 teams that you completely missed karasuno’s defeat and just saw them doing flying receives

the others gathered to the side and the next game was against fukurodani and nekoma

from hearing the names being said, that pretty guy was akashi or aggghasshi and the owl looking dude was bokuto-san or bokutosang or something bokuto bc youre not exactly sure

and then he be flying

‘he REALLY flying!’ 

you exclaim and tbh what can you expect from being one of the top 5 aces in the country

then the ball straight flew towards your own player and you and yamagucci screamed for his name

everyone flinched when the ball hit his hand and you ran over to check

‘ouch’

you hear that loud voice of his on top of kei’s hiss and you growled

‘HEY HEY HEY’

he didnt even apologize and if it wasnt for tanaka and daichi holding you back, you were about to scream into the guys ear for damaging your player’s hand since he needed it to block properly

‘LET ME GO! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS INJUR-’

suga smiled and raised a hand apologetically your shouts caught the attention of others

the more games karasuno played, the more they lost

you went to fill up their water bottles and was mumbling to yourself, blaming that freak haired guy for tsukki’s pained blocks

‘didnt even apologize. how dare he hurt my boy’

bokuto was going for a drink when he heard your mumbles by the water fountain

he noticed you as the karasuno manager and poked you in the shoulder

‘ah! youre the manager!’

cue you looking to glare at him since you could recognize that voice anywhere

‘and you are?’

taken aback with your tone, he grinned

‘bokuto. bokuto koutarou’

‘ah’

then you went back to filling up the bottles

he fiddled with his towel before poking you again

‘um,,, i want to apologize for earlier. sorry about that spike’

you stopped and you nodded

‘i appreciate the apology, bokuto-san. but you should say it to him’

bo guessed that you were kinda their mother hen and you looked after the players of your team

‘are you,,, a third year?’

closing the lid of the last bottle, you placed it on the basket

‘second’

his eyes widened before shouting

‘im your senpai!’

you jumped at the sudden volume of his voice and awkwardly smiled

‘ah. okay, bokuto-san’

his eyes widened before patting your shoulder gently

‘drop the -san! i prefer being called senpai!’

does this guy have a senpai kink or something

but there was probably nothing wrong with calling him senpai right?

‘okay, bokuto-senpai’

you were lowkey kinda iffy since you dont really call anyone senpai, everyone was -san to you

bo laughed loudly and ruffled your hair

‘WAH!!!!!! MY LITTLE KOUHAI!!!’

‘bokuto-san!’

your head looked up and you saw the pretty guy walking towards you

he bowed in front of you in both greeting and apology

‘sorry about him. he gets a little excited sometimes. im akaashi keiji by the way’

you waved it off and smiled gently

‘nice to meet you, akaashi-san. and dont worry, i have two people like him in my team’

hinata and noya

‘come on. the next game is about to start’

he tugged bokuto’s arm and bo waved at you before walking away

‘see ya!’

but stopped

‘ah! i didnt get your name!’

‘y/n. l/n y/n’

‘see ya later y/n!’

when you came back, the boys were still doing flying and you glanced at your watch, knowing that your boys should be coming soon

you and yacchi were visibly listening to the other players talking about your team and kiyoko gave you both a look to settle down

‘hold it in, girls’

the sea of different tones of gray were currently making you dizzy with so many things happening at ones and you completely missed the door opening, revealing tanaka’s sister

noya’s excited shout made you turn and you waved excitedly

you’ve met her once when you went over to help tutor her poor brother and noya who practically lives at their house

everyone stopped what they were doing and saw the two boys huffing by the door

you heard kuroo’s comment but you were too excited to see them come back in one piece

‘ah, so those are the legendary first years’

hm, if only you knew why they were late

bo saw you with wide eyes and excitedly bouncing at the sidelines as karasuno started to play

‘what are you looking at bokuto-san?’

akaashi asked

bo thought you were interesting the moment he heard you angrily mumble about him and he thought your pouting face was cute

‘i wonder what her soulmate mark is’

akaashi knew about his soulmate sign since he received a very frantic phone call that sunday afternoon of bokuto not being able to see the color of his apple anymore

‘she probably doesnt have it yet’

akaashi’s answer made his brows furrow

‘she’s a second year so shes probably 16 already’

‘why would it matter to you anyways?’

yea, why did it matter?

‘just general curiosity. shes quite fiesty. i like her. i want to be friends’

akaashi sighs and pats his back

‘i support you, bokuto-san’

shoot this might as well be a bokuaka

he saw you run to the two first years and took their bags for them, ruffling their hair each

even though you’re only like a some months older than hinata, you still treat him like a babie

‘coach left some buns from earlier so you can eat that before you play. oh! i also got you your milk, kags!’

bo literally could feel your happiness radiating and he saw your eyes

too bad he couldn’t see the color of them

although the boys team was finally complete, they still lost quite a lot of sets

and they were trying so hard and you were just cheering on the sidelines w yacchi and kiyoko

you kept running back and forth from the drinking fountain since the boys kept drinking so much water

and bo just finds you there again

for the second time today

:0

‘oh? back again, y/n-chan?’

you could recognized that gruffy voice anywhere

you turned and gave him a tight smile

‘ah. hello bokuto-san’

he pouted and nudged you with a finger to your shoulder

‘senpai! call me senpai!’

you were pretty sure he was 18 yet he still threw a tantrum

what kinda-

‘okay okay. sorry, bokuto-senpai’

then like a switch his pouts became grins and you got dizzy with the sudden mood switch

‘youre such a diligent manager, y/n-chan. you should transfer to our school and be one of ours instead!’

then you remember meeting the 2 managers they had

‘ah, you already have 2 so i think you’re covered’

bo whined at that

‘but karasuno also has 2 without you!’

tbh you shouldve been uncomfortable in this situation bc here you have a grown man whining

but you found his pout endearing and his eyes were loony-looking

‘not to hurt your feelings, bokuto-senpai, but we just met and i don’t know you all that well’

‘then you know the solution to that, don’t you?’

you just stared at him

‘lets get to know each other! lets be friends! lets be close!’

you couldnt say anything else since you were kinda in a pickle here so you just nodded

‘um, okay’

‘bokuto-san!’

that voice made you perk up and you raised a hand

‘akaashi-san!’

bo saw your smile and he pouted, jealous that you didnt give that smile when you saw him

‘ah, l/n-san.’

you looked at bo and his eyes grew even bigger and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks with how they puffed out with his pout

woah wait huh

why did you just think of that

akaashi had to bring back bo to the gym for their match but bo refused to walk

‘no! not until y/n-chan wants to be my friend!’

what are you

5?

but you nodded, placing a hand around his bicep

you froze, trying to contain the shock of how S T R O N G they felt

ohmygad

‘l-lets get to know each other later, bokuto-sa-senpai’

you hurriedly corrected yourself and breathed a sigh of relief when he didnt notice

a big smile got to his face and he pointed at you

‘ill win this for you y/n-chan!’

you sweatdropped bc wow this manz is winning a game for you

no-for your friendship

he excitedly ran back down the hallway and disappeared with a faint ‘hey hey hey!’

you and akaashi shared a look and he apologized

‘im sorry if he made you uncomfortable’

‘nah nah, its okay’

‘and thanks for uplifting him. he was in a mood when he left bc we lost a set but now he’s energized thanks to you’

a,,, mood?

‘is he,,, i dont know,,,, bipolar?’

akaashi stood for a second before shrugging

‘i guess you could say that. the team tries to uplift him bc if hes in a mood he messes up’

a sound of recognition left your lips before you nodded

‘ah okay’

‘well, i guess im seeing you later then, l/n-san?’

‘oh, please. call me y/n. we’re the same age!’

but he gave you a mysterious smile

‘i dont think bokuto-san would like that’

so the remaining of the time there, bo was practically stuck to you as he followed you everywhere

babie calls it ‘friendship bonding’

when yall were leaving, he was pouting so hard and you gave in to your urges

;)

you pinched his cheeks

‘until next time, bo-senpai’

blew a fuse right then and there

bO-sENPai

yall remained in contact and you even went up to visit him and just hang out

you were lowkey catching feelings

like when he sent you that mirror picture of him and kuroo being sassy in a department store and your heart started beating really really fast

then your palms started sweating as you remembered the feeling of his warm hands on yours when he led you through the busy sidewalk of tokyo

‘siri, am i having a stroke?’

but you were like ‘nuh-uh, must remain pure for my soulmate’

however

if you have those feelings already and it’s towards your soulmate, that gave bo his sight of colors

just sitting there w his team eating yakisoba bun then he looked at akaashi and saw his friend’s blue eyes again

can you tell im a bokuaka simp

in another life flashbacks

n e ways

he was so happy and ecstatic and was about to call you but akaashi was like, ‘wait, i think she might be your soulmate’

the entire team was just like, ‘what’

and bo just sitting there, ‘omg what if’

akaashi, 

grandmaster plan creator

tells bokuto to hold off from telling you until the next time yall see each other which is in the training camp

for story’s sake, training camp finally rolls around

you cannot stop squirming in your seat bc ya finally get to see bo again after so long

kuroo greets yall at the front and hes familiar w you since you hung out w the tokyo squad

‘you have a surprise little chibi’

you were just like, ‘,,,,ok kurat’

meanwhi;e,,

bo was so antsy and he was just like, ‘yey! i get to see her again!’

ngl, bo thought you were really pretty and cute and he thinks he has a crush on you but not like head-over-heels like you were

literally cannot stand still and the team was tired of having to keep him from running so akaashi just let him go

‘but dont run her over, bokuto-san’

he sonic bolts over

nYOOM

he finally sees that tangerine hinata and was searching for your hair color and when he sees you laughing at kuroo’s face, his eyes widened

his heart beat started beating really really fast and everything in his brain and all the words he wanted to say died down

he never really saw your face with colors but he just stares in awe at your beautiful skin color, breathtaking eyes, silky hair, and those plump lips

sweat started to gather at his palms and his feet started moving on its own until he just scoops you in his arms, lifting you off the ground in the process

w you, there was a silence

‘your eyes,,,,, theyre beautiful’

bo just grins at the crack of your voice and tears just wells up in your eyes w a smile

‘bo!’ 

you shouted and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he burrows his head in your neck

‘you’re so beautiful. oh my god, you’re so beautiful’

omg what i would do for bo to say that to me

obvs, the others knew what was happening

dai and suga were already planning on the talk

kuroo just recording the whole thing

‘im falling in love with you. i want to fall in love with you over and over again until i die. i want to feel like this forever. can i?’

just forgets about everyone and being in your own bubble and your own world as bokuto just professes his love for you

‘stupid question, koutaro!’

you giggled and he finally allowed you to stand on your own two feet

‘let me love you for eternity’

cue waterworks from noya and tanaka and konoha

‘but baby, we need to touch up your roots, though.’

‘we got forever, soulmate’

sorry if this was trash

[tommybaholland]

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara 

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him. 

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 

are you alive?? 

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara 

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings. 

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 

“wow, that’s great!” 

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 

“you never let me down!” 

 his smile never let you down. 

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky. 

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 

-

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 

thank you i hope its going well 

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 

was it okay though? 

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 

-

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 

oh well that’s great! 

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 

you had your priorities and suga had his. 

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too 

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume? 

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 

Yeah could you? 

yeah sure!

Yay thanks! 

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara  

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 

you were in love with koshi sugawara. 

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

-

it was the friday before the finals game. 

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 

-

you didn’t get much sleep that night. 

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you. 

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did. 

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

[xiyao-feels]

@hqfeels

Oh man, as someone who loves 3zun, and thinks the mess of intertwining relationships is what makes it interesting, I really should not have read this post - while I think you make some interesting points for a different interpretation of the Nielan relationship, I would also caution against basing your interpretation so closely to the words of what is a translation

e.g. when you discuss LXC not framing things in terms of the sworn brother relationship, you point to the use of “one of his sworn brothers” vs “my” or “our” - chinese doesn’t always use pronouns, so it could very well be the translator having to fill in

I make note of this, not as a nitpick, but bc I think it goes to the heart of the framing of the relationship. Because I think Xiyao is fundamentally framed within the 3zun context - after all, what does JGY call LXC to show they’re close? Er-ge. “2”, not just Ge. NMJ, as Da-ge eternally haunts their relationship. The point of rejection from LXC? You don’t have to call me Er-ge anymore.

So, hey! I appreciate that you said you shouldn't have read my post, but I thought your points were worth addressing, and since you left comments in the notes I figured it was reasonable to respond. If you don't want to read this post, I completely understand, and I've left a bunch of empty lines after this paragraph so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

The point about relying too heavily on exact shades of meaning is definitely a good one. Reading over my post, however, I think there are only three places where I do that; the point identified, later for one point in my discussion of QHJ's teacher, and actually later in the temple when I talk about the "sob" of Liebing as some evidence for LXC's grief for NMJ.

I think it's worth asking: how much does any one of these points contribute to the argument? They're definitely not irrelevant, or I wouldn't have pointed them out, but even so there's only so much wiggle room. No matter what pronouns he uses, for example, LXC only spends one clause of that speech directly on JGY killing NMJ, and it's in the context of, well, a general lack of reaction of personal grief. If—not even if he actually said 'our sworn brother' or 'my sworn brother,' I do think that would be some evidence of personal betrayal, even if it has to be considered in light of the rest of his reactions and non-reactions. But if, in the original text, the Chinese simply didn't specify the pronouns such that "his" is the translator's best guess—I just don't see that as a serious blow to the argument, given the consistency of the pattern as a whole, and I think it's kind of cherry-picking to suggest that it is.

Second, I don't think the pronoun there is ambiguous as is suggested. Consider the phrasing; it's not just "his sworn brother," it's "one of his sworn brothers." Supposing that "his" wasn't present in the original text. "One of my sworn brothers"? "One of our sworn brothers"? Neither really makes sense. Of course, perhaps they might make more sense in Chinese; but that's a little further than "what if the translator had to pick a pronoun."

Now, I think the above points are worth considering on their own merits, which is why I brought them up first. However, I have to say: I did, actually, check the Chinese, for the "one of his sworn brothers" and indeed in multiple places. I didn't mention it in the post for the same reason I usually try not to rely on it in my posts: because I feel like I'd end up setting myself up as some kind of authority when I'm very much not, and because I'm frequently fairly confused XP I have, what, one term of Mandarin, some amount of self-study, and Pleco installed on my phone. But I do often look at the original text and try to work things out, and sometimes I learn stuff that's been lost in translation, and often I can go well, my best guess aligns with the translation. If you want to confirm for yourself, and I encourage you to do so!!, then you can look at the text here: https://www.kunnu.com/modaozushi/. It's in chapter 64.

This is the clause about JGY killing one of his sworn brothers: 他设计杀害了自己的一位义兄 ("that he planned to kill one of his sworn brothers"). The pronoun before "one of his sworn brothers" is 自己, which is a pronoun referring to the subject of the sentence—in this case 他, he, JGY. Now, could I be wrong? Of course! Should anyone rely on uncited statements from a total stranger? No! I strongly encourage people to check this out for themselves, and if someone who actually does speak Chinese wants to offer some guidance I'd be very grateful. But given that it matched the translation from people who do actually speak both Chinese and English, it seemed enough to allow me to rely on the translation.

On that note, actually, I'll admit I missed a trick. "我父亲的一位恩师", one of my father's teachers—"teacher" there is 恩师, which Pleco gives me as "mentor; one's kind and respected master (or teacher)." So it does have more of an emotional edge, and I'll edit the post to acknowledge this. Even so, I think it's worth remembering both that it's one word, he's not adding lots of adjectives about the teacher, and most importantly that the teacher simply isn't lingered on. The effects of his mother killing the teacher, yes, and the contrast between his memories of his mother and the fact that she did kill his father's teacher...but the teacher himself is just not dwelled on.

(For completion's sake, the "sob" of Liebing in ch 107 is "呜咽", which Pleco gives as 1) sob, whimper 2) (of water, wind, stringed instrument, etc) weep; wail; lament; mourn.)

But again, quibbling over phrasing is to some extent a distraction. The important thing is not so much any one incident as the pattern they form, considered together; this is why my original post was so long, because I was trying to consider the overall pattern, and I think the comment about framing is pointing at the same thing. So it's worth asking: are xi//yao framed in terms of the 3//zun relationship?

In fact, I think this divides into two questions. First: does the text frame xi//yao in terms of the 3//zun relationship? And second: do xi//yao understand their relationship fundamentally in terms of the 3//zun relationship? I think you could make more of an argument on the first one, or at least, xi//yao and NMJ are part of their own narrative in the text and often show up together. But in terms of the actual relationship, it's the second question I'm interested in here, and I think the answer is very much no.

First of all, a note on timelines. In MDZS, LXC and JGY knew each other for about seventeen years; they were sworn brothers with NMJ for about four. To put this another way, they were sworn brothers with NMJ for less than a quarter of their overall time together. Moreover, they had significant time without NMJ before they all became sworn brothers, as well as after his death. Now, much of their relationship is revealed to us through Empathy, which necessarily limits us to when NMJ was alive, and moreover shows us only those of their moments together that he happens to see, so it's understandable that these years dominate our view, but I do think it's important to remember.

Okay, now let's consider what we see of their relationship. Given how much of it we see through NMJ's eyes, it's in fact remarkable how much it isn't about him. In the first conversation we see them have together, LXC is proposing that MY stop being NMJ's deputy and go serve his father in Langya (though only after confirming that's still what MY wants, note—and which he knows MY had wanted because MY literally told him!). When MY says he does want it but he owes NMJ, LXC says he thinks NMJ will understand but volunteers to talk with NMJ himself if he doesn't. Neither of them have told NMJ they know each other; after NMJ comes in, when he seeks to find out how they do, asking LXC and then ordering MY to speak after LXC refuses, they don't tell him. I'm not saying either of them are unhappy with NMJ here—quite the contrary!—but there's no sign they see the other, or their relationship with each other, fundamentally in terms of him. (For a close reading of the scene, as ever, I recommend confusion-and-more's post here.)

Furthermore, in MDZS, after MY flees from NMJ in Langya and becomes a spy, he starts sending LXC letters with information, and LXC works out who it is. As with pretty much everything we see about them, this suggests a quite astonishing intimacy—that MY was able to trust that LXC would work it out, and that LXC did. Not only did NMJ not know who the spy was, in MDZS he didn't know there was a spy at all—LXC concealed it from him entirely. Now, this is obviously very solid practice for spies, but again—you have xiyao together, and NMJ apart. (I'll also note that in MDZS LXC is exchanging blows with NMJ sword to saber until the very end of the post-Sun Palace confrontation, even after MY steps forward; he definitely does not seem to think that NMJ has any sort of right, here.)

At the Phoenix Mountain Hunt, we see them together but, again, not with NMJ, and there's no suggestion that LXC had socialized with him particularly—JGY is aware of how much prey he's taken, but of course JGY is running the hunt. Then when they both go off at the end of the scene to expand the hunting grounds, LXC asks LWJ if he'd like to help, but there's zero suggestion that they're going to seek out NMJ, even though he's part of the reason JGY needs to expand the hunting grounds.

In chapter 73, LXC and JGY are talking after the conference. Then NMJ comes over and comments disapprovingly about JGY. Again, LXC doesn't actually speak a single word after NMJ joins them. This... really does not suggest perceiving him and JGY as fundamentally part of that triad, imho.

The guqin scene: LXC and JGY are very much focused on each other. Only LXC talks with NMJ at all, and only once, briefly, answering his objection. NMJ is described as looking up before his objection, which suggests to me that he/wasn't/ looking up before. Meanwhile LXC and JGY are complimenting each other's playing, LXC is offering to teach him exclusive teachings, and JGY is telling LXC about his mother. You could reasonably say LXC teaching JGY the Song of Clarity is or is partly about NMJ—his desire again for them to reconcile—but in their interactions they are focused on each other to an almost absurd extent, and not NMJ.

The discussion conference mentioned in chapter 30? We're told NMJ wasn't originally planning to go; it seems likely that we would have been told if the same was true of LXC, given that LWJ is the one telling us about it. So, again, we have JGY and LXC together, and NMJ only coming in for outside reasons.

At the beginning of the stairs conflict, when NMJ comes in and calls JGY out, we see that JGY and LXC are discussing something, with "notes of all colours" on the desk before them. WWX is later going to realize they're discussing the watchtowers, which even now, well before he's Jin-zongzhu, JGY is trying to convince his father to build; there's no sign, on the other hand, that NMJ even knows what they're working on.

Their last interaction before NMJ's death /is/ about NMJ, with JGY very upset and LXC defending the idea that NMJ hasn't rejected JGY completely. But again this doesn't suggest that they view their relationship fundamentally in terms of their relationship with NMJ, and as we've seen it's not what they're usually talking about.

I talk here about two patterns of 3//zun interaction in the Empathy chapters: broadly, MY/JGY and LXC talking privately and NMJ coming and interrupting them, and NMJ attacking MY/JGY, and LXC intervening.

Looking over their interactions, the text does not, to me, suggest that LXC and JGYview their relationship fundamentally in terms of NMJ or of 3//zun.

And again—LXC doesn't bring up NMJ in the temple, and he only reacts to NMJ-as-NMJ three brief times.

Now, it is of course true that JGY calls LXC er-ge as a sign of closeness, and that he's 'er-ge' because NMJ is the first brother. However, a few points.

First, I would argue that it's a recurring theme in MDZS (and /especially/ for JGY) that the form of a relationship doesn't necessarily match what the relationship actually is; the form, therefore, might be an interesting point to consider, but it must be considered in light of the evidence we have about their actual relationship.

Second, JGY calls LXC er-ge a full thirteen times in the temple chapters. Once in chapter 99, when he's responding to LXC about JL; twice in chapter 100, discussing NHS; in chapter 105, three times leading up to his explanation of the letter; six full times when answering LXC's questions in chapter 106; and then once in chapter 108 when he is literally asking LXC for protection from NMJ's fierce corpse.

Once and only once, on the last er-ge in chapter 105, does LXC respond to being called er-ge, though we're told he did so earlier off-page. And—well, look at the paragraph:

His tone was more than earnest. Ever since he captured Lan XiChen, he’d indeed been treating him with respect. At this point, Lan XiChen wasn’t able to turn against him yet. He could only sigh, “Sect Leader Jin, I have already said, when you went your own way to scheme such havoc at Burial Mound, that there was no longer the need to call me ‘Brother.’”

This is not only not framed as an essential rejection, it's framed as explicitly /not/ that: "Lan XiChen wasn't able to turn against him yet." And again, as I pointed out in my post, we're explicitly given a reason for it that has absolutely nothing to do with NMJ! 'Don't call me er-ge because you killed da-ge' would be very natural; the fact that it's explicitly not about that suggests strongly to me that they simply don't think of 'er-ge' in terms of its relation to NMJ, despite the form.

[benjiwyatt]

do you have any ben/leslie headcanons! i love your posts abt them so much it's great to see someone get as emotional abt them as i am asjdkajhjd

i got this message and i was like "god, i dont really know if i have any headcanons" and then i opened my notes app and started typing and didn't stop for over an hour

i'm literally putting this under a break and organizing it into categories bc it's absurdly long

here it is

A COLLECTION OF BEN AND LESLIE HEADCANONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP/S3

basically canon but leslie definitely had a crush on a young benji wyatt and followed the story religiously for the first couple months before she started college

ben is only slightly jealous leslie had ann go out with chris to try and get more money for the parks budget rather than leslie asking him out with the same goal. he knows it’s insane, unethical, and illogical but he’s still excited that he gets to spend the night with her on a date plus two other people even if it is to accuse her of bribery.

ann realizes early on that leslie was attracted to ben and teases her mercilessly about it. she thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that leslie wants to make out with "mean ben.” after april and andy’s wedding, she realizes it's more than just attraction and she lays off.

before ben can even think rationally about what he’s doing, he’s in line at bed, bath, and beyond with a crock pot in his arms, calling stephanie to ask her to send him their family’s chicken soup recipe

ann knew ben liked her from the beginning and was totally positive when she ran into him in the hospital asking for leslie’s room number while holding jj’s waffles and a tub of homemade soup.

ben realizes he’s falling in love with leslie when he is at city hall with her until 3am one night trying to budget for the amount of cotton candy machines she wants for the harvest festival. in his exhaustion, he naively believes her when she tells him she’ll go home in a bit so he leaves. he never gets a text from saying she made it home so he stops at jj’s the next morning and brings a takeout container of waffles and a coffee complete with an outlandish amount of whipped cream and sugar to the parks department. he finds her asleep in the conference room. he starts trying to convince sweetums to donate more cotton candy machines that afternoon.

chris had to have known ben liked leslie. he’s not an idiot. in the deleted scene from their wedding, they read out emails from their “tumultuous first week in pawnee” and chris writes to ben saying, “why are you so focused on leslie knope?” ben replies saying, “i’m not. whatever. shut up.” there’s no way chris is this oblivious. ben takes her out for a beer. ben pays out of pocket for a children’s performer to help her out. ben shows up on chris and ann’s date just because he thinks leslie might be there. chris can’t be this dumb. but when they take the city manager jobs in pawnee, he knows it can’t happen so he cuts ben off when he starts to ask about dating someone in city hall. he cracks down on the rule in front of leslie after the tom incident to hammer it in. he starts setting ben up on a bunch of dates to try and head it off. he sends them to indianapolis for the little league pitch because, realistically, he knows they’re the best bet for success but makes sure to interrupt their dinner and invites them to his apartment to continue to run interference the rest of the night. after their fights in 4.06-4.08, he hopes he won’t have to worry anymore. the next work day, they come into his office looking nervous and happy and he knows he’s about to lose the partner and best friend that’s been by his side for the past decade.

april and andy knew they were secretly dating. it went unspoken aside from a few implicit teasing remarks from april and a few suggestive attempted high fives from andy but leslie assured ben they wouldn’t tell anyone despite their ostensible behavior.

BREAK UP

ben had commissioned the li’l sebastian plush for leslie after he had died but the toy shop didn’t finish it until after they broke up. he felt bad not going to pick it up so he did despite not being able to give it to her. he kept it for all those months and sometimes thought about getting rid of it but could never bring himself to do it.

when leslie made personalized copies her books for her friends with individualized annotations and notes in the bylines, she had two copies for ben. there was one that she gave him during their breakup that was very simplified and watered down where the note basically just said “i’m really glad you decided to stay in pawnee.” then there was a second copy that she kept while they were split up that was totally covered in notes and random thoughts she couldn’t say during their time apart. she gives him that copy when they get back together and it may or may not be the best gift he’s ever received.

april was much less abrasive with them during the break up because she’s a sweetheart and wants her friends to be happy.

the first time leslie admitted she was in love with him was during a long night of drinking and crying at ann’s house

ben craved the taste of sugar during their breakup because he got used to tasting the sweetness when he kissed her

ben found himself unable to sleep at night without the sound of leslie talking in her sleep to comfort him

april texted leslie the night of the halloween party to let her know that ben and andy were at the hospital after a fight and everything was fine and she didn’t need to worry. leslie was mad at andy for a few days after and he couldn’t figure out why.

the only photo in ben’s bedroom was of himself, leslie, and li’l sebastian at the harvest festival. if he got caught staring at it and crying, he would just say he missed li’l sebastian so much.

april and andy started having star wars and star trek movie nights to try and cheer ben up

DOMESTIC

ben and leslie got in the habit of having weekly game nights with april and andy during the campaign since they were all basically living together. it became a tradition that kept going as often as they could make it happen, even after the kids were born. they try to have game night at least once a month. april pretends to hate it.

one of my absolute favorite ideas about them is that she sleeps much better when he’s around to keep her grounded. after they get together for good, she starts getting closer to 5 hours of sleep a night.

another favorite involving leslie’s sleeping: ben is typically accustomed to tuning out incoherent nonsense that she babbles in her sleep but she also has some of her best ideas when she’s not busy trying to focus on a million different things. when he hears her coming up with legitimately good ideas or making speeches or having solid debate arguments, he takes out the notebook he keeps in his nightstand to record her thoughts and quotes. he revisits and revises the notes to strengthen her statements and make them more professional and less rambling but makes sure to keep her distinct voice apparent in them.

ben prefers pancakes to waffles but he will go to the grave with that secret

this isn’t a headcanon because nbc posted it but one of ben’s holidays on leslie’s calendar is watch synchronization day which is the day they celebrate syncing their watches to, as leslie puts it, “always be in harmony, like our hearts” which is just one of the sweetest fucking things in the world

leslie makes ben read and watch all the harry potters because he didn’t get into them when he first tried. ben is much more of a success than ann. she buys him a ravenclaw scarf for christmas.

their first fight as a couple was a historical debate gone awry

since ben clearly has some affinity for custom stuffed animals, he has some made for the triplets.

they’re both dog people but they adopt a cat because sonia and stephen beg for one and it does fit their busy lifestyle much better. they love the cat. they get a dog when the kids are older and life is slightly less hectic.

they both love striped shirts and sweaters so much that they have to make a conscious effort to avoid wearing them on the same day and matching

leslie makes sweets and bakes desserts while ben typically handles cooking the actual meals

BASED ON EPISODES, QUOTES, AND THROWAWAY LINES

i always loved the ann/ben dynamic in bus tour because there’s been such an obvious shift in ann’s attitude towards him in this episode. maybe it’s because she and tom just broke up and she just turned chris down again and she’s frustrated with relationships but i think it’s her realizing ben isn’t going anywhere. since the campaign is winding down, she realizes that things aren’t gonna go back to the way they were because ben is now part of this and he’s clearly in it for the long haul. ann’s definitely jealous that ben is just as important to leslie as she is and she now knows she’s never gonna get that full attention back. ann sits ben down to have a real “don’t you dare hurt her” speech after this ep and before win, lose, or draw. this is when he tells ann he wants to marry her.

they discover they both adore the princess bride after ben says “as you wish” to her one night and after that it becomes their movie.

the wildflower mural becomes a thing between them when ben says he considered that to be their first date, prompting leslie to tell him what the mural means to her.

ben puts banjo boogie bonanza on one of the mix cds he gives leslie at the beginning of their relationship

harrison ford movie nights start after they both reveal they had a crush on him as a kid. ben was obsessed with han solo and leslie was into indiana jones’ whole history teacher vibe.

they basically hate each other’s taste in music and stop exchanging mix cds once that becomes apparent that they aren’t gonna find much common ground. they both love tom petty, al green, and etta james and music in that vein though.

ben makes leslie watch game of thrones just to try to explain why he’s called her khaleesi. she gets into it, not so much because of the show itself, but because of how passionate her boyfriend is about it.

they start learning basic french during the s4 campaign because they think it will be useful to have a basic multilingual vocabulary for their political careers and because leslie confesses she has always dreamed of seeing paris. they study spanish next.

ben makes leslie watch the star wars prequels just so he can complain to her during them. he doesn’t think she’s paying attention and then he reads about midichlorians in the paper.

ann is also in on ben’s plan to sneak vegetables into leslie’s waffles.

they will sometimes jokingly refer to themselves as the “dream team” or “dynamic duo” because, despite chris’s absurdity, it’s true

i’m open to literally any origin of this because no matter what it’s perfect but i like to think that “i love you and i like you” started at some point in season 4 when, at some point, leslie went “i like you” and ben replied “you like me?” “mhm” “hm just like me?” “yes i like you. i love you and i like you. both.” “mmm i love you and i like you too”

i barely even register some of these things as headcanons since they just live so solidly in my brain

this might be my favorite ask ever thank you for loving benslie enough to ask me this and be genuinely interested

if anyone read all of this, i love you

[444piscesprincess]

childhood friends to lovers/growing up together sterek fic reclist

uhh this kinda got a lil angsty but i recommend you pick a growing up together fic and listen to this song i promise you will not regret it 

https://open.spotify.com/track/5Dz8nrwQlPLE68WaTEIqY5?si=aogjMc1aToSALmAlfQOR7A 

anyways as usual check tags please!!

(click on the title for the fic)

you know you're on my mind

bibliosexual

Summary:

If there’s one thing Derek’s learned in life, it’s that crushing on someone who lives on an entire other fucking continent is probably a bad idea.

(hs!au + texting!au + childhood friends to lovers the ULTIMATE fluff fic)

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)   (series)

yodasyoyo

Summary:

Stiles is six years old when he first hears Derek's voice in his head.

Or what happens if you have a soulmate bond, in a universe where soulmate bonds don't exist?

Up Down Lock Unlock

isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

Summary:

“Why are you going into grandma Ito’s apartment?” he asked.

Derek turned to him, key sliding into the lock. “What do you mean?” He tried to turn it, but the key wasn’t budging. Maybe the lock was sticking again, it’d been doing that the past few days.

Stiles was staring at him like Derek was stupid.

Derek did not appreciate sass from a ten year old.

“That’s grandma Ito’s place.”

“No,” Derek said calmly, pulling the key out and then shoving it back in, wiggling it a little when it continued to refuse to unlock the door. “This is my place.”

“I think you’re on the wrong floor then, because that apartment belongs to grandma Ito.”

(time travel counts as childhood friends right?)

the difference between going back and going home

thepsychicclam

Summary:

Stiles and Derek were inseparable growing up, but then college, jobs, and life happened. When Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills a decade later, he doesn't expect to reconnect with Derek, and he sure doesn't expect to fall in love with him.

It's Such a Gas When You Bring Up the Past

orphan_account

Summary:

Stiles finds a box of old photo albums that dredge up the sweet, the funny, the adorable, and the mildly heartwrenching parts of his and Derek's past.

(mainly a friends fic but its too cute to not include)

It's Always Been You

charlesdk

Summary:

Stiles' love life was practically non-existing, always had been. He was always terrible at picking up clues when people hit on him (it had happened, Erica had been witness to it and had been the one to let him know it was happening in the first place) because he never expected anyone to do so.

He wasn't the most desirable guy around, he knew that. He was loud, extremely nerdy, never knew when to stop talking, not exactly much of a looker if you asked him, the list was endless.

Point was, he never did know when someone was flirting with him. Which was probably how he ended up in the fight that would change his life for the better.

Lead You Home Again

GotTheSilver

Summary:

The first time Derek meets Stiles, the kid’s brown eyes are wide, and he’s staring up at him with a mischievous grin as he tugs at the arm of Derek’s first ever Batman figure like he’s trying to separate it from Batman’s body.

An alternate take on Teen Wolf, wherein Stiles and Derek are childhood friends, and things unfold from there.

Kingdom By The Sea

kilaem

Summary:

Lydia grabs his arm and pulls him down in the seat next to her. “When the hell did you find time to bag a guy like Hale?”

“We’re friends,” Stiles feels his face heat up, and then the team are running out and Derek sees him and smiles. His blush gets worse.

“Oh really?”

“Our moms were friends, okay? We’ve been in diapers together.”

“I thought you two hated each other.”

Those That Bump In The Night

bleep0bleep

Summary:

A boy’s head appears upside down, hanging off the bed. “Is anyone there?” he calls out curiously, looking right at Derek’s eyes. Caught, then. The protocol for being deliberately seen by a child is just to look as strange and fearsome as possible. No one would believe them, anyways. But Derek is tired, and he’s been running and scared, and now he just kind of flickers, curling out a tendril of dark smoke, hoping that he’s a little bit scary. No such luck. The boy’s eyes widen. “Oooh, are you the bogeyman?” “Bogeyperson,” Derek says, before he can help himself.

~

When Stiles was a boy, he had an imaginary friend named Derek. Ten years later, Derek comes back, and is very, very real.

Five Times Derek and Stiles Kissed For Practice (And One Time They Didn't)

mikkimouse

Summary:

In which Derek and Stiles grow up together and practice kissing, roughly in that order.

216 + 1: Words To Say Instead of I Love You

briggs

Summary:

Derek and Stiles have been best friends for fourteen years. They have their differences, sure, but it's never been a question for them. Their friendship has been the most solid thing in their lives -- until suddenly it isn't anymore.

Funny how just a few choice words can throw fourteen years of friendship off-balance.

OR

a collection of "Bro, That's Gay" one-shots that actually ended up turning into a concrete storyline.

hope is the thing with feathers (part of a series)

ShanaStoryteller

Summary:

Stiles is ten when he saves the Hales from their burning home and Derek from a wolfsbane bullet, and this establishes a pattern that seem to continue indefinitely.

"Then he's facing a burning home, and he wraps the hood of his sweatshirt around his mouth before he pushes the door open and steps inside. There's Mr. Hale asleep - he hopes asleep - on the couch, next to - Stiles thinks that's his brother but there are so many Hales, who can keep track. He rushes over and starts shaking him, can see the rise and fall of the man's chest so he knows he's alive, but he's not waking up. He shoves away his hood so he can shout, "Mr. Hale! You have to get up, there's a fire! Mr. Hale, get up!" Nothing, he's not even twitching, both of them taking in deep even breaths like they're having the most peaceful of rests, and Stiles is going to cry. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" There's a moment, where all Stiles can hear is the blood rushing in his ears and not the roar of the flames or the creak of wood, then with a violent, silent pop it's all back and both of the men are gasping awake, eyes open and jumping to their feet. "

(one of my favourite fics like EVER)

it came from the trees

whatshouldntbe

Summary:

“Don’t worry, Scott caught me up on everything,” Kira assures with a bubbly smile via video-chat. “You and Derek, huh? I probably should have seen that coming. I always thought it might be Cora, but Derek was the one that looked at you how I used to look at you.”

Stiles goes a little pink. “It’s still kinda new but, yeah. I really like him. He’s...” Beautiful. Patient. Smart. Painfully honest. Sweet.“...a total dork.”

Kira laughs and laughs. When she gets herself together, she replies, “Yeah, those little hearts and stars in your eyes definitely say different."

or

Stiles moves from the shiny, fast-paced lifestyle of Los Angeles to the foggy, sleepy town of Beacon Hills so his dad can become the new sheriff. Newly fifteen, he does his best to finish out his freshman year of high school (by staying under the radar) when he suddenly becomes the Beyoncé of the Supernatural community. And, without much prompting on his part, he ends up catching the eye of one of the most prominent Werewolf families in all of North America. It literally all starts with a stuffed animal(s).

(oh god this fic is the literal best even though its abandoned it ends at okay-ish place. this is one of the best hale family characterisations ive ever read. if you squint it can be a childhood friends to lovers fic but im including it anyway bc its amazing)

Promises aren't Meant to be Broken

paradis

Summary:

“Thanks for saving me,” Stiles blurts out, staring up at Laura, wide eyed.

Laura grins. “I like you,” she says, “we’ll be friends.”

(more laura and stiles besties centric but totally worth a read)

The Things We See

MelodramaticSalad

Summary:

Stiles grew up in the life of knowing that there was always more to life than what others saw with a first glance. Even as a child he saw things that no one else seemed to and always had a fascination with the unusual.

Some considered him an unusual child, but Claudia welcomed every single quirk her son displayed. His mother had a few special talents of her own and thrilled her to see it in her son as well. She'd raised Stiles to always keep his mind open and as grew and started to display his powers, she began to teach him how to use them. She even taught Stiles about werewolves at a young age, his infatuation with them growing once he had learned the truth about her closest friend.

Stiles spent nearly every possible moment that he could roaming the Hale house, following after the middle child most of the time. Derek was three years older than Stiles, but the bond they developed with each other was something their mothers considered out of a story book. Like Derek, Stiles was sensitive to his emotions, but unlike Derek, Stiles didn't need a scent to figure it out. He could feel it.

take me back

matildajones

Summary:

“I dare you to kiss me,” Stiles taunts, and he’s not expecting the way Derek says a naughty word under his breath and then leans forward.

Stiles yelps. He just dodges Derek’s mouth before he’s laughing wildly and running through the trees, calling out a series of ew ew ew as Derek chases him back home.

[girls-are-very-pretty]

I’m looking for questionable advice about what to do about my dad trying to talk to me again. Basically...he was abusive and he sucked and I was the favorite so he was nice to be and I clung onto his every word and segregated me from my siblings which is why my sibling relationship now is literal garbage. He got ditched like 7 years ago and I haven’t seen him since he moved to iowa 2 (3?) years ago when I pretty much said “hey I became a decent person despite the crippling anxiety and depression you left me with” as a decent sized fuck you. This year (last year technically ig - dec 28th) I turned 18 and the court can’t prevent him from talking to me anymore so he sent me a letter saying he wants to be part of my life and to text him if I feel comfortable or send a letter or whatever. 

Now part of me wants to talk to him, because I’ve seen what just being pissed at him and blaming him for everything did to my sister (she’s a wreck with no motivation and only misery and hatred), and because fundamentally while manipulative and kinda shitty to me, he was almost a halfway decent person to me like he never physically hurt me or anything and comforted me when I kinda needed it. ALSO he’s the reason I got into astronomy which is actually a pretty big part of my life right now. However I don’t want to seem like I’m picking a side between him and my mom especially because my brother is already going out there this summer for a month which is crushing my mother. And I don’t want to be rejected because from my knowledge of him from my mom he is like your classic garbage redneck “women don’t deserve education” ��men are supreme” “no gays” etc, and I really really don’t want to either live a lie and pretend to be someone else so he’ll like me, or come out first thing and have him say something like “I love you despite your gayness” or “well thats a dealbreaker” or anything like that because it would really really hurt. However the support system I have now is halfway decent so I don’t think it would be the worst thing to do it now versus like if I’m at college many miles away with no family. 

So if you have any comments or advice on what I should do because I’ve just been having the same circular arguments going on in my head and I can’t ask anyone in my family bc I don’t want to start a war, please tell me your questionable advice or comments, I really appreciate it, we will go back to our irregularly scheduled wlw content, later this evening 

[redxblueihateloveyou]

You know it's always really funny to me when mhs say that had it not been for swimming Haru and Rin would've never become friends bc I'm like, that's how relationships work???? You initially connect bc of something you have in common and go from there???? In that case you can also apply it to mh bc if Haru and Makoto had not been neighbors since they were young they probably would've never become friends either, but nobody wants to mention that bc then their argument crumbles lol

Anyways, your blog is literally the best and your rh (and general) takes are always so nice to read

I'm... same, I just do not understand what’s new about this? Like my mom and dad met while they were both working at school, if I started talking with a guy cause he told me that he liked my chibi Akashi bag and anime, is this not allowed? This in no way means that that’s all we like about each other or smth, this means this one thing brought us together.

This is the reason why I dislike mh fans so much. Because the majority of them instead of posting some canon facts and truthful arguments, they either twist some words into something unrecognizable, either try to change a rh moment into mh. I just always thought ppl ship things for what they are, not what they are not...

And the main problem in this happening and the error in their equation is Haru. Cause they’re trying so hard to sew him into that but with everything he says and do he constantly falls off and they end up with mako-haha. It’s like they say that Makoto is the reason that Haru walks into his future, which is hilarious tbh, and the next movie airs and what do you know Haru is yelling at Rin’s face how “he only walks towards the future and wants it bc of him”, they say that s2 relay teams are what they truly want which everyone knows ain’t true and boom drama airs and Haru and Rin are talking how it’s not the same if they’re not together on the team. They air all the birthday stories and oh no, Rin is special again. I remember how they were running around after that frfr! episode, where Rin tries to make Haru laugh and Makoto says he actually already heard it before and turns out it was kid Haru’s evil laugh in his sleep at school. Like what is so special about that? And how is this mh related? Haru was cutely laughing watching Rin sleep and just reading his text.. that’s yeah, that’s the reason to fuss.

Their problem is always Haru, he never fits their mh plan like ever. But do they listen to him? No. Because we have a moment IN THE ANIME, where Haru says “RIN, I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, TOO.” meaning he wants to be as brave/daring/passionate, etc. cause Rin represents freedom for him. Okay, I’d get why some needed me to post an arguments list for “Rin doesn’t like Haru only for his swimming”, which is still hilarious to me, but okay, he does have a kink in books about Haru moving in the water and goes about it for several pages, but with Haru this is actually not the case. 

I don’t know if anyone noticed it, but swimming is not what attracts Haru the most about Rin and never was. It’s his character and state of mind and the way he makes him feel aka free. It doesn’t matter what they do, like whether they eat their rolls or draw new years fortunes. Haru said his whole body is on fire just when he looks at Rin and he doesn’t even notice how he starts smiling when Rin talks to him. It’s just the way he makes him feel. And swimming has nothing to do with that. Sorry, guys lmao.

Did they seriously just erase this moment, when Rin writes how he wants swim as fast as Haru in his letter, but Haru looks at the sky and he has this kaleidoscope of Rin’s pic in his mind and what he says next is "Rin, I want to be like you, too.” 

And he means what he says. It’s not about the swimming truly, he admires the fact that Rin follows his dreams with such passionate determination. Mind the fact that moments of Rin that flash before his eyes in this moment a) when Rin openly gushes about Haru’s swimming in front of everyone; b) when he yells in front of the whole class that if he wants a relay with Haru, he will bloody get it; c) his swimming; d) when he tells Haru that he’s a sight he never saw before he’s gonna show him the sight he’s never seen before. It’s about how what Rin wants, Rin fights for until he gets it. Haru is in love with his passion, always was, always will be.

Haru doesn’t want to “swim like Rin” although they did compliment each other by saying “I find your strength amazing” “but I find your stamina amazing”, and Haru always drools about the power behind Rin’s strokes, but Haru swims in his own beautiful way. And while he adores the way Rin swims, that’s still not his favorite thing about Rin and never was. Every time he talks about Rin it’s always about his personality and surprisingly... it’s rarely about swimming. When he thinks about Rin it’s always stuff like... how he is so colorful and intense and full of life and passionate about his dreams and how he stands out among everyone else to him, not about his swimming skills. 

So this argument is dumb AF tbh. I’m like.. yeah, and Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying for his demonic cultivation skills. Not because of his strong character, daring heart and his incredible ability to tick him off and light his cold ass on fire.

P.S. Seriously tho this is the first shipping base I see who just always for some reason does this stupid thing with finding a crumb and actively trying to make it into a bread but then realise it’s realistically impossible so they just replace it with a plastic one and pretend it’s real. This in fact makes your ship ridiculous. You can’t try to push the line that Rin is abusive (thats still lol) and how Makoto is better for Haru, since Rin did everything to make Haru reach his dream and made him happy and he’s the only one who can help Haru, when he feels down like in s2 and then with Albert and etc. Makoto can’t. It’s the truth, just let it go. I know there are not much positives sides in mh relationships to be honest in my opinion, but there are still some (?). Why not base your arguments on truth? Like at least it’s gonna be mh, not some imaginary thing. Either love mh for mh or don’t. Like yeah, Haru doesn’t resiprocate, but maybe one-sided stuff is your kink, ok, explore this, fine, but don’t try to make Haru into somebody else. Then it’s not your ship anymore.

It’s just funny to me like that Rin here writes poems about Haru and openly flirts with him in restaurants and plans their future together and I don’t even need to exagerate anything, it’s just how it really is and meanwhile mh is like “remember how 7 years ago Utsumi said that Rin and Haru wouldn’t be friends if it wasn’t for swimming, so mh is the shit”.. like I’m sorry, but I think I’m allowed to laugh at this. Sometimes you just have to let it go, seriously. Or at least like idk think before you post (and I know that it has like 3 retweets and no one cares, but still 3 ppl agreed and it reached me somehow, so..). My policy is when I create posts about my ships is validation. Like my last Rinharu facts youtube post got 5K likes, I didn’t post my thoughts, just their moments and at the end I specifically said “I have links/translations to all of this, so name thing you want to read, I’ll link you” and I linked everyone whatever they wanted. 

This is how you tell ppl a story of why you love this ship and make them fall in love with it, too. Not by making up lies about what’s not there and twisting someone’s words (like this person wrote “thats what she really meant *adds complete nonsense*). And I know mh do not have any of this stuff that rh have, but if you really ship mh, find something real and go from there. Seriously, it’s better if you have smth small, but real, than a huge lie.

Also I still think ship is about two people, not just one. Why mh don’t want to listen to anything Haru says or wants like at all? That’s just sad. 

P.P.S. Thanks for liking my blog, this makes me so happy <3<3<3

[skiller0dani]

Heart of Stone | Timothee Chalamet

M A S T E R L I S T

smut requests info wanna be on a Timmy taglist? click here

hey guys. so I’m really depressed right now and everything I try to write is shit. so if you want something good it’ll have to be depressing bc that’s the mood I’m in. sad shit is all I’m good at. ahahaha I am useless. just ignore that. hope you enjoy. thank you for all the love, I appreciate all your lil angel baby faces. xx (I listened to ‘diamond heart’ by alan walker before I wrote this. just some inspo) 

there’s something broken in me. anyone relate? 

He called so many times he was worried you were going to block him. 

Tim knew he needed to give you space but he didn’t know how to do that. You’ve been by his side for so long he’s used to calling you about everything. Most of the time he doesn’t even realize he’s calling you until he hears your voicemail. ‘Hey it’s Y/N, uh call me back! If you want, or don’t I don’t care either way you can do what you want. I’m not the boss of yo-’ He always smiles when he hears your rambling voicemail, the beep eventually cutting you off. For the life of him he doesn’t understand why you never changed it but he’s happy you didn’t. It’s so you. 

Nothing tasted the same, if that makes sense. 

Timothee used to love orange juice first thing in the morning, but now it tasted too sour. He didn’t know if orange juice had changed or if it was him that changed. It was hard to tell anymore. Nothing fit together the same way it used to, like all the pieces to his puzzle didn’t go together. It all felt jumbled, he never thought this would happen. But according to you it wasn’t anything he’d done wrong, it was you that needed to ‘explore emotional experiences’ with someone else. Tim knew what that meant really though. It meant you started having feelings for someone else and wanted to pursue it. A really fancy way of saying she emotionally cheated on him. At least that’s how Tim sees it. You pulled out of the relationship emotionally and began to invest your heart in somebody else. How fucked up is that? Tim tried not to be angry but how could he not be? His heart has been crushed in his chest and he was here, alone, in the apartment you picked to put all his pieces back together again. As if that was even possible. 

His desk chair was too twirly. It spun too much. That’s what started this whole fiasco Tim found himself in. His desk chair spun too much. He had gotten a knife to try and pry the chair apart to tighten it when the knife slipped and sliced his hand open. This kind of crap never happened when you were around. You always stopped him whenever he reached for the knife, “Wait, what’s the knife for?” Tim can hear your worried little voice in his head, except this time he decided to promptly ignore it. So he’d cleaned the cut, and instead of getting stitched he opted to superglue it shut and slap a bandage on it. Even pain felt different. Were you a life dampener? Did your love shield him from dealing with crap like this? 

Tim leaned his head back against the bathroom wall, his throbbing hand resting in his lap. It was concerning how numb he felt to everything because at first Tim was pissed. He trashed your shared bedroom and smashed nearly all of your dishes. He was currently eating on paper towels until the replacements could be shipped. Normally Tim would have bought more from the store but you know- fucking COVID. He rubbed a hand down his face as the tears built behind his eyes again. Who was better than him? Who stole your heart right from him? Who on Earth could have caught her damn attention? Why did this happen? Tim had a hundred questions and no answers, but he didn’t know if knowing the answers would help. 

His friends called, they texted. They even tried to stop by. He didn’t answer his phone, or the door. There was no way he would ever feel comfortable talking about this with anybody- not even Dr. Phil. Even Jimmy Fallen reached out attempting to make some sort of contact with Timothee. But Tim for the life of him could not understand why nobody understood that he didn’t want to talk. He wasn’t expecting you to abandon him, he loves you. He wished he didn’t. Tim wishes he could wake up and for this to be some sort of extremely vivid nightmare. That he could wake up and pull you into his arms with a deep sigh, just inhaling your scent and pressing kisses to your bare skin. Thumping his head back against the counter, Tim squeezes his eyes shut as he feels tingles running south. 

He’s always had you here to help him take care of his sexual needs, he doesn’t even know how to deal with his hard ons without you. He curls his fists against his sides when he remembers you on your knees in this very bathroom, swallowing his cock all the way down your throat. Tim can still see you in front of him, your eyes locked on his. Standing from the bathroom tiles Tim pushes out of the small room, needing to get some air. There are tears in his eyes again as he paces the living room. He quickly reaches for his phone but instead of landing on your contact he keeps scrolling to a contact he had saved in his phone a few days ago when he was out at a bar. Tapping his fingers along his phone nervously he prayed to God she would answer. 

“Hello?” Her voice was groggy on the other side and in any other circumstance Tim would feel guilty for waking her. Not this time. “I need you.” His voice was nearly a whine as he gasped into the phone, his cock straining against his jeans. He was hard for you not for some girl he met at a bar but goddammit he needed to get off, and you left him. 

It wasn’t too long before whatever her name was arrived and as soon as Tim opened the door he was pulling her against his lips. “Not to be rude or anything,” Tim began as her lips chased his in a desperate and fast kiss, her hands grabbed at his curls to tug gently. “But I just need someone to fuck.” He gasps against her lips as her right hand slides down his body. She nods as her lips find his neck, “I know.” She agrees and as soon as she does Tim’s hands are hauling her legs up and around his waist. She ground against his hard cock, and he groans softly. “Sorry but what the fuck is your name?” Tim asks and she laughs against his mouth as he walks them to the couch. She pulls back from him, her blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. She’s not nearly as pretty as you, but she’ll do. “Ashley.” She smiles but in all honesty Tim doesn’t really care. He just doesn’t want to call her ‘whatever her name is’ in his head anymore. 

Tim throws her back against the couch, her pupils dilated as he leans over her to pull her shirt up and over her head. He trails wet kisses down her body until he’s tugging her yoga pants down her legs. “Right to the point huh?” Ashley pants, lifting her hips to help Tim remove her pants. He doesn’t bother answering her as he literally tears her thong off. He doesn’t feel like doing the whole foreplay thing, he doesn’t want to ‘enjoy’ this. He wants to get off. 

Tim licks a line through her folds to ensure she’s wet as he hurriedly pushes his jeans down. Ashley hands him a condom, which he quickly takes before tearing it open. “Fuck you’re big.” Ashley muses as she spreads her thighs, watching as he rolls the ‘a little too small’ condom down his shaft. He presses his head into her, and when Timothee sinks his cock inside her all the way. He feels like a goddamn animal. 

Tim never was a smoker but he did it occasionally for movies. Tonight seemed like as good a night as any to give it a try. He leaned over the balcony of the apartment, overlooking New York. Ashley was asleep on the couch and he really should make her leave but he doesn’t feel like waking her up. Jeans hang low on his hips and he couldn’t be bothered to put his shirt back on. He feels like a bad person, for having sex with Ashley. It’s not his fault you left him. A cigarette hangs from his lips and for once the ambiance of the busy city soothes the storm brewing in Timothee’s head. He’s not used to you not being here, he doesn’t want some random girl named Ashley on the couch. He wants you on the couch. This fucking cigarette is doing nothing for him, why do people smoke anyway? In every damn movie you always see someone smoking after sex, why? What’s the point? 

Tim flicks the cigarette over the balcony with a shake of his head before he hears quick and desperate pounding on the front door. He turns to answer it, seeing Ashley having been jolted awake with a blanket pressed to her bare chest. Without looking Tim swings the door open and the sight before him nearly makes his eyes bulge out of his head. There you are stood, with your bags, at his door. Your eyes flicker to the girl on the couch, and there’s an unreadable expression on your face. “May I come in?” You ask politely, as though the two of you were briefly acquainted strangers. He sucks in a sharp breath before opening the door wider for you, seeing Ashley already pulling her clothes on. 

The fireplace created a soothing ambiance, but the current mood in the room is anything but soothing. Ashley hurriedly gets to her feet, her shirt only halfway on as she scrambles to the front door- swinging it shut behind her. Tim reaches for the carton of cigarettes, so this is why people smoke. He lights it, much to your disbelief. “You smoke?” Your voice portrays how utterly shocked you are, but that’s not what Tim is concerned about. “Forget something?” He asks bitterly, turning back towards the balcony. You stand dumbly in front of the fireplace as he turns his back to you, “you know where everything is. Careful there’s broken porcelain in the kitchen.” Tim adds as he steps onto the balcony, needing space from you. 

Tim isn’t all that surprised when you step out onto the balcony beside him.

“That’s not why I’m here.” You say softly, careful not to get too close to him. There’s a tension between the two of you that was never there before, and it’s all your fault. You look back inside at the couch, the blankets are messed up and the cushions are squished down. “You had sex with her didn’t you?” You ask, knowing you don’t have any right to sound as hurt as you do. Tim takes a long puff of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out into the New York night. “Yeah,” he breathes, although he doesn’t sound very proud of it. You nodded, your eyes looking out at the beautiful city laid out before you. “I think we both know that I made a mistake.” You start, your voice soft. Tim scoffed through a bitter laugh, his elbows resting on the railing. 

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t trust you not to hurt him again. “I love you Tim.” You say, your heart betraying you as tears well in your eyes. You wanted to try and remain strong. Tim’s eyes are downcast as the cigarette rests between his lips. Your eyes land on his hand, and you notice the blood soaked through the bandaid. “What happened to your hand?” You asked and Tim briefly glanced down at his palm before turning his gaze to you for the first time since you got here. “Please just tell me what you want.” He says, crossing his arms as he leans away from you. You hate that you did this to him. 

“You Tim, I want us.” You tell him, your eyes following him as he moved back inside. You followed him like a lost puppy as he moved into the kitchen. 

“But you want him too right?” Tim asks, a look of hurt and anger on his face as he eyes you. There’s a bitter smile on his face, and a look of guilt on yours. You shake your head, “I thought I did. I was wrong, I could never feel for him the way I feel about you.” You plead, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks as you stand and watch him move through the kitchen. “The problem Y/N, is that I knew that from the beginning. I knew right away that I would never love anyone the way I love you. I didn’t need to go gallivanting off with some other girl to figure that out!” Tim snapped, his voice raising as he looks into your eyes. There are tears falling freely down your cheeks now as you pull at the strings hanging from the sweater you’re wearing. It’s Tim’s sweater actually, and you’re sure he knows that. 

“I-I know, I wish I had the answer you want but I don’t! I don’t! All I can give you is what I got right now, I-I love you.” You beg, your voice breaking through the tears. Tim holds a glass in his hand, presumably to get a drink but he never gets the chance to use it. He chucks it at the wall, glass exploding off everywhere as he turns back to you. “You love me? That’s fucking hilarious Y/N. If you loved me you wouldn’t have left!” He yelled, the emotion on his face making your throat close. There are tears behind his eyes, and you can see how badly you broke him. You’d give anything to undo this, to go back in time. “What do I do Tim, what c-can I do?” You plead, trying to catch your breath through the sobs. Tim doesn’t bother responding as he storms past you and to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

You stand in the kitchen and cry, you’re not sure this can be fixed. Why are you so stupid? You love him so damn much, why couldn’t you see that sooner? 

Tim slides down the door, part of him wants to take you into his arms and never let you go again. But the other part wants to hold you at arms length, wants to scream and break everything in this damn apartment. He hears you slump against the door on the other side, and his heart rate begins to slow. “I want to fix us.” You say softly. Tim rests his head back against the door, his knees are pulled up. “How can I trust that you won’t leave me again? I won’t survive this a second time.” Tim says, his voice calmer than before. It’s true, he will not survive this a second time if you up and decided to leave him. “You can’t, but I won’t leave you again. I promise.” You whisper, turning to press your forehead against the door. 

Slowly the door opens and you immediately stand, seeing Tim standing before you. “I love you.” You whisper again, seeing the tears in his eyes. They match the fresh tears brimming in your own eyes. “I-I love you.” Tim breathes through shaky breaths, his trembling hands reaching up to cup your cheeks. Your forehead presses against his as your arms wind around him, and you feel at home again. Slowly, cautiously, you press your lips to his. Tim reacts immediately to you, his head tilting to deepen the kiss, his hands pulling you more firmly against him. The kiss is quick and desperate, but at the same time slow and sensual. You feel tears falling down your cheeks, and tears falling down his as well. You begin to walk him backwards towards the bed, you need to feel him all over your body. 

The two of you fall against the bed, your bodies tangled together as your lips continue to slide against each other. Your hands are the first to wander as they head south to his hardening cock. His chest is still bare and your other hand dances around his revealed skin. Tim’s hands push up the bottom of your shirt, slowly working it up your body as your hand dips under the waistband of his jeans. He gasps into your mouth when your small hand wraps around his cock and his grip on you tightens when you begin to slowly pump him in your hand. You break away from his lips to allow him to pull your shirt over your head and he groans when he sees your bare breasts and no bra. 

“I missed this.” He mumbled against the skin of your neck, his kisses trailing downward towards the swell of your breasts. Your head fell back as soft gasps escaped your mouth as his lips latched to your left nipple. You continued to work your hand over his shaft, feeling the head precumming all over your hand. “You’re hard awfully quick after the blonde bitch.” You say, your voice sharper at the end. Tim hummed against your skin, his other hand dancing down between your bodies to the waistband of your jeans. “She wasn’t particularly satisfying, just enough for me to cum though.” Tim says simply, kissing across your chest to your right nipple. You feel a sting to your heart but you say nothing because you totally deserved that. 

The pad of his fingers makes contact with your aching clit and you nearly cry out when you feel him beginning to softly press against your bundle of nerves. You pump him in his pants faster and when you feel his hips stutter one of his hands snatches your wrist in his hand. “I’d rather cum in your sweet little pussy rather than in my jeans.” Tim mumbles against the supple skin of your breast. You nod immediately as you begin to push his jeans down his legs, helping him remove your own jeans. You rolled onto your back and pulled you with him so that he was hovering above you. “Don’t think this fixes everything, we have a long way to go.” Tim reminds you, his hands planted on the pillow on either side of your head. 

“I know.” You say softly, parting your thighs for him. He groans at the sight of your wet pussy, this was definitely a view he missed enjoying. Tim smiles to himself as he leans down to part your pussy lips. He sits back and takes in the view of your glistening folds until you’re squirming under his intense gaze. “Please do something,” You plead softly, watching his eyes flutter over every detail of your soaked pussy. He softly blows cool air on you, causing a soft moan to tumble from your lips before he leans back up over your body. Tim nudges the head of his cock into your opening as he looks down at you, “look..you hurt me but I love you. More than anything.” Tim says sincerely, his eyes flickering between yours. You wrap your arms around him before you press your lips to his, “I love you.” You mumble against his lips as he presses into you. 

You wince as he slides inch by inch into you, the last time you were with anyone was him and that was a few weeks ago. You missed the feeling of his cock stretching you open. Tim squeezes his eyes shut with a long groan, “Christ baby you are so fucking tight.” Tim gasps, the feeling of you tightly hugging his cock is making him feel a little lightheaded. “I haven’t been with anyone since you,” you gasp once Tim slid fully inside you. He sat still for a moment, basking in the feeling of being fully inside you. You moaned softly, you loved feeling so stuffed full with his cock. How could you ever think you were better off without him? Or his Godly cock? Eventually Tim pulls his hips back, sliding out until just his tip rested inside you. Your legs spread even wider for him as he thrusted back in, his strokes long and deep. Tim kept fucking you nice and deep, keeping his pace steady as he panted above you. His mouth hung open and his eyebrows were pinched together as he frantically lowered his mouth over yours again.

Your lips moved quickly against Tim’s as you felt the heat building in your stomach. “I missed this pussy so much baby,” He groaned against your lips, his pace picking up a little. You began to moan uncontrollably as Tim began to pound into you, “I-I won’t leave you again, fuck I can’t live without you or your perfect cock.” You cry out, your arms flying around him as he bites down on your shoulder to try and silence his groans. Tim loves hearing the sounds you make for him. “Don’t stop baby please.” You plead softly as his pace slows to deep and hard strokes. Tim reaches down to harshly pinch your clit and you cum around him, your back arching up into his chest. Feeling you tighten around him sends Tim over the edge as he spills into you. Thank God for birth control. 

Tim pulls out of you and collapses onto the bed next to you, his arm pulling you into his chest. You both sit and catch your breaths for a second before you feel Tim pressing a kiss to your head. “I know you’re scared I’ll leave again, but I won’t and I’ll spend the rest of our lives proving it to you if that’s what it takes.” You tell him and he offers nothing more than a nod as he squeezes you to his chest. He doesn’t know the future, he only knows right now. 

And right now, he’s got what he needs. 

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