#literally open to any suggestions right now whatever i think just dosen’t feel right

[happi-dreams]

i wanna make a lil object sona !

have no clue what i would be though so it’s been difficult

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 3: Storkules in Duckburg! aka THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES TERRIBLE BUT WELL MEANING ROOMATE OUT OF MYTH

Hello all you happy people! And welcome and welcome back to Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the season 2 arcs of Ducktales! This arc was paid for by WeirdKev27 and I truly enjoy his support. if you want to know how to commission your own reviews or to get a guarnateed review of me of your choice from me a month, stick around to the end. I realized that shoving all my plugs in up top may be driving people away and while I DO make them because I want to make a living off this, i’ts not fair to those of you who simply can’t afford to buy a lot of extra shit like myself to keep shoving it in your face. 

Previously on the Louie Inc Arc, Louie, after believing he had no skills and it was a matter of when not if he ws going to die, found his talent: seeing all the angles and thus being Sharper than the Sharpies. With newfound confidence and a chip on his shoulder from Scrooge saying he could one day be a bigger success than Scrooge himself, founding Louie Inc as a result. But what is Louie Inc? Does he actually have a plan or a bunch of buzzwords. And what does STORKULES, MANLY GAY OUT OF MYTH have to do with any of this? Join me under the cut to find out. 

We open with Louie giving Scrooge his sales pitch that is essentially...

Naturally Scrooge buys none of it. I mean he’s somewhere in his hundreds, he’s probably seen about 80 thousand pitches that amount to “I have no plan but give me money anyway”. There’s a reason there’s a Butch Hartman shaped crater on the lawn from where he threw his ass out. 

Scrooge does mentor the lad, or at least attempt to pointing out he needs an actual product or service (Louie rejects the idea of a lemonade stand as too easy), or as he puts it “Find a problem and create a solution”. 

While the basic PRINCIPAL isn’t bad, find something people want or need and provide it, phrasing it that way sounds like “find a problem people are having and exploit the shit out of that problem for fun and profit.” Granted that IS a guiding principal of business, it’s just not something an uncle should be teaching his kids. They should be teaching them about the anime and cartoons they grew up with as I do with my niece and nibling. 

He does show him a valid example of this in action in the form of Donald. Turns out Donald has found a good way to make money while he looks for a job, can relate: since Duckburg is facing a housing shortage, likely because several square blocks probably get destroyed by Scrooge’s Adventures, Glomgold’s Schemes, Superhero Battles, whatever creation went horribly wrong for Gyro, etc at least once a week. So he’s taken it upon himself to offer up the spare room to whoever can rent it.. and to steal Scrooge’s chandelier which even when caught he still takes anyway. Scrooge.. you called the guy a god-damn moocher in the season premiere, despite the fact he lives there soley because YOU offered and because he’s you know, being responsible and staying by his boys so they have their father figure around. So yeah I feel he’s doing this partly out of spite as is the McDuck way. I mean if your going to call him a freeloader just for being a responsible parent, then he’s going to take it up a damn notch.

Scrooge proceeds to laugh off Louie wanting a million dollars and gives him a dime instead because of course he was. Seriously Louie there are two other billionaires in town who are FAR dumber and far more easily swindled. Just go get star up capital from them. Hell with Glomgold all you’d have to do is tell him it’d upset scrooge and he’d literally throw money at you. Or give you a shark full of money. He needs the shark back though. He’s family. 

Meanwhile Donald prepares for his new tenant and finds.. THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES! Who to his mounting horror as he realizes it, IS the new tenant. And who throws him into the sun. Cue credits. 

So after Donald somehow survives being thrown into the sun, Storkules explains why he’s here: Zeus responded to his son playing the lute a lot like any rational reasonable 

No of course he responded to the “crime” of “playing his instrument a lot” with sending a swarm of harpies on the town then blaming Storkules for it and casting him out. What’s most shocking is not the action, this is honestly him staying the course of being a fucking disgrace, but that Zeus somehow ISN’T the biggest asshole i’ve dealt with this week. No that honor is reserved as always for this bitch:

Keep in mind she manages to be this obnoxious in only TWO scenes. Also keep in mind I had to put up with Julie for a MUCH larger chunk of the previous two volumes I covered before volume 5 yesterday for my Scott Pilgrim Retrospective and she is ALWAYS like this and you now feel my pain. 

This does create a problem though: Zeus casts Storkules out until he’s a responsible adult.. and thus paints Storkules as the bad guy... in a situation where the only other person in the story sent a swarm of HARPIES down at him for simply playing his music too loud. It just dosen’t work as a catalyst: Storkules objectively did nothing wrong. The only person he annoyed was a person who clearly dosen’t love, respect or like his son in any way shape or form anyway and essentially assaulted him and a bunch of innocent people via harpie and then cast him out. Zeus is an abusive asshole and i’ts weird the narrative sides with HIM and not our well meaning doofus. Zeus being an asshole with harpies is not a bad catalyst for the episode, and the harpies being unleashed is used well.. it’s just not a good catalyst for THIS story to try and portray an abuser as in the right. And make no mistake Zeus is a domestic abuser: he had his son mind controlled to try and MURDER innocent people, something Storkules begged him not to do, sent a swarm of creatures after him for the crime of playing his music too loud and in his next episode manipulatives Storkules sad emotional state for personal gain. Why would you try and paint THIS jackass as in the right?

Speaking of painting this jackass in the right sadly.. this episode does not do my boy donald justice. In most episodes he’s pretty nuanced and i’ts fair enough he’d be frustrated by Storkules as a roomate. Storkules has little sense of personal space, breaks his stove thinking theirs hydra in it, makes a mess of the kitchen making them a meal, and in general clearly dosen’t know how to live with a roomate much less in modern society. He has valid concerns and the episode COULD have used it that way.. but he’s also horribly impatient with Storkules. He refuses to get the guy just hasn’t had to live in a modern society and dosen’t know HOW to function in it and instead of helping him just gets mad again and again and gets really pissed when it’s clear Storkules dosen’t have a job and didn’t consider paying rent. He’s not WRONG to want him to pay Rent, despite what ironically the musical Rent would try and have you believe, but he dosen’t have any patience with the guy. And stork isn’t nearly coming on as strong as he normally does. The worst he does is cook the guy lunch and bring his donald fan art with him. Which we don’t see but I am assuming is mostly naked. What i’m saying is for once that while still bombastic, Storkules isn’t trying to force a relationship/friendship on him and simply wants to learn t be an adult from his best friend.. and Donald isn’t bothering teaching him.

Asking for rent or for him not to destroy the stove is fine, but not explaining WHY he needs either of those things or why he needs boundaries, he makes a roomate list, isn’t helping the guy. And this would be fine... but the episode dosen’t call Donald out on it for no real reason. It feels like it’s setting up for a “you should learn to wokrk with someone instead of just screaming at them aseop” that never comes and like with Zeus takes his side because shutup. I’d also LIKE to say this is the only time the writers reduced one of the cast to a caracture of themselves.. but I can’t.  Several episodes in season 3 forgot Louie’s character development and another episode in season 2, The Duck Knight Returns!, somehow reduced both Scrooge and Dewey to parodies of themselves with Scrooge SOMEHOW, despite Della as stubborn as she is being in his care and by his side for decades and Movies bein ga huge business, not having seen a movie since the 1920′s and not knowing how they work and Dewey being reduced to just hyperactive moron. It isn’t as common as other shows like say Regular Show, The Loud House or, for the exact reason I lost intrest, Rick and Morty, but I still expect better, especially since they went into this season KNOWING Donald would be gone for half of it and this would likely be one of his only spotlight episodes. 

Back at the good part of the plot, Louie is having a company meeting aka already treating Huey and Webby like his employees. Webby of course is glad to sign on, if little help in actually coming up with a product while Huey just wants to nope out. And if your wondering why Dewey isn’t involved Louie outright says he’d make a bad employee and while Dewey rises from his bed to object.. he stops halfway to opening his mouth and concludes he has a point. Best gag of the episode. Louie being louie easily cons Huey into staying by making Webby his charts officer. 

So the three have a corporate retreat at Funso’s... granted they don’t have a product but Louie figures this might help. Huey.. still wants out of this and suggest since they already spent what they had on ski ball “Company over?”. It’s clear that Huey just sees this as another one of Louie’s short sighted schemes... and while he’s not ENITRELY wrong, Louie has genuine ambition.. he just has no earthly idea what he’s doing and is shooting way too high.. but for understandable reasons. 1) He’s 11 at this point. 11 year olds aren’t great at business strategy or reinging it in. 2) he wants to live up to what Scrooge said to prove he can be successful and really be worth something like his mom was. 

But sometimes fate throws you one and the harpies bust in. And while Louie wants to do nothing and hope they go away Huey and Webby spring into action.. as does Storkules, who had to leave but warns donald there’s Orzo in the slowcooker and to not open it “LEST THE PASTA FAIL TO ABSORB THE BROTH!” Which is just.... Chris’ best line dleivery the episode. He says it like he’s saying the title of an old Stan Lee and Jack Kirby comic, i’ts wonderful.

So our heroes defeat them and Louie steps in to charge for the service and quickly comes up with a company idea and name “Harp-B-Gone” (A Subsidary of Louie Inc). Louie hires Storkules on the spot. Storkules proudly tells Donald he has a job the next day and goes off to it. What follows is our heroes hilarously shooting a commerical with Storkules playing a baby to promote themselves so they can help who needs it. They just need to find out what they want.. and thanks to the JWG and the harpies stealing it find out they go after people’s most treasured posessions   Cue Ghostbusters-Style Montage

And this isn’t just me saying thing. The Rewriting History Entry (Which as a series weirdly stops around mid-season 2 and I don’t get why frank hasn’t gone back and finished it since) states they specifically based this whole operation on ghostbusters and the entire sequence of our heroes cleanin up the town reminds me of it. The highlight of it is a glomgold cameo where he’s kidnapped.. and refuses to pay so Louie just lets him go. And were this an innocent person who couldn’t afford it, i’d call him a monster.. but it’s glomgold. he brought this on himself.. and also sues himself for it. Wonder if he won. 

So with their stars rising, our heroes get booked on the hottest show in town: Dewey Dew-Night! I had honestly forgotten there was a Dewey Dew-Night segment in there, and delighted I get to talk about this recurring bit.  It’s one of the shows funniest runners and just perfectly FITS Dewey: of course the most egotistical and energetic of the kids would not only want to be a late hnight host but make up his own show. I also love the slow evolution of it: it started as something everyone clearly knew about but he stlill tried to keep hidden, slowly escalated to him allowing the rest of his siblings (Webby very much included) and the giant man who stalks his uncle in, and by later this season he’s putting the show online in the web shorts and gladly shooting it into space, with Season 3 having him spend the first half of let’s get dangerous making a documentary that includes an episode of the show featuring Darkwing. It’s a small thing sure, but it’s the little things like this that make the show special. 

The show does reveal a problem though as it turns out they’ve GOT all the harpies and while Storkules merely wanted to help, Louie points out they need more to keep a buisness going and naturally never bothered to ask Storkules just how many there were. They need SOME plan to get going. Webby submits a legitamte and great idea, training the harpies as she’s been trying to do in the background of the episode and aside from a hole in the floor they are starting to listen. But Huey is an ass about it and not only shoots it down saying let’s keep the dangerous creatures contained, even though A) he has no idea WHERE they’ve been kept so he can’t verify it’s safe, and since i’ts Donald’s Closet no no it’s not. and B)There’s no where he knows of to keep them. He isn’t aware of the other bin till next season. and C) it’s not ehtical to keep creatures locked up forever epsecially since while the harpies are dangerous they arent’ MALEVOLENT and are clearly acting on instinct. oh and for D) at least she has a plan to keep the company going instead of just wanting to end this and cash out. 

Which Huey tries to.. but naturally Louie spent all their money on...

So their broke.. and Storkules has no rent money and feels like a failure despite having done NOTHING wrong. We do get a clever little nod to Disney’s hercules though “I”m not a hero, i’m a zero”. Webby rightfully glares at Louie who decides to fix it... by sneaking into Donald’s house that night to free the harpies. 

Though to the shows credit it’s a VERY bad idea, and Storkules coming in mid attempt and congradulating Louie when he lies about checking the door gets the kid to come clean. And it’s a nice character moment: He could still go through with it.. but it’s clear he realizes just HOW low he was about to sink to save his own skin and that as much as Storkules WANTS a paycheck and deserves one, it’s not worth hurting people to get it. Louie tries to justify after this.. but can’t. 

Unforutnately Donald took a lot of stupid pills this episode, yells about his no pets rule and frees them instead of you know, THINKING for five minutes.

So yeah NATURALLY Donald is an angry shit about it , refusing to actually TALK to Storkules about this or maybe admit this is partly HIS OWN FAULT. Yes their both at fault, Storkules shoudln’t of shoved a bunch of harpies in a closet. That’s a classic blunder. But Donald still opened it and isn’t called out on taking zero responsibility. Huey sees the fracas and just takes down their days without an accident placard, good stuff and he and webby arrive to help. Donald fights with Storkules and Storkules worries about loosing his friend.. lead to them going after the thing he values most aka donlad and hyjacking the house boat, though the kids manage to get aboard. 

As Storkules saves Donald, Louie realizes the most precious thing he has is  his merch and willingly gives it, and his buisness up to save everyone. It’s good character stuff and shows that despite his problems with greed, Louie IS a good kid and will do the right thing. It’s what seperates him from the Rouges Gallery the family faces: He has FLEXIBLE morals but he has morals when it comes down to it. So everyone tosses the stoff to help direct the hapries and make it home tying them up. Donald has a heart to heart with Storkules and agrees to help him find another place, but still considers him a friend and they hug. Awww.  One intresting thing I DID find out from rewriting history is they originally fully intended to have Storkules STAY on the houseboat. He was going to be a permenant member of the household, at least as far as Season 2 was concenred and plans were made for several episodes down the road: the whole bit with him in “The Golden Spear” was simply because he lived there, he was going to be the one Della met in the houseboat, obliviously guilting her about what she’d missed, and he was going to set off the kids subplot in “Whatever Happened to Donald Duck?”

This ended up not happneing for logistical reasons: Frank, and I swear this was the term he used, felt they already had the perfect Himbo in Launchpad and it was just too much HImbo energy for the two to coexist without one taking the others screen time or neither getting a lot. 

The next reason was having a god around simply broke the story: He cited the gilded man from “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!” as a specific example. There were just too many hoops to jump to have him not break any story he should be around for.  Finally with Della being added to the cast soon there simply wasn’t room in the main cast. Della brought it up to 9, Storkules would make it 10, and as i’ve gone on about the show already had trouble ballancing it’s cast, something Frank admitted to. Adding him would both be too big a stiatus quo change and be one on top of the massive one of Della joining the cast. So he was dropped back to recurring and only showed up one more time. And while it was the right call I am dismayed he didn’t show up for the whatever happened to donald duck subplot and it does feel very weird he never adresses Donald being gone despite, at least for season 2, apparently living in Duckburg. Otherwise though as funny as this wouldv’e been.. yeah it was the right call. 

Scrooge returns... having been absent all episode because otherwise it wouldn’t work and easily saw Louie loosing it all coming.. but gives him a can of lemonade for his troubles and comforts the boy. The heart of htis arc and what makes it work at it’s best.. is these two. Scrooge GENUINELY wants to help Louie see his potetial successor in buisness: oh sure adventure wise he’s throughly covered.. but Webby, Dewey and Della all are more focused on the addventure part and that’s where their passion and talent lies, Huey’s better at science and given his close frinedship with fenton and how much that part of things seems to truly inspire him, i’ts what he was born for, and Donald just wants a regualar life and can’t manage his own life much less a company. 

Louie is the only one in his family whose the right fit to inhereit that part of his legacy and I feel that’s why he takes a special intrest in him and webby over the other two: While he loves all of them and will clearly again leave a piece of his fortune and empire to all of them, Webby is the most like him, as we later find out not coincidentally in the slightest, when it comes to adventuring and curosity and a love of exploration. But Louie is the most like him in other ways; He’s cynical, money driven and passionate. Scrooge simply wants him to be as good a person and buisnessperson as he can be and is trying to push him in the right direction. And does so here by pointing out that failure isn’t a huge problem..it happens, comes with the terriotiry and as we’ve seen with life and times, even with portions of it clearly not happening in this universe, he failed a LOT to get here. What matters is that he tries and tries to do it the right way. 

Scrooge also sympathizes as he was buying a lemonade company in cape suzette, giving Louie the can as a present... but laments there’s no cheap effective way to deliver the lemons. Louie notices the harpies going after the can after he throws it and Webby controlling them with it and muses that theyd idn’t think about what THEY wanted.. nad rightfully gets punched across the lawn by Webby, whose had to spend an entire episode having her surrogate brothers talk down to her and ignore her valid ideas. She dosen’t even open her eyes she just bops him one.

So we end with Scrooge having enlisted the hapries, Louie trying to take credit again and both realizing they might just steal the lemons instead of work for them. Ha ha ha their going to get so sued. 

Final Thoughts: This one was mediocre. It has some good points, Louies arc continues to fascenate me, Huey’s done with this shit attitude is hilarous, and Storkules is at his best in this episode: his crush on Donald is toned down from this..

To this

To the point I could see shipping them off this one if Storkules episode didn’t have him do eveyrthing short of .. well see above.  So it’s not WITHOUT merit: I love me a ghost busters style plot, there are great jokes and Chris Dimatopolis is a gem as always. Glad he’s getting work after this show on Invincible and hope he gets to play Darkwing again some day. But the Donald stuff and the fairly predictable plot drag this one down. I’ts fairly obvious they’ll run out of harpies, Louie will have spent the money and they’ll somehow get free. It’s not a terrible episode but it’s it’s sandwiched story wise between two straight up classics on both sides: the previous two episodes were even better than I remembered and the next two are incredibly good: Whateve Happened to Della Duck?! is one of their finest hours and The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck, while not making my best of list for the series as a whole is still one of my favorites for the season.  It’s just disapointing this one wasn’t nearly as good as I remmebered and it’s understandable why I forgot almost all of it, unlike the previous two episodes. Thankfully as I said better’s over the horizon.

NEXT TIME ON OF MOONS, MILLIONARES AND MOTHERS: I’m taking a break for a week. One of two weeklong breaks for the arc, the other being the first week of July where i’m on vacation anyway (Though i’ll be doing the episode I would’ve done for that week the week before to keep the pace up, so no worries),

 As for why, it’s my utmost honor to announce GOOF WEEK! Goof Week is a weeklong celebration of Goofy’s birthday. The idea came about because as I do for the big three, I intended to just do a shorts special. But Kev , the guy who made this very review possible, suggested doing the two part Goof Troop pilot. And since kev pays for a house of mouth episode a month anyway and thaks to you lovely people I hit my patreon stretch goal to review the goofy movie, I figured “why not make a week out of it. Hence Goof week. So next week we’ll have a review of the two part pilot for Goof Troop, the special Sports Goof, the House of Mouse episode Super Goof, your regularly schedule shorts spectacular, with The Goofy Movie for the grand finale! yaaahoooooieeee! 

When we come back i’ll be shuffling episodes around slightly so I can do the Della comics from the Ducktales Tie-In Comic before her debut and in time for Donald’s own theme week in June, i’ll be saving “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?” for the week after Donald Week. Instead next we get a fun wild west adventure as Scrooge tells a story of his outlaw days, his tension with goldie and his encounter with a certain robber baron as John D Rockerduck FINALLY makes his screen debut. Yee-Haw!

If you liked this review, subscribe and follow for more and consider joining my patroen, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. I have exclusive reviews, my most recent duck based one being an obscure carl barks story about wigs and the boys attempting to murder a guy with a blow gun, and your contribution helps me reach my goals and thus gets everyone, patreon or not, a bunch of neat new reviews. If you get me to 20 dollars a month, i’m currently at 15, EVERYONE will get a monthly darkwing duck reviews, reviews of the two remaning ducktales 87 mini series including the origin of GIZMOOOODDUUUUUCCCKKKK, and a review of the Danny Phantom movie The Ultimate Enemy. And with the month running out NOW’S the time to join. YOu’ll also get to pick one of the shorts for my Donald Duck birthday specail next month, so if you want to join in NOWS the time. But wether you can or you can’t, thank you for reading, i’ts been a pleasure. 

[gayninjabadass]

Love Potion

So I wrote this a long time ago back when I had about 45 followers. I dug it up and added it to my Ao3 so it wouldn't get lost forever. I completely forgot what I’d written about and now I after reading it I realize I always include Ship Captain Rick Grimes in my stories.

I’m not even sorry.

Rick will go down with this ship.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11390499/chapters/25507755

“Imagine Your OTP

Imagine Person A of your OTP being drugged with something that makes them think they’re in love with Person B.

B is confused, because A doesn’t act any differently.

What happens next is up to you.

(Bonus if there’s a friend there who understands immediately, and keeps headdesking.)”

Jesus had been going back and forth for weeks about weather or not to just throw away the solution he whipped up. He had found a recipe for what sounded like a love potion but he had doubts that it would even work and if it didn’t and Daryl found out he would be screwed. Daryl’s trust was hard earned and he wasn’t sure it was worth the risk.

Jesus sighed and leaned against the sink swirling the jar of pink liquid just about ready to dump it out when the door to his trailer pushed open. He spun around on the spot hiding the jar behind him his heart jumping into his throat. Rick’s head peaked in to Jesus and Daryl’s living space with his signature business face.

“Oh Rick, you scared the shit out of me.”

Jesus puts a hand to his heart in relief. Rick dosen't say anything he just steps further into the camper and reaches behind Jesus to grab the jar he was still hiding there. Jesus wants to ask Rick how he knows but the answer seems obvious. Maggie had helped Jesus find all the ingredients. She must have clued him in. Now he is here to stop Jesus from making an ass out of himself and he can’t blame him. Rick is protective of Daryl. Jesus is glad someone looks out for him.

“Daryl will be here any second. I told him I needed to talk to you both”

Jesus dosen't follow Rick’s logic. He was sure Rick was about to yell at him. He just goes with the subject change though grateful for the distraction.

“What about?”

Rick rolls his eyes and looks at Jesus from under his brow.

“I don’t actually need to talk to you but I am tired of watching you two dance around each other like this.”

Jesus mouth gaped open and closed like a fish. He was caught red handed but what Rick suggested was so much worse. He had been certain that he hadn’t behaved any different the usual. He’d actually been trying very hard not to let on to anything. Maybe he was losing his touch. Maybe everyone saw how hopelessly in love he was. His stomach turned at the thought.

“Rick I can’t. Daryl would never forgive me.”

Rick just rolls his eyes looking the way he always does when Carl is acting particularly like his age.

“Just trust me”

If anyone knew Daryl it was Rick so Jesus had a hard time arguing. The nervousness in his gut was insistent though as he ready himself to argue it Daryl pushed in to the trailer. He stopped to take his boots off Jesus noticed with a surge of affection. Jesus only complained once about him tracking mud around and that was all it took because Daryl had never worn his boots in the trailer again. Having been distracted by Daryl Jesus is surprised when Rick sets down three cups of juice and slides into the booth. Indicating with his hand where Jesus should sit across from him he calls out to Daryl.

“This is mostly a social call. I haven’t been able to check in on you two lately. Thought you could catch me up in some things.”

Daryl eyes Rick skeptically is he approaches the only empty seat and it’s corresponding juice. He slides in next to Rick and drums his finger on the glass.

“Wish ya said that when ya found me. I ran out an Aaron ‘fore I finished fixin’ his stove.”

Jesus palms were sweating as he sips his drink nervously waiting for Daryl to drink his juice. He saw Daryl eye it for another moment before tipping the whole cup back in one go. Jesus could see the empty jar in his sink out of the corner of his eye and his heart jumped into his ears. How fast does this stuff work anyway? Would Rick being here change anything? Jesus catches Daryl eyes and sips his drink for something to do.

“What’s gotten in to ya?”

“Hmmm?”

Jesus feigns innocence.

“Ya haven’t said a word.”

Rick is smiling behind his hand but says nothing as Daryl continues to stare at Jesus. Jesus waves his hand dismissively.

“I was just trying to think of something to update Rick with. I haven’t done much lately is all.”

Daryls eyes squint even further.

“You’ve reorganized the hilltop library, started training the munchkins with your ninja Kung fu shit, you replotted the entire garden, and you found 3 barrels of oil on a run. The fuck you mean you ain’t done nothin’ ”

Jesus feels his face flush. He tucks his hair behind his ear and smiles at Daryl.

“Well when you say it like that I guess I have done somethings. I just … like to help.”

Rick jumps in to save Jesus from the embarrassment that’s eatting him alive.

“Your work is always helpful. Especially the a 'Kung fu ninja shit’ Carl really loves it. ”

Rick’s smile is infectious and Jesus thinks he sees Daryl smirk too though an actual smile on Daryl’s face would be about as common as finding unexpired medicine. That is, incredibly rare, to put it plainly.

Jesus can’t help the way his foot bounces or his fingers drum on his cup and Daryl is looking at him like he has two heads. It’s obvious the potion he whipped up didn’t work. Now he’s trapped in this awkward conversation and he feels like he is going to explode. Rick eyes him knowingly and looks to Daryl casually.

“So Daryl I’m happy to see you’re not living alone anymore. I don’t have to worry about you so much.”

Daryl ducks his head down hiding his face in his hair.

“You ain’t gotta worry anyway”

“I know but I can’t help it. When everyone started settling down you didn’t. It’s good to see you warming up to this place. It’s better for you than Alexandria.”

Rick looks at Jesus as he says that about Daryl belonging at hill top and Jesus wants to crawl under a rock. He knows what Rick is trying to do but he obviously dosen't realize the potion hasn’t worked and if Daryl starts to notice how odd they are acting they will both be screwed.

“Ah Rick can I talk to you… for a second.”

Jesus points to the back of the trailer separated from them by an accordion door. Daryl is squinting at him again in that calculating way. Rick nods following after him as he leads the way. As soon the they are far enough away Jesus turns around letting himself feel the panic completely.

“It didn’t work Rick! We gotta wrap this up before he figures out what’s going on and kicks me out of my own trailer. I wouldn’t even blame him. Oh my God this was so stupid. What was I thinking? Love positions? what is this a Disney movie?”

Rick puts a grounding hand on Jesus shoulder and in an equally urgent whisper tells him.

“Jesus. Your a smart guy. You cant seriously need me to tell you what’s going on out there.”

“What are you talking about Rick, he’s acting exactly like he always does. It didn’t work!”

Rick grasps both his shoulders now leaning down to look into Jesus eyes.

“He’s acting like he always does you’re right. He listed off everything you’ve been doing for the last 2 months off the top of his head. He hasn’t stopped peeking at you from under his hair. He’s watching how nervous you’re acting and trying to figure out why. He’s barley payed attention that I’m here the entire conversation he was looking at you. I think he’s decided I’m making you nervous because he started putting space between us at the table. If we had stayed out there I’m sure he would have asked me to leave. The boots when he got here? You do realize he skinned a rabbit on the front porch steps of his house in Alexandria still covered in mud and dirt and blood then ate it’s raw liver just to fuck with the people who live there?”

“He what?”

Jesus is trying to keep up with Rick but he dosen't understand his point. Daryl is a messy guy it dosen't bother Jesus, anytime he’s asked Daryl to clean something up he has no questions asked. He respects his messy habits as much as Daryl respects his neat ones.

“Look. I’m just going to have to take this into my own hands.”

“You what? RICK dont!”

It’s too late Rick has walked back into the main trailer and went right for the sink.

“Daryl. Jesus and I gave you a love potion. Do you wanna tell Jesus why you aren’t acting any differently or should I?”

Daryl is sitting rigid in his seat. Jesus holds his breath waiting for Daryl to come and punch him or whatever he wants. When no one says anything Rick has enough shame to look a little guilty. He squats down to peek under Daryls hair barrier and asks again.  

“Hey, can I just tell him, he honestly dosen't have a clue.”

Daryl finally snaps out of his horrified startled silence and responds

“He want supposed to have a fucking clue. Ya prick”

Rick smiles now and Jesus thinks he’s never met these two before. What in God’s name did he get himself into.

Rick looks back to where Jesus is standing and says really slowly.

“If you give someone a love potion and they act exactly the same what does that mean?”

“That it didn’t work?”

Jesus asks quietly feeling guilty and stupid all at once. Rick literally puts his face on the table and groans. Daryl smacks him lightly on the ear. Daryls leg is bouncing nervously and Jesus just wants this to be over. He wants Daryl to blow up and Rick to leave and to never ever talk about this day again.

Rick and Daryl are doing that thing were the argue with their eyes and suddenly Rick is yelling while Daryl is trying to physically cover his mouth with his dirty stove fixing hands.

“He already loves you!”

It comes out muffled and garbled and one of Daryls finger ended up in Rick’s mouth. Rick spits exaggeratedly in the sink. Jesus just blinks. Then squeaks out a response.

“But..”

To everyone’s surprise Daryl is the one that responds.

“But nothin’”

Rick is grinning ear to ear and backing towards the door with his hands up in surrender.

“Look this has been fun, honestly, we should do it again sometime but you two should really talk.”

Daryl gives him the finger before chewing the nail he just presented. Rick ducks out and Jesus is left standing facing Daryls back with his entire world flipped upside down. It’s silent for a long moment. The tensions too much to break.

“Umm. Daryl?”

He just grunts.

“Are you… was Rick… was he right?”

Daryl stands up roughly nearly knocking over the table and shoves his feet into his boots not bothering to tie them.

“Yup.”

Is all he says as he leaves with the trailer down swinging open. Jesus stands frozen in place for a moment before an ear to ear grin of his own splits across his face. This didn’t turn out so bad after all.