#literally said i was tired of being nice it's time to go apeshit

[cymk8]

infernal iron

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 778: “Hakogaku's sprinter”

Pag 1

1: Izumida-san!!

2: I'll use it

“Hurakan”!!

Pag 4

1: This year's May

2: Ibaraki Prefecture

West Tsukuba

3: Tsukushiba University, located at the foot of the sacred eastern mountain, Mount Tsukuba, at 887m above the sea level

4: In front of the second dormitory building on the campus

5: Basically, Doubashi

You mean you want to race me in a serious sprint battle...

Pag 5

1: Yes, please

This might be a weird way to say it, but

2: In Hakone Academy... among our team, there's no one who can be my opponent!!

3: Alright, then I'll gladly accept!!

4: I, Izumida Touichirou of Tsukushiba University racing club!!

First year at Tsukushiba University, department of science and engineering, former Hakone Academy captain

Pag 6

1: Former Hakone Academy ace sprinter

2: The area around the university is a town, but if you go out of it it's really easy to ride, Izumida-san

3: There's both flats and mountains, it's a good place for biking

4: Did it take long to come to Ibaraki?

5: Coming here from Kanagawa, you have to cross Tokyo, so... yeah

Honestly, I had to change so many trains...!!

Pag 7

1: Is Manami doing alright?

Yeah, he's so carefree, but sometimes he says something serious too!!... I guess?

Sounds like Manami

2: Ngh....!!

3: Dammit.... this is so fun!!

What's this!! We're just riding our bikes and talking, but I've missed this feeling!!

4: When I was a second year and Izumida-san was a third years, we practiced like this every day!!

5: Sometimes Izumida-san was the one who attacked, sometimes it was me, and we pushed each other to our limits

7: It's not the time to smile about this!! I've come here to become stronger!!

Pag 8

1: Sorry, Izumida-san!!

I got too relaxed for a moment!!

3: It's good to relax

That's important, too

5: There's as many roads to ride as we want!!

So, which one is better? You can choose

For today's menu!!

6: An easy course with a 100km run along the roads of Ibaraki and a sprint at the end

Pag 9

1: Or the hard course, cut into section, with a final sprint when we're giving our all!!

4: Of course!! The hard one!!

6: Since it's you

Pag 10

1: I knew it would come to this!!

Abs, read?

2: Go!!

Pag 11

1: Abs, abs, abs, abs, abs!!

Buoooorah!!

Pag 12

1: Buah!!

2: Doubashi!!

You've really gotten stronger!!

3: If it were you from last year, you wouldn't have been able of getting ahead on a short climb like that before!!

4: Izumida-san, you're the one who has powered up!!

I seriously think I'm gonna be torn apart right now!!

5: But this is what I wanted

Pag 13

1: An opponent to race against in a fierce and close battle!!

During that you become stronger, and move to the next stage!!

2: Abs, Doubashi!!

Rise!! With that body!!

3: More....

4: Give me more, Izumida-san!!

6: Alright, I'll show you a sprint that will make you regret those words!!

Pag 14

1: Abs!!

Come!! Masakiyo!!

2: Buooorah!!

Izumida-saaan!!

4: Today was fun

Pag 15

1: Thank you

Well, I'm beat, Izumida-san

2: In the end, I lost at the final sprint

You rode well, you drove me in a corner until then!!

3: Did you see it? Your next stage

Yeah... well, little by little, but...

4: But I'm just a little closer, I feel like I can grasp something, but I can't

5: That's because you're too serious

6: And you're an hardworker

7: You know, there are two types of “right”

Huh

Pag 16

1: There's what's socially right

And what's right for yourself

3: Rules and norms, things that must be observed when living together, are what's socially right

The other

4: are the feelings in your heart you won't give up

6: Actually, both of these are “right”

Pag 17

1: But, sometimes these two go into conflict

2: Feelings....!!

“Feelings are strength”.... Izumida-san said that before

3: When something wrong happens, you end up resorting to violence, you reflexively curse at people

However, what should be restrained is the “action”

4: Not the feelings themselves

5: If you don't like something, you can get angry

6: No but, Izumida-san, if I just blindly do that.....

7: And when you're happy

Pag 18

1: you can honestly smile

2: I got too relaxed for a moment!!

4: There's no need to deny it

Those obvious “feelings” that are boiling inside you!! You can smile because you've missed something

5: The feelings that came out amidst of your own study and research and suffering

Where is the mistakes in that?

6: Even if you took a detour, there's no lie in your hard work!!

8: Release yourself more

Lead the path of your own heart

Pag 19

1: Polish what's right for you!!

2: What's “right”.... for me....!!

3: I understood it riding together with you today

You're already good enough for the next stage

You

Pag 20

1: will become much stronger!!

Buoooo!! Smash through!! “Hurakan”!!

[dandelionjack]

as a natural skeptic i’m gonna be real with you. i’m slamming the brakes on this whole religion thing before i figure out what it really is that i believe. one thing i know for certain is that i don’t think my experiences of the world relate to what you call “hard polytheism” at all, so i will be refraining from referring to myself as “pagan” or “heathen” or similar terms from here on out — as i learned from reddit, actual pagans, i.e. those of you who believe that the Gods from whatever pantheon you follow are literal, actual, 100% independent, non-anthropogenic, non-metaphoric entities, tend to frown upon talk of “archetypes” and co. i don’t want to be seen as insulting your Gods with my home-brewed eclectic woo-woo nonsense, so i’ll keep at an arm’s length until i’m one hundred percent sure that i can defend my own beliefs because i know what they are.

i personally lean towards the chaos magic side of approaching these concepts — although, truth be told, i need to do more reading. a lot more reading. but once again, i stress, personally, i find myself far more comfortable with the concept of egregores. metaphysical entities, congregations of energy and intent, that have been given power and consciousness through centuries of dedicated devotion and prayer from humans. if enough people direct their thoughts towards an idea for long enough, leave offerings for that idea, hold festivities in its honour, write poetry and paint artworks depicting and praising it, then it’s no wonder if it gains a mind and will of its own. i lean towards the idea of deities/other spirit entities as personified aspects of the universe, as currents of energy or patterns of thought or representations of natural phenomena that were given different (or many) names in different historical/geographic contexts and have taken on a semi-solid shape with time

which is to say, i don’t know whether the Presence that has been visiting me — the one that rekindled/sparked/ignited my interest in all of this, pun quite intended if you know who i’m talking about, is genuinely the ambiguous, controversial Norse deity that i have been referring to Them as; whether They are some kind of thoughtform or another separate spirit; a manifestation of my subconscious desire to “Aren’t You Tired Of Being Nice Don’t You Just Wanna Go A Little Apeshit”; or a character i Made Up In My Head (not outside of the scope of possibility, knowing my tendency to spot patterns where there aren’t any). i’m treading with caution. that’s what you do. because after doing some wider research, i really, really don’t wish to be associated with that sort of person — you know the one. edgy. rebellious kid. doesn’t know what they’re talking about. witchtoker

after all, i did come here through pop culture. so, maybe, all this ends up being is another hyperfixation on mythology. i’ve had those before as a way younger teen — thanks, uncle rick. don’t really know how to conclude this, so: i’ll get more educated and get back to you. if any of you (you know who you are) have any BOOK or ARTICLE RECOMMENDATIONS based on what i’ve said above, please don’t hesitate to PUT THEM IN THE COMMENT SECTION

xoxo, ivy

[the-meme-monarch]

Can you explain Strange Someone Frisk’s motivations a bit more? I don’t really understand how they could go from being a nice supportive kid to tampering with things in DR

well frisk Does appear to be nice and nonviolent even without the SOUL’s control (sans saying “even when you ran away you did it with a smile” and seemingly feeling guilty for taking more than one piece of candy (the bowl tipping over and the narration saying “you felt like the scum of the earth”(unless that’s just chara trying to guilt them/you)) and we know from deltarune that while the SOUL controls what frisk and kris do, where they walk and what they say, it doesn’t control how they say things, like kris saying things sarcastically/confusedly/as a joke when it’s a choice they don’t particularly agree with (like the “perish” being said enthusiastically, or saying they’d go to the festival w ralsei or noelle and not sounding like the Actually Want To).

and similarly to kris ithink ss frisk feels. lost. without the soul. in the context of the au, frisk doesn’t remember anything before falling into mt ebott. idk it’d they even remember their life before that day. idk if they even had one. they maybe convinced themself that they were literally made for their role, and didn’t exist before then. maybe them causing problems through the secret bosses is them trying to get the SOUL’s attention, bc the SOUL’s influence is all they know, and they know the SOUL is here now.

they’re messed up in a similar fashion as jevil and spamton (and presumably the other secret bosses we have yet to meet) but where as they were Told by frisk about their roles as characters in a story, and jevil’s method of coping being that he’s “free”, and spamton’s is by trying to escape, frisk was made aware by their firsthand experience, and has turned to telling the secret bosses. and well, while i don’t know Why frisk would let this knowledge upon them when they’d been previously kindhearted, maybe it has to do w like. their life being entirely upended by the game ending and being shunted out of that universe as a result. maybe they feel cheated. maybe they feel that doing good isn’t worth it. maybe they feel like they can’t do good without the SOUL telling them to do so. maybe they don’t even realize or think that what they’re doing is causing harm, maybe they think that telling them What’s Really Up is a good thing. they did actually help spamton, for a time.

think that makes flowey’s plea for the player not to reset, to leave the game alone let frisk have their happy ending, kinda. ironic. not that resetting Would Have done them any favors either.

also if i was made fully aware that my life was little more than a means to tell a story i think I’d snap a little bit too. my life is a game maybe I am tired of being nice, maybe I do just want to go apeshit. maybe I’ll cause some problems on purpose

[gaykingslayer]

Thoughts on Will? I know you talked about him plenty already but I would love to hear some unpopular opinions/headcanons/thoughts you haven't gotten to talk about in general

this man literally altered my brain chemistry and I'm 100% sure that if I had never read RA I would be a whole different person. Cracking open those books at the age of 9 unleashed all that pent-up autism and I was so so unhinged about him and that entire series. I wanted to be him so badly and gods I tried to be, took up archery, my parents gave me knives and I shamelessly walked around with that ranger cloak my mum sewed (fun fact on Helloween I always go as a ranger because its the only costume I own). Yes, I was the Weird Kid, but my love for that man gave me the confidence to be obsessively weird about anything I liked. And I'm so happy about that because otherwise, I think I would be so hobbyless and afraid to be cringy about anything. In other words, I love him.

I made my trans!will headcanon clear a bunch of times already so we're going to dive into my headcanon for that headcanon.

I like to think that as time passed and will got more comfortable in his identity that he stopped cutting his hair short. He cut his hair short because it made him feel more connected with his masculinity and it felt like something he needed to do because it was something a lot of men did. So when he started growing it out he was finally at that point that he realized that he doesn't need to go out of his way to change things he liked just because other men were doing it (HE LOVED HIS LONG HAIR!!!). In my heart, his hair got almost as long as Alyss's and he cut it off after she died because she often brushed, braided or tied it back for him and having to do it himself was too painful. Will rocked an almost bald head for a while before he started growing his hair out again, but he never let it get too long.

When john said will is short he meant it. That man is not taller than 165m (5'4) and it's a fact because I said so.

One of the headcanons I live most fiercely by is that will was a fucking mean asshole in the TRR. I know it's a children's book and all but I feel so robbed of will being mean. I've 3 wips set in TRR (ish) and I love making him say stuff that would have you laying awake at night staring at the ceiling if someone said that to you. Why isn't he so tired of being nice, why doesn't he want to go apeshit???

for unpopular opinions...this might get my homo card revoked, but I actually don't like hill. *sirens go off, bombs fall on my house, my family is dead*. The concept is nice but I'm just way to obsessed with willys to see him with anyone else. I do like myself some hill content but I'm happy john doesn't do gay people because I don't think it would've worked in canon.

[berriniki]

thank you for noticing — yang jungwon

includes: class president! jungwon, café employee! reader, gn! reader, like one curse word

wc: 1.2k

being class president is hard.

“jungwon, can you hand this to ms. lee in the teacher’s lounge?”

he literally just sat down.

“sure! of course.” he smiles as he takes the papers from the teacher to take to the teacher’s lounge. he’s so tired. he didn’t even want this job, but the class runs as a democracy, so he was voted to this position with some girl. the girl doesn’t even show up to class, he doesn’t even know how she got elected, but the one time she did show up, her friends ganged up on her and voted her up there for fun. so most of the time, it was just jungwon doing all of the class president duties by himself. the student body can praise him all they want but no one even thinks to help him when he’s running around running errands for teachers, some of the teachers he didn’t have or never had but they somehow knew his name.

he quickly puts on a small smile as he knocks on the teacher’s lounge, sliding the door open shortly after. the teachers are sitting around, sipping on some coffee, some even looking through papers they have to grade, but jungwon walks past them to get to ms. lee, who notices him and smiles warmly.

“jungwon! papers mr. kim owes me?” she holds out her hand and jungwon hands over the small stack. jungwon nods and smiles politely.

“i think so.”

ms. lee coos at him.

“ah, how cute you are. i wish my son was as cute as you.” she gushes. jungwon manages to keep smiling but he felt uncomfortable. he quickly excused himself, wanting to get back to homeroom before class officially started so he could read over his flashcards he made for a test he had today. as he breezily walks through the hallway, he is greeted by numerous people, a lot of them trying to stop him to talk but he apologizes with a pretty smile and continues on his way. a teacher stops him, forcing him to actually stay for a conversation. luckily, it was short, just the teacher reminding him of the meeting all the class presidents of his grade have to attend. he dreads it, just wanting to go to the café that the school recently opened up on campus for some bread and go home, but he smiles and nods, quickly saying goodbye before going back to class.

he makes it 15 minutes before the bell rings, giving him some time to look over his flashcards. he makes it to his seat and he takes his flashcards out from his bag and tries his best to pour over his flashcards, but every now and then, people would break his concentration for something.

“jungwon, do you know where the teacher is?”

“jungwon, do you know the answer to this question?”

“jungwon, can i use the bathroom?”

the last one really ticked jungwon off but jungwon said yes, because you as a high schooler can use the bathroom without having to ask another high schooler. not verbatim, the majority of it in his head, but man was jungwon upset. jungwon this, jungwon that, he just wants to study, can someone please grant him this single wish. he needs to get this material down, this test a good chunk of his grade but he can’t focus if people keep asking him for whatever they have in mind.

god he’s so tired.

he didn’t even get through halfway his flashcards when the teacher came in and started class. he takes a deep breath and continues on with his day, the test waiting for him next period. he takes it, answers the questions the best he can with the little information he was able to cram, and leaves school later that day with his possibly horrible test grade still haunting him.

maybe he should stop being a pushover.

he thinks as some students smile and wave at him, quickly changing his tired frown to a bright smile to wave back. it’s ironic, but he has a reputation to uphold. maybe one day, he’ll go apeshit and stop being nice.

he walks across campus, taking the couple spare minutes he has between the end of school and the meeting he has to attend to go to the café. he sighs at the thought of the meeting.

he opens the glass door and the bell rings, the sound of a pretty voice greeting him joyfully. he puts on a smile and walks up to the counter, the cashier waiting for him by the cash register with a sweet smile. they’re beautiful, the thought coming into jungwon’s head without him realizing until he sucks in a nervous breath. pretty people make him nervous.

“hey there! what would you like today?” they greet happily, smile inviting and warm. he tries his best to return it.

“i would like a cream bread and a hot chocolate.” he orders, not catching the flash of concern that appears on their face before it’s quickly covered up by a smile.

“coming right up!”

jungwon hands them the money and they go behind the display counter to take a cream bread out with some tongs and place it in a brown paper bag. they hand it to him.

“sit around, i’ll get your hot chocolate ready.” they smile and jungwon returns it with a nod. they scurry around behind the counter and jungwon sits down at a table. he checks the time on his phone. he has some minutes before the meeting starts, so he just sits and waits.

someone else comes eventually with his drink, the cashier taking another student’s order. he frowns, but he thanks the waiter, even though he was hoping to see the cashier up close again. but then he turns his cup, and there’s a note on the paper cup sleeve.

you seemed stressed out, i hope you feel better soon !! i’m sure whatever you’re stressing out about will turn out completely fine —yn

he smiles, this one genuine, the first genuine smile that came easy to him. it didn’t feel forced, and it was from a stranger he had only met minutes ago. he gets his bread and his hot chocolate, and he starts making his way to the door. he looks back to you and he makes eye contact, face growing warm when you smile at him and wave goodbye. he waved back as well and speeds back to the main building for his meeting.

at his meeting, he finished his hot chocolate and he lets the empty cup sit on the table as the meeting continued. except someone kicked the table as they were getting up and his cup knocked over. he doesn’t freak out since the cup was empty but his eyes catch black writing on the bottom of the cup. he raises his eyebrow and looks at the bottom of the cup to find someone’s number, his brain clocking on that it’s your number.

he fumbled for his phone once the meeting ended, his knee impatiently tapping during the rest of the meeting, and punched in your number into his messaging app. his hand stills over the keyboard, unsure of what to say, but he settles on this.

thanks for noticing i was bummed out, especially when no one else did

a/n: ig this is a fic and not a timestamp or they’re the same thing but one has a funkier name. anyway, i dedicate this fic to sei because she requested this prompt and i am forever grateful for that<33

[1nvad3rz1m]

I only watched the movie once, so maybe my mind twisted the things that happened in it, so if I am wrong about any of these, people will probably proove me wrong anyway, which is fine, I'd appreaciate that, because getting a new/clearer perspective is always nice.

First: One of the things I liked about the original series that it didn't want me to feel sorry for the characters, (it just showed the situation and the audience could judge it themselves,) but I did anyway, however I felt like the film wanted me to feel sad for Dib and take his side? I don't like when the source material tries to spoon-feed me what to feel about the character, whether it's positive or negative.

Besides Membrane's "I am proud of you" feeling rushed, it is only me or Gaz standing up for Clembrane has something odd about it? I cannot put my finger on what it is really. It feels like to me it is supposed to be a cute moment, but similarly to the "proud of you" I think it needed more development? Maybe I am just underestimating Gaz's niceness...

And the "I only hurt you when/because I know you can handle it" or something like that leaved a bad taste in my mouth, I know it's probably supposed to be the: "Aww, cute sibling moment! Gaz knows Dib's limits! And she wouldn't let her brother seriously hurt!" but it feels it's there to make Gaz look better and have an emotional moment. The only explanation I can come up with is that Gaz doesn't recognize the severe consequences of her actions to her brother's mental health, which with the father they have I am not suprised about.

+This one is just a personal preference, but I thought Tak's ship's attitude in the comics was funnier about hating Dib and Zim than in the movie. In the movie they convince her to help in a kinda cliché way? I mean it's not bad, and it doesn't feel out of character, and I know they needed it for the plot, but it feels kinda underwhelming to me considering how the show (and a lot of the comics) goes against the clichés without feeling "just for the sake of it" and it makes logical sense, like in the issue where Dib outs Zim to the pants "he'll just betray you" and you'd think the pants join him, and later become friends/allies because that's how it is in other media, but they are like "Thank you for telling us, we defeat him and when he is out of the way, the planet is ours". They literally just used the information for their own advantage without feeling guilty about it and it's so refreshing! I wish they didn't cut out the ship going rescuing Tak, because it would have made the relatively easy co-operation make more sense. (Although maybe the ship just listens to Gaz better than to Dib) But probably time/budget issues came up.

Also it's probably gonna sound contradictory because of what I said prior, but I felt like at some point the writers tried to make us stop caring about Zim in the comics and they kinda successeeded in that for me, because I just started to find him so annoying and tiring and idiotic that I wouldn't have cared if he would have just got written out of them. Why is it so common when a villain goes down in a huge self-destructive path, they become the most boring, pathetic characters in the story? If you want them to get worse than they already are why not have them go completely apeshit? A more competent, vile douchebag, who doesn't let anyone to get in their way? Why not show their true potential? It seemed like it was something like that where it was going first, Dib getting a hero arc, Zim becoming a better bad guy, but it was dropped? (Yeah, Zim didn't like his future self, but come on...) Maybe the problem is me not appreaciating that, because this isn't illogical, people can stop caring and become aimless/self-sabotaging, but I am kinda tired of them being treated like a joke, while we're supposed to take the opposing team seriously. And they didn't really did anything with the changed dynamic? I mean beetween the two main ones, since at least they continued the Membrane family plotline...

That makes it sound like I hate the movie, but I am not. I am more mixed about it if anything. I could talk about in a similar amount what I liked about, but for this I just focused on the aspects I found negative. And for the comics: I like most of them actually, don't let me fool you with me focusing on mostly what I don't like.

Again: Disagreements or other arguments are also great. This is not meant to insult people who enjoy those aspects, these just didn't work for me.

hoo boy * rubs my hands together * under read more for length!

YES exactly. i couldnt put it into words before but yes, this is it. the series you just kind of...incidentally feel bad for the characters because theyre so pathetic and self destructive. its not something they WANT you to do, it just kind of happens naturally. the movie tries HARD to make you feel bad for dib and side with him and feel satisfied that his family was "fixed". and it did the opposite for me at least LOL

on gaz, yeah, it was funnier when she was just fucked up and horrible. she kind of sort of cares about dib, but shes also similarly affected by her fathers neglect and dibs shunning from society. she has a reason to act out and be horrible and it just made more sense character wise. in the movie it feels like thats missing, because now membrane is a better dad and dib is "growing" or something and idk! cheapens her overall.

i hadnt put much thought into it before but yeah ur right, probably just needed to move the plot along somehow unfortunately because they declawed zim and dib and usually they play off each other enough to progress plots loll. theres been a reliance on taks ship to me that i dont understand considering shes like barely present in the show but u know...sci fi stuff

for zim: yes. absolutely yes TO ME it seems like the writers now mostly related to dib which...find me an iz fan that doesnt. but they simultaneously dont have any appreciation for zim, and treat him more as only a thorn in dibs side than his only salvation in the face of a world that doesnt give a rats ass about him. zim is an obstacle to dibs happiness, or a tool to get it,and not his happiness in and of itself.

i feel this happens a lot as series are getting revivals especially when the series are decades old, opinions shift and even sometimes new writers who were previous fans may have skewed opinions because of fan content they participated in. sometimes this can be great, sometimes...eh.

and its no secret jhonen has grown so tired of iz and i truly do not blame him. and in an age of revivals and reboots...it only worsens creators attitudes towards franchises that have had their runs but companies want to milk more out of it (see craig mccracken and the ppg, for example)

i dont want people to think i hate florpus (or the comics) either because i really, truly dont! like i said, its a good movie on its own and id watch it again. my only gripes is how disconnected it is from the og material, and how that contributes to discourse amongst fans and interpreting the characters.

to me etf is like..an alternate timeline almost. it doesnt feel like a continuation, it feels like something else entirely different. im glad it brings in traffic, im glad people like it and discover the series and decades of fan love and appreciation even if they like etf more. i just have complex opinions abut it ig, and why it feels like invader zim lite instead of invader zim. invader zim as a series was so distinct from everything else and it still is, and etf just doesnt have that same spark to me!

[lunar-wandering]

me? making my own Monkie Kid roleswap/personality swap AU??? haha, no way.....unless-

anyways I do not have a name for this AU yet but I do have content lets go-

---

- Red Son runs a coffee shop, and befriends literally every person that enters the building. (his parents support this endeavor and supply him with money.) *gives him a light green jacket instead of a red one. hksdfjsfkjs he got them christmas tree vibes-*

- MK started working part time in Red’s coffee shop about 2 months ago, and has been shyly starting to warm up to being Red Son and Mei’s friend. *light lavender jacket + yellow headband*

- Mei doesn’t have a motorbike, because she’s trying to separate herself from her parent’s money. She just has a normal bike instead. *SOFT PINK JACKET TO LIGHTLY CONTRAST WITH THE GREEN IN HER HAIR HELL YEAH-*

- Mei and Red Son have known each other for a while, and they’re both doing a kinda.. vigilante thing together, defeating rogue demons... while also protecting the Monkey King’s staff from being taken, as it currently seals the White Bone Spirit.

- Mei tends to do most of the heroing stuff, while Red Son does more of the tech stuff. Red built Mei’s hero suit and gadgets, he very rarely actually goes out and fights himself.

- Sandy is the one who actually owns the building Red’s coffee shop (and secret underground hero lab) is in, and supports them in their efforts. He treats their injuries if needed.

- MK has no idea about any of this.

- MK lives with Tang and Pigsy, who are both history professors at the local university. Pigsy sometimes drops by the coffee shop to tell a story or two, Tang is typically too busy working to come along.

- one day, Mei and Red Son get a notification that “Monkey King’s staff has been pulled” and they’re both like “uh, thats probably not good” and then they show up at the location, to find the WBS is already gone and-

- MK is there. holding the staff.

- Mei: what do you have?!

  MK: ......Monkey King’s Staff.....

  Mei: NO!

  Red Son: oh my gods, why does he have Monkey King’s staff-

- “it uh..... it felt like the staff was calling me” “that is NOT a good reason to pick up an IMMENSELY POWERFUL ITEM”

- MK: so like....where you ever going to tell me you two are heroes?

  Mei: we’ve literally tried to on multiple occasions. you kept leaving before we could tell you.

 MK, remembering all the times they looked like they wanted to have a serious conversation so he got nervous and made up an excuse and left: ha ha... i don’t know what you’re talking about

- when they bring up this problem to Sandy, he just sighs and goes “i figured this would happen eventually....guess we gotta go see my brother”

- they dont even manage to make it to the mountain because Wukong bursts into the room like “which one of you fuckers lifted the staff. you? alright, you’re my successor now you bitch.”

- Wukong’s reason for wanting a successor? “hey, it means i can just sit back and relax for once and not do anything instead of fighting all those fucking demons. wait, what do you mean i have to train him-”

- Wukong is forced by literally everyone else into training MK. he’s not happy about it but begrudgingly accepts the responsibility.

- Wukong: aren’t you tired of being nice? dont you just wanna go apeshit?

   MK: not really no

- Wukong tries not to get attached but oh fuck he mentally considers MK as his son now-

- Red Son: its nice to see that yet another person cares about MK

  Wukong: *(offended sputtering)* wh- i do n- I don’t care about anybody. In fact, I care about nobody.

  Red Son, to MK: so when were you going to tell me you changed your name to Nobody-

- Pigsy and Tang refer MK to a therapist. It’s Macaque. Macaque is a therapist. yes this decision is 100% purely because i think it’s funny.

- MK: Macaque you will not believe what happened today

  Macaque, pulling out his note book and sipping on a black coffee: tell me all about it.

  MK: I’ve become the Monkey King’s successor-

 Macaque: you’ve wHAT

- Macaque, breaking down Wukong’s door: were you going to tell me you adopted a kid, or was I just supposed to find that out by myself

 Wukong: I did not adopt MK! geez, why does everyone keep saying that....

 Macaque: I never said which kid it was.

- Macaque goes HOG WILD with this information, and this is how MK finds out that. oh. his therapist Macaque is THE Macaque. interesting.

- Macaque stops by the coffee shop a few days after this discovery like;

  Macaque: hey, do you kids want to hear some embarrassing stories about Wukong?

 MK: i mean, that might be kinda rude-

 Mei and Red Son: yes, we absolutely want to hear them, please tell us all of them

- Pigsy and Macaque take turns telling stories about Wukong, and when Wukong inevitably walks in on them doing so he grabs the item closest to him (a salt shaker) and just chucks it at them. Pigsy takes that as his cue to leave while Wukong proceeds to chase Macaque around the coffee shop.

- Wukong: *(teases MK a little too much)*

  MK: *(looks like he’s about to cry)*

  Wukong: oh gods, oh fuck, shit, jeez, come on kid don’t cry, oh no, hold on-

- if MK actually does start crying Wukong starts crying too and its like;

  MK: WHY ARE YOU ALSO CRYING?

  Wukong: I don’t know- I mean, I’m not crying.

- forgot to say this earlier but MK gets brought into Mei and Red Son’s little heroing gig! Red Son designs a costume for him and everything. (Not that MK ever actually remembers to wear it....)

- MK never actually talks about what really happened the night he pulled the staff, accidentally freeing the White Bone Spirit. If asked, he laughs nervously and changes the subject.

- at some point, this happens.

  WBS: I brought the boy to his destiny.

  Red Son: you fucked up a perfectly good MK is what you did. look at him. he’s got anxiety.

[dr-gloom]

So I'm watching the blooper reels while I'm working on masks and it's getting me into the "the sides and Thomas are all actors and friends creating the show" au so have these headcanons based on what I know of actors on and off set

- Patton is the one who keeps laughing at lines that aren't dirty but can definitely be Taken That Way (he'd laugh at this sentence too)((it took FOREVER to film dwit because he wouldn't stop laughing))

- ironically he also makes a shit ton of Jesus jokes

- theyve learned to pad the schedule around his scenes because of this

- Virgil's a goofball, just plain and pure goofball, bit of a himbo. He makes a lot of punny jokes

- when Janus and Patton have a scene together everyone knows one scene will take all day because Janus purposefully says his lines in ways to make Patton think dirty shit (plus he makes a ton of dirty jokes, we've seen that)

- Logan actually knows a lot of slang and quotes memes when he hears certain words (like quoting the duck vine when he hears "hey" said a certain way or the road work ahead vine) which makes everyone bust up laughing at the worst times

- Roman's hella nerdy outside of the show and laughs hysterically at the jokes Logan's character makes (another actor combo everyone knows will take forever to film lol)

- Thomas starts impromptu dance parties in the middle of scenes

- Virgil and Janus constantly make passes at each other and no one is sure if it's legit or a joke. He also just randomly sits in Janus's lap all the time (esp in svs)

- if Virgil gets stuck on a line by saying the wrong word, he's gonna fuck that line up all day

- if Virgil starts talking in accents he can't stop

- it turns into a Whole Thing with him, Thomas, and Logan

- Logan and Virgil swear the most out of everyone

- Remus randomly stops in the middle of a line and starts making baby crying noises when he stumbles or forgets the words

- Remus is the Chris Hemsworth of the group in that he goes out of his way to help the crew clean and set up between takes

- it takes like 30 takes to do a serious scene because Thomas keeps making the other person laugh

- Remus was hella awkward at first cause by the time he came along everyone was super close but they loved him immediately because he's seriously Like That and they find it hilarious

- Logan hates doing the songs but only because everyone starts laughing and it takes forever to get that shit done

- everyone had to slap Thomas's fake butt in dwit (you know what I'm talking about)

- one time Virgil slipped and smacked his head on the banister when he tried to sink out so that's why they let him just appear/disappear

- Remus will randomly run up to Patton and twerk against him which makes him crack up

- most of Remus's lines are shit he ad-libbed and they added it to the script

- all of Roman's nicknames are ones he thought of himself

- Joan physically cannot be in the room when Remus has a scene cause they can't stop laughing

- Roman was supposed to be the one going ham on a jar of crofters but he's allergic so they rewrote the episode

- Roman accidentally throws literally any prop he's ever touched

- Patton is actually very good at catching things so the takes where he fumbles stuff take a while

- Janus is physically incapable of stone-faced sarcasm when he's not in character

- they've made Logan reshoot scenes because he accidentally looks too sexy/thirsty

- they had to do the Christmas special so many times that Roman couldn't even look at spaghetti for like a year

- during the Halloween episode Patton couldn't stop laughing at Logan's chin

- he had to film his scenes separately because of this

- Falsehood was ad-libbed

- Roman wouldn't stop playing with his judge sleeves

- Janus is by far the silliest one, followed by Virgil

- the Butterfingers thing is actually an inside joke between Janus and Logan, Janus convinced Joan to put it in. When Logan read the script he laughed for ten minutes

- when Janus read the script for the episode he gives his name he actually cried

- when Janus pulls the Butterfingers from Patton's ear he laughed for ten straight minutes. Silent laughter, red face, tears, the whole thing

- Logan kept making faces at Roman while he was doing his bitchmas monologue

- everyone wants Logan to go apeshit

- Virgil constantly quotes the "aren't you tired of being nice?" Thing when Logan has to play the voice of reason and gets ignored

- Patton laughs hysterically when one of the others makes a dirty joke

- when Logan went off on the others during lntao (in bloopers) everyone clapped

- Logan went to a performing arts school, something the others never let him live down

- Roman is actually scared of puppets so they had to record his lines and overlay them with the footage of his puppet (the other three just sat below their puppets)

- getting behind the TV was 100% Remus's idea. He was supposed to pop up under Roman like Patton did to Janus

- "what the fue?" Is banned on set because they couldn't stop saying it once it started

[tetriquinn]

Dream SMP locations/moments/characters as their respective canon Homestuck songs.

/rp /dreamsmp (based on characters, not creators)

Source: I said so.

SUPER LONG LMAO

The links go with the descriptions above them. Mobile formatting makes the list really confusing. Sorry about that.

The entire SMP. I tried to assign this to a specific event but I couldn't. Eternity is just too powerful. It literally has the best moment in all of Homestuck music history. That kind of raw energy cannot be defined by a single event. [Eternity Served Cold] Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur joining - L'Manburg War

[Sburban Jungle]

Pogtopia/Manburg War

[Welcome to the New Extreme]

The First Disc War(s, if you include the other disc-related conflicts)

[Showtime - Imp Strife]

The first half of the Final Disc War

[You Killed My Father (Prepare To Die)]

The second half of the Final Disc War

[Showtime - Piano Refrain]

The Eggpire after Tommy died (Yes I know I’ve made this joke before shut up it was my best meme)

The Banquet. Before the... y’know... murder part.

Actually no, The Banquet including the murder part.

[Pumpkin Party]

Ghostbur entering the prison

[Love You]

Revivedbur exiting the prison (er, just kinda showing up where he died I guess

[Hate You]

Manburg Festival (October 16th)

[Harlequin]

January 5th (New L'Manburg Festival + Ranboo's Panic Room)

[Dark Carnival]

The period between Tommy's death in the Prison and Tommy's revival

[Heir Of Grief]

Ranboo & Fundy's ice cream shop; Niki & Puffy's flower shop

[Moonsetter]

Revivedbur and Quackity with the burger shops

[Beatdown]

Ranboo and Tubbo with the burger shops

[Candles And Clockwork]

Jack Manifold. Just. In general. (AND NO IT’S NOT JUST A SOLLUX JOKE YEAH THAT’S RIGHT I SAW ONE OF YOU FUCKERS MEDIA SHARE THIS ONE TO HIM LAST WEEK)

[La2t Frontiier]

That little arc where Tubbo was trying to be a detective instead of mourning the violent and brutal death of his best friend

[BL1ND JUST1C3]

Doomsday

[Even In Death - T’Morra]

What? You thought I was going to say Carne Vale? You thought Doomsday was [S]: Game Over? Amateurs.

When Dream and Techno inevitably break out of the prison because let’s be real that’s happening one way or another (bonus points if Techno finds out about Dream manipulating Ranboo and goes apeshit)

[Carne Vale]

My DSMP sona when she encounters someone who manipulated the kids

Las Nevadas/ Casino Q

[Black]

The Syndicate lmfaooooooooo (I’m only half kidding here)

[I’m A Member Of The Midnight Crew but it’s the nice a capella version that everyone likes because it’s objectively the best one]

That one time Tubbo finally went to visit Tommy in exile and thought he [S] Game Over’d himself

[Flare]

The stream where they created Church Prime

[Creata]

PLEASE let Tommy just go apeshit ONE time every time he does even one SMALL THING for himself the entire fucking universe turns on him please he deserves to let it all out and kick actual fucking ASS EVEN ONE TIME COME ON

[Valor]

Tales From The SMP/ Karl in General

[Temporal Shenanigans]

Karl’s karaoke nights (yes I know this one isn’t a canon song but it’s a mix of 3 canon songs plus Space Jam okay it counts)

[Slam Jam]

Anyone remember the Karl Reef?

[Fuchsia Ruler]

Wilbur turning a drug van in the woods into an entire country

[WV: Become the Mayor of Cans]

The Dreamon Hunters, my absolute beloveds. My favorite arc on the entire SMP.

[At The Price Of Oblivion]

Tubbo sitting over the remains of his country on L’Manburgian Independance Day earlier this month (yes I’m spelling it as “Independance” because that’s what their constitution said okay it’s their fault not mine)

[Three In The Morning Aftermath]

Tommy leaving Exile (or him being revived I guess idk)

[Savior of the Waking World]

If Sapnap ever DID ANY LORE COME ON MAN YOU HAVE THE MOST POTENTIAL HERE

[Time On My Side]

The big final battle against The Egg that we never got :(

[Battle Against an Unfathomable Enemy]

Enderwalk Ranboo it’s literally perfect

[Black Rose / Green Sun]

I don’t think I even have to tell you what this is for. Look at the title. You’ll know.(Dream in the Prison in case you’re seeing this way in the future and don’t have this context)

[Constant Confinement]

Ranboo & Fundy doing dumb shit together (the good ol’ days)

[Wacky Antics]

I could use this for an actual, plot-relevant location, but no their SCUFFED-ASS NETHER IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SOMEONE JUST FIX IT IT’S SO GARBAGE (except for the portal hub that looks really nice)

[Underworld]

Ranboo’s lil’ Ender particles (chat) jammin to fuckin’ Cabinet Man or some shit during lore

[Arcade Thunder]

Tubbo’s execution

[Trials And Execution]

Clingyduo when they actually get to fight/hang out together canonically

[Skiain Skirmish]

Revivedbur (yes I’m serious)

[Hardchorale]

Dream XD

(I FORGOT IT HAD THE FLOWEY LAUGH AND I GOT WHIPLASH WHILE TYPING THIS DUSIGYUSIHV)

[Lordling]

Dream getting posessed by the Dreamon and having to be exorcised (yeah remember that? Probably not.)

[Sunslammer]

The Inbetween and The Other Side fighting to get Karl to listen (Another one I’m pretty sure is canon)

[Derse Dreamers]

The final battle of the SMP. It’ll happen eventually. It can’t last forever, you know

[Rex Duodecim Angelus]

This went from a shitpost to a very long, fairly accurate (and fairly full of memes) analysis help I’m so tired.

Honorable mentions that I couldn’t add because they’re technically not canon songs:

Eret all the time

[Let Me Dance, Let Me Glisten]

The Eggpire just being able to understand The Egg (I say sarcastically, as if I don’t have this song written in a fictional language memorized)

[Futma Kul Shemtor (Hymn of the Horrorterrors)]

[virtuouscandlelight]

{ OOC } lifts the olden verse up

aight time to RAMBLE BAYBEE I ALREADY LOVE THIS VERSE

but before I do that, here’s a quick important disclosure to keep in mind to clear up any confusion for writing

• It’s easy to tell if I’m playing younger Eleanor or default ! It’ll be in the tags as v : olden days. Default has no tag. I am currently working on making icons for olden days as well, who has pinned up hair — so if my icons are Eleanor with long hair { as I’ve been using } , that is default.

• Eleanor currently only has two verses. Olden days, where she first started out performing miracles and embraced a rebellious side of freedom through piracy on the side, and v : pearly gates, which is just Barbossa/Eleanor { this is noted because Morwenna exists now, a fan child. }

• As I’ve said aplenty { people still ask me. } , Eleanor in general is multiship.

• Shipping with olden days may actually be extremely difficult because she is practically attached and grounded to her crew. Definitely open to friendships and such — but remember, this is a rebellious phase. It’s literally like a teenage rebellion. She’s a lot more violent and hyper. After being cooped up in the same old routine for decades and then finally being granted freedom to do whatever, she is embracing that shit like it’s the last supper.

basically aren’t you tired of being nice ? don’t you want to go apeshit ?

• this verse mainly exists because I love writing darker, violent themes — which is scarce in her default verse. current candle hates violence and will stray away from it immediately.

• it’s also like an experimental verse for those who are already currently writing with her default ! think of it as an AU ! literally her olden days verse could kick their ass but default would end up falling in love with them it’s an experience from maturing. still an AU. that make sense ? aight let’s get to info dump time

—

🕯 𝑶𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒀𝒐𝒓𝒆 🕯

• Her hyper and violent personality is inspired by Jinx from The Arcane. If you’ve seen it, you know.

• This time era is is still the golden age of piracy — but more specifically The Price Of Freedom { POTC } .

• She has a pet companion in this verse ! A Romney Marsh England sheep named Dandelion ! She has him follow her everywhere. Sometimes she’ll use him as a rest. He’s the most nonchalant animal and more often than not comedic relief. There could be intense gunfire and people getting thrown overboard and he’d be chewing the ropes on deck.

• Makes absolutely zero effort in concealing her inhuman side. She wants people to know she’s not human if that’ll drive fear into their hearts. In fact, her favorite thing to do is climb up into the Crow’s Nest right before battle and let out a piercing, animalistic scream to throw the other party off. In turn, the crew screeches a war cry as well, firing up adrenaline.

• Similar to Blackbeard, Eleanor prefers to use tactics involving fear rather than violence at first encounter, hence the scream. This also explains why she doesn’t hide her candles, wax, or eyes. If it startles the other party, it weakens their defense. Usually, she is not the one to throw the first punch unless directly provoked — or she loses her temper.

• Still adheres strictly to choir code. She cannot kill a human being at her current rank.

But there’s nothing in the book that says she can’t get them to near death. 

When fighting with swords and candles, Eleanor makes sure to shank and slice at areas that do not involve vital organs. Her method of combat includes a lot of burning, occasional quick stabs, a LOT of fists, then leaving them to be finished off by someone else instead.

• Physical combat inspired by Black Widow. She actually dislikes sword fighting and hates guns. Guns are too loud for her and she always stumbles backwards. Sword fighting takes too long for her. Throwing rapid fire punches and slamming her heel into someone’s face is much more quicker ! Relies on her reflexes and flexibility a lot. The quicker the weapon { daggers usually. } , the more likely she’ll use it.

Loves to brag about how she kicked a man’s ass as a woman. Also loves to brag that she kicked a man’s ass as a woman in a skirt.

• Loves to party and drink. Can move her hips. Is always singing and dancing. this can lead to nsfw lmao

• Will use the Black Widow temptation tactic. Fake flirts with her looks and persuasion, lures the person to a beach at night, aaaand strikes to get information.

• Unpredictable. Don’t trust this one easily.

• Older Eleanor absolutely refuses to ever speak about how she acted when she was younger it’s like looking at your old DeviantArt account when you drew creepypasta MS Paint art to her

[robiinjason]

What are your favorite and least favorite ttg eps. i need food

OH WORM? talking about ttg is fun so i am happy to provide OKAY SO

Favorite TTG Episode - tbh my answer will probably be different on this one at any given time because I don’t really have One favorite ttg episode, partly cause there’s So Many and partly cause I have assorted favorites for different reasons (such as being particularly hilarious, having cute moments, having a fun artstyle switch or having an interesting premise, so whenever asked i’ll talk about a favorite I feel like talking about. 

THAT SAID (is a two-parter cheating) right now I’m gonna go with the two-parter Flashback (S4E48&49)! 

I have a bit of a soft spot for this one cause it was among the first few episodes I watched before I started watching the show in order and I had a great time with it. Origin episodes are fun and it was entertaining to see how this version of the Titans came to be, and it has plenty of funny moments imo!

But ALSO this is a delightful episode if you enjoy Looking Too Hard into things that aren’t meant to be looked too hard into. While Teen Titans (2003) actively shows you how this team is also a close group of friends and like a family, Teen Titans Go! generally spends more time showing them being mean to each other much more often than having fuzzy wuzzy moments - which means if you still want to see this ruder and wackier version of the Titans as Found Family (like me!) it’s gonna require a lot more mental gymnastics on your end.

Under the cut because I went ham and WILL show you my mental gymnastics on how They Really Do Care About Each Other

Like, if you look at some of the other episodes where Robin is acting overly authoritarian and the Titans temporarily leave the team or get a different leader or just complain about his leadership, it can give off the impression that Robin was the one who shoved them all into the team and declared himself the leader. 

EXCEPT here it turns out it wasn’t quite like that! They get annoyed with Robin often because of overexposure since they live with him and he's A Lot, but when the team was formed it wasn't Robin who forced them to join his team: they were the ones who quite literally found him in the garbage and went, “We want THIS GUY to be our leader!” 

For some context, Robin held tryouts to form a team and these guys plus the Titans East and Kid Flash took part in it. However, the soon-to-be-Titans kept driving Robin up the wall until he eventually lost it, screamed at them and dismissed all four of them. To the ones who remained he went “okay you guys are on the team! :)”

Until Kid Flash proceeded to crush his dreams by going “hey this guy has a real temper, raise your hand if we should kick him out and I should be the leader” and all of them raised their hands. As he was still a pushover and not feral - yes, there was a point in Teen Titans Go when Robin was not yet feral -, though Robin was clearly unhappy with this development, he didn’t fight it.

And so, Robin was out of a team and lost his tower.

After Robin got kicked out of his own tower, the previously disqualified Titans found him living in the garbage like "yes I got kicked out of my team and tower! this is fine! It's not a big deal please stop talking about it!" (this Was Not fine) and they got pissed on his behalf. Then they were like, “we all got kicked out, WE should be a team!” and challenged Kid Flash to get back the tower, even though Robin didn’t want them to. 

They then proceeded to give Robin an updated look and went are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit? And tired of being nice Robin was, so apeshit he went, which made them go "now THAT'S leader material" 

By the way they lost the challenge but Robin was no longer nice so he broke Kid Flash's leg, kicked them out and took back the tower 

My point is that the Titans may complain about Robin being Like That but before them he was just a pushover with a lot of issues and repressed rage and They were the ones who enabled him to be unhinged. Robin's like "you guys bring out the worst in me >:(" but they're like "your worst brings out the best in us :D" and I for one appreciate this delightful bunch of clown misfits who found a weird little family in each other

The movie backs me up on this which is nice :’)

Least Favorite TTG Episode - i’m gonna say,,,, Más y Menos (S1E48). I don’t mind the So Bizarre It’s Funny episodes bc they’re fun to bring up at random in conversations and i tend to just forget the ones of the Nasty but Forgettable variety, and I am of course used to the Titans (and most characters tbh) having a meaner streak than in, say, the 2003 cartoon. 

BUT while in general the Titans being jerks to each other can be funny, since all of them have Clown Moments and they’re all equal (Robin is their leader but he’s also a little dude with no powers and they could put him in the dirt if they really wanted, tho he’s also capable of beating them up when going apeshit), Robin’s treatment of Más y Menos here just feels,,,, overly mean?? 

It feels like an actual teacher discriminating between students who didn’t do anything wrong and making them feel bad for no reason and i Don’t Like it 😔 Robin being an asshole to his friends and peers who are also assholes sometimes can be entertaining, but him doing so with innocent younger heroes he’s mentoring I Do Not vibe with

On the bright side Más y Menos are super cute. Love them

[godwithwethands]

lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)

I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺

Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴

Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!

Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.

Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭

Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️

I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!

(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭

1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)

I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.

Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.

Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.

A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.

Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖

2. Baal is a Villain

Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨

Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.

I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 

Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)

(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))

3. The endless verbal jousting

I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)

Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!

(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)

4. Admitting the other’s qualities

I’ll start with Baal:

Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.

Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it

It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.

I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.

Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.

That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...

What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.

(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))

Sam’s turn: 

It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.

I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.

(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 

5. Sam’s kindness 

I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 

No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)

(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)

Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.

What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?

He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 

Also can I briefly talk about this??

Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg

(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))

6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her

Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!

That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....

Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss

I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.

I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔

Miscellaneous: 

About Baal’s host:

I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 

He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.

What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?

Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)

I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.

Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!

Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):

OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!

That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.

Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.

i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 

He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO

(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)

Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?

Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 

A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)

Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.

Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.

Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--

In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!

The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!

The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!

Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!

Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 

I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 

feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/

[imadethisatage11]

Live-blogging my reaction to Spiral: from the book of saw

Spoilers under the cut

TL;DR: my overall review is that it was good but I’m going to go watch DPS to cleanse me

- ok so that woman got robbed and for what

- I had to pause to find out who this detective’s actor was Bc it was driving me nuts and it’s MCMURRAY FROM LETTERKENNY???

- love that they’re gonna fuck up this train conductors day lmao

- LOVE genuinely that we’re back to looking gritty and having an old tv play the video and having some rapid cut camera work early 2000’s vibes I embrace you

- why does the voice sound like that,, I wasn’t expecting John but why is it so non threatening now it’s literally just Some Guy™️

- I am glad I paid $15 to listen to Chris Rock talk about Forrest Gump. Worth my money and I mean it genuinely I love Chris Rock he’s great. Stream Everybody Hates Chris on Hulu

- “Z?” Zeke who just had his cover blown: this MF

- “do I look like a fucking Jamaican nanny?!” I- 😀🤚🏽

- ayo Max Minghella

- Chris Rock falling just short of being convincingly aggressively cynical Bc he is Chris Rock with the voice of Chris Rock

- it sounds like he’s setting up jokes that don’t have punchlines and instead they’re just like,, mediocre cynic cop dialogue

- while looking at some pretty fucking intact teeth: this bum is gonna be pretty hard to ID

- I mean I guess the homeless don’t have dental records but were you not even gonna try?

- I’m very pleased Chris Rock put on gloves before handling the strange package I love actually smart character choices that would make sense for them to make

- I.e. the cop knows how to properly handle unexpected unmarked packages delivered to the precinct

- “I thought the jigsaw killer was dead” “well if it’s another copy cat…” another wait is that referring to Logan (which Logan pinned on the other coincidentally crooked cop whose name I’ve forgotten) does that imply Logan only did like? The one trap? And hasn’t been active? Just waited ten years after John died recreates the one trap he was in and then stops?? I mean don’t get me wrong if movie wants to ignore Jigsaw (2017)’s existence I’m game but like what

- also why do the packages look like they’re wrapped in Tiffany boxes lmao

- oh yay they did run dental

- Chris Rock is an asshole but they should go with protocol if that’s what they’re doing

- ordering a man mid piss out of the men’s room to yell at Zeke

- does conflict of interest matter when the whole precinct knows the victim?

- uncomfortable stand-offs with your ex while at the home of a grieving friend

- Samuel L Jackson!

- “I could’ve killed you!” “What are you talking about, I have the gun!” *SLJ pulls a gun out* “I could’ve killed you”

- daddy issues

- “you think this is linked to John Kramer?” Bruh you think it’s NOT??

- ik this is SO far fetched but I rlly hope this movie tells us wtf happened to Dr Gordon. I’m sure it won’t but a girl can dream

- “should we tell Zeke?” “Fuck him” I get you guys don’t like to work w him Bc he’s an ass but like. You’re just not doing your jobs now you’re just proving he’s right that you’re untrustworthy

- splitting up and not telling ppl where you’re going is the number one way to get kidnapped or murdered but way to go cop instincts

- what is this Chinese finger trap ass shit

- love the blue tones tho very Saw

- all it needs is to become uncomfortably green

- fun fact I actually watched the first saw w my friend who is red green color blind and he said it looked AWFUL and I was like oh yeah everything is blue tinted like twilight blue tint and later it’s green just FYI (he thought that made significantly more sense than whatever shit ass color palette he was perceiving)

- being mad at your son for turning in a dirty cop Bc now you’ll have to mess with internal affairs

- and then assaulting someone??? SLJ is an even worse asshole lmao

- another Tiffany box bound in twine maybe it’ll be one of those cheesy diamond heart necklaces

- HELLO what is that ugly ass pig puppet

- also the voice is so stilted did the killer use fuckin text to speech so they couldn’t unscramble the voice like they did to Hoffman?

- cops finding dead pigs, a little on the nose

- oh so this dude has a history of “fuck it” ok well screw that guy then

- SLJ deserves to be pissed at that cop for letting Zeke get shot but like what an unhinged man he threatened to kill him and then actually assaulted him HOW did he EVER get in charge to begin with

- ok wait is Zeke actually the only decent cop (inc his dad but maybe excluding the newbie)

- that is a truly gruesome way to lose fingers tho I must say but he deserves that shit

- wait did the trap not go fast enough or was there a way for him to do that faster and I missed it

- like should he not have hesitated Bc there was a time limit or was it just rigged

- cuz the machine had to pull them off he couldn’t just cut them quickly

- so are they just gonna leave broken leg Dude there or

- also just now I tried to talk abt this movie (so far) vs Jigsaw (2017) to my mom and I got too excited and referenced some character names she didn’t know and she shut me down and said she didn’t care 😀

- live-blogging to my, like, five followers that compromise one one (1) person that knows me IRL, one (1) Sawtual, and a handful of ppl only here for my main DPS content to fill the void of emotional parental neglect. What a great website

- oh no did the rookie die :( he was actually sweet

- I feel like he was too important to kill offscreen tho

- like they’re TELLING us he .. was skinned.. but was he REALLY

- Chris Rock having a revelation: AH FUCK

- everyone else at the crime scene: ….

- favorite thing abt movies that were already gonna be rated R is when they’re like “well if we’re already at R we might as well say fuck”

- she has to SEVER HER SPINAL CORD? Why was she deemed the biggest asshole

- also how on earth was this trap portable it IS in their basement right

- transporting the hot wax is just what gets me

- Chris Rock rn: are you tired of being nice? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit?

- was this abt his dad the whole time???

- does it count as live blogging when I do one big post instead of several small ones lol I just want it to be avoidable for ppl who are just here for Dead Poets Society

- man’s fully abt to cut his arm off like barely even hesitated long enough to notice the bobby pin he could pick the lock with

- there’s a body here suspended

- not hanging mind you

- but covered and suspended

- and I bet it’s the newbie

- ah damn it’s Pete that’s disappointing

- it’s possible the trailers just made him seem more important than he was

- why are they punishing Zeke for reporting a dirty cop and having his career accordingly ruined like he did the right thing and already suffered for it? This killer doesn’t like crooked cops?? Why does Zeke have to be tortured by hearing this dude die like that’s what they want isn’t it?

- I think it’s too late pal

- the glass trap was pretty fucking cool though

- I KNEW HE WAS ALIVE

- I didn’t think he was a MURDERER but I KNEW he was alive

- OH SHIT THE DIRTY COP ZEKE TURNED IN KILLED NEWBIE’S DAD??

- I’m terrible at guessing endings but it makes viewing more fun

- honestly,, do it Chris Rock ACAB

- “you want me to kill cops?” “No, fuck no, just the bad ones”

- what a fun villain though

- I have no idea what the Ultimate Game Plan™️ is here though is he gonna make him kill his dad? I mean his dad does suck but making a dude KILL his DAD? That is a tall order Max Minghella

- ok but literally why wouldn’t you listen to him here shoot the target??

- ANGIE! It WaS aNgIe

- killing this man is not correct justice anyway Zeke

- shot the target! Good man

- groovy of them to play the Hello Zepp soundtrack rn

- oh shit what’s going on SLJ knows what it is

- oh.. w o w. Brutal way to go. Very heavy handed imagery

- and that’s all I guess who the fuck knows what’s up w Doctor Gordon

- and I guess Max Minghella is just gonna get away now but tbh Chris Rock only seemed truly mad at him for involving his dad

- nice rap remix to the OG Hello Zepp score very cool credits music

[kstewdeux]

A Very Specific Day

A Tumblr Exclusive

@inuyasha-valentines

“So, he asked you to join him for dinner and you said yes?” Sango asked barely above a whisper as she sank into the hot spring. Despite Kagome’s belief that only Miroku spied on them, the slayer knew better. How the miko didn’t sense his aura or the noticeable, sudden rustle of leaves that occasionally occurred when Kagome exited the spring was beyond her but the miko would deny the obvious until the cows came home and then would be in denial about the cows.

“It’s a holiday,” Kagome tried to explain weakly, “Its, um, a great shame to not share that day with a romantic partner in my time.”

“So, you see Hojo as a romantic partner then,” Sango pressed as she gave the miko a skeptical look and Kagome sighed heavily.

“I mean, that’s the point of dinner. To find out if that person is someone you would want as a romantic partner,” she replied a little sadly before cringing when she saw the slayer’s skepticism increase exponentially. Huffing once and folding her arms across her chest, she snapped defensively, “Its not a crime to see what my options are, Sango.”

“I can think of someone who might disagree,” the slayer laughed softly as she settled back against the wall of the spring, “You need to tell him why you’re going home. You know he always follows you.”

“He doesn’t…”

“He does,” Sango interrupted with a soft sigh, “Even if he doesn’t tell you or even let you see him, he always does.”

“Does he really?” Kagome asked in a fascinated tone and Sango’s lips twitched upwards when she heard the rustle of leaves that signaled ‘someone’ might have arrived to ‘protect’ the girls.

“Inuyasha cares for you a great deal,” Sango commented as though she hadn’t noticed anything, “Although I know you don’t think so.”

“I mean we’re friends but he isn’t interested in being any more than that,” Kagome sighed sadly before groaning and commenting acidly, “Unlike Hojo. I mean, honestly, based on how they treat me, I think its pretty clear which one I should be trying to date. One insults me all the time. The other gives me gifts and tells me I’m pretty. Seems pretty open and shut.”

Somehow, mysteriously, although no wind was blowing whatsoever a single tree in the distance shook so heavily a cascade of leaves fell to the ground and the tree itself groaned loudly. Even more mysteriously still, the miko somehow must be either blind or deaf because she didn’t notice the ‘strange’ event.

“Does it?” Sango laughed softly as she consciously turned so the obviously spying hanyou couldn’t see any part of her. Kagome, however, was pretty much on full display.

“So, what happens on a date?” Sango asked as she decided to throw the little obviously upset spy a bone. What he did with it was his business.

“Well the boy usually picks you up at your house. You go to somewhere special. Like a nice place to eat food or you watch a, uh, show or something. Then you go home and if the evening was good you give them a kiss and that’s that. It’s, you know, courting,” Kagome tried to explain as she wrinkled her nose.

“Unchaperoned courting,” Sango corrected. Her lips twitched upwards when the tree in the distance rustled once more.

“Well yeah,” Kagome replied with a soft laugh, “Guess that doesn’t really happen here.”

“Are you going to tell Inuyasha?” Sango finally addressed the elephant in the room and Kagome sniffed pointedly.

“Its not his business,” she clipped back a little too quickly, “I’m so tired of him acting like he owns me just because I can see jewel shards. I don’t complain when he goes to see Kikyo. That’s his business and this is mine.”

“You do complain in your own way,” Sango commented knowingly and Kagome gave her friend a sour look.

“So what? I’m tired of hurting so no, I’m not going to tell him because he doesn’t care about me and I deserve someone who does,” the miko clipped back before worrying about her lip and glaring into the distance, “I just….I love him Sango and he just doesn’t love me back. I’m trying to come to terms with that, okay? If he found out he’d say something hurtful and I don’t want to deal with that right now. I want to be happy.”

A short distance away, a certain half-demon was having a heart attack, a brain aneurysm and quite possibly the stomach flu all at once. His mind and body going completely apeshit over well, literally everything he’d just heard. It didn’t start off too bad. Not great but he could’ve handled a date with that Hojo guy. She didn’t smell attracted to him at all and never really seemed interested. Unlike with Koga because even though she said she didn’t like him that way she sure didn’t smell like she minded the eye candy sometimes. Anyway,  a pity dinner with the Hojo guy was not terrible nor was it worrisome. Sure he would’ve bitched a bit about it and probably stop her from going because (1) obviously that was cruel when she was already spoken for and (2) she was spoken for. His mind had been scrambling to figure out why she had even agreed in light of number two when she started going on about how she thought he was a right asshole who didn’t give two shits about her and was still in love with Kikyo and she wasn’t happy and that….

It was a miracle his heart hadn’t given out it was beating so fast.

Swallowing thickly as he tried to remember how to breathe, he watched with wide, frightened eyes as Kagome and Sango existed the hot spring and began preparing to return.

“Oh fuck,” he breathed as he very seriously almost passed out from the shock to his system, “What am I supposed to do now?”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Inuyasha arrived back at camp almost a full hour after the girls did. It honestly had taken him that long to calm down and try to formulate a plan. A plan that would not give away the fact that he was spying on Kagome naked and in the process thereof, overheard what she’d said.

“Inuyasha? Can I talk to you?” Kagome asked him quietly and any plan he’d managed to formulate was instantly wiped from his mind by almost blinding panic and dread.

“S-sure,” he offered as calmly as he could under the circumstances and gave her a very forced smile just for good measure. This seemed to unnerve her.

They walked a short distance away until they were almost in the trees when she began her proposal.

“I need to go back in two days,” she began calmly as she tried to meet his gaze but couldn’t quite do it. He almost asked why but then thought better of it. Asking why would most likely have her lie to him which in turn he would call out and then there’d be a fight because him hearing meant he saw her naked and it wouldn’t matter that she was lying to him because he saw her naked and….

“Okay,” he replied a neutrally as one could when they felt like their heart was breaking, “Can….may I go with you?”

Kagome blinked at him a few times before shaking her head and clearing her throat.

“I think, uh, it would be best if I go alone,” she chuckled nervously as she scratched the side of her neck, “You know those pesky homeworks aren’t going to do themselves and I have a, uh, test. I have a test.”

Inuyasha wilted miserably at the realization that she was, in fact, actively lying to him. What else was she lying about? He didn’t even want to think about that.

“I won’t bother you,” he tried softly as he tried to ignore the ice spreading through his veins, “I just…I want to spend some time with you is all.”

“Are you okay?” Kagome asked in a worried tone as her eyes began scanning his body for injury. He smiled sadly and shook his head.

“Nah I’m fine. Just…just realized something is all,” he sighed before seeming to deflate even more, “Yeah. Sure. Go ahead. Do whatever makes you happy.”

The miko’s brain was racing a million miles per second trying to figure out whether he knew she was lying or not because this type of behavior was so unlike him it was beginning to scare her. When he glanced back with a strange look in his eyes, she knew her answer. He could probably smell it on her anyway. Why did she think lying was a good idea? This wasn’t like her at all.

“Wait, Inuyasha,” Kagome called out softly as she wrung her hands and he paused – his hair blocking his face as he glanced over his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I just….I’m being courted, okay? And you usually fight me and this is a very special honor in my time to be courted on this very specific day. I wanted….I was afraid you wouldn’t let me go. I shouldn’t’ve lied.”

For a moment, he tried to digest what she’d said and tried to overcome his own hurt at the situation. Unlike Kikyo, she had never given him a reason not to trust her until now. Even in life Kikyo was constantly lying to him and his sensitive nose could always tell. It was little stupid things but even small things add up into a larger pile that’ll crush you one day. Being able to trust her word was one of the things he loved so much about Kagome.

Yeah, he loved her. Sure, he’d never said as much but dammit that didn’t make it hurt less. She lied to him. Thought it was fine to sit there and tell him that she was being courted like it honestly didn’t matter. He wanted to get angry and yell at her out of frustration but he never was good with words and he might end up just hurting his cause. No matter what she did he’d still want her. That was just how he was when he was in love apparently. She could literally try to murder him and he’d probably thank her for the privilege of dying by her hand. Case in Point: Kikyo. God he was fucking pathetic. 

But pathetic or not....this was as good a plan as any to get what he wanted.

“Its an honor to be courted on the day you want to go home?” he repeated softly as he turned to face her and hurt amber eyes searched her face. She nodded as she worried about her lip and continued to wring her hands.

“And so, you agreed to be courted to receive that honor?” he tried to clarify and Kagome shrugged as her brow knitted together in confusion. That was the weirdest sentence she’d ever heard come out of his mouth literally ever. And what was with his tone?

“Would it…” he began softly and Kagome’s hair nearly stood on end. Since when did he talk like this? Especially to her? He normally yelled or…or at least was abrasive at a minimum. He never talked softly or without cussing unless he was dying or with Kikyo. Since he wasn’t with Kikyo at the moment….what the hell was happening right now?

“Would it be an honor if anyone courted you or does it have to be that guy?” he asked politely yet nervously in what couldn’t be a hopeful tone before he cringed, sighed heavily and blurted out, “Because I could do it ya know. I…I could court you and wear different clothes and…and….”

He trailed off at the look of utter shock on her face and his insecurity got the better of him.

“Know what? Forget it. Just fucking forget I said anything. I just…”

“You want to court me?” Kagome squeaked as her eyes widened in shock and darted about trying to read his utterly humiliated expression. For a moment, he wanted to curse her out and storm off without having to explain himself but then again, she did finally seem to catch the hint that he was at a minimum interested in being with her.

“Since when do you want that?” she continued skeptically and his temper flared.

“I’ve been courting you woman but you’re apparently too fucking dumb to notice,” he countered bitterly before shaking his head and sighing when she continued to merely gape at him.

“Whatever,” he muttered under his breath and turned to head back towards  camp before Kagome rushed forward and gripped his wrist.

“Yes,” she breathed as she tugged once to get him to stop, “Yes you can court me.”

And so it was that Inuyasha and Kagome celebrated Valentine’s Day together.

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!