#literally shat this out in like 2 hours

[thou-babbling-brook]

Whipped up a quick slutty birthday post for the whore himself

So I realized last year while I was in Florence that Ezio’s birthday coincides with the St. John the Baptist Festival there!! One of the big attractions for the day is the calcio storico fiorentino, which is like soccer on steroids feat. punching and mud. It started around the 15th century when Ezio would’ve been kicking around, so I decided to draw him semi-historically accurate playing in the game.

See below for the progress!

[caesarinsalata]

*Ahem*

Uh... So....how about a Part 2?

(I literally accidentally just shat out the next part in the same day 🤣💦)

PART 2

A few days later

“He should be awake by now…”

“Just give him time. Losing a limb is a lot of stress for a small kid.”

“We could only do so much using alchemy, so we'll just have to see when he wakes up.”

“I think I saw him move!”

Edward’s body was so heavy like something was sitting on his chest. His eyes fluttered open as he groaned and made an attempt at sitting up.

“Ed don't move!”

Too late. The moment his muscles strained against his weight, a shockwave of sharp stabbing quickly struck from his stump up through his hip. A yelp caught in his throat as his upper body slammed back down onto the mattress.

“He's going to need more herbs… go transmute some more numbing agent.”

His breathing was shaky. Before he could reach for his wrapped limb, someone grabbed his wrist to stop him. Another stab of pain followed by a deep pulsing sensation assaulted him before he could look to see who it was.

“Who-?”

“You mustn't touch it.”

“Wha-?” Opting to attempt just lifting his head this time, Ed craned his neck to look down at his lower half.

“My….my leg…”. A hitched hiccuping sound came out of Ed's mouth as his eyes grew wide again. He thought it was all a sick trick of the mind or nightmare of some kind. This can't be real! It's gone! Where is it??

“Where is my leg?!” Whipping his head back, Ed shouted and threw a tantrum, the pain getting unbearable as he tossed his limbs around. Blood seeping through the dressings.

“Edward! Ed, stop! You're hurting yourself!”

“Give it back, damn it! My leg! Where is it?!”

Everyone in the room had to hold him down. Unfortunately someone had to put pressure on his upper thigh to stop the wounded limb from being damaged further. The pressure shot another, more intense, bold of pain through him and he wailed.

Shortly after he ran out of air to scream with, the pain became too much and he passed out again. Everyone sighed.

“It's better if he stays asleep for now…”

“I've got the medicine!”

“Hurry and bring it over, we might have to reseal his wound. He threw a fit and about gave himself a head injury.”

Inspecting and redressing his stump, they gave him the numbing agent that should also help with keeping him asleep for a few more hours.

“Why can't we see him!”

“Kids, please, I know it may seem unfair, but he needs to rest. Any more stress and it'll never heal.”

“But brother is all alone in there! He needs someone there when he wakes up!”

“The alchemists that specialize in healing abilities are doing what they can. You have to be patient. You'll just be in the way. I'm sorry…”

Hohenheim was doing everything in his power to keep Al and Winry from barging into Ed's room. It was the boys’ room, but they needed a solitary area for Ed's recovery. Al was moved into Winry's room, when she visited, mainly for moral support.

The kids pouted and were about to cry for the fifth time today and that wasn’t counting the amount of fluids they collectively lost on the day of the incident.

They didn't know what to make of the sounds heard from the throne room. First it was just yelling. The most jarring part of the whole thing was a moment of silence then all they could hear was the scream of pure agony bouncing off the stone walls. Before they could escape the library/play room to even see what it was, Trisha, Ed and Al’s mother, came running in to check on them, not knowing where the scream was coming from.

She had held them as they all shook at the sound of what they believed was Hohenheim letting out a cry and then running by the archway. The curtain in the doorway fluttered at his speed and all the three of them could see was an adult man carrying someone and nothing but blood following after him. An unnerving copious amount of it. Al and Winry didn't register who or what it was until Trisha gasped. In that split second, she could make out an unconscious Ed in Hohenheim's arms.

“Edward…?”

Then it began to make sense to them. Who else could that scream have come from? And Hohenheim looking out of his mind and frantic only meant one thing. Edward was hurt. Bad. Trisha didn't want the kids to see anything so she held onto them as she closed her eyes. Al and Winry couldn't help but stare at the stream of blood creeping in from under the curtain between the stone floor seams.

Needless to say, everyone was traumatized that day, but they didn't appreciate not being able to see Ed to make sure he was actually alive. The only thing they could go on was the kicking and screaming from Ed's room a minute ago. But it was quiet now.

“I hope my brother is okay…”

“He'll be okay, Al… He's too stubborn to die.”

They both looked at each other ready to cry again.

[wjehfshs]

141 characters as FNAF night guards + what game they belong to bc I can

FNAF stuff, spoilers for the FNAF lore?

Gaz

Sister location

Almost shat himself when he saw that Circus baby wasn’t in her correct spot

Has literal tears in his eyes every time he has to go check up on Funtime Freddy

But loves Bon Bon

Didn’t sleep for a week after he had that first interaction with a bidybab

Only thing stopping him from crying in the spring lock suit was knowing he wouldn’t survive if he even just sweat a little

After Ennard fucked off out of his body he had a break down in the mirror

Not because he was a walking corpse or anything but because he didn’t look as good when he was alive (or at least that’s what he believed)

Ghost

FNAF 4 (cuz yknow, childhood trauma)

Except he’s an adult in this

Don’t ask why or how it works just go with it

Calm on the outside but once the sun comes up he gets in the shower and just stares at the water for 3 hours, contemplating his life and what it’s become

Very skilled at knowing where everyone is

Always struggles to fit under the bed

Once it’s all over it looks like he put black eyeshadow all over his eyes due to his lack of sleep

Now has a new fear of bears he didn’t have before

Soap

FNAF 2

Cried his first shift

Actually no scratch that, he cried every shift

Only reason he kept going was because it was the only job he could get

Had a crush on Toy Chica until she took her beak off

Now he’s scared shitless of her

Likes balloon boy even though he’s a little shit

At first genuinely believed he had too much Za when he saw the animatronics move

Least favourite is definitely Withered Chica

She haunts his dreams fr

So sad she ended up withered because she used to be his fav

At some point debated just going into work with torches strapped all over his body with a Tupperware container filled to the brim of batteries

Decided not to because he couldn’t afford it and it would be uncomfortable

Price

FNAF 3

At first thought it was a prank by his co-workers

When he realised he was in actual danger, all he could say was “well fuck”

Every time an animatronic apart from spring trap jump scares him he swears he goes more blind

“Bloody fuckin hell! I’d rather have my eyes strapped open while a flash bang goes off”

Smokes 5X more cigars than usual to help with the stress

“Laswell I’m tellin you! These fuckin robots are out for my ass! There’s this giant fuckin rabbit that looks like it ate a grenade about to go off!!”

Burns the place down and goes home and collapses for the first time in a week

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

newsiestober day 2 submission!!! catching up on these today, i'll have day 2 and 3 out pretty close together, i have 3 done but i wanted to post this first to keep it chronological

@newsiestober2023

prompt: apples

javey, modern au

word count: 820 (whoops this ended up being a lot longer than it was sposed to<3)

jack swung open the door and stepped inside, shutting it behind him as he kicked off his shoes.

"honey, i'm home!" he sang, walking into the living room and plopping his bag on the couch. "smells good davey-bear, whatcha cookin?" jack said, not turning around yet. he dug through his bag, looking for his check.

"good news darlin', i-" he stopped, realizing he hadn't gotten an answer from davey. "dave?" he called, looking towards the door.

jack heard footsteps moving in the kitchen, and a faint humming. he smiled, creeping towards the door, careful not to make too much noise. he stood in the doorway for a moment, watching as his husband puttered around their little kitchen, cleaning the counters and putting the dishes in the sink, headphones over his ears, head nodding along to his music.

the tall man wiped his hands on a dish towel, and turned to put the rag in the laundry, and jumped when he saw jack leaning in the doorway. a warm smile spread across his face as he took his headphones off and hung them around his neck.

"hey jackie!" he opened his arms and jack sunk into his embrace, tucking his head into his husband's neck.

"you smell good." jack murmured. david laughed at the tickling feeling of his lips on his neck, and pulled back to plant a kiss on the shorter man's lips. "been bakin'," he said, brushing hand across jack's cheek.

they had been married three years, and he still couldn't believe this beautiful man was his husband. "hi." he said breathlessly, studying jack's brown eyes, that always seemed to pull him in and not want to let him go.

jack leaned into his hand, an adoring smile on his face. "heya dave." he caught david's hand and kissed his fingertips. "you gonna tell me what smells so good, or do i have to dig 'round 'n find out for m'self?" he said, mouth still pressed to the other's hand.

david pulled his hand out of jack's grasp as a timer went off conveniently at that moment. jack gasped dramatically as his husband pulled the dish out of the oven.

"is that pie!" he cried, rushing over to look at the pie plate david had set on the oven top. "is that apple pie?" he grinned, turning excitedly to his smiling husband. david nodded.

"i know it's your favourite, and our neighbor jazzy brought us some apples, so i-" his sentence cut off with an oomf! as jack flung himself into his chest.

"you're the best husband ever and i love you so much and you're amazing and incredible and pretty and perfect and i love you." jack gushed into his shoulder. he wrapped his arms around the smaller man and swayed them back and forth. "you're welcome, jackie." davey smiled into jack's hair. after three hours of battling the finicky pie crust, he was immensely pleased that jack was so happy.

"when can i eat it?" came the muffled reply from beneath his chin. david chuckled and let go of his lover as he turned to grab plates from the cabinet. "grab the ice cream, yeah?" he said over his shoulder.

when he put the knife on the perfectly browned crust of the pie, jack was physically bouncing with excitement. davey cut a big slice and put it on his husband's plate, and with a kiss to is cheek, jack was racing to the table to start eating. as he cut his own slice, david heard a delighted groan come from their kitchen table.

"dave. baby. please, i think i have literally ascended into heaven. this tastes like god herself shat out a holy poop and you somehow made it into a perfect pie. oh my god i love you so much please come over here so i can kiss you." jack's mouth was full of pie and ice cream as he showed davey grabby hands. david flushed and set his own plate down on the table.

"you aren't getting any kisses with a mouth full of food, my love. swallow, please." he sat down at the place across from his husband.

jack grinned messily. "that's what he-" david slid jack's plate over to his side of the table. "you know i love you, but if you finish that joke you don't get any more pie and i'm filing for divorce." jack let out a cry of anguish as he swallowed his gargantuan mouthful. "but who would bake me the best pies on planet earth!" he mourned, reaching for his plate.

"me, because i love you." david said as he pushed jack's own plate towards him and leaned across to kiss him.

his lips were cold from eating the ice cream, and he could feel jack's smile in the kiss.

it was a crisp fall day, and they had jack's favourite kind of pie, and they were happy.

[mageofminge]

where i've been the past few months

just wanna say sorry i haven't been posting as much, for the past few months i've basically been dealing with at least 2 separate health conditions at a time and no matter how much i try i can never seem to get well again. its honestly just been taking a massive toll on my mental health and i haven't been able to do much other than get by on a daily basis.

i'm also just rlly angry rn bc i was always healthy before but my body's just been completely worn out from both studying and uni stress, as well as living in halls so grim people would regularly get food poisoning from the kitchens and not being able to afford to eat out. i just hate the people that made the kitchen grim by not knowing basic food hygiene, then refused to listen when i tried to explain that hey, you can't put raw meat on top of other people's vegetables, even if it is in packaging because, crazy idea, that packaging can in fact break causing raw meat juice to spill all over the veggies.

there's also the element of religion stuff in the sense that, there was this rlly holy day in my religion, but bc of the rest of my family not being particularly religious or almost wanting me to not be religious so they can hate on me, i didn't know it was the holy day until afterwards. and i uh. did something that was. a massive no-no. on the literal holiest day. in my religion. and then that combined with. all the health issues only happening after that. basically my brain is always now blaming me for causing those health issues by being reckless and doing a big nono. rather than double checking online bc i had heard it was the following day and so assumed that night was safe. and again this is completely illogical but because the timing lines up so well it keeps popping back in my head that i wouldn't be so sickly if i had observed that holy day properly.

oh and also finally i've been struggling with the public healthcare system a lot bc everyone ive seen has either refused fully comprehensive testing or just refused to test me at all (i assume to save money). only to waste more money by playing guesswork and prescribing me antibiotics i don't need (the antibiotic in question being FLUCLOXACILLIN for STAPH, which has A HIGH RATE OF ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANCE, caused by using them when not needed). oh and again waste money by me having to constantly come in for follow ups and follow ups because the one stool test they decided to run came back negative so why are you still ill.

and also throughout this whole illness my family has been pretty horrible. whenever i need to do smth bc im ill they always act like im a spoilt brat who's being a massive pain. as though them being mildly inconvenienced by my illness is a grave sin. like one time i got rlly bad food poisoning and had to throw up multiple times over the span of an hour. and then also had diarrhea that was so severe it was like i was shitting literal water. this was on holiday at like 3-4am. and then at like 8 after i had gone back to sleep for the time and woken up my family were all yelling at me telling me to be considerate and not be so loud at 3-4am. knowing. i had just. vomitted and shat my guts out. from food poisoning.

and with all that combined being ill just generally sucks. like the only person who actually is considerate and takes care of me is my bf. who ive tried to stay with as much as possible but its incredibly difficult bc my parents also randomly decide to have severe abandonment issues and act like im leaving a gaping hole in their lives every time im not at home. but then treat me like they strongly dislike me and im a massive inconvenience when i am home.

so yeah basically these past few months have just been me cosplaying as a sickly victorian child asking to be taken out to the garden one last time before the consumption sets in.

[bearboiferer69]

My father is a lecho fanatic

Be me, Anon lvl 28. Since I remember my father was a lecho fanatic. Since I fucking remember he only made lecho. It started innocent, somewhere during the communist occupation him, my mother and my older brother went to Hungary. He liked it so fucking much that he stole the whole fucking pot from the local Gordon Ramsay and shoved it into his shitty car with mom and my brother and fucking drove away. To this day mom talks about how he ate bowl after bowl with a retarted smile on his face until he was shitting pure liquid. The peak of fucking communism, no fucking gas station anywhere and every now and then he stopped the car and shat orange unto the bushes. But he kept fucking devouring with no end in sight until they ran out. He threw out that pot and said "Honey, tomorrow we're making lecho for dinner!". Mom has panic in her eyes, brother started crying. After returning home he went to the market looking for bell peppers. Motherfucker bought around 30 Kilo, dragged along the cauldron near some glass jars and put it on the gas stove. Oh, how fucking furious he was, as we had a renovation in he apartment building! He ran to the technicians and started fucking beating them with his ladle until the cops locked him up for 24 hours. Nowadays he keeps fucking yapping about how he suffered under communism for this country's freedom. Bullshit. He was suffering because of lecho.

Motherfucker can stay in the kitchen for 4 hours and send me twice a day to get bell peppers from the shop, because he himself is banned. As soon as she sees me, the lady behind the counter, without a word, gets a whole fucking bag of bell peppers from the back of the store. Now drag this like a moron up to the 3rd floor with no elevator. I once wanted to take a bath, and I fucking couldn't because "Not fucking now, the bell peppers are in there!". Fucking hell, I can't even take a bath in my own house! Motherfucker will stand over the pot and talk to himself "ooh I'd love to eat some lecho rn". He can fill up the whole fucking freezer with this shit. When I was a kid, on Easter he told us to look for gifts from the Easter Bunny near the apartment building, and what did I fucking find under a bush? A jar of fucking lecho! Great fucking gift. I'm not even gonna mention how the jar was warm and that old fuck stole it from me and fucking devoured it for breakfast. Besides, he doesn't eat anything else. One time I wanted to eat some ice cream. Of course dad had to help me with that and made fucking lecho ice cream! Fucking imagine that, lecho on a fucking stick! Once he added way too much salt and pepper because the whole container fell into the pot. And he fucking ate it like that. 15 litters in two days, can you imagine that?! He ate and shat lecho. My brother told him to install a pipe from his ass to his mouth, because he got fucking mad. Dad beat him with a bag of bell peppers, and then lamented that he wasted 20 kilo on him! Christmas, Holidays, funeral wakes, he only ate fucking lecho for dinner! We don't have any guests over anymore, because who's gonna eat lecho while drinking vodka. One time on a trip to Cracow I wanted to go to a McDonalds, he replied that "you're not gonna eat that fucking kemichal slop, daddy made some good food" and takes out a military thermal cup in the middle of the city square. Thankfully mom had 2 loafs of bread for this occasion. I feel ashamed before my peers because when they were sending me off to Biskupin for a trip, dad brought a barrel full of fucking lecho! "Eat some, you're gonna walk for the whole day!" He's able to put a whole fucking pig into it instead of just sausage. Because it's apparently cheaper. He bought an electric cauldron with 500 liters of capacity and put it in the building's dryer room. The block's administration started ignoring the neighbours' pleads for him to fucking throw it out of there. They gave up after the 70th complaint. He now orders bell peppers from a farm. In massive quantities. Mom's crying, because now we have no money for anything except lecho. So he came up with the idea of a bar, where he will only serve lecho. Dense, Diluted, any way you can fucking imagine!

Whenever he could, dad tried to get money for his new investment. After visiting a few banks, where, by the way, they told him he's a fucking lobotomite, he sat furious for a week, scheming. He schemed so fucking hard, that on saturday, at 4AM, he left the occupied drying room, screaming something about Hungary. After half a year they cut off electricity in the drying room, so he would only sit there and hug the cauldron. He went back to cooking home, driving the gas bill through the fucking roof. He kept crying over how everyone at the administration doesn't understand anything and only take rent. Overall those fucks could've left his electricity on, because now the whole flat fucking reeks again. He came back home with fury in his eyes, saying how those whores didn't want to sell him a ticket for a polish bus with luggage in the form of a 500 liter cauldron! Finally he bargained out a bus from an uncle who worked construction, which he will use to go to Hungary. He kept fucking yapping about his grand vision, all day chopping up the fucking peppers in the bathroom, taking turns standing over the pots in the kitchen. He would swing that shit around like he was on fucking speed! His eyes were even fucking glowing.

Next day uncle drove up, and this fuck told him to put that fucking cauldron in the baggage. They got really mad at each other, because he also wanted to get some money for gas. Truly polish. They started fucking fighting in that dryer room, so much that mom had to separate them. Old fuck got a bruised eye and kept lamenting. Uncle took his bus and that's the last we've seen of him. He's on terrible terms with my dad. I can't blame him to be honest. He ate a whole fucking cauldron to calm down, of course unstirred lecho, which managed to burn at the bottom. He kept fucking screaming at us how it's our fault that we didn't keep an eye on it. I don't give a shit.

This time he tried his luck with his buddy from work, but he only had a passenger car. Father complained like a motherfucker, but whatever, he loaded 15 fucking liters onto the car and off they went. We had 5 days of peace at home. He came back driving next to the house in some truck with some equipment and screamed "Honey, I'm leaving work! I found a fucking investor in Hungary!". This was way too fucking much. Out of the truck came some dude in my dad's age and started talking some bullshit about byshy ryshy kyshe lecho eshgdar. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about. Dad didn't either, but he was happy like a child. Apparently when he was away he molested some translator, who had enough of him and agreed to translate a business proposition.

After a week of cooking and devouring lecho in ungodly amounts they bought some crackhouse in the outskirts of the city to renovate it. That old fuck was excited to the max and literally orgasmed at the thought of making money from lecho. I don't give a fuck, I hope he does well. I had enough of this shit already, so I decided to move out. Mom is fucking furious at me, father even more, since who's gonna fucking help him. I told him to fuck off and to hire someone. After the renovation they started their business. At the beginning he kept abusing his electric cauldron and selling everything but he wasn't cooking fast enough. He was so incredibly pissed that he had to hire someone to help. That poor man didn't know what he signed up for. Everything he did was fucking wrong, because he made the fucking lecho wrong, because he did it in a diffrent way, because he's gonna fucking lose it. In the meantime I moved away 50km away from home. But sadly, it's not the end of the adventure.

It's been a couple of weeks since I was home. I call mom everyday, she's not that pissed anymore since dad isn't home for days and his business is bringing in some money. She told me abou how he apearantly went insane because people are eating lecho like crazy and he's gonna build a fucking factory alongside this Hungarian. God damn, good for him. Maybe it's for the better.

No it fucking wasn't. He got so unreasonable that he decided to get himself the biggest fucking cauldron in the whole fucking world. Insanely fucking big. I had no idea what that would look like. The dude my father hired at the beginning even got a higher position. Even tough he's the CEO, my dad does everything himself, becase he gets fucking furious when he sees how they mismanage his lecho. Mom called me and told me that dad is trying to secure funding . Turns out he secured a fucking beating. Turns out even the marshall wanted to sue him, because of how insane he was when submitting the application. Fucker wanted funding for innovation, they laughed him off and told him that lecho isn't innovation and told him to fuck off. Like, in a nutshell. I heard that he got insanely mad because he lost his chance at money. But it wasn't all so bad, as he secured a contract for lecho with Biedronka (european chain store). Now besides this enourmous fucking cauldron he will also have a whole array of freezers. When the Hungarian heard the news he was jacking off for a week, taking turns with the secretary. I mean, she jacked him off, not him her.

I said 'fuck it' and decided to go see what's going on with my father. I'm driving on the express road and suddenly I see a collosal fucking factory from 10 km away. I thought "oh you old fucker, you sly dog". Imagine a pressure cooker the size of the fucking Culture Palace. And on it, a giant fucking neon sign, proclaiming 'LECHO!'. Motherfucker now orders peppers and tomatoes in wagons. He hires like 500 people, but "they don't know anything about lecho, I need to watch over everything myself". I drive up to the factory, he comes out saying "see sonny, you should've stayed here and helped me, you would've been a supervisor". We enter a really fancy office, and I can't fucking believe my eyes. A pool full of lecho! A whole fucking olympian swimming pool full of fucking lecho! Old fuck takes off all his clothes and jumps into this fucking pool. What the fuck is going on here?! I'm leaving, I can't take this anymore. On the way out I trip on some scared technician's foot. He's screaming "Boss, the pressure lock got fucked, everything's about to blow up!". I turn around and I see terrified dad with his junk out, looking at the newly formed cracks on the biggest lecho cauldron in the wold. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!". He didn't even get a chance to finish, when all the lecho started flooding the town as if Johnny from Brazzers came through that crack. They even talked about it on national television. A whole city flooded in lecho!

Dad got such a trauma that I kinda felt bad for him. All he did was reheat the lecho from the freezer and eat it, he didn't say a word to anyone. He fucking devoured lecho and stayed silent. Oh no, sorry, he got diarrhea, but even on the toilet while shitting only lecho came out. He only complained in his sleep about some motherfucker named Zenek who sabotaged his factory out of envy. Until that day came. And I foolishly hoped that it would never come. He woke up screaming "I GOT IT!".

"I KNOW, I FUCKING GOT IT!". At that moment all of my optimism burst like a grown, mature cyst. Why the fuck did I decide to move back in? Dad got dressed up and, to everyone's suprise, didn't swallow a jar of lecho for breakfast, he just flung out th front door even faster then when he was going to Hungary. I tought "what the fuck did he come up with this time? He got enough insurance money to sit on his ass all day and not move an inch". But not my father. He came back in the afternoon. Red like a motherfucker and gasping as if he had a heart attack. I expected another bag of peppers, but I was sadly mistaken. He got a satchel weighing like 50 kilo, some bags full of clothes. You won't guess what this old retard came up with. You won't fucking guess.

I wouldn't have guessed either. Until he sadly enlightened me. "Anon, remember that neighbour who kept going to shamans? The one downstairs?". I wasn't sure where he was going with this. "Yeah I do, but what about her?". Oh how I fucking regret asking..."Because they LECHO cancer! And they healed her!" (Lecho sounds like polish word 'heal' or 'cure'). Oh my fucking God. He throws the open bag onto the glass table, out of which medical insruments spill out. The bag is heavy like a motherfucker, the table breaks, mom screams at dad, dad screams back that nothing happened and that he'll buy a new one, some dog in the corridor (since when do we have a dog?!) wans to take a shit cuz dad only feeds him lecho and has the same medical maladies as him. A fucking crawling circus. Yes, you guessed correctly. He wants to cure cancer with LECHO! I'm at my fucking limit. He called the uncle from construction, but when the call connected, I only heard a collection of the finest insults directed at my father. "Fuck him". He retaliated. He went to the post office to put up an ad to the newspaper. A couple of days later he found a new place with a giant fucking neon (yes, the one leftover from the factory)- here we LECHO cancer. He even recorded an ad with his phone, which he sent to our cable tv: a woman walks on the street and asks a bystander "where do they LECHO cancer?", and then my dad in a white lab coat jumps out screaming "HERE THEY LECHO!" and adress. I felt nothing but shame. I can't show my face in town. Patients are going in like crazy. As you can probabbly imagine, they don't cure cancer. Afer half a year my dad got found out by the government for not having a right to be a doctor. And it all went to shit. They gave him a year with possible parole, luckily he paid off with the insurance money from the factory. Now he fucking cries about how you can't do anything in this country. You had a great fucking idea you old moron. He was so furious he started eating and shiting lecho again. Until one day he brought home some newspapers: Polish Fisherman, Fisherman's World and Super Carp. And so it began...

[kleinerkiwi]

I‘ll share some life advice when it comes to dealing with a mouse infestation (because I had no idea that I would ever have to deal with something like that yet I have spend the last two days doing nothing but clearing up my mice infested basement). I am not a hoarder, everything was literally fine two weeks ago. Mice can destroy your life pretty fast.

Step 1: Find your basement stinking of mice shit and piss, see your belongings being lived in by mice. Call your mum and cry. Realise that she lives six hours away from you and can’t come over to help you. She can, however, give you instructions on how to get rid of the mice and follow them.

Step 2: go shopping and get: a bucket, disinfectant cleaner, vinegar, cloths for cleaning, a small brush, the biggest trash bags you can find, gloves and a FFP2 face mask (mouse shit can carry very harmful bacteria and viruses)

Step 3: get rid of the mice. I caught mine in a cardboard box and freed them outside. They can return, so put out traps and check on them regularly.

Step 4: the cleaning. Spray down everything with the disinfectant spray, so none of the shit particles fly around in the air. Get everything out of the room. Anything that was lived in by the mice goes in the bin. Any textiles go anyways (bye my guest bedding). Anything that was severely shat and pissed on goes away too (bye sleeping bag and camping chair. At least my tent and camping mattress were fine. My camping backpack was pissed on quite a lot but was fine on the inside. It was so expensive and I love it. I am disinfecting it for the third time because I need to keep it!). Brush all the shit together with the brush and put it into the trash bag. Put Hot water with disinfectant into the bucket and just clean the whole floor. Let it dry, clean the stuff that you will keep thoroughly too. Then go over the floor again and let it dry. Sprinkle vinegar on the floor because mice apparently hate the smell of vinegar.

Step 5: mice are not welcome anymore. Check every place the mice could have entered the basement and block the way. Leave no food or trash out and discard anything that could provide shelter for the mice. Through away the trash bags with the mice shit straight away. Throw away the bucket, your shoes and all cleaning supplies used in the clean up. Wash your hands thoroughly, take a shower and wash your hair. The clothes you were wearing go into the washing. Pray that you were not infected with anything the day before when you were throwing away stuff without wearing a mask. Check for the return of the mice every day.

[biobliterator]

the saviours of solana!!

[fyodior]

Hi my favorite little slut (I ran out of ideas to call you horny) It’s me again because I love talking to you, mwah. Now we all know I love Fyodor and you love Fyodor so I present to you: Dazai osamu, because I’m mean <3

JUST KIDDING. Anyways here’s some fukuzawa headcanons, because I’m a liar.

Ranpo Headcanons

Fyodor hates blue cheese with a passion, like he wants to abolish it. He even made a petition for companies to stop selling it.

Fyodor doesn’t cut his nails often because, 1. He bites them. 2. He actually lets them grow out. On the occasions that he doesn’t bite his nails he grows them out, and they’re kept clean and look quite pretty. He doesn’t paint them because he finds it dumb.

Fyodor accidentally started a small war between two countries when he was 16 by hacking into a government officials email. LMAO he literally shat himself when he saw it on the news but also kinda boosted his ego.

Fyodor tried selling Ivan on the black market. He only got one bid and it was from Dazai.

Fyodor lost his ushanka (his hat) one time and stopped everything he was doing to find it. Like he searched for hours. He left it on his desk where he was currently working.

Fyodor is lactose intolerant but still eats dairy like it’s no one’s business. Like he can eat an absurd amount of it in a single sitting.

Fyodor hates socks. He doesn’t like the feeling of them so if he can he’ll be bare footed.

Fyodor has an extensive shower routine but he only showers every three days. LMAO don’t worry he usually just smells like despair and blood.

Fyodor couldn’t figure out how to open a bottle of champagne and instead broke the very top of it off and drank it straight from the bottle.

Fyodor likes the piano music but hates pianist because he can’t play it. How that works idk? Also cello is harder to learn than piano 💀

Fyodor hates bananas, for no reason, he just hates bananas

Fyodor likes butterflies, like he genuinely finds them so pretty and fascinating. He could stare at them for hours.

Fyodor’s idea of savings, is having a piggyback.

Fyodor actually doesn’t care too much for his home country. He hates how cold it is and how it always seems to be freezing. He’s just dramatic though because they have pretty decent weather the rest of the year.

Fyodor likes BTS no im not explaining. His bias is Suga. Knows every single song by heart.

Fyodor one time ran over a man and subconsciously said “oh nice 10 points”.

Fyodor uses the laws as his bucket list 🫶

Fyodor can’t hold his liquor.

Fyodor wrote a whole manifesto about how trees are better than humans. It was quite beautiful. 10/10

Fyodor has a pet chinchilla named Pantene. Yes like the shampoo.

Fyodor dyed his hair blonde one time, because he was evading capture and he gets nightmares about it. He absolutely hates himself blonde. Cried for three hours when he first looked in the mirror. Genuinely had a breakdown inside of a 7/11 bathroom floor and almost had to re evaluate his entire life’s goals and ambitions. Got so drunk because he genuinely couldn’t stand it. He blacked out and ended up in Venezuela and ended up working for a shady business that sold perception glasses.

Sincerely your one and only liar 😘

Guess who I kin from bsd and I’ll give you dilf fukuzawa headcanons 🫶

-🪱

BDKSHDKAHDJSJDJSS THESE ARE ALL SO FUCKING UNHINGED LIKE I DONT EBEN HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD HHMSBFSKFNKADNZK

also @nameless-noodles drew us a wonderful depiction of blonde fedya

[zukuist]

stood you up [hcs]

“it sounds exactly as it looks like. they stood you up on a date, and they realize the damage.”

includes: todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, togata mirio (part one)

your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns used (quirk up to the imagination)

notes: ANGST 😳 IN MY BLOG?? never thought i’d see it but.. here we are. i plan on doing part 2 with other characters.

—

todoroki shouto

he wakes up on a saturday, as per usual.

and he’s kinda— no scratch that, he’s very irritated

because the other night— endeavor was bothering him about ‘not training properly’ and he was accusing him of slacking off.

which.. he’s not

his father also gave him a scolding (which lasted for hours.),

but nothing too bad. it was enough to make him irritated. so uh oh. todoroki’s really something else when he’s irritated.

and endeavor also blew up his phone with badly written text messages, telling him to train today.

so likely, he also woke up quite irritated.

he just wanted to drown himself in training and school work to forget about it.

completely forgetting the date HE said he’d take you on that afternoon, the date he planned a week before.

because he FINALLY got the courage to ask his crush aka you out. with the help of midoriya

like.. you pass him in the hallway— and before you were able to speak, he just kinda..

glared at you and walked away, not exchanging any words with you. he really needs to cool down

which was.. huh. 🤨 okay then. but you excused it because todoroki had a resting bitch face at some moments

it’s 5pm now, and he’s chilling in the common room— and he finally calmed down, and he’s back to his usual demeanor

midoriya walks in the common room, and he’s like “hey todoroki! how was the date with y/n?”

because midoriya helped orchestrate the date, he wanted to know

todoroki’s just like “fuck.” he forgot, and he also may have glared at you by accident.

realization is shown on his face, and midoriya is left apalled— begging him to “go find y/n quick!”

todoroki literally goes 🏃‍♂️💨 to the meeting place, which was the park in this case

and he can’t find you— so he scans the entire vicinity, and he can see you walking back to the dorm in a distance

immediately, he runs after you— calling for you to just wait and hear him out but you don’t turn back,

because you just want to lay in bed and sleep for 5 days

and besides.. he’s the last person you wanted to see right now

he grabs you, which makes him stop in place— “y/n, please just—”

“oh what now, listen? you were the one that asked me out, todoroki. and you just..” bitterness is in your tone, and he can’t even be mad.

your voice falters, and you were mad at first. but you’re just exhausted at this point

you guys haven’t spoke all day

“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry,” he apologizes, looking at your appearance.

you look beautiful, and he just wasted it by forgetting the occasion. he doesn’t want to imagine what you’ve felt in the last several hours

“my father scolded me last night,” he grips on your hands, brushing his thumb on the back of your hand,

“and it was for a long time. and i was just so frustrated by it, i even looked at you weirdly and forgot about the entire date i planned out for weeks. and i’m sorry. i understand if you don’t want to—”

“just stop, okay?” he looks up, and you don’t seem that mad anymore. “i understand. i just wished you told me about it, y’know?”

it doesn’t seem enough, so he pulls you into a hug, “i’m sorry. may i.. take you out again tomorrow? i promise i’ll make it right.”

you give him a chance, after all— you know he truly cares about you.

midoriya izuku

in this case, y’all are already together

but he wanted to take you out on a date— because you guys have been so busy, that you just had no time for any proper dates

so.. he wanted to take you out during the break, finally relieved by the hectic activities for a day.

out of everyone here, he’s the least likely to forget things like dates, anniversaries, etc.

but izuku being that person that’s always like “i have to keep training and training to master this quirk!”

he might have gotten.. overboard with the training. making him completely forget about the entire occassion.

during days like this, he’ll try to split his time by training for 2 hours and studying for the same amount

but homeboy got distracted 💀

too distracted to the point he didn’t even look at the clock once

and now it’s nearly 5pm (y’all were supposed to have lunch at 12)

when he heads out to go get a glass of water in the kitchen, he runs into bakugou on the way

bakugou looked displeased. and he hasn’t seen him look this displeased since middle school

“aren’t you forgetting something?” he says that in his usual tone, and izuku can only stare at him questioning

“your shitty thing with y/n. they walked in here looking like someone shat in their cereal.”

oh no

how could he.. forget?

izuku immediately storms off to your floor, knocking on your door

“y/n? y/n, can we please talk?” his heart is racing with worry, and he’s not even sure if you’re gonna answer the door

you begrudgingly open the door, but you’re not facing him— you’re still dressed in the clothes you wore going out

and it looks like you’ve been crying

“dear,” izuku wants to console you, but you don’t want to recieve his hugs right now— especially after he stood you up

“this is our only day off, izuku.” you try to make your voice sound normal, but it’s not really working

“i know, i’m sorry. i’m so sorry y/n. i forgot about the entire thing while i was training, and i know i made you feel bad. i’m just so sorry.” he apologizes to you over and over again

you don’t look at him, so he cups your face with his calloused hands—

his touch soft on you as he wipes your tears “please talk to me.”

you huff, “i know how much you want to train your quirk, and be the best at all times. i’m not mad that you want to do that, but i just wished you spent time with me, even if it’s just for a minute.”

izuku listens, and you’re right. you guys haven’t been the best with quality time,

and it wasn’t fair of him to just go out and suddenly forget the date he arranged.

“i’m sorry.”

“stop apologizing,” you sigh, “just bring some snacks so we can watch that movie you’ve been raving about.”

his expression lights up, and he dashes downstairs to retrieve the items

oh and.. how bakugou knows about y’all’s date? he totally suggested it

togata mirio

mirio has always been the best boyfriend for you

never forgetting anything, infact- he’s usually the one that’s always early to the dates

because he’s so excited to hang out with you!

but because of his quite friendly nature, he’s practically a chick magnet

girls swarming him whenever they could, doesn’t even matter that they don’t have to date him— they just want to talk to him

and while he’s nice to these girls, he’s not disloyal to you at all— and that’s why you don’t mind it,

because you trust him

okay but.. you don’t mind it when girls swarm your boyfriend, until it gets in the way

like.. one time he was supposed to be at a date with you— but he got surprised by a bunch of girls

and not wanting to be rude to them, he entertained them

and he considered cutting the conversation short but.. they just kept going and going

until he’s an hour late. y’all were supposed to get lunch together.

eventually, the girls go away— which so happened to be around the time tamaki and nejire started looking for him.

“mirio!” nejire called out for him, tamaki right next to her “how was the— wait, did you have lunch with y/n?”

mirio blinks, and that’s when he realizes that he messed up.

tamaki sighs, and he can only pat his shoulder— “mirio, i k-know you’re a nice guy, but don’t let yourself get distracted.”

nejire can only agree, “afterall, y/n’s the one you’re dating, not those other people.”

they urge him to go find you, and when he does find you— you’re sitting on a bench, not looking amused at all.

“hi mirio,” you deadpan, “how were those girls you were talking to?”

mirio knows he messed up, he really does! “i’m so sorry, y/n!” he tries to explain himself “they got me.. carried away.”

“mirio, i know that you’re nice. i let them talk to you because i trust you. but when you go out and do things like this.. it’s strange! really.”

you want to not be angry, since this was bound to happen— possibly the day where mirio just forgets about you entirely

“i’m really sorry.” he sighs, disappointed with himself, “i really love you, and i’ll only ever date you! but i should’ve dismissed them much earlier.”

your gaze softens, and you cup his cheek with your hand “it’s okay, mirio. i’ll let it be just this once, but please promise me that it won’t happen again.”

mirio nods “yes, yes! i promise. it’ll never happen again.” he smiles, reassuring you

“now let’s get something to eat. i haven’t eaten yet.”

“right, right.” mirio laughs, the tense atmosphere dissipating

mirio tries to be more direct with dismissing them from now on, especially when he has to be somewhere with you.

—

©️izukulie 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not steal❕

[the-aro-ace-arrow-ace]

What are your thoughts on how Vanya and five are each other’s favorite but when he comes back she isn’t interested in talking to him or seeing him. Especially since she believes he is still 13. I know she has issues with her family ignoring her and she clings onto Leonard, but five never ignored her or was mean to her. She has no reason to not see him. it’s not her fault she started the apocalypse but she still doesn’t apologize to him for creating the hell he had to live in, in s2

Salty. I am INCREDIBLY salty.

I mean, i get where Vanya is coming from, with the isolation and getting shat on from her family, but s i s.

She straight up leaves right after the funeral, possibly without even saying goodbye, as if her best friend, who she was leaving the lights on for, didn’t just return after almost 2 decades of being missing. He tells her that she’s the only one he can trust. And Vanya is twice like “u sure it was real tho?” As if she didn’t see him fall down the blue portal with glimpses of boomer looking five, visibly shaken, in clothes that was like 5 sizes bigger than him. I mean, okay, you’re concerned for you brother’s mental health, that’s good, but how about you hold it till the end of the world is prevented. Even if it wasn’t true, it’s like a week. Don’t tell him that he’s pulling it out of his ass on his 4th hour of being back and then act shook when he’s like “well this was a mistake, thanks for the support, sis, just what i needed, see ya :| “

Literally the only time Five ignores her is in the flashback with the photo. He even glances at her, then is looking pretty guilty when Vanya is yelling at veggie.

When Five finds her in s2, there’s no fear, no hesitation, no anxiety. He’s talking to her as if she wasn’t the one who caused the apocalypse he had to live in for a lifetime. Hell, he even protects her from that fact.

And the stand-off; girl is in no position to try and make demands, trying to blame the one who in s2 is literally a kid to her. “You’re the reason we’re stuck here in the first place.” fills me with r a g e. Just. No. Sit down.

Ok. I get she doesn’t apologize before she gets her memories back. That’s understandable, she didn’t know. But after the FBI? ?? ? girl?????? What’s holding you back??????

[noonmutter]

Revelation pt. 2

Daily Writing Challenge 2021 Day 17: Spellbinding/Disappointment

It took very little time before parts of his skin were burnt to an unnatural crisp. Terry knew a lot of injuries very well, burns among them; human flesh didn't do this when it was burnt. Not outside of an incinerator, anyway. He reflected that the Ember Ward might well qualify; the sheer intensity of the heat from the light might well just be that hot. But then he remembered that all he needed to do to counter the instant scorching was some clothes or one of those ridiculous parasols he'd seen, and that went out the window. Yep, just magic bullshit. He could sort out what it did, but he'd never be able to sort out why it worked.

He would have been content to hole up in one of the destroyed buildings, but they were, unsurprisingly, all claimed or constantly drawing in hopeful tenants. Terry was not up for that kind of fighting, not anymore. His body simply hurt too much, and he could feel himself moving slower and awkwardly to accommodate his wounds. He hadn't missed having a gun so badly in a very long time. None of these fancy morons had firearms, he would've been set for life. Or, well. Whatever this was. Unlife? Eternity? Whatever it was, it sucked. It sucked, and he was hungry.

And thirsty. He'd been offered tea by a particularly giggly venthyr with some insane hair and no shirt, but he wasn't about to trust that. He wouldn't have trusted that from a normal venthyr, he wasn't about to trust it from one that laughed that much. The guys with bags on their heads seemed safer, and following them had led him to insect hives that he'd been willing to risk. He couldn't identify them, they weren't tasty, and even a handful of them didn't amount to much, but Terry had very little left to lose. If he shat himself to death, he'd be very disappointed, but hey. At least he'd be done with this.

He hadn't been counting on hallucinating, though he probably should have. It was awfully mild, as bug-induced hallucinations went; just noises, a rising and falling ringing in the ear like he'd taken a blow to the head. Nothing visual, at least not that he'd been able to catch. It didn't interfere with his ability to move any more than he'd already been impaired, so he moved on, seeking more shelter. There was a temptation to either dig a hole and bury himself, or, more concerning and more powerful, to throw off the coat and just let the light take him. He ignored both of those with a quiet grumble of "Bugger tha'" and trudged on.

---

Terry found himself wondering for the thousandth time how long he'd been doing something, in this case, walking. It was maddeningly dull: Find a shady place. Rest a minute. Look for another shady place close by. Check clothes for holes. Go to new shady place. Repeat. Sometimes he'd have to fight someone or something off; sometimes he simply had to run to a new spot on the fly, earning a new scorch in the process. And all the while, he wondered where he was going. It was hard to remember what his original plan had been; was that the fault of the heat, or was that just part of the torment of the Ember Ward?  

The damn ringing noise had only gotten louder as time went on, which just seemed unfair. It was really the only solid proof Terry had that time HAD gone on, though, aside from touching his face to check for stubble. For the thousandth time, he reached up to do so, but this time, he spat a curse and tried to scoot back before he realized how stupid that was; he couldn't distance himself from his own arm by backing away from it. The newest burn had left a nasty, rip-like line of blackened, papery skin on his forearm, but this time, he spotted the angular golden lines and circles emerging from it.

He hadn't seen those in quite a while, as he thought back on it. For a brief moment, he felt comforted by it, but he chased that thought away with a hard shake of his head. Just because it was familiar didn't mean it was good. It was still someone else's mark on him, a visible sign of interference in his life, of subverting his will, and dammit, now the ringing was even LOUDER.

embrace it

Oh good. It was a voice now. Terry covered his ears with both hands, knowing perfectly well it wouldn't accomplish anything but needing to do something. Defiance was rapidly becoming his only salvation. He had only survived as long as he had by refusing to die, refusing to be beaten. Shouting "No" to the universe was the mental equivalent of punching himself in the thigh to dull the pain of a bullet in the shoulder.

Heat surged against his face, and he forced his eyes open, worried that he'd accidentally put himself out in the light again. Instead, the light had come to him, coalescing slowly into a humanoid head and torso, though it lacked a face beyond a pair of white eyes nigh-indistinguishable from its glowing golden frame. Terry froze; it didn't, raising a hand toward the sky and drawing energy into its palm.

With an irritated, incredulous "Shit," Terry bolted.

---

What had he done to this fucking thing to piss it off this much? Why wouldn't it give up? He'd already run so far, ducking under crags, diving behind walls, hiding under bridges, and even climbing a tree once. It had found him eventually every time (the tree was just idiotic desperation, really), announcing itself with a blast of light that rarely hit its mark, but was steadily burning away more and more precious cloth with each near miss. Terry was too slow for this, especially when every scrap mattered. If it weren't for the damned light he would have thrown the coat at the elemental and made a sprint for it ages ago. It felt like hours, it could've been minutes for all he knew.

His legs burned, his lungs burned, his whole body burned, literally in many places, but all he could do was run and hide. The stolen rapier had predictably snapped the first time he'd tried to use it and done nothing but earn him a direct blast to the chest for his troubles. Nobody he passed had any interest in lending him a hand. One of the little runty guys had yelled a request to keep his shoes when he died. In a better time and place, Terry might've shouted back an agreement, but he couldn't spare the energy.

let go

And that damned voice wouldn't shut up. Every time he narrowly avoided a beam, every time he caught a glimpse of his skin covered in glowing yellow circuitry, every time he had to flee, it chimed in. Almost literally, it was like a great bell by now, trying to rattle his brain and make everything even harder. Embrace it, let go, stay; it wanted him to burn, and he refused all the more. He'd rather have shat himself to death after eating demon bugs than choose oblivion willingly.

When a second elemental appeared, he realized he might not have to anyway. As ever, he clung to his defiance to find the energy to run, but he could feel himself running on fumes. He'd already been weak to begin with, and it had been a long, long chase. Even a madman spurred by sheer spite like him ran out eventually. Admitting it was the first step on the final decline, but he couldn't stop the thought from coming.

He was losing.

let it save you

He was tired. He was tired of running, tired of hurting, tired of fighting, tired of longing, tired of loneliness, tired of hunger, tired of nightmares, tired of fear, tired of suspicion, tired of dying... He was just so tired. He was tired of thinking, and thinking ahead, and overthinking, and re-thinking, and questioning thinking, and--

He caught himself losing track of the now, but it was too late. His ill-fitted boot caught on a rock, and Terry pitched forward, head over heels, feeling the coat tear away in great hunks. It took some skin with it before he could bring himself to a stop, narrowly avoiding rolling off the edge of a cliff.

He tasted blood. That, like the lines absolutely covering his body by now, was familiar, but it wasn't a good familiarity. An exhausted, distant part of his mind that had already thrown in the towel was kind of impressed he could still bleed. As more of his flesh burned, the handful of elementals converged on him, and he looked back over his shoulder. It was a long way down, enough that the bottom blurred into an indecipherable grey mass. He'd probably die if he jumped. But maybe he wouldn't?

He was definitely going to die if he didn't. If the sky didn't do it, the elementals would. They were gathering energy in unison like a creepy glowing firing squad, and they stared straight through him while they did it.

But in that moment where he tensed his legs in preparation to launch into the unknown, he hesitated. The bell sounded again, thundering loud enough that his ears bled and he nearly fell ass-first off the edge anyway.

a leap of faith

A dry, crackling wheeze of laughter escaped him. With one last look at the firing squad as they brought down their hands, Terry tore off the last tatters of the coat and fell backward into the abyss.

( @daily-writing-challenge​ )

[fuck-customers]

Apologies because this is long, but I just discovered this blog and really need to vent. This was a HELL shift. 1. Usually most people wear masks but on this day an insane number of people weren't wearing masks, so I had to keep reminding people to, my heart rate picking up each time because we have a sign in the window saying it's mandatory and regular announcements saying it is too. 3 people gave the excuse that they left it in their car, which isn't a great excuse considering we have a tiny ass parking lot and they can just walk out and get it. One cocky old man even told me he had covid a few months ago like it was nothing. 2. A lady and her bf came in. They were so rude and trashy. Neither of them were wearing masks and the lady wasn't even wearing a shirt, only a bra. I saw them and literally walked away. By this time I had no patience and knew if they said one thing to piss me off I wouldn't be able to check my anger. 3. Finally, to top it all off, someone got violently ill and shat down multiple isles and then instead of closing down the store the manager just called someone to clean it up and left it open...literally when diarrhea is a covid symptom and just general biohazard. So by this time I was at my fucking limit, clocked out and told them I was leaving an hour & 1/2 early because hell no. My manager was pissed and actually expected us all to keep working in the shit smell and potential covid exposure. On my way out I literally cried into my shift lead's arms and like the angel she is she said she'd stick up for me. Luckily I feel fine, but I've been quarantining since then and am going to get tested for covid tomorrow. Oh also I checked in on the poor coworkers who stayed to work, they said it took 2 hours for the cleaning crew to show up. So customers were just casually walking around and potentially through shit. So fucking glad I dipped.

[fandom-necromancer]

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder Part 2

This was prompted by an amazing anon! I hope you enjoy although it’s short!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 [Part1]   [Part3]

‘Asimov shat on the couch again!‘ Nines stood in the kitchen, preparing the bowl of bird food and cleaning the water trough as Gavin came barging in with his cleaning supplies, throwing away the dirty paper towels. Nines sighed. ‘Well, you complained about the aviary being too small.’ ‘Yeah, because it is!’ ‘I build it exactly according to guides on the internet.’ ‘Maybe the internet is wrong then. It looked too small, they deserve more.’ ‘They are just in there during the night and to feed, they can fly around the whole day’, Nines protested. ‘No wonder I’m the favourite parent.’ Nines dropped the water trough in the sink in frustration. ‘Gavin, you literally called your pigeon after a 2013 phone game.’ ‘Or because she had problems learning to fly, don’t you dare insult Flappy when you called yours after the phcking laws of robotics.’

‘Then you could at least help me build it. So it’s big enough for your taste.’ ‘But I already raised them when- You know what? Fine. I’ll help you. At least that way it’s perfect.’ Nines shook his head as Gavin took the bowl filled with seeds and left for their converted guestroom. They lived with their two pigeons for about a month now and when thinking about how strongly Gavin had spoken against the animals in the beginning it was almost ridiculous to see how easily attached he had become, trying to learn everything about their health and behaviour. After the first week he almost had become a real mother hen, looking after them every free minute and watching over their development. Nines was sure to have never seen him happier than the moment they made their first attempts at flight. Not that it sat any different with him, but Gavin truly was the favourite parent for them.

Nines cleaned the water trough, filled it and walked out of the kitchen to join Gavin. He found him sitting on the ground the bowl in his hand, both pigeons perching on his arms pecking away at the seeds. He couldn’t help but smile as he put the water down and took a seat next to him. ‘Guess I do have to build it alone. You look pretty occupied.’ Gavin leaned over to him and carefully placed a kiss on his cheek not to disturb the birds. ‘I’m sorry. I love you.’ ‘I know’, Nines chuckled and gently petted Flappy on her back. ‘I love you too. I’m happy you took to them so much.’ Gavin huffed. ‘How could I not? They are cute and far too pretty. Never really paid much attention to pigeons before you came barging in with these eggs.’ ‘You can easily overlook them’, Nines agreed and chuckled when Asimov tried to get a better grip on Gavin’s oversized sweater. ‘I’ll get to work then.’ ‘Okay! See you later!’

Gavin stayed quite a while in their guest room, watching their birds preen and flap from perch to perch. They would have to seriously renovate the room if they ever wanted to really use it again, but he didn’t really mind. Most of the furniture had been old stuff from his old apartment they didn’t want to put anywhere people would actually see it but didn’t want to throw away either. He stood up about an hour later, when the guilty feeling of letting Nines work on his own overcame him. But he didn’t get too far, as the doorbell rang. Frowning he turned around and opened it to two kids. They held a cardboard box with airholes in the lid in their hands and looked up to him.

‘Err… Hello?’, Gavin greeted them. ‘Hello! We’re from next door and we found a nest that’s fallen’, the first child said excitedly and the other one added: ‘Mom said your husband knows how to care for birds and to bring it over!’ They held up the box and Gavin looked at it perplexed. Clearly the children wanted him to take the box and his hands had already moved before his brain could catch up. ‘Thank you!’, the children cheered and ran off, leaving Gavin alone with the box. He lifted up the lid and saw four small eggs in a nest of sticks and feathers that suspiciously looked exactly like those Asimov and Flappy lost all the time. He closed the box again and shut the door, sighing deeply.

‘Oh, Nines will be pissed he has to build the aviary even larger once again…’

[>next part]

[xbutterflydreamzx]

Note-to-Self #5

‼️TW: laxative abuse and purging. This gets really graphic and stuff I’m so sorry‼️

Yesterday, I fasted for 24 hours and decided it would be fun to BINGE. I was clean from lax for 6 MONTHS. SIX!!!!!! I didn’t want to take them so I started purging but my sister was awake and my parents were coming upstairs so I only got 1-2 meals out. So, I did the only logical thing and set myself up for failure.

I woke up at 2am in PAIN. Went to the bathroom and it only got worse. Literally LIQUID was coming out and I passed out on the floor like 3 times and woke up to shit. It was horrible. Then I went to bed OUT OF BREATH. You’d think I ran a mile but really I just murdered my asshole. Anyways, guess who’s gonna do the same thing tonight. This dummy! 🤡🤡 I’m not complaining because I shat out like 5 pounds. Also, I’m waisiting all my money on a scale tmr. Cute.

[zertzertzhang]

I Need a Hero (Literally) Chapter 2: Deal

The viceroy was a small man. 

By that, Nezha meant no taller than four feet. Yes. He was that tiny. 

It made Nezha want to excuse himself and forget he ever accepted the case. 

“Ahem,” Viceroy Chen cleared his throat. The proud haughtiness that shrouded him minutes before had drained from his body, leaving a puddle of apprehension in his wake.

Nezha could practically hear the gears in Viceroy Chen’s head turn as he debated if he should even trust him.

It was no secret the Viceroy held the same, if not, worse opinion regarding Nezha. The way his beady eyes bulged like he saw the grim reaper himself was comical if under different circumstances.

Though to be fair, Nezha found glee with the fact his mere presence could silence the imp-like man of all arrogant pretense.

It warmed his heart to think that the Viceroy would shut up as soon as he realized he was under the looming shadow of the much taller young man.

“I would like to express my appreciation, once again,” Viceroy Chen emphasized. “For offering to save my bride from the hideous dragon. I will be forever in your debt!”

Staring down at the groveling man, Nezha snorted at the saccharine monologue. If there’s one thing he learned about Chentang Pass over the years, it was the discouraging amount of genuine gratitude and appreciation the people really held inside.

Viceroy Chen was the hallmark of all that. And Nezha would rather choke on a tang-hulu than hear another fake thank you from the old man.

“So you’ll speak to the town on my behalf to allow me full freedom to roam Chentang without the headache from villagers.” It wasn’t a question, more like an affirmation.

Never in his life would Nezha ever find it in himself to beg for favors. He always assumed the silent agreement between him and anyone else would be respected, lest someone wished to become the next barbeque for the community picnic.

“Y-yes!” The Viceroy stretched his grin a bit too wide, compensating for his chattering teeth. “Bring my bride in one piece and your wish is at my command.”

The pompous confidence of the man was the last straw. Nezha didn’t bother to hide his contempt as he leered down at the four-footed Viceroy.

“Don’t get too excited,” Nezha snapped. “She ain’t your wife yet. Who knows maybe the dragon gobbled her up after all these years.”

His outburst earned him a hard slap upside the head from Lady Yin. The mother sent him a dirty look, stunning the young man into momentary silence.

“My apologies, Viceroy!” Lady Yin exclaimed. “He woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He’s usually a sweetheart, I guarantee it!”

‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Nezha’ never existed in the same sentence. The fact that his mother, someone who his very existence tormented since day one, was the first to suggest so made him burst out cackling.

He never asked for compliments.

Slinging his waistcoat over his shoulders, Nezha blew out a whistle. “Whatever. I’ll get it done. Ya better pay up afterward or you’re dead meat.” 

Viceroy Chen whimpered a meek ‘of course’ before hitting the ground on his knees once more. Nezha wasn’t sure if he was begging for his life or repeating his broken record of thanks. 

Stupid. Tsking, he stepped out of the manor, ignoring the angry chatter from Lady Yin. Nezha hadn’t the heart to tell her to shut up, so he resorted to blocking the babble from her. One of the many perks of the reincarnation of a spirit orb.

His thoughts trailed back to the quivering Viceroy Chen, tangling into a throbbing mess that pulsed against his skull.

Whoever was in that pagoda was not going to have a happy wedding. Nezha still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact Chen had somehow become the Viceroy amongst all people. 

He shuddered at the thought of anyone willing to throw themselves at Chen. 

But Nezha was quick to jump over the negatives. At least the woman won’t be cursed anymore, so that’s a plus...He guessed.

Unlike him, no one was going to send a few kisses over and rid him of his problems.

There was no reason to feel sorry for some random stranger who had it better. Pushing the thoughts aside, Nezha found himself strolling near towards the beach, away from Li Manor. 

The sun was more than halfway done with its descent behind the mountains, reminding Nezha of the long journey from the Viceroy's manor. 

He craved a good stretch after sitting on a horse for hours on end.

Lady Yin noticed his change in route and was on edge in an instant. “Wait Nezha! Where are you going?”

Said man didn’t bother to turn around, rather waving a hand. “I need some time alone. I’ll be back in a bit.”

“But-”

“Relax, mom!” Nezha snapped. “I’m not gonna eat the kids.”

It wasn’t like Lady Yin was in the condition to stop him anyway. No one could. Nezha was off his steed within seconds, darting into the woods before anyone could open their mouths to protest. 

The night had just made its entrance not long enough when Nezha found his way back to the beach. He prayed it would help smooth the firing nerves he held down for the entirety of the morning, it usually did the trick. 

But the unrelenting growth of an uncomfortable churn in his gut stayed, not budging an inch. It drove him to a mental frenzy knowing he couldn’t control it.

“Ha! Knew you'd be here!” Taiyi’s face popped into Nezha’s view upside down without warning, nearly sending the young man flying backward.

“The hell old man?!”

Nezha almost felt a yelp escape him, but was thankful that it failed to do so. There was no telling what would happen to Taiyi if he caught Nezha ‘acting out of character’ again. 

Recalling the last time he wanted to beat Taiyi’s ass in, Nezha’s mind somersaulted before landing back to reality. Right, he promised himself he still had to set Taiyi’s pants on fire.

Unfortunately for Nezha, the slight gleam in his eyes revealed too much.

His master picked up on the red alarms in a second’s notice. Giggling, the deity bounced back a few feet, wagging his finger in Nezha’s face again.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Taiyi said. “I just got these last week on sale, too! You’ll have to wait a bit before you rip ‘em.”

Nezha snorted. “Sure. Be prepared for the double debt. I’ve wanted to go at you for a while now.”

Taiyi widened his eyes with comical intent, putting a hand over his chest in a horrid attempt to look heartbroken.

His student wasn’t impressed.

“You know gods don’t have heart problems right?” Nezha added. Raising a brow, he gave Taiyi a thumbs down.

Grumbling a string of unintelligible words, Taiyi glared. “You know you’re really petty right?”

“Nice to meet you too, kettle,” Nezha retorted, revealing his canines in a sharp smile. A smug look was rewarded to Taiyi, who’s face went through three shades of red.

“Garrrrgh!” Taiyi plopped down next to the youth, out of breath and comebacks. “You win.”

Nezha knew him well enough to know that the deity wasn’t just there to bicker over who had the best debating skills. But he wasn’t interested in beating around the bush this time.

“Seriously, what do you want now.”

Grabbing a pebble from the sand, Nezha made a neat toss to the waters, letting it skid across before sinking to the dark depths.

He waited, all the while digging his hands deeper into his pockets.

“Saw you didn’t come back,” Taiyi said. “Thought you died or something. Viceroy Chen has a very spiky reputation.” 

“Piss off!” Nezha growled. He rolled his eyes and trudged further into the water. “He nearly shat himself today.”

Taiyi didn’t relent. “Hey, I was just worried! You never come here for nothing.”

It was going to take a broken tooth to get Nezha to cooperate, and it was obvious it wasn’t going to be today. The deity sighed, flicking his feather duster in exasperation.

Oh, how he wanted to whoop that kid’s ass.

“Just thinking about things,” Nezha replied. Letting out a loud exhale, he continued, “Wondering how that friend would do if he were in my shoes.” 

His sudden response had Taiyi’s brows arching in inhumanly shaped degrees. Nezha never revealed his deepest notions without putting up a fight...Maybe ‘never’ was a stretch, but still.

Taiyi looked like he wasn’t sure what to believe. His perturbed pout of the lips reminded Nezha of a stunned fish out of water. 

“Dude, you look like you’re gonna kiss somebody,” Nezha joked. But his antics flew over his master’s head.

Clearing his throat, the deity threw him a look, not bothering with an argument of his own. The shift in Taiyi’s gaze turned to one of apprehension as if he was afraid of the conversation’s direction.

“You thinking of that old friend again? The one who played shuttlecock with you?”

“Yeah,” Nezha admitted. “It’s been a year since I’ve seen him.” 

He kicked another rock into the sea, whistling as he did so. Despite being a proficient master at masking his discomfort, Nezha had times when even the great bastard child himself couldn’t hide the unease on his face.

His fingers traced the wet sand, mindlessly painting creases onto the smooth canvas, then letting the tides wash it off. 

A curse gets lifted, someone gets married, and I get to fight a dragon. What’s not to like? 

The nagging pit in his stomach returned, tugging at Nezha’s mind like an unrelenting leach. Embarrassment had his cheeks flaming red, reminding him of his inability to even think straight. 

He prayed it wasn’t guilt he felt, given that his motto since day one was to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. The uncomfortable pressure in his chest was a pain in the arse, especially when there’s nothing to feel sorry about. Or at least he hoped.

Nezha was so into his head that he failed to detect the nearing footsteps above him. A pinch of his ears sent him howling, clutching at the pointed tips like they’d been cut off.

An overreaction, for sure, but Nezha wasn’t going to admit that.

“You know you still have me, right?” Taiyi asked. His lack of remorse over Nezha’s ears did him no favors as the latter scooted away in an instant.

“Of course,” Nezha grounded. “A wonderful friend who is so obsessed with me that he stalks me wherever I go.”

He hissed at him to make a point.

Taiyi whimpered. Nezha was positive he was seconds away from a breakdown, with the old man’s eyes enlarging into spheres the size of apples. 

The deity stomped his feet. “That’s because I care about you, ya little ingrate! I wiped your mess so many times I lost count. And here I am, thinking that we’re pals.”

Nezha wished his eyes would stay stuck to the back of his head. Thank god Taiyi was sober. He wasn’t down to haul a god with his magnified sensitivity back home at this time of day.

“Quit the guilt-trippin, old geezer.” He handed a spare handkerchief towards his master but made sure he stayed as far away as possible. God snot was not sparkling rainbows as people should know. 

Taiyi was back to his old self in a flash, completely disregarding his previous stance. Snatching the cloth away, the deity’s face lit up like a midnight lamp in the dark.

“See! We are friends! I bet I’m the only sappy old man to ever make you offer tissues,” Taiyi insisted. 

Nezha glowered. “Shut up!” 

His master beamed his vast mouth of teeth at him, inching closer while he was at it. “Ok la!” 

He plopped himself right next to Nezha, wiggling his butt into the sand as he tried to find the perfect position. After what felt like hours of him grunting and shuffling for the right comfort, Taiyi found the equilibrium.

Then he fell silent….Very silent. 

For once, Nezha thought even the crickets were the loudest things on Earth.

He could feel Taiyi’s eyes boring holes into the side of his face, but he held his ground, refusing to look back. The serene peace was much appreciated; he’d rather not break it.

If only he wasn’t that naive. If only he didn’t speak that fast. Because Taiyi couldn’t make it past five minutes. 

“So...When are we gonna leave?” The deity prodded him with his feather duster, oblivious to the twitching muscles on the youth’s face.

Nezha allowed himself to fall backward onto the sand face up, defeated.

He sighed. "Tomorrow."

Then it hit him straight in the chest.

Wait. What?! We-?

“Who’s ‘we’?” Nezha whipped around to Taiyi so hard he heard his neck snap. “Who’s ‘we’?!”

The deity twirled his feather duster, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, y’know. With all the fancy dragons and whatnot, I gotta come with you,” Taiyi said. When he saw the darkening shadows spread across Nezha’s face like wildfire, he backpedaled. 

“Plus, it’s more bonding time!” the deity added.

Nezha wanted to hit himself with a brick and pass out. He’d be lucky if he could even find a rock that could accomplish such a thing. 

“That’s what I meant,” he retorted. “You’re a literal stalker.”

Kicking a wave of sand at Taiyi, he stood up afterwards to dust himself off. His master paid no attention to the weak assault and continued his barrage of explanations.

“Why do you make it sound like I’m so desperate,” Taiyi wailed. “I’m simply doing my job of protecting my student and making sure he’s improving.”

Nezha snorted. “Yeah, right. More like making sure I’m on a leash.” 

Taiyi rolled to a standing position, albeit teetering back and forth. “I’m serious! I gotta keep an eye on you. Besides, I’ve got a bunch of magical treasures that could come in handy!” 

The attempt to convince Nezha tumbled into a pool of dung. But the last remark struck a reminder in Nezha. A lightbulb lit in his head as he came to a conclusion. The young man smirked as he stepped closer to the deity, an arm stretched out with an expecting hand.

“Give me the spear and sash and we’re good, old man,” he said. 

Taiyi shook his head at the offer. Clutching his belt like his life depended on it, he did his best to scowl at Nezha. “Nuh-uh. That’s not happening.”

The deity’s stubbornness made his student laugh. 

“Don’t make me light your ass on fire again,” Nezha warned. He held up a finger, a small flame already dancing around his hand, waiting for its command.

The color drained from Taiyi’s cheeks as he gulped down a big lump.

“Can’t do that. I Locked ‘em in a secret stash for emergency use.”

Nezha huffed. “Then unlock it.”

Crossing his arms, he stared down at the shorter god, not in any mood to drop the case. Under the circumstances, one would think Nezha could tower over a grown man. 

But that didn’t move Taiyi one bit. “I said I can’t. It’s got a password.”

By that point, Nezha lost all hope for any sense of normalcy. He needed to smash a rock. Badly.

Slapping a hand to his forehead, the youth threw a burning glare at his master.

“You forgot it didn’t you?”   

Taiyi rubbed the back of his head, mumbling something under his breath. “I don’t think so. I swear it’s on a paper somewhere back home.”

Realizing that there wasn’t going to be a way around him, Nezha slumped back. Taiyi was smart if he wanted to be. Whatever it was, he wasn’t getting his precious spear back. 

“Fine. You can come,” Nezha said. “Just don’t fuck things up.” 

“When did I ever?!” Taiyi complained. He extended the feather duster, trying to whack Nezha. There wasn’t a need to dodge it. The latter snorted, not impressed with the lack of effort. 

Nezha sighed. “Nevermind.”

He reclined back onto the sand, hands propping him up. The twisting feeling in his gut waned, but the residual spasms were still there. 

Getting married to a viceroy wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to a woman. And from the looks of Chen’s estate, he wasn’t lacking in the financial realm. 

Nezha smirked. It was probably the only height of his character, if he had any of that in the first place, of course. That princess was a lucky one.

Fuck it. No one ever thought of it. So why should I?

Shoving the last thoughts around Chen to the back of his mind, Nezha exhaled and rolled to his side. 

The cool gust of wind caressed his cheeks, whispering their soothing lullaby. Sleep was inviting him to its cave, and after a day like this, Nezha didn’t have the mind to refuse.

He was that close to closing his eyes when a tap on the head brought him to the surface of reality.

“Hey don’t fall asleep here!” Taiyi scolded. “Your mother’s not gonna let me live it down.”

Nezha felt the rush of burning flames course to the tips of his finger. A devilish grin broke into his lips. There wasn’t anyone there to rat him out. 

“You asked for it, old man.”

“W-wait stop! Help!” Taiyi shot up into the sky, a blast of light trailing after his rear-end like fireworks. 

In Nezha’s defense, the deity created exquisite colors. His only regret was not doing it sooner.

“You filthy lil’ brat!” His master’s voice rained from the top. “I told you this was new!”

But all Taiyi got in return was howling laughter from the young man below. Remorse wasn’t that popular in Nezha’s vocabulary, so an apology wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

A hint of a smile tugged at Nezha’s lips. At least he felt much better now.

Now that he thought about it, gods made really good fireworks.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --

Ao Bing watched as a general scrambled for the tower’s exit.

In just one year of guarding the East Sea Pagoda, he was able to draw a rough idea of all generals within the lands. They were crude, arrogant, boastful, and mannerless. 

The one taking his leave had created a new label all for himself; stupid. It wasn’t a word Ao Bing was proud of using. In fact, a tiny part of his pride cracked the moment he realized the man had tried to use a demon-repelling spell against him.

It did the general zero favors when he came bursting in while proclaiming his undying love for the maiden like he had known her for all his life. 

He waxed poetic about her smile, which he hadn't seen. He sang praises about her laugh, which he hadn’t heard. He went on for miles describing her hair, which he never touched. 

Furthermore, he made Ao Bing’s head throb with pity for whoever may have caught the monstrosity of a speech. 

The rescue party ended much worse compared to the others. If he was being honest, Ao Bing wouldn’t even want to consider it an attempt at all. 

He didn’t get the chance to practice his Thousand-Year Frozen Palm technique. There was no point. A single punch would’ve sent the general packing.

Humans were a double-edged sword. One moment they were the kindest souls, and the other they were hideous beings with no self-control whatsoever. 

Ao Bing was beginning to understand the unified distaste towards them from his clan. Take a man like that general and multiply it by the thousands and humanity would be littered with scum that could still call themselves a ‘man’.

Claws retracting, the dragon prince turned his head towards the room at top of the pagoda. 

The princess was staring at him. Her full lips pressed into a grim line, disappointment painted all over her features. A small voice inside Ao Bing’s head hoped she didn’t hear the other colorful things the general said.

If he himself couldn’t hold back the urge to vomit at the words of the man, he didn’t want to know how she would react if she did.

Thank god he never appeared in his human form in front of her, the guilt on his face would’ve eaten him alive.

She let out a visible exhale, before closing the windows with a hard thud. Ao Bing felt the rattle through the core of his bones.

It was surprisingly hard to tell whether or not she despised him. Even with the reality of him being her jailor, she had tried to get him talking multiple times since he started his mission; mostly pointless questions around mundane things. 

As per Shen Gong-Bao’s request, Ao Bing never turned up in human form, never spoke back, and never initiated a single interaction. It was a good idea, though. He couldn’t have his emotions blocking him in the long run.

The curse wasn’t for him to break. There was nothing he could do.

But the cold sweat of shame ran down his spine, seeping into the skin of his back. It made him queasy, though he didn’t dare voice it.

Ao Bing sighed, padding across the palace. It was easier to think of his people whenever his mind wandered too far.

Yes, He was doing this for them.

Ao Bing’s thoughts rang a bell, as the familiar footsteps of Shen echoed in the hallways as soon as he finished his musings.

Forming from the shadows like a phantom of the night, the leopard demon morphed into the shape of a human. His yellow eyes glowed beyond the dark like burning amber. The brewing colors hid the storms of thunderous unrest despite his master’s poised exterior. 

“I-I-I assume you h-have mastered the T-Thousand-Year F-froz-z-en Palm technique?” Shen inquired. His spindly fingers thumped against one another in frantic dance, betraying his calm veneer.

Ao Bing made no attempt to hide his progress, saluting Shen with a confident bow.

“I have, Master. I’ve perfected bloodstream paralysis of pressure points. It can now be done in one strike.”

Shen Gong-Bao was elated. His eyes narrowed into crescent-shaped moons as he clapped his hands. Even Ao Bing had to admit it was very rare to see his master genuinely smile. 

It raised the young dragon’s spirits somewhat.

“E-excellent!” Shen rested a clawed hand on Ao Bing’s shoulder, patting him with good nature. “You’re o-on the right t-track-k! You’ll be able t-t-to overpower the d-demon orb s-soon enough!”

The mention of the demon pill sent Ao Bing’s horns vibrating with nervous anticipation. There was no room for him to mess up.

All he had to do was track down the reincarnation of the demon orb, hold him off long enough in front of thousands of humans to be struck by lightning, and then win the Jade Emperor’s favor. 

His father would be freed, and it would be worth all the blood he shed along the past three years. 

Shen broke into his thoughts once more, rattling his trail of plans out loud. 

“Who knew th-that this girl’s c-curse would serve as the best t-tr-training g-ground for you. I-I’d have to thank w-w-whatever s-stupid god that did it.”

Ao Bing forced a smile to the surface. He wasn’t too keen on getting into the details of the curse. The less he knew the better. 

But his body failed to find a muscle to refuse the beaming leopard demon in front of him. He hated to disappoint, and over nothing at that.

Glancing up at his master with stifled unease, Ao Bing waited for the next command.

“Y-your father would be p-pr-proud of you,” Shen continued. “You’ve a-accomplished more th-things than any members of y-your clan could dream of. You j-ju-just have to defeat the demon orb now. I-I have faith in your s-success.”

A calculating gleam flashed across Shen’s eyes, silencing the doubts in Ao Bing’s mind. The young dragon felt a cold wave of resolution wash over his back.

His master was right; winning was the only choice. Ao Bing couldn’t have anything in his way. 

Life was never known for its fairness in all the years he’d been alive. What did he expect?

  The dragon prince felt the corners of his lips tug downward. He should be grateful for how the events turned out, worse things could’ve happened. 

It was as good as it was going to get for everyone.