#literally sporting the biggest headache rn

[itoshi-s]

okay im done 😀 like i thought. i am now fucking soaked

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store?  I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

[interludedahyun]

Tagged by @jeonhandsome thanks!! 💕💕

Rules: Answer the fifteen questions and tag fifteen people.

1. Are you named after someone?

Yeah, my dad’s name is James and the girl version is Jaime so

2. When was the last time you cried?

I’m pretty sure I cried this morning bc I had a headache and had to go to school early

3. Do you have kids?

I couldn’t not handle any kids

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Depends on who I’m with really

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

If they make direct eye contact or not,, which is weird given the fact that I used to hate eye contact 

6. What is your eye color?

Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings, I can’t deal with scary

8. Any special talents?

I can sing and play the flute? I think those two are pretty cool

9. Where were you born?

Oklahoma

10. What are your hobbies?

Eating literally everything and sleeping,, which is sad but I’m currently on my way to finals and I’m S T R E S S E D 

11. Have any pets?

I have 5 dogs and some fish

12. How tall are you?

5”1 ish? 

13. What sports do you play or have you played?

I played soccer (kinda) more for fun than for sport and I did cheerleading which I count as a sport cause that was hard as fuck

14. Favorite school subject?

It was tie between science and history

15. Dream job?

Wedding planning,, like y’all don’t understand how much I love planning events and that’s the only reason why I’m sticking with doing a business degree so I can be better off when I want to open up my own company. So hit a girl up if you want me to plan your wedding! 

I tag: @pretty-joon (bc you’re literally the first person I tag in anything #buddies), @jungkooksmoon (I instantly tag you next in almost everything), @gvcci-tae (you always are super nice when I tag you even though we don’t talk I have much love for you), @jiminhoneyy (bc you’re my biggest fan on here rn and you seem adorable?) 💕

[turnbackten]

get to know me tag!

i was tagged by @dolcetae !! thanks kiera ily!! 💞 💘 RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: last call I got was from my work and call I did was to my mom 3. text message: one of my friends from high school about hanging out  4. song you listened to: oh god….DONTTRUSTME by 3oh!3  5. time you cried: my eyes started watering when I saw a pic of hobi today but actually crying was at least a few days ago 6. dated someone twice: gotta date someone first! 7. kissed someone and regretted it: im lonely, no. 

8. been cheated on: nope

9. lost someone special: yes  10. been depressed: yea 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: almost threw up but I managed to just have the worst headache of my life instead!

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. light gray, blue, and i guess purple? I like a lot of different colors 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yep! 16. fallen out of love: i guess kinda but nothing too deep  17. laughed until you cried: definitely  18. found out someone was talking about you: I never found out if anyone was :/ 19. met someone who changed you: i wouldn’t say changed me as a person, but maybe my views on a few things  20. found out who your friends are: I guess?? I don’t know a lot of people for my friend group to change much 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: again, I’m lonely!!

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I have no idea? 23. do you have any pets: I only have a betta fish named riceball but i really want a dog and to adopt the chameleon at my work!!!  24. do you want to change your name: I used to hate my name but I’ve gotten over it and am chillin now 

25. what did you do for your last birthday: just went out to dinner with my family 26. what time did you wake up: 7:00 am :))  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: in my bed, on tumblr  28. name something you can’t wait for: I guess to, like, start my life and not be so scared for the future? idk..i wanna career already   29. when was the last time you saw your mom: uhh half an hour ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much. going along with #28, I kinda just want to be doing something towards starting my life ??  31. what are you listening to right now: just a shuffle of all my music  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes oh my god he’s awful (I also know a tommy who’s less awful) 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my siblings eating the food I buy for work :)))  34. most visited website: tumblr (but i bet google could give tumblr a run for its money lmao)  35-37. ok cool  38. hair color: dark brown  39. long or short hair: i have longish hair rn but im also lazy as hell and need to cut it bc its way too much work for me.

40. do you have a crush on someone: lol not really  

41. what do you like about yourself: i guess my sense of humor and tht even though I can come off as an asshole I really would do anything for anybody?? Like its bad but I really am here to make people happy if I can 42. piercings: 5 in my ears but I want a shit ton more  43. blood type: my mom said O+ but she’s not sure 44. nickname: lmao megan calls me mrnda but if anyone wants to give me a nickname I more than welcome it  45. relationship status: really fuckin single 46. zodiac: virgo 💫   47.pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: how am I supposed to pick one when there’s hundreds of different genres?? The first 2 that come to mind are Parks and Rec and Criminal Minds  49. tattoos: I have none but I want so many  50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: none 52. piercing: yep 53. sport: i am hands down the most uncoordinated person and really bad at sports but I like going to hockey games 54. vacation: last place I traveled to was chicago to see bts and I literally almost died I was so fuckin sick and it was so cold  55. pair of trainers: i love me pumas or adidas

MORE GENERAL: 56. eating: chicken (i don’t even like chicken that much…) 57. drinking: water  58. im about to: do laundry and then lay in my bed until 6am when I eventually pass out 59. waiting for: my paycheck lmao 60. want: I just want to be like…happy?? and also some ice cream 61. get married: yikes! someone l*ving me? forever??  62. career: pls dont stress me out like this, this is tumblr

WHICH IS BETTER: 63. hugs or kisses: i really hope kisses bc I am not the biggest hugs fan  64. lips or eyes: either tbh but I like nice eyes 65. shorter or taller: taller 66. older or younger: i dont care a whole lot as long as its not creepy but I guess older  67. nice arms or nice stomach: I have neither so why would I care ? 68. hookup or relationship: im so attention starved pls give me anything 69. troublemaker or hesitant: balance between the two 

HAVE YOU EVER: 70. kissed a stranger: no 71. drank hard liquor: yep 72. lost glasses/contact lenses: yep 73. turned someone down: as th*rsty as I am…yes 74: sex on the first date: i’m really lonely so no  75. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so 76. had your heart broken: not relationship wise but i’ve been hurt by people before 77. been arrested: nope 78: cried when someone died: yes 79. fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 80. yourself: not as much as I should 81. miracles: miracles is kinda heavy of a word..but something along those lines…yea  82. love at first sight: im a cynical person  83. santa claus: nah 84. kiss on the first date: why not 85. angels: I’d like to think so but Idk

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: Megan and and Stephanie are my best friends and will always be the most pure and amazing souls on this planet god bless 91: eye color: green  92: favorite movie: ?? either Mulan or Scott Pilgrim vs The World lmao   

 I’m tagging @teacuptae, @otpvmin, @yoongismollgf, @pasteljoon, @velvethoseok, @myg-pjms, @hobsangel, @prettymochi, @jimibi, @blacknamjoonstan, @iloveyoonjin, @jnghobi, @mytaeddy, @jungkooksweetheart, @9yoong, @yeonqimin, and @thighkink (as usual you obvs don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!!)