#literally spin the wheel of do i kill myself or do i go to grad school is cancelled | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mainfaggot · 2 months ago

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just planned my entire university career out for the second time in the last 4 months and yes i physically couldn't get myself to take a deep enough deep breath for the past 11 days. it's okay though I'll live (at what cost)

#the pains of being an honours thesis student with multiple mental illnesses and very little motivation in life #i always want to give up but im trying to live for the sake of living #literally spin the wheel of do i kill myself or do i go to grad school is cancelled #it happens everyday. the arrow lands on kill myself and then i manually yank it 2 cm to land on grad school #bc there ARE things i could do there ARE fields i could be passionate about #maybe not yet but i can beat the anhedonia with with a stick eventually.#ill kill myself if the masters program falls through or whatever. thats in like 3 years though #so until then!#the goal is to live to the best of my ability #no suicide until 25 ...#then me and the board and the committee are going to sit down and think about that.#z.post

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